REFUSAL – Mark is Scandalous

September 12, 2015 5:17 PM

In this case, applicant seeks registration of NO FUCKS GIVEN for hats, headbands, hooded sweatshirts, pants, shirts, and wraps. NO FUCKS GIVEN is the standard unit of measurement used to describe the amount an individual cares about something. [via jessamyn]
posted by not_on_display (37 comments total)

NO FUCKS GIVEN is the standard unit of measurement used to describe the amount an individual cares about something

The heck with the Patent Office, does the National Institute of Standards and Technology know about this amazing new standard unit of measurement?
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:22 PM on September 12, 2015 [8 favorites]

I think the reason that expression was rejected for patent is that it is in the public domain.
posted by Jeff Dewey at 5:29 PM on September 12, 2015

Prior art.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:31 PM on September 12, 2015 [11 favorites]

"The fact that profane words may be uttered more freely in contemporary American society than in the past does not render such words any less profane. In re Tinseltown, Inc., 212 USPQ 863, 866 (TTAB 1981) (holding the mark BULLSHIT scandalous for handbags and other personal accessories); see In re Michalko, 110 USPQ2d 1949, 1953 (TTAB 2014) (holding the mark ASSHOLE REPELLENT scandalous for a spray can gag gift)."

This is like Thomas Pynchons' bathroom reading.
posted by clavdivs at 5:33 PM on September 12, 2015 [8 favorites]

Jesus Motherfucking Christ, it's a trademark not a patent. I can ALMOST see confusing copyright and trademark, but patents? AARRRRGGHHHH //pulls out remaining hair
posted by exogenous at 5:37 PM on September 12, 2015 [8 favorites]

I'm so pedantic, but "NO FUCKS GIVEN" is a quantity of a unit of measure "FUCKS GIVEN", not the actual unit of measure. Also, yay!
posted by petrilli at 5:40 PM on September 12, 2015 [18 favorites]

Nobody gives a fuck about your pedantry, dude.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:43 PM on September 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

∬_S F⋅dS = 0
posted by Wolfdog at 6:01 PM on September 12, 2015 [9 favorites]

I wonder what the noise floor of the COULD CARE LESS international standard anechoic chamber is?
posted by scruss at 6:10 PM on September 12, 2015 [5 favorites]

It's probably not parquet.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:18 PM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

The problem isn't that No Fucks Given means that one does not care. The question is what is the standard? How much do I can if I give a fuck at standard temperature and pressure? Does the presence or absence of a rolling donut change the amount of care that one fuck represents? Does that amount change if the fuck is in flight? What if it is in flight and there is a rolling donut present?
posted by eriko at 6:23 PM on September 12, 2015 [10 favorites]

The real question is whether, once ISO establishes an International Standard Fuck Unit, will the USA be a signatory, or define its own Fuck Unit standard?
posted by ardgedee at 6:33 PM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

The US, UK and a couple of places like maybe Liberia will continue to use the old imperial rogering.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:41 PM on September 12, 2015 [12 favorites]

This decision should surprise precisely nobody who knows anything about Trademark applications. Because I know practically nothing and I still would have predicted this.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:51 PM on September 12, 2015

Does that amount change if the fuck is in flight? What if it is in flight and there is a rolling donut present?

Who gives a flying fuck?
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:11 PM on September 12, 2015 [5 favorites]

how much fucks would a given fuck fuck if a given fuck gave a fuck good?
posted by tilde at 7:50 PM on September 12, 2015 [4 favorites]

Fucks.
Give Today.
posted by Kabanos at 7:54 PM on September 12, 2015 [3 favorites]

The question is what is the standard?

1 fuck = the amount of concern you have for 1 kg of water at 4° Celcius at sea level
posted by moss at 8:00 PM on September 12, 2015 [17 favorites]

"The fact that profane words may be uttered more freely in contemporary American society than in the past does not render such words any less profane."

Yes it does. That's how profanity works. When a formerly profane word becomes acceptable to utter in mixed company it ceases to be profane. Which is why we can say "damn" today without anyone fainting.
posted by 1adam12 at 8:22 PM on September 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

well, fuck...
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 8:31 PM on September 12, 2015 [1 favorite]

Moss, I applaud your efforts, and the unit seems quite appropriate, but these days we typically use the triple point of water instead, as it defines both temperature and pressure simultaneously in a physically invariant fashion. You might want to consider this in your submission to the CGPM.
posted by memetoclast at 8:36 PM on September 12, 2015 [2 favorites]

