Diabolical beaver holds Daugavpils in its thrall
April 27, 2016 9:46 AM   Subscribe

A man in Daugavpils, Latvia's second-largest city, was attacked by a beaver in the middle of the night. Pinned to the ground, the man - known only as Sergei - phoned for help but rescue services doubted his tale of rodent assault and thought it was a prank call...
posted by Pyrogenesis (28 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
Note to self: if ever attacked and held hostage by a beaver in a dark alley, when telephoning for assistance refer to it only as "some sort of wild animal."
posted by exogenous at 9:52 AM on April 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


Follow-up: The only thing spoiling the pleasure of seeing one aggressive Latgalian rodent prompting millions of worldwide clicks and chuckles was when we saw Kremlin propaganda wire Sputnik had also picked up the story. For the first time ever we doubted whether the beaver really existed.

However the fact that Sputnik chose not to adopt its usual tone with this story and say this was a fascist Latvian beaver attacking a defenseless member of the Russian minority suggests that for the first time ever, Sputnik may actually be telling the truth. So at least one good thing came from the attack.

posted by Freelance Demiurge at 9:57 AM on April 27, 2016 [8 favorites]


"rampant beaver"
posted by ennui.bz at 10:07 AM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


He didn't have time to fully grasp the peril in which he found himself before the beaver had sunk its teeth into one of his legs.

These are teeth made for CUTTING DOWN TREES. That had to be one hell of a bite injury.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:13 AM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


Diabolical Beaver is my new indie band name. (Humblebrag motto: "We bite. Hard.")
Our first album will be, "...And it Had Murder on its Malignant Mammalian Mind."

Stop by the merch table after the show and say hi...
posted by mosk at 10:20 AM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]



He didn't have time to fully grasp the peril in which he found himself before the beaver had sunk its teeth into one of his legs.

These are teeth made for CUTTING DOWN TREES. That had to be one hell of a bite injury.


15 stitches!
posted by Fig at 10:29 AM on April 27, 2016


Beaver attack!
Penn Powell has lived all his life in the woods, and has been attacked by "pretty near every animal in the bush" ... but when Canada's national symbol rounds on him on a dark and stormy night, the result is both hilarious and painful. In this much-requested clip, Powell gives CBC Radio's Markus Schwabe a colourful rendition of his encounter - including the fearful moment the ferocious rodent went "after my honeymoon jewels!"

I heard this interview years ago, it still breaks me up.
posted by dougzilla at 10:30 AM on April 27, 2016 [6 favorites]


I was looking for info on how fast beavers can run (there seems to be no studies on this v important subject), and discovered they weigh 45-60 lb. I had no idea they were that big. Like, I could not lift a beaver. No wonder the guy was trapped.
posted by Fig at 10:33 AM on April 27, 2016


Diabolical Beaver is my new indie band name.

"Diabolical Beaver and his Toothsome Terrorists."
posted by Pyrogenesis at 10:33 AM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


running away is the best course of action when encountering a rampant beaver.

........kay. (I am 12).
posted by happyroach at 10:37 AM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's a good thing the beaver wasn't at its home, or the attack could have been a dam site worse.
posted by zamboni at 10:43 AM on April 27, 2016 [22 favorites]


. . . toothsome terrorist . . .

I know I'm supposed to give up on things like this, but that's not what toothsome means.
posted by The Bellman at 10:52 AM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


Dougzilla, that CBC interview was the first thing I thought of when I read this post.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:16 AM on April 27, 2016 [2 favorites]


hurdy gurdy girl
Me too, the geezer in the interview just kills me.
posted by dougzilla at 11:29 AM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


The other day I drove past a pest removal business that had images of animals on its windows. There were silhouettes of bats, mice, rats, snakes...and a beaver. I had never really thought of beavers as "pests" before, but I am starting to rethink that.
posted by Biblio at 11:38 AM on April 27, 2016


Beavers have orange teeth because they're coated with an iron based enamel.

This is my beaver tooth fact.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 11:53 AM on April 27, 2016 [7 favorites]


Diabolical Beaver is my new indie band name.

