Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?
March 4, 2016 4:05 PM Subscribe
Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson eats about 821 pounds of cod a year as part of a 5,000-calorie per day bodybuilder's diet. What happens when a civilian tries to eat like The Rock for a month?
Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?
With that much fish, the answer would almost certainly be "yes".
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:27 PM on March 4, 2016 [54 favorites]
With that much fish, the answer would almost certainly be "yes".
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:27 PM on March 4, 2016 [54 favorites]
That's 2.25 pounds of fish per day!
posted by dilaudid at 4:33 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by dilaudid at 4:33 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
This post is incomplete without "My Real-Time Response to Learning What The Rock Eats Every Day".
GODDAMMIT DWAYNE DO YOU LIVE INSIDE JOHN STEINBECK’S CANNERY ROWposted by epersonae at 4:35 PM on March 4, 2016 [41 favorites]
In cod we trust.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:37 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 4:37 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
Delivered COD, presumably.
posted by Chitownfats at 4:39 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Chitownfats at 4:39 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?
Rock lobster?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 4:41 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
Rock lobster?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 4:41 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
In less jokey thoughts, I found this interesting from the guy who tried it for a month: "that’s about five hours a day spent prepping food, eating food and working out." He notes that "being The Rock" is basically Dwayne Johnson's job.
posted by epersonae at 4:42 PM on March 4, 2016 [16 favorites]
posted by epersonae at 4:42 PM on March 4, 2016 [16 favorites]
You'd think he'd swap in another white fish from time to time. Pollack? Haddock? Nice bit of sea bass?
NO! COD!
posted by howfar at 4:42 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
NO! COD!
posted by howfar at 4:42 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
It's mentioned in the toast link above as a joke, but seriously, how does he avoid mercury poisoning? At 2.25lbs of cod per day, it seems like a real concern.
posted by namewithoutwords at 4:44 PM on March 4, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by namewithoutwords at 4:44 PM on March 4, 2016 [13 favorites]
Man. I wish I could eat like that.
Why? It's a huge time suck, very expensive, and (depending on your palate) not enjoyable.
posted by Monochrome at 4:45 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Why? It's a huge time suck, very expensive, and (depending on your palate) not enjoyable.
posted by Monochrome at 4:45 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
1.5 hours of food prep every few days? Sounds like far less than me and most every other mom out there.
posted by that's how you get ants at 4:45 PM on March 4, 2016 [37 favorites]
posted by that's how you get ants at 4:45 PM on March 4, 2016 [37 favorites]
Nicely showing the absurdity of the bulked-up male physique as the ideal. George H. Bush even appointed Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Chairman of the President's Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition.
posted by oluckyman at 4:54 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by oluckyman at 4:54 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
I've nothing against the guy: but what a freaking waste of resources.
posted by oxidizer at 4:54 PM on March 4, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by oxidizer at 4:54 PM on March 4, 2016 [6 favorites]
Fuck! People lots their livelihoods over this. Could we wait a bit longer before going all...COD!!!
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:58 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by bonobothegreat at 4:58 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's important to point out that he is likely not preparing much (any?) any of this food himself. That is what assistants and personal chefs are for. He probably has not set foot in a supermarket in 10 years.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:59 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 4:59 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
In cod we trust.
Dwayne Johnson goes to his freezer and finds it empty. In despair he cries "My cod, my cod. Why hast thou forsaken me!"
posted by octobersurprise at 5:00 PM on March 4, 2016 [29 favorites]
Dwayne Johnson goes to his freezer and finds it empty. In despair he cries "My cod, my cod. Why hast thou forsaken me!"
posted by octobersurprise at 5:00 PM on March 4, 2016 [29 favorites]
mercury poisoning
This link shows FDA average reporting of .1 milligrams of mercury for 2.2 lb of cod.
So thats about 100 micrograms of mercury a day he's eating.
Same link says " the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has set a safe daily mercury intake level of 0.1 micrograms per kilogram of body weight". The Rock weighs about 120kg, so his safe level should be 12 micrograms per day of mercury.
So he's eating about 8x the EPA recommended level.
_How_ dangerous that is is hard to say, but it does seem like a potential concern.
posted by thefoxgod at 5:03 PM on March 4, 2016 [21 favorites]
This link shows FDA average reporting of .1 milligrams of mercury for 2.2 lb of cod.
So thats about 100 micrograms of mercury a day he's eating.
Same link says " the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has set a safe daily mercury intake level of 0.1 micrograms per kilogram of body weight". The Rock weighs about 120kg, so his safe level should be 12 micrograms per day of mercury.
So he's eating about 8x the EPA recommended level.
