/boggle
January 26, 2016 3:35 PM   Subscribe

Warcraft [YouTube] [Trailer]
“The peaceful realm of Azeroth stands on the brink of war as its civilization faces a fearsome race of invaders: Orc warriors fleeing their dying home to colonize another. As a portal opens to connect the two worlds, one army faces destruction and the other faces extinction. From opposing sides, two heroes are set on a collision course that will decide the fate of their family, their people and their home. So begins a spectacular saga of power and sacrifice in which war has many faces, and everyone fights for something.”
Directed by Duncan Jones (Moon, Source Code) and written by Charles Leavitt and Jones, the film starring Travis Fimmel, Paula Patton, Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper, Toby Kebbell, Ben Schnetzer, Rob Kazinsky and Daniel Wu is a Legendary Pictures, Blizzard Entertainment and Atlas Entertainment production.
posted by Fizz (151 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Finally! The original story of the war between orcs and humans.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:44 PM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]


Less talking more killing orcs.
posted by eyeballkid at 3:45 PM on January 26, 2016


basicly this
posted by I-Write-Essays at 3:45 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Zug zug, or whatever. It's a trailer for a movie?
posted by grobstein at 3:45 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Lok'tar ogar!

But, yeah, I have a hard time believing this is going to be any good. I hope I'm wrong.
posted by Joey Michaels at 3:48 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


My prediction: The Angry Birds movie (out May 20) will make more money and be better critically received than the WarCraft movie.
posted by FJT at 3:49 PM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


Doom, Tomb Raider, Mario Brothers, Mortal Kombat, Silent Hill, Wing Commander. The list goes on.

It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game. The median Rotten Tomatoes score for attempts is 16%. None has ever scored above 44%.
posted by justkevin at 3:51 PM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


Well, I expected that to be funnier.
posted by Literaryhero at 3:52 PM on January 26, 2016


Finally! The original story of the war between orcs and humans.

We have always been at war with Orcsania.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:53 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


Needs more exploding sheep.
posted by octothorpe at 3:53 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

Wreck-It Ralph.
posted by Apocryphon at 3:57 PM on January 26, 2016 [36 favorites]


Travis Fimmel? Jeez, what a waste. And that wasn't Ron Perlman I saw encased in latex? Good for him, then.

I saw this trailer before SW:TFA, and it was only the 2nd-worst of the trailers they ran. (The worst being Gods of Egypt, which was entirely incomprehensible in addition to being loud & violent & toxic with testosterone.)
posted by suelac at 3:59 PM on January 26, 2016




It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

The Last Starfighter!!
posted by Fizz at 4:00 PM on January 26, 2016 [12 favorites]


So, this is an LOTR rip-off with a more nuanced plot.
posted by cmoj at 4:01 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

Tomb Raider and Prince of Persia were okay. Several of the Resident Evil movies were quite good. And there's a successful franchise (the first of which was good) devoted to Transformers, which started out as toys, so literally anything is possible.
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:01 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Less talking more killing orcs.

Grab your sword and fight the horde!
posted by Talez at 4:04 PM on January 26, 2016


(The worst being Gods of Egypt, which was entirely incomprehensible in addition to being loud & violent & toxic with testosterone.)

As one reviewer pointed out, forget Egypt, is there any indication that movie takes place on Earth? (Although I'm starting to get a bit prickly over the fact that almost every female demon seems to be ripped off of Kali Maa.)
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 4:06 PM on January 26, 2016


The sound design for Warcraft II was really great.
posted by brennen at 4:06 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hell, Garbage Pail Kids was based on collectible trading cards and remains universally admired almost 30 years later.
posted by contraption at 4:06 PM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Metafilter: entirely incomprehensible in addition to being loud & violent & toxic with testosterone
posted by Foci for Analysis at 4:07 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


We get this instead of a Warcraft 4 RTS game?
posted by T.D. Strange at 4:08 PM on January 26, 2016


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

The Last Starfighter!!

Frog Fractions 3… D
posted by Going To Maine at 4:08 PM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]


Apparently the post-credits scene is a panning shot of an unfamiliar galactic landscape and a booming voice just off-camera shouts "YOU MUST CONSTRUCTION ADDITIONAL PYLONS". Sounds like an expanded CRAFTIVERSE is in the oven!
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:10 PM on January 26, 2016 [21 favorites]


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

Plenty of video game movies have been both enjoyable and profitable. That word "good" doesn't mean what you think it means ;)
Or "impossible" either...
posted by anonymisc at 4:13 PM on January 26, 2016


So, this is an LOTR rip-off with a more nuanced plot.

To be fair, they at least got the orcs right. Tiny heads. Biceps like calves. Calves like...even larger calves. Ridiculously massive weapons, wielded one-handed. Looking forward to the third act, where they break out the multi-ton shoulder armor.

I have to say that I find the two lead characters erm, uncompelling - Durotan originated as a shoe-horned in backstory for the Orc Messiah in Warcraft III and our first contact with him in the actual games was in the most recent expansion of the most recent game. Anduin Lothar was, if I remember correctly, the Fridge Hero that kicked off the second half of the Warcraft II storyline, such as it was.

I'm sure they're planning/hoping for more movies down the line, but damn, doesn't Blizzard realize that the Warcraft Universe has always had a vastly, infinitely more compelling stable of villains than heroes? They'd better have Gul'dan tearing off huge chunks of the scenery to chew. Or Blackhand.

