Merry Christmas from Ray, Beef, Pat, Téodor and Cornelius!
December 25, 2015 5:08 AM Subscribe
After a twenty-month hiatus, Chris Onstad wishes us all a Happy Holliday with a new Achewood strip, plus some other new content. (Warning: NSFW. NSFFamily, probably, either.)
Time to bring out the childhood drum and drink some public wine!
posted by The White Hat at 5:28 AM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
posted by The White Hat at 5:28 AM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
Fucking Pat.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:28 AM on December 25, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:28 AM on December 25, 2015 [10 favorites]
"I ain't a dude of noises" is definitely entering my personal lexicon. Now I just need to see a new Lesson is Learned... and this will be a truly miraculous Christmas.
posted by zchyrs at 5:29 AM on December 25, 2015 [16 favorites]
posted by zchyrs at 5:29 AM on December 25, 2015 [16 favorites]
Holding out hope for Stan Chin...
posted by leotrotsky at 5:50 AM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 5:50 AM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
And once again, Cornelius shows us the way.
Dude is so old-school, he calls Cambridge "That charming little Montesorri they've set up just north of Essex."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:54 AM on December 25, 2015 [10 favorites]
Dude is so old-school, he calls Cambridge "That charming little Montesorri they've set up just north of Essex."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:54 AM on December 25, 2015 [10 favorites]
that last panel is KILLING ME
first LCD Soundsystem, then Achewood. best internet Christmas ever.
posted by secret about box at 6:24 AM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
first LCD Soundsystem, then Achewood. best internet Christmas ever.
posted by secret about box at 6:24 AM on December 25, 2015 [1 favorite]
[Christmas morning. Ian A.T. looks nervously out the window at the snow falling heavily on the ground outside. Presents are still wrapped behind him, and he hasn't even touched his plate of Christmas cookies.]
"He's just gotta come, Mom. He's just gotta!"
"He'll be here, honey."
"But what if he can't find this thread in the snow?"
"He's been doing this a long time, sweetie. He hasn't missed one yet."
"Maybe Baxter and I should go out in case he-"
"You and that dog are staying in here where it's warm and dry, mister. I know you're worried, but this is an Achewood thread...Stan Chin will be here soon, I promise."
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:42 AM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
"He's just gotta come, Mom. He's just gotta!"
"He'll be here, honey."
"But what if he can't find this thread in the snow?"
"He's been doing this a long time, sweetie. He hasn't missed one yet."
"Maybe Baxter and I should go out in case he-"
"You and that dog are staying in here where it's warm and dry, mister. I know you're worried, but this is an Achewood thread...Stan Chin will be here soon, I promise."
posted by Ian A.T. at 6:42 AM on December 25, 2015 [6 favorites]
Raymond Smuckles is off the trouble shrub! This is good to hear.
posted by Itaxpica at 7:54 AM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Itaxpica at 7:54 AM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
Least expected Christmas miracle ever.
posted by rorgy at 7:54 AM on December 25, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by rorgy at 7:54 AM on December 25, 2015 [5 favorites]
Back in the day.
It's weirdly comforting to know that MetaFilter has always had terrible taste in things.
posted by rorgy at 8:04 AM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
It's weirdly comforting to know that MetaFilter has always had terrible taste in things.
posted by rorgy at 8:04 AM on December 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
Thank you navelgazer ... I think the last frame of the strip might make this post slightly eponysterical. AndvMerry Christmas to all who recognize the day.
posted by Sheydem-tants at 8:17 AM on December 25, 2015
posted by Sheydem-tants at 8:17 AM on December 25, 2015
Merry Christmas from a very special boy!
Glad to see Onstad back in the saddle. Nothing against his attempts to make artisinal sodas or whatever, but we all know where his real talents lie.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:51 AM on December 25, 2015
Glad to see Onstad back in the saddle. Nothing against his attempts to make artisinal sodas or whatever, but we all know where his real talents lie.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:51 AM on December 25, 2015
From rorgy's link:
Um...no. This comic has bad art and horrible story.
Is worst song. Played on ugliest guitar.
posted by Pink Frost at 11:36 AM on December 25, 2015 [22 favorites]
Um...no. This comic has bad art and horrible story.
Is worst song. Played on ugliest guitar.
posted by Pink Frost at 11:36 AM on December 25, 2015 [22 favorites]
To give that thread a modicum of credit, and as much as "Phillipe is standing on it" is a rallying cry for the entire rest of the comic, early achewood was decidedly so-so. It kinda didn't find its feet until The Party.
posted by Itaxpica at 11:49 AM on December 25, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by Itaxpica at 11:49 AM on December 25, 2015 [9 favorites]
Also:
This comic has bad art and horrible story.
Megatokyo is just about the only online comic (manga) I find suitable for reading.
wow, the past really is a foreign country.
posted by Itaxpica at 11:52 AM on December 25, 2015 [20 favorites]
This comic has bad art and horrible story.
