Dog with shark? I don't care.
December 16, 2015 7:06 AM   Subscribe

The BVG, the Berlin Transport Company (Berliner Verkehrsbetriebe), would like you to know what behaviors they do and do not care about on public transportation.

Lyrics, with English translation and a rating on whether or not the BVG really does care. Via Slate Browbeat.
posted by ChuraChura (17 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
That is a lovely celebration of human diversity.

No, really.

It is.

Not what I expected.

But it was cool.
posted by not that girl at 7:29 AM on December 16, 2015 [3 favorites]

Yeah, but that thing he was doing with his eye? I care about unnecessary squinchiness.
posted by mittens at 7:30 AM on December 16, 2015 [3 favorites]

Yes, there should be a penalty for unnecessary squinchiness.
posted by not that girl at 7:32 AM on December 16, 2015 [2 favorites]

You can grate cheese while riding a horse on the Berlin subway. Sweet!
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:57 AM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised about the cutting an onion thing. Chemical warfare combined with an unsheathed blade? Of course, this may just the fact that I have a really bad reaction to onions.
posted by Hactar at 8:04 AM on December 16, 2015

I really wish they would kick those mariachi bands off the train. Well, specifically, a band of three or four guys who exclusively sing "When The Saints Go Marching In" really poorly, accompanied by a blaring portable speaker, while asking for money, around 10 AM on the S-Bahn going east from Hauptbahnhof. Every. Single. Day.
posted by sixohsix at 8:19 AM on December 16, 2015 [3 favorites]

On BART, we get three and four man squads riding back and forth between downtown SF and Oakland doing two minute long covers of the intro and chorus of Help!

I'll take the mariachi band.
posted by zippy at 9:19 AM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

We don't have in-train musicians on the DC Metro, but I did spend several months arriving at a bus stop where every morning a guy with a trumpet seemed to be in a competition with himself and the universe to see how slowly Amazing Grace could be played and still be recognizable as music. Music didn't always win.
posted by Copronymus at 9:55 AM on December 16, 2015 [3 favorites]

Apparently they do care if you try dressing up as a ticket machine to disguise your fare evading ways on the bus, so they do have standards.
posted by zachlipton at 10:32 AM on December 16, 2015


There's a fair amount of lost-in-translation here, since it plays hard on Ausländerdeutsch - very timely, while Angela's arms are still open!


"Turns out it’s the latest move in an ongoing “Shitstorm” (the German press’s term, not mine) that began earlier this year when the BVG attempted to start a Twitter love-fest with the hashtag #weilwirdichlieben, or “because we love you.”

What do you love about the BVG? Tweeted someone in PR who is probably now arbeitslos, seemingly unaware of the notoriously grumpy city’s propensity toward barbed insults. What followed, then, was a torrent of complaints, about everything from getting thrown off the bus because the bus’s electronic ticket reader broke, to the lack of wheelchair access at some stations (valid issues, by the way; what’s wrong with you, BVG?). It seemed the Berlin ridership didn’t care—but rather than give up, the BVG decided to harness both Akboga’s ridiculous earworm and the double meaning of egal. Thus, a PSA about diversity and inclusion on the subway."

Even better!
posted by progosk at 10:43 AM on December 16, 2015 [4 favorites]

Interestingly, "I don't care" is also the motto of public transit in San Francisco. Of course, we take it more seriously here by extending the set of things not cared about to maintenance, leaving the terminal on time, turning around before reaching the end of the route, or drivers stopping mid-route to buy snacks from local businesses.
posted by zachlipton at 10:52 AM on December 16, 2015 [6 favorites]

pretty sure it’s legal, if not inadvisable, to have a bodysuit made out of the “festive” U-Bahn upholstery

There are (somewhat poor taste) websites featuring the “festive” upholstery, with a few of the urban camouflage variety. The summary on CityLab has a few good pictures of people in clothing that matches the moquette.
posted by ambrosen at 11:14 AM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

this killed me
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:01 PM on December 16, 2015

Someone brought a pony on the metro here some years ago (Article in Danish, with illustration) Nothing happened.

It's a sweet video, but the squinchiness??? Seriously, is there an explanation for that? It scars my experience
posted by mumimor at 1:40 PM on December 16, 2015

You used to be able to take a special weekend tour on the BVG where you got to visit the Ops center, drive a double-decker bus and drive a U-Bahn (subway) train. It was loads of fun. I did it in 1978. A+++ would do again. Especially the U-Bahn. That thing flat got-up-and-went.
posted by pjern at 2:21 PM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's a sweet video, but the squinchiness???

I'd say the squinchiness is a double affectation mixing a give-two-fucks-sneer with a feign-the-rudeboy-scrunch, as a foreigner playing an OG might don. Seems pretty much part of Kazim's general persona, just doubled up here, for extra "egal" effect.

(Also: "squinchiness" - that's not even a word. Except, erm, now that it is.)
posted by progosk at 3:24 PM on December 16, 2015 [1 favorite]

(it's been around since the 19th century!)
posted by mittens at 3:43 PM on December 16, 2015

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