The worst being Gods of Egypt

Seeing that trailer made me literally wonder whether I'd had a stroke and started hallucinating. Then I spent precious mental energy in the first few seconds trying to figure out if I was looking at the newest, and most satirical yet, Sacha Baron Cohen film.
posted by AdamCSnider at 4:14 PM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


The first Mortal Kombat movie is a perfectly fine movie for a party, whether its s 12 yr olds birthday or 5 people in their 30s smoking weed after dinner.
posted by kittensofthenight at 4:15 PM on January 26, 2016 [29 favorites]


I mean.
posted by brennen at 4:17 PM on January 26, 2016


justkevin: It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

Arguably, Tron.
posted by traveler_ at 4:19 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Tron wasn't based on a video game, though, it just used video games as a setting.
posted by Justinian at 4:20 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


I don't think this will be any good, even being a Wow fan. The storylines didn't get really compelling until Illidan and then The Lich King came on the scene. The Blood Elves and Draenai won't be featured either; both very interesting races.
posted by Brocktoon at 4:21 PM on January 26, 2016


That wasn't even the soundtrack for Mortal Kombat, the movie. Or for the games. That soundtrack was an OST for the series itself as a platonic ideal, a mythos, and a cultural artifact.
posted by Apocryphon at 4:21 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Dude, I would be totally down with an Aliens-style space-horror movie where you get to know the hard-scrabble inhabitants of a space colony in the first 20 minutes. Then late one night a rover runs over a strange alien creature returning from the vanadium mines. They take it back to base, when suddenly the remote cameras out at the moisture harvesters start pinging on and then breaking to static, giving the horrified colonists a few brief glimpses and only minutes to barricade the doors as the zergling horde approaches.....

This looks like crap though
posted by Existential Dread at 4:21 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also, the video games based on Tron were just the worst.
posted by brennen at 4:22 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


They should release this world-wide, simultaneously, with several versions of the ending. Whichever theater audience sits through the most continuous showings of the first two thirds of the movie without a break wins the right to choose the ending for that week. After 3 months, the ending that has triumphed the most is saved as the one true ending, and all other endings are no longer available for showing in the theater. Then, when they release the CD, the base price version has only the official ending, but the Special Edition contains all of the possible endings. Unless someone is brave enough to sit through continuous showings for the full 3 months of the major release. In which case, the hero has the option of forcing them to burn all copies and originals of the film and never release it to CD. Gamify your suck!
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 4:22 PM on January 26, 2016 [14 favorites]


One thing that I know is that Blizzard knows storytelling. It isn't always great or original, but it is always polished. They have created one of the most if not the most successful MMORPG of all time, one which even Kevin Bacon knows somebody who plays or has played. The game itself has always had hidden story elements to it, where the lore is available for those that want to adventure through a dungeon than convince a few people to hang out while you read for 30 minutes or so. The have focused on clean cutscenes, proper framing of characters, complex political and social relationships. And of course, they have a clear style that has not only been consistent since their first game, but has become iconic over the years.

At the same time. The source material is not Wuthering Heights. It is a video game that has declined in popularity over the twelve years it has been active. I think they've had like four(?) expansions since they launched. They've been episodes of southpark, replicated a ton of fan production videos, and otherwise succeeded in becoming a bohemoth in entertainment. Their total revenue has exceeded probably that of the top 10 grossing films of all time added together.

So yeah, the movie may be a flop. But, they could lose every dime of the movie's revenue and they'd still probably make it up in renewed subscriptions. The movie isn't important. If anything it is an act of love or at least fan interaction. They don't need the money - at least not in the way most movies need to recoup.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:23 PM on January 26, 2016 [13 favorites]


Less talking more killing orcs humans.

For the Horde!

Anyways, I'm kinda hopeful. I generally like the Warcraft lore, especially when it deals with the Orcs vs. Humans, Alliance vs. Horde, Horde vs. Horde stuff. If nothing else, at least the movie will give some nice renderings and new views of places I've spent too much time in. Stormwind & Dalaran & Elwynn, etc..

For those of you that like the Youtube 360 VR-ish stuff, there's a lovely overflight of Stormwind.
posted by honestcoyote at 4:23 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Can we just skip to having a humongous budget Warhammer 40K movie co-directed by Mike Mignola, Ridley Scott, Michael Bay, and David Lynch yet?
posted by Apocryphon at 4:23 PM on January 26, 2016 [14 favorites]


I've never cared about this video game, but I'm always excited to see Orcs maiming people, so hurrah for this!
posted by Greg Nog at 4:24 PM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Nobody says, "Stop poking me!" No sale.
posted by Splunge at 4:30 PM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Directed by Duncan Jones

Duncan Jones is David Bowie's son.
posted by msbrauer at 4:34 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


I can't believe people are claiming you can't make a decent video game movie!

What about Ang Lee's Morrowind? Wes Anderson's Fable II? Terrence Malick's Shadow of the Colossus? Herzog's Majora's Mask?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:35 PM on January 26, 2016 [13 favorites]


The only decent video game movies/shows I can think of are the ones based on Japanese visual novels. But those games are mostly story. (Clannad, for example).

