the closest you'll ever come to getting hit by a mail truck, hopefully

September 24, 2015 8:34 AM

Watch This Pro BMX Rider Terrify All Of NYC (vertigo/nauseating camera angles warning)

"Woo!" he cries, nearly decapitating some pedestrians as he careens through Chinatown.

posted by poffin boffin (42 comments total)

I wish I could be that effortlessly cool while also being a huge jerk!
posted by ChuraChura at 8:43 AM on September 24, 2015 [7 favorites]

Christ, what an asshole. A talented asshole, but an asshole nonetheless.
posted by adamrice at 8:43 AM on September 24, 2015 [22 favorites]

Great clip except the salmoning at 2:15.

Because salmoning is just shit cycling.
posted by mistersquid at 8:44 AM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]

Obviously the celebrity cameos are staged, and I'd imagine the "you can't ride in here" bit in the store was as well, but how much of the nearly running people over on the street was real?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:49 AM on September 24, 2015

Cool video, but some SERIOUS post-editing. Where was the camera when he looked in the mirror at himself?
posted by scolbath at 9:00 AM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]

I paused at that trying to figure it out too.
posted by Annika Cicada at 9:08 AM on September 24, 2015

Christ, what an asshole.

Sure, but wouldn't you like to add him to your professional network on LinkedIn?
posted by The Bellman at 9:14 AM on September 24, 2015 [41 favorites]

how much of the nearly running people over on the street was real?

no matter who is riding the bike the answer is always "all of it"
posted by poffin boffin at 9:15 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

> Where was the camera when he looked in the mirror at himself?

This seems to be the BMX version of the Candide Thovex video/ad/whatever from earlier this year, which is what I was reminded of by your question.
posted by majuju at 9:16 AM on September 24, 2015

Obviously the subject matter is flawed, but purely as a video, that was pretty well-done.
posted by hootenatty at 9:16 AM on September 24, 2015

Those police officers must have been actors since they didn't immediately taze him and write him a ticket for not wearing a helmet.
posted by backseatpilot at 9:18 AM on September 24, 2015 [9 favorites]

he's going really, really slowly in this video.
posted by entropone at 9:19 AM on September 24, 2015

that bit of salmoning up the taxi wave was some building-dangling russian-teen level of give-no-fucks.
posted by entropone at 9:27 AM on September 24, 2015 [3 favorites]

FG: 0
posted by gottabefunky at 9:35 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

This is why cyclists can't have nice things. There was some great riding, some clever staging, a fun route and premise, but so much assholishnes out of one rider that this is the style that someone sees once and they forget that most other cyclists don't ride like this (all the time).
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:37 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

What am I supposed to be thinking while watching this advert? 'This bloke is a massive arsehole. I'm just an arsehole. If only I could be a massive arsehole. Hang on a sec, are those Nikes?! Is that the secret to being a massive arsehole?! I shall purchase some Nike trainers at the earliest available opportunity! Then everyone will despise me like the massive arsehole in the advert!'
posted by jack_mo at 9:51 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

Sad that CWAA was comment #2 and not #1.
posted by GuyZero at 9:58 AM on September 24, 2015

That was fun to watch but the only part that irritated me was when he jumped the turnstile. I could care less if gets mowed down by a taxi but not swiping your metro card is just lame and smacks of trying way too hard.
posted by photoslob at 10:06 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

I thought I'd google it, but then I decided to stick with my initial assumption that "salmoning" refers to being inadvertently hit in the face with a large smoked fillet of salmon while riding a bike.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:15 AM on September 24, 2015 [4 favorites]

What can I say...I really liked this video.
posted by beau jackson at 10:17 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

Am I a dick for thinking this guy is a dick? Serious question: are there any repercussions to filming yourself jumping the subway turnstile?
posted by GrapeApiary at 10:25 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

Those are some smooth ass scene transitions. BRB, frame-by-framing this.
posted by jklaiho at 10:28 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm left wondering how much of this was thought up by overpaid ad execs, because some of the tropes feel a little tired. I say this because if it was written by like, BBDO or some ad agency then the whole "I think I'll just stop in here to pick up my new gold chain" feels gross.
posted by jnnla at 10:33 AM on September 24, 2015

Serious question: are there any repercussions to filming yourself jumping the subway turnstile?

