Cyclists chased by an ostrich
March 8, 2016 3:21 PM   Subscribe

Irate ostrich hits 50kph in awesome high-speed pursuit of cyclists [RT] - "So we were on our training ride, around Cape Town, South Africa. The route was following the Cape Argus racing course with a detour to Cape of Good Hope. The road through the national park is quiet and a little deserted. Suddenly I heard a noise on my left and saw a big ostrich in the bush, most likely a female." (via)
posted by kliuless (39 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Muldoon: They're lethal at eight months, and I do mean lethal. I've hunted most things that can hunt you, but the way these things move...

Dr. Grant: Fast for a biped?

Muldoon: Cheetah speed. Fifty, sixty miles an hour if they ever got out into the open, and they're astonishing jumpers...

John Hammond: Yes, yes, yes. That's why we're taking extreme precautions.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:26 PM on March 8, 2016 [19 favorites]


Just imagine how fast that bird would go if it could ride a bike.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 3:30 PM on March 8, 2016 [23 favorites]




This is where the out-and-back gets changed to a loop on account of the 10 foot tall turbocharged death chicken. Seriously, fuck birds.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:44 PM on March 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


turbocharged death chicken

1. Metal Band or
2. Fast Food Item?
posted by dhens at 3:47 PM on March 8, 2016 [13 favorites]


Now THAT'S how to get motivated!
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:49 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Chased? Looked to me like it was just going along for the ride. Aren't ostriches herd animals? Maybe it just wanted to see where everyone was going…
posted by danny the boy at 3:50 PM on March 8, 2016 [9 favorites]


They laugh while it is a downhill....
posted by srboisvert at 3:53 PM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Nah, the bird's a fred like me. Saw some fast riders go by and decided to try to ride with 'em. Like all freds, we get dropped in about a minute.

Keep pushing, ostrich. Work hard. Soon you'll be able to hang with the pack all day.
posted by suckerpunch at 3:55 PM on March 8, 2016 [16 favorites]


If you could train an ostrich to run in a straight line, would it make a good leadout man for a sprint train?
posted by thewalrus at 3:56 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


If you could train an ostrich to run in a straight line, would it make a good leadout man for a sprint train?

Use it to replace the derny in the Keirin.
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 4:03 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


needs more kangaroo
posted by Fupped Duck at 4:06 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


The thing that amazed me was how long the bird actually ran. I mean, he was going that fast for what seemed like minutes (I guess one minute is more like it). I kept wondering if the dude riding behind the ostrich filming the whole thing was just thinking to himself, "Don't look behind you, I'm not here, don't look behind you..."
posted by Chuffy at 4:08 PM on March 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


So here I am standing at the bus stop in the middle of Fairfax Virginia laughing so hard and so long that now I'm doing the pee pee dance. So why am I compelled to watch this again?? ...and again and again ...
posted by ezust at 4:09 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Jesus, Ostrich- hold your line!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:14 PM on March 8, 2016 [19 favorites]


Damn Ostrich thinks it's Mark Cavendish.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:20 PM on March 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


There's no way that ostrich isn't doping. They all do it, you know.
posted by mudpuppie at 4:26 PM on March 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


STAY ON TARGET
posted by lumpenprole at 4:26 PM on March 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Best Strava segment of their lives.
posted by cmfletcher at 4:31 PM on March 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


While we're talking about chasing ostriches, I still haven't solved that, and it haunts me.
posted by cashman at 4:39 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Listen, and understand! It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.
posted by longdaysjourney at 4:45 PM on March 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


That's awesome, it's so fast! I knew they could hit mph speeds, but it's another thing to actually see it. Is that it screeching as well?

