The bean is crushed to make the coffee, as I am made by coffee
January 7, 2016 10:04 AM Subscribe
According to new US dietary guidelines, you can drink up to 5 cups of coffee per day.
you can drink up to 5 cups of coffee per day.
I don't need your permission, man.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [118 favorites]
I don't need your permission, man.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [118 favorites]
I think that I hit that limit around 10 am every morning. Might have to cut back a bit.
posted by octothorpe at 10:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 10:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
This stupid article is a great example of exactly where science and/or health "journalism" fails the public. It has a number, just like all good splashy headlines do, but that number is completely utterly meaningless.
5 cups? Of espresso, decaf, Peet's, Maxwell House? Do you mean 8 liquid-oz. cups, or a big Starbucks "cup"? The amount of caffeine in a "cup" varies over 2 orders of magnitude.
I'm sure the writer of all 34 linked articles was in a hurry to be first and all, but fer Peet's sake.
Sheesh.
posted by Dashy at 10:14 AM on January 7, 2016 [26 favorites]
5 cups? Of espresso, decaf, Peet's, Maxwell House? Do you mean 8 liquid-oz. cups, or a big Starbucks "cup"? The amount of caffeine in a "cup" varies over 2 orders of magnitude.
I'm sure the writer of all 34 linked articles was in a hurry to be first and all, but fer Peet's sake.
Sheesh.
posted by Dashy at 10:14 AM on January 7, 2016 [26 favorites]
According to new US dietary guidelines, you can drink up to 5 cups of coffee per day.
Oh I assure you, I can drink substantially more than that...
federal advisory committee... concluded that drinking up to five cups a day can be part of a "healthy lifestyle."
Ah yes, that is a rather important proviso then isn't it.
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 10:14 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
Oh I assure you, I can drink substantially more than that...
federal advisory committee... concluded that drinking up to five cups a day can be part of a "healthy lifestyle."
Ah yes, that is a rather important proviso then isn't it.
posted by Joey Buttafoucault at 10:14 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
I drink coffee as part of a balanced breakfast. Of coffee.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 10:16 AM on January 7, 2016 [36 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 10:16 AM on January 7, 2016 [36 favorites]
Oh, ha ha! Five CUPS a day. Cute.
posted by saulgoodman at 10:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by saulgoodman at 10:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [10 favorites]
According to new US dietary guidelines, you can drink up to 5 cups of coffee per day.
Glad to see the guidelines have finally caught up with me.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 10:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Glad to see the guidelines have finally caught up with me.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 10:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I like how the "coffee good?" article is punctuated by "study says COFFEE BAD" links.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I know a certain French novelist who will be less than satisfied.
posted by cacofonie at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by cacofonie at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
....It is probably "safe", but it'd be a bad idea for me personally.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:18 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I find it hard to hold five cups at the same time.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:19 AM on January 7, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 10:19 AM on January 7, 2016 [17 favorites]
Do you mean 8 liquid-oz. cups, or a big Starbucks "cup"?
Isn't a 'cup' a standard defined unit of volumetric measurement?
posted by Dysk at 10:21 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Isn't a 'cup' a standard defined unit of volumetric measurement?
posted by Dysk at 10:21 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Isn't a 'cup' a standard defined unit of volumetric measurement?
The makers of French presses (and other coffee-making devices) define a "cup" as 4oz, not 8oz, so there definitely is some ambiguity.
posted by lefty lucky cat at 10:24 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
The makers of French presses (and other coffee-making devices) define a "cup" as 4oz, not 8oz, so there definitely is some ambiguity.
posted by lefty lucky cat at 10:24 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
5 cups?
I have difficulty measuring in "cups" when the cup is never empty. I really only drink out of the top half of a coffee cup and then "warm it up" all day.
posted by SLC Mom at 10:24 AM on January 7, 2016 [15 favorites]
I have difficulty measuring in "cups" when the cup is never empty. I really only drink out of the top half of a coffee cup and then "warm it up" all day.
posted by SLC Mom at 10:24 AM on January 7, 2016 [15 favorites]
Why does the wapo want me to poop liquid fire? How have I earned this level of cruelty.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:24 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 10:24 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
The makers of French presses (and other coffee-making devices) define a "cup" as 4oz, not 8oz, so there definitely is some ambiguity.
I've seen one standard for a "cup" of coffee as being 6oz.
posted by gyc at 10:25 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I've seen one standard for a "cup" of coffee as being 6oz.
posted by gyc at 10:25 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is a great idea if I need to stay awake for 48 hours in a row.
posted by desjardins at 10:25 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 10:25 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Not if I don't want jaw pain from clenching my teeth, heartburn 24/7, and never sleeping ever again. Much as I love it, I can't even drink one cup every day.
posted by misskaz at 10:27 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by misskaz at 10:27 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
If they're talking literal 8 oz. unit of measure cup, I have cut DOWN to about 4-6 cups a day, except on Saturday, when all bets are off. I try to stop before noon, but again, on Saturday & Sunday, all bets are off.
I printed some shirts a while back to express how I felt about it -- there are still a few left, if you want to show your solidarity.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:28 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I printed some shirts a while back to express how I felt about it -- there are still a few left, if you want to show your solidarity.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:28 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'd never heard this before:
Scientists have identified at least one part of the human genome that controls whether a person metabolizes caffeine slowly or quickly -- and those who are slow metabolizers may be at higher risk of hypertension and heart attacks the more coffee they drink.
I looked around a bit and this page suggests that "slow metabolism" makes you hypersensitive, which seems a little counterintuitive.
Anyone know more about this?
posted by bjrubble at 10:28 AM on January 7, 2016
Scientists have identified at least one part of the human genome that controls whether a person metabolizes caffeine slowly or quickly -- and those who are slow metabolizers may be at higher risk of hypertension and heart attacks the more coffee they drink.
I looked around a bit and this page suggests that "slow metabolism" makes you hypersensitive, which seems a little counterintuitive.
Anyone know more about this?
posted by bjrubble at 10:28 AM on January 7, 2016
This stupid article is a great example of exactly where science and/or health "journalism" fails the public. It has a number, just like all good splashy headlines do, but that number is completely utterly meaningless.