Although the trademark examining attorney has refused registration, applicant may submit evidence and arguments in support of registration. Applicants who filed their application online using the lower-fee TEAS Plus or TEAS RF application form must (1) file certain documents online using TEAS, including responses to Office actions (see TMEP §§819.02(b), 820.02(b) for a complete list of these documents); (2) maintain a valid e-mail correspondence address; and (3) agree to receive correspondence from the USPTO by e-mail throughout the prosecution of the application. See 37 C.F.R. §§2.22(b), 2.23(b); TMEP §§819, 820. TEAS Plus or TEAS RF applicants who do not meet these requirements must submit an additional processing fee of $50 per international class of goods and/or services. 37 C.F.R. §§2.6(a)(1)(v), 2.22(c), 2.23(c); TMEP §§819.04, 820.04. However, in certain situations, TEAS Plus or TEAS RF applicants may respond to an Office action by authorizing an examiner’s amendment by telephone without incurring this additional fee. If the Applicant has questions about its application or needs assistance in responding to this Office action, please telephone the assigned Trademark Examining Attorney directly at the number below, or email.


You really have to give a lot of fucks to have no fucks given.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:38 AM on September 13, 2015 [4 favorites]

The pedant in me is concerned with the fast and loose use of the words "obscene," "vulgar," and "profane" in a government document. (Said pedantry further extends to the abysmal comma use in the document, but I can't be arsed just now.)

"Fuck" is not, despite The Free Dictionary's assertion, vulgar. Nor is it profane, as the USPTO calls it. It is obscene. Some definitions from a blog post I once wrote:

Vulgar: the basic meaning is inelegant, unrefined, low class usage

Example: A doctor saying, “The appendix is inflamed. We’re going to have to operate and take that bitch out.”

Profane: the basic meaning is insulting to God or religion; to desecrate; antonym: sacred

Example: “Jesus H. Christ! that’s the goddamned dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

Obscene: the basic meaning is repulsive, dirty, offensive to modesty or decency; often involves sexual terms or words involving bodily functions.

Example: “If you don’t like what I have to say, you can go fuck yourself.”

Obscenity has a legal definition, the Miller Test. Neither profanity nor vulgarity are defined by the law.

None of this would alter the USPTO's determination, of course. One simply would like to see our unelected bureaucratic overlords get their terminology straight when they deny us a little fun.
posted by bryon at 12:55 AM on September 13, 2015 [19 favorites]

I wonder what the noise floor of the COULD CARE LESS international standard anechoic chamber is?

The international standard uses COULDN'T CARE LESS.
posted by effbot at 12:59 AM on September 13, 2015 [4 favorites]

The US, UK and a couple of places like maybe Liberia will continue to use the old imperial rogering.

The Imperial measurement is Arsed
posted by fullerine at 1:42 AM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

OED says 'Fuck' is 'coarse slang' in pretty much all instances (and there are quite a few). It also provides 'vulgar' and 'obscene' as different possible meanings of 'coarse'.
posted by biffa at 3:02 AM on September 13, 2015

I'm so pedantic, but "NO FUCKS GIVEN" is a quantity of a unit of measure "FUCKS GIVEN", not the actual unit of measure. Also, yay!

Nobody gives a fuck about your pedantry, dude.

Actually, I came into this thread almost solely to make sure someone had already made this observation. I'd say I give about a fuck and a half.

same as in town
posted by solotoro at 5:05 AM on September 13, 2015 [2 favorites]

Ha! I'm trade-marking "Zero Fucks Given" which is the correct way of saying it.
posted by MikeMc at 6:34 AM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

This seems like the perfect place to show off my laser cutting skills.

You will note that the box, it is empty.
posted by Katemonkey at 8:24 AM on September 13, 2015 [7 favorites]

One simply would like to see our unelected bureaucratic overlords get their terminology straight when they deny us a little fun.

Denying some jackass a trademark for this common phrase is the opposite of denying us a little fun.
posted by straight at 8:44 AM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

One simply would like to see our unelected bureaucratic overlords get their terminology straight when they deny us a little fun.

If you read the link, you'll see they actually did use the words "obscene" and "scandalous" to describe this particular phrase.
posted by straight at 8:47 AM on September 13, 2015

The pedant in me is concerned with the fast and loose use of the words "obscene," "vulgar," and "profane" in a government document.

I've never understood where the government gets off thinking they have anything whatsoever to say about any of those three words.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:49 AM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

Who gives a flying fuck?

The answer, by the way, is "Superman".
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:21 AM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

"...I don't know, but it sure felt good."
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:40 AM on September 13, 2015

This seems like the perfect place to show off my laser cutting skills.

You will note that the box, it is empty.

And the last of it, after all else had fled, was the gift of having no fucks to give.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:57 PM on September 13, 2015 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: old imperial rogering
posted by runincircles at 1:55 AM on September 14, 2015

The Imperial measurement is Arsed

I dunno... I rather thought it would be the "toss", as in "Don't give a toss".
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 4:19 PM on September 14, 2015