_How_ dangerous that is is hard to say, but it does seem like a potential concern.
posted by thefoxgod at 5:03 PM on March 4, 2016 [21 favorites]
I think the only part of weightlifting/bodybuilding I could do well is the eating part. Twenty minutes for 8 oz of cod and a couple of sides? Nah, man. Ten minutes tops. Five if I'm in a hurry.
posted by mhum at 5:03 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by mhum at 5:03 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
No rice cake?! This guy's an amateur!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:13 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:13 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
That's one way to get a nice set of fishlifters.
Cod dammit, I came to make that exact same joke.
*greatjob*
posted by Itaxpica at 5:24 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
Cod dammit, I came to make that exact same joke.
*greatjob*
posted by Itaxpica at 5:24 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
I could certainly put down two pounds of catfish per day if you twisted my arm. And if the tartar sauce was homemade. Don't forget the hush puppies.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:30 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:30 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
I'm more impressed by the part where the most sugary thing he eats is sweet potatoes.
posted by box at 5:41 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by box at 5:41 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
It does make sense that a guy named The Rock loves to eat cod.
posted by Flashman at 5:43 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by Flashman at 5:43 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
_How_ dangerous that is is hard to say, but it does seem like a potential concern.
I hear that he received medical advice to that effect, but all Johnson had to say was
posted by zamboni at 5:48 PM on March 4, 2016 [134 favorites]
I hear that he received medical advice to that effect, but all Johnson had to say was
Doc, note I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod.
posted by zamboni at 5:48 PM on March 4, 2016 [134 favorites]
I wish I was The Rock.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:57 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:57 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Johnson is actually a pretty good actor. His face shows a lot of emotion. It's really too bad that he's gone the "action hero" route.
posted by SPrintF at 6:00 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by SPrintF at 6:00 PM on March 4, 2016 [7 favorites]
I'd much rather look like Chris Evans, who eats chicken, yogurt, rice, bananas, and salads.
posted by Brocktoon at 6:02 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Brocktoon at 6:02 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Steroid stacks are a helluva drug.
Speaking of The Rock (the original one), it seems that the latter-day Rock hasn't heard of the cod moratorium, nor John Crosbie, who once famously shouted at people who were protesting the loss of their livelihoods, "I didn't take the fish from the goddamned waters."
I guess The Rock did - or is, rather.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:02 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Speaking of The Rock (the original one), it seems that the latter-day Rock hasn't heard of the cod moratorium, nor John Crosbie, who once famously shouted at people who were protesting the loss of their livelihoods, "I didn't take the fish from the goddamned waters."
I guess The Rock did - or is, rather.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:02 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Welcome to Dwayne's World.
posted by spinifex23 at 6:07 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by spinifex23 at 6:07 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Another day, another eight hours with our arms in a tank of dead fish, eh?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:09 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:09 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Steroid stacks are a helluva drug.
I got no strong feelings one way or another, and I'm not saying he doesn't dabble, but it actually is possible to get Rock-huge without the use of 'roids. It's especially possible when being Rock-huge is, as said above, your full time job, and everything I've ever heard or seen or read about this guy suggests to me that he absolutely busts his ass in the gym and is disciplined in the kitchen, every single day, and has been doing it that way for a very long time. The fact that he's half-Samoan gives him an enormous genetic advantage as well. I've never seen a Samoan who wasn't massive, and there are plenty around my neck of the woods who are barely out of high school and already almost as big as Johnson.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:10 PM on March 4, 2016 [13 favorites]
I got no strong feelings one way or another, and I'm not saying he doesn't dabble, but it actually is possible to get Rock-huge without the use of 'roids. It's especially possible when being Rock-huge is, as said above, your full time job, and everything I've ever heard or seen or read about this guy suggests to me that he absolutely busts his ass in the gym and is disciplined in the kitchen, every single day, and has been doing it that way for a very long time. The fact that he's half-Samoan gives him an enormous genetic advantage as well. I've never seen a Samoan who wasn't massive, and there are plenty around my neck of the woods who are barely out of high school and already almost as big as Johnson.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:10 PM on March 4, 2016 [13 favorites]
Atlantic Cod may be depleted and not yet recovering up to expectations, but good news, Pacific Cod is plentiful (at least for now) and where most cod in the supermarket is caught
posted by Fupped Duck at 6:15 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Fupped Duck at 6:15 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
I got no strong feelings one way or another, and I'm not saying he doesn't dabble, but it actually is possible to get Rock-huge without the use of 'roids. It's especially possible when being Rock-huge is, as said above, your full time job, and everything I've ever heard or seen or read about this guy suggests to me that he absolutely busts his ass in the gym and is disciplined in the kitchen, every single day, and has been doing it that way for a very long time.
Oh, absolutely. Steroids without that level of dedication - both in terms of diet and workout regimen - would yield no results.
But it would be naive for me to think that steroids aren't in the equation somewhere is all I was getting at. We know they are - but they're not the only input.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:16 PM on March 4, 2016
Oh, absolutely. Steroids without that level of dedication - both in terms of diet and workout regimen - would yield no results.
But it would be naive for me to think that steroids aren't in the equation somewhere is all I was getting at. We know they are - but they're not the only input.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:16 PM on March 4, 2016
What happens when a civilian the world tries to eat like The Rock for a month?
I'm going with extinction level event.
posted by iamck at 6:18 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
I'm going with extinction level event.
posted by iamck at 6:18 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
I wonder how many pounds of Cod Worms he's eaten.
posted by Kabanos at 6:29 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Kabanos at 6:29 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
So he's eating about 8x the EPA recommended level.
Which would be a concern if he got pregnant, or was 3 years old, but, otherwise, who knows?
I am going to assume that as a "bankable" he gets insurance-mandated exams aplenty. If anything dire popped up, 6 months on some other kind of high protein would reverse any damage. Beyond that, Google and I suggest actual physician consult.
posted by Chitownfats at 6:38 PM on March 4, 2016
Which would be a concern if he got pregnant, or was 3 years old, but, otherwise, who knows?
I am going to assume that as a "bankable" he gets insurance-mandated exams aplenty. If anything dire popped up, 6 months on some other kind of high protein would reverse any damage. Beyond that, Google and I suggest actual physician consult.
posted by Chitownfats at 6:38 PM on March 4, 2016
Johnson is actually a pretty good actor. His face shows a lot of emotion. It's really too bad that he's gone the "action hero" route.
I'm not sure Hollywood's system allows for a physique like Johnson's to go down any other path. I wonder if he could successfully de-bulk a bit in order to get some non-action roles?
posted by Thorzdad at 6:56 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure Hollywood's system allows for a physique like Johnson's to go down any other path. I wonder if he could successfully de-bulk a bit in order to get some non-action roles?
posted by Thorzdad at 6:56 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
I wonder if he could successfully de-bulk
Every fiber of my being is screaming "SHUT YOUR MOUTH NOW" but I respect your right to talk about this hypothetical anyway. Just know that it is very hard for me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:01 PM on March 4, 2016 [19 favorites]
Every fiber of my being is screaming "SHUT YOUR MOUTH NOW" but I respect your right to talk about this hypothetical anyway. Just know that it is very hard for me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:01 PM on March 4, 2016 [19 favorites]
Oh, absolutely. Steroids without that level of dedication - both in terms of diet and workout regimen - would yield no results.
But it would be naive for me to think that steroids aren't in the equation somewhere is all I was getting at. We know they are - but they're not the only input.
One thing people don't often realize, steroids are often what allows that insane level of training. Without steroids, most people would have to have much more recovery time.
posted by Chuckles at 7:13 PM on March 4, 2016 [8 favorites]
But it would be naive for me to think that steroids aren't in the equation somewhere is all I was getting at. We know they are - but they're not the only input.
One thing people don't often realize, steroids are often what allows that insane level of training. Without steroids, most people would have to have much more recovery time.
posted by Chuckles at 7:13 PM on March 4, 2016 [8 favorites]
Holy mackerel.
posted by brundlefly at 7:17 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 7:17 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
So it costs a lot of money to eat like The Rock, but it also takes time. Every two or three days, Webster said, he spent an hour and a half on food prep.
So less time than I spend cooking for my husband and I every two to three days, and that's before clean up. Poor diddums.
posted by prettypretty at 7:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
So less time than I spend cooking for my husband and I every two to three days, and that's before clean up. Poor diddums.
posted by prettypretty at 7:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
It seems to me that the ultimate first world problem is being paid to eat like yourself.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm confused. I was of the understanding that Mr. The Rock was a civilian. He's only a make-believe law and disorder enforcement monster, isn't he?
posted by MarchHare at 7:28 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by MarchHare at 7:28 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
I'm not sure Hollywood's system allows for a physique like Johnson's to go down any other path. I wonder if he could successfully de-bulk a bit in order to get some non-action roles?
Maybe, if he wanted to. But why take the risk, when he's got at least another 20 action years in him?
posted by tobascodagama at 7:47 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Maybe, if he wanted to. But why take the risk, when he's got at least another 20 action years in him?
posted by tobascodagama at 7:47 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
howfar: You'd think he'd swap in another white fish from time to time. Pollack? Haddock? Nice bit of sea bass?
