"We decided to give a significant portion of the proceeds to charity.”
December 9, 2015 7:19 AM   Subscribe

Remember when the Wu Tang Clan decided to sell only one copy of their latest album? And remember when some asshole bought a pharmaceutical company and jacked up the price on a drug by 5,500%? You can probably tell where this is going -- Martin Shkreli was the guy who bought Once Upon a Time in Shaolin.

Need more proof that he's the world's biggest jackwagon? He hasn't listened to the album yet.
posted by Etrigan (187 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
I'm surprised someone hasn't kneecapped that asshole yet.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:21 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


I hate him, SO much... it-it- the f - it -flam - flames. Flames, on the side of my face, breathing-breathl- heaving breaths. Heaving breaths... Heathing...
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:24 AM on December 9, 2015 [81 favorites]


A shame, really, that the complete guest vocal appearance by Cher, of which we've heard only a snippet, will be wasted on him. Or maybe it's entirely fitting.
posted by Cash4Lead at 7:27 AM on December 9, 2015


Well... This doesn't make me hate that abortive homunculus more.
posted by wotsac at 7:27 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


I'm here for the impotent hate orgy. Looks like I'm at the right place.
posted by Dark Messiah at 7:28 AM on December 9, 2015 [41 favorites]


Your 2048 Republican frontrunner.
posted by aaronetc at 7:28 AM on December 9, 2015 [39 favorites]


Shkreli wants more artists to make private albums for him. He figures they could use the money, and he will let them do whatever they want. “It’s almost like the instructions to the band are, ‘Do your best work, however much time it takes, and never compromise anything for me,’ ” he says. “ ‘I just want to hear what you’ve got.’ ”

This has to be the most absurdly self-centered thing I've ever heard.
posted by fifthrider at 7:28 AM on December 9, 2015 [39 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole. I don't hate him, but I think it's generally a bad idea to live one's life in such a way that a cheer would go up if one were, e.g., hit by a bus.
posted by 1adam12 at 7:30 AM on December 9, 2015 [21 favorites]


That's a shame.
posted by OmieWise at 7:30 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


May it fail to bring him happiness.
posted by Artw at 7:31 AM on December 9, 2015 [46 favorites]


This is the purest form of capitalism wed lovingly to the purest form of patriarchy and they will live a long and happy life together.

The universe is purposeless, which we can accept or take for granted. Either way the solace of not being Martin Shkreli is ours and ours alone, not his. He will always be Martin Shkreli. Think about it.
posted by an animate objects at 7:35 AM on December 9, 2015 [56 favorites]


It seems unthinkable that this won't somehow be released widely - either by Shkreli in some kind of bid to seem cool, by someone who gets access to it through Shkreli (such as if he plays it for people), or by the band or someone connected to the band leaking it. In fact, Shkreli would probably be smart to release it for whatever PR value that has rather than let it leak out some other way eventually.

(See also the immediate leak of William Gibson's Aggrippa.)
posted by Mid at 7:36 AM on December 9, 2015


How can anyone hate him? He's the platonic ideal of a capitalist!
posted by aramaic at 7:38 AM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]


If this doesn't raise Ol' Dirty Bastard from the dead, nothing will.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:40 AM on December 9, 2015 [15 favorites]


Who's up for just breaking into his apartment and swiping it?
posted by SansPoint at 7:45 AM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]


Who's up for just breaking into his apartment and swiping it?

Ocean's 14 is just writing itself at this point.
posted by Etrigan at 7:46 AM on December 9, 2015 [48 favorites]


he and his ilk are fucking us each and every day

This is the true nature of capitalism. Look closely at his eyes -- you see your entire society staring back at you.
posted by aramaic at 7:50 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


This is the purest form of capitalism wed lovingly to the purest form of patriarchy and they will live a long and happy life together.

Why patriarchy? Capitalism, sure, but where does gender come into this?
posted by Going To Maine at 7:54 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


Guys just doing what every message from every angle of society is telling him to do : make as much money as humanly possible , by any means possible, and never apologize because making money justifies anything you do.
posted by The Whelk at 7:55 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


He'll sell The Wu-Tang Secret to the highest bidder!
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 7:56 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


He's the Donald Trump of capitalism. Sure they all do and think that shit, but you're supposed to dress it up a little for the public. >
posted by Artw at 7:56 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


Did you know Martin Shkreli livestreams his life? There are plenty of archives too. I have zero patience for watching someone so narcissistic and boring, although I'd love to watch a highlights reel if someone made one. Anyway, he's one seriously weird guy. I wonder if this is what Donald Trump would be if Trump were young? (jinx, Artw.)
posted by Nelson at 7:57 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Is he on-side? Its like he's trying to turn people, as many and as varied as he can, against the rich.
posted by Slackermagee at 7:58 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


I don't know why, exactly, but this guy reminds me of that kid Elliot Rodger. Like, this is who he would have been if he hadn't gotten suicidal.
posted by waitingtoderail at 8:02 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


Shkreli wants more artists to make private albums for him. He figures they could use the money, and he will let them do whatever they want. “It’s almost like the instructions to the band are, ‘Do your best work, however much time it takes, and never compromise anything for me,’ ” he says. “ ‘I just want to hear what you’ve got.’ ”

This is weirdly similar to a plot point in Banks' Against a Dark Background: there had been a fashion for Noble (nobility being available for purchase by the stinking rich) families to commission great works from the artists, philosophers, and scientists of the day to be compiled books that would be kept "unique". No copies would ever be made, no hints as to their contents ever released. IIRC, it's acknowledged that much of the point was the sheer pleasure of the exclusivity, and it's at least implied that many of them were never actually read by their purchasers. In context, and especially given Banks' political leanings, it's pretty obviously meant as an illustration of extreme selfishness and jealousy in a corrupt, dying society; of all his predictions for the future, this isn't on my list of ones I wanted to see come true.
posted by metaBugs at 8:06 AM on December 9, 2015 [14 favorites]


Have any of you listened to the last couple of Wu albums? This isn't the tragedy you think it is. Or rather, it's not a tragedy for the people you think it is.
posted by Kreiger at 8:07 AM on December 9, 2015 [11 favorites]


For a gentler introduction to the mindset powering the Shkreli's of the world: previously. A taste:
a man receives from the free market what he gives to it, his material worth is a running tally of the net benefit that he has provided to his fellow man. A high income is not only justified, but there is nobility to it.
Separately, does "Shkrelis" not sound like it was invented in a comic book to signify a cartoonishly evil race of aliens bent on domination? Skrulls... Ferengi... Shkrelis...
posted by fatbird at 8:09 AM on December 9, 2015


More Shkreli-stalking, he's also active on Reddit. He signed up for his disastrous IAmA interview. Most IAmAs are somewhat managed PR events, the interview subject shows up on Reddit and writes coherent personal replies to Redditor comments with the agenda of promoting themselves or their movie or whatever. Shkreli seems to have just shown up to argue with people, one sentence answers that don't really say anything other than sounding like a young insecure person trying to argue on the Internet.

Now he seems active in /r/wallstreetbets, one of those online forums for people who play at being day traders. His contributions include comments like "yes dumbass" and "you are dumb". He also claims in one post to have been short on AVXL, a competitor's company, which is a little eyebrow-raising.

He sounds pretty nutty. I'm curious how someone with such awkward social presentation got into a position to run a pharma company and spend millions of dollars on an album so no one can hear it. According to Wikipedia he made a pile of money in 2011 with a hedge fund, where he shorted some companies and then tried to publically wreck them with the FDA. The FDA approved their drugs anyway, but he'd cashed out.

(Wikipedia also tells me he is a League of Legends player, and tried to buy one team and then create another to play in the pro eSports circuit. All sorts of weird.)
posted by Nelson at 8:11 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


He purchased Kurt Cobain’s Visa card in a Paddle8 auction and occasionally produces it to get a rise out of people when it’s time to pay a check.

If any rock-and-roll superstars are reading this, I want you to pay close attention. Martin Shkreli is not the first of his kind, nor will he be the last.

So here is what you must do. First, hire an engineer to combine your credit card with a novelty electronic holiday card that sings Christmas carols when you open it. But instead of caroling, it must play your famous riff from your famous song. This needs to happen whenever the credit card is removed from a wallet.

Now here is the crucial part. You must trust the punk rock caroling credit card engineer very much. His silence is paramount. Every year on your birthday, a secret code must be entered into the credit card by secret means.

Twenty years after you die, the credit card will have been auctioned off to a Terrible Future Man. It will have been removed from its new owner's wallet many times to impress people who hate him. "Nothing is more punk rock than a credit card," he will say over and over again. "Now check out this sick riff."

And that is when the secret algorithm kicks in. Twenty-one years after you last entered the secret code by secret means, it no longer plays the famous sick riff. The next time Terrible Future Man removes your credit card from his wallet, there will be a brief silence. Just long enough for him to say, "Why isn't—"

And then he will be interrupted by a sad trombone noise that crossfades into the sound of a wet fart.
posted by compartment at 8:12 AM on December 9, 2015 [40 favorites]


Interesting that Wii Tang Clan is being held blameless in all this. I'm seriously wondering what people thought would happen when a single album was released- did they think it was going to be bought for $19.99 by a homeless rights activist in Detroit?

Sure the guy is a douche, but let's not forget that WTC came up with this idea. This is what they wanted to have happen.
posted by happyroach at 8:15 AM on December 9, 2015 [21 favorites]


The principle is well attested in history. And we can't know of all the time's it's happened successfully, even excluding all the artists and writers who destroyed their own unpublished work, or caused it to be destroyed at their death.

"The Secret Music" is a damn fine title for a book, though.
posted by Devonian at 8:17 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


happyroach: "This is what they wanted to have happen."

Indeed, this seems to me to be Troll meets Troll.
posted by chavenet at 8:18 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]


Shkreli wants more artists to make private albums for him. He figures they could use the money, and he will let them do whatever they want.

Heck, I'll make an album just for him. Martin, give me a call and we'll talk price.
posted by chimaera at 8:19 AM on December 9, 2015


I just you want you all to know that if I get stupendously rich I'm blowing it all on WH40k dioramas.
posted by Artw at 8:23 AM on December 9, 2015 [12 favorites]


So a friend of mine ran into what is either his profile, or a very good parody (the person answered a bunch of questions) on OKCupid. Her immediate response was to nope the fuck out and post a screenshot on facebook. Those who can stomach the watching his streaming life, is he on OKCupid? There was a debate over how real or fake the account was.
posted by Hactar at 8:24 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Didn't someone post themselves telling him to fuck off on Tinder?
posted by Artw at 8:25 AM on December 9, 2015


Wii Tang Clan

I just can't keep up with the latest rhythm games.
posted by biogeo at 8:27 AM on December 9, 2015 [9 favorites]


Your 2048 Republican frontrunner.

Why wait? What are his thoughts on ISIS and Islam? He's a shoe-in as VP for somebody. He has his own insta-celebrity status to bring to the table, if nothing else. He can be this cycle's Sarah Palin!

Anyway, this is only different from hiring a pop band to play your birthday in that WTC hyped this as "the only one" and people thought there's some way I might hear this, where that private birthday party is known to be an exclusive affair that you will never attend.

Shitty? Yes. Uniquely shitty? Not by a long shot.

Anyway, it's not only the uber-rich who hire personal bands - I know a guy who is into unusual music, and he gets together with a few friends to pay artists they like to fly out and play little house shows for them, all for a few thousand dollars.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:32 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


If I owned an album worth $2 million, I'd save it to listen on a special occasion too. But, the very first thing I do would be to back it up in a dozen different locations.

And while it would be satisfying to release it on the internet and share the music with everyone, you don't have to just upload it all as one torrent. Imagine making YouTube playlists of previous RZA albums, but with one song replaced by a track from Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. "hey wtf ur playlist is wrong thats not rza" "Oh, no, that's 'The Pillage of '88'. Like it?"

Or worse, taunt everyone with derived works without the original. Upload a video of yourself, playing with your cat or something, and in the background the audience can hear the $2 million album in another room. Or if you're an artist yourself, use samples of it in a mash-up. Or even: Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, the nightcore remix.
posted by Rangi at 8:38 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


Or karoke it, and release a recording of that.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 8:41 AM on December 9, 2015


Wu Tang: no longer for the children
posted by metaman livingblog at 8:42 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


You gotta give that guy props for going all in on trolling.
posted by ph00dz at 8:43 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


It's extremely amusing to read the comments in the Wu-Tang thread juxtaposed with the comments on this thread.

Who fucking cares? Nobody knows if the record is genius or not. Martin Shkreli has proven to be no one's idea of an arbiter of taste, and the only way a piece of music becomes influential is by being distributed as widely as possible. No one gives a shit about an album that no one has heard. This will get leaked someday, and will probably be disappointing overall.

Let Martin and Wu Tang have their special relationship. They deserve each other.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:43 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I could give two shits about the Wu Tang album - that's almost a red herring in the story here. The reason this is a story is because of what an awful person Shkreli is and how much he enjoys the fact that he is one, and flaunting it in people's faces.

He's a bad person that does bad things with his money and power that actively hurt those without money and power. He's a walking metaphor for the worst parts of rampant unchecked capitalism which at some point crosses the grey lines into outright corruption and oppression.

Hate is not an undeserved emotion for people like this, but it doesn't do anything productive for me personally and won't change the problem at it's root. I choose to just feel bad for him - still might not change him, but it's healthier for me.

He must be a very unhappy person.
posted by allkindsoftime at 8:49 AM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]


I honestly don't get why there's so much effort spent to hate him like this.

relevant
posted by poffin boffin at 8:49 AM on December 9, 2015


This made me laugh and laugh. I hear that if you slather yourself in Axe and steer by his light, you will find Shangri-douche.
posted by Edgewise at 8:50 AM on December 9, 2015 [7 favorites]


Between this guy and Trump's political pontifications, I'm beginning to think we've finally become the Dark Satiric Comic Book Reality.
posted by egypturnash at 9:02 AM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]


Your 2048 Republican frontrunner.

Assuming he first makes it through the 2027, 2032 and 2039 Global Food Riots his investments cause, without ending up as lamppost fodder.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 9:06 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


I honestly don't get why there's so much effort spent to hate him like this.

Partly he's just a caricature of an Evil Capitalist, and Metafilter loves to hate evil capitalists. Doubly so in pharmaceuticals.

But his actions with Daraprim have real consequences on real sick people who need the drug. He bought a monopoly on an essential medication and then proceeded to price-gouge sick people who needed it. His previous career has been profiting by making other drug companies look bad, including trying to disrupt FDA approval of other important life-saving drugs. He is literally harming sick people to make a profit.
posted by Nelson at 9:06 AM on December 9, 2015 [25 favorites]


My fave part of that Bloomberg piece was when he was basically all "hey... Taylor... wanna work out an, uh, arrangement? Call me." What an utter shining fuckbag of a person!
posted by naju at 9:11 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


I honestly don't get why there's so much effort spent to hate him like this.

Most of the people who draw hatred like this can be figured out logicialy. To take an example, there are a great deal of Republicans who honestly believe that their efforts to cut programs for the poor will eventually lead to a better existence for those who are forced to reinvent their lives and strive for something better. I don't quite agree with it and I think it's a lot more complicated than they portray, but I understand where they are coming from.

This guy? He's just an asshole.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 9:11 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Every time I see a photo is Shkreli I am reminded of Alan Cumming in two of his sketchiest roles - Sean Walsh and Saturnius and I am skeeved out anew and pissed about it because Alan Cumming is awesome.

I hope the album sucks. I hope it is the suckiest suck that ever sucked and that Shkreli gets to end of his selfish dude-bro life penniless with the suckiest album ever as his only asset.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 9:18 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Cash Rules Everything Around Him CREAH!
posted by dr_dank at 9:23 AM on December 9, 2015


Did you know Martin Shkreli livestreams his life

image of an empty chair proves he's a phantom -- unless you hate him.
posted by philip-random at 9:26 AM on December 9, 2015


Have any of you listened to the last couple of Wu albums? This isn't the tragedy you think it is. Or rather, it's not a tragedy for the people you think it is.

I seriously hope it's long-ass skits and samples from previous albums over discarded symphonic RZA movie soundtracks.
posted by ignignokt at 9:27 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]


I remember that only from the notable comment he made about being unmarried and childless... He will one day die, likely alone, be talked about one last time, and then be forgotten.

HAHAHAH... SERVES HIM RIGHT! Wait, I'm also unmarried, childless, and will likely die alone and unloved. Dammit. JOKE'S ON NAJU
posted by naju at 9:29 AM on December 9, 2015 [6 favorites]


Naju, why did you sell me a single aspirin for $50
posted by ignignokt at 9:30 AM on December 9, 2015 [11 favorites]


It's actually molly. I'm still gouging you but you'll have a good time.
posted by naju at 9:31 AM on December 9, 2015 [15 favorites]


Is this more or less terrible than artists accepting millions for private performances before ruthless dictators? I'm leaning towards "less terrible", because the money is ultimately going to charity it seems.
posted by T.D. Strange at 9:36 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


“The reality is, sure you could. You know, at the right price these guys basically will do anything.”

Gross
posted by ignignokt at 9:38 AM on December 9, 2015


Partly he's just a caricature of an Evil Capitalist, and Metafilter loves to hate evil capitalists. Doubly so in pharmaceuticals.

Partly, nothing. That’s the whole of it. It’s not like other objectionable rich folks aren’t purchasing (much higher quality) works of art and storing them in exclusive collections.

(I do think there’s an interesting bit of residual outrage at the Wu for making something that’s generally considered to be mass-consumable artwork only available to a single person. Indeed, in many ways that’s still really the core of it. For all that the exclusive Wu re-release was touted as something novel, it was essentially a work-for-hire for the highest bidder.)
posted by Going To Maine at 9:39 AM on December 9, 2015


When he does finally get around to listening to it I bet he bites his bottom lip as he does the funky chicken because he's obviously looking for ways to make me hate him even more

It's much worse than you could ever imagine. He'll slide it out of the sleeve by reaching in deeply, distending the cardboard until the corners are stressed almost to the ripping point, then grab it firmly on the playing surface and pull roughly, static charges zapping the vinyl. He'll rub his unwashed hands over the grooves, even flick then briefly with his fingernail, then leave it sitting on a sticky tabletop for days gathering dust.

When he finally gets around to putting it on the turntable, no dust cloth will be in evidence anywhere. The tone arm is severely unbalanced, and he'll drop the needle, slightly sideways causing a skriiiitch in the speakers. This gibbering hell-suckling animal is too lazy to use the cue lever!
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:46 AM on December 9, 2015 [15 favorites]


He's absolutely brilliant at finding things trading for less than they are worth or can be made to be worth.

Underpriced drugs, obviously, but not just that. Last month he made about $40 million quietly buying up a majority of the stock of a deeply distressed, and heavily shorted, health care startup. When he announced his position, and that he would no longer lend shares to short, the stock increased by 40x over its lows. A dead-simple, elegant play that no one had really thought of doing before.

I'm a market professional but even I can't help but imagine how much a guy like this could contribute to society if society offered geniuses like him a better path to glory.
posted by MattD at 9:58 AM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


Shkreli did us a favor by shining a light on what happens everyday. Its telling we saw no 'Shkreli Act' even be proposed, or regulation change, and instead the extent of the backlash is mean comments about him on the internet.
posted by hermanubis at 9:58 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


Did he really just try a "Wu-Tang and chill" on Taylor Swift?
posted by fiercecupcake at 10:09 AM on December 9, 2015 [12 favorites]


The buying party agrees that Once Upon a Time in Shaolin cannot be commercially exploited, as defined by previously agreed upon language, until the year 2103, although the buying party may release the album at any time for free or play it at listening parties during that time. The buying party also agrees that, at any time during the stipulated 88 year period, the seller may legally plan and execute one (1) heist or caper to steal back Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, which, if successful, would return all ownership rights to the seller. Said heist or caper can only be undertaken by currently active members of the Wu Tang Clan and/or actor Bill Murray, with no legal repercussions.
posted by Etrigan at 10:17 AM on December 9, 2015 [31 favorites]


Martin Shkreli is a horrible fucker, yet Wu-Tang Clan ain't nothing to fuck with. The cognitive dissonance is hurting my head.
posted by Metroid Baby at 10:19 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Shkreli wants more artists to make private albums for him. He figures they could use the money, and he will let them do whatever they want.

I'm looking forward to him ponying up for my meisterwork 'Shkreli Is A Wanker (Na, Na, Na, Na)'
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:29 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Also this is like a later Gibson sub plot come to life
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 10:31 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


That GUY. Never was a face more in want of a fist.
posted by thebrokedown at 10:38 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Well






Bless your heart
posted by Sebmojo at 10:56 AM on December 9, 2015 [4 favorites]


Last month he made about $40 million

Here's an article about that play. The company is KaloBios $KBIO, and he basically managed to engineer a short squeeze and ride it up from $1 to $30+ against the shorts who got caught. Prior to the play the whole company was worth as little as $2M.

It's clever in that he found a company in such bad shape that was still on NASDAQ with short positions that he could catch. But it's not unprecedented, is it? Anyway yet another "evil capitalist" merit badge. At least in this case he's only directly harming other traders, not sick people. He's also clever in using Twitter to help carry out his plans. I wonder how good a lawyer he has.
posted by Nelson at 10:56 AM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


I don't think the caper contract is true but god I wish it were, and then we'd get a film of it.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:57 AM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


I don't think the caper contract is true but god I wish it were, and then we'd get a film of it.

It can't really be true but man I hope it is.
posted by graventy at 11:19 AM on December 9, 2015


I understand where they are coming from.

Er...where are they coming from? I mean, is it somewhere other than pure self-interest and complete lack of any ability to empathize with human beings unlike themselves? Help me out here.
posted by holborne at 11:23 AM on December 9, 2015


I hope the caper involves Bill Murray inviting him for a private one-time screening of his new movie, and only slowly does it dawn on him that everyone looks familiar and wait no this isn't filmed it's a live stream of the Wu-Tang (and Bill Murray) breaking into his place and stealing Once Upon a Time in Shaolin. He tries to get out, to call the authorities, but the door is locked and all cell and wifi signals are blocked (as stipulated in the contract for the screening).

True to his word, Bill Murray never releases the video, but the reaction video is plastered all over youtube and becomes an instant viral sensation.
posted by ckape at 11:45 AM on December 9, 2015 [10 favorites]



He hasn’t listened to Once Upon a Time in Shaolin yet. He’s saving that for a time when he’s feeling low and needs something to lift his spirits. “I could be convinced to listen to it earlier if Taylor Swift wants to hear it or something like that,” Shkreli says.

I would call him bad names, but I think this statement makes up my mind that he's so deluded beyond hope that I'd be ashamed of myself for being mean. I won't go so far as to say he has a mental illness or personality disorder as diagnosing those aren't what I'm in training to do, but there's something really, really wrong with him and there's no hope for him.

His actions and temperament lead me to believe that he desperately wants attention, connection, and love, but he thinks what a lot of frustrated and superficial guys who have problems really connecting with others think: people will be impressed by him for his money and that they'll genuinely respect and like him once he can lure the right people to him.

And gosh he doesn't realize that the puffery, expensive toys, bragging behavior that earned respect from douchebros on Wall Street, doesn't impress women who have genuinely good men in their families and lives (and it definitely wouldn't impress or lure in a superwealthy, successful, and accomplished person like Swift, especially because shevisits sick and terminal kids in hospitals once a week when not on tour, AND donates money directly to families whose children have to undergo very expensive medical treatment (including to one of her dancers whose nephew has a serious illness) . She would likely think Martin Shkreli was a massive POS.

Jeez this guy is so far gone. But he's a great example to many men of how foolish and gross even rich men look when they prize logic and pseudo intellectualism and selfishness and don't develop or practice empathy and compassion. And how foolish, stupid, and immature twitter/social media tantrums make someone look.
posted by discopolo at 12:02 PM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]


The best part of not being rich is, your social circle isn't other rich people.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:17 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]


The Bill Murray/Wu-Tang connection isn't entirely random.
posted by A dead Quaker at 12:23 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Were I a braver sort, I might cheekily imply that I may or may not have a certain piece of embarrassing and/or incriminating information that this fellow and his shareholders would certainly not want seeing the light of day, and for a mere pittance of fifty thousand dollars or so I would promise to never release this hypothetical information if I had it, and further to never disclose having received such payment. Sure, I'd probably be bluffing, but what's a little pocket change in exchange for peace of mind?

Note: The above is nothing more than a joke. I have no insider connections to this guy and certainly don't know what he might have done at a party once. Please do not memail me for my PayPal address for the misguided purpose of attempting to suppress this information that I do not actually have. Or even for the purpose of making a surprisingly large donation in appreciation of my attempts at bizarre MetaFilter humor. I don't need that kind of intrigue in my life.
posted by NMcCoy at 12:54 PM on December 9, 2015


I'm not sure I needed to know what Jean-Ralphio Saperstein would be like with slightly better business savvy, but here we are.
posted by nonasuch at 1:26 PM on December 9, 2015 [12 favorites]


> "The buying party also agrees that, at any time during the stipulated 88 year period, the seller may legally plan and execute one (1) heist or caper to steal back Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, which, if successful, would return all ownership rights to the seller."

I immediately hit this post Ctrl+F'ing for "steal," "heist," etc. and am: (a) surprised/upset no MeFites suggested anything of the sort; (b) relieved that Wu-Tang still ain't nuthin' ta fuck wit; and (c) excited about competing against the Wu and other pirate-ninja crews in Cannonball Run 2015: Secrets of the Shaolin.

See you within 88 years, Martin.
posted by Johann Georg Faust at 1:44 PM on December 9, 2015


What I don't get is why in the first link, Mefites were commenting on what a brilliant idea of Wu Tang Clan this was.
Yet even there, people were joking that it would be someone like Mark Zuckerberg who'd buy the thing.
But now everyone's spitting nails because it turns out the buyer's Shkreli?
posted by Omnomnom at 1:52 PM on December 9, 2015


So a friend of mine ran into what is either his profile, or a very good parody (the person answered a bunch of questions) on OKCupid. Her immediate response was to nope the fuck out and post a screenshot on facebook. Those who can stomach the watching his streaming life, is he on OKCupid? There was a debate over how real or fake the account was.

meaganrosae posted up a bunch of screenshots of his OKCupid account today!

(Most damning: "If you were going to have a child, would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you?" He answered yes.)
posted by naju at 2:01 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


The best part of not being rich is, your social circle isn't other rich people.

I've known lots of poor assholes too; they just can't do as much damage as the rich ones. This guy is trying his best to prove money can buy everything and is succeeding more than most people will be comfortable with.
posted by cardboard at 2:03 PM on December 9, 2015


But now everyone's spitting nails because it turns out the buyer's Shkreli?

The Hivemind is large. It contains multitudes.
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:24 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


Ignore him. He loves the attention. Just because the troll has taken physical form doesn't mean we need to treat him any different than we do internet trolls.
posted by downtohisturtles at 2:43 PM on December 9, 2015


> Ignore him. He loves the attention. Just because the troll has taken physical form doesn't mean we need to treat him any different than we do internet trolls.

One advantage of having a giant pile of unearned wealth is that it can be used to force people to pay attention to you — for example, you can hire PR people to place stories about you in media outlets that people already pay attention to.

In fact, in practical terms you don't even have to do that, since as a holder of a giant pile of wealth people are naturally incentivized to pay attention to you and your desires, no matter how stupid or ridiculous or obnoxious. Despite Paul Anka's guarantee, "just don't look" is a strategy that would only work in a post-capitalist society.

also: Martin Shkreli is the Donald Trump of capitalism, Donald Trump is the Damien Hirst of reality television, and Damien Hirst is the Martin Shkreli of the art world.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 2:52 PM on December 9, 2015 [5 favorites]


Shkreli wants more artists to make private albums for him. He figures they could use the money, and he will let them do whatever they want. “It’s almost like the instructions to the band are, ‘Do your best work, however much time it takes, and never compromise anything for me,’ ” he says. “ ‘I just want to hear what you’ve got.’ ”

This has to be the most absurdly self-centered thing I've ever heard.

Um, I'm a starving composer, classically trained. I would do this in a heartbeat. Like half a heartbeat. Like y'all have no idea. Here's part of an anecdote from the late American composer John Cage:
One day while I was composing, the telephone rang. A lady's voice said, "Is this John Cage, the
percussion composer?" I said, "Yes." She said, "This is the J. Walter Thompson Company." I
didn't know what that was, but she explained that their business was advertising. She said, "Hold
on. One of our directors wants to speak to you." During a pause my mind went back to my
composition. Then suddenly a man's voice said, "Mr. Cage, are you willing to prostitute your
art?" I said, "Yes." He said, "Well, bring us some samples Friday at two." I did ...
The key to this anecdote as Cage tells it is how quickly the "yes" came when asked to prostitute his art.

Yes.

Here's another quote from Cage (basically all my composer quotes come from him):
Like most other composers, Schoenberg had more or less constant money problems. The thought arises whether these are not the true subject of music.
Is this guy an evil stinking capitalist pig bastard asshole fucknut? Yes. If he is willing to pay me $50,000 (or whatever -- I'm actually far, far cheaper than that) for a single album's worth of material that is forever only for his ears would I do it. Yes.

Think of me what you will. But given that he would let me do whatever I wanted (as opposed to the few commissions I've had where I have to write something I know the client will like) this seems like a very good deal.
posted by bfootdav at 2:52 PM on December 9, 2015 [8 favorites]


It's a very good deal and I would do it in a heartbeat. And he's absurdly self-centered for it.
posted by naju at 3:15 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


I'm certain that 2015 is our collective Gas Leak Season. Come on, new year's.
posted by jbickers at 3:28 PM on December 9, 2015 [2 favorites]


I really wanted the heist thing to be real, but the text of the agreement is not available anywhere, and I can't find a source that's not that image from the tweet.
posted by Sibrax at 3:45 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


If he is willing to pay me $50,000 (or whatever -- I'm actually far, far cheaper than that) for a single album's worth of material that is forever only for his ears would I do it. Yes.

I'm a musician with a preference for a not-lucrative genre (just kidding! none of them are lucrative!). Like most of my better-known and more-successful compatriots, I have a day job. I would tell this ass-clown to fuck off. However, I might be convinced to advertise the fact that I told this ass-clown to fuck off in order to get some visibility.

Were this an interesting tack towards art appreciation (like, say, with listening sessions for people to hear the art that is only reproduced one time, or Napalm Death's cancelled gig that would have used exploding ceramic tiles as the speakers) I might be convinced. As this is just a shiny bauble in a philistine's collection for him to show off as a disdainful display of material wealth, I'd say fuck that son.
posted by Existential Dread at 3:55 PM on December 9, 2015


I'm a musician with a preference for a not-lucrative genre (just kidding! none of them are lucrative!). Like most of my better-known and more-successful compatriots, I have a day job.

Yep, not relying on music as one's sole source of income (or making enough from music otherwise to be comfortable) affords one the ability to be selective in cases like this.

So yeah, I'm still in.

It's a very good deal and I would do it in a heartbeat. And he's absurdly self-centered for it.

Yep and yep. It's funny, though, while I retained the rights to the commissions I did I haven't published them. They're really not representative of my style and I don't want people to associate them with me. So practically they do just exist for the individuals who commissioned them. See? Now I've managed to find yet another way to accept dude's money without a guilty conscience!
posted by bfootdav at 4:04 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Shkreli: "a man receives from the free market what he gives to it, his material worth is a running tally of the net benefit that he has provided to his fellow man"

A monopoly on a lifesaving drug is the opposite of a free market.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:52 PM on December 9, 2015


monopoly is the end point of capitalism, the telos of capitalism, the completion of capitalist processes.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 5:58 PM on December 9, 2015 [3 favorites]


I have a custom album project for this guy.

Spoiler: It involves hiring a couple of professional boxers to punch him in the face many times, and me recording the sound of that. Then, I burn the audio onto a single flash drive, which is hand-delivered by a messenger in steel-toed boots who kicks him in the crotch, hard.