The biggest problem with the article is that it doesn't actually link to the actual guidelines.
posted by gyc at 10:30 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
The biggest problem with the article is that it doesn't actually link to the actual guidelines.
posted by gyc at 10:30 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
My guess is if you metabolize slowly, then it builds up in your system...
posted by symbioid at 10:32 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by symbioid at 10:32 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
You can access the complete guidelines here. The scientific report to the guidelines is available here. The relevant passage:
Currently, strong evidence shows that consumption of coffee within the moderate range (3 to 5 cups per day or up to 400 mg/d caffeine) is not associated with increased long-term health risks among healthy individuals. In fact, consistent evidence indicates that coffee consumption is associated with reduced risk of type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease in healthy adults. Moreover, moderate evidence shows a protective association between coffee/caffeine intake and risk of Parkinson’s disease. Therefore, moderate coffee consumption can be incorporated into a healthy dietary pattern, along with other healthful behaviors. To meet the growing demand of coffee, there is a need to consider sustainability issues of coffee production in economic and environmental terms. However, it should be noted that coffee as it is normally consumed can contain added calories from cream, milk, and added sugars. Care should be taken to minimize the amount of calories from added sugars and high-fat dairy or dairy substitutes added to coffee.posted by melissasaurus at 10:33 AM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
I usually only drink one cup a day.
Granted my coffee cup is a 1.1 liter steel canteen/flask that's usually filled with cold leftover coffee from work from the day before, and I'll probably drink half of it before I even start walking or biking to work at O-dark-thirty to open said coffee shop, where I usually have some espresso to make sure the machine is clean and working.
Oddly, I actually seem to drink less coffee when working a shift. Many days I'll pull a cup of drip for quality check, have a few sips and then if it's busy 'll forget all about it for hours. I'm pretty sure I'm just consuming coffee by osmosis and skin contact, though.
posted by loquacious at 10:40 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
Granted my coffee cup is a 1.1 liter steel canteen/flask that's usually filled with cold leftover coffee from work from the day before, and I'll probably drink half of it before I even start walking or biking to work at O-dark-thirty to open said coffee shop, where I usually have some espresso to make sure the machine is clean and working.
Oddly, I actually seem to drink less coffee when working a shift. Many days I'll pull a cup of drip for quality check, have a few sips and then if it's busy 'll forget all about it for hours. I'm pretty sure I'm just consuming coffee by osmosis and skin contact, though.
posted by loquacious at 10:40 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
Thanks, but I try to keep it down to two cups a day.
posted by entropicamericana at 10:40 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by entropicamericana at 10:40 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Did this report come from the Bassmaster General?
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:41 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Ufez Jones at 10:41 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
The makers of French presses (and other coffee-making devices) define a "cup" as 4oz, not 8oz, so there definitely is some ambiguity.
I think my coffee maker is marked in 5-oz "cups," just to make the math harder.
Five cups of coffee for me would mean DT-style shaking and no sleep for several days. My partner, on the other hand, could drink that much right before bed and fall asleep with no issue.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:42 AM on January 7, 2016
I think my coffee maker is marked in 5-oz "cups," just to make the math harder.
Five cups of coffee for me would mean DT-style shaking and no sleep for several days. My partner, on the other hand, could drink that much right before bed and fall asleep with no issue.
posted by Dip Flash at 10:42 AM on January 7, 2016
I'm always reminded of an actor I used to work with frequently; in every rehearsal, he'd make an entire pot of coffee as soon as he got into the theater, and it was generally understood by all and sundry that the entire pot was his. More often than not, he'd drink his way through the entire pot and make more.
One time, another actor asked him, "Dude, what would actually happen if you didn't drink coffee?" And he just laughed a lot, but said nothing. We all quietly decided not to press the question.
Also: obligatory. ("Fresh POOOOOOOTS!")
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
One time, another actor asked him, "Dude, what would actually happen if you didn't drink coffee?" And he just laughed a lot, but said nothing. We all quietly decided not to press the question.
Also: obligatory. ("Fresh POOOOOOOTS!")
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
According to new US dietary guidelines you can now smoke up to 17 bowls of meth a day.
Is that a metric-standard bowl, or like an inverted helmet-sized bowl?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Is that a metric-standard bowl, or like an inverted helmet-sized bowl?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Oh good. I just cut down to that.
posted by lumpenprole at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016
posted by lumpenprole at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016
I've cut back to one 32 ounce French press in the morning and one similarly sized pot of tea in the afternoon. Getting my heart rate up by caffeine is basically the same thing as exercise, right?
In high school, well before I became insensitive to caffeine from overexposure, I once drank eight espressos and a Jolt cola in an evening. I couldn't stop moving and it felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest and run away. So that was fun.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
In high school, well before I became insensitive to caffeine from overexposure, I once drank eight espressos and a Jolt cola in an evening. I couldn't stop moving and it felt like my heart was going to leap out of my chest and run away. So that was fun.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:46 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed
The hands acquire shakes
The shakes become a warning
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion
Hmm. Needs a little...something something.
*sips afternoon coffee*
*thinks*
*sips a little more coffee*
Ah.
How's this?
IT IS BY CAFFEINE ALONE I SET MY MIND IN MOTION
IT IS BY THE BEANS OF JAVA THAT THOUGHTS ACQUIRE SPEED
THE HANDS ACQUIRE SHAKES
THE SHAKES BECOME A WARNING
IT IS BY CAFFEINE ALONE I SET MY MIND IN MOTION
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:50 AM on January 7, 2016 [14 favorites]
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed
The hands acquire shakes
The shakes become a warning
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion
Hmm. Needs a little...something something.
*sips afternoon coffee*
*thinks*
*sips a little more coffee*
Ah.
How's this?
IT IS BY CAFFEINE ALONE I SET MY MIND IN MOTION
IT IS BY THE BEANS OF JAVA THAT THOUGHTS ACQUIRE SPEED
THE HANDS ACQUIRE SHAKES
THE SHAKES BECOME A WARNING
IT IS BY CAFFEINE ALONE I SET MY MIND IN MOTION
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:50 AM on January 7, 2016 [14 favorites]
Recently I went without coffee (and other delicious things) for a few weeks to clean my system. When I was finally able to have a cup again, it felt like my body was singing "Like a Virgin." All day I'm thinking, This stuff is the shit.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:50 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by gottabefunky at 10:50 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
I looked around a bit and this page suggests that "slow metabolism" makes you hypersensitive, which seems a little counterintuitive.
My 23andme memberhip predates the FDA smackdown so I have various health items, including my indication that I am a slow metabolizer. Here's the text description they use:
posted by phearlez at 10:50 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
My 23andme memberhip predates the FDA smackdown so I have various health items, including my indication that I am a slow metabolizer. Here's the text description they use:
Some people get jumpy after drinking a single cup of coffee, while others can gulp down a Venti Americano without feeling a thing. Part of that variability is due to the development of tolerance by regular coffee drinkers; but there are genetic differences in how people metabolize caffeine as well.and
Caffeine is primarily metabolized by the liver enzyme cytochrome P450 1A2 (CYP1A2). The form of the SNP rs762551 a person has determines how fast CYP1A2 metabolizes caffeine. In this study, people with the slower version of the CYP1A2 enzyme who also drank at least two to three cups of coffee per day had a significantly increased risk of a non-fatal heart attack. The study found that fast metabolizers, on the other hand, may have actually reduced their heart attack risk by drinking coffee.based on marker rs762551 and Cornelis MC et al. (2006) . “Coffee, CYP1A2 genotype, and risk of myocardial infarction.” JAMA 295(10):1135-41.
posted by phearlez at 10:50 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm pretty sure that if I stopped drinking coffee all day, I'd just freeze in place like De Niro in Awakenings.
posted by octothorpe at 10:51 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by octothorpe at 10:51 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
If you feel offended by the low number, I suggest these cups mugs [nsfw-ish]
posted by KMB at 10:54 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by KMB at 10:54 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
One of our grad students commented that coffee didn't seem to work on her any more
I responded "You have leveled up: Achievement Unlocked"
posted by caution live frogs at 10:57 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I responded "You have leveled up: Achievement Unlocked"
posted by caution live frogs at 10:57 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
El café es negro como la noche, y la noche es negro como mi alma.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:57 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 10:57 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
up to 400 mg/d caffeine
So really two or maybe two-and-a-half cups? That's actually more than I usually drink, even when I have an afternoon coffee. Score.
My father-in-law will loudly proclaim, any time the topic comes up, that he consumes "a jeroboam of coffee" every morning before breakfast; I don't think that fits under "moderate" consumption.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:03 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
So really two or maybe two-and-a-half cups? That's actually more than I usually drink, even when I have an afternoon coffee. Score.
My father-in-law will loudly proclaim, any time the topic comes up, that he consumes "a jeroboam of coffee" every morning before breakfast; I don't think that fits under "moderate" consumption.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:03 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I've curtailed my coffee consumption significantly since my barista days, and now if I exceed 500 mL (or if that thermos finds its way into me after 1pm) I won't sleep well.
posted by a halcyon day at 11:03 AM on January 7, 2016
posted by a halcyon day at 11:03 AM on January 7, 2016
Good, so my average day feels like 3 days, so I feel like I should be fine having about that much coffee.
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:03 AM on January 7, 2016
posted by Nanukthedog at 11:03 AM on January 7, 2016
after the twelth cup proved ineffective i started to pack the beans into my cheek like chaw and that worked pretty well for awhile until my body got used to it so i started using this caffeine soap as well and it worked great but tasted nasty i am up to three bars now on top of about a pound of beans and the twelve cups of coffee and barry is all like 'you are a danger to your self and others eobard' and i am like i will show you flash
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:04 AM on January 7, 2016 [23 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:04 AM on January 7, 2016 [23 favorites]
Yeah my 23andme membership was worth it just for the insight about how caffeine and coffee consumption affects me. I will never be a 5 cup a day drinker (I'm more like a 1 cup every few days), and now I have some understanding as to why.
Government guidelines are for populations. Of course it shows no negative effect as a whole. Because caffeine consumption CAUSES heart attacks in some, and PREVENTS it in others.
This one issue is where I started to understand how genetic analysis is going to change the way we manage our health in the near future.
posted by danny the boy at 11:05 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Government guidelines are for populations. Of course it shows no negative effect as a whole. Because caffeine consumption CAUSES heart attacks in some, and PREVENTS it in others.
This one issue is where I started to understand how genetic analysis is going to change the way we manage our health in the near future.
posted by danny the boy at 11:05 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Your coffee drinkers were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they never stopped to think if they should.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:05 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by tobascodagama at 11:05 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
I usually just drink the one 12 ounce cup of coffee in the morning. On the other hand, it's an 8-shot, skinny vanilla latte. Sometimes I need a quad-shot pick-me-up around 2:00 in the afternoon, too, but not usually.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:06 AM on January 7, 2016
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:06 AM on January 7, 2016
melissasaurus you had to spoil it with a link to the dang science! Five cups of coffee sounds like a manageable amount. I could easily cut down to five cups a day.
400 mg is a bit rougher. From the first source I looked at:
Caffeine per 8 fl. oz. (1 cup)
Drip or Filter 115-175mg with an average of 145mg
French press or plunger 80-135mg with an average of 107.5mg
Percolated 64-272mg with an average of 200mg
Boiled (Turkish or Greek) 160-240mg with an average of 200mg
The value of caffeine in brewed coffee featured above is an average, with values generally between 64 and 272 milligrams per cup.
Five cups of drip at work would average over 700 mg.
posted by kanewai at 11:07 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
400 mg is a bit rougher. From the first source I looked at:
Caffeine per 8 fl. oz. (1 cup)
Drip or Filter 115-175mg with an average of 145mg
French press or plunger 80-135mg with an average of 107.5mg
Percolated 64-272mg with an average of 200mg
Boiled (Turkish or Greek) 160-240mg with an average of 200mg
The value of caffeine in brewed coffee featured above is an average, with values generally between 64 and 272 milligrams per cup.
Five cups of drip at work would average over 700 mg.
posted by kanewai at 11:07 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Caffeine does nothing for me at all, never has. Even before I developed a taste for coffee, I tried NoDoz tablets, and even taking twice what my friends did, it had no effect (the friends were zooming). But I still love coffee, and drink lots every day. I'm usually on my second pot by noon.
Occasionally, if I'm on a (rare) vacation or something, I can go days without any coffee at all, and it doesn't bother me a bit.
posted by yesster at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Occasionally, if I'm on a (rare) vacation or something, I can go days without any coffee at all, and it doesn't bother me a bit.
posted by yesster at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Is a trenta composed entirely of espresso shots still a cup of coffee?
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2016
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:13 AM on January 7, 2016
My risk of heart attack is reduced by the fact that I had my heart replaced with an AeroPress pump.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:16 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:16 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
I've had 4 rather than my usual 2 today and my left eyelid has been twitching. But if it's For My Country™ I guess I'll have to choke one more down. This should be fun.
posted by goHermGO at 11:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by goHermGO at 11:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
if I'm interpreting this correctly, I can never die.
We should be so lucky.
The paper linked is interesting. The averages certainly are in your favor but the spread can be significant. I pulled the numbers out of the summary and lined them up more nicely for comparison
groups are <1c a day, 1c, 2-3c, 4+c
Everyone, with fast metos on second line.
1.00, 0.99 (0.69-1.44), 1.36 (1.01-1.83), and 1.64 (1.14-2.34)
1.00, 0.75 (0.51-1.12), 0.78 (0.56-1.09), and 0.99 (0.66-1.48) [ *1A/*1A genotype]
The folks below the average age of 59:
1.00, 1.24 (0.71-2.18), 1.67 (1.08-2.60), and 2.33 (1.39-3.89)
1.00, 0.48 (0.26-0.87), 0.57 (0.35-0.95), and 0.83 (0.46-1.51). [ *1A/*1A genotype]
So pretty neat, but the spreads in every group are pretty wide - particularly when you look at the total cohort. When you're under 59 it looks pretty slam-dunk that taking in the coffee in small doses is a payoff, though the 4+c crowd includes folks above the 1.0 reference.
posted by phearlez at 11:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
We should be so lucky.
The paper linked is interesting. The averages certainly are in your favor but the spread can be significant. I pulled the numbers out of the summary and lined them up more nicely for comparison
groups are <1c a day, 1c, 2-3c, 4+c
Everyone, with fast metos on second line.
1.00, 0.99 (0.69-1.44), 1.36 (1.01-1.83), and 1.64 (1.14-2.34)
1.00, 0.75 (0.51-1.12), 0.78 (0.56-1.09), and 0.99 (0.66-1.48) [ *1A/*1A genotype]
The folks below the average age of 59:
1.00, 1.24 (0.71-2.18), 1.67 (1.08-2.60), and 2.33 (1.39-3.89)
1.00, 0.48 (0.26-0.87), 0.57 (0.35-0.95), and 0.83 (0.46-1.51). [ *1A/*1A genotype]
So pretty neat, but the spreads in every group are pretty wide - particularly when you look at the total cohort. When you're under 59 it looks pretty slam-dunk that taking in the coffee in small doses is a payoff, though the 4+c crowd includes folks above the 1.0 reference.
posted by phearlez at 11:17 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Both of my parents can drink coffee immediately before bed and go right to sleep. Am I adopted?
posted by desjardins at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by desjardins at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
So amused by the "recent" developments according to the FDA that people might be different and a "one-size-fits-all" recommendation might not work. Obviously? Like, I'm a fat, angry monster on a rice and bean diet, but lots of fat and literally pounds of greens and some meat and I'm happy and healthy. Other people seem to complain about digesting a huge bowl of kale. This is obviously not scientific but so obvious I can't even believe they're just now saying that.
I definitely drink that much coffee a day (about a 20 ounce french press), and now I want to know if I'm a slow or fast metabolizer! I assume I'd know if the coffee made me miserable? I'd like to cut down for other reasons but aside from the caffeine addiction it's pretty neutral for me.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I definitely drink that much coffee a day (about a 20 ounce french press), and now I want to know if I'm a slow or fast metabolizer! I assume I'd know if the coffee made me miserable? I'd like to cut down for other reasons but aside from the caffeine addiction it's pretty neutral for me.
posted by jeweled accumulation at 11:19 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
My grandmother drank 6 cups of decafe daily and now she is dead
posted by Postroad at 11:20 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Postroad at 11:20 AM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
EmpressCallipygos: I'm always reminded of an actor I used to work with frequently; in every rehearsal, he'd make an entire pot of coffee as soon as he got into the theater, and it was generally understood by all and sundry that the entire pot was his.
Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall and Newsradio fame has said that he used to drink up to 50 cups of coffee a day while on set.
posted by AndrewInDC at 11:21 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall and Newsradio fame has said that he used to drink up to 50 cups of coffee a day while on set.
posted by AndrewInDC at 11:21 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
5 cups of coffee would probably kill me. I can feel the caffeine in decaf :P
posted by supermedusa at 11:23 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by supermedusa at 11:23 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I don't have a fucking coffee problem ... you know what my problem is? There's not a fresh fucking pot!
posted by uncleozzy at 11:25 AM on January 7, 2016
posted by uncleozzy at 11:25 AM on January 7, 2016
My parents drink three pots of coffee between them during the average Thanksgiving dinner, with turkey! My mom has had to switch to decaf, so it's not even about the caffeine anymore, just the endless pursuit of coffee. I like a cup in the morning, but I don't understand them at all.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Once years ago I was sitting on a lawn drinking my usual afternoon liter of coffee from a thermos when a barista from the espresso place where I'd spent the morning happened by, did a double take and said "You?? Are drinking more coffee?"
I nodded, looked down at my cup, reflecting that he didn't even know about the liter I drank before I left the house that day, and decided I'd gotten a little out of control on the coffee front.
I'm down to about 3/4 liter per day now, but lower than that I shall not go.
posted by jamjam at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
I nodded, looked down at my cup, reflecting that he didn't even know about the liter I drank before I left the house that day, and decided I'd gotten a little out of control on the coffee front.
I'm down to about 3/4 liter per day now, but lower than that I shall not go.
posted by jamjam at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
My grandmother drank 6 cups of decafe daily and now she is dead
Recent studies suggest that nearly 90% of all decaf drinkers are at risk of dying at least once.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
Recent studies suggest that nearly 90% of all decaf drinkers are at risk of dying at least once.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:26 AM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
>Currently, strong evidence shows that consumption of coffee within the moderate range (3 to 5 cups per day or up to 400 mg/d caffeine)
As it happens, several months ago I was wondering whether my consumption was within bounds, so I looked up some guidelines. Everything I read said 400 mg/d, or around 2 cups. A cup being of course not a meaningful unit of measure by itself. So the guidelines are EXACTLY THE SAME as they were before, but somebody's changed his mind about how much theoretical caffeine is in a theoretical cup.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 11:28 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
As it happens, several months ago I was wondering whether my consumption was within bounds, so I looked up some guidelines. Everything I read said 400 mg/d, or around 2 cups. A cup being of course not a meaningful unit of measure by itself. So the guidelines are EXACTLY THE SAME as they were before, but somebody's changed his mind about how much theoretical caffeine is in a theoretical cup.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 11:28 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
The only reaction I really have to caffeine is terrible withdrawal headaches, so I am forced to have coffee. This makes it lots of fun when I am sick and also going through withdrawal. But once I get through it, I am ok, and caffeine doesn't really affect me otherwise.
When an old office got an espresso machine and I was taught how to use it, I eventually decided that a dozen shots of espresso a day was excessive. Bringing my consumption down was very painful.
posted by jeather at 11:30 AM on January 7, 2016
When an old office got an espresso machine and I was taught how to use it, I eventually decided that a dozen shots of espresso a day was excessive. Bringing my consumption down was very painful.
posted by jeather at 11:30 AM on January 7, 2016
No. You can drink 5 cups of coffee a day. I personally like to sleep at night.
posted by Splunge at 11:33 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Splunge at 11:33 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
The limit is when I'm vibrating at such a high frequency that I can no longer hold the mug.
posted by echocollate at 11:34 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by echocollate at 11:34 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall and Newsradio fame has said that he used to drink up to 50 cups of coffee a day while on set.
One of my favorite Newsradio episodes is the one where Dave puts Bill in charge for the day and the coffee machine breaks:
"BILL! Coffee machine broken, NO COFFEE!" Later, Bill brings in a tray of four coffees for the staff and Dave snatches the whole tray and scurries out frame while making a Gollum-like sound.
posted by entropicamericana at 11:35 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
One of my favorite Newsradio episodes is the one where Dave puts Bill in charge for the day and the coffee machine breaks:
"BILL! Coffee machine broken, NO COFFEE!" Later, Bill brings in a tray of four coffees for the staff and Dave snatches the whole tray and scurries out frame while making a Gollum-like sound.
posted by entropicamericana at 11:35 AM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I used to get unlimited free coffee and espresso at a place for reasons. I would have, easily, 5-8 cups of coffee in a sitting while chilling at the bar chatting with the baristas, who obviously all become close personal friends in my life. Then I would fly home. It was a good period of my life.
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 11:39 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 11:39 AM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
federal advisory committee... concluded that drinking up to five cups a day can be part of a "healthy lifestyle."
I can't actually see in three dimensions until my second cup and by "cup" I mean "humongous mug that needs two hands to lift". I'm pretty sure that being able to process sensory data is part of a "healthy lifestyle", so I guess we are good.
Thanks, science!
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 11:40 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I can't actually see in three dimensions until my second cup and by "cup" I mean "humongous mug that needs two hands to lift". I'm pretty sure that being able to process sensory data is part of a "healthy lifestyle", so I guess we are good.
Thanks, science!
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 11:40 AM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Caffeine for me was part of a pattern of stimulants and depressives, amping me up to get things done and knocking me out so I could rest. After my health cratered, I cut reluctantly caffeine (and a few other things) and suddenly I can sleep at night and I have energy during the day, and it feels like I'm more in tune with my body and my natural rhythms.
I now think of a stimulant as 'borrowing from the future'. The energy doesn't just come from nowhere -- it always has to be paid, somehow. And pumping myself full of stimulants all day every day, though totally normalized by our society and normal for me for many years, now feels totally insane to me. Five cups? A day? Jesus.
posted by PercussivePaul at 11:44 AM on January 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
I now think of a stimulant as 'borrowing from the future'. The energy doesn't just come from nowhere -- it always has to be paid, somehow. And pumping myself full of stimulants all day every day, though totally normalized by our society and normal for me for many years, now feels totally insane to me. Five cups? A day? Jesus.
posted by PercussivePaul at 11:44 AM on January 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
I now think of a stimulant as 'borrowing from the future'
Exactly! Much better to spend that energy now when I can use it. That's a hell of an exchange rate.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:54 AM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Exactly! Much better to spend that energy now when I can use it. That's a hell of an exchange rate.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 11:54 AM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
Currently, strong evidence shows that consumption of coffee within the moderate range (3 to 5 cups per day or up to 400 mg/d caffeine)
Bless your heart, WaPo. 400 mg/day is two vente lattes from Starbucks, with maybe a nice cip of black tea in the afternoon. Expressed in more conventional terms, it's the amount of joe I pull down in the morning before stopping to take a breath halfway through the cup.
Why do I know this, without looking it up? Because 400 mg/day is exactly twice the limit given for pregnant women. Does my house contain a device for measuring volume, accurate to the 1/10 ounce of liquid, so that my wife would hit that number without having to forego a single milligram of that sweet, sweet elixir? Yes. Yes it does.
posted by Mayor West at 11:56 AM on January 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
Bless your heart, WaPo. 400 mg/day is two vente lattes from Starbucks, with maybe a nice cip of black tea in the afternoon. Expressed in more conventional terms, it's the amount of joe I pull down in the morning before stopping to take a breath halfway through the cup.
Why do I know this, without looking it up? Because 400 mg/day is exactly twice the limit given for pregnant women. Does my house contain a device for measuring volume, accurate to the 1/10 ounce of liquid, so that my wife would hit that number without having to forego a single milligram of that sweet, sweet elixir? Yes. Yes it does.
posted by Mayor West at 11:56 AM on January 7, 2016 [6 favorites]
.Recent studies suggest that nearly 90% of all decaf drinkers are at risk of dying at least once.
However, this figure includes Decaf Georg, who dies up to 10,000 times per day. He is an outlier, adn should not be counted.
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:57 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
However, this figure includes Decaf Georg, who dies up to 10,000 times per day. He is an outlier, adn should not be counted.
posted by blnkfrnk at 11:57 AM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
backseatpilot: In high school, well before I became insensitive to caffeine from overexposure, I once drank eight espressos and a Jolt cola in an evening.
In high school, I once drank several Cokes and coffees -- a typical day, in other words -- before trying my first No-Doz.
I woke up that night on an actual, literal blood-soaked pillow, thanks to a caffeine-driven nosebleed. (It was my new girlfriend's dorm room at this "summer camp" which was really summer school on a college campus, and I had to sneak out of the room and stuff the pillow in a trash can because it was soaked seam to seam, like a horror movie.)
I sure learned my lesson: no more No-Doz, just stick to black coffee!
posted by wenestvedt at 12:02 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
In high school, I once drank several Cokes and coffees -- a typical day, in other words -- before trying my first No-Doz.
I woke up that night on an actual, literal blood-soaked pillow, thanks to a caffeine-driven nosebleed. (It was my new girlfriend's dorm room at this "summer camp" which was really summer school on a college campus, and I had to sneak out of the room and stuff the pillow in a trash can because it was soaked seam to seam, like a horror movie.)
I sure learned my lesson: no more No-Doz, just stick to black coffee!
posted by wenestvedt at 12:02 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall and Newsradio fame has said that he used to drink up to 50 cups of coffee a day while on set.
Errol Morris might call that "going full Fred Leuchter."
Relevant KITH skit: "Oh my god, we've been drinking decaf!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:03 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Errol Morris might call that "going full Fred Leuchter."
Relevant KITH skit: "Oh my god, we've been drinking decaf!"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:03 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
PercussivePaul: Caffeine for me was part of a pattern of stimulants and depressives, amping me up to get things done and knocking me out so I could rest.
I once worked with a tiny, tiny, vituperative woman who drank two enormous, ice-free "iced coffees" -- so just cold coffee, really -- from Coffee Connection every four-hour shift we worked in this cubicle in the Shipping Department. I believe they were 24-ounce cups, thought they may have been larger. (It was a total score, in term of value for dollar.) She also smoked a lot and ate very little.
Later, she talked to a specialist and got some meds and quit the caffeine and smoking and was a LOT happier, and she increased to a more normal body weight. Also, she was a lovely soul for the remainder of her life. Apparently, as much as she loved the stuff that she had trained her body to just tolerate, it wasn't awesome for her physical or mental health. Who knew?!