Howzabout: "Diabolical Beaver and the Dammed."

Debut album: Castor Blaster

I'll show myself out.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 12:35 PM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


I had never really thought of beavers as "pests" before ...

Go to chizumatic.mee.nu and search for beaver. You get some false positives because the author lives in Beaverton, OR, but you also get stories of the pestilential beavers in his back yard.
posted by Bruce H. at 12:38 PM on April 27, 2016


Alternatively you can drop something to distract the beaver (your wallet for example)....

What to do in an encounter with a bear: Back away slowly while maintaining eye contact.

What to do in an encounter with a mountain lion: Make yourself look as big as possible, make a loud racket, do not turn your back.

What to do in an encounter with a Latvian beaver: Offer it money.
posted by mudpuppie at 12:46 PM on April 27, 2016 [9 favorites]


Rollin down the stream, building ponds and chewing on elm and spruce
Laid back - with my mind on murder and murder on my mind

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Beaver Rap.

Remember, you heard about it here first.
posted by Naberius at 1:28 PM on April 27, 2016 [5 favorites]


What if you only have US dollars in your wallet? THEN WHAT??
posted by Mei's lost sandal at 1:31 PM on April 27, 2016


Am I the only one disappointed that the beaver's name wasn't Sergei?
posted by urbanwhaleshark at 1:37 PM on April 27, 2016 [1 favorite]


... or Theodore?

Was it a R.O.U.S.?
posted by MtDewd at 1:45 PM on April 27, 2016


I don't believe in them.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:32 PM on April 27, 2016


Mihails Pupiņš, director of the Daugavpils Zoo said:
... in spring beavers can indeed be very aggressive and even pose a danger to humans as beaver males are driven out of their lodges in search of new homes.

In reality this was a case of a patriotic Latvian beaver finally having had enough of that invasive species, The Russian.

Too bad our patriot ran off before being interviewed. But such are those who serve without need of recognition or reward.

It is also possible that Sergei had a wooden leg.
posted by stirfry at 5:34 PM on April 27, 2016 [3 favorites]


In reality this was a case of a patriotic Latvian beaver finally having had enough of that invasive species, The Russian.

Exactly my thought when I read that the guy's name was Sergei. My mom was born in Daugavpils; when I tell her the story I'm pretty sure that's what she'll be thinking too. To any fellow Latvian MeFites: Sveiks!
posted by scalefree at 7:21 PM on April 27, 2016


Another problematic beaver story here - I think it's been linked before but too good to not add.
posted by leslies at 5:52 AM on April 28, 2016 [2 favorites]


"but that's not what toothsome means."

There are some local druts calling beaver delicious, and I mean the dam building sort.

I spent since last August watching beavers make an amazing set of dams, and take out old cottonwoods to do just that. I was amazed at their skill and energy. However, I knew if I got a crush on the process I would be saddened. And yes, some self proclaimed piece of, killed them all and tore out the dams, all on his own initiative. Now the Forest Service is taking out the old cottonwoods because the ground is wetland, and they need to come down, as they are falling. So, the beavers were doing the job anyway, and were filling the wetland, which was wonderful, but no, they are gone, gone, gone. I talked at length with the Forest Service, about how camp and natural areas close to urban areas, should be closed to hunting and trapping, unless the trapping is contracted by the Division of Wildlife Resources, however The Division of Water Quality, Wildlife Resources, and the Forest Service are in a divided house in Utah, each in its own room, handcuffed, gagged, and shackled.

I actually spoke with the self proclaimed DIY wildlife manager, and he had his reasons for wiping them out, and I asked, "Do you live here? Are you contracted by the Division of Wildlife Resources to kill these creatures? Did the Forest Service hire you?" No it was all just talk about his beliefs regarding the type of beaver, and horrifically, he knew where all the rest of their dams and hideouts were in the entire South Fork drainage.

I just left this here because...they were so awesome and they are gone, gone, gone...
posted by Oyéah at 9:07 AM on April 28, 2016 [4 favorites]


« Older New short story from Paolo Bacigalupi   |   "I can't sentence you for being a child... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments