this is not 100% serious
February 21, 2016 5:26 PM   Subscribe

 
One classic is "flamboyant"...
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 5:30 PM on February 21, 2016


If only I'd had this guide as a young woman -- I'd have realized much earlier that having my own library card would foretell my propensity for liking other ladies.
posted by Hermione Granger at 5:32 PM on February 21, 2016 [22 favorites]


A cobblestone boy! A man with a long handshake!

I am very curious about an authentic sourced list though, slang evolution is fascinating.
posted by kafziel at 5:34 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]




That's cause it's for funsies.

Gunsel got snuck past the censors cause they had no idea what it meant.
posted by The Whelk at 5:40 PM on February 21, 2016 [10 favorites]


Nice verbal exercise, but I'd actually prefer a real list as mentioned up thread. The one that comes to mind right away is "confirmed bachelor."
posted by cell divide at 5:41 PM on February 21, 2016 [10 favorites]


No, Elisha Cook Jr is the gunsel. There are any number of more colorful words for Joel Cairo.
posted by thetortoise at 5:41 PM on February 21, 2016 [13 favorites]


There is no joy in your eyes when you water-ski.

Is there ever, in anyone's?
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:41 PM on February 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


I remember when I was like 15 or something and watched Seven Year Itch and there's a tossed off line about the "two interior decorators guys living upstairs" and I went "oh ...OOOOOOOOH"
posted by The Whelk at 5:46 PM on February 21, 2016 [20 favorites]


The Celloid Closet is good for learning these period gay coding, like stuff that would've never occurred to me (sure Joan Crawford in Johhny Guitar is ...obviously butch but I never would've have picked up on the SENSIBLE SHOES OF PREDATORY LESBIANISM in say, All About Eve)
posted by The Whelk at 5:49 PM on February 21, 2016 [17 favorites]


There are any number of more colorful words for Joel Cairo.

"Gardenia." "Quick darling, in with him." See cane, extremely subtle homoeroticism of.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:51 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Is he, you know... a skilled mountain climber?"

The fact that "a real pal" was a euphemism for lesbians throws quite a bit of confusion into the current trend of calling open lesbians "really good friends". What used to be a kind of knowing wink has turned into intentional obliviousness.
posted by brecc at 5:53 PM on February 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Heh. I'm halfway though Chris Offutt's latest My Father The Pornographer. In it Offut's father mentions that he became estranged from his father, when he "started wearing floral patterned shirts and leaving the house at odd hours." I dunno whether that's a euphemism or a whole other verbal device altogether.
posted by jonmc at 5:54 PM on February 21, 2016


I was just reading a bit about this today--in The Maltese Falcon, Peter Lorre's character was referred to as a 'gunsel', which refers both to a young gun-toting man and a young gay man--and there's Lorre right there in the article, but I didn't see 'gunsel.'

Gunsel doesn't refer to a young gun-toting man. It means a catamite. But it totally sounds like it would mean a hitman, which is how Dashiell Hammett slipped it past his editors when the Maltese Falcon was being published serially and they wouldn't let him say anything lewd.

Any confusion about the term stems 100% from that use.
posted by kafziel at 5:56 PM on February 21, 2016 [19 favorites]


A real jackdaw

This paints all of l'affaire Unidan in a new and unsettling light.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:56 PM on February 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


I mean I'm writing something that takes place in the gay underworld of the 40s and I have SO MANY Of THESE

"Dropping pins" meaning dropping hints that you're "Brilliant" or "sophicated" , "to be brought out" to be introduced into the gay subculture, to be "wise" to it or maybe your older an aun Auntie..

Like books with plausible gay things got marketed as AS MODERN CLASSICAL ROMANCE that's like, ignoring anything about what a STRANGE or DIFFERENT gent he was..

Friend of Dorothy most likely referred to Dorothy Parker, likening her in the 40s was a bit of a shibboleth cause she wasn't popular with anyone else, at all.
posted by The Whelk at 5:59 PM on February 21, 2016 [11 favorites]


The one that comes to mind right away is "confirmed bachelor."

Light in the loafers too, I think.
posted by kenko at 6:00 PM on February 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


GAL PALS
posted by poffin boffin at 6:01 PM on February 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


"An evening botanist" I have found my next aesthetic!
posted by yueliang at 6:02 PM on February 21, 2016 [10 favorites]


"Don't mark on "dancer" as your preferred job in your military induction exam that's totally a trap!"

Also gag when they stick that tounge depression down your throat, they think gay men don't have gag reflexes, it's another trap.
posted by The Whelk at 6:03 PM on February 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


Was just discussing this the other day. It turns out that I'm not the only person who wondered who did the confirming for all of those "confirmed spinsters/bachelors".

Like, did you get a card? Were there inspections? A government office?

Yeah, I'm not real sharp...
posted by pompomtom at 6:09 PM on February 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


If you're the only girl in the movie who talks like Huck Finn, you're the lesbian. Likewise if you're the woman who is too smart, like far smarter than the narrative needs her to be. Or called "athletic" without reference to any clear athletic activity. Or your main hobby is smoking. Or you're Mercedes McCambridge. But if you're practical-minded in glasses and an A-line skirt, you're probably just a tragic spinster.
posted by thetortoise at 6:23 PM on February 21, 2016 [18 favorites]


Friend of Dorothy most likely referred to Dorothy Parker, likening her in the 40s was a bit of a shibboleth cause she wasn't popular with anyone else, at all.

I really always assumed that Friend of Dorothy was a Wizard of Oz reference. Because of the shoes?

Although maybe because three guys hang out with her for the whole picture and no one makes a pass at her.
posted by aureliobuendia at 6:23 PM on February 21, 2016 [12 favorites]


Yes I've always thought Dorothy was an Oz ref possibly b/c fabulous ruby slippers?
posted by Sebmojo at 6:27 PM on February 21, 2016


"a man who makes his own luck"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmUd9CgIwKk
posted by praemunire at 6:27 PM on February 21, 2016


(I think it mutated over the years, and yes he was "dandy" lion *hand gesture* at one point Naval Intelligence in ..Chicago? I think thought there really was a woman named Dorthy running a homosexual spy ring)
posted by The Whelk at 6:28 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


a man who makes his own luck

I always snicker when Johnny says how he knows all about American sailors.
posted by thetortoise at 6:29 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


(If you guys have never seen the propaganda musical extravaganza THIS IS THE ARMY oh god, it was the basis for the star spangled man number in First Avengers, it has a blisteringly racist minstrel number and two, TWO incredibly faggy drag routines. Drag was part of the Soilder show guidebooks handed out to troops, how to make a dress with camp materials, etc )
posted by The Whelk at 6:30 PM on February 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Gunsel doesn't refer to a young gun-toting man. It means a catamite. But it totally sounds like it would mean a hitman

Up there with "Nimrod" where single misunderstood reference changed a word's meaning forever.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:34 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Up there with "Nimrod" where single misunderstood reference changed a word's meaning forever.

I think we all know how he means it.
posted by kafziel at 6:39 PM on February 21, 2016


The gay list seems to be missing Oriental.
posted by Confess, Fletch at 6:41 PM on February 21, 2016


Related: nymphomaniac.

Dorothy Malone won Best Supporting Actress in 1957 for playing a nymphomaniac in Written on the Wind. The word couldn't be used in movies in the Fifties, so the marketing shorthand was: She loved too much, and too often.

Here is her famous "Dance of Death" scene, with commentary on the right-hand side.
posted by Short Attention Sp at 6:41 PM on February 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


The site is unusable on a device without ad block, which is the default state on an unrooted kindle. The content is completely blocked by an giant ad that can't be dismissed.
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 6:44 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


And here I always thought "friend of Dorothy" referred to The Wizard of Oz, from the days when gay men were all supposed to be Judy Garland fans.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:47 PM on February 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


(The original phrasing, I think it mutated into an Oz reference after the fact, and HEY DO YOU WANT A CRITICAL ESSAY ABOUT WHY PEROID GAY MEN LOVED JUDY GARLAND BOOM )
posted by The Whelk at 7:01 PM on February 21, 2016 [19 favorites]


Not to mention that part of the plot of the Wizard of Oz is that a gay lion can still be brave, and he's definitely a FoD.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:03 PM on February 21, 2016 [2 favorites]




language is weird

gunsel didn't even mean gunman until it got used in a context where the author hoped the editor would be mistaken about the meaning
posted by idiopath at 7:34 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Look, linguistics is very interesting but it's not going to help us find that MacGuffin any faster
posted by thelonius at 7:40 PM on February 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


And if Halperin et al. are to be believed, can we add "dedicated Hellenist" to the list?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:41 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


See cane, extremely subtle homoeroticism of.

It's a subtle as a sack of bricks. At one point, he visibly fellates the cane.

And there's no getting past the censors in the book -- Cairo is explicitly referred to as gay. The comment above is correct: Cook is the gunsel.
posted by maxsparber at 7:41 PM on February 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm always glad to learn some new Yiddish, though. I suspect what was being slipped past the censors was that the Cook character was less a hoodlum than a chicken.
posted by maxsparber at 7:43 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Celluoid Closet is on youtube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhygdCjYrdk
posted by PinkMoose at 8:08 PM on February 21, 2016 [9 favorites]


Hey, so is Mark Rappaport's The Silver Screen: Color Me Lavender, if you'd like a less-monumental film to watch after.
posted by thetortoise at 8:15 PM on February 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


My Brooklyn born and raised grandmother and her sisters were big fans of the word "peculiar" to describe a gay man, as in "Our upstairs neighbor, Mr. Lavegetto, he was peculiar."
posted by KingEdRa at 8:44 PM on February 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Not a cane, an umbrella. Go ahead and look at the clip, I'll wait. However, the meaning is clearly the same.
posted by evilDoug at 9:06 PM on February 21, 2016


A term I've never heard in a movie but that's used in the local gay/lesbian community: they ride the bus, i.e. "Oh yeah, she rides the bus" or "he rides the bus".
posted by disclaimer at 9:37 PM on February 21, 2016


So... Are these real? What movies are they from?
posted by Sys Rq at 9:38 PM on February 21, 2016


There is a John Sayles film, I think it's Passion Fish, where a character is described as "literary". I watched with a friend who is quite literary himself, and he had a good laugh about it later.

The usage of "peculiar" to mean gay is also mirrored in the Spanish "rarito", (diminutive of "raro", weird). Usually pronounced "rarito, ya me entiendes" ("weird-ish, you know what I mean").
posted by kandinski at 9:57 PM on February 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


So... Are these real?

No, it's a humor piece that mixes one or two real euphemisms with a bunch of made up ones. Although the "signs you're about to be in a sinister homoerotic subplot..." article does clearly refer to a number of real movies, like Rope and All About Eve.
posted by phoenixy at 11:15 PM on February 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Confirmed bachelor" is the actual term, not "avowed bachelor".

I have a personal history with this term as a straight man. There is a perk in Fallout 3 that bears this name, which I took being unaware of Its connotation. Guys in-game started hitting on me, which I thought odd, but never connected it with the perk.

Later, my father born in 1949 referred to some classic actor known to be gay as a "confirmed bachelor". Ahhhhh, yes. That illuminates greatly my gaming experience.

Some years later, I find out the usage is not so widespread. I have a somewhat serious girlfriend that I cannot quite commit to. I have known her mother many years, and her mother knows my parents, and the whole thing is pretty amiable.

Her mother tells her, "Oh, I think he is just a confirmed bachelor".

