"What will you become?"
April 7, 2016 4:57 AM   Subscribe

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story The first trailer for the next Star Wars universe story is online.
posted by crossoverman (478 comments total) 28 users marked this as a favorite
 
passes the bechdel test in the teaser trailer
posted by incomple at 5:03 AM on April 7, 2016 [119 favorites]


Sold.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:05 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


Mendo lookin mean.
posted by dumbland at 5:07 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


And here I thought I could not be any more on board for this movie.
posted by Rock Steady at 5:09 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I wonder if Disney had the guts to give this the Rififi-style ending that was hinted at in the past. From the mood of the trailer, it certainly seems possible.
posted by incomple at 5:11 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


AHHHHHH!*

*translation: AHHHHHH!
posted by littlesq at 5:11 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


You had me at the siren alarm.
posted by valkane at 5:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [26 favorites]


Eight months of teasers, hype, and waiting? And I thought a presidential campaign was bad....
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 5:13 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


They totally chose the perfect actor to play Poe's father, because I totally thought that was Oscar Isaac for a second.
posted by littlesq at 5:15 AM on April 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


I did not think I would see this in theaters, because although I love Star Wars, I do not love franchise oversaturation.

But now I don't know. Dangit.
posted by timdiggerm at 5:17 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Mon Mothma!
AT-ATs!
Those ridiculous helmets!

eeeeeeeeeeeeee
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:18 AM on April 7, 2016 [34 favorites]


I don't want to jinx it, but good lord is post-Lucas Lucasfilm hitting them out of the park, yeah?
posted by tocts at 5:19 AM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]


You had me at the siren alarm.

I have no idea why, but me too. I was suddenly overcome by the Magic of Friendship.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:19 AM on April 7, 2016 [28 favorites]


It'll be great to finally have a prequel to Star Wars!
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:19 AM on April 7, 2016 [209 favorites]


Who at Hasbro do I need to phone to let them know that I wanting to buy all manner of junk with the badass lady rebel on it? Looks amazing. The empire / rebel theming is so powerful. I can't wait.
posted by samworm at 5:21 AM on April 7, 2016 [16 favorites]


Eight months of teasers, hype, and waiting? And I thought a presidential campaign was bad

Yeah but in this case there is a chance the final result is good
posted by saturday_morning at 5:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [33 favorites]


A wild grand admiral appears! And also she looks so awesome in the black imperial officer uniform!
posted by xdvesper at 5:23 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Who at Hasbro do I need to phone to let them know that I wanting to buy all manner of junk with the badass lady rebel on it?

Let's not get crazy here, they wouldn't want to spoil the fact that she's an important character. You can look forward to an action figure box set of random background extras, though.
posted by tocts at 5:27 AM on April 7, 2016 [44 favorites]


Looks great! But...Another Death Star? You'd think they'd have learned by now that those things always blow-up.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:29 AM on April 7, 2016 [11 favorites]


This movie hadn't really been on my radar, but that looked excellent.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:30 AM on April 7, 2016


Another Death Star?

It's a prequel. Set before A New Hope.
posted by crossoverman at 5:30 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Still, pretty incredible that 4/5 non-prequel Star Wars films are about blowing up a Death Star.
posted by little onion at 5:30 AM on April 7, 2016 [17 favorites]


Okay, someone tell me - Mon Mothma... CGI recreation of the original actress? There was some talk of doing that with Cushing/Taking on this film, so...
posted by crossoverman at 5:31 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


They're not blowing up the Death Star! This film is about many Bothans dying to get us information!
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:33 AM on April 7, 2016 [80 favorites]


Ghost Dog!
posted by Catblack at 5:33 AM on April 7, 2016 [29 favorites]


Le Samourai et Star Wars
posted by valkane at 5:34 AM on April 7, 2016 [13 favorites]


They're not blowing up the Death Star! This film is about many Bothans dying to get us information!

That's actually yet to be known. I always mess it up too, but was reminded a bit back that Mon Mothma's statement about dying Bothans is made in ROTJ in reference to the 2nd Death Star, not the 1st. We never get any information (in the movies) about how Leia got the Death Star plans prior to the start of Ep IV.
posted by tocts at 5:34 AM on April 7, 2016 [27 favorites]


OK.
I pissed myself at the Mark H bit.
I squee'd at Yavin base.
I'm not sure about Mary Sue Ezra, but at least she's not a Jedi.

And, does Wayne Pygram have a role?

The music: AMAZING?

IS THAT VADER?
posted by Mezentian at 5:34 AM on April 7, 2016


This film is about many Bothans dying to get us information!

THAT'S JEDI!
posted by Mezentian at 5:35 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


*hangs head in shame*
posted by Elementary Penguin at 5:36 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


Donnie Yen fighting stormtroopers? Sign me up
posted by thecjm at 5:36 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Mon Mothma!

Oh yeah, who was that?
She is perfect?
And who is General Madine?
posted by Mezentian at 5:36 AM on April 7, 2016


I was going to ask the same question about Mon Mothma, looked very good from the brief glimpse if it is CG. I haven't seen Ant Man but I've heard they've gotten better at it since I saw it done in one of the X-Men sequels. Caroline Blakiston isn't listed in the cast on imdb, but I'm not sure if that's accurate.

And Forest Whitaker! How did I miss that he was going to be in this. That seals the deal for me.
posted by beowulf573 at 5:37 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


It's OK, I'm sure some Bothans will die in this one too (since they actually appeared in Ep VII, even in a dying scene).
posted by tocts at 5:37 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Impressive. Most impressive.
posted by entropicamericana at 5:38 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


Who knew that all Star Wars had to do was move out of dad's house, get a job, and life would be so much better?
posted by valkane at 5:38 AM on April 7, 2016 [97 favorites]


Is that Canary Wharf tube station? (1:11)
posted by popcassady at 5:40 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Mon Mothma — portrayed by Caroline Blakiston (RotJ) and Genevieve O'Reilly (RotS), voiced by Kath Soucie (The Clone Wars), Heather Doerksen (The Yoda Chronicles)

Umm.... is it Bryce Dallas Howard now?
Because, damn, that is.... not on WIkipedia, or IMDB.
posted by Mezentian at 5:40 AM on April 7, 2016


I am totally okay with this.

Meanwhile, the sexist mewling fanbabies are already pissing and moaning about another female hero lead in a Star Wars movie. Fuck those people. TFA was awesome. Rogue One looks awesome.
posted by SansPoint at 5:41 AM on April 7, 2016 [34 favorites]


Dear Lucasfilm,

Don't shut up. Do take my money.
posted by Foosnark at 5:41 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Really, this needs Vader riding on the top of a TIE to be perfect,
especially if people will die braver than most.
posted by Mezentian at 5:41 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Meanwhile, the sexist mewling fanbabies are already pissing and moaning about another female hero lead in a Star Wars movie.

Citation needed, ce vous plait.
posted by Mezentian at 5:42 AM on April 7, 2016


I'd watch just the siren alarm.
posted by lownote at 5:44 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


Meanwhile, in the galaxy....
posted by Mezentian at 5:44 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Mezentian you can find the angry whining of sexist men in the usual places: the *chans, Reddit, and on Twitter.
posted by SansPoint at 5:46 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]




Me, ten minutes ago: "Oh crap, more Star Wars hype".

Me, after viewing: "Can I reserve seats yet?"
posted by octothorpe at 5:48 AM on April 7, 2016 [29 favorites]


I was already intrigued, but I think now I'm more excited for this than I ever was for The Force Awakens.

(Also, are we sure they didn't give Fountain of Youth water to Caroline Blakiston? Because otherwise they either found her clone or jumped the state of the art for CGI ten years forward.)
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:51 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


So is her in the imperial ass-kicking uniform a head fake, do you think?
posted by leotrotsky at 5:55 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Came here to make the Bothans comment. Saw someone else make it. Saw that person get shamed. Almost snuck out with my tail between my legs. Decided to own it. Never change, NerdFi!
posted by The Bellman at 5:56 AM on April 7, 2016 [20 favorites]


Mezentian you can find the angry whining of sexist men in the usual places: the *chans, Reddit, and on Twitter.

But those are silly places, I don't go there.
posted by Mezentian at 5:57 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Is that Canary Wharf tube station? (1:11)

Looks like it.
posted by fight or flight at 5:57 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I guess I'm running against the grain here, but this trailer has me worried. It felt full of cliches to me. Inception-style BWAAHs, hokey tough-guy/girl lines leading into battle montages, action scenes that have a Transformers feel... it felt like a generic blockbuster with admittedly cool Star Wars trappings. I really hope this characterizes just the trailer and not the movie.

I was a little excited that Disney was going to be opening up the Star Wars universe to a whole bunch of different directorial styles and genres. Now I'm not so sure. This feels like a Matt Damon movie, not Star Wars.

It'll be great to finally have a prequel to Star Wars!

Of note: Star Wars Minute this week finally stars Jacob Sirof, prequel fanboy, gushing over The Phantom Menace. He won't make me like that movie, but he's putting in some valiant arguments and he's definitely making me like it more.
posted by painquale at 5:58 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


(Also, are we sure they didn't give Fountain of Youth water to Caroline Blakiston? Because otherwise they either found her clone or jumped the state of the art for CGI ten years forward.)

It's funny you should mention that -- it's gone further than you might think.
posted by The Bellman at 6:00 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


It's definitely Canary Wharf tube. London Twitter is going mental for it.
posted by colie at 6:00 AM on April 7, 2016


There are various reasons to distreust this trailer:
Ghost Dog
Not-Jedia Samurai
Mon Montha?
"Is That Clear?" Dude.... was he from Bridget Jones?
Girl as Saviour trope....

But fuck it, I am EXCITE.
And we haven't seen Wash yet.
But we did see Power Droid.
posted by Mezentian at 6:01 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Online consensus seems to suggest that Genevieve O'Reilly is playing Mon Mothma. She filmed a scene as young Mon Mothma for Revenge of the Sith, but that scene was cut. It's on the DVD? I don't remember. Anyway, she's back. A direct link to the prequels...
posted by crossoverman at 6:01 AM on April 7, 2016


the best part is after the trailer there's the interview trailer thing with mark hamill looking like he's going to eat the camera
posted by beerperson at 6:01 AM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]




Wait. The Imperial guy in white. Is that Lord Merton from Downton Abbey? He seems to have gotten that anemia squared away.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:01 AM on April 7, 2016


From the opening scrawl of Star Wars (1977)

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

HTH
posted by entropicamericana at 6:02 AM on April 7, 2016 [45 favorites]


The best thing about having little kids that love Star Wars is that I am REQUIRED to see all new Star Wars movies twice in the theatre, because I have to vet them before I take my kids.

Actually, the real best thing is that my 5-yr old daughter draws picture after picture of Kylo Ren with a butt for his whole body and calls him "Ben the Butt" exclusively.
posted by joelhunt at 6:02 AM on April 7, 2016 [79 favorites]


Leotrotsky, that is Ben Mendelsohn.
posted by aldurtregi at 6:04 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is it just me or does Mark Hamill look like the Too Many Cooks guy at the end?
posted by adept256 at 6:05 AM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]


i mean, it takes a lot to make a stew
posted by beerperson at 6:07 AM on April 7, 2016 [17 favorites]


Once I saw FOREST WHITAKER appear I knew I'd be lining up to see this one.

This looks better than the Force Awakens, so I'm stoked.
posted by dis_integration at 6:07 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


1:18 Vader takes a shower?
posted by popcassady at 6:08 AM on April 7, 2016


Ah. The dead guy from Bloodline. Cool. He makes a good bad guy.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:08 AM on April 7, 2016


Ok wait, it's really a prequel? How will the numbering system work, or will they just give up in disgust? When they renumbered the original to IV, my childhood died a little, especially because they renamed it, too. So the new ones, do they have numbers?
posted by bitslayer at 6:10 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is it just me or does Mark Hamill look like the Too Many Cooks guy at the end?

I was hoping he'd go full Lecter in that.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:10 AM on April 7, 2016


So the new ones, do they have numbers?

The Episodes will continue as per regulation. The "in between" films will be branded "A Star Wars Story" and will have no chapters. Until Rogue One, Episode II: The Mon Mothma-ing in 2021.
posted by crossoverman at 6:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


So the new ones, do they have numbers?

AFAIK there's the Saga (I - IX) which are officially numbered and these add-on movies (Rogue One & Clone Wars) are extras. The Iron Man 3 to the saga's Avengers, if you will.
posted by fight or flight at 6:12 AM on April 7, 2016


"Ok wait, it's really a prequel? How will the numbering system work, or will they just give up in disgust? When they renumbered the original to IV, my childhood died a little, especially because they renamed it, too. So the new ones, do they have numbers?"

My understanding is that the non-core movies that come out alternate years are unnumbered "Star Wars Stories".
posted by joelhunt at 6:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hm, so, all those new characters they introduced in the last film just go away, and we get a whole new set of characters? No grand narrative sweep, no heroic struggle, no growth? In other words, it's not a trilogy, it's just a set of movies? That feels like a missed opportunity.
posted by PercussivePaul at 6:12 AM on April 7, 2016


So... Is there a canon reason why that is not Rey's mom?
posted by sparklemotion at 6:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ok wait, it's really a prequel? How will the numbering system work, or will they just give up in disgust? When they renumbered the original to IV, my childhood died a little, especially because they renamed it, too. So the new ones, do they have numbers?

I think numbers only apply to the main story line. This is a side-quel between 3 and 4.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:13 AM on April 7, 2016


How will the numbering system work

Episode 3.7: Engineering. Battle Stations. Technical drawings, stealing of.
posted by bondcliff at 6:13 AM on April 7, 2016 [34 favorites]


Once I saw FOREST WHITAKER appear I

Recalled Battlefield Earth?
posted by Mezentian at 6:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Leotrotsky, that is Ben Mendelsohn.

Henderson Kids GOT DARK.
posted by Mezentian at 6:15 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


I am getting a Morgan from Walking Dead-vibe from Forest Whitaker and I love it.
posted by nicebookrack at 6:15 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Came here to make the Bothans comment. Saw someone else make it. Saw that person get shamed. Almost snuck out with my tail between my legs. Decided to own it. Never change, NerdFi!

Oh I'm not that shamed. It was an awesome joke and I'm glad I made it anyway.

eeeeeeeeee Star Wars eeeeeeeeee
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:15 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Sorry for the aside, but many years ago there was a movie script floating around call Gemini Man with Harrison Ford attached. The conceit is that an assassin about to be forced to retire, but to ensure his doesn't spill any secrets or go rogue, his employers create a younger clone of him to kill the older version. The same actor would play both parts. This must have been 10 plus years ago, the technology wasn't ready then, but they might be able to pull it off now.

But it wouldn't be as cool without Harrison Ford.
posted by beowulf573 at 6:16 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hm, so, all those new characters they introduced in the last film just go away, and we get a whole new set of characters?
No, they all return in Episode VIII. This is a totally separate thing.
posted by dfan at 6:16 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.


So there's going to be a battle, is what you're saying.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:16 AM on April 7, 2016


some sort of.... war

in the stars
posted by beerperson at 6:17 AM on April 7, 2016 [38 favorites]


But we did see Power Droid.

GONK

eeeeeeeeee Star Wars eeeeeeeeee

And to expand on that, squeeeeeeeeEEEEeeEEEEeEeeEe
posted by Fleebnork at 6:17 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


another female hero lead in a Star Wars movie

Yeah, this griping (elsewhere, and easily found on any movie site comments section) is pretty dumb. "So we're never going to get another male lead in a Star Wars movie?" is an idiotic complaint, since this will only be the second one with a female lead, and we've had six with male leads.

Love the different feel but with familiar elements. Good first teaser.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 6:17 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


How about let's ignore the potential gripes about a leading woman and continue with our squeeeeeeeeee
posted by Fleebnork at 6:19 AM on April 7, 2016 [21 favorites]


Yeah, this griping (elsewhere, and easily found on any movie site comments section) is pretty dumb. "So we're never going to get another male lead in a Star Wars movie?" is an idiotic complaint, since this will only be the second one with a female lead, and we've had six with male leads.

By my count, there's only four Star Wars movies. But your point stands.
posted by entropicamericana at 6:21 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


I'm upset that this trailer had so many women and non-white actors and too few actors that truly represent me, a man-shaped pile of garbage.
posted by saladin at 6:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [160 favorites]


How about let's ignore the potential gripes about a leading woman and continue with our squeeeeeeeeee

Seconded emphatically
posted by Rock Steady at 6:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


I was surprised by my emotional attachment to AT-ATs.

SQUEEEE
posted by Capt. Renault at 6:24 AM on April 7, 2016 [19 favorites]


For those that are confused about Lucasfilm's franchise plans...

2015 - Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens
2016 - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story
2017 - Star Wars: Episode VIII (aka The Continuing Adventures of Rey, Finn & Poe)
2018 - Young Han Solo: A Star Wars Story
2019 - Star Wars: Episode IX (aka The Ever-More Continuing Adventures of Rey, Finn & Poe)
2020 - Boba Fett: A Star Wars Story

That's all that's been announced so far.

I actually prefer this to Marvel's You Must See Three Films A Year (plus perhaps four TV shows) to Keep Up.
posted by crossoverman at 6:25 AM on April 7, 2016 [35 favorites]


2018 - Young Han Solo: A Star Wars Story

I feel like this one is going to be a disaster. Also cue 70s softcore porn saxophone.
posted by dis_integration at 6:26 AM on April 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


'Rogue One' isn't a prequel, it's a sequel. This time Sarah Palin ruins Trump's election chances by having a meltdown and resurrecting Reagan's Strategic Defense Initiative.
posted by adept256 at 6:26 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(enough-already-with-the-pensive-piano-renderings-of-the-themes-ok-it's-lazy-arranging-guys-but-that's-my-only-gripe)eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
posted by threecheesetrees at 6:27 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


After Episode VII and this trailer I am Totally Sold on the whole one-Star-Wars-film-a-year concept.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 6:27 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


2020 - Boba Fett: A Star Wars Story

I do not think this is confirmed.

Now, forgive:
Star Wars: Episode VIII (aka Splinter In The Adventures of Rey, Finn & Poe)

Namaste.
posted by Mezentian at 6:27 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I just hope that, before I die, I finally get to see the origin film of The Guy In Empire Strikes Back Who Loves His Ice Cream Maker that we all so richly deserve.
posted by entropicamericana at 6:28 AM on April 7, 2016 [27 favorites]


Is this the long-awaited Jek Porkins origins story?
posted by NoMich at 6:28 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


So, I know Lucas sold Lucasfilm to Disney, but did they get ILM too? And isn't ILM at the Skywalker Ranch? Did Disney get the ranch? Doesn't Lucas live there?

How does that work? I mean, I can just see Lucas drifiting around the production facility in his robe and Where The Wild Things Are house-slippers:

Lucas: Hey, what are you guys working on?

Ben Burtt: Nothing George, nothing, hey we're kinda busy here...

Lucas: Hey! Is this the new BB-8?

Burtt: CAREFUL George! That's really expensive...

Lucas: (dejected) Sorry. (brightening up) Hey, I'm thinking about going to Subway, you guys want anything?

Burtt: No, we're good, George.

Lucas: Okay. (shuffles off)
posted by valkane at 6:29 AM on April 7, 2016 [83 favorites]


Potential gripes? You think we're making it up that there are a lot of complaints already on the internet from guys upset that they dared put a woman in the hero's role of another Star Wars movie? They're already referencing it as "Rouge One", which would almost be clever if half the mentions of it weren't simply from other people not knowing how to spell.

And honestly, I think there's room here to talk about the griping and the joy.
posted by GhostintheMachine at 6:30 AM on April 7, 2016 [11 favorites]


I feel like this one is going to be a disaster. Also cue 70s softcore porn saxophone.

Right, the cool kids ignored Han Solo and bought The Lando Calrissian Adventures for their extended universe scoundrel needs. Much cooler than people who went with the boring Han Solo choice.

Right?
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:30 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


From the opening scrawl of Star Wars (1977)

A thread-winner are you!
posted by eriko at 6:31 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


another female hero lead in a Star Wars movie

I will cheerfully throw in a small gripe on that front, wishing that it was a non-white female in the lead. Visually, she looks a bit similar to Rey, which seems odd, but not a big deal. Otherwise, carry on with bad ass females!

Overall, this teaser has me interested. But the shtick at the beginning feels trite (ooooh, I'm bad ass, I'm a rebel) and one or two scenes look ridiculous (running towards an AT AT). Those are minor things though, there's a lot of gorgeous images, such at the Grand admiral wearing tan, the shadow on the Death Star.

I'm there opening weekend.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:31 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Ok wait, it's really a prequel? How will the numbering system work, or will they just give up in disgust?

There's a reason they're calling it "A Star Wars story." It's not part of the six part main saga (with a three part shit-filled appendix attached at the wrong end.)
posted by eriko at 6:32 AM on April 7, 2016


And to expand on that, squeeeeeeeeEEEEeeEEEEeEeeEe

Could I get a little less of me in the monitors?
posted by eriko at 6:34 AM on April 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


Ah, Ben Mendelsohn is the guy in the white robes. Hell of an actor.

I predict many toys will be sold.
posted by Catblack at 6:34 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*watches trailer again*

-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:38 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


I hope to see a young Ensign Ackbar awkwardly slurring "this is a ruse of some sort!".
posted by dr_dank at 6:40 AM on April 7, 2016 [54 favorites]


Until Rogue One, Episode II: The Mon Mothma-ing in 2021

Rogue Two, surely. Followed by Han Duo in 2023.
posted by rodlymight at 6:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [20 favorites]


I predict many toys will be sold.

Produce too. I ate a Star Wars branded orange. It was a pretty decent orange.
posted by beau jackson at 6:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


This looks proper big.
posted by Artw at 6:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


enough-already-with-the-pensive-piano-renderings-of-the-themes-ok-it's-lazy-arranging-guys-but-that's-my-only-gripe)

I think it's actually international law that leitmotifs appear in all Star Wars related films.

But seriously - the use of leitmotifs is as much a part of Star Wars as the crazy wipes, the dumb names, and the constantly moving camera. John Williams actually resurrected the technique for the first movie.

BTW, that's *not* the Star Wars/Luke's Theme leitmotif. That's the "Force Theme," which really became the main theme for the entire series (the Star Wars main title theme is limited to the original triology and to Luke, so we may see...err...hear it again if Luke become prominent in the story.)
posted by eriko at 6:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


Potential gripes? You think we're making it up that there are a lot of complaints already on the internet

No, I don't think anyone is making it up, I just don't care to hear what the mouth breathers are saying about it. We know they're shitty.

I guess you can talk about shitty people being shitty if you want to. I'm not trying to silence discussion as much as saying that I don't care what shitty people are saying.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


This took me completely by surprise. I had no idea about the Star Wars Stories movies, and I'm now waaaay excited about this plan.
posted by odinsdream at 6:48 AM on April 7, 2016


So, I know Lucas sold Lucasfilm to Disney, but did they get ILM too?

Yes.

And isn't ILM at the Skywalker Ranch?

Not anymore -- since 2005, they're at the Presidio in San Fransisco (along with Lucasfilm and LucasArts.)

Skywalker sound is still at the ranch, and pays rent to Lucas.

Did Disney get the ranch? Doesn't Lucas live there?

No. Neither Lucasfilm nor ILM owned Skywalker Ranch, it's George Lucas's private property. He also doesn't live there, but he does have offices there. It's basically now a movie studio location.
posted by eriko at 6:50 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


"Rouge One"

As someone who writes a lot about Rogue Trooper I can confidently say you're going to see this one a lot, just by accident.
posted by Artw at 6:53 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm also amazed and pleased to be excited about ANOTHER Star Wars film. Who would have thought?
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:53 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


But where is Mads Mikkelson?
posted by Mavri at 6:55 AM on April 7, 2016 [14 favorites]


I'm also amazed and pleased to be excited about ANOTHER Star Wars film. Who would have thought?

I think what we're seeing is the generation who grew up with Star Wars and understand why people love it are now working in Hollywood.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:55 AM on April 7, 2016 [13 favorites]


But where is Mads Mikkelson?

oh god
posted by middleclasstool at 6:57 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


This looks better than the force awakens.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 6:57 AM on April 7, 2016


But where is Mads Mikkelson?

In the kitchen, fixing up a gorgeous looking meal, can't wait to dig in.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:58 AM on April 7, 2016 [14 favorites]


running towards an AT AT

Might be worth finding out what it is they're running away from
posted by Molesome at 6:58 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Also, is bad ass rebel woman Rey's mom? 'Cause that could explain the loose similarity.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:58 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


But where is Mads Mikkelson?

Well he better be in it since that is the main selling point for my SO (and the key topic of my email to her with the link to the trailer).

Basically I don't want to have to go on my own.
posted by biffa at 7:00 AM on April 7, 2016


Sorry for the aside, but many years ago there was a movie script floating around call Gemini Man with Harrison Ford attached.

I remember that! Although it was Mel Gibson when I heard about it (they even did test footage with him.)
posted by bluecore at 7:00 AM on April 7, 2016


I really like this trailer. But I tend to like Gaerth Edwards trailers more that his movies anyways.

Now that it's had a few hours to sink in, I do need to ask - why does their diverse casting only seem to apply to men? Lupita redone in CGI notwithstanding, they only seem to cast white women in these new films.
posted by thecjm at 7:01 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Now that it's had a few hours to sink in, I do need to ask - why does their diverse casting only seem to apply to men? Lupita redone in CGI notwithstanding, they only seem to cast white women in these new films.

PREACH.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:03 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]




But where is Mads Mikkelson?

Hangin around with his friends Wilgram
posted by beerperson at 7:04 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also, is bad ass rebel woman Rey's mom? 'Cause that could explain the loose similarity.

I'm hoping she's Rey's mum, and the pilot in the background in one of the scenes is Poe's dad, and Forrest Whittaker is Finn's dad, and that the original death star is the death planet's mother (and the second death star was its father) and that the man in the cloak is the tailor who made all the cloaks for everyone in all the films so far, and then at the end we get to see a scene where two AT-AT walkers have sex and one of them gives birth to a tiny little two-legged scout walker that struggles around like Bambi for a bit THE END
posted by dng at 7:08 AM on April 7, 2016 [127 favorites]


eriko – I have no problem whatsoever with the leitmotifs being all over everything, they're inseparable from Star Wars' whole *thing*. It's the pensive piano, it bugged me in TFA trailers, it bugged me in this, the choice of instrument is out of character for the SW musical universe IMHO. But I digress. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
posted by threecheesetrees at 7:08 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


This feels like a Matt Damon movie, not Star Wars.

I'm totally on board for a Matt Damn movie set in the Star Wars universe. Doubly so if Matt Damon is played by the next Scarlett Johansson. Not sure about the perpetual klaxon though.
posted by Nelson at 7:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Just saw it. I'm having a difficult time at work so I thought "Wow. This is totally my autobiography lately." And when he said "what will you become?" I thought "uh...unemployed?"

Looks great. Can't wait. Man, she looks a lot like Carrie Fischer.
posted by stormpooper at 7:13 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I liked the klaxon because it's very much a Death Star sound. Kind of brings it home.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:13 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


they only seem to cast white women in these new films.

I'm willing to forgive them the casting of Felicity Jones as Jyn Erso, because I figure the only reason for casting another pretty white brunette is to establish Rey's mother as a major character in the timeline.

I also guess that I'm happy enough with lady protagonists and important characters of colour that in general, at this stage in the Disney version of this universe, I don't need them to check every single box on the diversity bingo sheet. But maybe being a fan a nerd media for so long has resulting in my setting my bar for expected representation too low.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


I have no problem whatsoever with the leitmotifs being all over everything, they're inseparable from Star Wars' whole *thing*

What made the leitmotif interesting to me this time is that it is appearing over scenes with characters who aren't Skywalkers or Solos. Which is a big step towards widening the universe.

Anyways, I'm unreasonably excited about this movie.
posted by nubs at 7:14 AM on April 7, 2016


a tiny little two-legged scout walker

Man Builds Life-Size AT-ST
posted by valkane at 7:14 AM on April 7, 2016


KIDDO APPROVED
posted by Artw at 7:17 AM on April 7, 2016


That guy is gonna be really mad when he goes for a walk in the forest and those little teddy bear bastards fuck it up with some logs.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:18 AM on April 7, 2016 [21 favorites]


I do hope Poe's mom and dad are in this. I adore space opera romance. And I am totally down for the grand love story between the two humans who produced beautiful Poe Dameron, adorkable squishy sunshine muffin with crunchy snarky badass topping.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:18 AM on April 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


Actually, the real best thing is that my 5-yr old daughter draws picture after picture of Kylo Ren with a butt for his whole body and calls him "Ben the Butt" exclusively.

This is the best thing and I would watch a full-length feature film of Ben the Butt's fart-tantrums.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:20 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


But where is Mads Mikkelson?

"Whenever Mads isn't onscreen, all the other characters should be asking 'Where's Mads?'"
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:23 AM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]


Also, Mads should be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:25 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


"Whenever Mads isn't onscreen, all the other characters should be asking 'Where's Mads?'"

He's gone back to his home planet
posted by littlesq at 7:27 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Mon Mothyeah!?!!!
posted by Fizz at 7:28 AM on April 7, 2016


I legitimately wonder whether NuCanon will, in the Young Han Solo installment, keep or dispense with the Wookiee Life Debt as explanation for Chewbacca's affiliation w/Han.
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 7:28 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


You guys keep talking about Mads Mikkelson, and that's nice and all and I'mma let you have that, but imdb also says that Alan Tudyk is gonna be in this. GUYS. ALAN TUDYK.
posted by phunniemee at 7:29 AM on April 7, 2016 [26 favorites]


AT-ATS

ON

THE

BEACH

so clearly stormtroopers do get r&r
posted by GuyZero at 7:29 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


When they do a trailer with Mads in it I will actually die. This one already almost killed me.

They seem to have cast Forrest Whitaker as a Chaos Marine, which... yeah! Ok! Uh huh!
posted by selfnoise at 7:30 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


You guys keep talking about Mads Mikkelson, and that's nice and all and I'mma let you have that, but imdb also says that Alan Tudyk is gonna be in this. GUYS. ALAN TUDYK.

I know, right? In my heart of hearts I want him to be the voice/mocap for a brand new comic relief sidekick droid.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:31 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Rumor was that the next season of Rebels would be the last one and be a bridge to this film, which I was a bit disappointed by.

Not sure if I am quite so disappointed now.
posted by Artw at 7:32 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


He'll be a leaf on the wind.
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 7:32 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


"He'll be a leaf on the wind."

TOO SOON.
posted by joelhunt at 7:34 AM on April 7, 2016 [29 favorites]


Rumor was that the next season of Rebels would be the last one and be a bridge to this film, which I was a bit disappointed by.

No. :(

I need me more Chomper?!!
posted by Fizz at 7:35 AM on April 7, 2016


There was an interview with Freddie Prinze Jr after Rebels's season finale, debunking any speculation that that show will end after three seasons. Upshot: they got a plan, that lasts longer than three seasons.

This December I'll keep a sharp eye out for Rebels call-outs. Maybe reference to or contact with an agent codenamed Fulcrum?
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 7:36 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


At first I thought she was called Jan Ors. And given the likeness, that Rey was Jen and Katarn's daughter.

Then I recalled neither of them exist anymore, because saying "nah, fuck this all, Jar-Jar exists, but the EU stuff totally doesn't" was easier than saying "we're keeping characters and core personality, but changing their back story to match new canon".

It looks ok-ish. TFA was good and the characters sooooo much better than the shit Lucas came up with last time, but the story was kind of a Star Wars 1-6 best-of. While I'm not happy with the Yearlization of Star Wars, I'm curious to see what they do with the story.
posted by lmfsilva at 7:37 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fulcrum

The dream lives on.
posted by Artw at 7:39 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


OMFG! OMFG! OMFG! SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!
posted by evilDoug at 7:40 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm way more hyped for this than TFA. This doesn't look like it's appealing to nostalgia. This isn't trying to live up to anyone's monomyth. It's just good space opera.
posted by Apocryphon at 7:40 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Actual best Taylor Swift-themed Poe Dameron edit on Tumblr

more people like this please Star Wars
posted by nicebookrack at 7:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Alan Tudyk is gonna be in this. GUYS. ALAN TUDYK.

He's going to be playing the same robot he played in 'I, Robot', but this time he will be called C-throughPO.
posted by biffa at 7:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Is that Canary Wharf tube station? (1:11)

It's funny, even though I've never been to Canary Wharf station, and have only once used the London Underground, I immediately recognized that as a subway station and was like all FUCK YEAH STAR WARS PUBLIC TRANSIT!
posted by Kabanos at 7:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


I'm still sad that Alan Tudyk did not become a (mainstream) megastar after I, Robot, because he made that movie more awesome than it had any right to be, and he got no credit because he was in a mocap suit at the time.
posted by nicebookrack at 7:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, shit. The next eight months just got a lot longer.
posted by Mooski at 7:45 AM on April 7, 2016


Godzilla (2014) was really good, if a little uneven, so I have pretty high hopes for this. When I heard the premise, I was hoping for a lighter, heist movie style (sort of like how Ant Man compliments the larger THE WORLD IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED Marvel movies), but even if they're playing it serious, it still looks really good. Keep up the good work, Lucasfilm, I'm all for well made SciFi action movies with good writing and diverse casts.
posted by codacorolla at 7:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I liked The Force Awakens well enough, and after a decade can appreciate the meager charms of the prequels better than I could at their release, but I was a little kid from 1977 to 1983. So much of this -- the rebels' helmets, Mon Mothma, the AT-ATs, the star destroyers, the stormtroopers, even the Death Star's turbolaser being maneuvered into place -- made me think, "This is my Star Wars."

Chewie, we're home.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:46 AM on April 7, 2016 [20 favorites]


Wikipedia says Wash is in this movie.

I hope he teaches those peeps how to fly their X-Wings like leaves on the wind.
posted by qcubed at 7:48 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


That looks better than "The Force Awakens," to be honest.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:50 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Yoda's Grapes. Safe For Work and Not What You Think It Is, if you think at all like I do.
posted by beau jackson at 7:51 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


God I just hope we get to see BB-8 as a little kid
posted by beerperson at 7:52 AM on April 7, 2016 [16 favorites]


If Star Wars will get my 4 year old to eat more veggies, I'm all for it.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:52 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Now that I've had a chance to see it, I thought that siren was my internal monologue for a second.
WHOOO! WHOOO!
posted by rodlymight at 7:56 AM on April 7, 2016


Syrio Forel?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:59 AM on April 7, 2016


Ok. I am excite. Not only does this look super-cool. Not only does it have ANOTHER awesome female lead. But it also opens up whole new possibilities for Rey's parentage. All the speculation about her parents has been based on pre-existing characters. But they could easily introduce one or both of Rey's parents in this movie. Maybe she's the child of the heroine of this one? Maybe somebody else. This movie and the others that will follow offer the Lucasfilm New Order the chance to create new and interesting back-story that doesn't rely on anything in the prequels. Fucking. A.
posted by wabbittwax at 8:00 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


I am 100% okay with more Star Wars movies featuring Women Doing Stuff.
posted by skycrashesdown at 8:00 AM on April 7, 2016 [14 favorites]


That "I am a rebel, I am rebelling" stuff reminds me of the Mockingjay books & movies.

And that makes me sad, because the first book was great and the third one was kind of a mess. :7(
posted by wenestvedt at 8:03 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


one or two scenes look ridiculous (running towards an AT AT)

Yeah, it's kinda like putting 20 or 30 snub fighters up against the Death Star.
posted by nubs at 8:08 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


Guys there's way too much time in between for her to be Rey's mother unless she had Rey when she was like 50.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:08 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


> I'm totally on board for a Matt Damn movie set in the Star Wars universe. Doubly so if Matt Damon is played by the next Scarlett Johansson. Not sure about the perpetual klaxon though.
posted by Nelson at 10:12 AM on April 7



You know, the US has spent quite enough money saving Matt Damon from war, the Middle East, and space. If he manages to need rescuing from the Star Wars universe, I for one say let 'em hang.
posted by magstheaxe at 8:09 AM on April 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


one or two scenes look ridiculous (running towards an AT AT)

You're going to get out of range of its guns faster by going underneath it than by running away from it.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 8:09 AM on April 7, 2016 [14 favorites]


unless she had Rey when she was like 50.

*does Tsoukalos pose*
MIDICHLORIANS
posted by lmfsilva at 8:10 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Might be safer than running away? What's the turning circle of an AT-AT?
posted by biffa at 8:10 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


MIDICHLORIANS

How dare you use that word.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:11 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


beerperson: God I just hope we get to see BB-8 as a little kid

Soooo, just a BB, then?
posted by wenestvedt at 8:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


the best thing about BB8 is that he is shaped like all the characters in his name
posted by beerperson at 8:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [35 favorites]


You know, the US has spent quite enough money saving Matt Damon from war, the Middle East, and space. If he manages to need rescuing from the Star Wars universe, I for one say let 'em hang.

HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS GETTING INTO!

posted by Naberius at 8:17 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?
posted by GhostintheMachine at 8:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?

Didn't see any non-humans either. (Not counting droids.)
posted by popcassady at 8:24 AM on April 7, 2016


If you haven't seen the new Poe Dameron comic that debuted yesterday, it is precious and BB-8 is precious
posted by nicebookrack at 8:24 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?

Well that makes sense, right? We don't get any Vader in the trailer (or if we do, if that's him from the back, it's only a tiny taste) and all the other jedis are dead or living in a cave/vapor farm with their lightsabers locked in a trunk.
posted by phunniemee at 8:24 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Not sure about the perpetual klaxon though.

That wailing, draggy klaxon sound is a very distinctive Star Wars sound, only heard in the original films (not sure if it got touched in the remasters? I never watch those); I, for one, find the sound very evocative of the Star Wars universe.

Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?

I did, and I'm happy about it...the core movies fetishize the lightsabers to a very heavy degree, IMO, so I'm glad for their absence.
posted by nubs at 8:25 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?

Replaced by an actual saber. And some truncheons
posted by dng at 8:25 AM on April 7, 2016


I'll be attending a Star Wars movie every December for the rest of my life if they keep releasing them, but this trailer didn't really blow me away like the TFA trailers did. It may just be that glimpses of the universe aren't enough for me after seeing such an excellent complete movie.
posted by Drinky Die at 8:25 AM on April 7, 2016


Replaced by an actual saber

A more elegant weapon, from a more civilized age.
posted by nubs at 8:26 AM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?

For now, but I would love to see Vader just wrecking shit while the Rebels try to escape.

That wailing, draggy klaxon sound is a very distinctive Star Wars sound, only heard in the original films (not sure if it got touched in the remasters? I never watch those); I, for one, find the sound very evocative of the Star Wars universe.

Yeah it's very specifically a Death Star sound. You can hear it in this scene.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:28 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Do lightsabers actually require Jedi/Force powers to use them, or do Jedi just favor the stylishness aspect over the potential to lose fingers?
posted by nicebookrack at 8:30 AM on April 7, 2016


That wailing, draggy klaxon sound is a very distinctive Star Wars sound, only heard in the original films (not sure if it got touched in the remasters? I never watch those); I, for one, find the sound very evocative of the Star Wars universe.

And shiny black floors on Imperial bases.
posted by Fizz at 8:31 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I assume we will learn during the course of the movie that Jyn's full name is Jynnan Tonnix.

That is all. (I'll see myself out.)
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 8:31 AM on April 7, 2016 [33 favorites]


Do lightsabers actually require Jedi/Force powers to use them, or do Jedi just favor the stylishness aspect over the potential to lose fingers?

Anyone can pick one up and swing it around, but the Force allows you to sense where the blade is so you don't cut off your own extremities.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:32 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Do lightsabers actually require Jedi/Force powers to use them, or do Jedi just favor the stylishness aspect over the potential to lose fingers?

Anyone can pick one up and swing it around, but the Force allows you to sense where the blade is so you don't cut off your own extremities.


Non-Force Finn did "okay" in TFA, but the skillz went to a new level when Force-Strong Rey lit up. Finn was kind of just hacking away with it.
posted by joelhunt at 8:33 AM on April 7, 2016


Do lightsabers actually require Jedi/Force powers to use them

Well, being attuned to the Force certainly helps one be able to instinctively move the lightsaber in ways that will not kill yourself, but anybody can pick up a lightsaber and try to have at it: Finn does in TFA, and even Han briefly uses Luke's lightsaber to cut open a Tauntaun in Empire.
posted by mightygodking at 8:33 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


In a world where everyone is shooting lasers at you, a sword is a pretty dumb weapon unless you have superpowers that allow you to use it to deflect lasers.
posted by beerperson at 8:35 AM on April 7, 2016 [11 favorites]


shiny black floors on Imperial bases

Now that Disney owns Star Wars, BURN-E and such long-suffering janitorial/maintenance droid brethren are definitely in my Star Wars headcanon.
posted by nicebookrack at 8:35 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm glad that Disney is continuing to have diversity in the Star Wars films. I just hope they learn that LGBT characters can be in movies too.

Trailer looks great though.
posted by No One Ever Does at 8:38 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Anyone else notice the complete absence of lightsabers?

One thing that excites me about this movie is that it's the first that's shown not from the perspective of the 0.0001% (or even smaller) of the SW universe. How does everyone else live? We've seen only glimpses of that, an act or two at most before all the super-powers and laser swords start coming out, and suddenly everyone is all noble and heroic. Even (the increasingly excellent) Star Wars: Rebels is drifting into higher-powered territory. I'm looking forward to seeing a grunt's perspective in the rebellion. I'm guessing it's very different from Leia's or Luke's.
posted by bonehead at 8:39 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Now that Disney owns Star Wars, BURN-E and such long-suffering janitorial/maintenance droid brethren are definitely in my Star Wars headcanon.

I'mma let u finish but M-O shines the shiniest black floors ever.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:39 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


Oscar Isaac and I believe that Poe Dameron has a non-straight crush on Finn. Make it so, Disney!
posted by nicebookrack at 8:41 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Replaced by an actual saber

I was thinking this morning it had been too long since I had seen Blade 2, so this is like a message saying I should put it on tonight.

shiny black floors on Imperial bases


Bob Palpatine-Smith is the Galaxy's main supplier of floor polish, and the whole décor selection on imperial bases is payback for an under the counter loan from him to buy ten million clones about 30 years ago.
posted by biffa at 8:41 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


The best examples in the current canon concerning confirmed non-Force users are General Grievous in Revenge of the Sith and The Clone Wars, and ah, Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back. I don't think Finn will turn out to be a Force wielder, but the editing of the moment the Starkiller Base blows up some planets and the screams makes me not 100%.

I'm looking forward to seeing a grunt's perspective in the rebellion. I'm guessing it's very different from Leia's or Luke's.

I definitely recommend reading Battlefront: Twilight Company this is about as much "in the trenches" as you can get for Star Wars at the moment.

As for the trailer, yikers!

I'm fresh off my home release of TFA and this was just laid on a plate to push the high even higher. I had a few shivers seeing the Yavin IV base again, and just all the imagery was overload for my poor brain. I'm still processing it.
posted by Atreides at 8:42 AM on April 7, 2016


Guys there's way too much time in between for her to be Rey's mother unless she had Rey when she was like 50.

According to this timeline, Rogue One happens in Year 32, and Force Awakens happens in Year 66. A 34 year difference.

According to Wookiepedia, Rey was born approximately 11 years after the Battle of Endor, which was in Year 36. That puts Rey's birth in Year 47 (and makes her 19 in The Force Awakens).

Assuming Jyn Erso was 20 in Year 32, when Jyn is 35. Which seems well within child-bearing age. Even if Jyn is 25 in Rogue One, a baby at 40 isn't unheard of.
posted by sparklemotion at 8:42 AM on April 7, 2016 [14 favorites]




If you haven't seen the new Poe Dameron comic that debuted yesterday, it is precious and BB-8 is precious.

This is true, too, btw.
posted by Atreides at 8:43 AM on April 7, 2016


Assuming Jyn Erso was 20 in Year 32, when Jyn is 35. Which seems well within child-bearing age. Even if Jyn is 25 in Rogue One, a baby at 40 isn't unheard of.

However, Felicity Jones (playing Jyn) is 32. So, not impossible, but pretty unlikely.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 8:45 AM on April 7, 2016


In a universe with cloning technology and Force babies, I don't think a mothers age is that much of a barrier. Unless, of course, she loses the will to live.
posted by nubs at 8:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [16 favorites]


Assuming Jyn Erso was 20 in Year 32, when Jyn is 35. Which seems well within child-bearing age. Even if Jyn is 25 in Rogue One, a baby at 40 isn't unheard of.

Eh, fine. I've been out-mathed.

She's not Rey's mom though.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:46 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Potential gripes? You think we're making it up that there are a lot of complaints already on the internet from guys upset that they dared put a woman in the hero's role of another Star Wars movie?

This is like the sad, unsexy, garbage corollary to Rule 34, right?
posted by The Bellman at 8:46 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oscar Isaac and I believe that Poe Dameron has a non-straight crush on Finn. Make it so, Disney!

If I understand correctly, the delay for Episode 8 was due to rewrites, which to my ears sounded like they made some alterations when they heard fan reactions to Episode 7. When I read of the delay, my first thought was to wonder if maybe they were considering Bisexual Finn. As a possibly-related data point, I believe making Phasma a woman was a change they made in the wake of mass criticism of their casting diversity in the early days.

In a universe with cloning technology and Force babies, I don't think a mothers age is that much of a barrier. Unless, of course, she loses the will to live.

Have they invented a technology in Star Wars that makes parenting feel less like being pecked to death by chickens?
posted by middleclasstool at 8:48 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


I hope this doesn't suck.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:48 AM on April 7, 2016


This is like the sad, unsexy, garbage corollary to Rule 34, right?

Yeah, we should probably call it rule 66
posted by nubs at 8:50 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


It's weird having respect for Star Wars again.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:53 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


It's easier if you realize there have only been 4 Star Wars films so far.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:55 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Have they invented a technology in Star Wars that makes parenting feel less like being pecked to death by chickens?

"Esteemed members of the Galactic Senate, I present to you.... SPACE VODKA." Twenty Astromech Driods roll out with bottle service on their heads.

Somewhere else, the Svedka Robot turns off the TV in disgust. "I was a shoo-in for that part. Damn R2s and their union!"
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:55 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


you can look forward to an action figure box set of random background extras, though.

To be fair a lot of the background guys were awesome. IG-88 and Boush were cool toys, so were the red Imperial guards. Those dudes...they killed a lot of GI Joes at my house.
posted by Hoopo at 8:59 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


"Esteemed members of the Galactic Senate, I present to you.... SPACE VODKA." Twenty Astromech Droids roll out with bottle service on their heads.

BB8 drinks Space Vodka, reads MetaFilter and watches MeFi MST3K every Thursday....
posted by valkane at 9:00 AM on April 7, 2016


So, with The Force Awakens and now this trailer, they've pretty much given up on the conceit that Star Wars is for kids, huh?
posted by madajb at 9:00 AM on April 7, 2016


In a universe with cloning technology and Force babies, I don't think a mothers age is that much of a barrier. Unless, of course, she loses the will to live.

DO NOT WANT
posted by beerperson at 9:01 AM on April 7, 2016


I dunno, my kids loved The Force Awakens.
posted by Artw at 9:02 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


This feels like a Matt Damon movie, not Star Wars.

The Bourne Nerfherdium
posted by AndrewInDC at 9:02 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


So, with The Force Awakens and now this trailer, they've pretty much given up on the conceit that Star Wars is for kids, huh?

I think that ship sailed way back in Empire. Certainly did when Anakin's legs were cut off. Or when Phantom Menace started with a discussion of trade taxation and ended with a dude being bisected and cast down a bottomless pit.

The originals are PG, but speaking as a parent who has watched '80s PG movies with their kids, a lot of that stuff was PG-13, we just didn't have the rating yet. Also, you'd be surprised what kids can take without blinking. My little ones loved a Grimm tale I read them that featured a boy being beheaded, cut up into stew beef, and fed to his father. The last chapter book I read them (which they adored) had a major character die of AIDS and oh boy do I enjoy horrifying my mother by telling her about this stuff.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:05 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Actual footage of George Lucas at Skywalker ranch

MeFi's own George Lucas.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:07 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


totally on board for a Matt Damn movie

"Matt Damn" is totally going to be my punk rocker alter ego by the way. (I'm thinking Matt Damn and the Erections.) Do you think people will get what I'm going for?
posted by Naberius at 9:07 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


So, with The Force Awakens and now this trailer, they've pretty much given up on the conceit that Star Wars is for kids, huh?

I gotta tell ya, it's really odd watching Adam Driver in "Girls" as he's having sex and talking all sorts of dirty talk a. I think "Hey, that's the Leia and Han's kid, who keeps ashes of his dead enemies and killed Han," and get really confused.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


running towards an AT AT

Might be worth finding out what it is they're running away from


And, to be fair, the AT-AT is not the most dextrous machine. I'd argue that being closer to or underneath the thing (riding on a foot?) is substantially safer than being in front of it.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 9:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


And Ben Affuck on the bass
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:13 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Didn't Empire establish that the best way to take down imperial mechs is to get under them with bombs and tripwires?
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 9:16 AM on April 7, 2016


And, to be fair, the AT-AT is not the most dextrous machine.

The Empire still hadn't quite worked out their ground assault tactics several years later.
posted by AndrewInDC at 9:18 AM on April 7, 2016


Some wag did a FTFY for that white-garbed Imperial officer.
posted by The Nutmeg of Consolation at 9:18 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


And, to be fair, the AT-AT is not the most dextrous machine.

They're pretty fast, tho.
posted by entropicamericana at 9:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


So, with The Force Awakens and now this trailer, they've pretty much given up on the conceit that Star Wars is for kids, huh?

That's kind of an odd question to ask, though, isn't it? I mean, what is for kids, in your opinion? I'm at a loss to see any contextual difference between A New Hope and The Force Awakens in terms of material being suitable for kids. Phantom Menace is about as low as one can go in the movie franchise where kids are obviously pandered to with a POV character in Anakin and bathroom humor.

In this trailer, there's a notable absence of something which might appeal to pre-school kids, but jumping back in my time machine, I didn't see anything that I wouldn't have loved as a nine year old. Star Wars was never designed just as entertainment for children, it was designed to entertain the masses, all ages. It's intended to be just as much fun for the kid and her parents and it's generally remained so pretty steadily for the most eversince.
posted by Atreides at 9:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


God, this is great, but was the lead role the one we had Tatiana Maslany of Orphan Black down for? Because she would have been REALLY good here.

Also - Riz Ahmed! Get in!!
posted by ominous_paws at 9:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Some wag did a FTFY for that white-garbed Imperial officer.

No Suncrusher nonsense!
posted by Artw at 9:22 AM on April 7, 2016


The "Star Wars is for kids" thing was started by George Lucas as a defense for the stupidity of Jar Jar.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:26 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Oscar Isaac and I believe that Poe Dameron has a non-straight crush on Finn. Make it so, Disney!

That makes their relationship make SO much more sense. This will forever be my head-cannon no matter what.


Thank you.
posted by mayonnaises at 9:26 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Bellman: "This is like the sad, unsexy, garbage corollary to Rule 34, right?"

Indeed. And that's why we have trash compactors. With Dianogas in them.
posted by chavenet at 9:28 AM on April 7, 2016


Guys, guys, I like the klaxon too. But it goes on for a long time in this trailer, 31 of the 90 seconds by my count. It's an unpleasant and aggressive sound to have mixed so heavily into a trailer. But listening to the trailer a second and third time it's clearly deliberate and creates a sense of urgency and danger. So maybe this will end up being widely imitated and become be the new trailer cliché. I'm really fucking over the Inception horn.
posted by Nelson at 9:30 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I realized after I watched the trailer: There is no reason you couldn't have OG Vader in this movie. James Earl Jones is still very much alive, and all you need is his voice. That would be something.
posted by dry white toast at 9:36 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]




dry white toast, there are rumors, unconfirmed, that Vader is in this film, and of course, that might well be him kneeling in the chamber with the red-robed Imperial Guards.
posted by Atreides at 9:38 AM on April 7, 2016


Saw the post on the front page, rolled my eyes a little.

Looked at my twitter, saw everyone was talking about the trailer.

Watched the trailer and came to this thread.

Completely undisappointed by the trailer.

Unrolled my eyes, and am actually now looking forward to this movie, where before I was not.
posted by hippybear at 9:39 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's an unpleasant and aggressive sound to have mixed so heavily into a trailer.

Sorry, what's that? I couldn't hear you over this badass klaxon.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:42 AM on April 7, 2016 [20 favorites]


dry white toast, there are rumors, unconfirmed, that Vader is in this film, and of course, that might well be him kneeling in the chamber with the red-robed Imperial Guards.

Looking forward to the moment when the full trailer comes out and everyone hears the Vader breathing apparatus.
posted by dry white toast at 9:42 AM on April 7, 2016


Vader appearing only in swanky TIE jockey mode for the final battle would be an excellent touch <-o->
posted by comealongpole at 9:42 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


also re lightsabres. If memory serves, anyone can use it, with varying degrees of skill, but the mark of a Jedi that has completed their training is being able to build your own.
posted by dry white toast at 9:43 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I realized after I watched the trailer: There is no reason you couldn't have OG Vader in this movie. James Earl Jones is still very much alive, and all you need is his voice. That would be something.

He's done voice work for Vader in Rebels, so yeah there's no reason why he couldn't do it for Rogue One.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:44 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Diego Luna + Felicity Jones = Poe Dameron??
posted by ChuraChura at 9:45 AM on April 7, 2016


If your SO is asleep and you wake up first and excitedly watch the trailer, even with the sound way down, you MIGHT end up making them a bit pissed off with you because of the klaxon.
posted by Artw at 9:48 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Poe Dameron's parents are Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, for more on that pair, see Marvel's Shattered Empire mini-series set from the Battle of Endor forward a number of months thereafter. I will have a hoot, though, if Diego Luna is Kes Dameron.
posted by Atreides at 9:48 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Kes Dameron was a special forces/commando type of guy.
posted by Atreides at 9:49 AM on April 7, 2016


"But it's Star Wars!" maybe not a great excuse either.
posted by Artw at 9:49 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


"But it's Star Wars!" maybe not a great excuse either.

I used that to get out of a speeding ticket, FYI.
posted by Atreides at 9:50 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


omg Artw, DTMFA
posted by phunniemee at 9:51 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


Personally I'm beyond giving a shit how those klaxons sound coming through my office walls. I closed the door, that's your compromise.
posted by middleclasstool at 9:51 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


"But it's Star Wars!" maybe not a great excuse either.

Mr hippybear learned that it IS a great excuse, no matter what he thinks, about 20 years ago. He now indulges my illness. An SO can be trained to realize exactly how important these things are, but it takes a while.
posted by hippybear at 9:52 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Also, it's been mentioned, but I will say it again -- the music in this trailer is amazing. I would buy the full piano-based SW theme song they used as a basis for this trailer today if it were available.
posted by hippybear at 9:53 AM on April 7, 2016


" . . . There's a new - good - Star Wars coming out . . EVERY YEAR?!?

. . . ngaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

Pull up! You're going in too fast!
posted by petebest at 9:57 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


That's kind of an odd question to ask, though, isn't it? I mean, what is for kids, in your opinion? I'm at a loss to see any contextual difference between A New Hope and The Force Awakens in terms of material being suitable for kids.

Keeping in mind that I have see The Force Wakens only once and Star Wars, well, too many times to count probably.

The violence in Force Awakens is definitely more immediate and graphic, there is blood, there are dead bodies, there are wounded.
In Star Wars, with few notable exceptions, the violence is ... more removed, less real.
Stormtroopers get blasted, they don't get blown to bits.*
Even Owen and Beru are shown burnt, but from far away, no close up.
No one gets run through with a light saber and tossed off a gangway, Obi Wan simply melts away.

Similarly, the number of times in Force Awakens where people are threatened with death directly, as in "I will kill you" is quite a bit higher than Star Wars, where the threat of direct violence is often implied, but rarely stated.

There is torture in both movies, but Star Wars cuts away, you are left to infer what happens with the droid and the needle, Force Awakens, we get people strapped to chairs.

The plotline in Star Wars is decidedly simpler. Good guys are good, bad guys are bad. No one is conflicted, we're not required to pick up on any subtext or rely on things outside of the film to flesh out the plot.

It's vague, I know, and I hate to fall back on "tone" as a descriptor, but it seems to be that if the original films were targeted at a mass audience, and the prequels were aimed at 8 year old boys, the new ones seem, if not entirely grimdark, definitely coming from a grittier place than the earlier films.

(This is my perspective as the parent of an elementary schooler who is enraptured by the originals.)

*Except for the million or so defense contractors, plumbers and their families on the Death Star....
posted by madajb at 10:00 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


As I was saying on Twitter, I think this might be the first of many attempts to replicate the Marvel shared world model that actually works.
posted by Artw at 10:00 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


>> Poe Dameron has a non-straight crush on Finn
That makes their relationship make SO much more sense.


🎶 I can show you the world;
Shining, shimmering, spleeeeendiiiiiid 🎶
posted by nicebookrack at 10:00 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Loved the trailer, excited about the movie, and will probably end up seeing it multiple times.

But...it looks like the canon Star Wars movies are still failing the simplest form of the Blackdel test: is there a black female character who says or does even one significant thing?

Not cool.
posted by lord_wolf at 10:02 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Even Owen and Beru are shown burnt, but from far away, no close up.

I seem to remember there being a pretty closely-framed shot of their burning corpses, but there is no way Google Image Search is going to give me the actual movie frame that I can trust. It traumatized me as a 9 year old, but it also galvanized me to WANT LUKE TO FIGHT THE EMPIRE. This was its intended purpose for 9 year old me, and it was quite effective. All 59 times I saw that movie that summer.
posted by hippybear at 10:02 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


No one gets run through with a light saber and tossed off a gangway, Obi Wan simply melts away.

Obi Wan cuts off an arm in the Cantina, there is blood.
posted by Drinky Die at 10:05 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


hippybear, you remembered accurately. It scarred me as a child, too. Here's the frame. Warning, Owen and Beru skeletons.
posted by stolyarova at 10:08 AM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


is there a black female character who says or does even one significant thing?

well uh if black female actresses playing aliens counts, and if resisting the patriarchy (Jabba) counts, then uh okay you know what bad example
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:09 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think that ship sailed way back in Empire. Certainly did when Anakin's legs were cut off. Or when Phantom Menace started with a discussion of trade taxation and ended with a dude being bisected and cast down a bottomless pit.

I think Return of the Jedi is worse.
You can show a million storm troopers driving into trees and my daughter won't care.
But you show one "teddy bear" getting killed, and she's ready to blow up the Empire all by herself. heh.
posted by madajb at 10:10 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


i wish the ewoks had all been burnt to a crisp.

it's like fucking phalanxes defeating tanks all over again jesus christ just blow up the damn forest moon nobody gives a shit about overstuffed turds with fur
posted by qcubed at 10:12 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


it's like fucking phalanxes defeating tanks all over again jesus christ just blow up the damn forest moon nobody gives a shit about overstuffed turds with fur

qcubed, you know I like you and all, but I will srsly fight you
posted by phunniemee at 10:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


I just hope that, before I die, I finally get to see the origin film of The Guy In Empire Strikes Back Who Loves His Ice Cream Maker that we all so richly deserve.

Willrow Hood's story might actually make a great comic or short film, given that he apparently saved the Alliance's computer core in the aftermath of the Imperial invasion.
posted by possibilityleft at 10:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I don't see what tribbles have to do with this
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:14 AM on April 7, 2016


hokey tough-guy/girl lines leading into battle montages, action scenes that have a Transformers feel... it felt like a generic blockbuster with admittedly cool Star Wars trappings.
Yeah, I got a little bit of a modern actionmcfighty vibe that I wasn't crazy about, but I think old Star Wars fans like me are a peripheral target audience for this one. It looks pretty cool! (Fingers crossed that future trailers don't have any super slow motion "guy leaping legs akimbo towards another guy while wielding a weapon" Zack Snyder shots.)

I'm curious to see where Episode VIII will fall stylistically.
posted by usonian at 10:15 AM on April 7, 2016


I'm hoping ep VIII is all Bergmanesque meditations between Luke and Rey and they never leave Skellig Michael
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:17 AM on April 7, 2016 [21 favorites]


i wish the ewoks had all been burnt to a crisp.

Cheer up.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:18 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I love the shot at :43 where you *think* the Star Destroyer is just in front of a field of stars, then the shadow pulls back...

Not really a fan of the "serious" sounding piano Force Theme, and I never want to hear another BWAAAMP in a trailer again, but I do like how it counterpoints with the Imperial March at the end.

This looks better than I expected it to. I can't seem to get excited about Star Wars for another consecutive year, though. I'll save my energy for VIII.
posted by zchyrs at 10:18 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Right, the cool kids ignored Han Solo and bought The Lando Calrissian Adventures


I'd watch a Young Lando movie.
posted by thivaia at 10:20 AM on April 7, 2016 [15 favorites]


I'm curious to see where Episode VIII will fall stylistically.

Rey and Finn spend nearly 2 hours over dinner in a fancy restaurant discussing philosophy, theater, rebellion, and the nature of life.
posted by hippybear at 10:20 AM on April 7, 2016 [13 favorites]


That wailing, draggy klaxon sound is a very distinctive Star Wars sound, only heard in the original films (not sure if it got touched in the remasters? I never watch those); I, for one, find the sound very evocative of the Star Wars universe.

As the Imperial starship floats across the screen around :40 or so, the Death Star laser dish wipes in like an update on the kind of 1970s special effects shot you'd have seen in the first SW movies. Like the klaxon, I thought that was a pretty clever nod to the past.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 10:24 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


I just said to a friend of mine how the shot with the shadow of the dish was a clever homage to George's overuse love of wipes.
posted by cmfletcher at 10:27 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


I'm curious to see where Episode VIII will fall stylistically.

In an attempt to experiment with form, Episode VIII is actually a high school theater production which only runs for two weeks at the Saint Thomas More High School cafeteria in Rapid City, South Dakota.
posted by beerperson at 10:33 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


In an attempt to experiment with form, Episode VIII is actually a high school theater production which only runs for two weeks at the Saint Thomas More High School cafeteria in Rapid City, South Dakota.

Is it a musical? Because I'd pay good money to see a Jawas and Wookies song and dance number.
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:36 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


cmfletcher: "I just said to a friend of mine how the shot with the shadow of the dish was a clever homage to George's overuse love of wipes."

That was my thought too. It's a great shot in any case.
posted by octothorpe at 10:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


So, I had no particular idea that this movie was a thing (I was expecting Episode VIII this year, but I haven't been reading up on their release schedule). I'm intrigued.
posted by Archelaus at 10:45 AM on April 7, 2016


phunniemee:
qcubed, you know I like you and all, but I will srsly fight you

i'm just sayin', when i bring my modern armor and such to bear against shaka, i don't want his goddamn phalanxes winning so often. even if they're fortified. it's just... augh!

ewoks are the damn phalanxes. those at-ats were super-modern armor. just. how. if they were wookies i'd be down for it because wookies are cool and at least had modern tech, so that'd be believable, but that shit with pre-industrial age, irregular troops with minimal experience using beam weaponry and explosives and... augh!

i hate you george lucas
posted by qcubed at 10:51 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, is bad ass rebel woman Rey's mom? 'Cause that could explain the loose similarity.

Might as well make her Luke's future wife, yeah?
posted by 90s_username04 at 10:54 AM on April 7, 2016


mcstayinskool: Is it a musical? Because I'd pay good money to see a Jawas and Wookies song and dance number.

If it's the winter show, then yes!

See, in the Midwest, there's no indoor track season in the winter, so the Drama teacher can grab the weightmen before the track coach needs them to start training for the spring. Shot-putters, hammer-throwers, and all of the hairiest beasts in a high school locker room will have their moment on stage!
posted by wenestvedt at 10:56 AM on April 7, 2016


(cue gritty movie trailer voice)

From the screen writers of After Earth and The Golden Compass and the director of Godzilla XXX comes a movie that's like something you've seen before.
posted by belarius at 10:56 AM on April 7, 2016


i mean seriously if the stormtroopers were taken down by a group of short hairy oafs that have no concept of interstellar warfare so easily and quickly...

...why was anyone scared of the empire? seriously, how can anyone take the empire as a serious threat anyway in the first place, given that their stormtroopers couldn't hit the broad side of a tauntaun if they'd crawled inside of it, and could be killed just by having someone wave a faintly glowy stick in the same city as them?

seriously how is the empire a scary force or the big bad at all

goddamn i hate you george lucas i hope your stupid museum dies too
posted by qcubed at 11:01 AM on April 7, 2016


passes the bechdel test in the teaser trailer

I don't want to jinx it, but good lord is post-Lucas Lucasfilm hitting them out of the park, yeah?

Kathleen Kennedy: “I’m in charge now, I’M IN CHARGE!”
posted by dorkydancer at 11:03 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


The whole reason they needed the deathstar was obviously to make up for the extreme uselessness of their ground troops.
posted by dng at 11:04 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


i mean if the empire really was as ruthless and brutal as was believed why didn't they just exterminate all life that looked like it could be sentient on endor before they started building...

there's just so much that just doesn't make sense it's like watching a semi-competent jj abrams trying to stitch a story together

At least Rogue One might not be embarrassing.
posted by qcubed at 11:04 AM on April 7, 2016


Oh, if anyone wants to test the light saber without the Force thingy, grab a friend, a laser pointer (or a flashlight, but the laser works better), and start doing some sweet moves holding the pointer as a sword. Then, ask your friend how many times you chopped off your own hair, nose, ear, shoulders, back, or legs.
posted by lmfsilva at 11:06 AM on April 7, 2016


Stormtroopers are just the empire's ceremonial show of force in person reminder that they own you and your village. Citizens are terrified of the empire because they're really good at blowing up shit from a distance. Sure you can rebel and knock out the white helmeted reminders that the empire owns you but 3 hours later you and your entire county has been disentegrated from orbit via Star Destroyer, Death Star, subspace laser planet.
posted by cmfletcher at 11:07 AM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Well the empire didn't exactly last a long time -- less than lots of short-lived empires from actual human history. So maybe it's logical that they appear incompetent.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 11:08 AM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


According to this timeline, Rogue One happens in Year 32, and Force Awakens happens in Year 66. A 34 year difference.

According to Wookiepedia, Rey was born approximately 11 years after the Battle of Endor, which was in Year 36


You know, I wish they'd set Rouge One about Year 22. Because then our mystery heroine would be about, oh, 25-30 during the original Star Wars movie.

That means our heroine could have been moody teenaged Leia. ;-)
posted by eriko at 11:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


This movie franchise I loved when I was nine, which is about mystical space wizards, is really improved by Talmudic commentary about why it's unrealistic.
posted by usonian at 11:14 AM on April 7, 2016 [19 favorites]


I've always figured that if the Empire had invested more in training for the troops and created some basic workplace health and safety guidelines, it would have held power.

The more recent question on my mind is what Palpatine wanted with the Empire anyways? beyond destroying the Jedi, what were his plans with his acension?
posted by nubs at 11:16 AM on April 7, 2016


k guys you really need to focus on spelling Rogue correctly because it makes my eye twitch when it's wrong.
posted by Fleebnork at 11:16 AM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


workplace health and safety guidelines

do you know what a railing around every bottomless pit is going to cost?!
posted by cmfletcher at 11:19 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


That means our heroine could have been moody teenaged Leia. ;-)

I think that would be much more interesting than young Han. There have been kickass women in Star Wars from the start, folks. I'd love to see more about how she developed into a rebel leader.
posted by Drinky Die at 11:20 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


I guess I'm running against the grain here, but this trailer has me worried. It felt full of cliches to me. Inception-style BWAAHs, hokey tough-guy/girl lines leading into battle montages, action scenes that have a Transformers feel... it felt like a generic blockbuster with admittedly cool Star Wars trappings. I really hope this characterizes just the trailer and not the movie.

I was a little excited that Disney was going to be opening up the Star Wars universe to a whole bunch of different directorial styles and genres. Now I'm not so sure. This feels like a Matt Damon movie, not Star Wars.


I agree with this a whole lot.

My complaint with Star Wars movies isn't so much their fault. It's more that I'm not 10 years old, like I was when the first movie came out in '77.

I credit the first movie with sort of creating a new "vocabulary" for scifi/fantasy movies. This vocabulary was so original and successful that it was adopted, expanded, and to a large degree standardized by the industry in the 40 years since. It occurred to me watching TFA that so much of what was in there were those same elements that almost every scifi/fantasy movie uses to make successful box office hits, and not so successful ones, too. What we have with every new SW (and just about every new scifi/fantasy movie) is that vocabulary, rearranged to make new stories. What I yearn for is not just another Star Wars, but another universe, a fresh vocabulary, brought out the way that first movie did. Tough, I know. Doesn't necessarily make the newer movies bad. But it's kind of like I want to see this with fresh eyes once again, introduced to a world that still needs to be fleshed out in ways that are not predictable, with newly revealed angles to make it a richer, more fascinating place you want to explore.
posted by 2N2222 at 11:20 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


k guys you really need to focus on spelling Rogue correctly because it makes my eye twitch when it's wrong.

I've been desensitized to that by years of World of Warcraft and Hearthstone.
posted by Drinky Die at 11:21 AM on April 7, 2016


Gotcha fleebnork!

Dunno why crossoverman used that link, but give some hits to the official Rouge One trailer, and if you turn the annotations on, that silly Mark Hamill moment links to this video, which is not related to Rouge One. But it's a nice charity thing, and Mark does a neat joke regarding that death stare. Kathleen Kennedy sounds like a nice lady, furthering my hopes for Rouge One.

Rouge!
posted by numaner at 11:21 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


I guess it would be simpler if it were spelled "Roge"

wow such word
posted by Fleebnork at 11:22 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


numaner *twitch* why are you *twitch* doing this to me?

*twitch*
posted by Fleebnork at 11:23 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


The more recent question on my mind is what Palpatine wanted with the Empire anyways? beyond destroying the Jedi, what were his plans with his acension?

He wanted power for the sake of power. It's good to be the king Emperor for Life.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:34 AM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


k guys you really need to focus on spelling Rogue correctly because it makes my eye twitch when it's wrong.

You mean it's not a call out to "Red One" aka the flight leader of the attack agains the Death Star?
posted by eriko at 11:39 AM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Rouge One plot synopsis -- a young women on a planet far away simply cannot get her cheeks the proper shade of blushing pink until she infiltrates the base of an oppressive government.
posted by hippybear at 11:40 AM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Then I recalled neither of them exist anymore, because saying "nah, fuck this all, Jar-Jar exists, but the EU stuff totally doesn't" was easier than saying "we're keeping characters and core personality, but changing their back story to match new canon".

I still believe Jan Ors and Kyle Katarn are still out there, searching with Wraith Squadron for Garm Bel Iblis and the Katana Fleet to stop Inquisitor Jerec's plot with Grand Admiral Thrawn to resurrect Darth Traya.
posted by Apocryphon at 11:45 AM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Actually, scratch that, I'm loving the fact that I'm seeing a venti tubful of male tears already whingeing about how the woman protagonist is a mary sue.

Maybe they really should change the title to Rouge One.
posted by qcubed at 11:53 AM on April 7, 2016


Rey and Finn spend nearly 2 hours over dinner in a fancy restaurant discussing philosophy, theater, rebellion, and the nature of life.

Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take a tour of the Hosnian system's best restaurants. After two hours of maudlin comedy, they look up to the sky at a peculiar red glow.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:54 AM on April 7, 2016 [17 favorites]


do you know what a railing around every bottomless pit is going to cost?!

Gotta be cheaper than a second Death Star.
posted by nubs at 12:03 PM on April 7, 2016


do you know what a railing around every bottomless pit is going to cost?!

Gotta be cheaper than a second Death Star.

I dunno, the Park Service really pushed back when we floated the idea of putting a walkway from the Desert Planet Visitors Center right up to the edge of the Sarlacc Pit at the last quarterly coordination subcommittee meeting. The remediation costs for the walkway were going to exceed their allocation for the next three fiscal years running, and the cost of stabilization required to sink pilings for railing supports would easily increase that by a third.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:12 PM on April 7, 2016 [9 favorites]


I dunno, the Park Service really pushed back when we floated the idea of putting a walkway from the Desert Planet Visitors Center right up to the edge of the Sarlacc Pit at the last quarterly coordination subcommittee meeting. The remediation costs for the walkway were going to exceed their allocation for the next three fiscal years running, and the cost of stabilization required to sink pilings for railing supports would easily increase that by a third.

*stares*

*shoots first*
posted by petebest at 12:18 PM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


The thing about "Lightsabers have no mass" is a massless blade wouldn't require swoopy slashes that you have to put your whole body into. There are real swords that are very light and real techniques developed to use them, which mostly involve holding them at arm's length and poking at your opponent.

Lightsabers involve (IIRC) a disk of plasma held in a tight magnetic confinement field, which sounds like something that would generate a lot of angular momentum. So moving this around would take a lot of effort, thus the big gaudy swings Jedi use.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:22 PM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


a lot of angular momentum

It might also explain Yoda's fighting style.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:24 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


The noise that lightsabers make also supports the idea that they disturb a lot of air as they are swung around. I also recall there being a big deal made of the fact that Vader occasionally wielded his lightsaber one-handed in Empire, because it was felt that lightsabers would be too heavy to use that way. The energy must have its own weird gravitational pull or something. I don't know from physics.
posted by wabbittwax at 12:27 PM on April 7, 2016


I dunno, the Park Service really pushed back when we floated the idea of putting a walkway from the Desert Planet Visitors Center right up to the edge of the Sarlacc Pit at the last quarterly coordination subcommittee meeting

Look, I'm not wanting to be dismissive of the Park Service - they're great people, really great, and our Parks are the best - but I'm not thinking about preventing some tourist who may not even be a citizen of the Empire from falling into a Sarlacc Pit, here. I'm talking about the fine men and women of our Imperial Forces - great people, really great, honestly the best - who already have a hazardous job, what with all these Rebels who want to kill everyone. Seriously, if you see a Rebel, just punch them or shoot them or something, folks. Anyways, what I'm saying is their job is already dangerous, really dangerous, the danger is just huge, so why can't we put up some railings around our pits and shafts in our Imperial bases and ships? That way they at least don't fall to their deaths. It's part of making the Empire great again!

And the cost? Don't talk to me about the cost! You know who is going to pay for the cost? I'm going to make the Bothians pay for it. That's right, the Bothians. They never send us their best, they are spies and rebel sympathizers, and they can pay for the railings.
posted by nubs at 12:29 PM on April 7, 2016 [22 favorites]


Did you see the environmental impact report on that walkway? It would completely disrupt the migratory patterns of the Bantha and Womp Rat populations. I mean I'm no fan of the Grand Moffs but they got that one right.

These comments are starting to sound like episode VII if it were written by Lucas.
posted by cmfletcher at 12:32 PM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Very excited for the Star Wars Rogue movie where a rebel agent dies of starvation over and over and over.
posted by Legomancer at 12:32 PM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


Lightsabers involve (IIRC) a disk of plasma held in a tight magnetic confinement field, which sounds like something that would generate a lot of angular momentum.

I always thought that swinging a lightsaber would feel a lot like holding onto a big gyroscope (as in the spinning bicycle wheel physics demonstration), so this makes a lot of sense to me.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:33 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


also recall there being a big deal made of the fact that Vader occasionally wielded his lightsaber one-handed in Empire, because it was felt that lightsabers would be too heavy to use that way.

Ren uses his one handed in TFA, as a side note. On a larger note, I always felt/thought that the choice to have Vader start the fight one-handed in Empire was a fantastic means of expressing the relative stages of the fight with Luke - his one handed use of it in the opening moments, compared to Luke's two handed stance, displays a level of ability and confidence that far exceeds Luke.

But Star Wars being Star Wars, I guess I shouldn't be surprised someone has looked at the weight of a lightsaber.
posted by nubs at 12:34 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take a tour of the Hosnian system's best restaurants. After two hours of maudlin comedy, they look up to the sky at a peculiar red glow.

Actually, once Rob Brydon started up with his impressions they wanted to blow the planet up right away, but it took two hours to warm up the laser.
posted by littlesq at 12:35 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


In an attempt to experiment with form, Episode VIII is actually a high school theater production which only runs for two weeks at the Saint Thomas More High School cafeteria in Rapid City, South Dakota.

I am happy to discover that, yes, it exists.
posted by Celsius1414 at 12:35 PM on April 7, 2016


Actually, once Rob Brydon started up with his impressions they wanted to blow the planet up right away, but it took two hours to warm up the laser.

You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!!!
posted by wabbittwax at 12:38 PM on April 7, 2016 [12 favorites]


Somehow, without knowing anything about it, I'd previously come to the conclusion I wouldn't be particularly interested in this movie. Where did I get that fool idea from?
posted by SometimeNextMonth at 12:39 PM on April 7, 2016


*George Lucas waves hand* you don't need to see this particular movie.
posted by wabbittwax at 12:41 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Plz Rogue One feature a scene where two dopey rebels crash Forest Whittaker's brand new fancy landspeeder that the Rebellion gave him for joining up and they can't fix it so they make it look like stormtroopers did it and so in the next battle scene Whittaker is just like soooooooooo mad that he has like angry superhuman strength and is just *wreckin* Imperial fools.
That would be a good scene.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 12:44 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


*George Lucas waves hand* you don't need to see this particular movie.

*George waves his hand again* you will get me a diet coke
posted by littlesq at 12:45 PM on April 7, 2016


Saint Thomas More High School cafeteria in Rapid City, South Dakota.

Now that's a name I've not heard in a long time. A long time.
posted by jason_steakums at 12:56 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is it a musical? Because I'd pay good money to see a Jawas and Wookies song and dance number.

Depending on your tolerance of Bea Arthur and down-tempo 70's lounge-style remixes in this theatrical tour de force, I have some good news for you.
posted by Mayor West at 1:10 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Rey and Finn spend nearly 2 hours over dinner in a fancy restaurant discussing philosophy, theater, rebellion, and the nature of life.

My Dinner with Rey.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


..which is much better than George Lucas' earlier:

My Dinner with Nute Gunray

that was just two more hours about trade negotiations.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:15 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


I actually hope that none of the characters in Rogue One are related to the characters in Force Awakens or anyone else in the current string of movies. I like the idea of complete strangers with practically no knowledge of each other working towards the common goal of toppling the Empire, with Mon Mothma pulling all the strings.
posted by CancerMan at 1:16 PM on April 7, 2016 [23 favorites]


You mean it's not a call out to "Red One" aka the flight leader of the attack agains the Death Star?

Trevor?
posted by biffa at 1:42 PM on April 7, 2016


Before we got a good look at her, I thought our lead there might be Ellen Page. Which could also have been fun.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 1:50 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


I actually hope that none of the characters in Rogue One are related to the characters in Force Awakens or anyone else in the current string of movies. I like the idea of complete strangers with practically no knowledge of each other working towards the common goal of toppling the Empire, with Mon Mothma pulling all the strings.

See also "actually, the JOKER killed Batman's parents" or whatever. It's better if everything isn't tied up in a neat little bow.

Also, I'd like to see Star Wars break out of this whole genetics = destiny/dynasty thing. The world has, as they say, moved on.
posted by middleclasstool at 1:50 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Before we got a good look at her, I thought our lead there might be Ellen Page. Which could also have been fun.

Then the Empire could have prevented the theft of the Death Star plans simply by putting them on an average-height shelf.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:55 PM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


I wasn't initially sold on this, but then that incessant klaxon started up and suddenly it reminded me of the best R.E.M. song ever and yeah, you guys, this is gonna be awesome.
posted by The World Famous at 2:03 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Have they announced who's playing Manny Bothans?
posted by The Gaffer at 2:04 PM on April 7, 2016 [19 favorites]


if the original films were targeted at a mass audience, and the prequels were aimed at 8 year old boys, the new ones seem, if not entirely grimdark, definitely coming from a grittier place than the earlier films.

It's pretty uneven, though. I mean, The Phantom Menace was probably the most "kid-friendly", but Revenge of the Sith might be one of the LEAST kid-friendly. I mean, first Anakin murders a bunch of small children, then he gets his legs cut off and kind of rolls around in pain while Obi-Wan lectures him. And then all the other Jedi getting backstabbed, etc, etc. It's pretty grim as Star Wars go, more so than The Force Awakens IMO.
posted by thefoxgod at 2:05 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Visually, she looks a bit similar to Rey, which seems odd, but not a big deal.

Cinemablend: Wait, Is Felicity Jones Playing Rey's Mom In Star Wars: Rogue One? Let's Talk This Out
posted by effbot at 2:10 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


That's one of the reasons I like the prequels. Nothing like that ever could have gotten out of a major studio blockbuster factory. For all their flaws, you will not again see an idiosyncratic personal vision like that executed on such a grand scale in a long, long time.

(and I can already hear the "yeah, thank GOD" replies in my head, k?)
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:10 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


Also, I'd like to see Star Wars break out of this whole genetics = destiny/dynasty thing. The world has, as they say, moved on.

I just wrote about how the new glue which binds everyone together (not the Force) is the Battle of Endor. Seriously, almost every new piece of Star Wars canon now released has characters which can are directly connected to that battle or are indirectly connected. (Link to that on my profile page for those in need of a sleep aid.)
posted by Atreides at 2:11 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Cinemablend: Wait, Is Felicity Jones Playing Rey's Mom In Star Wars: Rogue One? Let's Talk This Out

White, female, and with a British accent, why not?
posted by Atreides at 2:12 PM on April 7, 2016


For all their flaws, you will not again see an idiosyncratic personal vision like that executed on such a grand scale in a long, long time.


Right. For example, you'll never see a series of massive-budget, major studio superhero movies that completely trash everything a beloved comic book hero has ever represented, based entirely on the idiosyncratic personal vision of a director who thinks it would be great to have Superman be a murderer. Just as an example of something that, obviously, will never happen because Lucas' stupid prequels got made.
posted by The World Famous at 2:32 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


And Mon Mothma can be the granny, or maybe Celia Imrie from Phantom Menace? Or would she be old enough to be great grandma?
posted by biffa at 2:32 PM on April 7, 2016


That's one of the reasons I like the prequels. Nothing like that ever could have gotten out of a major studio blockbuster factory. For all their flaws, you will not again see an idiosyncratic personal vision like that executed on such a grand scale in a long, long time.

Looking back, the prequels kinda looked like Lucas was trying to bring some Dune level of political backroom intrigue, where the Trade Federation, the Republic and the Jedi were just prawns in his game. Little shrimp swimming around and waiting to be eaten by a big shark named Palpatine.
I can't fault him for trying to portray the rise of the Empire as both the reflection of an power-hungry senator and the corruption of the Republic. I can fault him for everything else after that. I think he wanted something with a more weight than a pulpy space opera, but lacked the talent to actually pull that one out, so he came up with with the "for children" bullshit, as an excuse to his own limitations.

Dunno, maybe. I don't hate the general plot points behind the prequels. It was the execution that was appallingly poor.
posted by lmfsilva at 2:38 PM on April 7, 2016 [6 favorites]


Don't think we haven't spotted your Mon Calamari hatespeech lmfsilva.
posted by biffa at 2:55 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


The entire set of prequels could have been redeemed had only the Obi-Wan / Anakin confrontation at the end kicked me in the feels as hard as it wanted to.

The pitch for my rewrite of Revenge of the Sith goes like this: it's like Lethal Weapon except Murtaugh has to kill Riggs at the end.
posted by Sauce Trough at 2:56 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


A Star Wars prequel? What could possibly go wrong?
posted by kirkaracha at 2:57 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


My god, why so many British actors, does Disney hate America?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:59 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


For you kids too young to remember, George Lucas used to make films.
posted by adept256 at 3:02 PM on April 7, 2016


Have they announced who's playing Manny Bothans?

Alan Tudyk. He dies heartbreaklingly (literally) towards the end.
posted by qcubed at 3:04 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


The pitch for my rewrite of Revenge of the Sith goes like this: it's like Lethal Weapon except Murtaugh has to kill Riggs at the end.

Wait, so who is the Joe Pesci character? Oh! I know:

"Theysa fuck yousen in da drive-thru-ey! Yousa hearin' meesa? Theysa fuck yousen in da drive-thru-ey! Okey-day, okey-day, okey-day."
posted by entropicamericana at 3:06 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


My rewrite for Revenge of the Sith keeps it the same as it is now, but with a Fight Club ending and Anakin/Padme were Tyler/Marla/Ferris/Sloane the whole time. Which also makes Obi Wan's "death" disappearing act in A New Hope make a lot more sense.
posted by The World Famous at 3:11 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Have they announced who's playing Manny Bothans?

I want you to know how much I respect that you did this.
posted by middleclasstool at 3:13 PM on April 7, 2016 [11 favorites]


Looking back, the prequels kinda looked like Lucas was trying to bring some Dune level of political backroom intrigue, where the Trade Federation, the Republic and the Jedi were just prawns in his game.

There's an episode of deep space nine where a teenager becomes queen of some planet or other and has to enter into trade negotiations with some other planet that thinks because she's a queen she'll be easy to push around. The teenage queen gets into a grump because no-one takes her seriously but finds a new found sense of purpose after befriending captain sisko's son and mucking a round for a bit and learning how to laugh again. Then she absolutely aces the trade negotiations and every one is happy.

Anyway I can only assume George watched this episode and loved it so much he decided to remake it.

Although there's also there's a bit where some of the crew fight a space cloud and defeat it by telling it fairy stories, but he must have decided to leave that out for some reason.
posted by dng at 3:15 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


It felt full of cliches to me

you can't cliché here it's the blockbuster room
posted by Sebmojo at 4:09 PM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


I'm also disappointed that Kyle Katarn and Jan Ors are bein written out of history. That being said, part of Jan Ors's backstory is that she was a former Imperial officer that defected to the rebel side, working as a spy for a while. Hoping something like that is part of this movie, explaining the shot of the new character in the Imperial uniform (as opposed to "dress up in the enemy uniform to infiltrate the base" which feels a bit cheap).
posted by clorox at 4:13 PM on April 7, 2016


"Theysa fuck yousen in da drive-thru-ey! Yousa hearin' meesa? Theysa fuck yousen in da drive-thru-ey! Okey-day, okey-day, okey-day."

I just had an image of Jar Jar smashing a landspeeder with a gaffi stick screaming "THEESA WHAT YOUSE GET WHEN YOUSE FUCK A STRANGER IN THE POODOO! THEESA WHAT YOUSE GET WHEN YOUSE FUCK A STRANGER IN THE POODOO!".

A fat Jawa watches, impassively.
posted by Sebmojo at 4:14 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is Donnie Yen a Jedi? He would make an excellent Jedi.
posted by LoveHam at 4:23 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I realized after I watched the trailer: There is no reason you couldn't have OG Vader in this movie. James Earl Jones is still very much alive, and all you need is his voice. That would be something.

CANNOT HANDLE IDEA OF

BRAIN OVERLOAD

TOO MUCH
posted by emptythought at 4:24 PM on April 7, 2016


all you need?

let's show a little love and respect for the physicality of David Prowse

Vader is JEJ's excellent voice work, but he is also the stiff, sinister way his body moves
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:27 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trailer looks great!
I do hope, however, that these one-off movies (SW Stories, I guess) don't begin with the iconic fanfare and text crawl. I think that should only be reserved for the saga installments.
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:33 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is Donnie Yen a Jedi? He would make an excellent Jedi.

Given the point in the Star Wars universe this story happens, there aren't any Jedis left. But he's definitely awesome.
posted by crossoverman at 4:40 PM on April 7, 2016


I do hope, however, that these one-off movies (SW Stories, I guess) don't begin with the iconic fanfare and text crawl.

Well, they won't have the fanfare (and TFA didn't) because they're not at 20th Century Fox.
posted by ocherdraco at 4:42 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Not the fanfare, then. I meant the famous Star Wars theme (with the horns and the strings and the GLAYVEN!)
posted by Atom Eyes at 4:57 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


It'll be the famous Star Wars theme, but played in the style of Ocean's Eleven electro jazz hop or whatever.

With rap lyrics by Lin-Manuel Miranda.
posted by The World Famous at 5:11 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Mon Mothma Prophecies.

I can't be the only one that kept seeing that when The Mothman Prophecies came out
posted by dirigibleman at 5:28 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Nerdist has a video breaking down the trailer.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:34 PM on April 7, 2016


While Wired has GIFs breaking down the trailer.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:54 PM on April 7, 2016


I feel like we're not far off from an R-rated Star Wars film, given the current climate. Which...I guess so?
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:16 PM on April 7, 2016


I feel like we're not far off from an R-rated Star Wars film, given the current climate.