Megatokyo is just about the only online comic (manga) I find suitable for reading.
wow, the past really is a foreign country.
posted by Itaxpica at 11:52 AM on December 25, 2015 [20 favorites]
God bless us, every one.
Except Pat. Fuck you, Pat.
posted by SansPoint at 12:52 PM on December 25, 2015 [8 favorites]
Except Pat. Fuck you, Pat.
posted by SansPoint at 12:52 PM on December 25, 2015 [8 favorites]
Fuck Marcus Aurelius, that's the price a rich madman would pay for an apple!
posted by codacorolla at 2:05 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by codacorolla at 2:05 PM on December 25, 2015 [2 favorites]
for reals marc. not everyone's a damn hell ass roman emperor, you know. check yr privilege.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 2:16 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 2:16 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
Yeah, I've drunk here before. I'll raise a glass when he's still around in three months.
(I am inordinately fond of Achewood. And the Mr. Onstad doesn't have to do anything more and I will always have huge respect for him.)
posted by From Bklyn at 2:56 PM on December 25, 2015 [9 favorites]
(I am inordinately fond of Achewood. And the Mr. Onstad doesn't have to do anything more and I will always have huge respect for him.)
posted by From Bklyn at 2:56 PM on December 25, 2015 [9 favorites]
Who knew Christmas would turn out to be a Fuck You Friday?
posted by edheil at 3:06 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by edheil at 3:06 PM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]
I think you mean a "Fuck...you?" friday
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:15 PM on December 25, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:15 PM on December 25, 2015 [5 favorites]
Having just finished Jessica Jones, I was kind of in the market for a new binge (despite only being on Vol. 8 of Lone Wolf and Cub), and the new strip made me think that it's maybe time to re-read the whole of Achewood. Going back to the first strip, I couldn't help noticing that it's dated October 1, 2001 -- which, in turn, made me wonder, is there any way to see Achewood as a response to 9/11? I can't quite get there, but I'd be interested to follow a brain-contortion that did.
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 8:50 PM on December 25, 2015
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 8:50 PM on December 25, 2015
It's weirdly comforting to know that MetaFilter has always had terrible taste in things.
I always love reading that first Achewood thread. It's the definitive list of webcomics that were more popular than Achewood in 2002 but are now justly forgotten.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 2:36 AM on December 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
I always love reading that first Achewood thread. It's the definitive list of webcomics that were more popular than Achewood in 2002 but are now justly forgotten.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 2:36 AM on December 26, 2015 [3 favorites]
Somethin' change Motherfucker? 'Cause last I checked the deal wasn't that you run into my car?
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:17 PM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Divine_Wino at 5:17 PM on December 26, 2015 [1 favorite]
Am I the only one here who's pissed off even a little at Onstad? I mean, say what you will about some of the comics linked in that previous MeFi strip, but most of them at least either update regularly or officially stopped.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:24 PM on December 26, 2015
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:24 PM on December 26, 2015
> Am I the only one here who's pissed off even a little at Onstad? I mean, say what you will about some of the comics linked in that previous MeFi strip, but most of them at least either update regularly or officially stopped.
Nah. Chris Onstad, despite his ear for language and for characterization through slightly eccentric language use, and despite his talent for a particular type of understatedly baroque humor that's not so much ahead of its time as interestingly sideways from its time, does not actually owe the world a continuously updated smart surreal web comic.
> say what you will about some of the comics linked in that previous MeFi strip.
Okay, I will!
User Friendly was an abomination. Beauty may be skin deep, but in the case of User Friendly under the ugly art all you can find is an ugly, lazy, self-absorbed worldview, completely unredeemed by anything resembling a real joke or an insight about anyone or anything. There is the form of a joke in some strips, to be sure, but just the form. Nothing resembling an idea shambles forth from User Friendly at any point. Reading it is like fingernails on a chalkboard made of sour milk.
If I could arrange it so that we could retroactively unlearn one technology, the thing I'd have us unlearn would be the User Friendly webcomic. Rarely does the perpetration of bland humor rise to the level of a straightforward moral wrong, but with User Friendly that's exactly what Illiad/J.D. has accomplished. I would rather be stuck on a six hour flight sitting in a middle seat between Scott Adams and a teething baby than read all the way through the User Friendly archives.
(Space Moose was also very bad.)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 1:53 AM on December 27, 2015 [10 favorites]
Nah. Chris Onstad, despite his ear for language and for characterization through slightly eccentric language use, and despite his talent for a particular type of understatedly baroque humor that's not so much ahead of its time as interestingly sideways from its time, does not actually owe the world a continuously updated smart surreal web comic.
> say what you will about some of the comics linked in that previous MeFi strip.
Okay, I will!
User Friendly was an abomination. Beauty may be skin deep, but in the case of User Friendly under the ugly art all you can find is an ugly, lazy, self-absorbed worldview, completely unredeemed by anything resembling a real joke or an insight about anyone or anything. There is the form of a joke in some strips, to be sure, but just the form. Nothing resembling an idea shambles forth from User Friendly at any point. Reading it is like fingernails on a chalkboard made of sour milk.
If I could arrange it so that we could retroactively unlearn one technology, the thing I'd have us unlearn would be the User Friendly webcomic. Rarely does the perpetration of bland humor rise to the level of a straightforward moral wrong, but with User Friendly that's exactly what Illiad/J.D. has accomplished. I would rather be stuck on a six hour flight sitting in a middle seat between Scott Adams and a teething baby than read all the way through the User Friendly archives.
(Space Moose was also very bad.)
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 1:53 AM on December 27, 2015 [10 favorites]
Chris Onstad, despite his ear for language and for characterization through slightly eccentric language use, and despite his talent for a particular type of understatedly baroque humor that's not so much ahead of its time as interestingly sideways from its time, does not actually owe the world a continuously updated smart surreal web comic.
Damn it, I bet we never find out what was in that Grover Cleveland book
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:57 AM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Damn it, I bet we never find out what was in that Grover Cleveland book
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:57 AM on December 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
IMPECCABLE
posted by Navelgazer at 8:46 AM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Navelgazer at 8:46 AM on December 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
(Space Moose was also very bad.)
Space Moose, at least, reveled in its badness. User Friendly thought itself good.
posted by rifflesby at 4:22 PM on December 28, 2015
Space Moose, at least, reveled in its badness. User Friendly thought itself good.
posted by rifflesby at 4:22 PM on December 28, 2015
If this doesn't indicate a revival, temporary as it may be, I'm a little upset it's going to replace the previous strip as the "final" one, because that one actually worked really well in its own weird way as an "ending" to Achewood. This one is just a gag strip.
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:56 PM on December 29, 2015
posted by DoctorFedora at 4:56 PM on December 29, 2015
I've always liked Fuck You Fridays.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:59 PM on December 30, 2015
posted by Existential Dread at 8:59 PM on December 30, 2015
I mean, that was one of Beef's stress nightmares, right?
posted by Navelgazer at 9:21 AM on January 1, 2016
posted by Navelgazer at 9:21 AM on January 1, 2016
I would comfortably saw yes, yes it is/was.
posted by From Bklyn at 10:06 AM on January 1, 2016
posted by From Bklyn at 10:06 AM on January 1, 2016
Yay for another new Achewood.
And I always thought "airplane mode" was a phone device that helped to find a potential pilot among the passengers if the whole cockpit crew were incapacitated.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:37 PM on January 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
And I always thought "airplane mode" was a phone device that helped to find a potential pilot among the passengers if the whole cockpit crew were incapacitated.
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:37 PM on January 1, 2016 [1 favorite]
Stress nightmare would be my thought. Alternatively it's a set-up for another Beef in Heaven strip.
posted by Pink Frost at 2:37 PM on January 1, 2016
posted by Pink Frost at 2:37 PM on January 1, 2016
Boosh!
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:14 PM on January 1, 2016
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:14 PM on January 1, 2016
OVERRIDE, JIM! OVERRIDE!
I...WE CAN'T! HE'S IN INCOGNITO MODE!
genius
posted by Existential Dread at 6:24 PM on January 2, 2016
I...WE CAN'T! HE'S IN INCOGNITO MODE!
genius
posted by Existential Dread at 6:24 PM on January 2, 2016
Yup. Appears it was just a stress dream.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:34 AM on January 8, 2016
posted by Navelgazer at 8:34 AM on January 8, 2016
...get in the car, species, 'cause supper's on daddy.
If you can't see the beauty in this we are no longer friends, not internet friends, kinda friends or pretend friends or polite cause our wives know each other friends. We are 'I nod at you because I know you and I don't wish you I'll but - ' acquaintances.
posted by From Bklyn at 9:09 AM on January 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
If you can't see the beauty in this we are no longer friends, not internet friends, kinda friends or pretend friends or polite cause our wives know each other friends. We are 'I nod at you because I know you and I don't wish you I'll but - ' acquaintances.
posted by From Bklyn at 9:09 AM on January 8, 2016 [2 favorites]
Geez three in a row
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:19 PM on January 10, 2016
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:19 PM on January 10, 2016
If you can't see the beauty in this we are no longer friends, not internet friends, kinda friends or pretend friends or polite cause our wives know each other friends. We are 'I nod at you because I know you and I don't wish you I'll but - ' acquaintances.
Men in fezzes are unpredictable, and may be at your wedding for reasons that are unclear to you. An understated, respectful nod will be appreciated but go unacknowledged. Move on.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:21 PM on January 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
Men in fezzes are unpredictable, and may be at your wedding for reasons that are unclear to you. An understated, respectful nod will be appreciated but go unacknowledged. Move on.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:21 PM on January 11, 2016 [1 favorite]
And yet another! That's one every week since Christmas!
posted by brecc at 9:14 AM on January 22, 2016
posted by brecc at 9:14 AM on January 22, 2016
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posted by FatherDagon at 5:25 AM on December 25, 2015 [3 favorites]