Sort of a conceptual piece, I guess.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 7:26 PM on December 9, 2015


Like most Americans, I have it in the back of my head that I will someday, somehow, be fabulously wealthy. I look to Shkreli as an example of how not to be when that eventuality occurs.
posted by davelog at 8:42 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


This is truly the least I could do

http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/killerbees
posted by AAALASTAIR at 9:19 PM on December 9, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wu-Tang needs to "accidentally" leak the whole album. Yesterday.
posted by zardoz at 11:27 PM on December 9, 2015


http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/killerbees

"Sorry about your 88 bee stings. Unfortunately, doses of Benadryl will cost $36,000 a pill."
posted by a lungful of dragon at 12:53 AM on December 10, 2015


Martin Shkreli and Vladimir Putin are the closest thing the world has to Bond villains.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:16 AM on December 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


Braggart
posted by zakur at 6:52 AM on December 10, 2015


I immediately hit this post Ctrl+F'ing for "steal," "heist," etc. and am: (a) surprised/upset no MeFites suggested anything of the sort

Well, the heist clause reads (to not-a-lawyer me) as applying only to Wu Tang Clan themselves. As in, it's legal for them to steal it back but it's not legal for us to steal it away. So unless you were expecting an overlap of Wu members and metafilter members, any propositions in this thread wouldn't be covered. I guess maybe Wu could hire some of us as help and that'd be legit?

I would like to see another source for that clause though, because last night I had a dream about Wu Tang Clan successfully stealing back this album and it was glorious.
posted by dogwalker at 8:17 AM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


Wu-Tang needs to "accidentally" leak the whole album. Yesterday.

Why would they do that, and deprive the Leverage team the fun?
posted by happyroach at 9:04 AM on December 10, 2015


okay so I have a concrete proposal for electoral reform in America (bear with me for a second):

Instead of three branches, we should have four: the legislative branch, that writes law, the executive branch, that carries out law, the judicial branch, that rules on questions of law, and the Shaolin branch, consisting solely of the members of the Wu Tang Clan and also Bill Murray, which at any time can take over the duties of any of the other branches by staging a successful heist.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:47 PM on December 10, 2015 [6 favorites]


the Shaolin branch, consisting solely of the members of the Wu Tang Clan and also Bill Murray, which at any time can take over the duties of any of the other branches by staging a successful heist.

Add in Nicolas Cage and you've got yourself a deal.
posted by Etrigan at 12:56 PM on December 10, 2015 [2 favorites]


But wait -- does the taken-over branch become the Shaolin branch? Because I don't think I want Paul Ryan running the Wu Tang Clan, and I know I don't want to hear Antonin Scalia's opinion on the new Ghostbusters movie.
posted by Etrigan at 1:08 PM on December 10, 2015


the taken over branch doesn't become anything. they stand and watch the Shaolin branch do as they please. The smarter of the members of the taken-over branch will realize that they should make better decisions in the future with regard to who they fuck with.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 1:14 PM on December 10, 2015 [4 favorites]


I just you want you all to know that if I get stupendously rich I'm blowing it all on WH40k dioramas.
posted by Artw at 11:23 AM on December 9 [12 favorites +] [!]



I honestly read this as WD40 and thought you were discussing aerosol lubricants.
posted by 4ster at 4:54 PM on December 10, 2015 [1 favorite]


Guys it's ok, Chuck Tingles is on this.
posted by bibliowench at 8:05 AM on December 11, 2015 [3 favorites]


It begins....
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:22 AM on December 11, 2015 [5 favorites]




I'm just imagining that phone call:

"Oh hey RZA, what's up.
"Well I don't think that's a good idea.
"It's not that, it just doesn't seem like there'd be any challenge in it.
"Because I already grabbed it last night and it's sitting right here."
posted by ckape at 2:47 PM on December 11, 2015 [3 favorites]


Not true :(
posted by dogwalker at 4:45 PM on December 11, 2015 [1 favorite]


Since he loves exclusive experiences so much, I do have this wall which, for the right fee, he can be the first up against.
posted by ckape at 6:47 PM on December 11, 2015 [1 favorite]


Martin Shkreli’s Latest Plan to Sharply Raise Drug Price Prompts Outcry. Not the other drug price gouging; this one is benznidazole, a drug he's trying to get US approval for to treat Chagas Disease. And then sell it for 1000x the going price in Latin America. The disease affects very few people in the United States so drug companies never bothered to get US approval. The company in question is KaloBios, discussed above; I'd characterized his purchase of that company as a simple short squeeze but there may be more going on. There's also an FDA incentive program that is possibly being exploited.
posted by Nelson at 11:02 AM on December 13, 2015






So we live in a world in which the arrest for securities fraud of a former TV intern turned HIV-treating drug profiteer has opened the door for the best rap group of all time and one of the finest comedic actors of his generation to team up and perform a heist to retrieve the sole copy of that rap group's most recent album, which sold for $2 million. That is all real and true, what I just said.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:38 AM on December 17, 2015 [9 favorites]


All except for the part where the rap group and comedic actor could perform this heist legally. So that part doesn't seem likely to happen.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 6:15 AM on December 17, 2015 [1 favorite]


The downside of consulting with Wu Tang Financial.
posted by tonycpsu at 6:24 AM on December 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Mr.Encyclopedia: "All except for the part where the rap group and comedic actor could perform this heist legally."

I didn't say they could do it legally.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:25 AM on December 17, 2015


SEC Ain't Nothing Ta Fuck Wit
posted by tonycpsu at 6:27 AM on December 17, 2015 [11 favorites]




I'd say the Bill Murray heist plan has a much better chance of success.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:52 AM on December 17, 2015


See, this is what you get for not diversifying your bonds.
posted by Etrigan at 8:59 AM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Federal authorities could seize the album and other personal property if they can’t otherwise recover his ill-gotten gains.

Flash forward a year: someone with access to the FBI personal property room (or whatever) sneaks in with a laptop, rips the 2 CDs*, and passes the files around to friends, and thus the album leaks out to the world and no one has to pay $30-50 to hear it on a museum tour, as was the original plan. Information Overpriced music wants to be free.

