Rule 34 - If something exists, there is porn of it.
April 5, 2016 6:23 PM   Subscribe

 
So, so good. The design is brilliant, but so is the choice of photographs! They somehow manage, at their best, to make me want to look away as much as I want to stare. Holiday Stuffing indeed.
posted by asavage at 6:32 PM on April 5, 2016 [10 favorites]


This sure is going above and beyond the call of duty. This person has more than put in their lifetime's service to Rule 34, and can fondle themselves to drawings of any cartoon character they want without feeling guilty ever again.
posted by egypturnash at 6:35 PM on April 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


That it's a Tumblr is so very meta.
posted by Thorzdad at 6:35 PM on April 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


Damn that hot water heater installation is really nice.
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 6:37 PM on April 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


This was funny until they mocked my irregular carrot fetish
posted by Hoopo at 6:38 PM on April 5, 2016 [17 favorites]


As a former euphonium player, "Sticky Valves" made me LOL.
posted by jonathanhughes at 6:39 PM on April 5, 2016 [7 favorites]


once again i am reminded to go and visit liartownusa for some fresh content. his influence on the culture grows...
posted by ennui.bz at 6:39 PM on April 5, 2016 [29 favorites]


Clive: "Me valves have gone all sticky, like."

Owen: "'Ere, let me have a look..."

Soundtrack: "Bow-chika-bow-wow"
posted by valkane at 6:39 PM on April 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


Poe's law seems to be applicable in many of these cases.
posted by Hicksu at 6:40 PM on April 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Something tells me that there's at least a site, if not an actual magazine, called Mature Bush.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:48 PM on April 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


I've heard stories. There's -nothing- that could get me to examine "Friendly Ducks" in more detail.
posted by Archelaus at 6:50 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


I have that toaster! I...I never knew.
posted by Elly Vortex at 6:52 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


These are fantastic. Amazing covers, great photos. Love the colour correction in the images (that lunchtime meat though...) and the font choices. I've got a hardcore Montreal pothole out front of my place, fish crackers in the kitchen and that same sexy seltzer bottle in the basement. I'm feeling a little dirty.
posted by Cuke at 6:55 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


Olive loaf?!

Do you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth of yours?
posted by deezil at 6:57 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


Hardcore pornography.
posted by dazed_one at 7:10 PM on April 5, 2016


No link to any episode of Giada de Laurentiis' cooking shows. Good god they show that in the cafe at work, and it's like soft porn is on. With food.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 7:15 PM on April 5, 2016


Olive loaf?! Do you kiss your mother with that filthy mouth of yours?

Well, she's the one who used to feed us Olive Loaf.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 7:18 PM on April 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


it's all so… European-looing
posted by DoctorFedora at 7:19 PM on April 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


...when you're hoping so hard five minutes goes by so the "Eurpoean-looing" typo stays forever.
posted by carsonb at 7:21 PM on April 5, 2016 [21 favorites]


Paging cstross...
posted by daq at 7:21 PM on April 5, 2016


Yeah, came to say "Liartown?"
posted by klangklangston at 7:30 PM on April 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


These taters..... they're hardcore?
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:35 PM on April 5, 2016 [6 favorites]


it's all so… European-looing


GANZ IN FARBEN
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:39 PM on April 5, 2016 [24 favorites]


It's weird. As Gen-X'er American in the Northeast, it was completely normal to understand We'd Die First when the missiles launched. I had a contemptuous opinion of both American and Soviet aesthetics as applied to popular culture. It was seamy, overproduced and underwhelming.

I got into photography as a teenager, rejecting the Nikon/Canon/Minolta/Pentax Holy Wars for stranger machines. Older machines. From Germany and Japan, and I sought out the older hobbyist magazines from the '60s and '70s. The best ones were from Europe or Asia. This was some different shit from the American or Soviet publication design, let me tell you. You have not lived until you have seen a beautiful flower photograph, and there is a critique of the lens that took it in German, French, Spanish, Hungarian, Serbian and Japanese... and not English.

The cover of that magazine looked much like these covers. I was living in the future vicariously through old Euro photo-hobby magazines from the Middle-Cold-War. My future was not as ideal as the magazines promised, but I wished it was.

I still do.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:47 PM on April 5, 2016 [8 favorites]


The petting one is adorable.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:50 PM on April 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


I would totally read a magazine of dogs I'd want to pet. Dogs staring soulfully at the camera. Dogs wanting their tummies rubbed. Doggy snoots snooting at you for a scritch.

Yeahhhhhhh baby!
posted by Windigo at 7:53 PM on April 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


Is it deliberate that you can see the photographer in the kettle image, a reference to an ancient meme?

Where did they get all the magazines from, to shop the images onto?
posted by marienbad at 7:54 PM on April 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


marienbad: they were found in the woods, obviously.
posted by boo_radley at 7:57 PM on April 5, 2016 [29 favorites]


Spread Em

Hmm.

Spread Em II: Aioli Dreams.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:00 PM on April 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


I commend this Tumblr for the most suggestive baguette photo I've ever seen. My goodness.
posted by none of these will bring disaster at 8:36 PM on April 5, 2016 [4 favorites]


I have a women's poker group (shut up) and somehow we all started texting each other images of weird carrots we have personally found in our gardens or farmer's markets. Every six months or so, bam, dirty weird carrot comin' at ya.

I can't wait to send them this magazine pic.
posted by amanda at 8:36 PM on April 5, 2016 [19 favorites]


Spread Em II: Aioli Dreams.

Trust me, you probably don't want to eat that sandwich.
posted by Existential Dread at 8:37 PM on April 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


... a reference to an ancient meme?

