"Why"
April 15, 2016 3:07 PM Subscribe
"I met Steve while volunteering at a Challenged Athletes Clinic in Boston back in September of 2013. But Steve didn’t seem to want to be there. Everything about his body language said, “Don’t talk to me.” His beard needed trimming, his arms were crossed, and he stood as far from the center of activity as possible. And who could blame him? How would you feel if you lost your leg 5 months earlier as a spectator at the finish line of the Boston Marathon?"
Related: Martin Richard’s Legacy Lives On Through Challenger Sports Program
"Adrianne Haslet-Davis, the professional ballroom dancer who lost part of her leg three years ago today in the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings, next week will become the first bombing survivor to run the storied race."
Related: Martin Richard’s Legacy Lives On Through Challenger Sports Program
"Adrianne Haslet-Davis, the professional ballroom dancer who lost part of her leg three years ago today in the 2013 Boston Marathon bombings, next week will become the first bombing survivor to run the storied race."
Monday is the race, but today is the third anniversary of the bombing. They're starting to call this day "One Boston Day", or at least they're trying to start calling it that.
I received an email today that our hospital would be observing a moment of silence at 2:49PM, to mark the moment. I left work early and forgot about that but I had a few minutes before I was to catch my train so I walked into a Starbucks, one located about 100 yards from the finish line. I didn't realize I walked in at exactly at 2:49PM. I was hushed as soon as I walked in the door and the entire store was frozen and silent. It was kind of strange.
The strangest thing about the bombing sites is that there's nothing strange about the bombing sites. If you didn't know where to look you would have no idea what happened there. Once in a while someone puts a flower down but for the most part they are unmarked. This was not 9/11, we don't have a big hole in the middle of the city, just a weird feeling because someone took a big steaming dump on something so special to us.
I love the race. It runs through my town and I've been watching it since I was a kid. I love driving on the route the weekend before, with runners taking their final practice runs and all the porta-potties, camera platforms, and water stations laid out ahead of time. I always get their early to see the Wheelchair group go by, even though it's then over an hour wait for the first pack of women, and then a bit more for the lead men. The leaders are fun to see but what I really love is the PACK. A solid, miles-long mass of people of all shapes and colors. Almost all of them smiling. Everyone with a different story. Everyone with a different t-shirt. It's a 26 mile long party. 2014 was an especially amazing year because everyone, runners and spectators, were determined to take the day back. We did.
There's a lot of great stories like these, about people coming back from their injuries after the bombing. Some of the victims have become local celebrities. I worry about the people we don't hear about, the people who didn't adapt. There were over a hundred people who lost limbs. Over a hundred. Because of those two assholes with their pressure cookers and fireworks.
posted by bondcliff at 3:48 PM on April 15, 2016 [29 favorites]
I received an email today that our hospital would be observing a moment of silence at 2:49PM, to mark the moment. I left work early and forgot about that but I had a few minutes before I was to catch my train so I walked into a Starbucks, one located about 100 yards from the finish line. I didn't realize I walked in at exactly at 2:49PM. I was hushed as soon as I walked in the door and the entire store was frozen and silent. It was kind of strange.
The strangest thing about the bombing sites is that there's nothing strange about the bombing sites. If you didn't know where to look you would have no idea what happened there. Once in a while someone puts a flower down but for the most part they are unmarked. This was not 9/11, we don't have a big hole in the middle of the city, just a weird feeling because someone took a big steaming dump on something so special to us.
I love the race. It runs through my town and I've been watching it since I was a kid. I love driving on the route the weekend before, with runners taking their final practice runs and all the porta-potties, camera platforms, and water stations laid out ahead of time. I always get their early to see the Wheelchair group go by, even though it's then over an hour wait for the first pack of women, and then a bit more for the lead men. The leaders are fun to see but what I really love is the PACK. A solid, miles-long mass of people of all shapes and colors. Almost all of them smiling. Everyone with a different story. Everyone with a different t-shirt. It's a 26 mile long party. 2014 was an especially amazing year because everyone, runners and spectators, were determined to take the day back. We did.
There's a lot of great stories like these, about people coming back from their injuries after the bombing. Some of the victims have become local celebrities. I worry about the people we don't hear about, the people who didn't adapt. There were over a hundred people who lost limbs. Over a hundred. Because of those two assholes with their pressure cookers and fireworks.
posted by bondcliff at 3:48 PM on April 15, 2016 [29 favorites]
I'm uncomfortable with the author's treatment of Steve. Over and over, the author remarks on Steve's anger, sadness, and discomfort as if they're nuisances and inappropriate. The author only expresses his approval of Steve at the end, when Steve finds some peace. The judgement made me feel yucky. Surviving a traumatic event and coping with a new disability is a process, not a performance. There's no way to do it right.
It's okay if some of the survivors of the bombing still haven't adapted to their injuries. Integrating a differently abled body into one's identity takes a while for some. That doesn't make them weak or lesser than, just a part of the spectrum of human experience.
posted by batbat at 3:56 PM on April 15, 2016 [42 favorites]
It's okay if some of the survivors of the bombing still haven't adapted to their injuries. Integrating a differently abled body into one's identity takes a while for some. That doesn't make them weak or lesser than, just a part of the spectrum of human experience.
posted by batbat at 3:56 PM on April 15, 2016 [42 favorites]
It does sound like Steve has read and greenlit the story.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 4:10 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 4:10 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
From the article: “The only disability is a negative attitude”
Ugh.
If this mindset works for you, great. But don't pretend like it's true for everyone. Some disabilities are truly disabling and it's insulting to pretend that everything can be overcome.
posted by paulcole at 5:34 PM on April 15, 2016 [36 favorites]
Ugh.
If this mindset works for you, great. But don't pretend like it's true for everyone. Some disabilities are truly disabling and it's insulting to pretend that everything can be overcome.
posted by paulcole at 5:34 PM on April 15, 2016 [36 favorites]
We finished our beers and he reminded me that it was his turn to pick up the tab. Not cool. How could I let a hero like Steve buy me lunch? But he insisted. He wants no sympathy, no special treatment. He just wants to keep moving forward.
“So can we go for a run together soon?” he asked. (Who the hell are you and does anyone else know how inspiring you are?) “Umm, yeah. Actually, hell yes.” And then we parted company but only until our running date.
Again, worth repeating, just as a frame to read this through:
The late Stella Young: "We're not here for your inspiration" (previously).
See also:
Inspiration porn and the objectification of disability: Stella Young at TEDxSydney 2014
(previously here)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:41 PM on April 15, 2016 [21 favorites]
“So can we go for a run together soon?” he asked. (Who the hell are you and does anyone else know how inspiring you are?) “Umm, yeah. Actually, hell yes.” And then we parted company but only until our running date.
Again, worth repeating, just as a frame to read this through:
The late Stella Young: "We're not here for your inspiration" (previously).
See also:
Inspiration porn and the objectification of disability: Stella Young at TEDxSydney 2014
(previously here)
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:41 PM on April 15, 2016 [21 favorites]
If this mindset works for you, great. But don't pretend like it's true for everyone. Some disabilities are truly disabling and it's insulting to pretend that everything can be overcome.
That was my read - everything about this (esp., for some reason, him referring to his son as "little dude") suggested to me that the author is well-meaning but shallow and emotionally immature.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:24 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
That was my read - everything about this (esp., for some reason, him referring to his son as "little dude") suggested to me that the author is well-meaning but shallow and emotionally immature.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:24 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
Steve told me he probably lost 10 years of his life when he lifted up the cover of the stroller to see if his son had survived the blast.
A horror novel, all in one sentence. Fiction has nothing on life.
posted by Dashy at 6:52 PM on April 15, 2016 [11 favorites]
A horror novel, all in one sentence. Fiction has nothing on life.
posted by Dashy at 6:52 PM on April 15, 2016 [11 favorites]
I wish the author had let Steve tell his story somewhere in this article. I didn't feel like I heard from Steve much at all.
posted by juliplease at 6:59 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by juliplease at 6:59 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
“The only disability is a negative attitude”
Ouch. That thing is so peak platitude that I really hope that for Mr Hamilton's sake that it is taken out of a bigger context, but my attempts to google up a full quote just ended in a swamp of motivational posters. The one that said
“The only disability in life is a bad attitude. -Scott Hamilton” ― Scott Hamilton
was a bit funny, though.
posted by effbot at 7:00 PM on April 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
Ouch. That thing is so peak platitude that I really hope that for Mr Hamilton's sake that it is taken out of a bigger context, but my attempts to google up a full quote just ended in a swamp of motivational posters. The one that said
“The only disability in life is a bad attitude. -Scott Hamilton” ― Scott Hamilton
was a bit funny, though.
posted by effbot at 7:00 PM on April 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
I wish the author had let Steve tell his story somewhere in this article. I didn't feel like I heard from Steve much at all.
That really pinpoints the problem for me. Steve is totally an object in this story, there to prove the writer's somewhat nebulous virtue. *grumble*
posted by restless_nomad at 7:37 PM on April 15, 2016 [10 favorites]
That really pinpoints the problem for me. Steve is totally an object in this story, there to prove the writer's somewhat nebulous virtue. *grumble*
posted by restless_nomad at 7:37 PM on April 15, 2016 [10 favorites]
> There were over a hundred people who lost limbs. Over a hundred
The article says there were 17. What's the distinction?
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:34 PM on April 15, 2016
The article says there were 17. What's the distinction?
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:34 PM on April 15, 2016
- Steve may not want, or may not be ready to, share his private medical ordeal with the general public
- Steve may be saving it for his biography
- Steve's right to privacy trumps your curiosity
- Steve is under no obligation to serve as your personal inspiration (unless he wants to, of course)
posted by Soliloquy at 8:50 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
- Steve may be saving it for his biography
- Steve's right to privacy trumps your curiosity
- Steve is under no obligation to serve as your personal inspiration (unless he wants to, of course)
posted by Soliloquy at 8:50 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Oh, my objection isn't so much that Steve didn't share enough, it's that the author wrote an article about him with, apparently, Steve not being interested in sharing (and the author not seeming all that interested in Steve as a human.)
posted by restless_nomad at 8:53 PM on April 15, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 8:53 PM on April 15, 2016 [6 favorites]
I would have liked to have heard from his son Leo too. I don't think it is the greatest written story, but I do acknowledge his good intent.
posted by AugustWest at 10:11 PM on April 15, 2016
posted by AugustWest at 10:11 PM on April 15, 2016
Oh, my objection isn't so much that Steve didn't share enough, it's that the author wrote an article about him with, apparently, Steve not being interested in sharing (and the author not seeming all that interested in Steve as a human.)
Arrrrgh, yes, this so very much!
I have a friend who was in the habit of using our mutual friends (and me) as, essentially, characters in his stories about life, and it was getting to the point that we were all pretty much ready to kill him because he just would not stop. He finally stopped when, after writing about a particular struggle of mine, someone commented that I was "such a noble survivor", and I just...snapped. Tore him and his commenter a few new orifices. Commenter was upset and angry, she was just "complimenting [my] resilience". And I lost my shit all over again. Because NO.
The Universe can be a really shitty place. And sometimes it dumps shitty things upon the heads of people who weren't doing a damned thing but minding their own business and doing whatever it is that they do. Rinsing the shit off doesn't make people "noble" or whatever. It just makes them humans who chose to rinse the shit off and carry on as best as they're able.
The way the author talks about Steve reminds me of my friend. And that's not a compliment.
posted by MissySedai at 11:16 PM on April 15, 2016 [10 favorites]
Arrrrgh, yes, this so very much!
I have a friend who was in the habit of using our mutual friends (and me) as, essentially, characters in his stories about life, and it was getting to the point that we were all pretty much ready to kill him because he just would not stop. He finally stopped when, after writing about a particular struggle of mine, someone commented that I was "such a noble survivor", and I just...snapped. Tore him and his commenter a few new orifices. Commenter was upset and angry, she was just "complimenting [my] resilience". And I lost my shit all over again. Because NO.
The Universe can be a really shitty place. And sometimes it dumps shitty things upon the heads of people who weren't doing a damned thing but minding their own business and doing whatever it is that they do. Rinsing the shit off doesn't make people "noble" or whatever. It just makes them humans who chose to rinse the shit off and carry on as best as they're able.
The way the author talks about Steve reminds me of my friend. And that's not a compliment.
posted by MissySedai at 11:16 PM on April 15, 2016 [10 favorites]
The article says there were 17. What's the distinction?
Yes, sorry. I confused the number of injured with the number who lost limbs.
posted by bondcliff at 6:39 AM on April 16, 2016
Yes, sorry. I confused the number of injured with the number who lost limbs.
posted by bondcliff at 6:39 AM on April 16, 2016
Please do Boston a favor and do not see Marky Mark's movie about this. I cannot believe he is filming it here, now, at all.
posted by maryr at 8:44 AM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by maryr at 8:44 AM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
next week will become the first bombing survivor to run the storied race.
This is a little misleading - other bombing survivors have run at least part of the Marathon in previous years (not sure if anyone has completed the full race yet though). E.g. Rebekah Gregory DiMartino trained to run the full marathon in 2015, although she was "only" able to run the last 3.2 miles in the end, per doctor's orders. (People, facebook) Adrianne Haslet-Davis also won't be the only amputee from the bombing running this year - Patrick Downes, who also lost a leg in the bombings, is preparing to run the full race as well (WCVB, facebook)
Regardless of who's considered the "first" to run the race, running even part of the race is an incredibly impressive achievement for all of the amputees and other survivors, both mentally and physically.
posted by randomnity at 11:05 AM on April 16, 2016
This is a little misleading - other bombing survivors have run at least part of the Marathon in previous years (not sure if anyone has completed the full race yet though). E.g. Rebekah Gregory DiMartino trained to run the full marathon in 2015, although she was "only" able to run the last 3.2 miles in the end, per doctor's orders. (People, facebook) Adrianne Haslet-Davis also won't be the only amputee from the bombing running this year - Patrick Downes, who also lost a leg in the bombings, is preparing to run the full race as well (WCVB, facebook)
Regardless of who's considered the "first" to run the race, running even part of the race is an incredibly impressive achievement for all of the amputees and other survivors, both mentally and physically.
posted by randomnity at 11:05 AM on April 16, 2016
To add to that, it looks like at least one bombing survivor, albeit a non-amputee, did run the full race in 2014 (and 2015) - Kevin White, who sadly passed away a few months ago. Kevin was not a runner before but was inspired to start training after the 2013 bombings, where he was a spectator and suffered shrapnel wounds.
posted by randomnity at 11:28 AM on April 16, 2016
posted by randomnity at 11:28 AM on April 16, 2016
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