Yams

February 25, 2016 2:09 PM

You’re George Lucas In 1975. Can You Create ‘Star Wars’?
posted by fearfulsymmetry (25 comments total)

You're George Lucas In 1997. Can You Ruin 'Star Wars'?
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:15 PM on February 25, 2016 [14 favorites]

I tried my best, but the closest I got was creating Battle of the Network Stars.

I ended up having to chase a shirtless Gabe Kaplan off my lawn with a sprayer hose.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:23 PM on February 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I enjoyed the yams.
posted by George Lucas at 2:25 PM on February 25, 2016 [18 favorites]

I haven't exhausted all of the possibilities yet, but I'm starting to think it's not possible for George Lucas to create Star Wars.
posted by ckape at 2:27 PM on February 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

I created Star Wars! Unfortunately, I died before making it.
posted by Gaz Errant at 2:38 PM on February 25, 2016

I haven't exhausted all of the possibilities yet, but I'm starting to think it's not possible for George Lucas to create Star Wars.

I found three separate endings in which you create Star Wars (though only one of them is the "best ending".) The key is to xvyy Nxven Xhebfnjn naq gura npg fhecevfrq jura Uneevfba Sbeq svaqf gur obql. (ROT13)
posted by Johnny Assay at 2:38 PM on February 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Not as hard as creating Star Wars, apparently, but the folks over on CG+ have been having a Star Wars: Re-imagined contest. Winners are at the bottom of that post.

Gallery of all entries.
posted by nubs at 2:41 PM on February 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: No. Start the yams over. I want to watch them again so they aren't lonely.
posted by dersins at 2:46 PM on February 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

Yeah, I figured it out. The trick is to ask yourself "What would George Lucas do?" and then not do that.
posted by ckape at 2:47 PM on February 25, 2016

Should I admit I totally dunk posted that...? hey, kinda like the prequels, amirite!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:51 PM on February 25, 2016

Yes, but not on purpose, apparently.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:53 PM on February 25, 2016

I made this for myself using a feed-maker type web tool, but in case anyone else is interested, here's an rss feed for the clickventures. The feed itself doesn't have a list of previous entries (unless your feed reader keeps one automatically), but it seems to work for the most recent one.
posted by juv3nal at 3:02 PM on February 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

You created an all-Wookiee version of Star Wars!

I can now die happy.
posted by numaner at 3:05 PM on February 25, 2016

I did it!

And now I know George Lucas's big, dark secret...
posted by cooker girl at 3:10 PM on February 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

Fuck you Kurosawa.
posted by biffa at 3:53 PM on February 25, 2016 [3 favorites]

You're George Lucas In 1997. Can You Ruin 'Star Wars'?
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:15 PM on February 25

The Force is strong with this one.
posted by entropicamericana at 3:58 PM on February 25, 2016

New ClickVentures are posted every Thursday, and are currently one of my favorite things on the internet. Last week's was, uh, very NSFW, though.

Protip: You can use the Back button on your browser then reload the page to undo your selection. They have checkpoints but usually only one or two per story.
posted by Sibrax at 3:59 PM on February 25, 2016

MetaFilter: totally dunk posted
posted by Wolfdog at 4:03 PM on February 25, 2016 [1 favorite]

I came across some Buzzfeed click your own adventure thing recently. Were they doing that before, or did they seriously just steal the idea from ClickHole?
posted by ckape at 4:33 PM on February 25, 2016

I created Star Wars, but there were no yams. I came for the yams.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 5:06 PM on February 25, 2016

I think Clickhole is surpassing The Onion, at the very least for sheer weirdness.
posted by zardoz at 5:45 PM on February 25, 2016

You created Star Wars, but you also got arrested for killing Akira Kurosawa!

The fucker was on my roof and wouldn't get down. And I think The Hidden Fortress sucked. Je ne regrette rien!
posted by KingEdRa at 6:02 PM on February 25, 2016 [2 favorites]

I "technically" created Star Wars then immediately drowned. Yay me!
posted by blue_beetle at 6:57 PM on February 25, 2016

That was more interesting than usual.

"You created Haunted Rollercoaster 2: Haunted Rollercoaster In Space!" with Akira Kurosawa!
posted by amtho at 8:16 PM on February 25, 2016

One thing I love about these is that the humor often veers into the genuinely surreal and/or creepy, and are a bit unsettling despite their absurdity (I'm thinking in particular of The Diver from Death Attends the Matinee).

A bit off-topic but my other favorite thing from Clickhole is the (hopefully) ongoing series in which Harrison Ford narrowly escapes death in a Looney-Tunes style way.
posted by treepour at 4:25 PM on February 26, 2016