You work with the temperament you’re given
March 14, 2016 1:45 PM Subscribe
Some babies are just easier than others. (SL New York Times Well blog)
some babies are bigger than others
some babies are bigger than other babies' mothers
posted by dismas at 2:06 PM on March 14, 2016 [27 favorites]
some babies are bigger than other babies' mothers
posted by dismas at 2:06 PM on March 14, 2016 [27 favorites]
From the article, I have had a father ask me if couples have gotten a divorce because their child wouldn't sleep through the night...
It was rough with our first, eight loooooong months of no sleep and crying (and that wasn't always the baby), and absolutely the stress can wear on couples, but that makes me so glad that instead of breaking apart we bonded over the insanity, much like a couple of prisoners of war. In moments of stress we still sometimes joke - You load the kid, I'll make the sign.
That experience really, really made me unsure about having another child. My partner would bring up about how different temperaments were, and how unlikely it would be to have the same experience, and I would say, but WHAT IF IT'S THE SAME! So, yeah, the second child was indeed very different and those differences continue to amaze and delight, and frustrate.
posted by dawg-proud at 2:10 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
It was rough with our first, eight loooooong months of no sleep and crying (and that wasn't always the baby), and absolutely the stress can wear on couples, but that makes me so glad that instead of breaking apart we bonded over the insanity, much like a couple of prisoners of war. In moments of stress we still sometimes joke - You load the kid, I'll make the sign.
That experience really, really made me unsure about having another child. My partner would bring up about how different temperaments were, and how unlikely it would be to have the same experience, and I would say, but WHAT IF IT'S THE SAME! So, yeah, the second child was indeed very different and those differences continue to amaze and delight, and frustrate.
posted by dawg-proud at 2:10 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Within the range of developmentally normal children, some parents have a much, much harder job than others: more drudge work, less gratification, more public shaming.
It wouldn't sell millions of copies and land me on Oprah, but during the baby years, I often dreamed of writing a Parenting Book with just one sentence:
Do what works for you and don't worry about everyone else.
'Cause honestly, one of the things you learn if you really talk to other parents is that all kids come with their own struggles.
My kid, great sleeper. Horrible eater, as in 8 hours without a taking a bottle horrible.
On the other hand, we never had a diaper blowout.
My neighbors? Kid slept through the night from day 1, ate like a horse, but, my god, the diapers were bad. Like exorcist, crap all over the walls bad.
Every kid has a different story.
Find the routine that keeps you sane and your child healthy and screw anyone who tries to bring you down for it.
posted by madajb at 2:21 PM on March 14, 2016 [26 favorites]
It wouldn't sell millions of copies and land me on Oprah, but during the baby years, I often dreamed of writing a Parenting Book with just one sentence:
Do what works for you and don't worry about everyone else.
'Cause honestly, one of the things you learn if you really talk to other parents is that all kids come with their own struggles.
My kid, great sleeper. Horrible eater, as in 8 hours without a taking a bottle horrible.
On the other hand, we never had a diaper blowout.
My neighbors? Kid slept through the night from day 1, ate like a horse, but, my god, the diapers were bad. Like exorcist, crap all over the walls bad.
Every kid has a different story.
Find the routine that keeps you sane and your child healthy and screw anyone who tries to bring you down for it.
posted by madajb at 2:21 PM on March 14, 2016 [26 favorites]
That experience really, really made me unsure about having another child.