I like to think that he switches it up once in a while, just for the halibut.
posted by dr_dank at 8:00 PM on March 4, 2016 [30 favorites]
I like to think that he switches it up once in a while, just for the halibut.
posted by dr_dank at 8:00 PM on March 4, 2016 [30 favorites]
I wonder if he could successfully de-bulk a bit in order to get some non-action roles?
I think he is very deliberately carving a career in which he can do so when he is older. But it's a tough, tough industry for a mixed-race person of color, maybe particularly a non-white mixed race person of color. It seems like he made a decision at some point, in a world where the President appointed Schwarzenegger to be Head PE Teacher when we (I mean The Rock and me, because we're tight like that) were 12 years old, that he was going to carve himself a Dwayne-shaped niche to occupy with the materials at hand.
I really like the guy. I worry about his cod intake, and I would not want to be Dutch-ovened by the man, but his fishlifters seem fine so far.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:25 PM on March 4, 2016 [10 favorites]
I think he is very deliberately carving a career in which he can do so when he is older. But it's a tough, tough industry for a mixed-race person of color, maybe particularly a non-white mixed race person of color. It seems like he made a decision at some point, in a world where the President appointed Schwarzenegger to be Head PE Teacher when we (I mean The Rock and me, because we're tight like that) were 12 years old, that he was going to carve himself a Dwayne-shaped niche to occupy with the materials at hand.
I really like the guy. I worry about his cod intake, and I would not want to be Dutch-ovened by the man, but his fishlifters seem fine so far.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:25 PM on March 4, 2016 [10 favorites]
Johnson is actually a pretty good actor. His face shows a lot of emotion. It's really too bad that he's gone the "action hero" route.
It's hard to blame him for going where the money is. Which is action films, and selling cod to action heroes.
posted by notyou at 8:30 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
It's hard to blame him for going where the money is. Which is action films, and selling cod to action heroes.
posted by notyou at 8:30 PM on March 4, 2016 [5 favorites]
I am very flabby. I have waddles that wubble. I used to be the strongest man I knew personally, just literally picking up fridges and moving them places. I was solid fat back then, nowhere near as jiggly since I lost a person's weight worth of fat from inside my body. I don't look lean and cool. I look like a sack of fat that went missing on the way to somewhere important, when I look at myself naked.
I still move fridges. Easier now, since I work out with heavy weights twice per week and occasionally sundays, too. I move fridges one-handed, now. It took a lot of work to get there.
The wubbling waddles fit under my size-L-Tall shirt. Barely. I used to be a 4xlt. Yes, that is such a size.
I am very happy for the genetically gifted people who can eat a ton of fish and look like they are gods made of marble. I had to have surgery to remove most of my stomach to go through a year's worth of post-op complications to look flabby instead of obese. Wanting to look like them, even tho I know I never will, keeps me at the gym. It's hard to explain.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:42 PM on March 4, 2016 [10 favorites]
I still move fridges. Easier now, since I work out with heavy weights twice per week and occasionally sundays, too. I move fridges one-handed, now. It took a lot of work to get there.
The wubbling waddles fit under my size-L-Tall shirt. Barely. I used to be a 4xlt. Yes, that is such a size.
I am very happy for the genetically gifted people who can eat a ton of fish and look like they are gods made of marble. I had to have surgery to remove most of my stomach to go through a year's worth of post-op complications to look flabby instead of obese. Wanting to look like them, even tho I know I never will, keeps me at the gym. It's hard to explain.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:42 PM on March 4, 2016 [10 favorites]
From the comments on that article at The Toast:
Perhaps his real passion is eating cod, and the wrestling and acting and whatnot are just to justify it.
posted by straight at 9:14 PM on March 4, 2016 [58 favorites]
Perhaps his real passion is eating cod, and the wrestling and acting and whatnot are just to justify it.
posted by straight at 9:14 PM on March 4, 2016 [58 favorites]
I could swear I read some thing recently where he said he doesn't eat cod anymore because he hates it now. But damn if I can find it.
posted by kmz at 9:16 PM on March 4, 2016
posted by kmz at 9:16 PM on March 4, 2016
All these comments and nobody is asking about his poop? That's weird. Or am I weird? Like, the dude eats so much food and so he probably poops like, all the time, right? And it's mostly fish scales.
Also as far as I'm concerned the Fast and Furious Franchise turned amazing when he joined and he is the best part of them, always. I have no interest in most of his other movies but I kind of enjoyed The Rundown and Return to Mysterious Island(?) I've never seen him give a bad performance. He's kind of like Terry Crews in that respect.
posted by Neronomius at 9:18 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Also as far as I'm concerned the Fast and Furious Franchise turned amazing when he joined and he is the best part of them, always. I have no interest in most of his other movies but I kind of enjoyed The Rundown and Return to Mysterious Island(?) I've never seen him give a bad performance. He's kind of like Terry Crews in that respect.
posted by Neronomius at 9:18 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Wait, here we go. No word what he's replaced it with though.
posted by kmz at 9:18 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by kmz at 9:18 PM on March 4, 2016 [4 favorites]
Suffice it to say, Neronomius, he does not use a low flush toilet but rather something more like the one in the American embassy when the Simpsons went to Australia.
posted by y2karl at 9:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by y2karl at 9:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Considering how many people work on a single Rock movie, I'd say it's a good use of resources, not a waste.
posted by Ideefixe at 9:30 PM on March 4, 2016
posted by Ideefixe at 9:30 PM on March 4, 2016
MetaFilter: I would not want to be Dutch-ovened by the man
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:31 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:31 PM on March 4, 2016 [3 favorites]
Why are commentators insinuating drug use without a shred of evidence? For shame.
posted by Bistle at 10:13 PM on March 4, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Bistle at 10:13 PM on March 4, 2016 [10 favorites]
No word what he's replaced it with though.
Puffin chunks.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 10:17 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
Puffin chunks.
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 10:17 PM on March 4, 2016 [2 favorites]
So less time than I spend cooking for my husband and I every two to three days, and that's before clean up. Poor diddums.
One assumes that you and your husband are not eating the same damn thing every day. I do all of the cooking in my relationship, and yeah, I probably spend around two hours a day on prep, cooking and clean-up, because if I tried to serve the same thing every night I wouldn't be in a relationship long. When I was single and didn't care about what I was eating, I could prep, cook and clean up after a week's worth of chicken breasts and sides in the span of half an hour.
Economies of scale apply heavily to time spent on food prep.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 10:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
One assumes that you and your husband are not eating the same damn thing every day. I do all of the cooking in my relationship, and yeah, I probably spend around two hours a day on prep, cooking and clean-up, because if I tried to serve the same thing every night I wouldn't be in a relationship long. When I was single and didn't care about what I was eating, I could prep, cook and clean up after a week's worth of chicken breasts and sides in the span of half an hour.
Economies of scale apply heavily to time spent on food prep.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 10:23 PM on March 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
the dude eats so much food and so he probably poops like, all the time, right?
On the contrary, the few guys I've known who ate a similar - extreme - protein-rich low-fat/carb diet (fanatic lifters/bodybuilders studying for a degree in Nutrition) were plagued by constipation. They used laxatives, got hemorroids nevertheless, and were often seen scratching their butt cracks. (This useful information was brought to you by: Enchanting Things You Find Out During Dietary Anamnesis 101 Practicum.)
So anyway, wouldn't this article be called...
[puts on sunglasses]
... a cod piece?
YEAAHH.... [gets yanked from stage with vaudeville hook]
posted by sively at 12:18 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
On the contrary, the few guys I've known who ate a similar - extreme - protein-rich low-fat/carb diet (fanatic lifters/bodybuilders studying for a degree in Nutrition) were plagued by constipation. They used laxatives, got hemorroids nevertheless, and were often seen scratching their butt cracks. (This useful information was brought to you by: Enchanting Things You Find Out During Dietary Anamnesis 101 Practicum.)
So anyway, wouldn't this article be called...
[puts on sunglasses]
... a cod piece?
YEAAHH.... [gets yanked from stage with vaudeville hook]
posted by sively at 12:18 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
You didn't even link to the dude's website about this, Rock'ing For 30 Days, which should be the main link! It's the whole story. A month-long blog journey.
Like, the dude eats so much food and so he probably poops like, all the time, right?
Rock imitating dude discussed this in one of his posts. Said bathroom frequency did not noticeably increase.
Overall the lack of copious photos and body measurements (a la Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock or Christian "fat project" Rudder) made this a considerably less enjoyable read than it should have been.
posted by dgaicun at 12:19 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Like, the dude eats so much food and so he probably poops like, all the time, right?
Rock imitating dude discussed this in one of his posts. Said bathroom frequency did not noticeably increase.
Overall the lack of copious photos and body measurements (a la Morgan "Super Size Me" Spurlock or Christian "fat project" Rudder) made this a considerably less enjoyable read than it should have been.
posted by dgaicun at 12:19 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Oh, absolutely. Steroids without that level of dedication - both in terms of diet and workout regimen - would yield no results.
