Eight years of AGILE experience. Also, I'm a dog.
April 6, 2016 11:30 AM Subscribe
On LinkedIn, nobody CARES you're a dog.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:43 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:43 AM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
If that dog could code, I'd hire him!
posted by blue_beetle at 11:43 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by blue_beetle at 11:43 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I don't understand: I know people - including programmers - who are qualified and can't find work. But recruiters are spamming so many people they try to recruit a dog?
posted by jb at 11:46 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by jb at 11:46 AM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
They're not looking for programmers, they're looking for cheap programmers who will work under bad conditions for crazy bosses. There aren't that many of them, except for recent graduates. Hence the spam.
posted by Mogur at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2016 [16 favorites]
posted by Mogur at 11:49 AM on April 6, 2016 [16 favorites]
Yep, a dog: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rupert-murdog-7a872b42
posted by tippiedog at 12:03 PM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by tippiedog at 12:03 PM on April 6, 2016 [2 favorites]
I don't understand: I know people - including programmers - who are qualified and can't find work. But recruiters are spamming so many people they try to recruit a dog?
I get a least 5 recruiters "cold calling" me a week. Based on how they make it clear they aren't reading my resume (PHP doesn't even appear on it, come on guys.), it's no surprise they would try to recruit a dog.
posted by sideshow at 12:03 PM on April 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
I get a least 5 recruiters "cold calling" me a week. Based on how they make it clear they aren't reading my resume (PHP doesn't even appear on it, come on guys.), it's no surprise they would try to recruit a dog.
posted by sideshow at 12:03 PM on April 6, 2016 [6 favorites]
Eight years of AGILE experience.
My dog had eight weeks of agility training. And he's very object-oriented (depending upon what the actual object is). I do find that when he returns to the scrum for a stand-up meeting to report on his most recent sprint, it's nearly always, "There was a rabbit, man." A further down-tick: he can't read.
That'll do. P'raps I'll have him apply, anyway.
posted by Herodios at 12:08 PM on April 6, 2016 [17 favorites]
My dog had eight weeks of agility training. And he's very object-oriented (depending upon what the actual object is). I do find that when he returns to the scrum for a stand-up meeting to report on his most recent sprint, it's nearly always, "There was a rabbit, man." A further down-tick: he can't read.
That'll do. P'raps I'll have him apply, anyway.
posted by Herodios at 12:08 PM on April 6, 2016 [17 favorites]
I think this is all driven by Trump. I mean, how can you fire someone like a dog if you never hire dogs?
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:13 PM on April 6, 2016
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:13 PM on April 6, 2016
how can you fire someone like a dog if you never hire dogs?
Well, you know the old saying:
"If you code with dogs, you debug with fleas."
I gotta-milyun-uvum! Hot-cha!
posted by Herodios at 12:18 PM on April 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
Well, you know the old saying:
"If you code with dogs, you debug with fleas."
I gotta-milyun-uvum! Hot-cha!
posted by Herodios at 12:18 PM on April 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
10 points to "dunnhumby bzzagent" in the second post for the fakest sounding name of a place that actually exists.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 12:35 PM on April 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 12:35 PM on April 6, 2016 [8 favorites]
>10 points to "dunnhumby bzzagent"
Ha! i foolishly wondered why he left in all the other names and addresses, and blanked that one out!
posted by PandaMomentum at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Ha! i foolishly wondered why he left in all the other names and addresses, and blanked that one out!
posted by PandaMomentum at 12:43 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Ach, now even dogs are getting better leads than me? It's probably all just a referral bonus generation scheme anyway... Sigh.
posted by saulgoodman at 1:04 PM on April 6, 2016
posted by saulgoodman at 1:04 PM on April 6, 2016
10 points to "dunnhumby bzzagent" in the second post for the fakest sounding name of a place that actually exists.
I looked at their website and now I feel like I need a shower.
posted by telepanda at 1:46 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I looked at their website and now I feel like I need a shower.
posted by telepanda at 1:46 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Be right back, adding "please let me know if you'd like to continue this conversation with a dog" to my email signature.
posted by redsparkler at 3:45 PM on April 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by redsparkler at 3:45 PM on April 6, 2016 [3 favorites]
The dog knows about Money Laundering. Some Boston-area politician will hire him just so he can say, "I'm afraid I can't get that information for you. The dog ate my Panama Papers."
posted by clawsoon at 4:03 PM on April 6, 2016
posted by clawsoon at 4:03 PM on April 6, 2016
From the BzzAgent page:
Loyal consumers are your most valuable asset, but many want to do more than be asked to “like” a page or tweet an offer. They want to share their expertise about the brands they love.
Gah. I need a shower now.
posted by eclectist at 4:10 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
Loyal consumers are your most valuable asset, but many want to do more than be asked to “like” a page or tweet an offer. They want to share their expertise about the brands they love.
Gah. I need a shower now.
posted by eclectist at 4:10 PM on April 6, 2016 [1 favorite]
I like the "I'm not a Bot or an Agency!!" guy, who clearly, it seems to me, is a bot, since he couldn't have actually read the LinkedIn page.
I wonder what the bot keys off of? Python experience, a few, but not too many, years of experience (young and exploitable, as Mogur says), lots of skills mentioned by others?
The bot ignores the skills it doesn't recognize, like pancakes, herding, and koalas.
I'm not a bot, but I'd hire someone with those skills.
posted by eye of newt at 11:33 PM on April 6, 2016
I wonder what the bot keys off of? Python experience, a few, but not too many, years of experience (young and exploitable, as Mogur says), lots of skills mentioned by others?
The bot ignores the skills it doesn't recognize, like pancakes, herding, and koalas.
I'm not a bot, but I'd hire someone with those skills.
posted by eye of newt at 11:33 PM on April 6, 2016
Ok in all seriousness, I'm applying for jobs without using a recruiter because this has been my experience too. I am having no luck. How does anyone get a job anymore?
posted by stormpooper at 1:55 PM on April 7, 2016
posted by stormpooper at 1:55 PM on April 7, 2016
Some recruiters aren't all bad. They can make the process much easier. But just like finding a good realtor, it can be hard. I'd ask around friend circles to find a friend you trust who has good things to say about a recruiter and see if you can borrow their recruiter.
posted by phlyingpenguin at 6:17 AM on April 8, 2016
posted by phlyingpenguin at 6:17 AM on April 8, 2016
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posted by blue_beetle at 11:37 AM on April 6, 2016