If the NYPD really want to come after you, sure, why not, but in this case (what with it being a corporate-sponsored video) I'm about 95% sure someone swiped and then he jumped.
posted by griphus at 10:35 AM on September 24, 2015

What celebrities? Maybe I am too think but I don't know anyone in the video. Can someone help me out?
posted by wyndham at 10:44 AM on September 24, 2015

Nevermind, comments on the FPP clued me in. Victor Cruz and A$AP Ferg and Jackie from OITNB for those wondering like me.
posted by wyndham at 10:46 AM on September 24, 2015

A much better ending would have been if he went up in the helicopter and tried to do some insane stunt where he dive-bombs into the Tavern on the Green during rush hour, but it goes horribly wrong and we end on a POV shot from a coffin where his kid from the beginning is crying and saying "Why Daddy Why?" and then Peter Coyote's voice tells us not to ride like an asshole. Or something like that.
posted by fungible at 10:49 AM on September 24, 2015 [4 favorites]

I normally enjoy stunt videos, but instead of thinking "wow, that looks fun!" I kept thinking "wow, I'd hate do that, but I wonder if you could put it together with a quadcoptor and some compositing."
posted by postcommunism at 10:51 AM on September 24, 2015

That's not one of those regular sized bikes I ride. That one is rather small.

Soooo...
Does this guy even bike?
posted by bigendian at 10:54 AM on September 24, 2015

Weirdly enough, the way it shows NYC as nowhere-off-limits reminds me of having a home - of being a kid back in the days where kids could roam and adults would look out for us, and tell us off if we went too far (eg. if we emerged from a drainage tunnel into someone's backyard), but mostly just tolerate (or be amused by) our antics. We knew/recognized everyone, etc.

I moved to another country, which removes that ease and cultural familiarity with how to be free without Crossing The Line, the people are unfamiliar, etc., it's just not the same. It's not Home.

To me that video says "Home". (I doubt that's by accident)
posted by anonymisc at 11:09 AM on September 24, 2015 [4 favorites]

Asshole.
posted by DrLickies at 11:11 AM on September 24, 2015 [1 favorite]

Slaps using fish aside, this is for Dr Dracator: Don't Salmon, Don't Shoal: Learning The Lingo Of Safe Cycling.
posted by mistersquid at 11:15 AM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]

I loved this and immediately shared it with my BMX bike gang.

That's not a joke. Yes I am 39 years old and in a BMX bike gang with a bunch of 30- and 40-somethings reliving our youth. But I can't even bunny hop properly let alone pull off any of these tricks, and we are relatively law-abiding and pedestrian-accommodating. We *just* got a Go Pro and soon enough we'll be dropping some sick edits likenot even remotely as good as this.
posted by misskaz at 11:38 AM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]

100% of that was staged, and seeing obvious commercials on the blue saddens me.
posted by mhoye at 11:42 AM on September 24, 2015 [2 favorites]

At least when they do this sort of thing in Valparaiso, it's on a closed course.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:09 PM on September 24, 2015

Where was the camera when he looked in the mirror at himself?

My best guess is that it wasn't a mirror but a green screen panel. They also filmed a sideways track shot of him from the mirror's POV, reversed the footage so the text in the background is backwards, and inserted that onto the green screen element. But that's a wild-ass guess.
posted by peeedro at 12:29 PM on September 24, 2015

I just happened to listen to Roots Manuva's "Don't Breathe Out" while watching this video, and the tempo matched nicely. Between that and a love of bicyclists reclaiming roads, I had fun. Clean edits, too, so much so that I missed the first few and thought I wasn't paying attention.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:17 PM on September 24, 2015

Awesome video, but I have to say, "I luv dis city man" would probably be the last thing going through my mind in Times Square.
posted by pravit at 5:38 PM on September 24, 2015

Slaps using fish aside, this is for Dr Dracator: Don't Salmon, Don't Shoal: Learning The Lingo Of Safe Cycling.

World's smartest human on the matter today.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:20 AM on September 25, 2015

Pretty much all staged with some pretty bad edits. Fun, but not "watch all of it" fun.
posted by clvrmnky at 6:30 AM on September 25, 2015

Pretty much all staged with some pretty bad edits.

I wonder how much of a kickback Gothamist got for this mess of awkward product placements.
posted by mhoye at 7:32 AM on September 25, 2015

Nothing an umbrella in the spokes couldn't fix.
posted by Fnarf at 3:08 PM on September 25, 2015