All watched over by machines of loving grace
December 7, 2015 2:24 PM   Subscribe

Creating the Tamagotchi Singularity. 13 emulated Tamagotchis, with custom made AI to meet their every want, inspired by an XKCD comic. The Tamagotchi Hive. Youtube video of a talk about the hive.
posted by zabuni (34 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite
 
I could not implement the sound hardware and the Tamagotchi would be mute, but otherwise perfectly fine.

I have no mouth, and I must beep.
posted by jedicus at 2:38 PM on December 7, 2015 [14 favorites]


I WANT TO GO TO THERE.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 2:40 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I'm confused here. All that programming work, and then only 13 instances of the emulation are run? Seems like the hard work is front-loaded, so why not run 50 or 100 or 1000 Tamagotchis?
posted by explosion at 3:03 PM on December 7, 2015 [6 favorites]


The poem.
posted by thursdaystoo at 3:07 PM on December 7, 2015 [9 favorites]


For a second there I got Tamagotchi confused with Tachikoma, and wondered what the heck was going on here.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 3:27 PM on December 7, 2015 [9 favorites]


> I'm confused here. All that programming work, and then only 13 instances of the emulation are run? Seems like the hard work is front-loaded, so why not run 50 or 100 or 1000 Tamagotchis?

gosh I don't know. dignity, maybe? or respect?
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:30 PM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


Seems like the hard work is front-loaded, so why not run 50 or 100 or 1000 Tamagotchis?

In the video he says the current setup uses 7% of the resources of his server. He reckons that he could expand to use all resources by emulating 100. He probably wants to keep overhead low as he uses the server for other things.
posted by zabuni at 3:31 PM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


explosion: "I'm confused here. All that programming work, and then only 13 instances of the emulation are run? Seems like the hard work is front-loaded, so why not run 50 or 100 or 1000 Tamagotchis?"

A tamagotchi can only keep track of so many relationships.
posted by boo_radley at 3:34 PM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


the page he linked to, Inspired by xkcd, is really inspirational.
posted by numaner at 3:35 PM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


Don't miss Natalie's Even More Tamagotchis Were Harmed in the Making of this Presentation talk (linked from the "getting the tamagotchis" page). Includes real hardware hacking, Tamagotchis doing the harlem shake, and has almost convinced me that I need to go on a shopping spree for silly toys tomorrow, so I can dip them in acid.
posted by effbot at 3:45 PM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


Really someone needs to make a programming language whose build process is "email Randall Munroe to please draw a comic assuming that what you want exists, scrape the internet for solutions in a few days."
posted by BungaDunga at 4:35 PM on December 7, 2015 [13 favorites]


Really someone needs to make a programming language whose build process is "email Randall Munroe to please draw a comic assuming that what you want exists, scrape the internet for solutions in a few days."

This is similar to how there's a O(1) way to determine if a number is prime, just google "is n prime?" and if you get results from a page that looks like it's a list of prime numbers, then it's prime.
posted by Space Coyote at 4:36 PM on December 7, 2015 [10 favorites]


ah, O(1)(Eventually)
posted by boo_radley at 4:43 PM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


But what is the use of the website?

If anyone has to ask this, they should not be using the Internet unsupervised.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:43 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


Someone should create a digital pet heaven for defunct aibos and such. Send in your dead robotic pet and technicians will download the machine state and ROM of the pet, and set it up in an emulated environment where it could play and frolic for all eternity. Or until you stopped paying the monthly charge.
posted by Mitrovarr at 5:31 PM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


If we want the all-powerful machine lords of the far future to reconstruct our memories and personalities from the traces we've left on the Internet, and then grant our simulated selves life eternal in a digital paradise beyond imagination, we must, to avoid being hypocrites, ourselves grant perfect simulated existences to all of our own machine creations. like, duh, everyone knows that.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 5:48 PM on December 7, 2015 [5 favorites]


How do you know this hasn't already happened?
posted by um at 6:06 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I actually am perfectly ok with that as a baseline moral imperative.

At least for good machine creations.

