The Flat Earth Rapper
January 26, 2016 5:28 AM   Subscribe

Two days ago, semi-famous rapper B.o.B. (no, not that BOB) began posting to his Twitter account a series of tweets and pictures in which he declared his belief that the earth is flat, not round. (And yes, believing that the earth is flat is a real thing.) B.o.B.'s twitter rant caught the attention of the internet's chief of science police, Neil deGrasse Tyson, who tried to change B.o.B.'s mind with the presentation of some well-intentioned facts. Undeterred and unconvinced by deGrasse Tyson's efforts, B.o.B. spent the day whipping up a diss track. Let the rap battle over a flat earth begin.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates (131 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
 
Genius lyrics of the diss track
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


At first this seemed really amusing, but I'm at the point where it's become depressing how much B.o.B.'s science teachers failed him.
posted by lownote at 5:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


I want to say that I'm amazed that he goes from heliocentrism to holocaust denying in the span of five lines, but I'm really not.
posted by Katemonkey at 5:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [28 favorites]


It's a well-known fact that the pyramids are the best sort of grain-silos in a flat world.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [8 favorites]


Mysteries of #rapmusic: Dropping the beat actually means creating a beat, and gravity is not involved at all.
posted by shakespeherian at 5:44 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


"The man is suffering from a mental break of some kind."

Well from what I just read, a celebrity suddenly acting crazy is a sure sign they've just been to a cloning center. Now you're supposed to check his tattoos from before and after.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 5:44 AM on January 26, 2016 [14 favorites]


Yeah but does B.o.B. know about the elephants on the turtles back though?
posted by PenDevil at 5:45 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


have u been to the edge?
posted by colie at 5:45 AM on January 26, 2016


B.o.B.'s science teachers failed him

He dropped out of school in the ninth grade. I think the fail is mostly on him.
posted by fuse theorem at 5:47 AM on January 26, 2016 [15 favorites]


As they say, common sense is what tells you that the Earth is flat.
posted by acb at 5:48 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Here is the church,
And here is the steeple.
The Earth is really flat;
WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
posted by I-baLL at 5:52 AM on January 26, 2016 [86 favorites]


I anticipate a lot more of this sort of thing once your new President Trump takes office.
posted by chococat at 5:52 AM on January 26, 2016 [8 favorites]


If this is all just a work to kick off NdT's hip-hop career, I am 100 percent down with it.
posted by Etrigan at 5:52 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


My friend has an excellent joke about this:

"We all know the earth is flat, but all their lies keep our money in the pocket of big globe"
posted by Philipschall at 5:55 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


flatline bling
posted by .holmes at 5:56 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Man, this got a lot less funny when we hit the casual Holocaust denial in the diss track. Real nice.
posted by Itaxpica at 5:57 AM on January 26, 2016 [16 favorites]


I only have a sample size of 3 but the conspiracy nuts I know smoke a lot of weed.

So I blame weed for this.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:58 AM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


It's ridiculous, but it's probably the best hip-hop song to use the word "heliocentrism" released thus far in 2016.
posted by entropone at 5:58 AM on January 26, 2016 [11 favorites]


LOOK AT ME

LOOK AT ME

LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
posted by lmfsilva at 5:59 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


The man is suffering from a mental break of some kind.

That's my guess. See also: Tila Tequila.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:00 AM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


There are a number of subreddits for flat-earthers, hollow-earthers and geocentrists, and I'd believe it's all performance art, but I remember all of the articles about flat-earthers, hollow-earthers and geocentrists in Fortean Times back in the '90s.

The X-Files picked a fine time to make a reappearance - conspiracy theories and organized crackpottery is undergoing a resurgence in the popular imagination. Jade Helm, Agenda 21, hell, UFO videos of varying ludicrousness are popping up all over You Tube.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:00 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


fuckin' geodesy, how does it work?
posted by ennui.bz at 6:05 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


IIRC he dropped out of school when he was depressed to pursue a music career, and he's been wildly successful so you really can't say he "failed" at what he wanted to do.

This kind of doubling-down on such a crazy niche opinion, from someone who's probably flown in airplanes and SEEN the curve of the earth, is really weird though, if I was a friend I'd be very concerned for him right now :/

(For the record I saw B.o.B and his band live once when he was on his way to becoming famous and it was a great, great show.)
posted by subdee at 6:08 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


B.o.B.'s science teachers failed him

He dropped out of school in the ninth grade. I think the fail is mostly on him.


If this kind of basic understanding of the universe hasn't been comprehensively communicated by ninth grade, the schools and especially science teachers have indeed failed.
posted by Dysk at 6:09 AM on January 26, 2016 [18 favorites]


Oh my god, look at that map, this explains why Americans are so fat
posted by XMLicious at 6:10 AM on January 26, 2016


If this kind of basic understanding of the universe hasn't been comprehensively communicated by ninth grade, the schools and especially science teachers have indeed failed.

The reason that people believe in crazy things like lizard people or the earth being flat is not because nobody has sat them down and patiently explained what is correct.
posted by entropone at 6:12 AM on January 26, 2016 [25 favorites]


I like it better when rappers have their own conspiracy theories, instead of borrowing them from people that are as often as not white supremacists.
posted by box at 6:12 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]




The reason that people believe in crazy things like lizard people or the earth being flat is not because nobody has sat them down and patiently explained what is correct.

No, it's because they haven't been given the tools to critically evaluate stuff competently themselves. Which is what school should do.
posted by Dysk at 6:15 AM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


Please please please can we have a NdeGT diss track in response? With really corny educational lyrics?
posted by tonycpsu at 6:17 AM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


Yes that theory holds up Bobby Fischer was poorly educated and wasn't given the tools to critically evaluate stuff.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:18 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


> "Oh my god, look at that map, this explains why Americans are so fat"

Oh my god, Becky, look at that Earth.
It is so flat.
It looks like one of those rap guys' planets.
posted by kyrademon at 6:22 AM on January 26, 2016 [64 favorites]


Yes that theory holds up Bobby Fischer was poorly educated and wasn't given the tools to critically evaluate stuff.

The fact that he was good at chess doesn't demonstrate well-developed critical thinking skills, exactly. It demonstrates a high degree of intellectual prowess in one very particular arena, but doesn't speak at all to how capable or not he was of evaluating arguments or evidence.
posted by Dysk at 6:26 AM on January 26, 2016 [13 favorites]




Wow. Okay, enjoy dying on this hill.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:28 AM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


He dropped out of school in the ninth grade. I think the fail is mostly on him.


Which is why we define 14 years old as the age of majority. As they are known for making such great decisions.

Definitely not the school system or society's fault. Nope nope nope.
posted by mayonnaises at 6:29 AM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


So reading the Genius lyrics ... gives the impressions that rappers say "Aye" a lot these days.

Ahoy mateys!
posted by freecellwizard at 6:30 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


NeilDeGrasseTysonReaction.gif
posted by RobotHero at 6:31 AM on January 26, 2016


maybe some of y'all can remember that you're sharing a space with high school drop outs and work on being less judgmental and awful.
posted by nadawi at 6:36 AM on January 26, 2016 [47 favorites]


FWIW, I don't think that critical thinking skills and educational attainment are necessarily linked at all - that simply hasn't been the focus of any education system I've had contact with for a long time. I was rebutting the factually incorrect claim that Bobby Fischer had a high degree of educational attainment.
posted by Dysk at 6:39 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


as for BoB, this isn't his only conspiracy belief.
posted by nadawi at 6:40 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dropping a beat is not creative y'all, it's the act of releasing to the world hence "dropping" it
posted by aydeejones at 6:41 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


If only Bobby Fischer had made it to the 11th grade. Then he wouldn't have believed all that crazy stuff!
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:41 AM on January 26, 2016


I work with a biology Ph.D who believes that Noah's ark is literally true. It's not entirely a matter of education. Before I got older (and kinder) I used to push the Noah's Ark guy into capitulating, and he would admit that he didn't want to live in a world where Noah's Ark wasn't true. And sure enough, a day later he would be back to believing it.
posted by acrasis at 6:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [23 favorites]


Ok and more accurately dropping "the" beat means actually exploding with beatness during the song
posted by aydeejones at 6:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


If only Bobby Fischer had made it to the 11th grade. Then he wouldn't have believed all that crazy stuff!

No, if only Bobby Fischer had been furnished with decent critical thinking skills, which is not necessarily correlated to any degree of educational attainment. But by all means continue to conflate the two.
posted by Dysk at 6:43 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


I have had students from similar backgrounds, some of whom could go from A to B, and some of whom could only pass a test by memorizing that A went to B. A lot of chess is memorizing that A goes to B.
posted by acrasis at 6:48 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Genius lyrics of the diss track

I kept waiting for the part of the lyrics that you were calling "genius," then I realized it's just the name of the website.
posted by straight at 6:48 AM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Mod note: Please drop the Bobby Fischer derail.
posted by taz (staff) at 6:49 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


I regret sending this silly thread down a dark path.

[sorry, taz]
posted by lownote at 6:52 AM on January 26, 2016


I want to say that I'm amazed that he goes from heliocentrism to holocaust denying in the span of five lines, but I'm really not.

B.o.B's's tweets are borrowing heavily from Eric Dubay's 200 Proofs the Earth is Not A Spinning Ball. Dubay's an American in Thailand who "teaches yoga" while he fights the ZOG and the NWO. The Holocaust denying isn't a bug, it's a feature.

(Also one of the Ranch Stupidians out in Oregon, Fake Judge Bruce Doucette, is a Flat-Earther, also. Obviously, those dudes need to get it together and produce the Super Bowl Shuffle of Flat Earthery. Their tech nerd, David "#HitlerWasRight" Fry could film it for them.)
posted by octobersurprise at 6:57 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


I will put money on Neil deGrasse Tyson releasing a diss track of his own in the next 36 hours.
posted by DynamiteToast at 6:58 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Also odds on who will be featured on N.d.T.'s diss track:

Rihanna (15-1)
Kanye (20-1)
Jay-Z (30-1)
FLOTUS (50-1)
posted by DynamiteToast at 7:01 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Can we pretend that airplanes NWO black helicopters in the night sky are like shootin' stars....
posted by PenDevil at 7:01 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Bill Nye?
posted by desjardins at 7:01 AM on January 26, 2016


Also odds on who will be featured on N.d.T.'s diss track:

Forgot about Dr(ak)e. Drake (12-1)
posted by DynamiteToast at 7:06 AM on January 26, 2016


Aaaaall you sucka MCs ain't got nothing on me
From my books to my lines, you can't touch Neil deG
I'm on Star Talk
So nerd is inferred
But forget what you heard
I'm like Kepler the third
posted by ostro at 7:12 AM on January 26, 2016 [18 favorites]


VOTE #1 CONSTANT NEGATIVE CURVATURE
VOTE #1 HYPERBOLIC EARTH
posted by the quidnunc kid at 7:13 AM on January 26, 2016 [18 favorites]


" from someone who's probably flown in airplanes and SEEN the curve of the earth, is really weird though"

It makes me kind-of want to kickstarter sending him up as a space tourist, to see if that changes his mind, Three Christs of Ypsilanti-style.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:20 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'll say the earth is flat if you're paying for space rides to prove me wrong!
posted by cmfletcher at 7:22 AM on January 26, 2016 [20 favorites]


Yeah, maybe this is a long con to get himself a free space ride?
posted by ignignokt at 7:27 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is pitiful. First off, I'm still mad at this dude for going with b.o.b. after OutKast's song of the same name was so great. I think I've liked one or two of his songs tops.

NDT isn't likely to come back with a reply because b.o.b. is beyond saving as it stands right now. I think he just heard one or two conspiracies that actually exist, and he just jumped off the deep end. For a long time I thought this stuff in general was trolling, but there are a good number of people who really believe all this "false flag" nonsense, and they're enraptured with the idea that the entire workings of the world are somehow a hoax.
posted by cashman at 7:28 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


If not, this guy is the opposite of GZA.
posted by ignignokt at 7:28 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


I should tweet him this and see what happens.
posted by cashman at 7:33 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


I should tweet him this and see what happens.
man, and i thought that chuck tingle dinosaur porn was fucking up my amazon recommendations…
posted by murphy slaw at 7:40 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Just wait until B.o.B. finds out about Time Cube
posted by photoslob at 7:44 AM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


If this is all just a work to kick off NdT's hip-hop career, I am 100 percent down with it.

He's been portrayed by Chali 2na already...
posted by FatherDagon at 7:54 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Yeah, like, this guy has toured around the world. How do you NOT know that the world is spherical under those conditions?
posted by chainsofreedom at 8:00 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


...it's almost as if he has a new project coming out and days before this was saying there's a conspiracy to keep him from getting views...
posted by nadawi at 8:05 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


The Holocaust denying isn't a bug, it's a feature.

Yeah, I only came in here to say that this is funny in the same way that a quick perusal of Stormfront is also a barrel of laughs.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:32 AM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


In this day and age when you can strap a GoPro to a balloon and send it high enough to see the curvature of the earth, isn't that proof enough of a round planet? Or save yourself the step and look at the hundreds of videos on YouTube of people doing this. There are plenty of good conspiracies out there, seems flat earth is one of the sillier ones to hitch your horse to.
posted by misterpatrick at 8:34 AM on January 26, 2016


he actually discusses the gopro thing if you read his tweets.
posted by nadawi at 8:39 AM on January 26, 2016


B.o.B.'s tweets were my first introduction to Eric Dubay's 200 Proofs the Earth is Not A Spinning Ball, and to Eric Debay's blog, and I've been laughing so much my sides hurt.

It turns out that if you do math wrong, you end up with wrong ideas. So if you say that the curvature of the earth is not 8 inches per mile, as the Pythagorean theorem states, but 8 inches squared, or more than five feet, well, then things don't make sense at all. Things one mile away aren't five feet lower than I am, so obviously the earth is flat.

Why would you square the 8 inches? Because, that's why.
posted by pwinn at 8:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


GoPro's have curved lenses!

I'm just really curious as to why some secret cabal would go through the effort of hiding the shape of the earth. It seems like an awful lot of conspiracy between world leaders just for the sake of a prank.
posted by cmfletcher at 8:42 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm just really curious as to why some secret cabal would go through the effort of hiding the shape of the earth. It seems like an awful lot of conspiracy between world leaders just for the sake of a prank.

What was it that Lenin said? You look to the person who would benefit, and, uh...

I am the Walrus?
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 8:44 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Holy shit. Flat earth theory posits that there is no gravity, but the earth is constantly accelerating upwards.

HOW FAST ARE WE GOING?!?!?!?!?
posted by entropone at 8:46 AM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]


Bill Nye?

I don't know about his rap ability, but he could be a back-up dancer. He's got moves like Travolta from that one movie.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:46 AM on January 26, 2016


And yet I learned something today from this track. Granted it was from the NdGT sampled part of the track (explaining that the bulge at the equator is farther from the center of the earth than the peak of everest). So the moral of the story is, NdGT is such a science ninja that he can educate you even in the middle of a diss track against him.
posted by TwoWordReview at 8:49 AM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


Well, to be fair, a lot of the obvious curvature of the earth from high-altitude photography is due to lenses. But if you've ever driven across the country you've seen things sink and disappear behind you and rise in front of you. Or watched a boat sail away from the shore. Or many other practical demonstrations.
posted by tavella at 8:59 AM on January 26, 2016


Don't drop science.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:00 AM on January 26, 2016


HOW FAST ARE WE GOING?!?!?!?!?

Well 1g of acceleration gets you to the speed of light in a year so, uh. Fast.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 9:18 AM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Well the speed of light is 88 miles per hour so that's not hard at all.

Yes, Back to the Future was trying to tip us off to the conspiracy, but nobody listened. You really will break the time barrier if you go 88 mph. And no, you haven't done that. When you think you're doing like 70 in your car, you're really doing like 20. Speedometers are rigged, and there are like relativistic effects that make it look like you're going faster that that compared to stationary objects. But then they aren't, are they?
posted by Naberius at 9:22 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well it's obvious that every New Years the flat earth is flipped 180 degrees and accelerated in the other direction. The trilateral comission arranges for fireworks, celebration, and excessive drinking at that time to help mask the brief movement change.
posted by cmfletcher at 9:25 AM on January 26, 2016


I've seen the giant pneumatic elevators that move islands up and down as you sail around the sea. They're quite a feat of engineering!
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:29 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Of course, Neil deGrasse Tyson also said:
"Duude — to be clear: Being five centuries regressed in your reasoning doesn’t mean we all can’t still like your music."
So even eminent physicists can get it wrong by about 2000 years...
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 9:36 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


The X-Files picked a fine time to make a reappearance - conspiracy theories and organized crackpottery is undergoing a resurgence in the popular imagination. Jade Helm, Agenda 21, hell, UFO videos of varying ludicrousness are popping up all over You Tube.

The powers that be are only fanning the flames of fringe focus.
posted by Apocryphon at 9:38 AM on January 26, 2016


Dropping science like Galileo dropped the orange.

This is still the best conspiracy theory hip-hop track of all time though.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 9:40 AM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Flat earth theory posits that there is no gravity, but the earth is constantly accelerating upwards sucks. FTFY.

It was only a matter of time before the Music Industry came down on Neil deGrasse Tyson. The racists telling us what music to like don't want us to think black people can be genuinely smart. (They're working together with the racists pushing Ben Carson's candidacy, obviously.)
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:19 AM on January 26, 2016


It's not too late to run for president, I hope.

"The B-o-B and the G-O-P gonna see you free from this scientific bigotry"
posted by kurumi at 10:22 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm going to withhold judgement until RiFF RAFF checks in. If anyone has the answer it's the white Gucci Mane with a spray tan.
posted by MikeMc at 10:23 AM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Can we pretend that airplanes NWO black helicopters in the night sky are like shootin' stars....

When that song was on the radio I thought to myself, "Hah, what if this is actually about chemtrails?" and laughed to myself. Now, hell, maybe it was about chemtrails the whole time.
posted by Copronymus at 10:42 AM on January 26, 2016


What do flat earth theories claim the edge of the earth is like? I'm so confused.
posted by Theta States at 12:00 PM on January 26, 2016


Antarctica is the edge, an impenetrable wall of ice.
posted by grumpybear69 at 12:04 PM on January 26, 2016


DynamiteToast: "Also odds on who will be featured on N.d.T.'s diss track"

"Aubrey, it's Neil."
"Hey Neil. What's up?"
"What's up? You seen this B.o.B., pre-Aristotlean shit?"
"Yeah. I wasn't gonna bring it up until you did."
"Well, I'm bringing it up now. And I guess you know why I'm calling... We gotta body this fool."
"Say no more. I'll see you at the studio tomorrow."
posted by mhum at 12:07 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Antarctica is the edge, an impenetrable wall of ice.

Buhhhht what if we flew over it?
posted by Theta States at 12:28 PM on January 26, 2016


The fact that he was good at chess doesn't demonstrate well-developed critical thinking skills, exactly. It demonstrates a high degree of intellectual prowess in one very particular arena, but doesn't speak at all to how capable or not he was of evaluating arguments or evidence.

okay then what about linus pauling though
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:31 PM on January 26, 2016


I used to push the Noah's Ark guy into capitulating, and he would admit that he didn't want to live in a world where Noah's Ark wasn't true. And sure enough, a day later he would be back to believing it.

This is me, except for it's cat heaven instead of Noah's ark.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:33 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


B.o.B. spent the day whipping up a diss track.

Should have spent a couple more days on it.
posted by bongo_x at 12:36 PM on January 26, 2016


(Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates: "I'm just really curious as to why some secret cabal would go through the effort of hiding the shape of the earth. It seems like an awful lot of conspiracy between world leaders just for the sake of a prank.

What was it that Lenin said? You look to the person who would benefit, and, uh...

I am the Walrus?
"

V.I. Lenin, Donny. Vladmir Ulyanov.
posted by symbioid at 12:51 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


from someone who's probably flown in airplanes and SEEN the curve of the earth

or made a telephone call to another time zone
posted by polecat at 1:32 PM on January 26, 2016




IME serious flat-earthers are less likely to be undereducated than legitimately nuts. It pretty much has to be a conspiracy theory given even the average person's exposure to air and space travel. And sure enough he's on alll sorts of (notably anti-semitic) conspiracy shit here.
posted by atoxyl at 1:48 PM on January 26, 2016


To the Back to Back beat. I'm dead. B.o.B is being Meek Mill'd by an astrophysicist and a rapper with 185 followers on SoundCloud

"Is Donald Trump the one feeding you all of these stupid pieces of information, keeps you on your knees, I know we got freedom of speech but Bobby please"

Daaaayum. Neil hit it out of the park.
posted by T.D. Strange at 2:04 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Gotta say, I was anticipating more conspiracy raps in the comments. I think the Gene Ray diss track would go ... a little something ... like this:
You wanna play games with planes, send out your brainiest
Your claims can't splain 4 corners simultaneous
Plot what your crew did in my dedicated new grid
Cubically prove it, you're educated stupid
posted by knuckle tattoos at 2:18 PM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


Neil's nephew Steve Tyson released his own diss track.
posted by Small Dollar at 2:58 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Neal de Grasse Tyson feat. Mike Tyson, and it's over the '2nd Round K.O.' beat.
posted by box at 3:06 PM on January 26, 2016


Just wait until B.o.B. finds out about Time Cube

Someone send him some Francis E. Dec tracts. He deserves to know about the Frankenstein Computer God and its Sealed Robot Operating Cabinets and brain-bank cities on the far side of the moon we never see.
posted by acb at 3:11 PM on January 26, 2016


B.o.B. quotes David Irving approvingly. Irving wasn't just an anti-Semite, and a Holocaust denier, he was also all kinds of racist. One of the things that came back to haunt him when he sued Deborah Lipstadt was this little rhyme:
I am a Baby Aryan
Not Jewish or Sectarian;
I have no plans to marry an
Ape or Rastafarian.
B.o.B. ignores many more substantial contradictions between his beliefs and reality, but it's still sad to see anyone so complicit in their own degradation.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:29 PM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Ah crap - that cheered me right up when you referred to Irving the in the past tense but then I checked and he's still out there peddling it :(
posted by coleboptera at 4:03 PM on January 26, 2016


entropone: "Holy shit. Flat earth theory posits that there is no gravity, but the earth is constantly accelerating upwards.

HOW FAST ARE WE GOING?!?!?!?!?
"

It depends when you believe the earth began. Since we're talking conspiracy nuts, I worked out the math not only for regular old "the earth is 4.6 billion years old" believers but also Young Earth "the world is 5,700 years old" believers.

Young Earth:
6,341,763,456,000 kph ( 3,940,589,119,542 mph)
5,876 times the speed of light

Old (actual) Earth:
5,117,914,368,000,000,000 kph ( 3,180,124,552,613,000,000 mph)
4,742,090,210 times the speed of light.

