Wasps AND spiders. You've been warned.
March 15, 2016 11:11 AM   Subscribe

 
Dear Hollywood, here's a freebie: Ants/Bugs Life + modern Mega War Spectacular movie hybrid = Mega Battle of the Mini Creatures! You can go non-realistic like Bugs Life, or stick to more natural orders, like this story.
posted by filthy light thief at 11:15 AM on March 15, 2016


Is this better than a spider nest full of wasps?
posted by Greg_Ace at 11:17 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


oh my god. Jaw dropped. I was going to forward this to my spider-hating honey but it would be to cruel.
posted by Dressed to Kill at 11:18 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


IDK, my first thought was "how can I cajole one of these wasps into living in my house?"
posted by selfnoise at 11:19 AM on March 15, 2016


I was going to bet that the spiders were actually still alive, but the wasps paralyzed them and laid larvae in them to allow the larvae to live off of their immobile flesh until they were large enough to emerge, but, fortunately, this is just the aftermath and the spiders have already died from their torment. I love nature!
posted by ChuraChura at 11:20 AM on March 15, 2016 [13 favorites]


I will not click
the link
you posted
about the wasp nest filled with spiders

and which
you were probably
hoping
I'd click on

Forgive me
there is no fucking way
they have too many eyes
and too many stingers
posted by mosk at 11:20 AM on March 15, 2016 [140 favorites]


I wish he had included a coin for size comparison purposes. Actually, I bet he did, and Distractify's editorial policies required them not to post that picture, since the author could not come up with a way to work a number into the headline.

As someone with a bug zapper in his office, I wish I had a spider in every ceiling corner (n.b. I live in North America so don't have to really worry about bites except as a nuisance or a fun trip to the hospital).

On preview: mosk, was "13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" the ur-listicle?
posted by radicalawyer at 11:21 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


the war to truly end all wars is being fought between the insects and the arachnids. Much as I understand how squeeged out some folks get when spiders are around, we do need them to win.
posted by philip-random at 11:24 AM on March 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE
posted by heyitsgogi at 11:25 AM on March 15, 2016


Well at least there aren't any pictures of it.

God, that would be horrible...
posted by Naberius at 11:27 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Coincidentally, I am just about planning a wasp-spider project, so I have some links:

Mud Dauber wasp.

Spiders recovered from a Sceliphron nest
posted by dhruva at 11:29 AM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


WHY ARE YOU TAKING PICTURES? WHY ARE YOU NOT RUNNING FOR YOUR LIFE?

[…]

Source: Reddit via Viralnova


It's weird that these amped-up interjections are the only thing that "Distractify" added to the stolen content here. This kind of intense all-caps emotional hyperbole is the new "…what happened next will surprise you" clickbait house style, isn't it? Hoping to manipulate the empathic reflex for just long enough to make you think you yourself had that strong reaction, and hence click the Share button?
posted by RogerB at 11:29 AM on March 15, 2016 [12 favorites]


For a second there, I thought dude was going to go back into the wall, and ...
::shudders::

WHEW! CRISIS AVERTED!
posted by droplet at 11:29 AM on March 15, 2016


Guy ... resists burning house to the ground

This man has made a terrible mistake, and I demand that we send someone over there with a flamethrower.
posted by aramaic at 11:30 AM on March 15, 2016 [6 favorites]


> On preview: mosk, was "13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird" the ur-listicle?

LOL - yeah, I can see that.
posted by mosk at 11:30 AM on March 15, 2016


I don't see why everyone is freaking out so much. They are dead spiders, or at best paralysed. Wasps are in larvae form, i.e. not THAT terrifying.
posted by dhruva at 11:31 AM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


I don't see why everyone is freaking out so much

Infiltration Drone spotted, commence burning.
posted by aramaic at 11:32 AM on March 15, 2016 [17 favorites]


So let me get this straight: People are relieved the totally harmless spiders are dead, but not at all fazed about a very much alive colony of wasps? You guys got it twisted!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:36 AM on March 15, 2016 [20 favorites]


Mud daubers are very common where I live, particularly the pipe organ species that I linked to. I'm really kind of surprised that people are getting so freaked out over them. They pretty much keep to themselves but having to scrape the nests off my house can be a bother. They are kind of interesting though, and I like to watch them building their nests and filling them with prey for their offspring. On the other hand, they have been known to bring down airliners, so perhaps are less benign than I thought.
posted by TedW at 11:37 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


droplet: For a second there, I thought dude was going to go back into the wall, and ...

