People Who Write Theatre Reviews Are Very Easily Provoked
April 15, 2016 5:36 AM   Subscribe

 
Some favorite comments I have received about my plays:

"It was like a fork in the eye."

[My spouse's parents quietly pull my spouse aside after the show and ask:] "Is there ... anything you need to tell us? About Kyra?"
posted by kyrademon at 5:49 AM on April 15, 2016 [13 favorites]


Unlike screenwriters, who are paid grand sums to write the script but let everyone else redo it, playwrights are in charge.

Ooooh, this is false. The director is in charge.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 6:26 AM on April 15, 2016


No. The playwright is in charge if they're living. Nobody can make significant changes to a script without the playwrights say-so, and if they do so, the playwright can pull permission for the play's production.

Sometimes the director think they are in charge, and go ahead and make massive changes anyway. Sometimes they get away with it, because the playwright doesn't know their rights or what is going on, or because the playwright doesn't want to go nuclear on this particular production. But professional contracts make it absolutely clear that this is the playwright's play, and that must be respected.
posted by maxsparber at 6:38 AM on April 15, 2016 [13 favorites]


Shorter version: go ahead and try to do your all male version of Albee's Virginia Woolf and you'll learn in a big damn hurry who is boss.
posted by maxsparber at 6:43 AM on April 15, 2016 [9 favorites]


Ooooh, this is false. The director is in charge.

It's a bad choice of wording, but who is in charge of the room isn't the point being made here. Legally, if a theatre director wants to change the script of a play, they have to get the playwrights' permission to do so. That simply isn't true with film. I know that some directors make changes and hope not to get caught, but it's not an okay business practice. I've seen the major fall outs that happen when they get caught.

Or upon preview, what maxsparber said.

This article has been doing the rounds on my facebook page and mostly we're all quoting this bit: "Most plays produced are by white men named David because that’s how America is. In discussions about how to change this, some guy will invariably say in a cautionary tone “a play must be judged on its merits alone,” and it’s very awkward for everyone involved because… Yikes, David. Did you think white privilege was a merit-based system?"

I feel that so much of my life in this profession is a variation on Yikes, David.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 6:43 AM on April 15, 2016 [9 favorites]


I'm basically David and I'm sick of myself. I've only been seeing plays written by women or POC for the last year, and, this being Omaha, it actually means I haven't been seeing many plays.
posted by maxsparber at 6:46 AM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]


And Krya -- playwright solidarity hug?

My favorite off response to my work happened when I was in college. My play had been chosen to be that year's new play development production and overall it was a fantastic experience. However, I had one older male professor who was always really patronizing in class and didn't think much of the creative abilities of female artists. (He was teaching directing. To a class of nine female students and one male student. He also was not as mentally sharp as he used to be, so we mostly felt sorry for him.) The class after he saw my play he came up to me with an expression of great pride -- and told me that my play was "almost touching." He said it in this tone of wonder and amazement, as if he was giving me the greatest of praise.

I thought it was hilarious then and I still think it's hilarious now. Yes, women, even young women, can write plays that can almost make you feel things. Almost.
posted by JustKeepSwimming at 6:53 AM on April 15, 2016 [12 favorites]


An audience member once told me that the show I'd written and directed reminded her of the theatricals they put on in the bomb shelter during the Blitz. To this day I have no idea if that was a compliment or not.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:43 AM on April 15, 2016 [12 favorites]


My very first play, I directed and produced myself, and invited the press to come see it. My one and only Boston paper theater review (in the Boston Phoenix) compared my play to the sinking of the Titanic. "Do you admire the musicians on the Titanic for playing while the boat sank? If so, would you stay aboard to hear them play?" I LOVE THAT LINE! I had that review framed and hung on my wall for a very long time.
posted by xingcat at 8:02 AM on April 15, 2016 [7 favorites]


How many playwrights are on MetaFilter? I'm thrilled!
posted by maxsparber at 8:03 AM on April 15, 2016


It's a bit off-topic, but if I were to produce a musical about life in a hardscrabble Southern Ontario steel town, and name it after said town, would I be immediately sued, or would people just throw rocks at me in the street?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:29 AM on April 15, 2016 [3 favorites]


I always remember Alan Bennet's advice on what to say when calling backstage after a truly terrible play: "Darling, good isn't the word!"
posted by Paul Slade at 9:24 AM on April 15, 2016 [5 favorites]


It's a bit off-topic, but if I were to produce a musical about life in a hardscrabble Southern Ontario steel town, and name it after said town, would I be immediately sued...

Just put an exclamation point at the end, and you're covered.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:36 AM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


How does a trade port steel town, built by the son of a
Scotsman, dropped at the bottom of a
Forgotten spot on Lake Ontario by providence,
Industrial, blue-collar,
Expand to harbor fishing ships and trawlers?

The ninth largest metropolis by population
Got a lot larger thanks to the migration
Of people from all nations
All fleeing from privation
In '14, this sanctuary city
Fought all deportation!

Hamilton, Ontario
Its name is Hamilton, Ontario
And there’s a million reasons not to go
But just you wait, just you wait ...
posted by kyrademon at 9:47 AM on April 15, 2016 [23 favorites]


God damn it. Once again, my plans for a play about George Hamilton will probably need to be put on hold.

I was pissed enough when someone made a film about his childhood relationship with his mother. (Real film. The fact of it also submarines me making jokes about dramatizing the George Hamilton story, because it's actually possible.)
posted by maxsparber at 9:52 AM on April 15, 2016


It's a bit off-topic, but if I were to produce a musical about life in a hardscrabble Southern Ontario steel town, and name it after said town, would I be immediately sued, or would people just throw rocks at me in the street?

Burlington?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:13 AM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


We currently have an ongoing dust-up on our local theatre page between a community reviewer and a local playwright which you can read here if you're interested. This site almost never produces even mildly negative reviews because this is a very small community with a very long memory and most of the reviewers want to audition again someday.
posted by Joey Michaels at 10:44 AM on April 15, 2016


How does the urbane, dashing, son Anne Hamilton
Spalding, dragged through the middle of
America by his mother with his brother,
Impoverished, a zero,
Grow up to play both vampires and heroes?

A self-tanning A-list actor like no other,
He starred as both Zorro and Zorro's gay brother;
One film after another
With talent you couldn't smother --
And at twelve, he had a weird affair with his
Own stepmother.

George Stevens Hamilton
His name is George Stevens Hamilton
He sure looks like he gets a lot of sun
He's not "the late", he's still great ...
posted by kyrademon at 10:55 AM on April 15, 2016 [12 favorites]


> "We currently have an ongoing dust-up on our local theatre page between a community reviewer and a local playwright ..."

Oof. A number of the reviewer's criticisms are decidedly odd, but the playwright is not coming off well in the comments there, in my opinion. Even taking into consideration that Honolulu theater reviews can sometimes be a frustrating thing. When I was living there, I once got a review for one of my shows that did not mention my name (I was the playwright), or the name of the director, or the names of half the cast including one of the leads. Nor was there any indication that any of these people existed. This was not atypical.
posted by kyrademon at 11:34 AM on April 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Even taking into consideration that Honolulu theater reviews can sometimes be a frustrating thing.

Yeah - the issue with that website seems to be that the only threshold you need to pass to write reviews is that you answer "yes" to the questions "do you want to write reviews?" In essence, anyone can write them. There are many theatre people (myself included) who take umbrage at the suggestion that a person with no prior theatre experience can walk in off the street and know everything about theatre. We do, however, seem to believe that anyone can write reviews. Honolulu media has, over the years, demonstrated that we believe this again and again by assigning less and less qualified people to review local theatre productions.

To whit, just having an opinion doesn't make you a qualified critic.

the playwright is not coming off well in the comments there, in my opinion

The positive thing is that this is the most impassioned discussion of the role of theatre and the role of the critic that I've seen anywhere in Honolulu media in at least a decade. One hopes that this will lead to both critics and theatre people engaging in some introspection and, ideally, emerging with plans on how to raise their game.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:13 PM on April 15, 2016


As a former critic, I'm always fine with people calling a critic out in public. Man, do we deserve it. But I think you're right in pointing out, Joey, that the real issue isn't with the critic, but with a editorial department who doesn't take arts criticism seriously enough to find a qualified someone to do the job.

That being said, it's sort of hard to scream at an editorial staff. I mean, unless you're actually a critic, like I was, in which case you just storm in like Woodward and Bernstein and say, god damn it, I have to chase down this lead, and unless you support me, I'm going to the Daily Mail, and then they laugh at you.
posted by maxsparber at 12:31 PM on April 15, 2016 [2 favorites]


Regarding the delightful original link, though:

A play is a screaming book.

Oh holy cats yes, this is exactly right.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:47 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


I love, love, love working with theater people. The most rewarding experience of my professional career was when my first novel was made into a play. Everything about the process was wonderful, and I learned a lot about art in general and theater in particular. I also learned a lot about my own book and myself as a writer. That said, I don't think I could ever work in theater, as a playwright or anything else. It just seems like a hothouse of anxiety, where instead of heat they have stress. I doff my cap to all you playwrights. I'm glad you're out there.

And not me.

Don't make me go out there.

posted by Kattullus at 2:58 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]


(I swear this is the absolute last one. I was given a request for this one over chat. Apologies in advance.)

Why does a self-taught linguist, learning his Persian and
Coptic, drop that to muddle with a
Forgotten branch of the mechanics of the optic?
This Hibernian would journey on
To Trinity just to invent quaternions.

His new mission, and his ambition as a mathematician --
To use his position to be a theoretician.
So he wrote a disquisition
About optical transmission
Which gets used for everything from quantum math
To photofission.

William Rowan Hamilton.
My name is William Rowan Hamilton.
The operator named for what I’ve done
Generates quantum states ...
posted by kyrademon at 4:32 AM on April 16, 2016 [5 favorites]


George Stevens Hamilton
William Rowan Hamilton.

Hamiltons: 2 Types Of Hamil10
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:06 AM on April 17, 2016 [2 favorites]


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