I miss her.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:07 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I once worked with a tiny, tiny, vituperative woman who drank two enormous, ice-free "iced coffees" -- so just cold coffee, really -- from Coffee Connection every four-hour shift we worked in this cubicle in the Shipping Department. I believe they were 24-ounce cups, thought they may have been larger. (It was a total score, in term of value for dollar.) She also smoked a lot and ate very little.
Later, she talked to a specialist and got some meds and quit the caffeine and smoking and was a LOT happier, and she increased to a more normal body weight. Also, she was a lovely soul for the remainder of her life. Apparently, as much as she loved the stuff that she had trained her body to just tolerate, it wasn't awesome for her physical or mental health. Who knew?!
I miss her.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:07 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
My personal tolerance level is as follows:
Just enough coffee = vibrate through a wall
Too much coffee = vibrate through time.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:20 PM on January 7, 2016 [8 favorites]
Just enough coffee = vibrate through a wall
Too much coffee = vibrate through time.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:20 PM on January 7, 2016 [8 favorites]
Well, this is cruel news to me, as only yesterday, my rheumatologist put me on a new drug regimen and casually said, "For the next seven weeks, I want you to try and avoid processed sugar, gluten and coffee." To which I responded "wouldn't a medically induced coma be easier on everyone?" Because seriously, I'm a caffeine based life from, I'm sure of it. Today has been a cranky day, I can tell you.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 12:25 PM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 12:25 PM on January 7, 2016 [9 favorites]
"We are born of the bean, made men by the bean, undone by the bean. Our eyes are yet to open. Fear the old bean."
posted by codacorolla at 12:33 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by codacorolla at 12:33 PM on January 7, 2016
A flashback: from an earlier thread, my account of what happened when one of my roommates had a bout of insomnia, and over the course of a day, ingested 4 cups of strong coffee, 3 shots of espresso, a pound and a half of chocolate espresso beans, and 3 bottles of Jolt - and the caffeine didn't kick in until about 8:30 that night, when all of it hit him at once.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:34 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:34 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
A long long time ago, when the only approved medications for asthma were steroids and amphetamines, my doctor recommended that 8 year old Sophie start drinking coffee. This was just as well for my parents, as they drank (and still drink) upwards of 3 pots a day. I can only drink about a pot, but that seems reasonable.
Doesn't it?
posted by Sophie1 at 12:35 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Doesn't it?
posted by Sophie1 at 12:35 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
Well shit, I guess I gotta drop it back by 2/3rds.
posted by iffthen at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by iffthen at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I now think of a stimulant as 'borrowing from the future'.--PercussivePaul
Except there are several studies that show that coffee is linked with longer living. I don't drink coffee, but I consider it every time I read one of these studies.
I did, actually, have an omelette this morning to celebrate the guidelines on eating eggs.
posted by eye of newt at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2016
Except there are several studies that show that coffee is linked with longer living. I don't drink coffee, but I consider it every time I read one of these studies.
I did, actually, have an omelette this morning to celebrate the guidelines on eating eggs.
posted by eye of newt at 12:40 PM on January 7, 2016
I just want to live somewhere where I'm not surrounded by intolerable fussbudgets who ask me "you're making COFFEE NOW?????" when I'm brewin' some up and it's only like 10 PM.
posted by invitapriore at 12:41 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by invitapriore at 12:41 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
I used to work with a woman who *always* had a cup of coffee in hand, kind of like Julian on Trailer Park Boys with his omnipresent rum and coke. I have no idea how much caffeine she must have been ingesting, but she must have been well past the "JUST HOOK IT TO MY VEINNNNNNSSS!!!" stage.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:44 PM on January 7, 2016
A huge mug = a cup, right? And "healthy lifestyle" means not punching anyone, right?
posted by Cookiebastard at 12:46 PM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Cookiebastard at 12:46 PM on January 7, 2016 [7 favorites]
I need to get up at 5am and get to bed by 10pm weekdays to make my life work this January, and to make that work I had to quit drinking coffee. I'd been at 3-6 cups and a 7am-12am schedule previously. And four days in, it's been *fantastic*. My days are steady and productive instead of riding the caffeine roller coaster of highs and lows. This jives with my previous experience when I've stopped drinking.
I love drinking coffee and I miss it, but it sure is bad for me.
posted by Kwine at 12:47 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I love drinking coffee and I miss it, but it sure is bad for me.
posted by Kwine at 12:47 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Coffee is protective against diabetes, dementia, liver disease and some other stuff. It has anti-oxidants. It is a health food with a bad rep. It also makes life and work possible for me, so, like the rest of y'all, I'ma drink it anyway, just that now, I get to be smug about it.
posted by theora55 at 12:51 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by theora55 at 12:51 PM on January 7, 2016
According to new US dietary guidelines, being smug up to five times a day can be part of a "healthy lifestyle."
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 12:55 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 12:55 PM on January 7, 2016 [5 favorites]
Did any of this research get reviewed by a panel of plumbers?
posted by Lyn Never at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Lyn Never at 12:57 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
One 12oz cup of coffee in the morning -- black as hell and strong as death.
"I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it."
posted by mosk at 12:59 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
"I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it."
posted by mosk at 12:59 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
I just had a flashback to the days working at the airport when the weather was so gross out no one was flying. I'd make a pot of coffee in one of those industrial coffee machines (there was a little breakfast bar in the office) and of course no one was around to drink it, so I had the pot to myself. I usually polished one off by lunchtime and then had another one in the afternoon.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:02 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by backseatpilot at 1:02 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm tryin' to cut down on my caffine, so when I get up I just have one cup of coffee. And I'd like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast. And on the way to work, I like to get a cup of coffee. And I like the kind of coffee you get with a doughnut So when I get a doughnut, I get a cup of coffee. And when I get to work I like to have a cup of coffee cuz I like to have coffee when I'm talkin' on the phone. And when it get's a little cold I like to have another cup of coffee. And when it's lunch, I have an expresso.
posted by happyroach at 1:02 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by happyroach at 1:02 PM on January 7, 2016 [2 favorites]
SecretAgentSockpuppet, my rheumatologist told me that I had to give up both coffee and booze on my new drugs (like, forever), and I told him he could pick. Coffee or booze. Both was not going to happen.
He made some strange noises for a few seconds and then suggested that avoiding alcohol was the most important thing and that my coffee consumption could probably continue.
I neglected to tell him how much coffee I drank, but then you should never tell your doctor everything. It just makes them unhappy.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2016 [12 favorites]
He made some strange noises for a few seconds and then suggested that avoiding alcohol was the most important thing and that my coffee consumption could probably continue.
I neglected to tell him how much coffee I drank, but then you should never tell your doctor everything. It just makes them unhappy.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 1:17 PM on January 7, 2016 [12 favorites]
Did any of this research get reviewed by a panel of plumbers?
It was reviewed by a crack team of plumbers.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 1:19 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
It was reviewed by a crack team of plumbers.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 1:19 PM on January 7, 2016 [3 favorites]
fiveventisright?
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 1:26 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 1:26 PM on January 7, 2016
Take the lid off your pot or carafe. Boom, cup.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:37 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:37 PM on January 7, 2016 [4 favorites]
"wouldn't a medically induced coma be easier on everyone?"
posted by invitapriore at 1:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by invitapriore at 1:50 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I neglected to tell him how much coffee I drank, but then you should never tell your doctor everything. It just makes them unhappy.
posted by It's Never Lurgi 35 minutes ago
I've adopted a policy of radical honesty with my dentist at least, and I really enjoyed the results:
DENTIST: How much are you flossing?
ME: Not a whole lot
DENTIST: Would it be possible to increase the number of flossings?
Me: Anything's possible
It's the first time he's been the one to change the subject.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:55 PM on January 7, 2016 [28 favorites]
posted by It's Never Lurgi 35 minutes ago
I've adopted a policy of radical honesty with my dentist at least, and I really enjoyed the results:
DENTIST: How much are you flossing?
ME: Not a whole lot
DENTIST: Would it be possible to increase the number of flossings?
Me: Anything's possible
It's the first time he's been the one to change the subject.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:55 PM on January 7, 2016 [28 favorites]
Well I'm glad we could clear this up with sidebars of 4oz 6oz and 8oz cups which I'm promptly going to ignore and drink only two cups a day, as defined as 1 cup = 1 pot of coffee.
posted by Nanukthedog at 1:57 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by Nanukthedog at 1:57 PM on January 7, 2016
I am also baffled by the coffee before bed thing.
When I was in the Navy, coffee was the only thing i drank. I would have to have a travel mug of coffee before bed otherwise I couldn't sleep; kind of like a smoker with a cigarette.
My consumption levels are much lower now, and i'm much better.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 2:32 PM on January 7, 2016
When I was in the Navy, coffee was the only thing i drank. I would have to have a travel mug of coffee before bed otherwise I couldn't sleep; kind of like a smoker with a cigarette.
My consumption levels are much lower now, and i'm much better.
posted by ArgentCorvid at 2:32 PM on January 7, 2016
I drink about 2 - 2.5 litres of brewed coffee a day, plus or minus depending on weekends and stuff.
I don't know how many cups that might be, but it feels good, man.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:36 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
I don't know how many cups that might be, but it feels good, man.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 2:36 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
The measuring unit discordance bothers me. Leads to imprecision. "Cups" are what we use to mete out things like flour, as in "how many cups of flour do we need to make this coffee cake?" Coffee consumption is properly measured in gallons, as in "The allnighter drive from Chicago to New Orleans is roughly 3 gallons".
posted by Chitownfats at 4:30 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by Chitownfats at 4:30 PM on January 7, 2016
109 comments, and not a single Futurama reference.
posted by schmod at 5:45 PM on January 7, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by schmod at 5:45 PM on January 7, 2016 [11 favorites]
I drink about zero cups of coffee a day and even hate the smell. The study in the article was paid for by the industry.
posted by telstar at 6:54 PM on January 7, 2016
posted by telstar at 6:54 PM on January 7, 2016
Dave Foley of Kids in the Hall and Newsradio fame has said that he used to drink up to 50 cups of coffee a day while on set.
Truth be told, if I drank fifty cups of coffee in a day, I'd be peeing about twice that amount in the same 24-hour period. All that caffeine will help you race to the loo more quickly. Good deal, that.
posted by datawrangler at 6:55 PM on January 7, 2016
Truth be told, if I drank fifty cups of coffee in a day, I'd be peeing about twice that amount in the same 24-hour period. All that caffeine will help you race to the loo more quickly. Good deal, that.
posted by datawrangler at 6:55 PM on January 7, 2016
Nanukthedog: ...as defined as 1 cup = 1 pot of coffee.
Pot's got a handle on the side, cup's got a handle on the side. Pot's open at the top, cup's open at the top. Same-same!
Furthermore...
datawrangler: ...if I drank fifty cups of coffee in a day, I'd be peeing about twice that amount...
Also, you'd have the trots. Great for weight loss! Oh, wait...
posted by wenestvedt at 7:01 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Pot's got a handle on the side, cup's got a handle on the side. Pot's open at the top, cup's open at the top. Same-same!
Furthermore...
datawrangler: ...if I drank fifty cups of coffee in a day, I'd be peeing about twice that amount...
Also, you'd have the trots. Great for weight loss! Oh, wait...
posted by wenestvedt at 7:01 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you're at all like me and coffee makes you shaky and uncomfortable, I'd suggest taking some l-theanine alongside it. There's a miraculous absence of negative feelings and jitteryness, leaving only a calm focus with energy.
posted by Valued Customer at 7:52 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Valued Customer at 7:52 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you're at all like me and coffee makes you shaky and uncomfortable, I'd suggest taking some l-theanine alongside it. There's a miraculous absence of negative feelings and jitteryness, leaving only a calm focus with energy.
Oh man, first the cysteine thing, and now this...the only thing I need at this point is an amino acid that'll keep my butthole from hurting the day after eating really spicy food.
posted by invitapriore at 8:30 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh man, first the cysteine thing, and now this...the only thing I need at this point is an amino acid that'll keep my butthole from hurting the day after eating really spicy food.
posted by invitapriore at 8:30 PM on January 7, 2016 [1 favorite]
My 23andme memberhip predates the FDA smackdown so I have various health items, including my indication that I am a slow metabolizer.
Could folks who have this info about themselves from 23andMe say what their coffee experience is like? It seems like a really useful piece of information. Do you drink coffee regularly? How much? Can you drink it before bed?
I'm wondering if slow metabolism makes the effect spread out over time and maybe explains why I can drink so much and not have sleep issues. But I haven't done 23andMe and now they seem to have reviewed some FDA sanction.
posted by anotherpanacea at 3:00 AM on January 8, 2016
Could folks who have this info about themselves from 23andMe say what their coffee experience is like? It seems like a really useful piece of information. Do you drink coffee regularly? How much? Can you drink it before bed?
I'm wondering if slow metabolism makes the effect spread out over time and maybe explains why I can drink so much and not have sleep issues. But I haven't done 23andMe and now they seem to have reviewed some FDA sanction.
posted by anotherpanacea at 3:00 AM on January 8, 2016
telstar: "I drink about zero cups of coffee a day and even hate the smell. The study in the article was paid for by the industry."