See also: Kevin Hart - "I Don't Like Ostrich's"

> Looked to me like it was just going along for the ride

That's what I thought too, the bird and the riders look very similar if you squint. The one just in front even has the same black on the bottom, white on top marking.
posted by lucidium at 5:18 PM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Anyone who thinks an ostrich won't try to chase down any challenger to its title as fastest biped on the veldt must just have their head in the sand.
posted by Flashman at 5:21 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hey longdaysjourney, the quotes thread is over here. :)
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:35 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


> Seriously, fuck birds.

Hey now.

I wonder what the people standing by the side of the road (about 1:02) thought? Besides WTF, wait, did we just see that?
posted by rtha at 5:44 PM on March 8, 2016 [11 favorites]


rtha: That was my first thought too! I can't even imagine just walking around near some deserted road and then that whole scene goes by.
posted by primalux at 5:58 PM on March 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


“I was following behind almost falling of my bike from laughter. The creature had no problem to keep up at 50kph! Luckily it left us alone because we were about to run out of the road, at it is a dead end at the Cape of Good Hope."

So the person doing the camera work was also peddling a bicycle at 50kph? And laughing? I would like the video of them!
posted by bukvich at 6:03 PM on March 8, 2016


Related
posted by glaucon at 6:05 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I was impressed with how much its neck waggled in order to keep its head stable. I mean, a lot of birds do that gyroscopic-head thing but only in the air and with considerably less neck to move around. Seeing it in this context is almost hypnotizing.
posted by traveler_ at 7:08 PM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


That's one relentless ostrich.

Flashback to Terminator 2.
posted by raider at 7:15 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Exeunt, pursued by an ostrich.
posted by ostro at 7:31 PM on March 8, 2016 [7 favorites]


I don't know about anyone else, but I would be petrified and would.not.stop.biking.

I had a 'Behavior of Zoo Animals' class as an undergrad. We actually had the class at the Denver Zoo, and the prof would tell us stories and things that happened at the zoo and with the people who took care of the animals. Please note that there is no way to verify what he told us (as in no published articles) and I am not a behaviorist, so terminology might be off.

But he told us quite a few times that the people who had to work in the cages/pens with the animals in any capacity, should A) watch what they are doing (movements) because often times there is a behavior back and forth between animals of the same species for behavior 2 and behavior 3 (you can tell what will happen next), B) know what the signals meant for the animals that you work with, and C) there is a slight challenge because some animals have been used to people for their entire lives and can start to identify humans as one of their own.

So the prof told us about a person cleaning out an ostrich pen who was not paying attention. Apparently one of the ostriches began moving its wings back and forth in a way to signal its intended behavior ...with its target (person in the pen). The person kept sweeping, still not paying attention, and turned its back on the ostrich....and it charged at him, stood on him, etc. (it had been signaling the next step for mating). Apparently the person that it happened to was very shaken up.

So again, that ostrich is huge, I wouldn't pause to figure out what the hell it's doing, especially if my clothing matched the damn ostrich.

But I love, love the video and I don't mind watching someone else running for their lives. Run, people, run.
posted by Wolfster at 7:34 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Looking back and seeing an ostrich coming at a dead run would be terrifying, though this one looked more like it was just along for the ride.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:37 PM on March 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Agreed, the bird looked like someone out for a brisk but enjoyable workout: no killing rage or whatever. Honest.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:49 PM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


I know YouTube comments are generally awful, but I LOLed at this one:

"If the ostrich can run that fast, imagine if it had a bicycle."
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 9:50 PM on March 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


That's not an ostrich. That's a velociraptor.

(Sorry, having a flashback to the time I got chased out of a park by an angry black swan.)
posted by Soliloquy at 8:01 AM on March 9, 2016


Soliloquy: ...the time I got chased out of a park by an angry black swan.

Happens all the time!
posted by wenestvedt at 8:10 AM on March 9, 2016


Seriously, fuck birds.

Fun fact: birds do not have vaginas. (maybe not fun for birds)
posted by srboisvert at 8:46 AM on March 9, 2016


Only thing missing is a jockey.
posted by gottabefunky at 12:08 PM on March 9, 2016


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