“You can give a lousy customer the boot.”
January 4, 2016 7:39 PM Subscribe
Mistress Matisse used to write about stuff like this a lot on her blog. She doesn't update it much anymore, but the archives are definitely worth reading.
posted by matildaben at 10:15 PM on January 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by matildaben at 10:15 PM on January 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
oh Jesus, this is yet another of those freelancing peptalks with "sex worker" to make it clickbait.
the whole problem boils down to: you can't "fire" a client if you are desperate. and if you are "working for yourself" you will find yourself desperate unless you win the lottery and can specialize in services with over demand. freelancing guarantees desperation and desperate people will do things they wouldn't otherwise do... which is the ultimate reason why there is always a market for freelancers.
posted by ennui.bz at 2:11 AM on January 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
the whole problem boils down to: you can't "fire" a client if you are desperate. and if you are "working for yourself" you will find yourself desperate unless you win the lottery and can specialize in services with over demand. freelancing guarantees desperation and desperate people will do things they wouldn't otherwise do... which is the ultimate reason why there is always a market for freelancers.
posted by ennui.bz at 2:11 AM on January 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
ennui.bz: does it make any difference to you that the writer is a sex worker?
posted by divabat at 4:10 AM on January 5, 2016
posted by divabat at 4:10 AM on January 5, 2016
I am somehow convinced against all evidence that I can condense good politics to a short catchy slogan
Have you considered a career in Prime Ministering?
posted by pompomtom at 4:53 AM on January 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
Have you considered a career in Prime Ministering?
posted by pompomtom at 4:53 AM on January 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
the whole problem boils down to: you can't "fire" a client if you are desperate.
Yeah, I've also been in that position of working too much and in situations that were not very advantageous to me simply because there wasn't enough to cover my bills if I didn't. I think a lot of people have suffered this in the new-and-improved-gigging-economy. But I think the issue the writer is talking about is that once you have worked your way slightly out of the hole, this desperation mentality still persists, long after its use has passed. Example:
If I refuse a booking due to tiredness, or take a booking I would rather not take in order to pay the bills, my “inner boss” nags me. I imagine him as a little mediocre white male sitting on my shoulder, ineffectually shaking his fist at me and droning on about targets and responsibilities
I mean, I have an "inner boss" now, even though I only do freelance tutoring so that I can have some extra pocket money to buy coffee and muffins in the morning. There is almost nothing at stake if I turn down a client; I have a full-time job. But every time I decide I would rather watch TV on any given evening, a little voice tells me, "Noooo, what are you DOING?!?!? You're turning down a chance to make MONEY?!?!?! Why don't you want to make MONEY?!?!?!"
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:54 AM on January 5, 2016 [6 favorites]
Yeah, I've also been in that position of working too much and in situations that were not very advantageous to me simply because there wasn't enough to cover my bills if I didn't. I think a lot of people have suffered this in the new-and-improved-gigging-economy. But I think the issue the writer is talking about is that once you have worked your way slightly out of the hole, this desperation mentality still persists, long after its use has passed. Example:
If I refuse a booking due to tiredness, or take a booking I would rather not take in order to pay the bills, my “inner boss” nags me. I imagine him as a little mediocre white male sitting on my shoulder, ineffectually shaking his fist at me and droning on about targets and responsibilities
I mean, I have an "inner boss" now, even though I only do freelance tutoring so that I can have some extra pocket money to buy coffee and muffins in the morning. There is almost nothing at stake if I turn down a client; I have a full-time job. But every time I decide I would rather watch TV on any given evening, a little voice tells me, "Noooo, what are you DOING?!?!? You're turning down a chance to make MONEY?!?!?! Why don't you want to make MONEY?!?!?!"
posted by chainsofreedom at 5:54 AM on January 5, 2016 [6 favorites]
Mod note: Comment deleted. ennui.bz, if you aren't trolling, you're doing a good imitation. Give this thread a pass.
posted by taz (staff) at 5:56 AM on January 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by taz (staff) at 5:56 AM on January 5, 2016 [2 favorites]
Being from the UK they Do have the advantage that they can both be freelancers and still have easy access to healthcare - something considerably dicier in the US.
posted by Artw at 6:07 AM on January 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Artw at 6:07 AM on January 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
If you enjoyed this, you might like to hunt down John Preston's Hustling: A Gentleman's Guide to the Fine Art of Homosexual Prostitution, which is a remarkably clear description of surviving as a somewhat more common type of sex worker, with some really interesting stuff on money and time management and likely relationship problems.
A dominatrix is a sex worker, her work environment and options toward clients are somewhat different than other kinds of sex workers -- my impression is that all dominatrixes have to do a fair amount of sorting through time wasters and excessively demanding clients, and, except for the period where they are establishing a reputation (and serious economic downturns), most competent practitioners have the luxury of a certain amount of picking and choosing of clients.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:45 AM on January 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
A dominatrix is a sex worker, her work environment and options toward clients are somewhat different than other kinds of sex workers -- my impression is that all dominatrixes have to do a fair amount of sorting through time wasters and excessively demanding clients, and, except for the period where they are establishing a reputation (and serious economic downturns), most competent practitioners have the luxury of a certain amount of picking and choosing of clients.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:45 AM on January 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
Artw, thank you for pointing out the thing about healthcare. That's a VERY important consideration that a lot of people, especially here in the US, tend to overlook. As someone who switches back and forth from I-9 to W2 on a more-than-ideal basis I can attest to this.
It's something that I think a lot of people are aware of, but don't really think about it until they're no longer working for a company that provides it.
Part of that "privilege" I guess.
posted by Blue_Villain at 11:27 AM on January 5, 2016
It's something that I think a lot of people are aware of, but don't really think about it until they're no longer working for a company that provides it.
Part of that "privilege" I guess.
posted by Blue_Villain at 11:27 AM on January 5, 2016
I'm reminded of a bit from David Sedaris's "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim."
When asked how he manages to keep all those people happy, Paul credits the importance of compromise, explaining, "Sometimes you got to put that dick in your mouth and roll it around a little. Ain't no need to swallow nothing, you just got to play on it for a while. You know what I'm saying?"
"Well...yeah."
posted by lore at 2:07 PM on January 5, 2016
When asked how he manages to keep all those people happy, Paul credits the importance of compromise, explaining, "Sometimes you got to put that dick in your mouth and roll it around a little. Ain't no need to swallow nothing, you just got to play on it for a while. You know what I'm saying?"
"Well...yeah."
posted by lore at 2:07 PM on January 5, 2016
It's like the old SubGenius prediction: “prostitution will be legalised, but its definition will be expanded to include all forms of paid work”.
posted by acb at 1:17 PM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by acb at 1:17 PM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
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My current one-shot world-saving slogan is: ALL POWER TO THE SEX WORKERS!
Not even joking. I recently read Trotsky's History of the Russian Revolution, and in one of the bits where Trotsky talked about how the Kronstadt sailors1 were the reddest of the red, the most Bolshevik of all the Bolsheviks, he notes with admiration that they were so disciplined that they even cleared the brothels and kicked out the sex workers.
And that is when I realized I liked neither Trotsky nor the sailors of Kronstadt. Don't expel sex workers. Elect them to leadership positions in the soviets. More than any other category of worker, they know their shit, they know what work means, and they know the importance of seizing power for the working class away from the exploiters.
All power! To the sex workers! All of it!
1: the ones with whom Trotsky would later have a difference of opinion that he'd resolve by sending in the Red Army to kill them all, but never mind that.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 9:38 PM on January 4, 2016 [16 favorites]