What would you like your nation to be known for?

April 23, 2016 11:03 PM

In the dubious tradition of "What X Are You?" quizzes, National Geographic asks Which Of These Tiny Countries Fits You Best? (a potentially useful tool if youknowwho wins the election, right?)
posted by oneswellfoop (45 comments total)

Apparently I should be Maltese.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 12:12 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

I should also be Maltese.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 12:14 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Freetown Christiania. (I feel like a certain question might have been weighted more than it should have.)
posted by cotton dress sock at 12:26 AM on April 24, 2016 [67 favorites]

Freetown Christiania, natch.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 12:27 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Freetown Christiania as well, which fits with my plans to visit Copenhagen during my next vacation.
posted by selenized at 12:39 AM on April 24, 2016

Freetown Christania for me.
posted by saulgoodman at 12:42 AM on April 24, 2016

Wait, when did Voldemort enter the race? Is he running on the lesser evil platform?
posted by adept256 at 12:50 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Kingdom of Elleore, here I come! Sounds great, people only bother to be a kingdom once a week in a year. Wouldn't mind taking a 51-week vacation from politics.
posted by sapagan at 1:21 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think we should move en masse to Freetown Christiania guys.
posted by Panthalassa at 1:42 AM on April 24, 2016 [14 favorites]

Sovereign Military Order of Malta! Which is great, and quite funny, but I'll gladly trade the UN recognition for a couple wheels of decent parmigiano.
posted by iffthen at 1:54 AM on April 24, 2016

The Military Dictatorship of Mordor.

Not sure about the name but the brochures do look nice. Always warm, lots of interesting vistas and your own underground lair - sounds great for the kids.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:19 AM on April 24, 2016

I got Christiania as well, even though I don't even like being independent and having fun! It's the socialism that did it, right? That and the legal marijuana.

I remember the first time I visited Christiania when I was 18; I thought it was Shangri-La and longed to live there forever, finally being my truest self and creating deep, meaningful art in a tiny house made entirely of windows.

Last time I went there I thought it was a right horror with all the stoned tourists stumbling around and pushers getting into fistfights in the woods that smelled of pee.

20 years had passed, and I don't think it was Christiania that had changed.
posted by sively at 2:22 AM on April 24, 2016 [16 favorites]

Can't find anything about Christiania citizenship / immigration, so I guess I am screwed.
posted by Meatbomb at 2:34 AM on April 24, 2016

(Although if this house looked like that IRL without the enhanced colours, carefully chosen angle of view and cropped surroundings, the Moomin in me would be tempted. Especially since most of my neighbours would apparently be Mefites.)
posted by sively at 2:40 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Malta here, too.
posted by crossoverman at 3:17 AM on April 24, 2016

I thought the mysterious knights would get me a Malta offer but no, probably makes sense as I have turned down a job there in the past. I also went with socialism and legal marijuana but it got me Elleore rather than Christiana. Would be pretty happy with either, maybe getting a job in Roskilde or Copenhagen, very civilised.
posted by biffa at 3:34 AM on April 24, 2016

Christiania - to my big surprise. I certainly wouldn't want to live there. I was going for Elleore or Malta.
posted by mumimor at 3:45 AM on April 24, 2016

It's pretty non-trivial to move to Christiania these days isn't it?
posted by Dysk at 3:48 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Elleore although I accidentally mashed the fifth question.
posted by solarion at 3:50 AM on April 24, 2016

I'm disappointed by the absence of San Marino, Monaco, Andorra, Lichtenstein, Palau, Tuvalu, Niue, and Nauru.

Of course NatGeo might just have dropped them. Someone should check the carpets.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:39 AM on April 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

A lot of people will be disappointed by the absence of Tuvalu in the coming decades. And Nauru is such a paradise, once you get there you just can't leave.

I lived in Nauru in 1980-1981, as an Australian 2yo. Long before the concentration camps we put there, we depleted it's mineral resources. I wish more people knew how much we screwed Nauru because it would change a lot of minds.
posted by adept256 at 4:53 AM on April 24, 2016 [8 favorites]

San Marino, Monaco, Andorra, Lichtenstein, Palau, Tuvalu, Niue and Nauru are all actual countries, so that's why they're not on the list.

"But Malta was on the list", I hear you say? No, The Sovereign Military Order of Malta was on the list, which is a truly strange organization.
posted by ambrosen at 5:12 AM on April 24, 2016 [5 favorites]

Dang, expected something like Malta but I ended up with Sealand.

I'd invite you all to visit me there, but I don't think there's enough room.
posted by easily confused at 5:12 AM on April 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

"But Malta was on the list", I hear you say? No, The Sovereign Military Order of Malta was on the list, which is a truly strange organization.

Wow! Thanks
posted by mumimor at 6:12 AM on April 24, 2016

Apparently I'm the first poster here to get the Empire of Atlantium. Maybe because I was OK with an absolute monarch.

(Seriously, as long as they're the "benevolent dictator" sort and not the despot, I'm fine with it. The problem seems to come with the long arc of history, where "benevolent dictator" seems unsustainable across multiple generations.)
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:40 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Christiania.

I guess dinner there last week was pretty good. But hopefully I can live past the tourist zones (Pusher Street etc).
posted by nat at 6:46 AM on April 24, 2016

Come on now Clinton won't be that bad.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 7:17 AM on April 24, 2016 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: Dan Obeah relocates to Christiania...?
posted by fast ein Maedchen at 7:34 AM on April 24, 2016

I also got Malta which is interesting cause thr SO has family there.

(to quote mst3k MALTA: maker of fine Knights, Falcons, and crosses)

(In terms of obscure countries I've always had my eye on Uruguay)
posted by The Whelk at 7:48 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Yet another future Christianian. (Far from perfect, but yeah, that'll do.)

I'm glad these places exist, if only to show up the pompous absurdity of nations, patriotism, and pretty much everything else about global politics. But I also rather like living in a place with a significant population of professional pipefitters and surgeons. We need a few more international-city-scale nation-states, if you ask me.

Oh shit, Atlantium has a decimal calendar? Can I change my answers? Not a fan of monarchs, but sometimes compromises are necessary for the greater good.
posted by eotvos at 7:52 AM on April 24, 2016

Malta, appropriately enough.
posted by BWA at 8:04 AM on April 24, 2016

Also Christiania, but I eventually managed to get Molossia, aka a country with currency pegged to cookie dough.
posted by jeather at 8:30 AM on April 24, 2016

Don't wait for the election. Leave now.
posted by a3matrix at 8:56 AM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

Malta as well, which is ironic because I hate malts.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 9:26 AM on April 24, 2016

Christiania. Sounds like we might just about take over the place. That would work for me.
posted by emmet at 9:32 AM on April 24, 2016

I thought this started badly from the first question (I don't like busy cities, or the middle of ocean or desert thankyouverymuch), and ended up in Christiania.
posted by achrise at 9:34 AM on April 24, 2016

I picked the middle of the desert, but my preference for fun, socialism, and marijuana (none for me, thanks) pointed me in the direction of Christiana. I used to go there (for hash, back when I liked the stuff) in 1972. This was just a year after it was "founded," but already it seemed like it had been there forever.
posted by kozad at 11:06 AM on April 24, 2016

I think it gives you Christiana if you mark weed should be legal. I tried it again and got Sealand, which feels like cheating. Sealand isn't really a country.
posted by T.D. Strange at 11:11 AM on April 24, 2016

Freetown Christiania as well. Are there enough of us to start our own country yet?
posted by Splunge at 12:15 PM on April 24, 2016

Malta.

Think you can take me.... to a pizza place?
posted by deadaluspark at 1:36 PM on April 24, 2016 [1 favorite]

HEY MALTA, GET A TREE
posted by The Whelk at 3:22 PM on April 24, 2016

Freetown for me too. I'm already packing to start all the restoration from the storm, so...I'll just have my pods shipped to Copenhagen, shall I?
posted by SecretAgentSockpuppet at 4:34 PM on April 24, 2016

The Empire of Atlantium.

I didn't pick absolute monarch though, so it must have been my other choices. Interesting that there are so few of us; I want to learn more now.
posted by Laura in Canada at 7:37 AM on April 25, 2016

I got Malta, but I don't want their dogs.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:38 AM on April 25, 2016

I spoke with a friend who actually has lived in Christiania early today and his comment was essentially "Yeah, if people knew what it actually is to live there they might reconsider." (I've only visited, myself).

I can say though that Copenhagen itself I quite like, so for people who got either Christiania or Elleore, consider Denmark. (Well, except it doesn't have a great history or present with regards to non-moneyed immigrants..)
posted by nat at 4:15 PM on April 25, 2016 [1 favorite]