Come aboard. We're expecting... well, maybe not YOU.
November 23, 2015 9:31 AM Subscribe
In the ten years it ran on ABC, it seemed like everybody who was anybody had been a guest star on "The Love Boat". Well, not quite, and one weird Tumblr now exists to fix that... Love Boat Insanity inserts pictures of those who missed the Love Boat into the familiar logo - people who were doing other things, or the producers would not have approved of, as well as others who were too young at the time, or too old or too dead or just purely fictional. Over 850 guest stars so far...
If you'd asked me 5 minutes ago if the Del Rubio Triplets made it onto a late series episode of The Love Boat (like the time period when Ted McGinley and Mermaid Teri Hatcher were regulars), I would have bet a lot of money on 'yes' actually.
I love these all though.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:38 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I love these all though.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:38 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I can't believe the Del Rubio Triplets and Shari Lewis & Lampchop weren't guest stars.
posted by not that girl at 9:38 AM on November 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by not that girl at 9:38 AM on November 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
I remember William Christopher (aka Father Mulcahy from M*A*S*H) guest starring, and in one scene he was making out with a woman. My young self was vaguely scandalized.
posted by jonmc at 9:39 AM on November 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 9:39 AM on November 23, 2015 [7 favorites]
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I remember seeing Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS on the Love Boat.
posted by adamrice at 9:41 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by adamrice at 9:41 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Where would Flying Robot stay on the Love Boat? I don't think there are cabins big enough for him.
posted by Rob Rockets at 9:43 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Rob Rockets at 9:43 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Obviously Flying Robot would pick the Love Boat up and carry it.
posted by happyroach at 9:53 AM on November 23, 2015
posted by happyroach at 9:53 AM on November 23, 2015
Just as long as Jonny Socko told him to.
posted by ursus_comiter at 9:55 AM on November 23, 2015
posted by ursus_comiter at 9:55 AM on November 23, 2015
(The one time I ever won tickets calling in to the local radio station (KCRW) and being the right caller to answer the question (Greenland!), it was for tickets to see Tiny Tim at the old Bogart's in Long Beach, CA. Tiny Tim couldn't make it at the last minute for some reason, so they booked the Del Rubio Triplets instead, which was, I dunno, outta sight.)
posted by notyou at 9:57 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by notyou at 9:57 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
As much as I love these things (and I do, this is wonderful), I find I need really really tight editing for them to remain awesome. Like the headshot inserted into the frame really really needs to look like that they had the actor in front of their set and told them to turn their head, smile or mug a little and then froze it to put their name up and move on to the next one, or it just isn't as funny as the ones that look right. Then they all start to look a little wrong or the joke goes stale and I'm not longer as excited to see [insert incongruous celebrity here] fictionally guest starring on the Love Boat.
posted by crush-onastick at 10:00 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by crush-onastick at 10:00 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
or the producers would not have approved of,
so Charles Manson wasn't on the Love Boat? That's not what my memory tells me, and I was there, young and bored enough in the 70s to actually watch the damned show.
It was the one where guests kept showing up slaughtered, with slogans scrawled in blood on the walls of their berths. Piggies and Helter Skelter and other disturbing stuff. It was one of the better episodes.
posted by philip-random at 10:06 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
so Charles Manson wasn't on the Love Boat? That's not what my memory tells me, and I was there, young and bored enough in the 70s to actually watch the damned show.
It was the one where guests kept showing up slaughtered, with slogans scrawled in blood on the walls of their berths. Piggies and Helter Skelter and other disturbing stuff. It was one of the better episodes.
posted by philip-random at 10:06 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
And then there's the episode with Andy Warhol...
posted by ursus_comiter at 10:08 AM on November 23, 2015
posted by ursus_comiter at 10:08 AM on November 23, 2015
Some time ago on the blue I shared my astonishing discovery that the Pacific Princess was once the site of a crossover between the Brady Bunch and Father Knows Best.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:08 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:08 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
As a bonus that episode includes Milton Berle, Steve Allen, Leslie Uggams, Bert Convy and Tina Louise all playing themselves.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:10 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:10 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Dr. Miguelito Loveless may have never gone aboard the Love Boat, but he most assuredly was aboard the Ship Of Fools.
And what about Ray Collins? Sings:
"Primer mi carucha, chevy 39 . . .
Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back
My Ship of Love, ready to attack"'
The Nutmegs had their own. Doesn't a ship of love outrank a mere boat?
Phil Phillips had an entire Sea of Love.
posted by Herodios at 10:12 AM on November 23, 2015
And what about Ray Collins? Sings:
"Primer mi carucha, chevy 39 . . .
Fuzzy dice, bongos in the back
My Ship of Love, ready to attack"'
The Nutmegs had their own. Doesn't a ship of love outrank a mere boat?
Phil Phillips had an entire Sea of Love.
posted by Herodios at 10:12 AM on November 23, 2015
Remember the episode where Isaac painting a door on the boat but someone opened the door and he ended up painting Howard Keel?
posted by drezdn at 10:25 AM on November 23, 2015
posted by drezdn at 10:25 AM on November 23, 2015
Things I vaguely remember (and possibly misremember) about the Love Boat:
The girl who was the captain's daughter was a whiny idiot who didn't appreciate the mischief-making/adventure potential of living on a cruise liner. She should have been more like Eloise, or Jonny Quest.
Gopher was a sort of proto-MRA; always whining about women, never just being a decent person to them.
Isaac hated everyone, you could tell
The Doctor was clearly on something most of the time. Or drunk.
Everybody always seemed to be nodding and winking about sex but not having any.
90% of all couples on the boat were having relationship problems. The other 10% were newlyweds and would have their first Big Fight while on the boat.
posted by emjaybee at 10:32 AM on November 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
The girl who was the captain's daughter was a whiny idiot who didn't appreciate the mischief-making/adventure potential of living on a cruise liner. She should have been more like Eloise, or Jonny Quest.
Gopher was a sort of proto-MRA; always whining about women, never just being a decent person to them.
Isaac hated everyone, you could tell
The Doctor was clearly on something most of the time. Or drunk.
Everybody always seemed to be nodding and winking about sex but not having any.
90% of all couples on the boat were having relationship problems. The other 10% were newlyweds and would have their first Big Fight while on the boat.
posted by emjaybee at 10:32 AM on November 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
John Waters and Angela Lansbury.
Five stars, would cruise again.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:39 AM on November 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Five stars, would cruise again.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:39 AM on November 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
Okay, this is great. Now can we have a tumblr where we insert other famous heads into this photo of Issac the bartender?
posted by JanetLand at 11:18 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by JanetLand at 11:18 AM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
ooh, JanetLand, like instead of Ted Lange, have Ted Knight or Ted Danson or Ted Cassidy or Ted Cruz or Ted Bundy... and they're all doing TED Talks...
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:43 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:43 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
I haven't made it through the whole Tumblr... but David Foster Wallace should be in there somewhere.
posted by dnash at 12:54 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by dnash at 12:54 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
He threatened to kill himself and everybody else in the place during the show.
posted by ardgedee at 1:43 PM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ardgedee at 1:43 PM on November 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
90% of all couples on the boat were having relationship problems.
A few years back my wife and I were flying home from a trip, and had to change flights in Nashville. Or Memphis, maybe? Can't remember exactly, but the second leg of our flight was cancelled for some goddamn reason, and we ended up having to stay the night.
The airline put us up in the worst motel in the world. On the way down to our room from the lobby, we had to walk down an exterior stairway and past a row of rooms, 2 of which had doors that would not stay latched and had been blown open by the regionally inappropriate icy cold winds. There was literal garbage that had blown into corners of these rooms. OUR room was freezing cold when we got there, and while the details escape my memory, the only options for making the room warmer were....let's say "unsatisfying".
We were too angry to sleep, and too mistrustful of the environment to warm up by getting cozy together under the blankets, either literally or as a euphemism for other pass-the-time activities which we might have opted for in better circumstances. We ended up watching TV.
That wasn't all bad, because it's how we discovered the show "Burn Notice", which has turned out to be a great disposable show...i.e. something that we will watch if it's on and nothing else leaps out at us, but not something for which it matters, like, at all, whether or not you watch the damn thing on a regular basis.
BUT. Before we switched over to "Burn Notice", we came across an episode of "Love Boat". We are both children of the 70s, so we decided to give it a go, see if it triggered any nostalgia reaction. It sort of did, but the main thing we discovered was that it was a fucking awful show, in a very specific and very odd way. The episode in question did indeed involve at least one couple having a relationship problem, an older couple. I can't remember what the nature of the dispute between them was, but I do recall realizing, after 20 minutes or so, that the writers of the program had no ability at all the write conflict. Let's the say the conflict was introduced to the audience by some bit of dialog such as this:
HER: I really feel like X.
HIM: No! Not X! I'm not having any X in my life!
But that's all the writers could handle. Those two lines completely exhausted their ability to imagine how a couple might argue. The argument, as depicted on the show, stalled out completely. The terms of the conflict entirely failed to evolve over time, in any direction. So, on the fifth appearance of this couple on the screen, the dialog was again, with minor re-phrasing:
HER: I still feel like X.
HIM: No! Like I said, not X! I am not having any X in my life!
It was the most gratingly static bit of "drama" I've ever seen. We couldn't take it, and ended up switching the channel. Hence our discovery of "Burn Notice", which by comparison seemed to have the psychological complexity of a fucking Ibsen play.
Which, N.B., it doesn't. It's an entertainingly lightweight bit of fluff with some well-realized details of setting, and a charming cast. But it stomps all the hell over "Love Boat".
posted by Ipsifendus at 2:54 PM on November 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
A few years back my wife and I were flying home from a trip, and had to change flights in Nashville. Or Memphis, maybe? Can't remember exactly, but the second leg of our flight was cancelled for some goddamn reason, and we ended up having to stay the night.
The airline put us up in the worst motel in the world. On the way down to our room from the lobby, we had to walk down an exterior stairway and past a row of rooms, 2 of which had doors that would not stay latched and had been blown open by the regionally inappropriate icy cold winds. There was literal garbage that had blown into corners of these rooms. OUR room was freezing cold when we got there, and while the details escape my memory, the only options for making the room warmer were....let's say "unsatisfying".
We were too angry to sleep, and too mistrustful of the environment to warm up by getting cozy together under the blankets, either literally or as a euphemism for other pass-the-time activities which we might have opted for in better circumstances. We ended up watching TV.
That wasn't all bad, because it's how we discovered the show "Burn Notice", which has turned out to be a great disposable show...i.e. something that we will watch if it's on and nothing else leaps out at us, but not something for which it matters, like, at all, whether or not you watch the damn thing on a regular basis.
BUT. Before we switched over to "Burn Notice", we came across an episode of "Love Boat". We are both children of the 70s, so we decided to give it a go, see if it triggered any nostalgia reaction. It sort of did, but the main thing we discovered was that it was a fucking awful show, in a very specific and very odd way. The episode in question did indeed involve at least one couple having a relationship problem, an older couple. I can't remember what the nature of the dispute between them was, but I do recall realizing, after 20 minutes or so, that the writers of the program had no ability at all the write conflict. Let's the say the conflict was introduced to the audience by some bit of dialog such as this:
HER: I really feel like X.
HIM: No! Not X! I'm not having any X in my life!
But that's all the writers could handle. Those two lines completely exhausted their ability to imagine how a couple might argue. The argument, as depicted on the show, stalled out completely. The terms of the conflict entirely failed to evolve over time, in any direction. So, on the fifth appearance of this couple on the screen, the dialog was again, with minor re-phrasing:
HER: I still feel like X.
HIM: No! Like I said, not X! I am not having any X in my life!
It was the most gratingly static bit of "drama" I've ever seen. We couldn't take it, and ended up switching the channel. Hence our discovery of "Burn Notice", which by comparison seemed to have the psychological complexity of a fucking Ibsen play.
Which, N.B., it doesn't. It's an entertainingly lightweight bit of fluff with some well-realized details of setting, and a charming cast. But it stomps all the hell over "Love Boat".
posted by Ipsifendus at 2:54 PM on November 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
You heard me, Mr. Data. Set a course ... for LOVE!
posted by radwolf76 at 3:25 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by radwolf76 at 3:25 PM on November 23, 2015 [3 favorites]
Remember the episode where Isaac painting a door on the boat but someone opened the door and he ended up painting Howard Keel?
Finally, another clue!
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:18 PM on November 23, 2015
Finally, another clue!
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:18 PM on November 23, 2015
argedee: To be fair, the purser should have clarified what the poop deck was for when he boarded.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:25 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:25 PM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
Come to think of it, wasn't there an episode if Kolchak that was set on a cruise ship? Didn't it involve a werewolf?
posted by happyroach at 2:31 AM on November 24, 2015
posted by happyroach at 2:31 AM on November 24, 2015
First time I watched Love Boat, the song came on, and my mother said, "That sounds like Jack Jones." Which it was, and which is how I discovered my mother had a superpower I envied ever afterward.
posted by JanetLand at 7:09 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by JanetLand at 7:09 AM on November 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
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