Movies about video games can be good (Tron, WarGames sort-of, Wreck-it Ralph, etc). But they're not saddled with a videogame-level plot. Most games either have too little story (Doom, Mortal Kombat, etc) or too much (JRPGs are full of complex, weird plots that are hard to make into a 2 hour movie).
posted by thefoxgod at 4:36 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

Why not combine movies and games? It worked for Her Story.
posted by FJT at 4:38 PM on January 26, 2016


Big-screen adaptation of a real-time strategy game? What's next, a Dune movie?
posted by ckape at 4:39 PM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


Huh, now that I bother to think about it, video games actually seem to create generally better movies than regular movie-makers do. (Especially once you take out those bizarre tax-avoidance projects that Uwe Boll was involved in)

Looking at game movies in terms of where they stand in relation to the median: if I pick a video game movie, and in the left column I put same-genre non-game movies that were not as enjoyable, and in the right column I put same-genre non-game movies that were more enjoyable, the left columns are significantly bigger lists than the right. Game movies tend to be among the better movies of their genres, even if not the pinnacle. For example, if I had to browse netflix or whatever Right Now for a zombie flick to watch, there's a fair chance I'd end up playing one of the Resident Evil movies for lack of anything better. Depending on my mood there are better zombie flicks, but also depending on mood, sometimes there aren't.
posted by anonymisc at 4:41 PM on January 26, 2016


I've heard good things about the upcoming Portal movie. It was a stroke of genius having Cake produce the soundtrack.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 4:41 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Movies cost a lot less than video games to produce. Has anyone made a good video game from a movie, yet?

Also: why isn't there a movie of Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Witcher, Fallout, or Grand Theft Auto? Where's the Last of Us movie? I'm pretty sure I'd watch the hell out of a Planescape: Torment movie, or fuck it, even Hero's Quest.

But if they can choose between my movie ticket money and my AAA game buying money, why would they ever take just the movie money?
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:44 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


A Witcher movie is in production.
posted by tickingclock at 4:46 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


ENEMIES WILL UNITE

THE most cliche'd thing you could've started your trailer with. Millions and millions spent, and the tip the marketing spear is in the Cliche Hall of Fame? DUDE.

Still, I have faith they can entertain. But ... yeah.

As I was watching the trailer, a friend of mine walked up behind me.

"Oh, I can't wait for this," she said.
"It looks OK."
"I just hope they do it correctly."
"Correctly? It's not a test. There's not a right and a wrong answer."
"But there's so much!"
"How about instead of 'correctly,' we say 'with respect.'"
"I'm down with that."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:46 PM on January 26, 2016


Why isn't there a movie of... Grand Theft Auto?

The Fast and the Furious?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:48 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Have there been any board-game movies other than "Battleship"? (Jumanji etc don't count)

Ooh - Clue!
posted by anonymisc at 4:50 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


Duncan Jones is David Bowie's son.
Oh, to know whether he is saddened or relieved that dad didn't live to see this. Or whether he is doing some last-minute editing to remove or insert some Labyrinth references. (And wouldn't you say Labyrinth was a kind of a game movie before there were 'game movies'?)
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:50 PM on January 26, 2016


Can we just skip to having a humongous budget Warhammer 40K movie co-directed by Mike Mignola, Ridley Scott, Michael Bay, and David Lynch yet?

*splooge*
posted by echocollate at 4:51 PM on January 26, 2016


This is that time of year for movies, from now until nearly mid march all the films that ought not have been made, or got made by mistake, or went wrong somehow, or must be released for legal reasons, get released. For haters like me, it is a glorious time.
posted by vrakatar at 4:52 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


I wonder how confident they are that the public will know what "WarCraft" is just from the title. Yes it is popular among gamers, but it's popularity has subsided and it sounds like a very generic title that doesn't point to a fantasy epic (nothing about thrones or lords in it's title. No "of" to indicate it's something epic). People might very well associate it with a currently much more famous video game that shares part of it's title: MineCraft.
posted by FJT at 4:52 PM on January 26, 2016


Huh, all this time I've been thinking Tron the movie was inspired by Tron the prototype computer game, a sort of head-to-head snake game that worked like the movie's light cycles. Some quick reading tells me while that connection is there, that sort of snakelike game was never called "Tron" until Tron the official arcade game came out, which included it as one type of level.
posted by traveler_ at 4:55 PM on January 26, 2016


Has anyone made a good video game from a movie, yet?

Yes. Goldeneye was great. The Chronicles of Riddick game was well-liked. There have been a milion of Star Wars games, some of which have been good.

That said, it's clear that really the ideal medium to adapt movies into is pinball tables.
posted by aubilenon at 4:56 PM on January 26, 2016 [21 favorites]


This is such a strange disaster. A Warcraft movie is kind of a bad idea to begin with since the lore is just extruded fantasy glurge and the art style would fit an animated film far better. Not only that, but WoW is really fading as a pop culture phenomenon (the kids have been on to new things for several generations of kids in the target range).

But even beyond that... I mean, I suppose the film could be very different from the trailers? But it really does appear that they've taken a director with a really interesting sensibility and twisted him out like a towel until he produced Attack of the Clones.

On top of that, the compositing is wretched. The scene where they land and the griffon/riders are close up just looks dire. I realize this is a bit of a tangent, but in the last year I've come to the realization that Peter Jackson was actually right. If you're going to fill the frame with insane computer-sourced eye salad, you may actually need to go to 48 or 60 FPS. Right now all these directors need to do is have at least two elements on the screen and move the camera and everything is just a smear.
posted by selfnoise at 4:57 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also this trailer hit in November, didn't we have a thread about this then? Am I losing my mind?
posted by selfnoise at 4:57 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh, to know whether he is saddened or relieved that dad didn't live to see this

I understand that desire, but let’s be real: David Bowie was an artist -a British artist, moreover- and artists do what they need to get paid. I mean, have you watched Vicious? Have you tracked the distinguished film career of Sir Ben Kingsley, or Sir Patrick Stewart’s star turn in Legends of Oz? C.R.E.A.M., yo. A big-budget blockbuster is a good way to get yourself some freedom, at least if it makes a buck.

(Note: I’m not in the film industry.)
posted by Going To Maine at 4:59 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


What about Ang Lee's Morrowind? Wes Anderson's Fable II? Terrence Malick's Shadow of the Colossus? Herzog's Majora's Mask?

Herzog would do Pong and he would narrate the hell out of it.

"Here we are presented with two opponents separated by a chasm, the whiteness of their paddles contrasting with the unfathomable blackness between them. The two paddles are identical in form. Could they have been brothers in a past life? It is impossible to know. Yet it seems clear that there can be no peace while the ball remains in play."
posted by dephlogisticated at 5:01 PM on January 26, 2016 [65 favorites]


Not only that, but WoW is really fading as a pop culture phenomenon (the kids have been on to new things for several generations of kids in the target range).

One way to get new kids into something is to tap that parental affiliation to get them to take the family to the theatre. Hence the timing of TMNT and Transformers and other movies nicely matching the amount of years needed for a child who grew up with those brands to now have children of that age plus fond childhood nostalgia.

Another possibility is simply... how else can they expand? What else could they be doing for the brand with that money that they're not already doing or have already done?
posted by anonymisc at 5:02 PM on January 26, 2016


Herzog's Majora's Mask?

This was by far my favorite Jim Carrey role.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 5:04 PM on January 26, 2016


Another possibility is simply... how else can they expand?

Thrall Kart!
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 5:06 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


Morrowind would actually be an awesome setting for a movie. Or show.

It's weird because Bethesda has been pretty bad about telling A to B narratives in their games, but Tamriel seems like a much better film/TV setting than Azeroth. It has a lot more texture to it.
posted by selfnoise at 5:06 PM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


A Witcher movie is in production.

If they don't get the Fargo version of Ted Danson to play Geralt then they might as well give up on everything and not exist at all.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:09 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Mads Mikkelsen as Geralt, don't @ me
posted by selfnoise at 5:10 PM on January 26, 2016


Witcher started as a book series though.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 5:10 PM on January 26, 2016


Herzog's Majora's Mask?

This was by far my favorite Jim Carrey role.


You must never listen to this.
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 5:10 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also: why isn't there a movie of Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Witcher, Fallout, or Grand Theft Auto? Where's the Last of Us movie?

Or if you are talking MMO's why not a Rift movie. Talk about some amazing boss battles that could be action packed, or everyone's favorite...EVE (or at least something set in the Eve Universe).

The CGI in the trailer was not convincing at all. The story seemed amazingly thin and a retread of so many "Our world is dying." story arcs. BUT...there are orc battles, so I will probably go see it.
posted by Benway at 5:11 PM on January 26, 2016


Hence the timing of TMNT and Transformers and other movies nicely matching the amount of years needed for a child who grew up with those brands to now have children of that age plus fond childhood nostalgia.

Yeah, but usually with that stuff you kind of do a huge simultaneous blitz and have a movie, a TV show, toys, games, cross licenses and promos with existing brands. Is there going to be a new WarCraft game? Is Hearthstone gearing up for new content? Is Medieval Times going to be invaded by Orgrim Doomhammer?
posted by FJT at 5:11 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


WoW is really fading as a pop culture phenomenon

This isn't a World of Warcraft game, it's a Warcraft game. WoW may be on the decline, but Hearthstone, also in the Warcraft universe, has 2-3x as many players as WoW did at its peak.
posted by aubilenon at 5:11 PM on January 26, 2016 [7 favorites]


Mads Mikkelsen as Geralt, don't @ me

Oh, Mads Mikkelsen is your answer for everything. You can't just Mads Mikkelsen your way through life, you have to try different things!
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:13 PM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


Hugh Dancy as Geralt
posted by This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things at 5:16 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


WoW is really fading as a pop culture phenomenon

This isn't a World of Warcraft game, it's a Warcraft game. WoW may be on the decline, but Hearthstone, also in the Warcraft universe, has 2-3x as many players as WoW did at its peak.


Hearthstone is also a CCG with basically no plot, are we going to make a M:TG movie next? Pretty sure that'd turn out amazing!

I mean by that argument they should follow this up with a HotS movie and I'M NOT READY TO LIVE IN THAT WORLD.
posted by selfnoise at 5:16 PM on January 26, 2016


The thing about Warhammer 40K (and Fantasy) is that they're essentially very similar to Blizzard's franchises, except older, and (40K, at least) have immensely insane power levels with entire worlds getting shattered and battles involving millions and so forth. It's one of those fictional settings that involves truly cosmic scales, and there really should be an adaptation by the time that VR cinema becomes a mainstream thing. I also look forward to a film adaptation to the Culture novels, the Xeelee Sequence, and Greg Bear's stuff.

Basically what I'm saying is that a Starcraft movie would be made redundant by a 40K picture.
posted by Apocryphon at 5:17 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


I want to see a Dwarf Fortress movie that is really just 120000 minutes of footage that are procedurally combined into a 120 minute narrative randomly on each play of the film.
posted by bl1nk at 5:18 PM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]


Basically what I'm saying is that a Starcraft movie would be made redundant by a 40K picture.

A 40K picture would be nicely complemented by a Gaunt's Ghosts TV series. Think Band of Brothers except, y'know, it's Warhammer 40K oh my god
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:20 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Thrall Kart!

We would play the arse out of Thrall Kart at my house!
posted by glitter at 5:26 PM on January 26, 2016


The thing about Warhammer 40K (and Fantasy) is that they're essentially very similar to Blizzard's franchises, except older, and (40K, at least) have immensely insane power levels

Because of the insane scale, I think 40K has a lot of potential for little-guy struggle-to-survive (amidst that insane scale) movies - "District 9" meets "Cloverfield". Eg a group of simple people living life on some backwater imperial planet suddenly are desperately trying to survive a cleansing after the empire detected some kind of chaos influence or tyranid spore or whatever. They manage to make it through... which means the cleansing failed... which means an element of horror as now a similarly insane threat is growing within them as well.

Then, oh hell, they meet up with an unlikely group of rag-tag ship's crew because why not, it works everywhere else :)
posted by anonymisc at 5:29 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


Hearthstone is also a CCG with basically no plot

That seems ideal for film adaptation, because then you can just write a plot that works well as a movie, instead of shoehorning dozens of hours of semi-repetitive gameplay into 2 hours of story that are interesting and make sense.

When I say it's "ideal" I mean that maybe the results could wind up relatively less bad, like that Final Fantasy movie, which AFAICT also doesn't try to relate itself to any particular game or game plot arc. I.e., still terrible, but one of the least terrible video game movies of all time.
posted by aubilenon at 5:30 PM on January 26, 2016


The median Rotten Tomatoes score for attempts is 16%.

And that's only because Pixels, a film so horribly bad that it'd pull down the median to zero all by itself, isn't on the list.
posted by effbot at 5:35 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


The thing about Warhammer 40K (and Fantasy) is that they're essentially very similar to Blizzard's franchises, except older, and (40K, at least) have immensely insane power levels


(Obligatory) I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:35 PM on January 26, 2016 [16 favorites]


40K is also much more nihilistic than Warcraft in overall outlook. Warcraft is an optimistic story of heroism and coming together, and Warhammer is a bunch of differently evil forces fighting as the curtain finally goes down.
posted by Going To Maine at 5:41 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Also: why isn't there a movie of Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Witcher, Fallout, or Grand Theft Auto? Where's the Last of Us movie?

Of those, I would say only Grand Theft Auto is even close to the scale of WoW, in terms of a pre-sold audience that has shown a willingness to spend.

GTA V was released on September 17, 2013. That's 29 months. Let's make it a round 30 months.

You bought a copy for $60. Or maybe you bought it used. Or maybe a friend gave you a copy. Or maybe you never bought a copy, but you played it at your friend's house.

Over that same time period, every single WoW player on the planet paid at least $10 a month in access fees (although most paid more). So, $300. Not including expansions or other content. In the third quarter of 2015, WoW was sitting at 5 million subscribers, give or take.

5 million * 300 = $150 million.

That was the last 30 months, and that was a down period.

But wait, you say. This is GTA V we're talking about. Five. Three and Four were really big, too!

Yes. Yes, they were. Rockstar rewrote their tech and created completely new assets for each version.

WoW debuted 12 years ago. To a non-zero degree, it's the same tech, same assets. .

But GTA V shipped 54 million units!

Yes, yes they did. And they were all sold. They're not making any more.

Next month, 5 million WoW players will plunk down $10. And the next month after that ... and after that ...
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:51 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


Mortal Kombat is basically just a kung fu movie, which is why it's a) the video game movie closest to its source material and b) the best video game movie.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:54 PM on January 26, 2016


I expected it to be a gorgeous, terrible movie, and was astonished to see that it wasn't gorgeous at all. The way they've combined CGI and live-action looks--IMO, of course--simultaneously very expensive and ridiculous, and the live-action half looks like a school play. Any of their game cinematics from the last, like, 15 years looks a thousand times better than this.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 5:54 PM on January 26, 2016


As the kind of WoW player who role-played someone loyal to Thrall through thick and thin — Let me put it this way, I'm pretty sure every time I was ever in the throne room in Orgrimmar, I was alone. I always walked up to Thrall and used /kneel before I would talk to him. — I'm moderately hopeful I might like this movie.
posted by ob1quixote at 5:55 PM on January 26, 2016 [5 favorites]


Any of their game cinematics from the last, like, 15 years looks a thousand times better than this.

Seriously, they need to just have their cinematics team make a movie.
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:57 PM on January 26, 2016 [10 favorites]


And then there was Pirates of the Caribbean, based on a ride at Disneyland. I'm not sure why a movie should be judged by its source material medium, given how much movies based on books will throw out most of the book in order to make a movie. (Starship Troopers, iRobot, World War Z, just off the top of my head.)
posted by fragmede at 5:58 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Man they didn't wait long to reboot Hulk.
posted by benzenedream at 6:02 PM on January 26, 2016


Hearthstone is also a CCG with basically no plot, are we going to make a M:TG movie next? Pretty sure that'd turn out amazing!

WotC actually has a nice body of fiction and art treatments for the game. For that matter, so did Eve online, not that you ever saw any of that work in-game.

But then again, they made a Battleship movie.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 6:02 PM on January 26, 2016


Seriously, they need to just have their cinematics team make a movie.

A friend of a friend is one of the big shot cinematic designers on World O' Warcraft, and he consulted on the movie, so that kinda already happened.

Although, I don't think he answers to anyone on WoW, but I'm sure 100 studio people 'helped' on anything he did for the movie.
posted by sideshow at 6:02 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


According to legend, Jim Henson got two full movies out of late nights getting stoned with Brian Froud and looking at sketchbooks, so I could see a M:TG happening.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 6:05 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Micheal Bay just signed his next 12 movies reading this thread.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:08 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


so I could see a M:TG happening.

Briefly thought people were talking about making Metal: The Gearening.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:08 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh, if we're just talking card games that demand translation to the big screen, I hope they do a series of movies - a trilogy, say - based on The Lord of the Rings LCG! That would be awesome!
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:12 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


From opposing sides, two heroes are set on a collision course that will decide the fate of their family, their people and their home.

This is a romance, right?

I mean, I'd love to see a romantic comedy out if this ("Just wait until you meet the in-laws!"), but a romantic drama world be OK.

...Looking at it though, it's gonna be porn, isn't it.
posted by happyroach at 6:25 PM on January 26, 2016


Edge of Tomorrow was the best video game movie so far!

(that isn't actually based on a video game)
posted by bigendian at 6:42 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Hearthstone is also a CCG with basically no plot, are we going to make a M:TG movie next?

Errrrrrrrr… yes.
posted by brett at 6:44 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


There actually was a Polish-language Witcher movie made in 2001 - so before any of the video games. By all accounts it was pretty terrible.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 6:51 PM on January 26, 2016


lol this is going to be so hilariously bad

(mojo drifts off into reverie of how hard he used to school arathi basin back in the day, goddam us horde had that place on lockdown)
posted by Sebmojo at 6:54 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


The peaceful realm of Azeroth

Hmm

Yes, the peaceful realm alluded to in the title "World of Warcraft"
posted by clockzero at 7:04 PM on January 26, 2016 [4 favorites]


I honestly think it would be hard to make a trailer worse than that one. I shudder to think how bad this movie is going to be if these are the best scenes that they can string together in some barely comprehensible way.

And I say that as someone who can typically turn off my brain during a fair number of action movies.
posted by vuron at 7:05 PM on January 26, 2016


Mortal Kombat is basically just a kung fu movie, which is why it's a) the video game movie closest to its source material and b) the best video game movie.

Well yeah, they took a game based on the movie Enter the Dragon and made a movie based on Enter the Dragon. The best case for Warcraft is to be a competent, more actiony cartoonish LoTR adaption. Trailer looks horrible to me, would have preferred fully animated.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:06 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hmm, WoW has more players in Asia than in North America. Maybe the movie looks kind of cliche and has straightforward dialogue because the US is not the only audience in mind?
posted by FJT at 7:15 PM on January 26, 2016 [9 favorites]


Warhammer is a bunch of differently evil forces fighting as the curtain finally goes down.

Warhammer Fantasy wasn't nearly as hopeless until Games Workshop accelerated the end of the setting for the reboot, and killed off everyone, including off-screen places we didn't even get to explore yet (Cathay, Ind, Araby). So yes, it's less Disney than Warcraft became with WoW, but I don't think it was all that grimdark.

My previous post was more commenting on 40K vs Starcraft.
posted by Apocryphon at 7:26 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Maybe the movie looks kind of cliche and has straightforward dialogue because the US is not the only audience in mind?

The global market has been important in movies for quite a while now. More likely it’s cliche because that’s all it needs to be to make a buck, especially in parts of the world that can’t generally compete with Hollywood.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:51 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm pretty sure I'd watch the hell out of a Planescape: Torment movie, or fuck it, even Hero's Quest.

Oh I've got three little words for you.

Leisure.

Suit.

Larry.
posted by GuyZero at 8:03 PM on January 26, 2016 [6 favorites]


A 40K picture would be nicely complemented by a Gaunt's Ghosts TV series.

I would love this and I would watch it, but it really (really) needs to be written by Abnett. He's by far the best writer in that universe ("by far" = really damn good*), with everyone else reading like moderately competent fan fiction.

*not ashamed to say I cried at that scene in "Only In Death".
posted by longdaysjourney at 8:08 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm surprised they didn't go with a "prestige" TV series.
posted by grobstein at 8:09 PM on January 26, 2016


I'm sort of looking forward to the Ratchet and Clank movie... Except it feels like it'll just be a collection of cut-scenes thrown together. I mean 100% CGI, similar storylines. The writing and plot is pretty solid in the R&C games (gameplay is a little easy, but sometimes I like it that way).
posted by el io at 8:09 PM on January 26, 2016


I'm surprised they didn't go with a "prestige" TV series.

The film's been in production since before prestige TV shows were really what they are now. Sam Raimi was originally attached to direct, back in like 2006 or 2007.
posted by Pope Guilty at 8:11 PM on January 26, 2016


Hmm, WoW has more players in Asia than in North America. Maybe the movie looks kind of cliche and has straightforward dialogue because the US is not the only audience in mind?

There's no question about it! American movies depend on foreign markets more than ever these days, and dumb, loud, flashy, the-dialogue-doesn't-matter movies are an easy sell.
posted by clockzero at 8:18 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


With the Blizzard games, there's a lot of confusion between production quality and good storytelling. Because those games, their plot "twists" and their characters are about as cookiecutter as it gets. But they spend so much money on the cut scenes, and the whole point of cut scenes in an RTS is to tell the story, that they get associated in quality storytelling.
posted by thecjm at 9:09 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


Trailers can be deceiving but this does look terrible. Duncan Jones is really talented, though. Moon and Source Code are both damn good movies. So who knows but I feel like I dide when I saw the trailer for Noah and that movie was exactly like the trailer made it seem.
posted by saul wright at 9:10 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


Diablo I and II and Starcraft had some great stories in my view, after that...meh. The best part of the WoW story for me was the parts the player felt a part of, not the grand epic stuff.
posted by Drinky Die at 9:11 PM on January 26, 2016 [2 favorites]


Disney could hand the keys to the Star Wars franchise back to the guys who made KoToR 2. Five years later the fans could probably edit together a passable movie out of the footage. I kid because I love Obsidian, I kid because I love.
posted by Grimgrin at 9:26 PM on January 26, 2016 [1 favorite]


I also found a new TV Spot for the WarCraft film which has like maybe 3 seconds of new footage, tops.
posted by FJT at 9:36 PM on January 26, 2016


Also: why isn't there a movie of Dragon Age

I would do unspeakable things to get a good Dragon Age movie.

Seriously, whom do we need to blood magic to make this happen???
posted by Jacqueline at 9:41 PM on January 26, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is that time of year for movies, from now until nearly mid march all the films that ought not have been made, or got made by mistake, or went wrong somehow, or must be released for legal reasons, get released. For haters like me, it is a glorious time.

This comes out in June.
posted by jsnlxndrlv at 10:18 PM on January 26, 2016


For all of you dreaming of adaptations that could be or could have been, I direct you to the works of bloodrunsclear, previously.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:42 PM on January 26, 2016


Travis Fimmel? Jeez, what a waste

Someone who starred in the WB's Tarzan cannot be too proud.

This is going to be amazing and glorious and I've even never played the game.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 10:50 PM on January 26, 2016


Duncan Jones's short Whistle was ahead of its time, showing the moral issues of remote assassination, made in 2002, right around when the CIA made its first drone strike.

He said about his father:
In movies, he was the one who showed me 2001 and Ridley Scott's Blade Runner. So he really was the kind of guy who introduced me to all the things that excite me in science fiction.

His next movie is Mute, inspired by Philip K Dick's stories, which he's been wanting to make for a while, but got interrupted by this Warcraft thing.
posted by eye of newt at 12:05 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

What about "Kung Fury"?
posted by wenestvedt at 3:09 AM on January 27, 2016


5 million * 300 = $150 million

I'm pretty sure it's $1.5 billion, actually. Which is a lot of money, which is why everyone else wants to build a successful MMO even thought that seems to be impossible. GTA V made about $3 billion in those thirty months, though, which is, well, more, but yeah it took a lot more work.

They key, though, is that if you're trying to sell movie tickets, the 5 million WoW subscribers are going to buy a lot fewer movie tickets than the 54 million GTA V gamers.

But the reason we don't see movies of these games is that they're already better movies as games than the cinematic films would ever be. A "Last of Us" movie would basically be a remake, wouldn't it?
posted by anotherpanacea at 4:51 AM on January 27, 2016


The biggest reason for concern, in my mind, is just how long this has been in the works. It's been through many rewrites. And video game movies do have a bad history.

On the other hand, I like and trust Duncan Jones; if anyone can make a good video game movie, maybe it's him. He hasn't made a film yet that wasn't at least damn interesting. He used to play, and one of the cowriters wrote for Warcraft, Starcraft, and Diablo. Unlike a lot of you, I think the aesthetics of this look both impressive and correct. I'll go see this and expect to have fun. I had fun watching the trailer, thinking, "hey, I've been there!"

Duncan Jones: "Warcraft will right the wrongs of game movies"

P.S: anotherpanacaea, Sam Raimi, having moved on from this project in 2012, has now signed on to make a film version of The Last of Us. I agree, I don't understand how it could be more compelling than actual gameplay.

P.P.S: For the Horde!
posted by heatvision at 4:59 AM on January 27, 2016


I do not understand these mocapped, uncanny valley, not quite animated, but not really live action films. THey look *so* distractingly bad, I can't give the story a chance.
posted by DigDoug at 5:21 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


So based on the synopsis, this is going to be a devastating allegorical examination of colonialism, right?

No?
posted by ostro at 6:12 AM on January 27, 2016


A few thoughts:

A Lego: Batman movie exists, and I'm pretty sure that was just all the cut scenes from the game stitched together. Maybe not.

The Witcher movie is based on a series of books, not on a video game, to be pedantic.

I went to see Star Wars in 3D, and the first trailer in 3D was this one. It was an absolute horror. It was headache inducing in just a minute or two. I was really worried for the movie I had just paid to watch. Turns out it was just that trailer, so either they need to do a lot of work between now and release day, or it's going to be an almighty mess in 3D
posted by trif at 6:55 AM on January 27, 2016


While I am confident that the movie will be a bad one, I think the headache inducing thing is due to how 3D trailers work. I don't know if it's that they use a different technology or if it's that, as a trailer, individual cuts are shorter and thus make it impossible to figure out what's going on, but I am pretty much unable to make heads or tails out of any 3D trailers. I forgot to tell my dad this when we went to see Star Wars, his first 3D movie, and apparently through all of the many trailers he was sitting there thinking "What have I done, I can't figure out anything that's going on. Now I'm going to have to sit through an entire movie like this?" and was much relieved when the movie started and he found that the actual feature presentation was perfectly comprehensible.
posted by Bugbread at 7:04 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


I agree, I don't understand how it could be more compelling than actual gameplay.


It looks like The Last Of Us would require at least 15 hours of my life; a movie would only be like two, tops. That's much more compelling, right there.
posted by Greg Nog at 7:07 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


There's already a The Last Of Us movie; all the cut scenes from the game. It's about three hours long. I watched it because I don't have a PlayStation and it's never coming to Xbox. It deserves all the hype. Great story.

Huh. I can't find it on YouTube any more. Must have been taken down. that's a shame.
posted by trif at 7:18 AM on January 27, 2016


Maybe they can get Ellen Page to play herself in the Hollywood version?
posted by trif at 7:20 AM on January 27, 2016


Ridiculously massive weapons. . .

