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December 13, 2015 6:09 AM   Subscribe

When the pet crematorium sends her poems purporting to be from her dead cat, Hannah Chutzpah responds in poetry. (And are you sure this is from her? / Only I think her scansion would be better)
posted by Jeanne (18 comments total) 55 users marked this as a favorite
 
She was a lot more civil than she had to be. Good find.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 6:15 AM on December 13, 2015


Most excellent. Thanks for posting.
posted by jammy at 6:40 AM on December 13, 2015


Exactly. There's well-meaning and then there's the miming platitudes of those who perceive the person who just died was some kind of ordinary stuffed toy* which happened to have breathed, and is as easily replaced as flatware.

On the contrary, of course. I'd fight all of Hades for the soul of my cat, Reign In Peace, George. I forgive well-meaning. False sentiment is wax for candles.

Hannah Chutzpah has grace. And restraint.

* PS obviously not you, Mr Bim or Teddy Bear. You are exceptional stuffed toys and always will be.
posted by Mike Mongo at 7:01 AM on December 13, 2015 [2 favorites]


"I paid you to burn her remains

Not to do a ventriloquist routine
With her memory"

Beautiful, rest well, Baba Yaga.
posted by clavdivs at 7:16 AM on December 13, 2015 [10 favorites]


Pet Crematorium is most certainly amused, they well know that cat's can't talk and that pets are not furry children. But Pet Crematorium does know the majority of it's clientele wish to live in a fantasy world where the pets are very quietly whispering sweet words to the "mum". Pet Crematorium does not care if this is a cultural psychosis or if it's just good play acting by soon to former pet owners, it just wants to make a profit.
posted by sammyo at 7:18 AM on December 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


Excellent.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:09 AM on December 13, 2015


*

(it's a hairball)
posted by maryr at 9:44 AM on December 13, 2015 [7 favorites]


But Pet Crematorium does know the majority of it's clientele wish to live in a fantasy world where the pets are very quietly whispering sweet words to the "mum".

How does Pet Crematorium know this? Has Pet Crematorium conducted studies?

In any case, perhaps Pet Crematorium could provide dead pet poetry as an opt-in service?
posted by a car full of lions at 10:06 AM on December 13, 2015 [3 favorites]


She was fierce
I remain fierce
And the soft underbelly of our bond
Was something earned
Not everyone gets to pet its perfect fur
Some bastards will get slashed for trying

Our bond was built in claws, swearing,
Grudging mutual respect, and time.


This.
posted by flabdablet at 10:14 AM on December 13, 2015 [8 favorites]


I just forwarded this to a friend who is currently mourning the loss of her beloved tuxedo beast, even knowing that it might make her cry. She loved it.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:48 AM on December 13, 2015


oh god oh god i was laughing my ass off until i hit the part after 'knife fight' where i saw that i was about to hit the bawling stage and had to close the tab

but this is excellent, and i will read it when i am prepared for ugly crying
posted by you must supply a verb at 11:32 AM on December 13, 2015


also skipping flabdablet's comment lalalalala
posted by you must supply a verb at 11:32 AM on December 13, 2015


I really like this poem for its unsentimental affection. It reminds me of David Lee's Jubliate Agno.
posted by winna at 12:20 PM on December 13, 2015


That was fantastic.
posted by Ravneson at 12:45 PM on December 13, 2015


I know this poet. I have advised her to come join us. :)

(Edited for typo)
posted by Faintdreams at 1:00 PM on December 13, 2015 [4 favorites]


Posthumous notes from departed pets are a plot device in the conclusion of Evelyn Waugh's novel 'The Loved One', but not as much in the quirky film adaptation, which is recommended if you are curious about some weird mid-20th century Hollywood stunt-casting.
posted by ovvl at 5:08 PM on December 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


Ahhh! Hannah's work is great and I am so happy Mefites dig this. Hilarious and also makes me miss my cat.
posted by RokkitNite at 5:28 PM on December 13, 2015


winna, you might also enjoy another Christopher Smart homage, From "Sunspots".
posted by maryr at 8:59 PM on December 13, 2015 [1 favorite]


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