Found the alien.
posted by Splunge at 3:51 AM on January 8, 2016 [9 favorites]
Found the alien.
posted by Splunge at 3:51 AM on January 8, 2016 [9 favorites]
YESSSS!!!!!!
posted by drinkcoffee at 6:25 AM on January 8, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by drinkcoffee at 6:25 AM on January 8, 2016 [3 favorites]
I'm trying to cut down on my caffeine consumption
so when I get up I just have one cup of coffee
and I like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast
and when I go to work I like to get a cup of coffee
like the kind of cup of coffee that you get with a doughnut
'cept I never get the doughnut I just get the cup of coffee
and when I get to work I like to have a cup of coffee '
cause I like to have a coffee when I'm talking on the phone
but It usually goes cold and I need to get another
cup of coffee and it's lunch and I have an espresso.
posted by domo at 8:25 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
so when I get up I just have one cup of coffee
and I like to have another cup of coffee with my breakfast
and when I go to work I like to get a cup of coffee
like the kind of cup of coffee that you get with a doughnut
'cept I never get the doughnut I just get the cup of coffee
and when I get to work I like to have a cup of coffee '
cause I like to have a coffee when I'm talking on the phone
but It usually goes cold and I need to get another
cup of coffee and it's lunch and I have an espresso.
posted by domo at 8:25 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
I have always been a fan of the jitterbeast to detail the various phases of coffee intake.
posted by MysticMCJ at 9:20 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by MysticMCJ at 9:20 AM on January 8, 2016 [1 favorite]
Could folks who have this info about themselves from 23andMe say what their coffee experience is like? It seems like a really useful piece of information. Do you drink coffee regularly? How much? Can you drink it before bed?
I'm wondering if slow metabolism makes the effect spread out over time and maybe explains why I can drink so much and not have sleep issues. But I haven't done 23andMe and now they seem to have reviewed some FDA sanction.
The quantity of information you'll get out of them is still not as extensive as it was, even with the FDA clearances. I'm ambivalent about it; on the one hand, thorough is a good thing and making sure people aren't misled is positive. On the other, the information that 23andme put together was largely the distilling of publications identifying markers which you could, in theory, accomplish yourself once your DNA is sequenced. You can download your genome and put it up places like GEDMATCH for other purposes; there's no reason someone couldn't provide that research matching with the sequencing data from 23andme.
Also, do you reside in DC proper or in MD? As of about 5 years ago you couldn't use DNA services in MD that might step on the toes of the medical protectionism outfits. Heard an interesting Ignite talk about it from someone who had to use a friend's DC address to get it done. Not that I am advocating that. {{cough}}
To actually answer your question - both my wife and myself test as slow metabolizers but we're both pretty avid drinkers. There's always at least a latte and a cup of diet coke in my day, and sometimes there's close to a 10 cup pot of coffee. My wife's total intake is probably below mine but she can drink it in evening hours without it interrupting her sleep, or at least it doesn't keep her from dozing off. I avoid drinking any after 4p, else it gives me insomnia.
I would assert that it does negatively impact my wife's sleep, just not falling asleep, but I'm not the boss of her so when she grumps that she didn't sleep well I just shrug and raise my eyebrows and she makes a face back at me.
posted by phearlez at 2:28 PM on January 8, 2016
I'm wondering if slow metabolism makes the effect spread out over time and maybe explains why I can drink so much and not have sleep issues. But I haven't done 23andMe and now they seem to have reviewed some FDA sanction.
The quantity of information you'll get out of them is still not as extensive as it was, even with the FDA clearances. I'm ambivalent about it; on the one hand, thorough is a good thing and making sure people aren't misled is positive. On the other, the information that 23andme put together was largely the distilling of publications identifying markers which you could, in theory, accomplish yourself once your DNA is sequenced. You can download your genome and put it up places like GEDMATCH for other purposes; there's no reason someone couldn't provide that research matching with the sequencing data from 23andme.
Also, do you reside in DC proper or in MD? As of about 5 years ago you couldn't use DNA services in MD that might step on the toes of the medical protectionism outfits. Heard an interesting Ignite talk about it from someone who had to use a friend's DC address to get it done. Not that I am advocating that. {{cough}}
To actually answer your question - both my wife and myself test as slow metabolizers but we're both pretty avid drinkers. There's always at least a latte and a cup of diet coke in my day, and sometimes there's close to a 10 cup pot of coffee. My wife's total intake is probably below mine but she can drink it in evening hours without it interrupting her sleep, or at least it doesn't keep her from dozing off. I avoid drinking any after 4p, else it gives me insomnia.
I would assert that it does negatively impact my wife's sleep, just not falling asleep, but I'm not the boss of her so when she grumps that she didn't sleep well I just shrug and raise my eyebrows and she makes a face back at me.
posted by phearlez at 2:28 PM on January 8, 2016
Well it's 50 cups of coffee and you know it's on
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:30 PM on January 8, 2016
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:30 PM on January 8, 2016
Could folks who have this info about themselves from 23andMe say what their coffee experience is like? It seems like a really useful piece of information. Do you drink coffee regularly? How much? Can you drink it before bed?
I drink a "cup" every few days. I never actually finish the full cup. I love coffee, I just can't drink very much of it, nor do I want to. It makes me feel... generally unwell if I have more than that much. Jittery, sure. But like, almost feverish or flu-like, but not really that either. It's unique to coffee (I don't have the same reaction to sodas or tea), and the feeling is mostly concentrated in my head, but I also feel in it my body. So it's not just a feeling of alertness, but of tension as well. It feels acutely like an altered state.
If I have it in the afternoon, like literally after 1pm, I will have trouble going to sleep that night.
posted by danny the boy at 7:17 PM on January 12, 2016
I drink a "cup" every few days. I never actually finish the full cup. I love coffee, I just can't drink very much of it, nor do I want to. It makes me feel... generally unwell if I have more than that much. Jittery, sure. But like, almost feverish or flu-like, but not really that either. It's unique to coffee (I don't have the same reaction to sodas or tea), and the feeling is mostly concentrated in my head, but I also feel in it my body. So it's not just a feeling of alertness, but of tension as well. It feels acutely like an altered state.
If I have it in the afternoon, like literally after 1pm, I will have trouble going to sleep that night.
posted by danny the boy at 7:17 PM on January 12, 2016
Thanks phearlez and danny the boy.
Those experiences are pretty different. That worries me: I was hoping there'd be some phenomenological marker of the genetic trait.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:46 AM on January 13, 2016
Those experiences are pretty different. That worries me: I was hoping there'd be some phenomenological marker of the genetic trait.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:46 AM on January 13, 2016
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It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed
The hands acquire shakes
The shakes become a warning
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion
posted by graymouser at 10:10 AM on January 7, 2016 [64 favorites]