FROG IS A CLASS 1 LASER DEVICE. DO NOT STARE DIRECTLY INTO FROG'S EYES.
April 15, 2016 7:22 PM Subscribe
Tips on operating your frog. Click the frog for more tips.
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But does it fractions?
posted by Going To Maine at 7:32 PM on April 15, 2016 [17 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:32 PM on April 15, 2016 [17 favorites]
YOUR LOCAL FROG SERVICE CENTER WILL REPAIR AN OUT-OF-WARRANTY FROG, PROVIDED THAT THE TAMPER-EVIDENT SEAL COVERING FROG'S ANUS HAS NOT BEEN BROKEN.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:38 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 7:38 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
CONSUME IT
CONSUME NOW
RUB IT ON YOUR FLIPPERS
posted by batbat at 7:39 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
CONSUME NOW
RUB IT ON YOUR FLIPPERS
posted by batbat at 7:39 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
This is all you need to know about frog: "The frog does not seem to see or, at any rate, is not concerned with the detail of stationary parts of the world around him. He will starve to death surrounded by food if it is not moving. His choice of food is determined only by size and movement. He will leap to capture any object the size of an insect or worm, providing it moves like one. He can be fooled easily not only by a bit of dangled meat but by any moving small object. His sex life is conducted by sound and touch. His choice of paths in escaping enemies does not seem to be governed by anything more devious than leaping to where it is darker. Since he is equally at home in water and on land, why should it matter where he lights after jumping or what particular direction he takes?"
posted by effbot at 7:41 PM on April 15, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by effbot at 7:41 PM on April 15, 2016 [6 favorites]
DO NOT INGEST FROG. FROG IS AN ALPHA PARTICLE EMITTER.
posted by Johnny Assay at 7:42 PM on April 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Johnny Assay at 7:42 PM on April 15, 2016 [2 favorites]
FROG SHOULD NOT BE MIXED WITH ALCOHOL OR MAO INHIBITORS.Frog is secretly a psychoactive toad.
posted by Rangi at 7:48 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
FROG MUST PARK IN POND ONLY. ANY FROG PARKED ON LAND WILL BE TOAD
posted by oulipian at 7:54 PM on April 15, 2016 [34 favorites]
posted by oulipian at 7:54 PM on April 15, 2016 [34 favorites]
I have not yet found the answer to my question in this manual:
Should I give the frog a banjo anonymously?
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:00 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
Should I give the frog a banjo anonymously?
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:00 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
ALL HAIL
posted by beerperson at 8:07 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by beerperson at 8:07 PM on April 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
DO NOT TWEET FROG. FROG IS NOT A BIRD.
posted by nubs at 8:10 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by nubs at 8:10 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]
Disney has just announced that the "F" in the title "The BFG" DOES stand for Frog.
Frog. The F-Word it's okay to use.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:30 PM on April 15, 2016
Frog. The F-Word it's okay to use.
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:30 PM on April 15, 2016
FROG REQUIRES A STEADY DIET OF FLIES. IF YOU SHIT ON A PLATE AND LEAVE IT OUTSIDE, IT WILL ATTRACT ENOUGH FLIES FOR FROG.
posted by Slinga at 9:29 PM on April 15, 2016
posted by Slinga at 9:29 PM on April 15, 2016
WHAT YOU'RE REFERRING TO AS FROG IS, IN FACT, GNU/FROG, OR AS I'VE RECENTLY TAKEN TO CALLING IT, GNU PLUS FROG.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:02 PM on April 15, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 10:02 PM on April 15, 2016 [8 favorites]
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSFER FILES TO FROG VIA THE KERMIT PROTOCOL. FROG AND KERMIT ARE NOT ON SPEAKING TERMS.
posted by Quonab at 10:53 PM on April 15, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by Quonab at 10:53 PM on April 15, 2016 [10 favorites]
NOTE: ATTEMPTING TO CONVERT FROG INTO EBCDIC WILL RESULT IN FIRE, EXPLOSION, AND LIKELY DEATH.
posted by JHarris at 4:59 AM on April 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 4:59 AM on April 16, 2016 [3 favorites]
FROG AND TOAD MAY BE FRIENDS BUT FROG NEEDS SOME ALONE-TIME ONCE IN A WHILE.
posted by nubs at 6:43 AM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by nubs at 6:43 AM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
P.S. I'LL FIND MY FROG.
posted by TheCoug at 8:11 AM on April 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by TheCoug at 8:11 AM on April 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
PAST PERFORMANCE DOES NOT GUARANTEE FUTURE RESULTS. KISS FROG AT OWN RISK.
posted by drlith at 8:20 AM on April 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by drlith at 8:20 AM on April 16, 2016 [1 favorite]
FROG IS NOT YOUR PRINCE. FROG IS THE HERO OF HIS OWN STORY. DON'T PROJECT YOUR NEEDS ONTO FROG; BE THE HERO OF YOUR OWN STORY.
posted by nubs at 8:53 AM on April 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by nubs at 8:53 AM on April 16, 2016 [4 favorites]
TO PREVENT MEASUREMENT ERROR WHEN USING FROG, READ FROG ON LEVEL SURFACE.
Mmm hm. Kay, lessee here . . aaaaaand there we go. Good.
Okay now to measu- Hey!
posted by petebest at 10:52 AM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
Mmm hm. Kay, lessee here . . aaaaaand there we go. Good.
Okay now to measu- Hey!
posted by petebest at 10:52 AM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
Glorious.
posted by Alterscape at 11:13 AM on April 16, 2016
posted by Alterscape at 11:13 AM on April 16, 2016
> P.S. I'LL FIND MY FROG.
HIM NAME IS HOPKIN GREEN FROG
posted by davelog at 3:48 PM on April 16, 2016
HIM NAME IS HOPKIN GREEN FROG
posted by davelog at 3:48 PM on April 16, 2016
DO NOT OPEN FROG. NO USER SERVICEABLE PARTS INSIDE.
posted by BlueHorse at 6:14 PM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by BlueHorse at 6:14 PM on April 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
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good frog, good frog *pats head*
posted by Foci for Analysis at 7:25 PM on April 15, 2016 [1 favorite]