Working title: Porkins'
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:20 PM on April 7, 2016 [16 favorites]


I like the youthfully-CGI'd Ian McKellen in the white cape. This is before he became bad Magneto.
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:21 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


PLEASEDON'TSUCKPLEASEDON'TSUCKPLEASEDON'TSUCKPLEASEDON'TSUCK
posted by rmd1023 at 6:22 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


After the rule 34 thread, I'm certain there are some fan-made films that go far past an r-rating.
posted by adept256 at 6:23 PM on April 7, 2016


The Mon Mothma Prophecies.

I can't be the only one that kept seeing that when The Mothman Prophecies came out


So, this is a text conversation I had earlier today...
posted by jason_steakums at 6:56 PM on April 7, 2016 [3 favorites]


Neither text, nor a conversation. Discuss.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:02 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


She's a Palpatine, btw.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:09 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


I mean I guess I could describe it as one small snippet of a mixed SMS and MMS conversation but that's a bit verbose for an excuse to bring up a silly Mon Mothma/Mothman joke coincidence?

Anyways new Star Wars yay! I was a little excited when I thought Forest Whitaker was wearing Kanan's shoulder armor from Rebels but unfortunately the pieces don't match (fortunately, I guess, if you hold out hope that somehow the Rebels characters survive).
posted by jason_steakums at 7:10 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Um, it's basically canon that Rex is at the Battle of Endor, so that's one.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 7:12 PM on April 7, 2016 [4 favorites]


Woah. That is awesome.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:14 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


Lucas: Okay. (shuffles off)

Like living in the same house as your ex until you've got money saved to get a place of your own, and she's always bringing other dudes home. Except instead of ex-girlfriends and other guys, for Lucas it's just a throat pouch, filling the entire atrium, with JJ Abrams bouncing on it.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:18 PM on April 7, 2016


Also, question: why do Storm Troopers bother wearing any armour at all? A ton of them just got ruined by a dude with a stick.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:27 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


> But where is Mads Mikkelson?

Am I 12 hours late to suggest that he's in the pantry?
posted by Horselover Fat at 7:29 PM on April 7, 2016 [10 favorites]


Also, question: why do Storm Troopers bother wearing any armour at all?

Because random Captains get pissed off if they so much as remove their helmet.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:43 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Storm Trooper armor is the one sci-fi armor suit that you can build at home to be exactly as useful and effective as it is in the movies. Anyway, the white armor is an adaption, like zebra stripes. Large herds of stormtroopers blend together and confuse rebels to make it difficult for them to pick a single target. This is also why stormtroopers don't walk in single file (unlike sandpeople).
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 7:45 PM on April 7, 2016 [7 favorites]


I feel like we're not far off from an R-rated Star Wars film, given the current climate.

Working title: Porkins'


He fixes the cable bombs the exhaust port?
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:27 PM on April 7, 2016


enough-already-with-the-pensive-piano-renderings-of-the-themes-ok-it's-lazy-arranging-guys-but-that's-my-only-gripe

Trailer Tropes - Slow Piano Music
posted by straight at 8:31 PM on April 7, 2016


Yeah, the new trailer looks good. It must be nice to see your franchise being rejuvenated after all the waiting and disappointments, with people who seem to be deeply familiar with the material, who understand it, respect it, and are doing their best to live up to its potential. That's got to be a good feeling. I'm happy for all you Star Wars fans, honest.

Sigh.
posted by KHAAAN! at 8:58 PM on April 7, 2016 [18 favorites]


The dream of all dreams: JJ Abrams calls Marcia Lucas out of retirement for one. last. job. in film editing.

Marcia strolls into Lucasfilm wearing mirrored sunglasses as gold as her Oscar; in the background plays her fanfare, an orchestral medley of the Imperial March and "The Bitch is Back."
posted by nicebookrack at 9:26 PM on April 7, 2016 [8 favorites]


Yeah, Abrams' clear understanding of what makes Star Wars good throws his complete obliviousness about Star Trek into sharp relief.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:29 PM on April 7, 2016 [5 favorites]


I am pretty squee right now but can we get some new leitmotifs please
posted by Standard Orange at 9:36 PM on April 7, 2016


After rewatching this 20 times in a row with my daughter:

GONK DROID IN YAVIN BASE

I AM FEELING VERY SERVICED RIGHT NOW
posted by GuyZero at 9:44 PM on April 7, 2016 [2 favorites]


Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon take a tour of the Hosnian system's best restaurants. After two hours of maudlin comedy, they look up to the sky at a peculiar red glow.

They could appear without makeup and people would still be all "hey a new alien species in the Star Wars universe!"

(I love Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon)
posted by turbid dahlia at 9:49 PM on April 7, 2016


Obi Wan cuts off an arm in the Cantina, there is blood.

So there is, I had forgotten the lingering shot of the arm on the floor.

(Wonder who got to keep that prop....)
posted by madajb at 11:35 PM on April 7, 2016 [1 favorite]


24 hours on, and I am still gob-smacked by the fact that Genevieve O'Reilly is playing Mon Mothma... again.
She seems perfect for the role.

I wonder if Palpetine's going to be in this. It has to be a given, no?
How about Jimmy Smits?

Is Donnie Yen's space samurai blind? (And, I would normally ask how he took out a group of heavily armed, armoured stormtroppers with a stick, but I have seen Star Wars before.)

Also, Young Lando (voiced by Billie Dee) and Young Leia (not voiced by Carrie) are in Rebels episodes if anyone doesn't know.
posted by Mezentian at 1:47 AM on April 8, 2016


Am I the only one squicked out by the 'she must be Rey's mom' stuff? Can't she be a character in her own right without having to do something with her ovaries?

'A second female lead in Star Wars can mean only one thing: insemination.'
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:11 AM on April 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Am I the only one squicked out by the 'she must be Rey's mom' stuff?

Squicked? I'd not go that far, but I do hate the idea (and it does seem, if Rey's parentage is the big mystery they want us to think, they'll handle it in the main movies), although I'd not be surprised if she was a bit character somewhere.
posted by Mezentian at 3:19 AM on April 8, 2016


Also, question: why do Storm Troopers bother wearing any armour at all?

Armour? Obviously not. Uniform? Sure. Maybe with some sort of breathing system in case of gas attack/sudden vacuum, and extra thick padding to protect against falls off catwalks without guardrails.

Or maybe it's enough to defend against blades and bullets, because nothing stops lasers?
posted by GhostintheMachine at 4:09 AM on April 8, 2016


The upcoming Han Solo movie is going to be the most scrutinized of the bunch, but if pulled off well, it's going to be great. Remember, the back story includes Lando and eventually winning from him the Falcon. So, if they want it to be, this could be the Lando movie as well.

I'm hoping they jettison the back story otherwise built for Han outside of the movies. The character was inspired by westerns. He's a cowboy. He rides the trusty Falcon with a buddy like they were on horseback, gets into fights in saloons and works outside of the law on the range, but has a good heart. He carries his trusty pistol on his hip, wears boots and a vest, and even has western pants. All he is missing is the hat.

But it's the pants that need some attention. Notice that yellow stripe down the side? Go watch some old John Wayne movies. Those pants are Calvary soldier pants (or Union pants), often worn to symbolize someone that fought in the Calvary (or the Union), but after the range wars (or Civil War) became a wandering cowboy. That's Han.

I always hoped they'd tell a Han backstory where he fought, perhaps in the Clone Wars, wearing those pants. He'd be Rick in Casablanca to a certain extent, or Mal from Firefly. There's so much they could do with that kind of backstory and it would explain his piloting and fighting skills, right along with him being a lovable, good-guy scoundrel.
posted by Muddler at 4:13 AM on April 8, 2016 [10 favorites]


Am I the only one squicked out by the 'she must be Rey's mom' stuff? Can't she be a character in her own right without having to do something with her ovaries?
Yeah, I mean, Star Wars has nothing to do with family ties and dynasties. Thank fuck no new characters in TFA is the offspring of characters from the original trilogy, or that is even brought up as a plot point. *rollseyes*

Or maybe it's enough to defend against blades and bullets, because nothing stops lasers?
Ewoks.
posted by lmfsilva at 4:17 AM on April 8, 2016


> "That means our heroine could have been moody teenaged Leia. ;-)"

YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD, BAIL ORGANA!

*tries to slam door*
*settles for making it slide shut really rapidly*
posted by kyrademon at 4:28 AM on April 8, 2016 [8 favorites]


*settles for making it slide shut really rapidly*

Coming soon on ABC's Freeform Alderaan Days .
posted by Mezentian at 4:39 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: It's the pants that need some attention.
posted by vanar sena at 5:54 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


I always hoped they'd tell a Han backstory where he fought, perhaps in the Clone Wars, wearing those pants. He'd be Rick in Casablanca to a certain extent, or Mal from Firefly. There's so much they could do with that kind of backstory and it would explain his piloting and fighting skills, right along with him being a lovable, good-guy scoundrel.

The Clone Wars are a bit far back, I think. Han is about 30 at the time of ANH.

However, and I'm dredging pretty far back into fuzzy memory here, I thought I remembered reading something a long time about about Han being a former Imperial officer, and that he left the service after rescuing Chewie.

That might be 100% fan theory, but I kind of like the idea.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:18 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


IIRC Han's brief stint in the Imperial starfleet was mentioned in the Zahn books, so it's a theory with formerly semi-canonical textual support.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:52 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I always hoped they'd tell a Han backstory where he fought, perhaps in the Clone Wars, wearing those pants.

Basically what I get from this is that Han Solo can't afford to buy new pants? I assumed that he'd just gotten a good deal on an old crate of Correllian military surplus uniform pants, and wore them because he thought they were suitably rakish.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:58 AM on April 8, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ah, that must be where I recall it from. I didn't get very far into the EU books, but I did quite enjoy the Heir to the Empire trilogy.
posted by Fleebnork at 6:58 AM on April 8, 2016


The pants are adorned with Corellian bloodstripes, for what it's worth.

...

At least that's what they were called in the old canon. I can't remember where that info came from, so I haven't a clue if it's still relevant. A glance at Wookiepedia indicates that no recent (i.e., new canon) sources have confirmed it - or at least been updated on the page.
posted by Atreides at 7:08 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Honestly, I can't tell what the timeline is in Star Wars anymore with the prequels. Presumably A New Hope picks up about 18 years after the last prequel, but if that's true, we have to presume it takes upwards of 20 years to build a death star. I don't see how that makes sense, particularly given a fully functional, if incomplete, death star appears again in Return of the Jedi. What, did they just get better at it? Have one in reserve? And where did the emperor get all those resources prior to taking total control such that he could build the first one relatively unnoticed - and keep it friggin' hidden for around 20 years?

All this leads me to say once again that the prequels all just take place inside some minor character's head. Porkins, I'm looking at you.

To be fair, one has to wonder just when The First Order started on their new, much bigger death planet (I refuse to call it anything else).
posted by Muddler at 7:13 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pablo Hidalgo actually answered the "how about that fast turn around?" question on twitter yesterday, noting that a lot of the effort with the first Death Star was just figuring out how to build it, comparing it to how long it took to build the first atom bomb and then how long to build the second.

It's been heavily implied, if not entirely stated, that a lot of resources for the first Death Star came from Geonosis, where its inhabitants were wiped out in a genocide perpetuated by the Empire to make it easier to mine (It was on Geonosis we first glimpse the Death Star design before Poggle the Elder (or whatever his name is) puts it on his galactic flash drive and hobbles away on his cane.). Likewise, in A New Dawn, a quite fun read, in my opinion, there's references made to the Empire pretty much doing everything it can to mine and collect the most common material used for starship construction.

So in short, they were able to use everything they knew from building the first to build a second, fully operational, Death Star in much quicker time. The Second Death Star was also intended to be bigger than the first, implying there were always plans for Death Star 2.0 and those plans may have been put in place even before Death Star 1.0 was blown up.
posted by Atreides at 7:20 AM on April 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Honestly, I can't tell what the timeline is in Star Wars anymore with the prequels.

Here you go.
posted by Fleebnork at 7:29 AM on April 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


Eventually there'll be a movie where the heroes slowly arc around a gas giant and discover a death star. Then another one a second later. Then ten more. Then there's just a cloud of them, like so much buckshot.

One of the characters will presumably have a bad feeling about it.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 7:31 AM on April 8, 2016 [4 favorites]


"Why build one when you can have two at twice the price?" I assume they built it from spares or test components, or started the second before the first was complete.
posted by beowulf573 at 7:35 AM on April 8, 2016


we have to presume it takes upwards of 20 years to build a death star.

It's basically a Dyson Sphere.
It takes 3 years to build a hospital.
Timeline kinds works.
posted by Mezentian at 7:42 AM on April 8, 2016


Ok, rambling a bit here, but stay with me. I'm thinking they infiltrate the Death Star, get the plans, things seem to be going well, then you hear those klaxons. The rebels scramble for their escape route, turn a corner, or open a door, and you see this.

Shit, RUN! Relentless Vader stalk down, picking them off one by one. Their blasters do nothing. Their thermal detonators do nothing. Slamming a hatch does nothing, as a red lightsaber blade slices through it.

I think it could be really great if Vader is used sparingly, yet intensely.
posted by Fleebnork at 8:30 AM on April 8, 2016 [6 favorites]


They knock that second one out in no time...
posted by Artw at 8:43 AM on April 8, 2016


Fleebnork: Shit, RUN! Relentless Vader stalk down, picking them off one by one. Their blasters do nothing. Their thermal detonators do nothing. Slamming a hatch does nothing, as a red lightsaber blade slices through it.

Sounds like a horror movie. "The klaxon is coming from inside the battle station!"

And yeah, the less you see of Vader, the more menacing he would be: "familiarity breeds contempt" and all that.
posted by wenestvedt at 9:02 AM on April 8, 2016


I think it could be really great if Vader is used sparingly, yet intensely.

This sums up how Vader was used in Season 2 of Star Wars: Rebels. He was dang terrifying.
posted by Atreides at 9:10 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


It must be nice to see your franchise being rejuvenated after all the waiting and disappointments
posted by KHAAAN!

Eponysterical! (1982 edition)
posted by Gelatin at 9:42 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


So I'm thinking that I should watch Star Wars: Rebels.
posted by octothorpe at 9:53 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


You so should. It starts a little slow but second season was great.
posted by Fleebnork at 9:56 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ok, rambling a bit here, but stay with me. I'm thinking they infiltrate the Death Star, get the plans, things seem to be going well, then you hear those klaxons. The rebels scramble for their escape route, turn a corner, or open a door, and you see this.

It was good for a moment... and then Vader failed to just kill them both very quickly after besting them, which really diminishes Vader IMHO, if he wants you dead you are dead. If you're going to escape after being thoroughly bested, he's just not that scary.

