Now you can phone your cat
October 16, 2015 12:05 PM   Subscribe

Worried that FifiCortexieKins has wandered off into the woods mousing and is lost? The cat GPS tracker allows you to monitor the location, and previous ramblings, of your cat. It weighs 25 grams, is claimed to be precise to three metres, contains a sim card, and incorporates a microphone and speaker so you can converse with your cat wherever they are. (Ad contains the French for meow)
posted by Wordshore (46 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Awesome. One of my biggest fears is my cats will get outside and be lost. If I could afford this, I'd have whipped out my credit card already.
posted by agregoli at 12:07 PM on October 16, 2015


Before I got a cat, I thought those microchip implants let you track your cat. I thought there was, like, a cat tricorder and if your cat got lost you would just beep-beep-beep until you found it again.

Actually, I could really use one of these - Dr. Cat has found a secret hangout spot somewhere in the house and I have not been able to figure out where it is. She emerges for meals and when it's time to sleep on top of the food ape or gallop on the stairs, but I can't find her otherwise.
posted by Frowner at 12:16 PM on October 16, 2015 [7 favorites]


Why is your cat named after Cortex, creepy dude, creepy.
posted by maryr at 12:17 PM on October 16, 2015 [6 favorites]


yeah but cats are great at finding GPS-denied environments

on the other hand, add a small camera to the cat payload package and you could play some pretty awesome pranks on people. "did that cat just call me an asshole?!", etc.
posted by indubitable at 12:17 PM on October 16, 2015 [8 favorites]


The Loc8tor isn't perfect, but we got it for our scaredy cat. It has saved us some stress multiple times. (the house cleaner closed the door to a downstairs closet, closing him in-- we got home, didn't see him, and used the loc8tor to find him pretty quickly.

Haven't tried it outdoors, though. For us, again, the loc8tor is perfect, because if he gets outside, he hides somewhere NEAR the house.
posted by gregvr at 12:18 PM on October 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


...and incorporates a microphone and speaker so you can converse with your cat...

My cat is psycho enough already without adding "hears voices" to the mix.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:19 PM on October 16, 2015 [19 favorites]


Why is your cat named after Cortex, creepy dude, creepy.

Needed a name for this post and was (a) emailing The Big C about a separate issue and (b) reading this tweet at the same time and it stuck.

I do not currently have a cat in real life, which is why I am sad :-(
posted by Wordshore at 12:20 PM on October 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I dunno, if I ever lose my cats I can just whisper the word "treat" or even just think about taking the cheese out from the fridge and they will instantly appear.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:22 PM on October 16, 2015 [12 favorites]


Me using this device: "Poopercat, you can never escape us. NEVER, POOPERINA."

(because the cat will be up in the attic bedroom minding its business and i will not let it)
posted by Kitteh at 12:24 PM on October 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Now wondering if, in a future upgrade, they will include the ability for the cat to phone you.
posted by Wordshore at 12:25 PM on October 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


rick
rick
rick
posted by uncleozzy at 12:27 PM on October 16, 2015 [37 favorites]


Frowner: look inside your box springs. One of my cats clawed a hole in the lining of ours and used to sleep in there all the time.
posted by something something at 12:29 PM on October 16, 2015 [10 favorites]


Great, but I still won't know if he's on top of the refrigerator or in the duct work.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:32 PM on October 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


Why not both? Cats are, after all, the only macro version of quantum matter.
posted by ursus_comiter at 12:35 PM on October 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


Frowner: look inside your box springs. One of my cats clawed a hole in the lining of ours and used to sleep in there all the time.
posted by something something at 3:29 PM on October 16 [2 favorites −] Favorite added! [!]


