Hazard cone? Where?

February 16, 2016 4:39 AM

To start your Tuesday morning: Pets that are stuck but pretending everything is fine.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (46 comments total)

My take-away:

1. Dogs are idiots.
2. Dogs believe a look of innocence will be believed.
3. Cats miscalculate.
4. Cats believe that looking angry will cause us to forget they miscalculated.

(on preview, except for that kitten caught in the plant, that's more of a dog look)
posted by HuronBob at 5:00 AM on February 16, 2016 [19 favorites]

man i laughed myself into a tizzy and then felt bad. don't get stuck, my animal friends!
posted by angrycat at 5:03 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

That shibe doge stuck between the fence and the wall is killing me. Much fence, very wall, &c.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:03 AM on February 16, 2016 [21 favorites]

Sad and Useless, exactly.
posted by unliteral at 5:06 AM on February 16, 2016

Here is my dog stuck in a bra.
posted by phunniemee at 5:10 AM on February 16, 2016 [30 favorites]

That cat isn't stuck in that bagel, that's how I eat them too.
posted by Pendragon at 5:15 AM on February 16, 2016 [24 favorites]

I think the cat with the bagel frankly won. What if you lived in a world where you had a bagel ALL THE TIME.
posted by eriko at 5:23 AM on February 16, 2016 [32 favorites]

Stoics are are those of few words. Carry on.
posted by waving at 5:26 AM on February 16, 2016

That one dog near the end looks like it's inbred.
posted by entropicamericana at 5:28 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

The cat with the slinky isn't stuck. That cat is doing Science!

Or maybe Philosophy!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:29 AM on February 16, 2016 [8 favorites]

The cat with the slinky isn't stuck. That cat is doing Science!

Or maybe Philosophy!

Or mushrooms.
posted by yesster at 5:34 AM on February 16, 2016 [38 favorites]

The cat with the slinky isn't stuck. That cat is doing Science!

No, they're just slinking away.
posted by zamboni at 5:41 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

The cat with the bagel: "I know, I'll lick my way out!"
posted by doozer_ex_machina at 5:47 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

I see the cat apologists are out in full force today.
posted by triggerfinger at 6:38 AM on February 16, 2016 [7 favorites]

You say that as though cats need an apology!
posted by JDHarper at 6:38 AM on February 16, 2016 [6 favorites]

A user by the handle Twilight Error posted this photo some years back to Adventure Rider.
posted by workerant at 6:42 AM on February 16, 2016 [7 favorites]

That frenchie puppy isn't stuck in the dish washer. That frenchie has found nirvana.
posted by Windigo at 6:51 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Dogs are idiots.

#NotAllDogs #ButYesMyDogIsNotTheSharpest
posted by filthy light thief at 7:01 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

You know what would be really funny? If a cat got wedged in a scanner? I'd like to see what crazy shenanigans might follow from that!
posted by Segundus at 7:01 AM on February 16, 2016 [6 favorites]

I did not think this through.
posted by cmfletcher at 7:04 AM on February 16, 2016 [27 favorites]

That puppy is not pretending that everything is fine. Also, what a beautiful dog head.
posted by angrycat at 7:07 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

"It's cool. No seriously. It's all good."

Also, shiba inus are all of the hilarious.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:14 AM on February 16, 2016

That one dog near the end looks like it's inbred.

At first I was all "Goddamnit, Metafilter, are you seriously giving a link to some cute dog photos the 'Here's why you're a bad person who should feel bad about liking this thing' treatment?"

Then I looked at the dog near the end and I LOL'd.
posted by usonian at 7:33 AM on February 16, 2016 [5 favorites]

I really want to see the video where they remove that Husky from the couch... I REALLY want to see it.

(note: My Husky stuck under the futon)
posted by HuronBob at 7:34 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

dogs: this isn't my fault
cats: this is entirely your fault
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:38 AM on February 16, 2016 [22 favorites]

It's cool, it's cool, I got the fly.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:49 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

dogs: this isn't my fault
cats: this is entirely your fault

I think one of my favorite differences between (most) dogs and (most) cats is that when you catch them doing something wrong, dogs shrink a bit and look guilty. Cats will freeze, stare at you, but otherwise remain motionless until you look away, like you're the t-rex from JP and your visual acuity is based on movement.

My dog, however, I think might be a sociopath (read: cat) because when I catch him doing something bad, not only does he not look guilty, he'll freeze entirely except for the one part of him actively doing the bad thing, and lock eyes with me while brazenly continuing to chew on crayons.
posted by phunniemee at 8:05 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

That dog with its head in the root beer box had some help. Possibly from a cat.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:22 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

That shibe is amazing.

"Hmm. I'm stuck in a bush on top of a tall wall. I'm like 10 feet in the air.

FUCKING AWESOME!"

And Bagel Cat is clearly "You will have to try to hold me to get the bagel back. My four sets of claws and my teeth suggest you reconsider that idea."
posted by eriko at 8:31 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

That upside down cat on the sofa is describing an out of body experience with his paws
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:02 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

hammock vizsla is my favourite always
posted by poffin boffin at 9:18 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Clearly the cat with the bagel has an owner who plays that Bread Kittens game.
posted by mogget at 10:11 AM on February 16, 2016

My cat likes to play in/around plastic grocery bags, which isn't unusual, but this inevitably leads to her getting some/many parts of herself stuck in the handle(s) and her fleeing in a panic through the house at .99c with the bag madly flapping in hot pursuit.

And, yes, every time I track her down and gently extract her, she communicates clearly that this is all my fault.
posted by BrashTech at 10:27 AM on February 16, 2016 [2 favorites]

Oldie but goodie: Mask Maru deliberately stuck and parading around.
posted by christopherious at 10:45 AM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

My cat Dusty did this thing where she was sitting half on a window sill and half on a large opened cardbox, and I laughed at her because she looked so ridiculous and uncomfortable. And I swear that she stayed there for another hour just to prove a point. (So long she even let me take a picture.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:14 AM on February 16, 2016 [7 favorites]

In spite of its name, SadAndUseless has become one of the web's best sources of visual funny.
Examples:
Awkward Band Publicity Photos (and several variations since)
Ventriloquist Dummies are Funny and Cute, Right?
Some Cats Are Very Photogenic. And Some Are Not.
Best Contestants from World Beard and Mustache Championships
and Proof that Benedict Cumberbatch Is Actually an Otter (a very specific variation of You Are Dog Now)
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:29 AM on February 16, 2016 [3 favorites]

I loved how the Shiba looked just delighted no matter what.

"I'm stuck in a hedge on top of a wall! Whee!"
"I'm stuck between a chain link fence and a wall! Hooray!"

A friend of mine had a terrifying cat (just to give you an idea, none of us including my friend would go near her without wearing oven mitts) who every once in a while would poke her head in the top of a nearly-empty Kleenex box. She'd then walk slowly around the room, head entirely stuck in the box, staggering drunkenly. We were all a little too scared of the cat to pull it off her right away...but I'd be lying if I said we also didn't laugh about it a little. Okay, a lot. (Eventually some brave soul would liberate her and then book it so she couldn't claw them.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:29 AM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

The hound with the pink lounger looks entirely too pleased with itself.
posted by orrnyereg at 12:38 PM on February 16, 2016

This thread would not be complete without my personal experience of a snapping turtle tactical assault.

(explanation here)
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:21 PM on February 16, 2016 [4 favorites]

Hahaha pets are the best
posted by clorox at 7:28 PM on February 16, 2016

Oldie but goodie: Mask Maru yt deliberately stuck and parading around.

Maru in Many Too Small Boxes and other adventures in related videos on the right = priceless.
posted by waving at 7:34 PM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

Years ago my mom's dog would go outside and wait for her on the patio in front of the house when he'd hear her car. (The front door was close enough to the patio so you could pet him.) One day she came home and went inside, and after five or ten minutes she realized the dog wasn't around. She went out on the patio and he was standing there with his back to her. She called him and he just stood there so she walked up to him and saw his head was stuck in the wooden bars surrounding the patio. She called the fire department and they reduced him. He was fine; they didn't have to cut him out, and I think my mom put something up so it wouldn't happen again.
posted by Room 641-A at 8:19 PM on February 16, 2016 [1 favorite]

She called the fire department and they reduced him.

So that's where those really little dogs come from. 🐺
posted by zamboni at 8:34 PM on February 16, 2016 [7 favorites]

Haha zamboni Ba-dum-tsh
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:23 PM on February 16, 2016

Well, yeah, that's how they got him through the beams!
posted by Room 641-A at 11:10 PM on February 16, 2016

From the same source: Shelter Dogs in a Photo Booth.

My childhood dog would chew and pry the wooden gate open in order to see who was in the alley -- and then get her head stuck. My dad cut a hole in the fence and put in a plexiglass window for her. That reduced the gate chewing (only a steel mesh mat actually ended it), and also gave us the charming spectacle of the dog's face mashed up against the window as she tried for maximum field of view in each direction.

*sigh* I miss that damn dog.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:04 PM on February 17, 2016 [3 favorites]