Nooooooooooo

(My ex, needless to say, was tickled pink when I explained all this)
posted by habeebtc at 12:10 AM on February 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


My father used to describe some of his friends as confirmed bachelors. For the longest time I thought that this meant that they slept aroundand didn't want to get married. It didn't help that more than a few Shakespeare characters were described in a similar way. Of the top of my head, Benedict in much ado about nothing. He does eventually settle down though, only heightening my confusion.

Even obtuese as I was though, I knew that if a woman was described as handsome it meant that she was Gaygay McHomosex.
posted by Braeburn at 1:22 AM on February 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


There was a gentleman at my childhood church who I only learned was gay after his death, and when I asked my parents how I had never known that, they were surprised and said that people mentioned it all the time, just 'being polite about it' and thus using a similar kind of slang. I wish I could remember more because I'm sure 90's socially acceptable ways to subtly call someone gay in the rural midwest would be interesting.
The only ones I remember are "Light on his feet" which I assume is a corruption of "Light in his loafers" and something like "He's a bit of a light touch" or something to do with having soft hands or something.
posted by neonrev at 2:21 AM on February 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


Signs you're about to be in a homosexual subplot in a midcentury drama

"You are perfectly polite and accommodating, and yet people still dislike you."

..BRB. I have some news to break to Mrs. Example.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:29 AM on February 22, 2016 [5 favorites]


habeebtc: "tickled pink "

...speaking of which...
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:57 AM on February 22, 2016


Some others I recall:

A Turk/Turkish

"He has a really strong relationship with his mother" --delivered by Rock Hudson no less!

Altarboy -- although that may just have been me reading into that based on my Catholic school experiences.

Tonto
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 5:16 AM on February 22, 2016


Signs you're about to be in a homosexual subplot in a midcentury drama

Thank you for that link. "Jimmy Stewart looks faintly disgusted with you." is probably the best line in English I'll read all day. And a possible life goal if I ever get a time machine. And a definite future MeFi sock-puppet name. And is also the cinematic supercut I never knew I needed.
posted by honestcoyote at 5:35 AM on February 22, 2016 [5 favorites]


i seem to remember something about old biddies, or spinsters, or maids or even ladies and their "companions"

also "plays for the other team"
posted by pyramid termite at 5:47 AM on February 22, 2016


You answer the door in a silk kimono. It is not the only Orientalist note in your wardrobe.

I have a 50's kimono from Japan. I've worn it to a few costume parties, but I must start answering the door in it.

"dedicated Hellenist"

"Uranian" is my favorite.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:32 AM on February 22, 2016


The euphemism no one has mentioned that's still in use at the Gray Lady and other "respectable" newspapers/media outlets, though not as much as 20 or more years ago, is "married and has/had no children," or if in an obituary, "married and never had children." That can of course actually mean "married and has no children," but in the past was also wink-wink in certain contexts for gay or lesbian, just as "confirmed bachelor" once also was for "gay male."

"Pretty boy" should also be on the list -- old Hollywood gossip-ese for a gay male, as in "Pretty boy Rock Hudson" or "Pretty boy William Haines," who, after getting arrested with a sailor he'd picked up at Pershing Square in LA, was ordered by Louis B. Mayer to shape up and live and act like a heterosexual or get out of the business, which he promptly did (got out of the business). When Ronald Reagan eulogized Robert Taylor in 1969, he said, "In 35 years of acting, there were some who tried to bring him down with 'pretty boy.' Only in the recent years of our friendship have I understood how truly painful this must have been for him."
posted by blucevalo at 6:38 AM on February 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ran across an interesting example last night, watching The Sandbaggers. They're down to one Sandbagger, and Marsden's character is desperate for a replacement so so he sends Sandbagger 1 to the college to hound their connection for new young prospects. There aren't any though, nobody at all with the required skill set our constitution..... Except a woman. And Sandbagger 1 is pretty incredulous, but assures his boss when reporting back that "she's a fella" so she won't be a disruption.
posted by carsonb at 6:43 AM on February 22, 2016


which he promptly did

..and became one of the most in demand interior decorators in town. When he and his partner tired to buy a house in Beverly Hills the community board blocked him until he got his friend Joan Crawford to deliver a ..fairly blistering speech to them until they backed down.