We had medical reasons that forced our hand into only having one child, but I think our very difficult daughter (my mother-in-law had seven kids and admitted that she had no idea what to do about our little one when she came to help us out for a few days) would have prevented us from thinking seriously about a second. In the end, I think it was the right thing for our family, but I really don't know how parents of tough-to-handle infants ever have another kiddo.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:51 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
We had medical reasons that forced our hand into only having one child, but I think our very difficult daughter (my mother-in-law had seven kids and admitted that she had no idea what to do about our little one when she came to help us out for a few days) would have prevented us from thinking seriously about a second. In the end, I think it was the right thing for our family, but I really don't know how parents of tough-to-handle infants ever have another kiddo.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:51 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
We had 3 kids in 30 months and all three were really good sleepers. Our pediatrician was Marc Weisbluth who wrote books on sleeping and he used to want to sort of take credit for it. He would ask if we were following his advice on all the handouts he gave us. We would say yes, but the truth was we were just sticking to a schedule and putting them down. The baby's did all the work and all the sleeping. Ex the similar good sleepers the three of them were very different in every other aspect of life. We appreciated early on that we were just lucky with the sleep and that the normal state of being a kid was so dependent on the kid. Back in the diaper stage we used to say "shit happens" for both shitting and for the accidents, the tantrums, the accomplishments etc. Once we stopped looking for milestones and similarities,
madajb is correct; just do what works for you, your child, and the family and move on.
posted by AugustWest at 3:14 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
madajb is correct; just do what works for you, your child, and the family and move on.
posted by AugustWest at 3:14 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
My sons are adults and are extraordinary young men. Occasionally people have remarked that my husband and I must have been wonderful parents to raise such fine sons. I generally say, "Nope. They came from the Maker that way. We just tried not to screw it up much." You get what you get and some of us have a way easier road than others, and there's no rhyme nor reason for it. Best not to judge anyone's efforts. Most of us are doing the best we can.
posted by angiep at 3:23 PM on March 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by angiep at 3:23 PM on March 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
I would frequently tell myself that babies don't cry themselves to death and that no one I went to university with wore a diaper. That helped.
posted by GuyZero at 3:48 PM on March 14, 2016 [21 favorites]
posted by GuyZero at 3:48 PM on March 14, 2016 [21 favorites]
Do what works for you and don't worry about everyone else.
And I'd add another one:
What works for Kid #1 may well not work at all for Kid #2.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 3:50 PM on March 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
And I'd add another one:
What works for Kid #1 may well not work at all for Kid #2.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 3:50 PM on March 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
One of my best friends now, my wife introduced me to when we all were deep into our first year of (difficult) first kids, after she met his wife in a newborn group: "You should meet [X] - he's having a really tough time too!"
posted by gottabefunky at 3:53 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by gottabefunky at 3:53 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Wow, I thought that was my daughter's photo when I saw it, it took a few seconds to be 100% sure it was not. I guess that expression is pretty common.
posted by waving at 5:15 PM on March 14, 2016
posted by waving at 5:15 PM on March 14, 2016
We had a baby who was, I realize in retrospect, a "difficult" baby: did not like it if she wasn't held by me at all times, fussy if we deviated from any routine, a horrific sleeper until 27 mos. I honestly figured that the baby was like this because I wasn't a very good mother. It was sweet vindication when even "good" mothers couldn't make my girl magically self-soothe or sleep; it was honestly the first time I thought, "Maybe I just didn't get an 'easy' baby."
Still, the experience was enough to put us in the "one and done" camp. I do not trust the universe to deliver on "the next one will be easier."
posted by sobell at 7:14 PM on March 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
Still, the experience was enough to put us in the "one and done" camp. I do not trust the universe to deliver on "the next one will be easier."
posted by sobell at 7:14 PM on March 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
I was just telling my husband last night that if I'd known what a miserable time we would have slogging through the newborn months with our colicky son -- who didn't nap and raged anytime he wasn't being held or nursed (and sometimes when he was) -- I probably would have never gone through with it. He's grown into a lovely sweet toddler though, and I can't imagine (don't want to imagine) life without him.
One and done though, seriously.
posted by trunk muffins at 7:30 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
One and done though, seriously.
posted by trunk muffins at 7:30 PM on March 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
"really don't know how parents of tough-to-handle infants ever have another kiddo."
