Hello, this is Dan from Optus. How may I counter your racism today?
January 6, 2016 5:43 AM   Subscribe

Late last year, Australian telecoms company Optus removed signs written in Arabic from a Sydney storefront (in an area with 10% Arabic-speaking population) after threats from angry store patrons and complaints it was “inappropriate” after the Paris attacks.

The signs were apparently in English and Arabic informing people there are staff in the store who speak Arabic.

Optus received a few angry social media posts from people who didn't like seeing the Arabic signs.

Here's how Optus employee "Dan" responded to these posts..
posted by travellingincognito (58 comments total) 30 users marked this as a favorite
 
this is one of those "common sense isn't common" things, isn't it?
posted by entropone at 5:51 AM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dan is awesome. I am impressed that he didn't just lose it, and continued on in the same patient and friendly tone, because I think I would have hit my FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING BIGOTS limit by about the third post.
posted by skybluepink at 6:11 AM on January 6, 2016 [12 favorites]


Now we just need to turn Dan from Optus into an internet-wide AI that pops up automatically whenever and wherever a bigot speaks.
posted by the turtle's teeth at 6:18 AM on January 6, 2016 [37 favorites]


Dan is being the change we all want to see in the world. I'd love to see the "countering ignorant gun arguments" version of this, because that's where I totally lose my shit.
posted by ersatzkat at 6:20 AM on January 6, 2016 [9 favorites]


I was expecting really snarky responses (like that fake Campbell's soup customer care person) but this is better. The genuine kindness, patience, and good will extended by Dan is really humbling to me. Good man.
posted by like_neon at 6:29 AM on January 6, 2016 [19 favorites]


We've had street signs in English, Arabic, Japanese, Korean and Traditional Chinese for just over two years.

This seems like a case of don't read the comments.
posted by adept256 at 6:35 AM on January 6, 2016


Way to be awesome, Dan!
posted by rtha at 6:36 AM on January 6, 2016


I spent a decade as, essentially, the Dan of my organization. Although my customer service was once described as "impeccable" by my boss, I wish I were as Dan as Dan.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:42 AM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


That last one about love and compassion was my favourite.
posted by Segundus at 6:46 AM on January 6, 2016 [6 favorites]


I am impressed that he didn't just lose it, and continued on in the same patient and friendly tone...

There have gotta be like six Dans, and every twenty minutes or so one has to tag out and go outside and scream into the sky and then get back into the queue.
posted by Etrigan at 6:47 AM on January 6, 2016 [49 favorites]


I support making "Dan" an adjective. I mean, the guy was just so Dan about it, you know? He seems like a super Dan dude.
posted by Think_Long at 6:52 AM on January 6, 2016 [25 favorites]


They're even better if you read them in sarcasticese;

"Thanks for the feedback, Virgil."
"Hi Jason, I'm 'happy' to discuss this with you."
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:52 AM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


I spent a decade as, essentially, the Dan of my organization. Although my customer service was once described as "impeccable" by my boss, I wish I were as Dan as Dan.

The Dao of Dan.
posted by zombieflanders at 7:02 AM on January 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


Dan? DAN! DAN! DAN!


DAN!

posted by lmfsilva at 7:10 AM on January 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Now we just need to turn Dan from Optus into an internet-wide AI that pops up automatically whenever and wherever a bigot speaks.

Do you want Skynet? Because teaching an all-encompassing AI about how humans are intolerant fuckwits who hate everything the least bit different from them... that's how you get Skynet.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:19 AM on January 6, 2016 [16 favorites]


I know someone who installs and programs ATM’s for a regional bank here in New York State. One time, they bought a lot of machines that had some new features the old ones hadn’t; one was the ability to read the screen out loud. She though it was great – not only as a novelty, but for the visually impaired, people with dyslexia, screen glare, etc. Plus, the machines were manufactured in Scotland, and the recorded audio was a lovely female voice with a charming Scots burr. (Think Miss Jean Brodie, not Groundskeeper Willie.) Sp, with her higher-up’s OK, she installed them with the audio enabled.

The angry calls and emails started pouring in the very next day. “This is AMERRICA! I do NOT wanna have to listen to some FURRINER every time I put my PIN NUMBER in the ATM MACHINE!” They stuck it out for less than a week before disabling the audio.

The complaints Dan answered for Optus adhere to Rubberglue’s Law: Anyone demanding that someone else speak English will almost always do so using the worst possible English themselves.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:20 AM on January 6, 2016 [15 favorites]


...that's how you get Skynet.

That's also why we deserve Skynet.
posted by frimble at 7:23 AM on January 6, 2016 [9 favorites]


I think every person named Dan I've ever met has been good people. I wonder if this is due to the fact that "Dan" rhymes so easily with "the man," and it is therefore incepted into the mind of every Dan in the world that they are in fact "the man."
posted by dudemanlives at 7:26 AM on January 6, 2016 [6 favorites]


What are countries other than lines on a map? We all share this Earth, and to share it fully means to love everybody.

If only more people saw the world this way there would be so much less suffering. Dan from Optus makes me feel a little bit more hope for humanity. As in -- There's still someone who hasn't lost his last shred of Humanity and he's from Melbourne, Australia! Go Dan Go!
posted by pjsky at 7:29 AM on January 6, 2016


Do you want Skynet? Because teaching an all-encompassing AI about how humans are intolerant fuckwits who hate everything the least bit different from them... that's how you get Skynet.

If anyone would know? But the counter argument is that teaching the AIs to be tolerant, thoughtful, and consistently able to treat idiot humans with respect might be the only way we survive.
posted by emmet at 7:32 AM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Yeah but as great as Dan was/is, Optus still wound up taking down the signs.

So I guess the lesson is, it doesn't matter if you've got Customer Service Buddha on your side, the forces of ignorance and evil still win?
posted by zjacreman at 7:34 AM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


zjacreman: "Yeah but as great as Dan was/is, Optus still wound up taking down the signs.

So I guess the lesson is, it doesn't matter if you've got Customer Service Buddha on your side, the forces of ignorance and evil still win?
"

According to Dan, they took the signs down because of a specific threat to an employee and they plan to put them back up. ("The signs will be back")
posted by chavenet at 7:38 AM on January 6, 2016 [6 favorites]


Yeah but as great as Dan was/is, Optus still wound up taking down the signs.

That was my initial take too, but it looks like they only took down the signs in one store and only in response to actual threats. To me that's pretty reasonable. It's pretty clear from the first article (as well as Dan's responses) that the corporate policy is to continue trying to communicate with customers in the language they prefer, and to continue advertising that fact. Note that at the end of the first linked article, the response to the customer is signed by Tris, but is consistent (in both message and tone) with everything Dan posted.
posted by nickmark at 7:39 AM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dan was awesomely calm and level-headed in those posts. Much more than I would have been, that's for sure. Which is probably why I've never worked in any sort of customer-facing job.

On a small sidenote...That Gizmodo page absolutely refused to display as anything but unformatted text (with no images) until I had completely disabled both AdBlockPlus and Ghostery. No either/or. No partial disabling of filters. It was all or nothing.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:46 AM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


"No one is disputing the multi lingual language." And multi lingual languages are difficult because, you know, you need more than one tongue to speak them.
posted by jabah at 7:49 AM on January 6, 2016 [7 favorites]


And multi lingual languages are difficult because, you know, you need more than one tongue to speak them.

Just because you missed your surgery appointment is no reason to complain to us....
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:56 AM on January 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


This right here

How can we expect people to make a contribution to society if they don't feel welcome in it?

friggin' nails it. Dan gets it.

Dear Universe:

Please send more Dans.

Sincerely,
Lord Wolf
posted by lord_wolf at 8:23 AM on January 6, 2016 [23 favorites]


The angry calls and emails started pouring in the very next day. “This is AMERRICA! I do NOT wanna have to listen to some FURRINER every time I put my PIN NUMBER in the ATM MACHINE!” They stuck it out for less than a week before disabling the audio.

Regardless of whether this is America or not, I think those angry callers actually do have a good point: I wouldn't want what I do at an ATM machine read out aloud to some random strangers standing in line behind me either.
posted by sour cream at 8:30 AM on January 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dear Universe:

Please send more Dans.


Be the Dan you want to see in the world.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:01 AM on January 6, 2016 [16 favorites]


Plus, the machines were manufactured in Scotland, and the recorded audio was a lovely female voice with a charming Scots burr. (Think Miss Jean Brodie, not Groundskeeper Willie.) Sp, with her higher-up’s OK, she installed them with the audio enabled.