I just don't think this serie is a good fit for me (didn't like Clone Wars too), it's in the same universe, but the tone just doesn't fit the movies, which makes for a weird disconnect, these are not the same characters even though they try hard to make you think they are.

(And I'm way more excited that I thought I would be about Rogue One)
posted by coust at 10:09 AM on April 8, 2016


It was good for a moment... and then Vader failed to just kill them both very quickly after besting them, which really diminishes Vader IMHO, if he wants you dead you are dead. If you're going to escape after being thoroughly bested, he's just not that scary.

Well yeah, but Rebels is still a kids' show, so they can't just off the main characters.

The point I was making for Rogue One is they do a similar big Vader thing and he destroys them, with perhaps only one or two of the team escaping to deliver the plans to their Alliance contact. I think it could be legit scary and tense.

Sorry Rebels isn't to your taste. I've quite enjoyed it.
posted by Fleebnork at 10:13 AM on April 8, 2016


Well yeah, but Rebels is still a kids' show, so they can't just off the main characters.

The point I was making for Rogue One is they do a similar big Vader thing and he destroys them, with perhaps only one or two of the team escaping to deliver the plans to their Alliance contact. I think it could be legit scary and tense.

Sorry Rebels isn't to your taste. I've quite enjoyed it.


I know, I know, you can't do that in a kids' show. I've tried, but I just can't get into it.

But I agree with you, that could be a very good moment if played well.

Also, RotS pretty much killed vader with that ridiculous 'nnnnnoooooooooooooooo' at the end, but I'm pretending this didn't happen. So whatever Rebels does, it's still not worse than RotS.
posted by coust at 10:16 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


I am hoping that, at the end of this movie, Mon Mothma gives marching orders to R2-D2 and Chewbacca, thereby confirming this excellent fan theory.

Also, any chance that Ahsoka Tano will be in this? If so, my son will absolutely lose his mind.
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 10:44 AM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's easier if you realize there have only been 4 Star Wars films so far.

Force Awakens was a welcome return to form after the slightly disappointing Return of the Jedi. They knew they had to make Star Wars awesome again and not go further down the path of Ewok silliness.
posted by straight at 11:40 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


That fan theory was a fun read, thanks.
posted by Fleebnork at 11:40 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, any chance that Ahsoka Tano will be in this? If so, my son will absolutely lose his mind.

At best, we might get a Fulcrum reference, but I'm wagering Ahsoka Tano is going to be MIA for a while again. I would get a big kick if any of the Rebels characters get a name drop or something, but it's entirely possible the show just isn't on the radar off the people behind the story and script. I don't see any connection of them to any of the animated shows, for example.

Also, RotS pretty much killed vader with that ridiculous 'nnnnnoooooooooooooooo' at the end, but I'm pretending this didn't happen. So whatever Rebels does, it's still not worse than RotS.

That....was awful. I felt as if Rebels, the first Star Wars franchise to significantly use Vader (outside of the books/comic books) has helped the character recover from that decision. But, it's also why I have never bothered to buy the official blu-rays for the Original Trilogy. Lucas went back and added a "Nnnooooooooo!" to RTOJ to match it up with RTOS...and well, NO. NO LUCAS.

Rebels is a family show and tastes definitely differ, but I will say at least in terms of televised animation, the show is incredible. Not since Legend of Korra went off the air has there been an animated television show that pushes the boundaries in directing, framing, and production. It's pretty amazing at times.

Here's a Rogue One question: In the group of X-wing pilots walking just ahead of Felicity Jones(1 minute mark), the pilot in front has the helmet of Red Four from A New Hope. I wonder if that's part of Red Squadron (though, Red Squadron could be all the X-wings at the base).
posted by Atreides at 11:43 AM on April 8, 2016


But, it's also why I have never bothered to buy the official blu-rays for the Original Trilogy. Lucas went back and added a "Nnnooooooooo!" to RTOJ to match it up with RTOS...and well, NO. NO LUCAS.

Same. I have the Despecialized Editions for my OT. If Disney can somehow manage to release the OT theatrical cuts on blu-ray, they can have my money.
posted by Fleebnork at 11:46 AM on April 8, 2016 [1 favorite]


Naberius: "Matt Damn" is totally going to be my punk rocker alter ego by the way.

Will you perform Scotty Doesn't Know?
posted by hanov3r at 12:52 PM on April 8, 2016


Now that Lucas' artistic vision has been bought out and excised I have to believe it's only a matter of time before Blu-ray theatrical versions appear. What I'm curious about is how long until Disney releases edited Special Editions of the prequel trilogy.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 12:53 PM on April 8, 2016


The issue with re-releasing the OT is the legal issues with 20th Century Fox, who own distribution rights to Ep4. Of course, the potential buckets of cash might persuade them.

If they can make a prequel edit that's palatable I might consider having them under my roof instead of denying their existence.
posted by Fleebnork at 1:00 PM on April 8, 2016


The issue with re-releasing the OT is the legal issues with 20th Century Fox, who own distribution rights to Ep4. Of course, the potential buckets of cash might persuade them.

I can't believe the buckets of money won't convince someone to finally make this happen. I'll be frustrated if we have to wait another year for the 40th Anniversary or something. Okay, I could probably survive another year if I knew for a fact that they would be coming out and it does seem that the anniversary of the theatrical release would be a great time to release the theatrical release.
posted by Atreides at 2:14 PM on April 8, 2016


Yeah, Fox getting another chance to sell people the Star Wars films again seems like it would be persuasive. And the 40th. Your supposition seems like it would make good business sense.
posted by Fleebnork at 4:43 PM on April 8, 2016


Anyone know why they don't release the 3d versions for home? I have a giant 3d capable TV for some reason.
posted by Drinky Die at 4:53 PM on April 8, 2016


Easter Eggs from the trailer. Mostly stuff talked about here, but a few things that were new to me.
posted by Mezentian at 9:19 PM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


I absolutely predict a despecialed but remastered cinema release of the OT will occur at some point, probably after the sequels calm down.
posted by Artw at 10:40 PM on April 8, 2016


The pants are adorned with Corellian bloodstripes, for what it's worth.

...which are not given out for perfect attendance.

The Corellian Bloodstripe was first mentioned in Brian Daley's Han Solo Adventures (in Lost Legacy, I believe). If you have not read them, you should. They started coming out in 1979 before Star Wars became a soap opera, and they're more canon than the prequels. (Shut up.)
posted by The Tensor at 11:29 PM on April 8, 2016 [2 favorites]


Han Solo At Star's End mentions them first.

And, I have to say, I was not a huge fan of that particular book. It didn't feel quite like Han or Star Wars.
Of course, back then there was the one movie, so, I can't fault Daley for that.
posted by Mezentian at 3:32 AM on April 9, 2016


The Daley books feel mostly like classic space adventure with a Star Wars veneer. Replace tailsitter rocket with Millenium Falcon, Chewie as alien sidekick, rotating cast of aliens and robots. Still fun, though.
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:43 AM on April 9, 2016




A 501st member examines the trailer for armor details.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:12 AM on April 10, 2016 [2 favorites]


*nerd love*
Stay awesome, 501st.
posted by rmd1023 at 8:01 AM on April 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


Anyone know why they don't release the 3d versions for home? I have a giant 3d capable TV for some reason.


I have bad news for you. 3D tv is basically dead.
posted by GuyZero at 8:47 AM on April 10, 2016




Id love to see that in the next one.

"What is the point of this?!"

Beat

"Y'know, I never did find out. Now flip."
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:08 PM on April 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Mary Sue's take on the trailer (Vid and transcript.)
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:50 PM on April 10, 2016 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one squicked out by the 'she must be Rey's mom' stuff? Can't she be a character in her own right without having to do something with her ovaries?

It's bad and dumb because it's terrible goddam storytelling to have every single character in a film in 2016 somehow tied back into two hours of cheesy pulp from the 70s, but it's reaching to put a gender lens on it.

In any case Rey's parentage had FUTURE PLOT ELEMENT stamped all over it, so her mum's got to be someone that fans will recognise.
posted by Sebmojo at 6:22 PM on April 10, 2016


She definitely doesn't have to be Rey's mom. She looks like she's got a fair bit going on already without worrying about birthing the Jedi's last best hope or whatever. But as to the point about Rey's parents needing to be recognizable to fans, once this movie hits theaters every character in it will be recognizable to fans. That widens the pool of potential characters that could sire Rey and maybe gives them a way out of the "everybody's a Skywalker" trap.
posted by wabbittwax at 7:43 PM on April 10, 2016


"Now flip."
posted by Mezentian at 3:25 AM on April 11, 2016 [3 favorites]


I love that photo and all the iterations that are slowly permeating the internet.

The whole thing with Jyn and Rey also kind of reminds me how a lot of people immediately want Finn to be Lando's kid.
posted by Atreides at 1:46 PM on April 11, 2016


The thing about Finn and Lando is that they don't look anything alike, unless they are being seen through the eyes of people who are terrible cliches.

Jyn and Rey on the other hand have similar noses, eyes, and mouths, and that's not even getting into the hair color*. All of which makes it seem like a weird casting/costuming choice if they aren't related.

Storywise, LandoBegetsFinn doesn't make a ton of sense because nothing about Finn's background is presented as a mystery. Yeah, he doesn't know who his parents were either, but it's made pretty explicit that that's just how stormtroopers work. To go looking for some connection between the only two black characters in the movies we are willing to acknowledge (Mace Windu is disqualified by the prequels, and the whole Jedi don't have kids thing), is a little *ahem* cliched.

JynBegetsRey, on the other hand, is at least set up for us in the story in that Rey's parents are absolutely a mystery that Episode 7 "promises" that the series would solve. The strength of that "promise" is in question, of course, because [J.J. Abrams, Lost, etc.]

I get why it could be disappointing to be introduced to a supposedly badass female character, and have her reduced to the contents of her uterus. Especially since the precedent for that was Padme Amidala who should have been amazing but really wasn't anything except for a receptacle for Vader-seed. But just because giving birth is part of a character's story, it doesn't follow that the character needs to be only, or even primarily, about who the character's children are. I'm choosing to have enough faith in the filmmakers to believe that they can pull off Jyn as an interesting character regardless of "destiny."**

*haha... research is showing me that the vast majority of human women in a galaxy far, far, away have brown hair. Like, you could make make a "sandy blonde" argument for young Beru Lars but her hair was definitely darker than Bonnie Pleisse seems to wear it. And there's Mon Mothma I guess, but there's this.

**Not that there aren't all kinds of terrible ways that it could go: for example, I can't think of an Erso + Palpatine == Rey scenario that wouldn't be rapey
posted by sparklemotion at 3:05 PM on April 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


The whole thing with Jyn and Rey also kind of reminds me how a lot of people immediately want Finn to be Lando's kid.

Yeah, it frustrates me a bit and is the prime way that the Star Wars universe is made to feel "small". Finn was FN-2187 and has taken the name Finn. He's an orphan, free to make his own story from here. Rey is in a largely similar place (or should be) but all the hints and the trappings of the story make it apparent that her parentage is important in a way that Finn's isn't, and the intent sure appears to be that she is a Skywalker, which I'm hoping they may be reconsidering. I mean, answer the question of her parentage, but it would be nice to get away from this family line business* and just have characters be people who came into the story from somewhere else.

*The fact that Force ability seems to be so strongly genetic/inheritable has me wondering why the Jedi, in all their wisdom during the glory of the Old Republic, were so set against Jedi falling in love and having children.
posted by nubs at 3:24 PM on April 11, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well, that's how you get Skywalkers, and you know what a problem they can be
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:25 PM on April 11, 2016 [7 favorites]


Maybe if more Jedi than the Skywalkers were getting busy, they wouldn't be such a problem.
posted by nubs at 4:52 PM on April 11, 2016


Search yousa feelings. Yousa know its true!
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:04 PM on April 11, 2016


I mean, if you accept the story of Anakin's conception, even the Force itself was not above getting busy.
posted by nubs at 5:29 PM on April 11, 2016 [1 favorite]


The strength of that "promise" is in question, of course, because [J.J. Abrams, Lost, etc.]

This point comes up from time to time, and it bears mentioning that he had essentially nothing to do with the show after the first season other than his name being on it. He wrote/directed the pilot and produced...not even the full season, I think. Then he was on to movies. Lost's direction or lack thereof is strictly a Lindelof issue.
posted by middleclasstool at 6:19 AM on April 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Speaking at the MTV Movie awards, Daisy Ridley flatly denied theories that Rogue One’s Jyn Erso is Rey’s mother:I’m not being funny you guys, but just because she’s white and got brown hair, it doesn’t mean she’s my mom.

Admittedly, that's somewhere on the denial scale with "Luke and Leia aren't siblings, now kiss" or "John Harrison isn't Khan in Star Trek 2, we promise", and I fully expect Daisy doesn't know the script-truth, but we can use it to shut down debate, right?
posted by Mezentian at 7:00 AM on April 12, 2016 [3 favorites]


but we can use it to shut down debate, right?

Sounds good to me. I really want to talk about how Forest Whitacker's character is the Star Wars Universe's first FTM trans character who eventually meets and falls in love with (the naturally pansexual) Lando Calrissian. As it's clear that the Empire is dying, the two decide to start a family (Forest's character is grateful that he chose not to have bottom surgery). Their bliss is short-lived however, because an ambitious First Order lieutenant chooses Lando's name out of a rolodex of people who had wronged the emperor and targets the Calrissians for elimination. The raid happens right before dinner -- Lando is putting the finishing touches on his famous dewback ribs when he hears the electric hum of a landing transport. Lando turns to chide his husband for not warning them that there would be company when the first shots cry out. It takes a lot of shots (stormtroopers, AMIRITE) but the adults are both mortally wounded. The parents cry out their love for their young son with their dying breaths before the boy, barely more than a toddler, is whisked away to the transport and branded with the serial number FN-2187.

/headcanon.
posted by sparklemotion at 7:38 AM on April 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Just so long as nobody time travels.
posted by Artw at 8:07 AM on April 12, 2016 [2 favorites]


Star Wars saves the time travel for the user end. It makes you believe you've traveled back to however long it takes to be a 12 year old.
posted by Atreides at 8:40 AM on April 12, 2016 [5 favorites]


Just so long as nobody time travels.

I'd love to see someone work up a Star Wars timeline based on the implications of occasional light-speed travel, making calculations based on the amount of screen time such travel receives at various points in the story.
posted by The World Famous at 11:41 AM on April 12, 2016


The Team Behind the Rogue One Trailer Trolls the Internet With Their Own Reaction Trailer

I know "reaction" videos are a thing for self-absorbed Gen Y, maybe, but, this is pretty neat, exactly when I asked myself multiple time was Tatiana isn't Jen.
posted by Mezentian at 7:26 AM on April 23, 2016 [1 favorite]


Okay, I take back the Gen Y snark, because OMG if people praised my work at a fraction of that.... I would be a different person.
posted by Mezentian at 7:35 AM on April 23, 2016


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