This is not true. Male hormones are a free lunch. It's why I can sit on my ass all the time and still murder most female athletes at arm wraslin'. (Note: male hormones contribute to shorter male lifespans. Lunch status: less free.)
posted by dgaicun at 12:20 AM on March 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
This is not true. Male hormones are a free lunch. It's why I can sit on my ass all the time and still murder most female athletes at arm wraslin'. (Note: male hormones contribute to shorter male lifespans. Lunch status: less free.)
posted by dgaicun at 12:20 AM on March 5, 2016 [7 favorites]
Past few months, I cook my meals and spend an hour in the gym a day. Woof. I guess if someone cooked for you and you didn't work 8 hours a day it would be alright.
New plan: get rich.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:25 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
New plan: get rich.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 12:25 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
500+ grams of protein a day is ridiculous. Can the human body absorb that much? I'd be as worried or more about kidney load rather than mercury poisoning. He looks good so i guess it works for him. I've given up envying that kind of physique though.
Now that I'm in my midforties I admire the ability to come back to the gym for days in a row more than anything.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:42 AM on March 5, 2016
Now that I'm in my midforties I admire the ability to come back to the gym for days in a row more than anything.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:42 AM on March 5, 2016
If you think Dwayne's physique is attainable without steroids I have a bridge to sell you. Not that he doesn't work and eat like an absolute motherfucker also! And really, there's nothing wrong with taking roids if you have a clear idea of the pros and cons and you're not competing in a clean sports league.
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 2:08 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by nicolas léonard sadi carnot at 2:08 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
Won't somebody think of his poor colon? :clutches pearls:
posted by LMGM at 2:44 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by LMGM at 2:44 AM on March 5, 2016 [1 favorite]
If you think Dwayne's physique is attainable without steroids I have a bridge to sell you.
Can I go fishing under this bridge you are selling?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:17 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
Can I go fishing under this bridge you are selling?
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:17 AM on March 5, 2016 [5 favorites]
No word what he's replaced it with though.
Abalone.
posted by octobersurprise at 4:58 AM on March 5, 2016
Abalone.
posted by octobersurprise at 4:58 AM on March 5, 2016
Hey Dwayne, why does your house always smell like fish?
posted by Splunge at 5:52 AM on March 5, 2016
posted by Splunge at 5:52 AM on March 5, 2016
Dwayne Johnson claims to have not used steroids since he was 18. Here's an article from 2014 where he discusses it. It's up to you if you want to believe this cod-laden man.
posted by A Bad Catholic at 6:30 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by A Bad Catholic at 6:30 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Is this the line to have The Rock cook dinner for you?
posted by Room 641-A at 6:50 AM on March 5, 2016
posted by Room 641-A at 6:50 AM on March 5, 2016
*cocks eyebrow*
posted by Literaryhero at 7:03 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Literaryhero at 7:03 AM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
Is this the line to have The Rock cook dinner for you?
Hope you like cod.
posted by beerperson at 7:18 AM on March 5, 2016
Hope you like cod.
posted by beerperson at 7:18 AM on March 5, 2016
As long as it's rock cod.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:21 AM on March 5, 2016
posted by Room 641-A at 7:21 AM on March 5, 2016
His cod-given talent aside, he and this thread now have this frickin' song wedged in my head.
posted by the sobsister at 7:21 AM on March 5, 2016
posted by the sobsister at 7:21 AM on March 5, 2016
GODDAMMIT DWAYNE DO YOU LIVE INSIDE JOHN STEINBECK’S CANNERY ROW
"ALSO I DON’T WANNA GET TOO PERSONAL BUT YOUR FARTS MUST BE OUTRAGEOUS SIR"
posted by kirkaracha at 8:06 AM on March 5, 2016
There's no way this guy doesn't smell like the penguin enclosure at the zoo. With a light coat of Axe body spray.
posted by corey flood at 3:25 PM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by corey flood at 3:25 PM on March 5, 2016 [3 favorites]
People are not right in head. I lived on two cans of tuna a day for 3 months, twice in my life. You don't fart, you don't poop very much. You actually get massively constipated. What Mr. Johnson probably saves in toilet paper more than pays for his cod jones. It's them greasy, delicious carbs you're thinkin' of.
posted by Chitownfats at 5:30 PM on March 5, 2016
posted by Chitownfats at 5:30 PM on March 5, 2016
Reading this guy's blog reminded me how much better I felt when I had a lot of protein in my diet and was exercising regularly. I've gotten the exercise mostly going again but not the protein. So when I went out to the farmer's market this morning I bought some eggs and made a nice big scramble. It was super rad and hopefully I can get that habit of Protein Breakfast back in my life again.
posted by egypturnash at 12:18 AM on March 6, 2016
posted by egypturnash at 12:18 AM on March 6, 2016
I like to think that he switches it up once in a while, just for the halibut.