You mean like The Enigma of Amigara Fault? (Previously)
posted by filthy light thief at 11:38 AM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


People are relieved the totally harmless spiders are dead, but not at all fazed about a very much alive colony of wasps?

Yeah, definitely on Team Spider for this one. Ugh, wasps.
posted by puffyn at 11:39 AM on March 15, 2016 [6 favorites]


You can go non-realistic like Bugs Life

Hey, let's not knock Bugs Life. One of my favorite trivia questions is to ask, "Which animated family movie concludes with the villain being torn apart by wild animals and eaten alive?"
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 11:45 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Surprisingly not Australia.


Although, I think in Australia, the headline would be something like, "Spider Finds Wasp Nest Full Of Dead People In His Wall."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:47 AM on March 15, 2016 [13 favorites]


Wow, free lunch!
posted by beerperson at 11:47 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Recently a spider with about a 2" leg span fell from the ceiling and landed on my bare forearm as I was sitting here at the kitchen table typing on my computer.

The really disturbing thing about it was that it was exactly the same shade of beige as the ceiling which hasn't been painted in 20 years.
posted by jamjam at 11:48 AM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


they have been known to bring down airliners

To be fair, a spider can block the pitot tube just as effectively. Maybe this wasp averted several crashes.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:48 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


In the south you really want these kind of wasps around your house, their favorite prey are black widows and brown recluse, both of which have a high "murder you" quotient.
posted by stilgar at 11:50 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


In the south you really want these kind of wasps around your house, their favorite prey are black widows and brown recluse, both of which have a high "murder you" quotient.

According to Vance Randolph, there's an Appalachian folk tradition to the effect that a house without a wasp's nest in the eaves will not host a successful pregnancy.
posted by jamjam at 11:55 AM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


I've found one of those before! It was really fun to crack open, like a terrifying nightmare geode.
posted by landunderwave at 11:59 AM on March 15, 2016 [16 favorites]


Playing a game with myself: If you had to make a choice, wouldya rather 1) Look at this, or 2) Listen to a Trump speech?
posted by NorthernLite at 11:59 AM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


I did this too, actually - I laid my egg inside a wife, and the larva grew in her insides and forced its way out! It was totally gross and now she only has two legs - the larva must have eaten the other six. And most of her eyes, by the look of it. Anyway she's not the spider I married, that's for sure.
posted by the quidnunc kid at 12:01 PM on March 15, 2016 [33 favorites]


Mud daubers are beautiful little creatures with the classic "wasp waist". Since they are solitary rather than social wasps they are very peaceful. It might be possible to get one to sting you but you would have to work at it...
posted by jim in austin at 12:02 PM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


If you had to make a choice, wouldya rather 1) Look at this, or 2) Listen to a Trump speech?

I'm all for bombing the hell out of Iraq nid
posted by hal9k at 12:04 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Inside of a wasp nest, no one can hear you scream.
posted by Going To Maine at 12:05 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


You purposefully posted this during lunch, didn't you!
posted by Descent at 12:06 PM on March 15, 2016


looks like one helluva party
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:15 PM on March 15, 2016


I love mud daubers! I did make the mistake of bringing an organ pipe wasp cell into the house to show the wee ones and forgetting about it, until it hatched out and started flying around the playroom. Caught and released, thanks to my calm spouse.

According to this link "Organ-pipe Mud Daubers have been heard to make a "singing-like" noise while nest building."
posted by PandaMomentum at 12:31 PM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


On a positive note, he doesn't seem to have any spiders anymore.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:31 PM on March 15, 2016


That's it, man. Game over, man. Game over!
posted by googly at 12:38 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well, I know what exciting mystery object my D&D players are finding next!
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:57 PM on March 15, 2016 [8 favorites]


Organ-pipe Mud Daubers have been heard to make a "singing-like" noise while nest building. [PandaMomentum's link]

These creatures are also known for the architecture of their nests, which are tubular in style, and remind folks of organ pipes, hence another name. [linked by PandaMomentum's link]

Surely whoever named them must have realized that the '"singing-like" noise' the female wasp makes as she is building a section of a tube is probably a test for resonance, and that when she gets resonance, she knows that section of the tube is long enough, stops building, and goes off to collect some spiders.

In which case, you could probably keep them away from your house by having an external speaker playing just that singing note at very low levels during nest-building season.
posted by jamjam at 1:40 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


What would resonance signify?
posted by Going To Maine at 1:49 PM on March 15, 2016


Resonance at the frequency she was singing in the tube she was building would signify that it was a certain length -- just like an organ pipe.
posted by jamjam at 1:55 PM on March 15, 2016


Kinda wish my childhood hadn't been so filled with water hose/super soaker hit and RUN attacks on mud dauber (we callled them dirt daubers) nests.