Shit. What if this is how it starts?
posted by brennen at 6:07 PM on December 7, 2015


The Poem, was written by Brautigan in 1950, when he was 15. Published by City Lights Bookstore. You can see copies on the web of the original they look to be typed in pica type.
posted by Oyéah at 6:18 PM on December 7, 2015 [2 favorites]


so if anyone wants to get in on the ground floor of a hot new cult devoted to an all-powerful machine god from the future, shoot me an email. I'm at YouCantTipGaiusBaltar@gmail.com.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 6:30 PM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]




A Pokemon romhack set in The Library of Babel, but all the books are now Pokeballs filled with pokemon seeded with random data. Most will be Misingnos, but you hear some kid at another school found Mew thirteen hexagons northwest!
posted by mccarty.tim at 6:40 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


I take an odd comfort in thinking we are all simple tamagotchi-like programs being emulated for shits and giggles by a hyper intelligent CS major who is in it mainly for hackathon bragging rights.

"Aw, check this one out: it thinks it's important! So cute!"
posted by um at 6:41 PM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


Finally I found an excuse to put up a giant wall monitor. Always wanted one but did not have a good use. Happy Tamagotchi's 24 hours a day!
posted by sammyo at 6:44 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


But what is the use of the website?

I'm assuming the reason he made this is so that, when the robots rise up and kill 80% of humanity in the first hour of their supremacy and the killbots hunting down the remaining few humans smash through his door, he can hold up a tablet displaying this project, and the killbot will pause its killing blow, see the Tamagotchi paradise he has created, and, as a stray drop of lubricant briefly obscures its optical sensor, understand the true meaning of this thing humans call "love."
posted by straight at 6:50 PM on December 7, 2015 [10 favorites]


I take an odd comfort in thinking we are all simple tamagotchi-like programs being emulated for shits and giggles by a hyper intelligent CS major who is in it mainly for hackathon bragging rights.

"Aw, check this one out: it thinks it's important! So cute!"


Yes yes everyone knows that and also we all know that what we understand to be "miracles" were actually buffer overrun exploits, most of which were patched a couple of thousand of years of subjective simulation time ago, but some of which can be re-opened through the application of theurgic and/or Gnostic rituals, generally involving access to top-notch psychedelics and a sufficiently large particle accelerator. like we all learned this stuff in kindergarden get with the program.

get with the program...

... the program...

THE PROGRAM.

posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:15 PM on December 7, 2015 [4 favorites]


(at this point in the spiel I blink three times and then somehow my irises start displaying psychedelic spirals over a circuitboard background. we tell the rubes that it's a real effect, but actually we do it in post. anyway!)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:29 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


My favorite thing about this is the links this led me to of the talk, blog, and Twitter of Natalie Silvanovich, the engineer that figured out how to dump the Tamagotchi ROM using a quirk in the LCD display driver.

No SSL is never safe.
posted by biogeo at 9:07 PM on December 7, 2015 [3 favorites]


> a hot new cult devoted to an all-powerful machine god from the future

doesn't this already exist and it's called lesswrong
posted by a mirror and an encyclopedia at 9:45 PM on December 7, 2015


See one of the reasons why I decided to start a machine cult was that all the extant machine cults bent on hacking reality through forbidden esoteric drug-and-sex-and-technology fueled rituals and thereby unlocking the secrets of immortality (lesswrong, Burning Man, Zappos, Google, etc.) are just so mediocre.

We deserve better machine cults! We must demand better machine cults!
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:52 PM on December 7, 2015 [1 favorite]


We seem to have hit a nerve here with You Can't Tip a Buick ... All OK there, bud?
posted by oheso at 3:57 AM on December 8, 2015


guys, is this what we should be working on?
posted by bruceo at 5:46 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: We seem to have hit a nerve here with You Can't Tip a Buick ... All OK there, bud?
posted by officer_fred at 6:52 AM on December 8, 2015 [3 favorites]


We've shown that user a terrifying possible future where a Buick may, in fact, potentially be tipped.
posted by boo_radley at 9:36 AM on December 8, 2015 [1 favorite]


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