If this works out to be true, then I say to hell with this device. Just consult MetaFilter for all your cat-searching needs.
posted by Fizz at 12:40 PM on October 16, 2015 [7 favorites]


The description is somewhat confusing. "Since it works like a traditional GPS, through satellite reception, there is no maximum distance to follow the pet. " GPS will tell the device where it is, but it won't tell you where the device is. For that you need a different communication channel. Since they say it has a SIM card, that means it uses a cellular data modem to communicate its location and presumably for the two-way audio link. That's probably where the subscription cost comes in, but I'm still not sure if the cel carrier data plan is included in that or not.
posted by rocket88 at 12:41 PM on October 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


Now wondering if, in a future upgrade, they will include the ability for the cat to phone you.

In the middle of a business meeting:

"Hang on, Mister Fuzzy Britches is calling, I have to take this, he could be lost!"
posted by axiom at 12:45 PM on October 16, 2015 [12 favorites]


Great, now your cat can ignore you even when you're not there.
posted by musofire at 12:45 PM on October 16, 2015 [12 favorites]


So I can get the GPS for my cat and the TailTalk for my dog. Great. Anything for the goldfish, yet? What about the porch spider? Come on people! I've still got disposable income, help me dispose of it.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:47 PM on October 16, 2015 [5 favorites]


Frowner: look inside your box springs. One of my cats clawed a hole in the lining of ours and used to sleep in there all the time.

One of my cats once punched out a panel in the basement ceiling and hid up there for days because she was pissed that we left her with a catsitter. We had to tempt her out with a roast chicken, and even then she basically wouldn't talk to us for a few weeks. (This was a year or two before she somehow squashed a mouse completely flat in the living room, but that's a different story.)
posted by holborne at 12:50 PM on October 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


This is going to go on kids.
posted by pracowity at 12:51 PM on October 16, 2015 [5 favorites]


This ruins everything. Our cats are in a permanent quantum state where not only might they be hiding inside our sofa or outside killing a baby skunk, but they are actually doing both at once. Once we track them with GPS, they will only be one or the other.

Hm. Might cut down on the number of dead baby skunks, though.
posted by maxsparber at 12:53 PM on October 16, 2015 [2 favorites]


I've done it again.
posted by cenoxo at 1:04 PM on October 16, 2015 [4 favorites]


Now wondering if, in a future upgrade, they will include the ability for the cat to phone you.

I have this for my dog. Every time he butt dials me, dogs run over from blocks around to sniff my phone.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:06 PM on October 16, 2015 [6 favorites]


Worried that FifiCortexieKins has wandered off into the woods mousing and is lost?

I'm more of a homebody, to be honest, and when Amazon started selling mice with Prime that pretty much put an end to the practice entirely.
posted by cortex at 1:16 PM on October 16, 2015 [20 favorites]


Needed a name for this post and was (a) emailing The Big C about a separate issue and (b) reading this tweet at the same time and it stuck.

Well, great, there's a mental picture I never needed, THANKS TWITTER.
posted by maryr at 1:49 PM on October 16, 2015


Don't tell my parents about this, they already FaceTime my cat.
posted by pleem at 2:18 PM on October 16, 2015 [3 favorites]


This is going to go on kids.

That model is in production already.

Also, it's going to go on you. When your stalker slips it behind your license plate or into your bag.
posted by j_curiouser at 2:23 PM on October 16, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't really know much about cats, but from what I've learned by reading the green, 3 meters is probably still not specific enough. The owner would be all "I don't understand, this whole three meter plot is just a grassy patch with a rock" and then come back a few days later like "phew, all is well guys, turns out the cat had somehow wedged itself into the very molecular structure of that rock".
posted by threeants at 2:33 PM on October 16, 2015 [18 favorites]


Our sweet boy cat Rupert wears a Tile on his collar. We can find him with it, but it's more useful as a way to call him. We instruct the Tile to ping him and then he chooses whether to comply with our request that he return to home base at once, where BestTreatEverTM will be waiting.
posted by carmicha at 2:55 PM on October 16, 2015 [9 favorites]


Miaou! (What le chat says to express ooh la la!)

But why is the roguish French cat in the ad named "Bob?"
posted by bearwife at 3:19 PM on October 16, 2015


Both my indoor cats already have (RFID?) microchips; I've often wondered what kind of apparatus it would take to ping said chips from 10 meters away or so, if they do a runner or something and are hiding in a neighbor's shed.
posted by sebastienbailard at 3:35 PM on October 16, 2015


your cats will figure out what a faraday cage is

it will happen
posted by indubitable at 4:12 PM on October 16, 2015 [5 favorites]


Pet microchips use passive (unpowered) RFID, which can be activated up to several meters away depending on the materials between you & them. Get a scanner that measures signal strength & you can use it like a direction finder.
posted by scalefree at 4:26 PM on October 16, 2015


When the cat phones you from Miami Beach, you'll know it's back...
posted by Jubal Kessler at 6:49 PM on October 16, 2015


This is going to go on kids.

That model is in production already.


I considered Loc8tor for my kids when they were young and had a tendency to wander off when in crowded places (a GPS unit is useless indoors, such as in a big store or museum), then I figured out I could just give them a walkie talkie (with alarm paging) for a lot less money and a lot more fun for them. I don't think it would work for a cat though.
posted by eye of newt at 12:28 AM on October 17, 2015


No joke, the last time we went out of town overnight, I thought to myself "I hope the cat's OK, I should call her to see how she's doing." At the time I felt ridiculous, but now ridiculous -> reality, and I actually do feel more comfortable knowing I'll be able to freak out my cat with my disembodied voice from anywhere with a cell signal.
posted by teponaztli at 12:58 AM on October 17, 2015


The owner would be all "I don't understand, this whole three meter plot is just a grassy patch with a rock" and then come back a few days later like "phew, all is well guys, turns out the cat had somehow wedged itself into the very molecular structure of that rock".

This is a thing that happens, yes.

Find the kitty in this picture, for example.
posted by lollusc at 1:37 AM on October 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Get a scanner that measures signal strength & you can use it like a direction finder.

Hudson: I got signals. I got readings, in front and behind.
Frost: Where, man? I don't see shit.
posted by Insert Clever Name Here at 3:12 AM on October 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


(NSFW) Meow.
posted by Wordshore at 3:20 AM on October 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


Lollusc, two questions...
1) is there actually a cat in that pic?
2) is the leftmost slab joint pointing at it?
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 6:16 AM on October 17, 2015


This sounds like a terrible way of tracking my cat, but it sounds like a great way of finding her collar...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 6:17 AM on October 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


Hah, yes, she's really there, and once you see her it's very obvious. She's not even hidden by anything (or at least, her full head, front leg, and tail are all visible. Try looking at the very centre of the image, and then shifting your gaze slightly to the left of the big rock there.
posted by lollusc at 6:22 AM on October 17, 2015


Not sure what you mean by the leftmost slab joint, but the line that starts in the bottom left corner of the photo is pointing at her, yes. If you follow that line all the way up until it meets the rock in the middle, you will get to the cat's head. Zooming in at that point in the middle will also help you see how tightly she wedged herself into the space between the rocks.

We took the photo after a seriou 45 minute search of the garden where we walked right past her multiple times. I only noticed in the end because her tail twitched on top of the rock and I thought it was a snake. (A stripy, furry snake.)
posted by lollusc at 6:29 AM on October 17, 2015


I hope the cat's OK, I should call her...

After Mr. Carmicha and I noticed that Rupert looks intently at the answering machine and meows whenever we replay messages left by whichever of us is out of town, we started calling him when we're both away from home for a few days and he's on his own (except for visits from his caretaker). Sometimes Mr. Carmicha will put Rupert on the phone when I call (or vice versa) and he always responds. We have a pact about never admitting any of this to IRL friends.
posted by carmicha at 8:18 AM on October 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


your cats will figure out what a faraday cage is

it will happen


please do not interfere with the signal thank you
posted by sebastienbailard at 12:05 AM on October 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


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