The humans have ridiculously massive weapons too. This is a picture of my eight year old son, making his most serious face, holding the human hero's actual sword at the Weta booth at ComicCon. Mostly obscured by the sword is his friend, who, yes, is cosplaying as Harley Quinn. My son is tiny. This I know. But he is not that tiny.
posted by The Bellman at 7:33 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


I feel like anybody in a decision-making capacity on this film said "People like Game of Thrones. Make it look like Game of Thrones." And never bothered to actually look at any of the Warcraft games.

It's just color. You don't have to be afraid of it.
posted by trunk muffins at 7:38 AM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


I always feel a little sorry for Duncan Jones, who is indeed David Bowie's son. He (the child of David Bowie, not David Bowie himself) deliberately goes by a very nondescript moniker and became reasonably famous in his own right without trading on his father's name (which was David Bowie). And yet, whether Duncan (Bowie Jr) Jones' name gets mentioned in the press, it always has the phrase ", son of David Bowie" attached. I image his decendents should just go with Davidbowieson as a surname.

That said, I am not too sorry for Duncan Jones. After all, he is David Bowie's son.
posted by AndrewStephens at 9:43 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


I don't feel sorry for Duncan Jones because he made a great movie (Moon) and a pretty good one (Source Code). I'm hoping Warcraft does well enough that he can take on another weird little project like Moon.
posted by straight at 10:11 AM on January 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


I hope he gets to make a Star War.
posted by Apocryphon at 10:34 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


My favorite part of the Mortal Kombat movie was the scene where they're chasing someone through the sewers. The guy in the lead is brushing aside huge cobwebs and saying, "I think she went this way!"
posted by straight at 10:39 AM on January 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


I thought about it as I worked my way through the thread and even knowing this was a Duncan Jones project is not enough to get me to see it.
posted by phearlez at 1:11 PM on January 27, 2016


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.
I think the Undertale movie could come out pretty well.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:36 PM on January 27, 2016


Warcraft? More like Borecraft amirite? There is the Emperor and there is war. Nothing else. Bring on the WH40K movie!
posted by MikeMc at 6:00 PM on January 27, 2016


I would love love love a WH40K movie, but there's just no way. Either the budget would be insane or the whole thing would be CG, and either I can't imagine Hollywood springing that kind of budget for a movie so bleak that it makes Lars von Trier movies look saccharinely happy in comparison.
posted by Bugbread at 6:39 PM on January 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


It is impossible to make a good movie based on a video game.

Disagree. Strongly Disagree. More accurately, "accepting popular assumptions of an audience's favorite qualities of a video game make it impossible adapt that video game into a good movie."

I've always argued Run Lola Run was a secret adaptation of a side scrolling platformer video-game a la Super Mario Brothers or Sonic the Hedgehog. It's fast-paced, simple, hyper-kinetic and abandons traditional shopworn tropes to build suspense, and instead gives the hero multiple lives to repeatedly subject her to mortal failure. And satisfyingly after finally mastering a series of near impossible challenges, it ends with her finally "beating the level" without much moralizing.

Similarly, Live Die Repeat a.k.a. Edge of Tomorrow was most directly adapted from Japanese manga, but spiritually the more...buoyant or even playful tone of the movie perfectly captures the impossible feat of combat action accomplishment from modern action adventure games like Fall-Out or Ninja Gaiden.

But for some reason 1990s movie executives assumed the thing people loved about Super Mario Brothers was... Italian plumbers in brightly colored overalls? A plot focused on anonymously sinister race of dinosaurs from another dimension? Again and again movies assume characters or plot are the secret to a popular video game and will draw an audience to video game movies.

In some ways, it makes sense that more ludicrous projects like The Lego Movie or John Depp Fancy Pirates end up being better. There's no real baggage to shoe horn into a movie based on Legos. Silly toys or plot-less amusement park ride give you an emotion which is always valid no matter what media vonveys, and is otherwise a tabula rasa.
posted by midmarch snowman at 8:40 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


There's no real baggage to shoe horn into a movie based on Legos.

No baggage? I'm really not sure about that. LEGO is one of the biggest toy companies. It's been around for over 50 years. There are huge groups of dedicated adult fans that organize into regional LUGs (Lego User Groups) all over the world. There are Lego artists, and I think it says something when Ai Wei Wei wasn't allowed to use Lego in one of his pieces and it made it into the news.

And finally, it's not "Legos". The plural of Lego is Lego, or Lego bricks if you want to be specific.
posted by FJT at 11:15 AM on January 28, 2016


To expand further, I think for a game like Fallout or even arguably WarCraft, the universe is largely already set so there's a more collective and singular experience. Folks talking about those things can talk about going through a linear story or at least participating in the same shared sandbox (like an MMO) as everyone else.

Lego is different, since it's a toy, a building medium, and also has stories around it (I'm including themed sets like Chima and Ninjago, as well as the Lego video games). Two people can both like Lego but the way they interact with it can be wildly different.

So, I think just because everyone brings their own baggage/experience with LEGO and there's a less singular experience with it, doesn't mean there's no baggage at all.
posted by FJT at 11:28 AM on January 28, 2016


They'd better not waste the opportunity to make a Leroy Jenkins joke.
posted by craven_morhead at 1:37 PM on January 29, 2016 [1 favorite]


They'd better not waste the opportunity to make a Leroy Jenkins yt joke.

I think one of the tragedies of game movies is that the "lore" never lives up to the wacky emergent shenanigans of the players.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 2:14 PM on January 29, 2016


Edge of Tomorrow was like a meta video game movie.
posted by Jacqueline at 9:20 PM on February 1, 2016


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