Contrition, I have it.
posted by RolandOfEld at 2:10 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ah, sure.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:11 PM on March 15, 2016


> oh my god. Jaw dropped. I was going to forward this to my spider-hating honey but it would be to cruel.

So I'm not the only one who trolls their partner this way.
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:20 PM on March 15, 2016


I happily ignored a colony of mud daubers in my carport. They completely ignored me, despite parking right next to them, and they like to eat black and brown widows, which I heartily encourage. I feel a little bad for the orb weavers they also like to eat, but c'est le vie. Unless wildlife is actively going to hurt me or damage the house, I'm pretty happy to leave well enough alone.
posted by Candleman at 2:23 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is this better than a spider nest full of wasps?

Before or after Labor Day, Muffie?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 2:25 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


not enough nopes in all the universe
posted by billiebee at 2:25 PM on March 15, 2016


The really disturbing thing about it was that it was exactly the same shade of beige as the ceiling which hasn't been painted in 20 years.

No worries. Under the layer of spiders your ceiling is a lovely eggcapsuleshell white.
posted by sebastienbailard at 2:39 PM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


We like spiders. Wasps, too. It's important to understand the critters that share your living space. We ignore them mostly, escort them out of the house when we can, and kill them if we must. Those little miller moths, though? They get no mercy from us, as they will eat your clothes, your books, and anything else that entices the mothly palate. Those, and pantry moths. They are taken out with extreme haste. The rest are given due respect as members of the local ecosystem, and we all get along for the most part.

Oh yeah, ground wasps: those have to go. They're too mean for this place.
posted by metagnathous at 2:42 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is this better than a spider nest full of wasps?

Before or after Labor Day, Muffie?


Well, it's not like I'll be wearing either one on a hat, so....
posted by Greg_Ace at 3:08 PM on March 15, 2016


Haha! No.
posted by Glinn at 3:23 PM on March 15, 2016


The really disturbing thing about it was that it was exactly the same shade of beige as the ceiling which hasn't been painted in 20 years.

No worries. Under the layer of spiders your ceiling is a lovely eggcapsuleshell white.

So that accounts for the lovely seething effect I see from time to time! . . . I thought I was having flashbacks.
posted by jamjam at 3:39 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Could win, in these strange times.
posted by Wordshore at 3:41 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


Nature is endlessly fascinating. Typing out a string of "nopes" in all caps every time there's a post with spiders involved? Not so much.
posted by subliminable at 3:50 PM on March 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's shorter than "I have nothing to contribute." It is also tiresome and stopped being cute after the first 1000 times.
posted by Dark Messiah at 4:05 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Plus, they were thoughtfully provided in the tags.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:11 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


As noted above, the Australian mud wasp does this. I just want to say that their mud nests are actually quite tiny. You knock down the old nests and they are full of little spider corpses. But really the largest one you're ever going to find is about half the length of your thumb, unless you have some kind of weird mutated thumb.
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:14 PM on March 15, 2016


Think of our nopes like spiders. You know they exist and they have their place but they disgust you on a profound level and you try to go about your business in merry denial until someone goes NOPE in front of you and you think ugh no seriously fuck off I can't even and you feel compelled to say so. Then you just go back to quietly ignoring them again. It's the ciiiiircle of liiiiife.
posted by billiebee at 4:20 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


I love spiders. Spiders are our spindly pals!
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:23 PM on March 15, 2016 [9 favorites]


Threads like this make me beyond happy Metafilter doesn't allow you to embed images.
posted by dry white toast at 6:01 PM on March 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


I watched a similar wasp trying to stuff a huge paralized wolf spider into a hole in the ground near my house. The spider's legs were splayed all over the place and kept spreading out floppily, preventing the wasp from being able to fit the paralized spider into the narrow hole. Eventually the wasp just chewed off a couple of legs and that was that. Nature's nasty sometimes.
posted by girl Mark at 6:52 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I'm also going to have to chime in here in favour of spiders. I really like things that mostly keep to themselves and quietly control the insect population in the vicinity. This may have something to do with me living in Canada, where the spiders are relatively harmless and summer insects intolerable.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 6:58 PM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


Some wasps are really aggressive and will sneak through a teeny tiny crack in the door and claim territory inside a house around lighting fixtures on the ceiling, from which they will dive bomb someone who walks under them. How do I know this? Last fall was the Great Wasp Massacre* in my house, preceded by the Great Wasp Feast of Rotting Apples under the trees outside. I did NOT know this was a thing with apple trees and wasps, and next year will not let fallen apples sit on the ground for long. I tried steering them outside, but good lord they were total assholes, like drunken frat bros looking for a fight.

Did you know that many wasps can escape from fly paper after being caught in it? Well, I do now...

*Six wasps gave their lives for the failed cause of taking over the human dwelling.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:14 PM on March 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


*Six wasps gave their lives for the failed cause of taking over the human dwelling.

Not eponysterical, I hope?
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:01 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Why do spiders have eight legs? So they can hug you four times harder.
posted by mrbigmuscles at 8:28 PM on March 15, 2016 [14 favorites]


Not eponysterical... Although I did briefly consider buying some kind of beekeeper suit. But then the terrorists win, you know? By terrorists, I mean wasps.

I like spiders ok. Most are harmless here, but we do have brown recluses and black widows, which are still way better than aggressive wasps. There's a black widow in my house right now, who made her home in the kitchen above a viga on the ceiling, tucked into a corner. Normally I'd try to capture a black widow and take it outside, but she keeps to her spot and has never laid eggs, and all the while takes care of whatever bugs come her way.

And I'm ok with a lot of wasps in principle, and some are really cool, as long as they're not invading my house and seething with rage at my existence.
posted by krinklyfig at 8:53 PM on March 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Why do spiders have eight legs? So they can hug you four times harder

reminds me of this cartoon called 8 legs of love.

*very NSFW*
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:46 PM on March 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


I like spiders fine. I ignore them or bring them outside of the ignoring won't work. It's when their corpses are about to be reanimated by hatching wasps that I draw the line. I've never understood the "burning your house down" bit. But this time I thought.... Oh dear god. I'd burn the whole thing. And I'm not gonna sleep tonight. Uggghhhh.
posted by greermahoney at 10:21 PM on March 15, 2016


Today I learned that this species of wasp has also caused at least two fatal plane crashes.
posted by AceRock at 8:12 AM on March 16, 2016


Ugh this is so difficult for me because I'm the rare person who loves spiders and wasps and I evangelize for both of them. They are both more intelligent than people give them credit for and I find them oddly cute. So I'm not grossed out by this, just sad. At least the original post has a nest full of not very intelligent spiders but landunderwave's is full of jumping spiders, arguably some of the most intelligent and personable inverts. So what I'm saying is hey wasps can you at least only line your nest with dumb spiders that I don't like.
posted by melissam at 9:12 AM on March 16, 2016 [6 favorites]


You want to know about wasps--ask a fig tree. What a deal. These fig-wasps are either born pregnant or never get outside the fig. At least these guys don't go around bothering spiders.

Out here we have critters we call tarantula hawks. The are a wasp that walks around scenting the ground for spider trails. They can smell the spider's track through their feet. You can tell them from other wasps because, well, they are walking, not flying, and every now and then they'll give a little flutter with their wings as they trundle along looking for their prey. I don't know why they do that--the flutter, I mean. Maybe it's the equivalent of rubbing their hands together and going muuaaah. Anyhow, they love ground spiders, not orb weavers, and when they track one to his hole in the ground, they'll stand at the entrance and do dorky things to get the spider to come out to attack them. They can handle the larger spiders better out in the open, but they are not very patient. If the spider won't be baited out, they'll go in after it, and sting it. As you know they aren't interested in killing it, just paralyzing it. Then they lay the eggs, heh heh, and go off to do what ever the wasp equivalent of a happy dance is, while their eggs turn into larvae, and begin to feast on their spidery larder. If they catch a ground spider out in the open, they'll kill it. But then they have to drag it back to a suitable hole in the ground before they begin the egg laying part of the exercise. I have seen these guys dragging an unconscious spider many times their own weight, for maybe fifty feet, over rough ground.

Although I generally take a live and let live approach to bugs and other critters, I am with the flame-thrower crowd in this thread.
posted by mule98J at 10:58 AM on March 16, 2016 [2 favorites]


Also, "terrifying nightmare geode" is a fine band name.
posted by Xyanthilous P. Harrierstick at 6:39 PM on March 16, 2016 [1 favorite]


Love spiders, love wasps. Enjoy the hell out of watching the lives of tiny creatures unfold in my backyard. Spiders allowed in the house, wasps removed for their own sake.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 4:37 PM on March 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


jesus
posted by exlotuseater at 5:57 PM on March 17, 2016


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