Oh for fuck's hake!
posted by howfar at 4:01 AM on March 6, 2016
Oh for fuck's hake!
posted by howfar at 4:01 AM on March 6, 2016
I'm sure that's not the sole fish he eats.
posted by Room 641-A at 4:25 AM on March 6, 2016
posted by Room 641-A at 4:25 AM on March 6, 2016
I'm still floundering for an adequate pun.
posted by Chitownfats at 5:10 AM on March 6, 2016
posted by Chitownfats at 5:10 AM on March 6, 2016
mercury poisoning
I kinda suspect he gets away with it because of zinc supplementation.
zamboni, that comment goes above and beyond
posted by iffthen at 6:20 AM on March 6, 2016
I kinda suspect he gets away with it because of zinc supplementation.
zamboni, that comment goes above and beyond
posted by iffthen at 6:20 AM on March 6, 2016
One of my coworkers does body building and was eating seven times a day. It seemed like eating was a job for him - both the preparation and consumption. And yes, the farting was ... not fun to be around.
posted by sciencegeek at 9:03 AM on March 6, 2016
posted by sciencegeek at 9:03 AM on March 6, 2016
Well I guess Mr. camera shy won't be providing any embarrassing flex photos, but we can at least compare his latest cheat day photo with his "before" photo at the top of his sidebar.
I guess if you eat 10 meals and 5000 calories a day but do a heavy two hour workout, you'll (or he'll at least) burn all the extra calories away. He looks the same. Muscle building is pretty slow, so 30 days of lifting apparently won't do much (it was only like four days/hours of training for each muscle group). You can't shortcut buff by eating shitloads of fish.
I don't know, man. A 365 day rock challenge would have been way more interesting. The biggest gains are in the first year and it would've been instructive to see how one person's genetics responded.
Joel Stein did a similar thing for GQ, where he went on the crash three month Hollywood action hero training regimen. The after picture shows he was able to get pretty cut in a relatively short amount of time. Apparently a major ingredient to this was simply walking 12,000 steps a day, which is not only eminently do-able, but not too much more than the 10,000 steps a day that doctors actually recommend!
posted by dgaicun at 5:06 AM on March 8, 2016
I guess if you eat 10 meals and 5000 calories a day but do a heavy two hour workout, you'll (or he'll at least) burn all the extra calories away. He looks the same. Muscle building is pretty slow, so 30 days of lifting apparently won't do much (it was only like four days/hours of training for each muscle group). You can't shortcut buff by eating shitloads of fish.
I don't know, man. A 365 day rock challenge would have been way more interesting. The biggest gains are in the first year and it would've been instructive to see how one person's genetics responded.
Joel Stein did a similar thing for GQ, where he went on the crash three month Hollywood action hero training regimen. The after picture shows he was able to get pretty cut in a relatively short amount of time. Apparently a major ingredient to this was simply walking 12,000 steps a day, which is not only eminently do-able, but not too much more than the 10,000 steps a day that doctors actually recommend!
posted by dgaicun at 5:06 AM on March 8, 2016
I'm sure that's not the sole fish he eats.
posted by Room 641-A at 7:25 AM on March 6
I'm still floundering for an adequate pun.
posted by Chitownfats at 8:10 AM on March 6
This is neither the time nor plaice for such puns.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:45 PM on March 9, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Room 641-A at 7:25 AM on March 6
I'm still floundering for an adequate pun.
posted by Chitownfats at 8:10 AM on March 6
This is neither the time nor plaice for such puns.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:45 PM on March 9, 2016 [2 favorites]
OK, so on this diet you're spending over $40 a day and $15000 a year, so you can forcefeed ungodly amounts of cod in yer maw seven times a day. So surely The Rock knows what he's doing, right? His crazy hugeness must be more than crazy genetics + a standard daily hour of weight training. Cod genocide is the only way cuz' MUY PROTEIN is the secret scientifical key to ROCK BUFFNESS.
Except ...
posted by dgaicun at 4:07 PM on March 16, 2016
Except ...