* Or 1 DVD or whatever it is that holds 128 minutes of music, in 31 songs.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:28 AM on December 17, 2015 [1 favorite]




The US Attorney in charge of this? Robert Capers.
posted by dinty_moore at 10:15 AM on December 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


Ahhh, Gawker. You know exactly what trashy news I feel good about consuming.
posted by rorgy at 10:26 AM on December 17, 2015


Just wanna point out that this pig was arrested for breaking the rules of capitalism; not for artificially and grossly inflating the price of a life-saving drug. I mean, I got a lot of satisfaction out of seeing him looking glum in handcuffs, too, but the reason why he was arrested matters. It wasn't for screwing the poor, but for screwing the rich. The system is still broken.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 10:58 AM on December 17, 2015 [16 favorites]


From the Newsweek article:

"Some of these [transactions] were so complex that they would put to shame the financial magicians at Enron."

Yowza.
posted by Melismata at 11:06 AM on December 17, 2015


How do people read Newsweek articles? As someone whom the site consistently thinks has used up his quota despite never having visited, I really want to know.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:37 AM on December 17, 2015 [5 favorites]


I mean, I got a lot of satisfaction out of seeing him looking glum in handcuffs, too, but the reason why he was arrested matters. It wasn't for screwing the poor, but for screwing the rich. The system is still broken.

The reason he was arrested is because he committed a crime. Frankly, if the law let us arrest people for being jerks I’d be way more concerned about the country.

(If the law demanded mandatory price caps on certain medicines? Well, I’m not an economist, so don’t want to comment. But Shkreli wouldn’t have done something so obviously illegal, so he wouldn’t be getting arrested for that anyway.)
posted by Going To Maine at 11:42 AM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


The US Attorney in charge of this? Robert Capers.

Okay, now I'm starting to believe that either the contract wasn't a fake after all and the plan is going perfectly, or divine irony is a thing that really exists.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:48 AM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


The reason he was arrested is because he comitted a crime. If the law let us arrest people for being jerks I’d be way more concerned about the country.

He commited a non-violent financial crime against financiers. Making life-saving drugs more difficult or impossible to get goes well beyond that, in my opinion, and is also more than just being a "jerk".
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 11:55 AM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Making life-saving drugs more difficult or impossible to get goes well beyond that, in my opinion, and is also more than just being a “jerk”.

I mean, being a horrible asshole? It’s certainly still a non-violent crime. But I think what I was really trying to get at is that, if that sort of blatant manipulation were outright illegal (which would probably be good), Shkreli still wouldn’t be going to jail for it, because he just wouldn’t have marked up the cost. Fraud, in contrast, requires lying and misrepresentation.

(Relatedly, though perhaps it’s old ground: if people are insured or on medicaid, I would think that it’s a “crime” against the government or insurers, since they -and us- would be paying for it. Some folks are obviously not insured, and they, of course, would suffer heavily.)
posted by Going To Maine at 12:13 PM on December 17, 2015


Alright, but just to be clear here, I'm not saying he shouldn't have been arrested on these charges. My grievance, idealistic though it may be, is that the system gives plenty of legal sway to screw the poor but is pretty tenacious about defending the rich. I'm not making a legal argument here but an ethical one.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 12:27 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I hope the jailhouse commissary raises prices on toilet paper from 10¢ a roll to $500, just for him.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:55 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]




Shkreli not only livestreamed his computer 24/7, he was flagrantly unworried about the insanely creepy things he did while on that livestream.

The dude is literally Reddit manifested in human form:

— rich thanks to sociopathy
— thinks lulz justify wrongdoing
— awful at treating women like human beings
— terrible hair
posted by rorgy at 1:28 PM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


@NewYorkFBI: "#Breaking no seizure warrant at the arrest of Martin Shkreli today, which means we didn't seize the Wu-Tang Clan album."
posted by rorgy at 1:35 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


@NewYorkFBI: "#Breaking no seizure warrant at the arrest of Martin Shkreli today, which means we didn't seize the Wu-Tang Clan album."

Neil Caffrey adjusts his hat to a jaunty angle and walks away, whistling an unfamiliar tune...
posted by Etrigan at 1:38 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I hope the jailhouse commissary raises prices on toilet paper from 10¢ a roll to $500, just for him.

Shkreli out on $5M bond after court hearing
posted by Going To Maine at 1:40 PM on December 17, 2015


Neil Caffrey adjusts his hat to a jaunty angle and walks away, whistling an unfamiliar tune...

Oh man if this had happened three years ago there would absolutely be a White Collar episode where Neil and Mozzie convincingly fake a lost rap album.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:49 PM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


Hey Martin why don't you come over to my house and we'll see who can beat who up. I'm in high school, promise.
posted by allkindsoftime at 1:56 PM on December 17, 2015


best christmas ever
posted by Hoopo at 2:02 PM on December 17, 2015


Shkreli out on $5M bond after court hearing

That sucks. That asshole is a flight risk if anyone is. They've seized his passport, but that doesn't mean much when you have stacks of cash and access to private jets.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:50 PM on December 17, 2015


Martin Shkreli Accused of Being Surprisingly Good at Fraud: a summary of the alleged frauds, plus an observation that according to the accusations he may have actually generated a real profit for his investors.
posted by Nelson at 3:21 PM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


HipHopDX: Martin Shkreli Plans To Bail-Out Bobby Shmurda. Extensive interview published yesterday (!) including a "simmering conflict" with Wu-Tang. And lots of remarkable commentary on the hip-hop scene. Also "I’m the most successful Albanian to ever walk the face of this Earth."

Have to say, the guy gives a great interview.
posted by Nelson at 3:30 PM on December 17, 2015


To say the stiff-arm did not sit well with Shkreli is an understatement. “I felt insulted,” he tells HipHopDX in this exclusive conversation. “If I hand you $2 million, fucking show me some respect. At least have the decency to say nothing or ‘no comment.’”

lol its always about buying validation with these shitbuckets innit
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:35 PM on December 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I mean, hip-hop is probably the current genre of music most concerned with conspicuous consumption…
posted by Going To Maine at 3:41 PM on December 17, 2015


I did him a fucking favor and I expected him to go out there and say, “Well, Mr. Shkreli, he’s not such a bad guy. He’s being misunderstood” as opposed to, “We didn’t know this before his business practices came to light.” What the fuck does that mean? Fucking defend me. I didn’t pay you $2 million to talk shit about me.

Exactly, asshole. You paid $2 million dollars for an album.

If you didn't want the Wu tang Clan to talk shit about you, maybe you should have contracted for that. That's what you libertarian free market fuckwits are all about, right? Fee for service?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:44 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


They want to own people, basically.
posted by Artw at 3:46 PM on December 17, 2015


They want to own people, basically.

Yep. What a total sociopath.