The angry calls and emails started pouring in the very next day. “This is AMERRICA! I do NOT wanna have to listen to some FURRINER every time I put my PIN NUMBER in the ATM MACHINE!” They stuck it out for less than a week before disabling the audio.


I am on record as appreciating machines that speak with a female voice in a Scottish accent. Get an interface that speaks to me in Ashley Jensen's voice and my productivity will either skyrocket or drop to nil.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 9:04 AM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Now we just need to turn Dan from Optus into an internet-wide AI that pops up automatically whenever and wherever a bigot speaks.

Do you want Skynet? Because teaching an all-encompassing AI about how humans are intolerant fuckwits who hate everything the least bit different from them... that's how you get Skynet.


Relevant XKCD.
posted by Aizkolari at 9:16 AM on January 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think the real outrage is that people say "PIN number" and "ATM machine."
posted by 1adam12 at 9:47 AM on January 6, 2016 [8 favorites]


The genuine kindness, patience, and good will extended by Dan is really humbling to me.

When dealing with someone who has such a firmly entrenched belief and angrily defends it, that tone of endless kindness, patience, and good will often infuriates the other person. If you react angrily, they know how to meet force with force, shouting with more shouting. But a calm, rational, patient explanation just makes them look like an asshole.

My hypothesis is that it forces them to either admit to themselves that they are a horrible person, which their ego won't allow, or they have to double down on the thing that everyone can clearly see it wrong. So they usually just sit quietly with steam shooting out their ears or they go ahead and double down and look like even more of an asshole.

It works with all kinds of situations as long as it's clear enough that the other person is in the wrong.
posted by VTX at 9:57 AM on January 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


I saw in the longer version here that there's a "Thane" who appears early and tags out to Dan. As Dan is kindly and patiently explaining peace and tolerance to these nozzles, I suspect Thane is tracking them down and dropping silently in through their ceilings.
posted by running order squabble fest at 11:16 AM on January 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


And multi lingual languages are difficult because, you know, you need more than one tongue to speak them.

Oy, don't get me started on how many extra glottises you're going to need.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 2:15 PM on January 6, 2016


Dan spells pho as the actual Vietnamese phở! I like Dan. I mean in addition to the great customer service and the anti-racism, it's like the cherry on top.
posted by numaner at 3:29 PM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


If I agree with the angry internet comments about anything, it's that the sign probably shouldn't be monolingual.

Seems to be polite to provide an English translation, but it seems to be a bit of an over-reaction to threaten violence over the issue.

Although, I am a bit surprised to find that Australia has no official language.
posted by Mezentian at 3:38 PM on January 6, 2016


Although, I am a bit surprised to find that Australia has no official language.

I actually thought that was more common (I guess since the US also has no official language), but Wikipedia claims 178 countries have an official language, which would only leave 18 without one.

(Also I don't know about Australia, but the claim that "everybody in this country whether you are born here or move here is required to have some grasp of English" is certainly not true for the US, there is no English requirement for immigration (there is to become a citizen, however)).
posted by thefoxgod at 4:00 PM on January 6, 2016


The Australian citizenship test requires some knowledge of English, but I don't believe the immigration test does.
posted by Mezentian at 4:47 PM on January 6, 2016


If I agree with the angry internet comments about anything, it's that the sign probably shouldn't be monolingual.

Why? What good does it do anyone to know "Oh, this sign in a language I can't read says that people speak a language I don't speak", other than reassuring knobs that OHMYGOD THIS SQUIGGLY SIGN MUST BE SOME KINDA TERRORISM THING oh no wait it says they have salespeople who speak Arabic I guess that's okay WAIT IF THEY SPEAK ARABIC THEN TERRORISTS CAN GET PHONES...

Nah, fuck that. If the angry Internet commenters want to know what a sign in another language says, maybe they should study the language.
posted by Etrigan at 5:37 PM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


I thought we had an APP for reading signs now.

What's the Hub-BuB.
posted by clavdivs at 6:42 PM on January 6, 2016


Why? What good does it do anyone to know "Oh, this sign in a language I can't read says that people speak a language I don't speak",

It's polite, and if I look at the 'meaningless squiggles' and know it says 'Yes, we have staff trained in Pakistanian' I can presumably tell any Pakistanian speaking friends they can head down to Optus.

This isn't a tiny specific store like the Asian or Indian stores I frequent, which are traditionally based around serving various ex-pat communities, where I can't expect everything to have a translation, this is a store about as bland as an Apple shop.

But we may need to agree to disagree there.

If the angry Internet commenters want to know what a sign in another language says, maybe they should study the language.

That's not terribly a terribly different attitude from 'if they want to come into our country they should speak the language'. And we have a lot of those already.
posted by Mezentian at 7:41 PM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


What good does it do anyone to know "Oh, this sign in a language I can't read says that people speak a language I don't speak", other than reassuring knobs that OHMYGOD THIS SQUIGGLY SIGN MUST BE SOME KINDA TERRORISM THING

Reassuring knobs is a public good.

Knobs exist, and will always continue to do so. We ignore them at our peril. Unreassured knobs are the underlying reason for most of what is wrong with this country. Unreassurable knobs account for the rest.
posted by flabdablet at 7:49 PM on January 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


If the angry Internet commenters want to know what a sign in another language says, maybe they should study the language.

That's not terribly a terribly different attitude from 'if they want to come into our country they should speak the language'.


Kinda the point I was going for there, yes. If they're all het up about people speaking their language to access their information, it's only fair that they return the favor.
posted by Etrigan at 7:50 PM on January 6, 2016


Reassuring knobs is a public good.

If you start notifying racist idiots of everything that isn't a threat to them, you will never get anything done.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 7:56 PM on January 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


Mezentian: For some categories of Australian visas, including permanent residency and student visas, you have to do an IELTS test as part of your application.
posted by divabat at 8:03 PM on January 6, 2016


If you start notifying racist idiots of everything that isn't a threat to them, you will never get anything done.

If you don't, they will find ways to waste at least twice as much of your time and cause collateral damage besides.
posted by flabdablet at 9:14 PM on January 6, 2016


WWDD
posted by blueberry at 11:11 PM on January 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh hey, that was my tumblr post! I took a bunch of screenshots back in November when it happened and threw them up on tumblr without really thinking about it (if I'd known it would get this much attention I'd maybe have blanked out people's names - at the time I was like "no they made their comments publicly, so be it") and all of a sudden people started reblogging it like wildfire a couple of days ago.

I'm glad Dan is getting the acclaim he deserves, and I read somewhere he got free star wars tickets out of it so that's nice too, but I fear it's also opening him up to having to deal with even more racist bullshit on his off time (for instance, the comments on the Daily Mail article). Especially now that his full name and Facebook profile photo have been shared on news sites, which has got to be a concern for someone who's dealing with customer complaints for a living.
posted by lwb at 1:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


These were great, and the nostalgia for Maltese part... Touché!
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 1:31 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Especially now that his full name and Facebook profile photo have been shared on news sites, which has got to be a concern for someone who's dealing with customer complaints for a living.

What? How did that happen?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 2:35 AM on January 7, 2016


Dan got Duttoned. *zing*

More seriously, it probably wasn't that hard to find a Dan from Optus, who works social media support with a little digging.
posted by Mezentian at 3:24 AM on January 7, 2016




The governments of the UK and France might like to look to this as one small technique to encourage healthy multiculturalism.
posted by iffthen at 12:31 PM on January 7, 2016


Radio segment on Optus Dan from the Radio National program Breakfast on Friday.
posted by XMLicious at 10:05 AM on January 10, 2016


Just to point out one thing: I couldn't find this post on metafilter using the search "customer service dan" since that's all I could remember. I think the issue is that the tags are all strung together. travellingincognito you should separate them with spaces. But I think since the post is already made you can only add new tags, so this one could use some more meaningful ones.
posted by numaner at 1:29 PM on January 19, 2016


Numaner: for multi-word tags Metafilter only lets you put then as one strung-together word. You can have each word separately as a tag, but not multiple words with spaces.
posted by divabat at 4:36 PM on January 19, 2016


I understand, but I don't think I was clear enough. The tag "customerserviceracismaustraliawitty" looks like it's meant to be many different tags rather than a phrase, i.e. "customerservice" "racism" "australia" "witty".
posted by numaner at 5:33 PM on January 19, 2016


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