As far as I can tell He walked out of showbiz and basically spent the next decade hosting a nonstop cocktail party, which, if you must, isn't half bad.

James Whale and David Lewis were a little more interesting, if only that they both lived together had a really difficult relationship once Whale's carrer started to falter. Brackett's (producer, friend of Lewis, did Sunset Boulevard) diaries are full of like, bad scenes over dinner.

Oh man the things Orry-Kelly says about people in his recently published autobio that was found hidden in a pillowcase,..
posted by The Whelk at 6:50 AM on February 22, 2016 [7 favorites]


I've always assumed that "longtime companion," in an obituary meant, "live-in homosexual lover"? But I never actually asked a gay friend about that.
posted by musofire at 8:06 AM on February 22, 2016


It's enough that there's a AIDS movie drama from 1989 called "Longtime Companion" soooo yes
posted by The Whelk at 8:09 AM on February 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm disappointed that gentleman bachelor is not on the list which has always been a favorite euphemism since I first heard it in some 30's or 40's film.
posted by Ashwagandha at 8:16 AM on February 22, 2016


"Uranian" is my favorite.

Oooh. I'll see your Ulrichs and raise you a Krafft-Ebing:

"Inverts"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:12 AM on February 22, 2016


So... Are these real?

No, it's a humor piece that mixes one or two real euphemisms with a bunch of made up ones.


Oh, good. There just haven't been nearly enough "funny" names to call homosexuals, so being a source of mirth has heretofore been a dream unfulfilled. Thank you ever so much, Mallory Ortberg. A true gift to humankind.

To return the favour, I shall compile a list of hilarious euphemisms for inexplicably popular bloggers who ran out of things to write about half a decade ago.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:35 AM on February 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


Physician, ....
posted by shakespeherian at 10:56 AM on February 22, 2016


Not to step all over the joke, but Ortberg's humor here has a lot more to do with the Production Code than making fun of gay people.
posted by thetortoise at 11:02 AM on February 22, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh, good. There just haven't been nearly enough "funny" names to call homosexuals, so being a source of mirth has heretofore been a dream unfulfilled. Thank you ever so much, Mallory Ortberg. A true gift to humankind.

Ortberg is a great big old lesbian, so you might want to consider whether this is mocking the absurdity of the various ways of coding homosexuality in film rather than mocking homosexuals.
posted by praemunire at 12:33 PM on February 22, 2016 [10 favorites]


I mean, that aspect of her identity has even come up on the Blue before.

It's almost as if queer women exist and can make jokes and commentary about their own community! SHOCKER.
posted by sciatrix at 12:43 PM on February 22, 2016 [6 favorites]


Well, that's sure some timely satire!

The production code ceased to exist in 1968. Gay people didn't. Guess which is more affected by this "humor."

Furthermore, by adding to the list of euphemisms, it creates the illusion that there were many more (crypto-) gay plotlines than there actually were, thereby diminishing the perceived extent of the total erasure of homosexuality by American popular culture.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:46 PM on February 22, 2016


It's almost as if queer women exist and can make jokes and commentary about their own community! SHOCKER.

Shall I also give Roy Cohn a pass while I'm at it?
posted by Sys Rq at 12:48 PM on February 22, 2016


this is not 100% serious
posted by shakespeherian at 12:48 PM on February 22, 2016 [6 favorites]


Shall I also give Roy Cohn a pass while I'm at it?

Roy spent a lot of time passing and now he's totally passed, so I don't think he needs any more pass.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:54 PM on February 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


...have... have you literally never seen Ortberg's work at all in any format whatsoever? Riffing irreverently on slightly obscure historical topics is what she does. Moreover, never mentioning the production code or the fact that references to queer people were driven underground in any context outside a dry and serious academic work is not going to make people suddenly assume that queer people were EVERYWHERE fifty years ago.

The status pop history quo seems to be, in my experience, that the entire LGBTQ+ movement sprung fully formed out of Stonewall and before that people either a) hated themselves in quiet solitude in a corner or b) straight up didn't exist before then, because no one was talking about it. There are worse misconceptions to have than "hey, LGBTQ folk existed, and sometimes people used silly euphemisms to talk about them; how ridiculous!"
posted by sciatrix at 12:56 PM on February 22, 2016 [7 favorites]


Man, I am always getting Mallory Ortberg & Roy Cohn mixed-up. So alike.
posted by the bricabrac man at 1:07 PM on February 22, 2016 [5 favorites]


It's easy. Cohn is the one who looks like Al Pacino.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:23 PM on February 22, 2016 [2 favorites]


The production code ceased to exist in 1968.

Gay subtext sure as hell didn't.

Gay people didn't. Guess which is more affected by this "humor."

...are you really, seriously thinking that people are going to be drawing upon this list, written by a lesbian for a site with a substantially queer audience, for new ways to make fun of gay people? The phrases aren't even inherently cruel: who is going to be harmed by "a keen-eyed birdwatcher" or, you know, "elegant?"
posted by praemunire at 1:45 PM on February 22, 2016 [8 favorites]


On the list: "Always rings twice."

So... the "The Postman Always Rings Twice" is about a gay mail carrier?
posted by Davenhill at 2:06 PM on February 22, 2016


Oddly, just before reading this thread I happened across Royal Navy slang terms Navy Cake and Porthole Duff, which I quickly learned mean a gay sailor and sodomy respectively. (The context was a memoir containing a angrily homophobic WW2-veteran BBC doorman, who made no bones about 'hating poofs', destroyed his Elton John record collection when Reg came out, and said on seeing Quentin Crisp: "What the hell's THAT? If he's not a poofter, I'm a Soviet cosmonaut.")

I don't think he'dve thrived on Metafilter.
posted by Devonian at 2:30 PM on February 22, 2016


Is Navy Cake the kind you enjoy by the ocean?
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 2:45 PM on February 22, 2016


As with cigars, sometimes a confirmed bachelor is just that.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 4:18 PM on February 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


"The Postman Always Rings Twice" is about a gay mail carrier?

There's a Prince Albert joke in there that I can't quite formulate...
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:27 PM on February 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


I though Mallory Ortberg was really funny the first couple of times I saw her, but now her stuff at the Toast feels like the same joke played out in different ways over and over. This joke feels especially thin to me.
posted by not that girl at 4:52 PM on February 22, 2016


Which I guess I say not to shit in a thread of people enjoying it, so much as to say that Sys Req isn't the only one this fell flat for.

I'm glad to have learned about This is the Army, since I think "Star Spangled Man With a Plan" is the best thing to come out of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Also to be reminded that it would be fun to re-read/re-watch The Celluloid Closet.
posted by not that girl at 4:56 PM on February 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


She definitely has her more, er, mechanical, perfunctory posts. But when she's on, she kills.
posted by praemunire at 4:59 PM on February 22, 2016


If you want to watch THIS IS THE ARMY just for the lavish production numbers you can skip to the end, there's a hilariously prefuctionry framing story but it can be skipped (and yeah they even like, in universe quasi apologize for the BLISTERINGLY RACIST BLACKFACE number)
posted by The Whelk at 5:06 PM on February 22, 2016 [1 favorite]


hey! if people keep saying bad things about Mallory Ortberg, she won't be our best friend. and I reaaaalllly want to be best friends with Mallory Ortberg.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 5:41 PM on February 22, 2016 [9 favorites]


I enjoyed watching Downton Abbey last night and hearing about the character who was delicate and artistic and went to Tangiers where he enjoyed watching the young fishermen pulling in the nets...
posted by whoaali at 7:55 PM on February 22, 2016 [2 favorites]




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