Sleep deprivation --> poor decision making
Second one had colic. It was different, but not better.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:46 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Sleep deprivation --> poor decision making
Second one had colic. It was different, but not better.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:46 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
You forget a lot of this stuff too. My son had a terrible witching hour from 4pm until bedtime, but we can't remember when that ended. 3 months? 8 months? Our what we did to make it stop. Our daughter is 5 months and mostly a nice baby, but she screams her head off starting at 4 just like her big brother. So even if I'd like to do with her what we did with him, I can't sufficiently recall my actions from 24 months ago to do a damn thing, anyway. The sound of a baby screaming seriously fries your brain.
posted by gatorae at 9:01 PM on March 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by gatorae at 9:01 PM on March 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
In our case our first baby was so easy (after we figured out the nursing part) that she deterred us from having a second -- chances are that we won't get as easy a baby, and we are rather spoiled and untried as parents.
posted by em at 9:03 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by em at 9:03 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
I can count on one hand the number of times my 11 month old has cried uncontrollably. One and done is right! Hallelu. Nailed it. But he IS "high energy," whoooa nelly. I have noticed other babies his age can be "set down somewhere." Would that it were so. Too bad for me about that whole "I can write a dissertation with a baby in a playpen" fantasy.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:51 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:51 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Is this sort of thing hereditary? I mean, evidently there's quite a bit of variation, given that a lot of people talk about Baby 1 and Baby 2 being very different, but is there some correlation between having an 'easy' baby and having been one yourself?
posted by fermion at 11:33 PM on March 14, 2016
posted by fermion at 11:33 PM on March 14, 2016
And given a longer distance — years stretching into decades — most of us, parents and children, do find it possible to look back and smile.
Decades, you say? That's reassuring because my son is almost three and I still can't talk about the first three months without bursting into tears.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 1:56 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Decades, you say? That's reassuring because my son is almost three and I still can't talk about the first three months without bursting into tears.
posted by lollymccatburglar at 1:56 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
What works for Kid #1 may well not work at all for Kid #2.
By all accounts, I was The Worst Baby Who Ever Lived. Constant crying, attachment issues so severe that mom couldn't hire a babysitter or shower alone for years, and a complete inability to fall asleep unless in motion: circling the block in the car, swooping back and forth, motorized swing, etc. When my sister came along, my folks figured they had figured out all the possible wrinkles she could throw.
After four days at home, the new baby had only stopped crying long enough to gulp down a few meals, and refused to sleep no matter what my parents did. Dad recounts running through a full tank of gas trying to get her to bed one night. In desperation, they called the pediatrician, who in one of those obvious-in-hindsight moments asked "Have you tried just putting her down in the crib?" Bang. Problem solved. Turns out she was the Easiest Baby, who would curl up and sleep anywhere, and would cheerfully eat anything and hang out with anyone.
Sorry, mom
posted by Mayor West at 4:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
By all accounts, I was The Worst Baby Who Ever Lived. Constant crying, attachment issues so severe that mom couldn't hire a babysitter or shower alone for years, and a complete inability to fall asleep unless in motion: circling the block in the car, swooping back and forth, motorized swing, etc. When my sister came along, my folks figured they had figured out all the possible wrinkles she could throw.
After four days at home, the new baby had only stopped crying long enough to gulp down a few meals, and refused to sleep no matter what my parents did. Dad recounts running through a full tank of gas trying to get her to bed one night. In desperation, they called the pediatrician, who in one of those obvious-in-hindsight moments asked "Have you tried just putting her down in the crib?" Bang. Problem solved. Turns out she was the Easiest Baby, who would curl up and sleep anywhere, and would cheerfully eat anything and hang out with anyone.
Sorry, mom
posted by Mayor West at 4:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
This is the clearest example of an article I've read that would be of no interest to someone without kids, and contains nothing new for people that have kids. But I guess it's nice to know we share the same struggles.
My 2nd just started sleeping through the night this week (9months). It's like winning the lottery... except our 3 year old now wakes up a couple of times a night for random reasons.
The first person to market over-the-counter toddler sleeping pills that actually work is going to make a fortune!
posted by blue_beetle at 5:15 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
My 2nd just started sleeping through the night this week (9months). It's like winning the lottery... except our 3 year old now wakes up a couple of times a night for random reasons.
The first person to market over-the-counter toddler sleeping pills that actually work is going to make a fortune!
posted by blue_beetle at 5:15 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Got a number of friends who've recently become parents or are about to and it kills me to hear the amount of anxiety about "getting things right" that they go through. My main advice echoes others in the thread: go with the flow and try not to overestimate your influence on the outcome. As new parents, the idea that all parenting challenges have a "solution" is dangerously seductive and, as you flail helplessly in the Fog of Waaah it is tempting to credit any "success" to your own actions (must arise from an innate survival mechanism). Makes for some crippling self doubt and acute tension when things don't "work" (or stop working after apparent initial triumph)
My first one screamed with undiagnosed reflux for the first few months (hey, we just thought that was what all babies did - until my mum said "Um, he's unusually thin."), didn't sleep through until he was five and still eats like a sparrow. Tried almost every technique but, in the end, the exhaustion just left us with no other tactic but to hold him and breath through the tough times. Awesome, intense little guy is snoring just a metre away. Now we have nine-month-old twin girls who look like the Michelin Man, eat for Australia and appear to have no trouble getting through the night, on average. Same parents, even less effort to control things, different outcome.
Mrs Potoroo and I are both secure in the knowledge that it's likely nothing to do with us.
posted by Lesser Spotted Potoroo at 5:23 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
My first one screamed with undiagnosed reflux for the first few months (hey, we just thought that was what all babies did - until my mum said "Um, he's unusually thin."), didn't sleep through until he was five and still eats like a sparrow. Tried almost every technique but, in the end, the exhaustion just left us with no other tactic but to hold him and breath through the tough times. Awesome, intense little guy is snoring just a metre away. Now we have nine-month-old twin girls who look like the Michelin Man, eat for Australia and appear to have no trouble getting through the night, on average. Same parents, even less effort to control things, different outcome.
Mrs Potoroo and I are both secure in the knowledge that it's likely nothing to do with us.
posted by Lesser Spotted Potoroo at 5:23 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
It took nearly 2 years to get my son to sleep through the night and even now at 3, it's a bit of a gamble.
We're 8 weeks out from baby #2 now and as Dr. Gonzo said, "I think I'm getting the Fear."
posted by tehjoel at 5:54 AM on March 15, 2016
We're 8 weeks out from baby #2 now and as Dr. Gonzo said, "I think I'm getting the Fear."
posted by tehjoel at 5:54 AM on March 15, 2016
As new parents, the idea that all parenting challenges have a "solution" is dangerously seductive and, as you flail helplessly in the Fog of Waaah it is tempting to credit any "success" to your own actions (must arise from an innate survival mechanism). Makes for some crippling self doubt and acute tension when things don't "work" (or stop working after apparent initial triumph)
Oh my yes. I can't tell you how many times I thought of House of Stairs as my wife and/or I enacted some elaborate routine to convince my daughter to eat or sleep.
And for those of you with tough babies right now or in the recent past, I can say that my teenage daughter has been one of the easiest and most fun kids to parent since she was about 2 or 3 and started sleeping through the night and feeding herself.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:39 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh my yes. I can't tell you how many times I thought of House of Stairs as my wife and/or I enacted some elaborate routine to convince my daughter to eat or sleep.
And for those of you with tough babies right now or in the recent past, I can say that my teenage daughter has been one of the easiest and most fun kids to parent since she was about 2 or 3 and started sleeping through the night and feeding herself.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:39 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
For a while our kid would only sleep in a crib if you propped his bottle up and let him nurse himself to sleep, so we did. *
He would only potty train if you sat him pantsless on the potty and let him watch Thomas the Tank Engine for two hours. So we did.**
For a while he would eat nothing but plain pasta, applesauce and fruit. So we let him. ***
When nothing else works, you throw out the baby books and do what you have to.
*We did make sure to brush his baby teeth when he woke up. Swaddling and co-sleeping at that point had utterly failed. We lived in an apartment complex and couldn't do cry it out unless we wanted our neighbors to hate us.
**He was utterly uninterested in stickers, toys, candy, songs or any other things that we were supposed to use to motivate him to potty. He was a big enough kid that we worried we'd have to buy him adult diapers and cut them down because he'd outgrow the pullup pants sizes. He seemed perfectly content to keep wearing them forever.
***The day we got him to like cheese was a good day. Protein at last! Nowadays he and I can demolish a roast chicken between us.
posted by emjaybee at 7:22 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
He would only potty train if you sat him pantsless on the potty and let him watch Thomas the Tank Engine for two hours. So we did.**
For a while he would eat nothing but plain pasta, applesauce and fruit. So we let him. ***
When nothing else works, you throw out the baby books and do what you have to.
*We did make sure to brush his baby teeth when he woke up. Swaddling and co-sleeping at that point had utterly failed. We lived in an apartment complex and couldn't do cry it out unless we wanted our neighbors to hate us.
**He was utterly uninterested in stickers, toys, candy, songs or any other things that we were supposed to use to motivate him to potty. He was a big enough kid that we worried we'd have to buy him adult diapers and cut them down because he'd outgrow the pullup pants sizes. He seemed perfectly content to keep wearing them forever.
***The day we got him to like cheese was a good day. Protein at last! Nowadays he and I can demolish a roast chicken between us.
posted by emjaybee at 7:22 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
This is giving me some sort of hope that our next child will be a better sleeper than our current one. Just over a year in and I haven't had a single night where I got a full night's sleep -- Soren has woken me up at least once a night his entire life.
posted by The Juche Idea at 7:44 AM on March 15, 2016
posted by The Juche Idea at 7:44 AM on March 15, 2016
The Juche Idea, our daughter was the same way until her 2nd birthday when - against the advice of parents and experts - we got rid of her crib and put her in a "big girl bed". It was just a mattress on a low slatted base, so she was less than a foot off the floor. She literally never gave us waking-in-the-night problems from that day forward. Didn't always want to go to sleep, but once she was asleep she stayed asleep, with very rare exceptions. I tell people if we had to do it over again I might have gotten rid of the crib as early as age one (she was walking at 10 months). It probably depends on how active and prone to getting himself into trouble your one-year-old is, but maybe something to think about?
posted by Rock Steady at 7:53 AM on March 15, 2016
posted by Rock Steady at 7:53 AM on March 15, 2016
What works for Kid #1 may well not work at all for Kid #2.
Our first kid was a bit late for everything, walking, toilet-training, etc, but we tried to be calm about it. Kid #2 was two years younger (nearly to the day) and when she saw kid #1 toilet training she decided that was the way to go and they both stopped diapers about the same time. It was super-weird. From then on we tried to gently exploit the positive side of sibling rivalry.
posted by GuyZero at 8:24 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Our first kid was a bit late for everything, walking, toilet-training, etc, but we tried to be calm about it. Kid #2 was two years younger (nearly to the day) and when she saw kid #1 toilet training she decided that was the way to go and they both stopped diapers about the same time. It was super-weird. From then on we tried to gently exploit the positive side of sibling rivalry.
posted by GuyZero at 8:24 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is the clearest example of an article I've read that would be of no interest to someone without kids, and contains nothing new for people that have kids. But I guess it's nice to know we share the same struggles.
I posted it because I read a lot of Metafilter when my (difficult) son was an infant, and most of the parenting content was advice along the lines of "Well, I just ...[some random thing that never worked for my son]." It was terribly demoralizing.
I thought there might be some other parents with difficult babies who might want to read something reassuring about how it's not them: it's not your technique; it's not your inherent abilities as a parent that's making this hard. Sometimes it's just hard.
As for containing no new information: I still have parents in my various cohorts who still imply I'm a shitty mother because my 4-year-old is (still) a bad sleeper. You see, they have good sleepers, and they made them good sleepers (by just doing X!). It's maddening, and I try to minimize contact with them. But I think you're overestimating how generous parents are with each other.
posted by purpleclover at 9:04 AM on March 15, 2016 [8 favorites]
I posted it because I read a lot of Metafilter when my (difficult) son was an infant, and most of the parenting content was advice along the lines of "Well, I just ...[some random thing that never worked for my son]." It was terribly demoralizing.
I thought there might be some other parents with difficult babies who might want to read something reassuring about how it's not them: it's not your technique; it's not your inherent abilities as a parent that's making this hard. Sometimes it's just hard.
As for containing no new information: I still have parents in my various cohorts who still imply I'm a shitty mother because my 4-year-old is (still) a bad sleeper. You see, they have good sleepers, and they made them good sleepers (by just doing X!). It's maddening, and I try to minimize contact with them. But I think you're overestimating how generous parents are with each other.
posted by purpleclover at 9:04 AM on March 15, 2016 [8 favorites]
One of our famous family stories about me: my mother left me with a sitter from an agency when I was under a year old. She warned the sitter that I was a difficult baby and the sitter said, "Oh, I'm sure we'll be just fine!" Ma came back at the end of the day and the sitter said "You know, you were right about this baby. My daughter had a baby like that and it gave her a nervous breakdown."
I have no siblings. Three guesses why.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:14 AM on March 15, 2016
I have no siblings. Three guesses why.
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:14 AM on March 15, 2016
My children are lovely HOWEVER complaining to others here and there makes me a more tolerant mother when I'm with my children.
YET if I try to vent some worry that a) I don't love my children b) I'm being a bad mother.
There's a small subgroup for whom this doesn't apply, but it's tiny.
posted by typecloud at 11:26 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
YET if I try to vent some worry that a) I don't love my children b) I'm being a bad mother.
There's a small subgroup for whom this doesn't apply, but it's tiny.
posted by typecloud at 11:26 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
YET if I try to vent some worry that a) I don't love my children b) I'm being a bad mother.
The most annoying audience for the vent is the one that tells you to count your blessings because it could always be worse.
And while it's one thing to know your audience (I never vent about my child's ceaseless chatter to the friend whose special needs child still doesn't speak, for example; I don't talk about my searing need for free time with my single-mom friends), it's another to be told you have nothing to complain about.
And yet ... the one time I tried to push back went terribly. I told one of those "at least you aren't dealing with [insert nightmare scenario literally nobody she knows has to deal with]" people something like "When you tell me that my irritation is not as bad as something I've never experience, I am receiving the message that you do not consider my feelings to be worth validating." And then the person to whom I said that promptly burst into tears because I made them feel like a bad person for pointing out how unhelpful their response had been to me.
Some people just can't handle hearing other people vent. Or they misapply the so-called "attitude of gratitude." Or they confuse a temporary vent with a chronic loss of perspective.
When you find your people to whom you can vent, treasure them and tell them you appreciate them. Between rants, that is.
posted by sobell at 12:26 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
The most annoying audience for the vent is the one that tells you to count your blessings because it could always be worse.
And while it's one thing to know your audience (I never vent about my child's ceaseless chatter to the friend whose special needs child still doesn't speak, for example; I don't talk about my searing need for free time with my single-mom friends), it's another to be told you have nothing to complain about.
And yet ... the one time I tried to push back went terribly. I told one of those "at least you aren't dealing with [insert nightmare scenario literally nobody she knows has to deal with]" people something like "When you tell me that my irritation is not as bad as something I've never experience, I am receiving the message that you do not consider my feelings to be worth validating." And then the person to whom I said that promptly burst into tears because I made them feel like a bad person for pointing out how unhelpful their response had been to me.
Some people just can't handle hearing other people vent. Or they misapply the so-called "attitude of gratitude." Or they confuse a temporary vent with a chronic loss of perspective.
When you find your people to whom you can vent, treasure them and tell them you appreciate them. Between rants, that is.
posted by sobell at 12:26 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by Guy Smiley at 1:50 PM on March 14, 2016 [2 favorites]