Danglerack Cuckooclock
February 12, 2016 5:34 PM   Subscribe

FIRST, there was the Benedict Cumberbatch Name Generator.
NOW? If you have Python installed, there is module cumberbatch.
> pip install cumberbatch
[...]
>>> cumberbatch.full()
'Fragglerock Cabbagepatch'
>>> cumberbatch.full()
'Bendandsnap Covergirl'
>>> cumberbatch.full()
'Bakery Capncrunch'

> python
Python 2.7.10 (default, May 23 2015, 09:40:32) [MSC v.1500 32 bit (Intel)] on win32
[...]
>>> import cumberbatch
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Cogglesnatch Curdlesnoot'
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Danglerack Cuckooclock'
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Brewery Crackersprout'
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Bonnydoon Rivendell'
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Bedlington Crackersprout'
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Syphilis Covergirl'
>>> cumberbatch.full(False)
'Honkytonk Chesterfield'
>>> joy
Traceback (most recent call last):
  File "", line 1, in 
NameError: name 'joy' is not defined
>>> help(cumberbatch)
Help on package cumberbatch:

NAME
    cumberbatch - Generates random English names similar to Benedict Cumberbatch.
[...]
    class Lists(__builtin__.object)
     |  Most content mercilessly and unrepentantly pirated from
     |  http://benedictcumberbatchgenerator.tumblr.com/
[...]
FUNCTIONS
    first(clean=True)
        A randomized English first name.
        :param clean: If false, returns some names your boss may find objectionable

    full(clean=True)
        A randomized full English name.
        :param clean: If false, returns some names your boss may find objectionable

    last(clean=True)
        A randomized English last name.
        :param clean: If false, returns some names your boss may find objectionable
>>> 
posted by JHarris (44 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
Dammit. Winners ship.
posted by gwint at 5:38 PM on February 12, 2016 [10 favorites]


My favourite will always be Britishname Cumbersome.
posted by Palindromedary at 5:42 PM on February 12, 2016 [14 favorites]


Oh no! Sorry about that gwint. Hey, maybe you can keep going with your project, and be the disruptive force in Benedict Cumberbatch name generators that forces the original folks to make you a eight-figure buyout offer, that you can then take gleefully and then disappear into the night?
posted by JHarris at 5:43 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


Actually, my purpose is much darker. I'm printing nine billion of them to see if in the end he disappears.
posted by gwint at 6:16 PM on February 12, 2016 [33 favorites]


As someone with an easy to mock name I just don't get why there is a fascination in mocking someone's name, especially a last name.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 6:22 PM on February 12, 2016 [7 favorites]


I was planning on coming in here to say that's what it does without being passed any params, but what about overloads?

clean=False, you say? Well played.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 6:24 PM on February 12, 2016


Fun fact: Knicks star Kristaps Porzingis got his name from an alpha version of this.
posted by Zonker at 6:30 PM on February 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


No more foos or bars ever again.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:32 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


chamberpot cumberbund
posted by mazola at 6:36 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hoppitamoppita
Benedict Cumberbatch
Draws imitations and
Other such games:

Uncomplimentary
hexasyllabically
sesquipedalian
Quite silly names.
posted by aws17576 at 6:36 PM on February 12, 2016 [21 favorites]


As someone with an easy to mock name I just don't get why there is a fascination in mocking someone's name, especially a last name.

I wouldn’t say it’s about mocking Benny Crumbles’ first or last names in isolation, but rather that the combination has just hit the right notes of being impossibly British. It’s also a kind of affectionate jab that exists outside of the man’s work; there might be a world in which jabs over “Benedict Cumberbatch”’s name hurt his career, but it isn’t this one.
posted by Going To Maine at 6:37 PM on February 12, 2016 [8 favorites]


Balderdash Cottagecheese
posted by mikemacman at 6:38 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]




As someone with an easy to mock name I just don't get why there is a fascination in mocking someone's name, especially a last name.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a


I'd have thought you'd be safe from mocking - I can't think of anything that rhymes with that!
posted by Daily Alice at 6:43 PM on February 12, 2016 [7 favorites]


Wow, it's like diceware for usernames.
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:01 PM on February 12, 2016


Also, if you value your family's security, give your daughters and pets high entropy names. Try to move to a town with weird Unicode characters in the name. Don't get too nuts, though. You can't just call a cat ;;"=🐋🍕and expect the poor bank website to follow along!
posted by mccarty.tim at 7:05 PM on February 12, 2016 [6 favorites]


Given that JHarris authored this post, I'd like to state that my favorite Benedict Cumberbatch alternate name is Gutter Bumberchute.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:35 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


It doesn't have the right cadence, but I'll accept it.
posted by JHarris at 7:37 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, if you value your family's security, give your daughters and pets high entropy names.

"Did you really name your son Robert'); DROP TABLE students;--?"
"Oh yes, little Bobby Tables, we call him."
posted by leotrotsky at 7:37 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


Bobbytables Servercrash.
posted by eriko at 7:40 PM on February 12, 2016 [9 favorites]


The best one is still, and will forever be, Poodlepoop Poopledoop.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 7:42 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


It doesn't have the right cadence, but I'll accept it.

So important. The Rules For Summoning Benedict Cumberbatch.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:48 PM on February 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


As someone with an easy to mock name I just don't get why there is a fascination in mocking someone's name, especially a last name.
I wouldn’t say it’s about mocking Benny Crumbles’ first or last names in isolation, but rather that the combination has just hit the right notes of being impossibly British.


This is how I've always understood it, a joke similar in spirit to the passage in Gravity's Rainbow concerning Mrs. Quoad's horrendous English candies.
posted by invitapriore at 8:00 PM on February 12, 2016 [1 favorite]


He'll always be plain old Benny Crumbles to me.
posted by Artw at 8:01 PM on February 12, 2016


I'm reminded of jason_steakums, "yesweare bunchofdicks" the last time someone pointed out this was a thread that consisted in mocking someone's name.
posted by persona au gratin at 8:03 PM on February 12, 2016 [5 favorites]


Zingelbert Bembledack
Tringelbert Wangledack
Slut Bunwalla
Klingybun Fistelvase
Dindlebert Zindledack
Gerry Dorsey
Engelbert Humptyback
Zengelbert Bingledack
Engelbert Humperdinck
Vingelbert Wingledanck...
posted by Foosnark at 9:04 PM on February 12, 2016 [10 favorites]


Bendydick Cumberbunt
posted by Sebmojo at 10:00 PM on February 12, 2016


Actually, my purpose is much darker. I'm printing nine billion of them to see if in the end he disappears.

We all just assumed you were fostering hundreds of thousands of baby otters and were having trouble with new names.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:30 PM on February 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm reminded of jason_steakums, "yesweare bunchofdicks" the last time someone pointed out this was a thread that consisted in mocking someone's name.
  1. Famous actors are in a special place here, due to the intersection of general ubiquity, inescapableness and huge wads of cash.
  2. This is about the most toothless name mocking possible. It feels more like a celebration, in a way that people making fun of M. Night Shyamalan's doesn't, because we're a lot closer in terms of linguistic roots to English names, and because his name does have a certain appealing cadence to it. Of course some people will use it to derisively mock Mr. Cumberbatch, but I reckon those people actually have other, bigger beefs with him than just the name his parents gave him.
posted by JHarris at 10:47 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


It feels more like a celebration, in a way that people making fun of M. Night Shyamalan's doesn't, because we're a lot closer in terms of linguistic roots to English names, and because his name does have a certain appealing cadence to it.

To be fair, there is a lot more to celebrate in Cumberbatch's body of work than in Shyamalan's.

Wimbledon Tennismatch
posted by flabdablet at 11:19 PM on February 12, 2016 [4 favorites]


Bonerlick Cumonmysnatch? too rude?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:01 AM on February 13, 2016


Also, if you value your family's security, give your daughters and pets high entropy names. Try to move to a town with weird Unicode characters in the name. Don't get too nuts, though. You can't just call a cat ;;"=🐋🍕and expect the poor bank website to follow along!

Don't forget to come from a culture that uses non-BMP characters to represent dates!
posted by iffthen at 2:00 AM on February 13, 2016


. . . because his name does have a certain appealing cadence to it.

It’s in 6/8 time.
posted by D.C. at 4:08 AM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


It’s in 6/8 time.

Well now I feel lazy always saying it like: ♬♪ ♬♪
posted by supercres at 5:35 AM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


Malkovich Malkovich
posted by erniepan at 6:27 AM on February 13, 2016 [3 favorites]


Pandabear Bamboothatch
Zanzibar cuminpatch
Hamncheese manwichbun
posted by Chrischris at 6:49 AM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


This rude one came up....
Snorkledink Cankersore.
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:55 AM on February 13, 2016


Zingelbert Bembledack
Tringelbert Wangledack
Slut Bunwalla
Klingybun Fistelvase
Dindlebert Zindledack
Gerry Dorsey
Engelbert Humptyback
Zengelbert Bingledack
Engelbert Humperdinck
Vingelbert Wingledanck...
posted by Foosnark at 12:04 AM on February 13 [6 favorites +] [!]


Aw, shucks. I was coming to post almost this exact thing....especially Slutbun Walla - I hear the "bun" on the first name, not the second....but I might be hearing it incorrectly. :)
posted by Thistledown at 7:50 AM on February 13, 2016


Brand new PC, JHarris. I just installed python to play with this. Top hits.
Blasphemy Cunnilingus
Boobytrap Crucifix
Benjamin Fettywap
Burgerking Kryptonite

posted by DigDoug at 9:25 AM on February 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Blasphemy Cunnilingus is my World of Darkness name.
posted by Artw at 11:13 AM on February 13, 2016


I now have every fake user name I ever need for testing. This is perfect.

'Beezlebub Upperclass' is such an amazing name that I may need to stand up a new account here.
posted by MysticMCJ at 2:40 PM on February 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


The best one is still, and will forever be, Poodlepoop Poopledoop.
Far and away; the fact that it's a BC palindrome makes it worthy of a MacArthur genius grant in my opinion.
posted by GospelofWesleyWillis at 4:24 PM on February 13, 2016 [2 favorites]


I was really hoping the module somehow embodied the prosodic essence of Benedict Cumberbatch instead of combining hardcoded lists of preselected words.

Sifting through random egreps of the dictionary for alternating consonants and vowels with the right pattern is kind of fun:

Burglarproof Crispiness
Bolshevik Crackerjack
Billabong Chlamydeous
Bungalow Chickenfight
Bangladesh Chimneysweep
posted by mubba at 5:04 PM on February 13, 2016 [1 favorite]


Bolshevik Crackerjack is his working class nemesis.
posted by Artw at 5:25 PM on February 13, 2016 [3 favorites]


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