I hope Wu Tang break into his now-empty house, steal the album back (as provided for in the contract of sale) and put it up on Pirate Bay. That would be a superb 'Fuck You'.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:48 PM on December 17, 2015


Lawyer for Martin Shkreli Hikes Fees Five Thousand Per Cent

Hilariously, his lawyer is also under arrest, for wire fraud.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:51 PM on December 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I hope Wu Tang break into his now-empty house, steal the album back (as provided for in the contract of sale)

I find it fascinating how people keep mentioning this as if it's real! It was an obvious joke (started by a friend of a friend), and it went viral and a bunch of places picked up and reported on it as if it were true, for the clicks and whatnot. Really weird how this thing has spread. But yeah, it's not real.
posted by naju at 4:29 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I find it fascinating how people keep mentioning this as if it's real!

I WANT TO BELIEVE
posted by Aznable at 4:47 PM on December 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I find it fascinating how people keep mentioning this as if it's real! It was an obvious joke

Oh, well, that's disappointing. But really, in this story, it's not even close to the least believable thing.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 4:48 PM on December 17, 2015 [2 favorites]


But yeah, it's not real.

RUINER STOP RUINING
posted by poffin boffin at 4:49 PM on December 17, 2015 [7 favorites]


Yeah, at this point I would not be surprised to hear Bill Murray is planning to steal the album because he saw something online about it and thought it sounded fun.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:05 PM on December 17, 2015 [3 favorites]


I mean, I know it's a hoax, but at the same time, the prosecutor is named Capers!
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:06 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


I heard his mother's maiden name was Hijinks
posted by poffin boffin at 5:09 PM on December 17, 2015 [4 favorites]


"He’s not facing federal prosecution for his gaudy, greedy philosophy of the pharmaceutical price point. In the mobbed-up world of medication for profit, there are no penalties for milking the final dime from a desperately sick patient’s cash reserves. No, that’s the glorious rent-seeking genius of our free-enterprise medical system, even after the socialist apparatchiks of the Obamacare regime got their grubby mitts on it."

The Martin Shkreli schadenfreude will pass when he wins like every other CEO

posted by Mister Bijou at 2:22 AM on December 18, 2015 [3 favorites]


The first time I became aware of Shkreli was just pictures in my newsfeed - I didn't drill down and read the articles, I just saw this guy's face a couple times, and honestly my first thought was that it was a story about a blind guy.

Because, those eyes. He doesn't actually focus on anything, like many blind people I've known. He points his eyes at people talking to him, yes. If you talk about a building on the right he will turn right and point his eyes at it, but you don't really get the sense that he's seeing it.

Or he is, he's just seeing things in an utterly alien, unguessable context.

He creeps me out in a seriously bad way that has nothing to do with him being a jerk.
posted by sidereal at 4:25 AM on December 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


The poor eye-contact thing is also prevalent in people on the autistic spectrum, but I personally hadn't noticed that about him. To me he just has the perpetual smirk of the terminally self-satisfied.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:32 AM on December 18, 2015


Martin Shkreli Resigns From Turing Pharmaceuticals. Detailed article, contains much juicy insider info from a Turing investor who just threw Shkreli under a bus.
“This company deserves some competent, full-time, mature, not crazy, management,’’ the investor said.
posted by Nelson at 1:20 PM on December 18, 2015


On the subject of who Shkreli is like: he reminds me very, very strongly of Kilgrave from Jessica Jones.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:53 PM on December 18, 2015


Legal or not, I would like to think you'll have a tough time finding a jury that would convict Bill Murray and the Wu-Tang clan of stealing from Martin Shkreli.
posted by ckape at 6:00 PM on December 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


@MartinShkreli: “I’m from Brooklyn. I don't think most of you all understand the significance of this. Think on that.”

If anyone understands the significance of that, please explain.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:54 PM on December 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


That he thinks he's tough.
posted by Etrigan at 7:27 PM on December 18, 2015 [1 favorite]


LOL
posted by Artw at 7:40 PM on December 18, 2015


See, I would have assumed that meant he has an artisanal peanut butter business, rock band, and/or hasidic Jewish family to fall back on.
posted by Going To Maine at 8:18 PM on December 18, 2015 [4 favorites]


Vanity Fair: Everything You Know About Martin Shkreli Is Wrong—or Is It?. Despite having an interview with Shkreli it's a remarkably bland article, but does cover his full life's story competently.
posted by Nelson at 7:20 AM on December 19, 2015 [2 favorites]


/reads "I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but I liken myself to the robber barons.”, closes browser window.
posted by Artw at 8:15 AM on December 19, 2015 [1 favorite]


How do people read Newsweek articles? As someone whom the site consistently thinks has used up his quota despite never having visited, I really want to know.

To shamelessly plug, I’ve followed my wailing to the community with an AskMe. If you know how to read Newsweek on your computer, please reveal your secrets.
posted by Going To Maine at 1:56 PM on December 19, 2015


@MartinShkreli: Giving away WUTANG album RT for a chance to win
posted by honestcoyote at 11:14 AM on December 20, 2015


Ha! He's been hacked.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:14 PM on December 20, 2015


Not just Twitter, his Reddit and Youtube accounts too. Or else he's gone nuts. Either way I can't be bothered to care much.
posted by Nelson at 6:23 PM on December 20, 2015


Definitely been hacked. The 'chat shit get banged' tweet is a clear indicator, it's calling back to a famous (if you follow English soccer) tweet from the player du jour, Jamie Vardy, before he got famous. If that makes sense.
posted by Pink Frost at 7:19 PM on December 20, 2015


He seems to have his Twitter account back, the dumb tweets were deleted. He's also posted a new video to his YouTube account but there's still some vandalism visible there.

Meanwhile... ‘Pharma bro’ Martin Shkreli ousted from another drug company. "On Monday, the publicly traded KaloBios Pharmaceuticals announced that Shkreli was out as chief executive and had resigned from the company's board."
posted by Nelson at 8:38 AM on December 21, 2015


If he was born just a couple years earlier, he could be Trump's running mate. The sheer levels of delusional smug would cause them to lock into orbit before soon colliding and imploding.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 9:05 AM on December 21, 2015 [1 favorite]


For people still following, a twitter/reddit user CutieJewliani announced that they had the album and were going to leak it today. It had some amount of coverage.

The release was on soundcloud, but appears to have been deleted.

Here is a summary. Though, you could probably gather that from the twitter feed.
posted by lkc at 1:23 AM on December 23, 2015


To save you the time: it was all just a troll. Avoid shitlords.
posted by Nelson at 6:35 AM on December 23, 2015 [2 favorites]


KaloBios files for bankruptcy
posted by Etrigan at 8:08 AM on December 30, 2015


What a Trump.
posted by Artw at 8:10 AM on December 30, 2015


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