Four billion times the speed of light? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me, color me convinced!
posted by Bugbread at 6:23 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


The whole thing is a fascinating rabbit hole of crazy beliefs.

This is two hours long, but I couldn't stop listening to the podcast version of this:

Interview with Mark Sargent on Dark City
posted by Pryde at 6:28 PM on January 26, 2016


Steve Tyson's rhymes are better than good, but the flow is kinda not there. It needs to be covered by DMX or Missy Elliot or the Insane Clown Posse or all three at once.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:39 PM on January 26, 2016


This sorta thing makes me almost wish I was famous enough to have a beef where we'd burst out into song diss tracks.
posted by qcubed at 15:01 on January 26


qcubed? More like q-halved. Hang on, I’m going to my studio.
posted by bongo_x at 6:43 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


I know nothing about this fellow, but did he miss the whole ICP/"Miracles"/magnets thing and how that didn't make ICP look so great, or is he trying to cash in on that....somehow?
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:20 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of Jedi Mind Tricks, who released an album named after a conspiracy junkie book by a dude who ended up being a strange mix of racist, hetero-phobe, and extreme misogynist (women are like body-thetans or psychic vampires sucking the life energy from men, a la Carlos Castaneda's later books!!1!). One of my friends was really into the author ("Val Valerian," a UFO enthusiast of some sort with a supposed military background) at one point and the crazy hateful anti-shit only came out in the fifth book, which was sold for $50 through a TimeCube-style/ GeoCities-quality static page.
posted by aydeejones at 8:40 PM on January 26, 2016


From the linked Time article:
"Every elementary school student learns that Christopher Columbus disproved the existence of a flat earth by sailing to the Americas in 1492"

Please tell me US elementary schools aren't really teaching that. Please?
posted by rocket88 at 10:13 AM on January 27, 2016


rocket88: "Please tell me US elementary schools aren't really teaching that. Please?"

Even in the 1980s in Texas schools weren't teaching that. However, it's a misconception that takes hold at about elementary school age, and it deals with education, so people misremember it as having been taught in school.
posted by Bugbread at 5:51 PM on January 27, 2016


This is still the best conspiracy theory hip-hop track of all time though.

I opened that link, but it somehow didn't resolve as J-Zone's 'Candy Razors'. I'm pretty sure MiB agents hacked the root of the internet to prevent the truth from impacting too many sleepwalking citizens. Get the truth before they get you with the Mind Control Microwaves!
posted by FatherDagon at 6:42 AM on January 28, 2016


taz: "[Please drop the Bobby Fischer derail.]"

I drop a beat like a Bobby Fischer derail...
posted by symbioid at 8:58 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I push pieces and points 'til they stick me in mod jail...
posted by Etrigan at 8:59 AM on January 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


acb: "Just wait until B.o.B. finds out about Time Cube

Someone send him some Francis E. Dec tracts. He deserves to know about the Frankenstein Computer God and its Sealed Robot Operating Cabinets and brain-bank cities on the far side of the moon we never see.
"

Worldwide spinning death.
posted by symbioid at 9:02 AM on January 28, 2016


Suckaz who think the earth is flat
betta check where they heads is at.
Muhfuckas think they know,
but they ain't got a clue,
tryna start a row
with the rest of us who do.

Science is dope and imma drop it harder
ya need to educate yo self, and get a little smarter.
So here's the fuckin' facts,
the straight up heavy deal, yo...
The earth is round... elliptical
that's why we have the seasons, oh

(not quitting my lack of a day job)
posted by symbioid at 9:10 AM on January 28, 2016


I like Lizzie Wade's In Defense of Flat-Earthers:

"But theoretical physics isn’t just science. It’s also a creative pursuit, one that exists in parallel to and sometimes even ahead of experimental evidence. (Remember those string theorists?) One of Wertheim’s central arguments is that theoretical physics helps us feel at home in the universe in the same way that music, literature, and art do.

