And a fourth one, le'Mehadrin, for Chinese food

December 11, 2015 3:25 AM

So it's Chanukah. Time to ask that age-old question: Do Jews have trash cans in their kitchen?
posted by Mchelly (33 comments total)

Disappointed in Reddit that I had to scroll down two pages to get to the first Moishe Oofnick joke!
posted by escabeche at 3:28 AM on December 11, 2015 [7 favorites]

To be fair, Moishe Oofnik lives in an outdoor trash can.
posted by Mchelly at 3:34 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Everyone knows that really observant jews keep three trash cans, one for dairy, one for meat, and one for trayf.
posted by leotrotsky at 3:37 AM on December 11, 2015 [10 favorites]

Oh great, a new way to feel guilty
posted by oceanjesse at 3:49 AM on December 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

"This one is the trash can I use, and this one is the trash can I would never use."
posted by escabeche at 3:57 AM on December 11, 2015 [14 favorites]

This is perfect, all the goyem and half of the orthodox will never know if this is a joke or not. And even better, the other half of the orthodox won't guess which half it is.
posted by sammyo at 4:06 AM on December 11, 2015 [13 favorites]

So...are you going to make me ask?
posted by Literaryhero at 4:33 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

There are trash cans in the kitchens at work, but judging by the number of empty paper coffee cups there are on the counter around 10am, it may be against some of my Israeli coworkers' religious beliefs to use them.
posted by wotsac at 4:44 AM on December 11, 2015 [6 favorites]

It's true. I don't have a trash can, I have a simplehuman.
posted by zombieflanders at 5:10 AM on December 11, 2015

I would like to know what the Talmud says about recycling bins. If a thing will ultimately be re-used, can it be called trash? And should its receptacle be considered a trash bin?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:12 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

They truly are the chosen people.
posted by town of cats at 5:20 AM on December 11, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's all covered in the part of Leviticus that didn't make it into the Christian bible because the goyim couldn't even.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:28 AM on December 11, 2015 [8 favorites]

The line between our kitchen and living room is unclear, so we got some rabbis to demarcate an eruv in our loft and now we can put the trash can anywhere.
posted by thetortoise at 5:48 AM on December 11, 2015 [24 favorites]

This is perfect, all the goyem and half of the orthodox will never know if this is a joke or not.

See, as a goy, I had thought this was a joke the whole time but now I don't know why the orthodox wouldn't know whether this is a joke or not so now I'm confused.
posted by bracems at 5:49 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Also, for those who are wondering, in a Muslim household, using a trash can is considered mustahabb (recommended), although many imams argue that the use of trash bags is haram, because the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) did not use them.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:50 AM on December 11, 2015 [11 favorites]

I find that the golem that lives in our cupboard does the work of a trash can and a dishwasher.
posted by dr_dank at 6:24 AM on December 11, 2015 [6 favorites]

Of course we do. Except rabbis. They have 'drash cans.
posted by ubiquity at 6:40 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

I find that the golem that lives in our cupboard does the work of a trash can and a dishwasher.

♫ Golem, Golem, Golem, I made you out of clay!
And when you're dry and ready, then they all shall pay! ♫
posted by leotrotsky at 6:54 AM on December 11, 2015 [23 favorites]

I keep 7 trash cans buried and rotate them out every year.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:20 AM on December 11, 2015 [3 favorites]

As a Christian, I just throw my scraps on the kitchen floor for the pigs to eat.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:23 AM on December 11, 2015 [20 favorites]

Speaking as an orthodox Christian, assuming your kitchen trash was anointed with holy oil and blessed by an archbishop during any time other than Lent, it's fine. But I can only speak for my own diocese which is overseen by a different apostolic See than the rest of the churches in my country since the schism of 1373. I have literally not the first clue what the rest of those heathens do.
posted by town of cats at 7:37 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm a Unitarian. We have a bin for recycling and a bin for compost, and one marked "landfill," and we send our kids to a six week course on how to use them ethically.
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:44 AM on December 11, 2015 [25 favorites]

I'm also a Unitarian, and while I don't do that, I respect your free and responsible search for truth and meaning in trash management.
posted by Panjandrum at 7:55 AM on December 11, 2015 [27 favorites]

Oh great, a new way to feel guilty

and when was the last time you called your mother
posted by poffin boffin at 7:56 AM on December 11, 2015 [6 favorites]

As a pantheist, I see no garbage: only the divine that is all things.

As for the smell, however...
posted by Xavier Xavier at 7:58 AM on December 11, 2015

This must be what video game discussions look like to non-gamers.
posted by Shutter at 8:11 AM on December 11, 2015 [7 favorites]

Buddhists have the right idea: "trash" is an illusion, all is the godhead, discrimination creates karma. But boy are their houses messy.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:16 AM on December 11, 2015

Metafilter: the golem that lives in our cupboard
posted by sammyo at 9:40 AM on December 11, 2015

So a Jewish mother's kitchen is piled high with garbage. When her ungrateful son finally shows up to visit for Hanukkah, he asks about all the trash. Her reply: "What, you want I should be down at the dumpster you should call?"
posted by zachlipton at 10:28 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Sweetie, you could call once in a while; I worry. You could even visit, maybe take out the trash for your mother.
posted by Mom at 10:51 AM on December 11, 2015 [2 favorites]

Discordians recognize that the important distinction is not between trash and non-trash, but between organic and inorganic. They thus have a compost pile.
posted by Rangi at 11:51 AM on December 11, 2015

Rangi: "Discordians recognize that the important distinction is not between trash and non-trash, but between organic and inorganic. They thus have a compost pile."

A True Discordian has their compost pile in the kitchen.
posted by Splunge at 2:10 PM on December 11, 2015

Bah, erudite Jews know better than to throw anything away. You should stick it in the geniza for the benefit of future generations.
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:01 AM on December 12, 2015