This ancient meme, to be precise.
posted by Bruce H. at 8:49 PM on April 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm curious about the difference between Thimble Jamboree magazine and Mature Thimble Jamboree magazine.
posted by Lyme Drop at 9:00 PM on April 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


Jesus, I actually said "oh, yeah!" to the Drugstore Chocolate one. I never knew I was this sick.
posted by yhbc at 9:00 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


Welp, time to check Liarto--Jeeesus CHRIST.
posted by BiggerJ at 9:13 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


I would love to see a pic of an Osprey on the cover of 'Barely Eagle'.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:23 PM on April 5, 2016 [9 favorites]


Ain't no one getting hot and bothered over than sad, parbaked grocery store baguette.

And the thought of honey in ones' valves is just so unbelievably nasty. Whatever floats your boat, but what's wrong with a nicely lubricated valve with some nice quick action...
posted by ssg at 9:56 PM on April 5, 2016


Oh dear, I'm actually crying with snrot-laughter and I think I've pulled a rib muscle.
posted by monopas at 10:46 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


So while not immediately tied into this actual post, I have to say that Rule 34 has been wanting for me lately.

I certainly haven't seen any Hillary Clinton/Bernie Sanders porn.

Oh and you know how hard I've looked.

Are we really coming to the end? Like Moore's Law? Peak 34?
posted by deadaluspark at 10:48 PM on April 5, 2016


I'm curious about the difference between Thimble Jamboree magazine and Mature Thimble Jamboree magazine.

A silver jamboree is the 25th, and a golden jamboree is the 50th. So the silver thimble on the cover of Thimble Jamboree matures into the golden one on the cover of Mature Thimble Jamboree.
posted by gingerest at 10:58 PM on April 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think of winches as being for hoisting or hauling but that looks more like a spooled up air hose.

which is even hotter
posted by aubilenon at 11:39 PM on April 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's so hot inside you, front-loading toaster with your door hanging open.
posted by chavenet at 1:42 AM on April 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


Scariest thing I've seen this week. [warning, it's Liartown and thus NSFW]
posted by chavenet at 1:47 AM on April 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


Great site!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:52 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


I try not to judge, but I'll admit that I'm totally creeped out by Irregular Carrots and the pervy rabbits that go in for that sort of thing.
posted by thivaia at 5:36 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Like being in a bookshop near the bus station.
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:13 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is truer than the author realizes. Most adult publishers of this era had one or more "cover" publications with the same printing, typesetting, and paper quality. There was at least one "railfanning" magazine that was a cover for their more profitable printings, and authors remember that they paid well and really didn't edit much of what was submitted, they just needed something legitimate going out the door regularly.
posted by nickggully at 6:19 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Search for "Rail Classics" if you want to see the results.
posted by nickggully at 6:26 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Thanks for all the comments!

I am of course indebted to the genius that is Sean Tejaratchi's Liartown USA, I stand on the shoulders of giants. I wrote him a fan letter on Tumblr - he responded very positively and Liartown is the "biggest fan" of Rule 34 according to the Tumblr activity tracker so I guess we're all good.

My favourite Rule 34 cover so far is "Holiday Stuffing". Something about holding a chicken in place to be stuffed by jamming it into an open sink drain.
posted by metameat at 9:38 AM on April 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


Just pitching some Canadiana:

Maple syrup...

[image of spigot and bucket on maple tree]

"Tap That Thing"

"Sap Hounds"

"Sugar Bush something something"

Also, beavers.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:23 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


omg Sap Hounds
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:39 AM on April 6, 2016


Hot Poutine
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:39 AM on April 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


These are all wonderful suggestions!
posted by metameat at 10:40 AM on April 6, 2016


These are all wonderful suggestions!

I hereby waive all intellectual property rights to those. Fill your boots!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:41 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Wide Open Beavers", surely
posted by murphy slaw at 10:41 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Molten Curds of Montreal
Snowshoes Exposed
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:42 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fill your boots!

Check out our Scratch'n'Sniff Centrefold
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:42 AM on April 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


Bonus points if you can do something with voyageurs, the Family Compact, or the Chateau Clique.

Also, log drivers.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:44 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hot Portages.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:45 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Curd Masters.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:50 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Portage Blasters.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:52 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hardcore Hutterites

Check out the hot farming action
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:53 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Came for thimbles, was not disappointed.

I'll be in my bunk.
posted by numaner at 11:18 AM on April 6, 2016 [3 favorites]




Pepperoni pullout

Crust Stuffers
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:47 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Glue gun fun

Hot Drizzlers?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:48 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Found it in the woods, you say?
posted by Devonian at 11:52 AM on April 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


mandolin conspiracy: "Just pitching some Canadiana:"

Unwarranted Apologies

32 pages of polite befuddlement!
posted by boo_radley at 2:30 PM on April 6, 2016 [7 favorites]


Batter blaster. (Baby batter blaster?)
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:39 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Windigo: I would totally read a magazine of dogs I'd want to pet. Dogs staring soulfully at the camera. Dogs wanting their tummies rubbed. Doggy snoots snooting at you for a scritch.

Yeahhhhhhh baby!


*drums fingers on desk and thinks about it*

Ah.

"Scritch Mamas"

"Scritch Daddies"

"Scritch Blasters"

"Chin Treats"

You're welcome. And yes, I'm deranged. Why do you ask?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:12 PM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Tummy Time
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:22 PM on April 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


Spooner's cop porn *picture of popcorn*.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:49 PM on April 10, 2016


« Older After 100 years, the verdict is in   |   Welcome to the most eye-popping development in the... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments