Crisis on Infinite '90s Childhoods
January 28, 2016 7:38 AM   Subscribe

Jared and Jerusha Hess, co-creators (in varying capacities) of Napoleon Dynamite, Nacho Libre, and Austenland, have signed up to write and direct NickToons, a shared-world movie featuring Nickelodeon-owned cartoon characters including Rugrats, Ren & Stimpy, Rocko’s Modern Life, Aaahh! Real Monsters, and The Angry Beavers.

This is not the first such experiment for Nickelodeon's movies arm -- Rugrats Go Wild, a Rugrats-Wild Thornberrys crossover, came out in 2003 to middling reviews and the lowest box-office receipts of both the Rugrats and Thornberrys franchises.
posted by Etrigan (65 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
 
Yeah, no.
posted by tobascodagama at 7:41 AM on January 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


Invader Zim or bust.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:42 AM on January 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


Needs Invader Zim. Just so we can show Little Timmy Turner is a floating brain in a tank being fed an AI simulation designed by Gir.

ZIM:"GIR! Get in here! Why are you torturing my child-brain with faries? Have you no horror-beasts? Have you no torment-a-tron painwave generators? What is this! WHAT IS THIS? WISHES?"

GIR: "I like it when they go poof!"
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:48 AM on January 28, 2016 [10 favorites]


I predict they'll all be turned loose in OUR WORLD and hijinks will ensue.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 7:49 AM on January 28, 2016 [9 favorites]


Is Viacom/Paramount the most creatively bankrupt company in Hollywood?
posted by 1970s Antihero at 7:51 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Look, I get that everyone wants their own shared universe property now, but Ren & Stimpy co-existing with Rugrats barely makes sense in the real universe, much less this Nickelodeon Cinematic Universe.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:53 AM on January 28, 2016 [32 favorites]


Well, WB via DC Comics just announced a gritty Hanna Barbera reboot. So...
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 7:53 AM on January 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


"Tomorrow we'll blast your quads.
posted by evilensky at 7:54 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


No Hey Arnold? Not interested.

Why not a Hey Arnold movie instead of this mess? I might actually go see that, and it makes sense as a full-length feature.
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:57 AM on January 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


off my lawn
posted by allthinky at 7:57 AM on January 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well, WB via DC Comics just announced a gritty Hanna Barbera reboot. So...

For the love of God don't Google this. The new Scooby Doo stuff will END YOU.
posted by selfnoise at 7:59 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Well, WB via DC Comics just announced a gritty Hanna Barbera reboot. So...

The announcement has pics of what's planned. The Scooby-Doo Apocalypse looks hilaribad, Wacky Races gone Mad Max has potential, and the Flintstones just look creepy... but I will buy Future Quest until my arms fall off because it's basically "bang together all the 60s cartoons and let Jeff Parker play with them." If they keep a sense of humor about it, it will be magnificent.
posted by delfin at 8:01 AM on January 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


For a real Crisis, we need a 26 year old Tommy Pickles from the original Rugrats that premiered in 1990 teaming up with a 26 year old Tommy Pickles from the All Grown Up (1993) spinoff in order to fight the Antimonitor, played by Powdered Toast Man.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:03 AM on January 28, 2016 [12 favorites]


Every generation gets the Mom And Dad Save The World reboot it deserves.
posted by pxe2000 at 8:03 AM on January 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


I had to check that Hanna Barbera article 10 times to make sure it wasn't from the Onion, or posted on April 1, or something.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:06 AM on January 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


The announcement has pics of what's planned.

They should have sent a poet.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:07 AM on January 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


Unless they can miraculously bring Christine Cavanaugh back to life, there is no chance of this working for anyone who has nostalgia for the originals. Oh, I'm still so sad about her!
posted by Mizu at 8:07 AM on January 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


I wonder if this casts too wide a net or if I'm just a little too old to hit the proper nostalgia mark. I watched the first crop of Nicktoons with Doug, Rugrats, Ren & Stimpy, and finally Rocko, but aged out of it by the time the rest came along. I have a passing interest in revisiting the characters I know, but Zim and Real Monsters mean nothing and do nothing for me. Now that's depressing - I'm getting too old for the childhood revivals to impact me.
posted by Servo5678 at 8:09 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just cartoons? No Hey Dude or Salute Your Shorts? Come on.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:09 AM on January 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


Now say it right or pay the price!
posted by I-baLL at 8:11 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


I guess...
(•_•)
( •_•)>⌐■-■
(⌐■_■)
...you CAN do that on television.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:15 AM on January 28, 2016 [42 favorites]


Needs Invader Zim.

