"I didn't expect it to be very driver friendly,"
February 11, 2016 4:28 PM   Subscribe

Behold, the World's Fastest Log Car [Road and Track]
"THE FIRST TIME YOU SEE IT, your brain almost short circuits—nope, uh-uh, that's not real. But it is, and it is exactly what it looks like: a tree car. More specifically, it is a car made out of a western red cedar log with a concave mouth for a "grille", a wooden roll bar and wooden fenders, and a pair of turbines protruding from its rear. The thing looks ludicrous, like something a crazed Woody the Woodpecker would drive, or maybe a George Barris creation if he had ever gotten lost in the Pacific Northwest with an axe and a flask of whiskey. It gets better: The log car is rear-wheel drive, uses the mechanicals from a Mazda RX-7, and is powered by eight lithium-ion batteries. More than 500 pounds of them. Why? Why would someone do this, you might ask. And who? Who in the world would devote time to such a project? Also, what? What were they smoking? Must've been some potent stuff."
posted by Fizz (38 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
That looks like something out of Wacky Racers.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:35 PM on February 11, 2016 [7 favorites]


I so want to wear my T-Rex costume and drive around in that car.
posted by barchan at 4:38 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


Paging Barney Rubble.
posted by ckape at 4:44 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


That looks like something out of Wacky Racers.

It does! I would maybe be up for a live action version of that, now, if they actually built all the cars, Fury Road style.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:47 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's log! It's log!
It's big and heavy and wood!
It's log! It's log!
It's better than bad, it's good!
posted by eriko at 4:52 PM on February 11, 2016 [17 favorites]


This is one of those graphics screw ups. The initials, or logo of Road and Track, looks like ROT.
posted by Oyéah at 5:04 PM on February 11, 2016


Now there's something you don't see every day, Edgar.
What's that, Chauncey?
A 'rodded log.
posted by ardgedee at 5:05 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


The log car, looks crazed wicked!
posted by Oyéah at 5:06 PM on February 11, 2016


How many hours have they logged? Seems like a splinter group to me. Nevertheless, I'll root for them.
posted by crazylegs at 5:07 PM on February 11, 2016 [7 favorites]


I bet it would drift really well though.
posted by Flashman at 5:10 PM on February 11, 2016 [8 favorites]


Will it race in the Ind-tree-500?
posted by lalochezia at 5:11 PM on February 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


I suppose many of the design processes were made with the aid of log tables.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:12 PM on February 11, 2016 [5 favorites]


It is quintessential rocket-tree.
posted by Oyéah at 5:16 PM on February 11, 2016 [4 favorites]


"What does the O stand for?"

"Nothing."
posted by Death and Gravity at 5:16 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Presumably, they'll branch out shortly. Perhaps turn a new leaf and develop log minivans? As long as that doesn't sap their focus.
posted by thomas j wise at 5:16 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


Chittree chittree bang bang. The General Tree. A Maseratree.
posted by lalochezia at 5:19 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Lamburlghini?

I've...got nothing more to add, except that it's a splendid execution of a rather questionable idea.
posted by mosk at 5:27 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


It does! I would maybe be up for a live action version of that, now, if they actually built all the cars, Fury Road style.

Would you accept a comic book?
posted by NoxAeternum at 5:32 PM on February 11, 2016


So so very disappointed the turbines aren't the real power source.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 5:37 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


Most excellent.
posted by freakazoid at 5:45 PM on February 11, 2016


If it gets into a wreck it will be a dendre-bender.

Fun fact: the symbol for a tree and other woody plants in Linnaeus's Species Plantarum is also the astronomical symbol for Saturn. So one could totally make an awesome pun around that and what they could have named the car! And also, you know, it could be a double pun. . around the rings. . . of Saturn. . . yeah.

*kicks dirt* Not a very fun pun, though, with all that explaining.

*as part of his system that also gave us the symbols we associate with gender too
posted by barchan at 5:50 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Slowest Log Car.
posted by The White Hat at 5:55 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


I bet it's a bitch to find a barking space, though.
posted by lock sock and barrel at 6:04 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


I didn't read the whole article. Were those jet engines mounted on the back?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 6:09 PM on February 11, 2016


Those jet engines didn't seem to be functional, just added to enhance the hot rod/log crossover theme.
I would've liked to see it without them. Also with slices of tree trunk for wheel covers.
posted by Flashman at 6:15 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sigh. I consider the 1990s RX-7 to be the most beautiful car ever made (dollar for dollar at least) and would love to get an electric conversion of one.

I've got 3000 miles on my Leaf now, so after the lease is paid off, maybe . . .
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 6:19 PM on February 11, 2016


"What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs
rolls over your neighbor's dog?
What's great for a snack and fits on your back?
It's Log, Log, Log!

It's Log, Log, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood.
It's Log, Log, it's better than bad, it's good!
Everyone wants a log! You're gonna love it, Log!
Come on and get your log! Everyone needs a Log!"

posted by blue_beetle at 6:37 PM on February 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


I built one of these in Cub Scouts, only it was smaller.
posted by lagomorphius at 7:01 PM on February 11, 2016 [11 favorites]


Looking at this car makes me happy. So frivolous and wonderful.
posted by jcworth at 7:12 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wow, that record is some serious low hanging fruit.
posted by Mitheral at 7:23 PM on February 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


A log driver's waltz pleases girls completely.
posted by jeather at 7:27 PM on February 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


I think this is awesome, but the article is so grating with the "who would do this?" and the "what were they smoking?" (seriously?) Does the typical Road & Track reader really need this type of framing when faced with something out of the ordinary?
posted by gimli at 7:29 PM on February 11, 2016


Sigh. I consider the 1990s RX-7 to be the most beautiful car ever made (dollar for dollar at least) and would love to get an electric conversion of one.

Did you go to prom in this?
posted by sebastienbailard at 1:43 AM on February 12, 2016


I bet it's a bitch to find a barking space, though.
It'd be great if it could be turned vertically when parked.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:35 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


I bet it's a bitch to find a barking space, though.

More of a birch, actually ...
posted by oheso at 4:39 AM on February 12, 2016


Please tell me there's a video of this thing driving over a series of rumble-strips
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Entitled log-rhythm.
posted by penguinicity at 4:41 AM on February 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'd like to see this go up against the Adobe.
posted by gehenna_lion at 7:14 AM on February 12, 2016


The ultimate Pinewood derby winner! This scout had a really clever Dad to build this for him. The other Dads hang their heads in shame (for everyone whose kid was ever traumatized by that awful Cub Scout race).
posted by mermayd at 9:32 AM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


« Older Thinking Outside the Bike Box   |   "Why doesn't she just leave him?" Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments