Nine separate backdoor key holders is totally unnecessary. You could cut it down to five and just station your servers in the US, UK, Australia, New Zealand and Canada — five upstanding democracies with strong human rights records. Distributed! Responsible!
I think you meant Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye.
Split up your key with a "threshold secret-sharing" scheme that creates, say, 5000 shares where any 500 of them can be put together to reconstruct the key. Send one share to each of 5000 randomly selected people on the 'net... The point of all this is that while anyone can recover a key, no one can do it *secretly*. Law enforcement could also get keys to decrypt suspected criminals' files, but only in a way that's open to public scrutiny.
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You need these nine servers, then seven more for the dwarves and three for the elves.
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