"Your sweet, sweet daughter”
March 17, 2016 12:59 PM Subscribe
Laura Lee, a vibrant young woman whose life was a series of firsts, died in her sleep last month at 33. "The death has left not only her family mourning, but thousands of people across the country, some who knew Lee and others who simply admired her as a trailblazer. On Saturday, the family will hold a funeral service for Lee in Fairfax County, but already the tributes have begun."
She inspired those with Down syndrome as unstoppable — until she wasn’t. (SLWaPo)
Oh man I am crying at a Panera and people are staring
What a magnificent woman. Thank you for making this post. I'll be sharing it with my friends that work in special education -- her legacy will help a lot of little kids I know.
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:13 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
What a magnificent woman. Thank you for making this post. I'll be sharing it with my friends that work in special education -- her legacy will help a lot of little kids I know.
posted by Hermione Granger at 1:13 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
Thank God, thank God, thank God for those parents. They did all the research correctly and did the right thing.
We had a VP at our office whose son went to a local college that had a similar program. He graduated, then his mother forced him to work in our office for four years because hey, he's a college graduate! He is therefore just like everyone else! And yet he couldn't do the work at all, he alternated between sitting there doing nothing and getting yelled at by his supervisor for not understanding the work that was totally over his head.
The stories don't always turn out inspiring, which is why we need inspiring stories like this. Thank you.
posted by sockerpup at 1:52 PM on March 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
We had a VP at our office whose son went to a local college that had a similar program. He graduated, then his mother forced him to work in our office for four years because hey, he's a college graduate! He is therefore just like everyone else! And yet he couldn't do the work at all, he alternated between sitting there doing nothing and getting yelled at by his supervisor for not understanding the work that was totally over his head.
The stories don't always turn out inspiring, which is why we need inspiring stories like this. Thank you.
posted by sockerpup at 1:52 PM on March 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
Inspiring barely covers it. I wish I had been aware of her in life. A lesson in not letting yourself indulge in the petty complaints of the privileged.
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posted by spitbull at 2:16 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by spitbull at 2:16 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]
When the program, called Options because that’s what it gave them, was finally started on a trial basis in 1998, it was decided that a mentor program should be formed between students at the school and those in the new program. Gen Lee still cries when he remembers how the captain of the football team volunteered to be a mentor, setting the tone for the entire student body.
There are a lot of really, really good people in this story.
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posted by mrjohnmuller at 2:24 PM on March 17, 2016 [20 favorites]
There are a lot of really, really good people in this story.
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posted by mrjohnmuller at 2:24 PM on March 17, 2016 [20 favorites]
This is the part that did me in:
“It’s already very difficult to lose a student, even an alumni,” LIFE Program Director Heidi Graff said. “But it’s especially difficult to lose one of the leaders of the program.”
Graff said one student who lived in the dorm with Lee has come by her office frequently in recent days to talk about his friend. Another student with Down syndrome left messages daily for Graff before visiting her one afternoon to say “I’m just checking on you because I know you’re sad. But she’s in our hearts, and we’re going to be okay."
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:46 PM on March 17, 2016 [9 favorites]
“It’s already very difficult to lose a student, even an alumni,” LIFE Program Director Heidi Graff said. “But it’s especially difficult to lose one of the leaders of the program.”
Graff said one student who lived in the dorm with Lee has come by her office frequently in recent days to talk about his friend. Another student with Down syndrome left messages daily for Graff before visiting her one afternoon to say “I’m just checking on you because I know you’re sad. But she’s in our hearts, and we’re going to be okay."
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:46 PM on March 17, 2016 [9 favorites]
I have three open positions. I wish I could have hired her.
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posted by 4ster at 3:22 PM on March 17, 2016
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posted by 4ster at 3:22 PM on March 17, 2016
I worked with people with similar challenges decades ago, when we were still doing deinstitutionalization. Little bits of this story, like her love of dancing and her pride in doing her laundry, just take me back.
The weirdest thing is her death at such a young age. She had complicating issues, it seems, but these days life expectancy for people with Downs is somewhere in the sixties.
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posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:54 PM on March 17, 2016
The weirdest thing is her death at such a young age. She had complicating issues, it seems, but these days life expectancy for people with Downs is somewhere in the sixties.
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posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:54 PM on March 17, 2016
It does not seem that long ago that we lost a cherished member of our community.
posted by maggieb at 6:49 PM on March 17, 2016
posted by maggieb at 6:49 PM on March 17, 2016
To expand, Tom was a cohort of our farming community like Laura Lee was of hers... in case anyone is offput by his overalls (common local attire) or cigarette (major cash crop during most of his life.)
posted by maggieb at 7:51 PM on March 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by maggieb at 7:51 PM on March 17, 2016 [2 favorites]
.
♫
(It seemed appropriate to rejoice a bit for the life she lived as well.)
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:08 PM on March 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
♫
(It seemed appropriate to rejoice a bit for the life she lived as well.)
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 8:08 PM on March 17, 2016 [3 favorites]
That's so sad. We need more people like her, and not to lose one at a young age.
posted by zutalors! at 9:11 PM on March 17, 2016
posted by zutalors! at 9:11 PM on March 17, 2016
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posted by dorothyisunderwood at 10:38 PM on March 17, 2016
posted by dorothyisunderwood at 10:38 PM on March 17, 2016
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posted by istanbulclues at 2:44 AM on March 18, 2016
posted by istanbulclues at 2:44 AM on March 18, 2016
She indeed lived well.
To help fill in some blanks in the article--and this seems appropriate that Laura led a life as a self-advocate and a model to others: heart defects come hand-in-hand with Down syndrome. If you have Down syndrome, you've got a 40-50% chance of having a heart defect. For years, my go-to conversation starter with other parents who have a child with Down syndrome is "how is his/her heart?"
Laura was lucky to have been born when she was because infant AV canal surgery wasn't a reality until 1967, so she and her doctor's benefited from 15 years of collective experience and improvements in the process.
My daughter, who turns 13 this weekend, was born with an atrial septal defect (ASD), which is a hole in the wall between the atria. If you're going to have a heart defect, this is the kind to have, I guess. It is repairable with minimally invasive surgery (convenient that Mrs. Plinth used to design surgical tools used for minimally invasive cardiac surgery), although in our case it closed up on its own.
I'm glad they posted her hourly salary of $12.24/hour. It is important to note that in Virginia, she lived above the poverty line. Most adults with Down syndrome do not and may never do so well. Part of it is the type of jobs that are available to them and what they are capable of handling. I doubt that my daughter has a trajectory in her development that will take her anywhere near a job like Laura's, but I can tell you that no matter what kind of job she has, she will brighten the days of the people around her because she's like that.
posted by plinth at 4:34 AM on March 18, 2016 [14 favorites]
To help fill in some blanks in the article--and this seems appropriate that Laura led a life as a self-advocate and a model to others: heart defects come hand-in-hand with Down syndrome. If you have Down syndrome, you've got a 40-50% chance of having a heart defect. For years, my go-to conversation starter with other parents who have a child with Down syndrome is "how is his/her heart?"
Laura was lucky to have been born when she was because infant AV canal surgery wasn't a reality until 1967, so she and her doctor's benefited from 15 years of collective experience and improvements in the process.
My daughter, who turns 13 this weekend, was born with an atrial septal defect (ASD), which is a hole in the wall between the atria. If you're going to have a heart defect, this is the kind to have, I guess. It is repairable with minimally invasive surgery (convenient that Mrs. Plinth used to design surgical tools used for minimally invasive cardiac surgery), although in our case it closed up on its own.
I'm glad they posted her hourly salary of $12.24/hour. It is important to note that in Virginia, she lived above the poverty line. Most adults with Down syndrome do not and may never do so well. Part of it is the type of jobs that are available to them and what they are capable of handling. I doubt that my daughter has a trajectory in her development that will take her anywhere near a job like Laura's, but I can tell you that no matter what kind of job she has, she will brighten the days of the people around her because she's like that.
posted by plinth at 4:34 AM on March 18, 2016 [14 favorites]
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My condolences to her family and friends.
posted by blob at 1:04 PM on March 17, 2016 [1 favorite]