If you buy into that premise—and I do—there’s a corollary waiting for you: Anyone can make art. It won’t all be good, but for most people looking for a creative outlet, being good isn’t really the point.

That, to me, is what makes #FlatEarth fundamentally different from climate change denial, creationism, or the anti-vaxx movement. It’s not really about exposing a supposed scientific “fraud,” it doesn’t have a political or religious agenda, and it’s not out to stop professional scientists from doing their important work and applying what they learn to improve the world. It’s just a bunch of amateur theorists trying their best to feel at home in the universe, in a way many scientists might well recognize if they let themselves."

posted by progosk at 1:38 PM on January 28, 2016


It’s just a bunch of amateur theorists trying their best to feel at home in the universe, in a way many scientists might well recognize if they let themselves.

That's awfully naive, at best, and seems to rest largely on the same kind of "well, yes, they're ignorant, but they're genuinely, authentically ignorant" apologies that lie behind all kinds of demagoguery. In fact, many of the flat earthers are about "exposing a scientific fraud," and many of them do have political and religious agendas, and many of them either want to, or endorse other ideologies that want to stop professional scientists from doing their work. That doesn't mean that you can't laugh at flat earth hip hop, but I wouldn't fool myself into believing that it's "only" someone "trying to feel at home in universe." You could apologize for anything with that excuse.
posted by octobersurprise at 2:01 PM on January 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Except that in fact it is about "exposing a supposed scientific fraud", if you spend two minutes reading flat earthers. They believe there is a giant conspiracy by NASA and everyone else to conceal said fraud.
posted by tavella at 2:01 PM on January 28, 2016


Sure, I'll buy that science can also be a creative pursuit, and I'll buy that you you can be into science for the creative parts and not care about being "good" (in this case "good" = "accurately describing the real world"). And there are a lot of people who do this kind of "science", and MeFites often really like them: they are the people who write science-fiction novels and fantasy novels and develop role-playing games and write scripts for mindfuck movies. The common bond is that these are all people who like science and playing with science as a creative endeavor, whether the math actually works out or not, and they all do so knowing and admitting that they're doing creative science, not real science. They will enthusiastically admit "Sure, the science may be bad, but that's okay because its aesthetically really cool!" Once a person starts saying "Actually, the real world really is flat" they are no longer a person in the "being good isn’t really the point" category, they are a person who is really bad at science but for whom being good is the point, and who is under the mistaken impression that they are good.
posted by Bugbread at 3:12 PM on January 28, 2016


A question for flat-earthers.
posted by Bugbread at 11:35 PM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


A question for flat-earthers.

Trick photography.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:16 AM on January 29, 2016


The point isn't to be good. The point is to be better.

Believing something that's common knowledge provides no opportunity to be better than everyone else.


Bugbread, but it's also going to flip based on whether it's setting or rising, right? I think this sort of "Here's a photo, checkmate flat-earthers" could just end up the inverse of the circular star time-lapse photos B.o.B. posted. By which I mean he acted like the photos spoke for themselves, but I have no idea what point he thought he was making.
posted by RobotHero at 7:04 AM on January 29, 2016




NdGT immediately jumps on every mainstream science explanation. He got burned for this on the Russian Meteor. He's been provably correct on anything before or since.

Provably. Correct.

Also immensely courageous. Carl Sagan could be wearing white sheets on the weekend as a scientist, and no-one would give a damn, that's how awesome an astrophysicist Carl Sagan was, with his own TV show.

Carl Sagan invited a poor black kid to stay at his house when he missed the bus back home. They spent the evening talking science. NdGT was that kid.

Carl is no longer with us. NdGT is, and his flow is awful, his rhymes nonexistent. When he drops the mic, I defy you to pick it up. It's like Thor's hammer, only the mic is *real*...
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:18 PM on January 29, 2016


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