No Hey Dude or Salute Your Shorts?


You guys have your generations all off, Hey Dude is too early and Zim is too late. The universally accepted era of "90's" nick shows spans the years of when my parents paid for cable to when they cruelly ripped it from my hands.
posted by Think_Long at 8:16 AM on January 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


Future Quest = yes. Although Venture Bros (which is returning next week finally) has raised the bar impossibly high on 60s-era cartoon pastiche.
posted by Queen of Robots at 8:20 AM on January 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


Look, we have the tool to fix this if it goes wrong. Right?
posted by graymouser at 8:24 AM on January 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


You guys have your generations all off, Hey Dude is too early and Zim is too late.

Hey Dude and You Can't Do That On Television were the shows I watched when they were age-appropriate. I skipped most of the '90s era because I was a teenager and had outgrown cartoons. I watched Invader Zim and Angry Beavers while stoned in college.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:26 AM on January 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


I could watch an entire hour of Melody from Josie & The Pussycats In Space talking world affairs with The Bleep.
posted by dr_dank at 8:28 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Wacky Races gone Mad Max has potential

I can't think of a more glorious disaster than a cartoon featuring Penelope Pitstop as Imperator Furiosa. Please make this.
posted by N-stoff at 8:28 AM on January 28, 2016 [10 favorites]


Think of the possibilities if this takes off.

Frank Miller's Catdog

Artie, the Strongest Man In The World Goes Nutzoid At Good Burger

Clarissa Explains Her Brief Hookup With Doug Funnie
posted by delfin at 8:32 AM on January 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


If this is where we're making requests a Space Cases reboot done by the right people actually would be fantastic. They were actually playing a Stick Stickley block the other night and it was everything I remembered.
posted by bleep at 8:34 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Future Quest looks awesome, but it makes me sad because there is no artist who could live up to the standards of Alex Toth.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 8:35 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Write to me
Stick Stickley
P. O. Box
Nine-Six-Three
New York City
New York State
One-Oh-One-Oh-Eight!


Sometimes I want to send mail to that PO Box number. I wonder who owns it now?
posted by chainsofreedom at 8:36 AM on January 28, 2016 [17 favorites]


Just cartoons? No Hey Dude or Salute Your Shorts? Come on.

No, really, they are doing the right thing by not Napoleon Dynamite-ing those shows. They don't need any more ironic-omg-so-random scrunchie jokes or weird racial stuff or other Mormon-tinged clean humor.

Let 'em make the shared-world animation mistake and deplete their resources there.
posted by witchen at 8:42 AM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


I can't think of a more glorious disaster than a cartoon featuring Penelope Pitstop as Imperator Furiosa. Please make this.

Witness me, Muttley! Shiny and Chrome!

Artie, the Strongest Man In The World Goes Nutzoid At Good Burger

"Welcome to Goodburger... HOME of *the* Goodburger, nnnnyand may I take *your* order, good citizen? For I am Artie! The Strongest Assistant Manager... in the WORLD! Beware my drivethru headset, for it is mighty!"

Actually, come to think of it, a Tick/Artie crossover would be about the best thing ever.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:44 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


No, really, they are doing the right thing by not Napoleon Dynamite-ing those shows. They don't need any more ironic-omg-so-random scrunchie jokes or weird racial stuff or other Mormon-tinged clean humor.

You're probably right, but I have just enough fondness for those shows, without being super attached to either of them that I could find it fine personally (probably). My real favorite Nick show wasn't a Nick produced show (Duckula), so that is presumably safe from their claws.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:46 AM on January 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


The announcement has pics of what's planned. The Scooby-Doo Apocalypse looks hilaribad, Wacky Races gone Mad Max has potential, and the Flintstones just look creepy... but I will buy Future Quest until my arms fall off because it's basically "bang together all the 60s cartoons and let Jeff Parker play with them." If they keep a sense of humor about it, it will be magnificent.

Somebody already brought this up, but ... yeah. Venture Brothers already did that.
posted by kafziel at 8:47 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Gnyaaaah.
posted by egypturnash at 8:58 AM on January 28, 2016


I wonder what John K. thinks about this. I find the sheer fucked relationship between Nickelodeon and most of its creators to be fascinating. Also, does Disney still have the rights to Doug? Oh, to have been a fly on the wall when THAT went down.
posted by SansPoint at 8:59 AM on January 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


I want an Aeon Flux / Sifl N Olly crossover series.
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:06 AM on January 28, 2016 [9 favorites]


I'm with SansPoint in wondering what John K. thinks about all this, but even though this would not be my cup of tea under any stretch of the imagination, I can't lie, there is one thing this project would bring to me that would be sheer joyousness.

Tom Kenny.

As Heffer.

One of my favorite cartoon characters ever, and one of my favorite voices done by Tom Kenny. In so many instances, you can always tell its Tom Kenny when you're listening to voice acting. SpongeBob and Ice King jump out at you, you recognize that voice. It wasn't until years later did I realize that the weird guy I loved so much on Mr. Show I had actually previously loved as a fat cow. In my opinion, Heffer is genuinely his most distinct and unique voice that is unlike his own. Everything else, you can still mostly tell its Kenny, and once you know Heffer is Kenny, you can tell, but in my childhood I would have never guessed.

I mean, I can't be the only one who thinks that most of the NickToons genuinely sucked other than Ren & Stimpy (during the John K. days, it genuinely did suck afterwards), Rocko's Modern Life (which would in itself eventually spawn SpongeBob, as Hillenberg worked on RML initially), and Hey Arnold (I actually hated the animation for this show, but it was just so damn smart and aware in ways that other shows were not.).

But yeah, give me Heffer and we'll call it good.
posted by deadaluspark at 9:08 AM on January 28, 2016 [5 favorites]


Also there just WAS a Scooby Doo reboot that started ridiculous and fun, and ended with an important secondary character getting machine-gunned off-camera, with Harlan Ellison as a Time Lord as a cherry on top. Why reboot it already when the world needs more Mystery Incorporated?
posted by Elementary Penguin at 9:10 AM on January 28, 2016 [11 favorites]


Well, it'll keep Viacom's Intellectual Properties lawyers fully occupied for the next couple years... (I'm an Angry Beavers partisan myself - I'll bet its producers would love another chance to go 'meta' after their original 'series finale' was killed in mid-production - besides, once you have Richard Steven Horvitz on hand doing Daggett Beaver, he's there for Invader Zim)

As for the 'gritty' Hanna-Barbera, Mad Max Wacky Races is not a new idea, and after Space Ghost Coast to Coast there is NO WAY anybody can take that seriously... not to mention what Venture Brothers has done to Jonny Quest... And I thought they already went 'gritty' with the CGI Yogi Bear movie...
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:20 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


the Flintstones just look creepy...

Not surprisingly, though, Betty is still the fox.
posted by yhbc at 9:22 AM on January 28, 2016


Jared and Jerusha Hess and two of the most unapologetically weird filmmakers working nowadays, to such an extent that I sometimes can't believe their movies get made at all. I will be curious to see what happens with this project.
posted by maxsparber at 9:25 AM on January 28, 2016


If you're going to do an animation-crossover film, at least go high-concept.

Make a movie that only includes characters voiced by Billy West.
posted by schmod at 9:55 AM on January 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


In hindsight, Bill Watterson's decision to retire and refuse to sell or license his content is looking awfully good right now.
posted by schmod at 9:56 AM on January 28, 2016 [12 favorites]


with Harlan Ellison as a Time Lord as a cherry on top.

It ended with Harlan Ellison inviting the gang to study in his paranormal phenomena class on the East Coast... at Miskatonic University.

And that meant a cross-country road trip which it was implied was the setup for the classic Scooby-Doo Where Are You? series.
posted by JHarris at 10:02 AM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Now we just need a mystery that needs the combined efforts of the Scooby Gang, the Funky Phantom, the Clue Club, Goober and the Ghost Chasers, Speed Buggy, Josie and the Pussycats, Jabberjaw, Buford, Captain Caveman, and Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kids to solve. It might involve Trump's candidacy.
posted by delfin at 10:26 AM on January 28, 2016


needs more Predator + Alien
posted by philip-random at 10:32 AM on January 28, 2016


A veritable Roti Sans Pareil of cartoonery.
posted by Bob Regular at 10:34 AM on January 28, 2016


I'm still waiting for the reboot of Nick game shows like Guts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and Double Dare into grim-n-gritty, kill-or-be-killed Hunger Games/Running Man/SAW-like competitions.
posted by FJT at 10:49 AM on January 28, 2016 [8 favorites]


I predict they'll all be turned loose in OUR WORLD and hijinks will ensue.

Like there are alien monsters stealing talent from, I dunno, basketball players or something, and the NickToons are the only ones who can save the Earth.
posted by tobascodagama at 11:47 AM on January 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


Don't give Kobe any ideas.
posted by Etrigan at 12:04 PM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wacky Races gone Mad Max

You mean Redline?
posted by picklenickle at 12:49 PM on January 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


After putting some initial ideas in place, DiDio sought out creative teams, going after the best of the best and securing artists and writers such as DC co-publisher and veteran artist Jim Lee, Jeff Parker (Aquaman) and Howard Porter (Superman). But DiDio was firm about letting his creative teams take the reins. “What you’ll see is that Amanda Connor really looked at the Flintstones and found a way to move them forward, event though they’re set in the past,”

Jesus if I knew anyone forced to take part in this shitshow I would buy them a bottle of rotgut whisky.
posted by benzenedream at 1:11 PM on January 28, 2016


I'm still waiting for the reboot of Nick game shows like Guts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and Double Dare into grim-n-gritty, kill-or-be-killed Hunger Games/Running Man/SAW-like competitions.

Was anyone else appalled at the kids from Legend of the Hidden temple's listening comprehension. How did they find children so unable to listen to a four sentence story? Maybe it was because they had all just survived almost drowning and were slightly distracted I don't know...
posted by edbles at 1:12 PM on January 28, 2016 [7 favorites]


I'm still waiting for the reboot of Nick game shows like Guts, Legends of the Hidden Temple, and Double Dare into grim-n-gritty, kill-or-be-killed Hunger Games/Running Man/SAW-like competitions.

Shoot, they yelled at those poor kids enough during Guts that it was basically the Hunger Games already . . .
posted by chainsofreedom at 1:43 PM on January 28, 2016 [6 favorites]


Ha ha, good luck trying to convert Brak back into something other than a goofy teen.
posted by rhizome at 2:07 PM on January 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


Omg. Redline looks eye-meltingly good.

Edited for typo
posted by Faintdreams at 2:44 PM on January 28, 2016


Cartoon crossover day is a very dangerous day.
posted by crashlanding at 4:29 PM on January 28, 2016


You guys have your generations all off, Hey Dude is too early and Zim is too late. The universally accepted era of "90's" nick shows spans the years of when my parents paid for cable to when they cruelly ripped it from my hands.

From my perspective, the definitive Nickelodeon team-up movie would be six hours of Pinwheel occasionally punctuated by either extra-dimensional talking koala bears, Gnomes or maybe The Little Prince if you were really lucky.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:59 PM on January 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


Don't forget Inspector Gadget! Oh wait.
posted by FJT at 5:06 PM on January 28, 2016


From my perspective, the definitive Nickelodeon team-up movie would be six hours of Pinwheel occasionally punctuated by either extra-dimensional talking koala bears, Gnomes or maybe The Little Prince if you were really lucky.

How about Today's Special?
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:58 PM on January 28, 2016 [3 favorites]


Someone decided that Millennials had some spare pocket change, huh? We're all real 90s kids now.
posted by maryr at 6:16 PM on January 28, 2016


We're all real 90s kids now.

One of the most brutal parts about approaching my middle-age was recognizing that the local "Alternative" station was mostly playing moldy oldies from the '90s, with a smattering of recent stuff, and these awesome, boundary-breaking songs are now just sing-alongs for old people.

So. I turned to streaming. I have an iPhone, I am one of the six of us subscribing to Slacker. I tap-swiped up the "New Alternative Now!" station.

Iggy Pop's "Gardenia" is the first song up. Goddamn if it wasn't better than the utter crap that followed... more honest and lewd and self-mocking than the young and dumb pop-punk-grunge-I-hate-you-all revival. Skip... skip... skip...

I recognized Holy White Hounds as Stoner Metal - Take Monster Magnet, and make them more Monster Magnet-Like, that's Stoner Metal - and I knew Slacker was telling me, no. There is no new music for you. Enjoy teens discovering sex in music, and live vicariously through them!

Fuck that. "Gardenia" is an awesome song. More, plz.

Then "Oh, Be Clever" came on, and wow, that was very good.

So, Between Holy White Hounds, Oh, Be Clever and Iggy Pop, I may just, perhaps, really like music these days. Damn kids.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:51 PM on January 28, 2016


Is Viacom/Paramount the most creatively bankrupt company in Hollywood?

Well, rebooting (and ruining) old cartoons isn't exactly new to them. Popeye much?
posted by Sys Rq at 11:51 PM on January 28, 2016 [1 favorite]


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