In resistance-trained young men who do not significantly alter their training regimen, consuming a high protein diet (2.6 to 3.3 g/kg/day) over a 4-month period has no effect on blood lipids or markers of renal and hepatic function. Nor were there any changes in performance or body composition. This is the first crossover trial using resistance-trained subjects in which the elevation of protein intake to over four times the recommended dietary allowance has shown no harmful effects.Save the cod, eat like a normal person. This protein dogma is a fish-murdering fad.
posted by dgaicun at 4:07 PM on March 16, 2016
Know your role! Those jabroni scientists can't smell what The Rock is cookin'!
posted by box at 8:35 PM on March 16, 2016
posted by box at 8:35 PM on March 16, 2016
The Rock is an African-Canadian-Samoan professional wrestler who is the biggest movie star in the world, and you want to apply logic to him?
posted by Etrigan at 3:58 AM on March 17, 2016
posted by Etrigan at 3:58 AM on March 17, 2016
Props to Rock imitatin' guy for finally providing shirtless before and after photos, despite his discomfort with Internet selfies.
The big irony is how much slimmer he looks despite eating so much food everyday. (Dude legit "ate his way through to the other side"!)
Another irony, in my opinion, is that I think fat makes a lot of men look stronger and more dominant/imposing than slim muscular men. I'm more scared of the guy on the left, and honestly even the chubster on the bottom.
I mean take a look at skinny Penn Jillette and tell me he doesn't look significantly weaker and less line-backery than old Penn.
posted by dgaicun at 3:16 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
The big irony is how much slimmer he looks despite eating so much food everyday. (Dude legit "ate his way through to the other side"!)
Another irony, in my opinion, is that I think fat makes a lot of men look stronger and more dominant/imposing than slim muscular men. I'm more scared of the guy on the left, and honestly even the chubster on the bottom.
I mean take a look at skinny Penn Jillette and tell me he doesn't look significantly weaker and less line-backery than old Penn.
posted by dgaicun at 3:16 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Rock imitatin' guy has a post-game thread up at reddit, and it's pretty funny/sad. Lot's of annoying broz missing the point about the workout being a whimsical challenge and not an effort to look like The Rock ("dude you coulda' totally got shredded if you'd worked out/eaten like this..."). Lots of amusing comments pointing out the obvious fact that tons of cod + typical 5 day split routine = The Rock, doesn't add up quite as plausibly as 5 day split + roids = The Rock. (The ubiquity of sports/entertainment juicing has blinded the world to what normal, clean high level athleticism actually looks like).
Mostly though the thread is in revolt over the fact dude didn't gain any weight at 5000 calories per day. They are so deep in "calories in, calories out" orthodoxy that this guy has to be badly mistaken about how much he ate or exercised, or is lying, even though those are absurd accusations.
I'm still trying to evaluate Gary Taubes' refutation of the idea that I read last year 'Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It', and I can see that this little example is totally consistent with his argument: dude didn't get fat because the extreme excess calories were overwhelmingly from protein and not carbohydrates.
posted by dgaicun at 7:57 PM on March 17, 2016
Mostly though the thread is in revolt over the fact dude didn't gain any weight at 5000 calories per day. They are so deep in "calories in, calories out" orthodoxy that this guy has to be badly mistaken about how much he ate or exercised, or is lying, even though those are absurd accusations.
I'm still trying to evaluate Gary Taubes' refutation of the idea that I read last year 'Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It', and I can see that this little example is totally consistent with his argument: dude didn't get fat because the extreme excess calories were overwhelmingly from protein and not carbohydrates.
posted by dgaicun at 7:57 PM on March 17, 2016
Ha, I'm liking this Natty Or Not website that points a skeptical eye toward the reality distortion field created by steroids:
"If someone with big muscles says the key to muscle growth is eating six meals a day, he is as dumb as a doorknob and on roids."
Physiques Achieved Without Steroids
How Big Can You Get Naturally Without Steroids?
How Do True Natural Bodybuilders Look At 5% Bodyfat
Here is another site that speculates on the types of steroids being used by the suspiciously shaped athletes and actors that populate this modern age of chemical super heroes.
posted by dgaicun at 1:25 PM on March 19, 2016
"If someone with big muscles says the key to muscle growth is eating six meals a day, he is as dumb as a doorknob and on roids."
Physiques Achieved Without Steroids
How Big Can You Get Naturally Without Steroids?
How Do True Natural Bodybuilders Look At 5% Bodyfat
Here is another site that speculates on the types of steroids being used by the suspiciously shaped athletes and actors that populate this modern age of chemical super heroes.
posted by dgaicun at 1:25 PM on March 19, 2016
How am I living in a world where Natty or Not is a bodybuilding website and not a Pepsi Challenge for college beers?
posted by Literaryhero at 3:43 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Literaryhero at 3:43 AM on March 21, 2016 [1 favorite]
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