Meet the Fugglers
May 3, 2016 4:27 AM Subscribe
Mrs McGettrick makes Fugglers from felt and discarded false teeth. Even stranger, some people buy them. "It was something I would do in the evening to unwind: cup of tea, episode of something trashy on TV, force some teeth into the gaping maw of a felt teddy bear... I was both bewildered and excited when I sold my first order. I purchased another bag of teeth."
They're at the precise nexus of adorable and terrifying. I'm kind of relieved that they're out of my price range.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:42 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:42 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
You'll never know what those smiles mean. They'll never tell you.
posted by sudogeek at 4:45 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by sudogeek at 4:45 AM on May 3, 2016
Oh good, some of them have the decency to wear underwear, albeit stained...
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I really should have known not to click on the link before coffee. . . .
posted by soundguy99 at 4:47 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by soundguy99 at 4:47 AM on May 3, 2016
It seems like there would be a Japanese or Germain word for "cute but scary" that would be perfect here.
posted by Monday at 4:57 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Monday at 4:57 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I wasn't going to sleep tonight anyway.
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:00 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:00 AM on May 3, 2016
If you like what you see, why not buy a Fuggler? They won't bite[1].Echoing the love for the tone of the website. Do have to say that the variation in the ostensibly simple design of the Fugglers is great too.
1. They might bite.
posted by comealongpole at 5:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
Oh thank god, Mother's Day is almost here and I still haven't gotten anything.
posted by backseatpilot at 5:36 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by backseatpilot at 5:36 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
This is at once infinitely better and infinitely worse than I was anticipating.
posted by gauche at 5:48 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by gauche at 5:48 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Echoing the love for the tone of the website.
Agreed. I very much have the impression that she is as perplexed about all this as anybody.
posted by gauche at 5:50 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
Agreed. I very much have the impression that she is as perplexed about all this as anybody.
posted by gauche at 5:50 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
The real question is, did the underwear come pre-stained, or did she add the stains for artistic effect?
for the life of me I can't decide which is less gross
posted by telepanda at 5:55 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
for the life of me I can't decide which is less gross
posted by telepanda at 5:55 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
The captions on the gallery thumbnails greatly amused me (you have to click into the pics to see them). A much more unsettling ending to se7en...
posted by billiebee at 6:15 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by billiebee at 6:15 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
This will be Gwyneth Paltrow's final gift from her dead astronaut husband. Look under the bed, Alice, he'll say.
posted by mochapickle at 6:23 AM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by mochapickle at 6:23 AM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]
Cats and Fugglers are natural allies. To celebrate this unholy alliance, why not buy a cat clutching a cat that has an inordinate amount of nipples?
Anyone who would design a plush cat with an inordinate number of nipples and then describe it in exactly those terms is my kind of peep.
posted by drlith at 6:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
Anyone who would design a plush cat with an inordinate number of nipples and then describe it in exactly those terms is my kind of peep.
posted by drlith at 6:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
My house is filled with these creatures now, and my husband has a sadness about it all. Sometimes he mixes holy water in with polyfilla, and seals us in the house. You can't leave. You can't leave, he intones.
no, really. i want/don't want one. I love/hate this so much.
posted by allthinky at 6:53 AM on May 3, 2016
no, really. i want/don't want one. I love/hate this so much.
posted by allthinky at 6:53 AM on May 3, 2016
What has been seen cannot be unseen.
posted by prepmonkey at 7:19 AM on May 3, 2016
posted by prepmonkey at 7:19 AM on May 3, 2016
Like Teddy Bears, but for nightmares.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:35 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Going To Maine at 7:35 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
"bags" of teeth?
posted by From Bklyn at 8:02 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by From Bklyn at 8:02 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I too have had the desire to put teeth into a stuffed animal (but store-bought animal, not handmade, since I'm not that crafty). It's hard to express exactly but as I was working on it I was continually creeped out even though this was something I wanted to do and had been excited about. It's unsettling. Okay, unsettling isn't sufficient - when it was mid-process I found it loathsome. Abhorrent.
Anyway, the final result was this happy guy who still lives in my house against my better judgment. He's in a cabinet with a glass front and a strong latch so I feel vaguely secure.
I initially created him for just that one single photo, but found that his continued presence was unnerving. I guess I had to put myself through some form of exposure therapy, so I ended up with:
The night we met
Filthy sneak (get out of my house)
Out on the town
and finally
I guess we can be friends
which was the hardest thing for me to shoot because I had to put those teeth right. up. to. my. eye. and I really didn't want to.
I think I forgot to mention that those teeth are some secondhand dentures I bought off of craigslist and I couldn't stop thinking about the elderly lady that had used them before they came into my possession.
all of which is me trying to get to the point of: these Fugglers are juuuuust one little bit closer to cute. They're slightly more surreal and therefore make me less uncomfortable. My first thought on seeing them was, "I want one" which was immediately followed by, "Why in the world do you need more toothy things in your house?"
posted by komara at 8:07 AM on May 3, 2016 [15 favorites]
Anyway, the final result was this happy guy who still lives in my house against my better judgment. He's in a cabinet with a glass front and a strong latch so I feel vaguely secure.
I initially created him for just that one single photo, but found that his continued presence was unnerving. I guess I had to put myself through some form of exposure therapy, so I ended up with:
The night we met
Filthy sneak (get out of my house)
Out on the town
and finally
I guess we can be friends
which was the hardest thing for me to shoot because I had to put those teeth right. up. to. my. eye. and I really didn't want to.
I think I forgot to mention that those teeth are some secondhand dentures I bought off of craigslist and I couldn't stop thinking about the elderly lady that had used them before they came into my possession.
all of which is me trying to get to the point of: these Fugglers are juuuuust one little bit closer to cute. They're slightly more surreal and therefore make me less uncomfortable. My first thought on seeing them was, "I want one" which was immediately followed by, "Why in the world do you need more toothy things in your house?"
posted by komara at 8:07 AM on May 3, 2016 [15 favorites]
They remind me of the loathsome Quiznos spongemonkeys. But cuter. And not racist.
posted by carmicha at 8:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by carmicha at 8:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Final verdict: I would probably play with these during the day.
I would definitely lock them up at night.
With a lock.
posted by gauche at 9:33 AM on May 3, 2016
I would definitely lock them up at night.
With a lock.
posted by gauche at 9:33 AM on May 3, 2016
y hallo thar nitemare fuel
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:11 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:11 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I would definitely lock them up at night.
With a lock.
Only one? Hannibal Lecter gets five locked doors between him and the outside world. These... things... need about ten. At least.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
With a lock.
Only one? Hannibal Lecter gets five locked doors between him and the outside world. These... things... need about ten. At least.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Yeah, really reminds me of that USPS clown doll commercial.
posted by Standeck at 12:20 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by Standeck at 12:20 PM on May 3, 2016
In light of a growing number of people who want to inflict Fugglers on their offspring, I am currently looking into working with a manufacturer to produce a range of Fugglers that will be CE tested and suitable for a younger audience. When I say suitable, obviously it's still going to be a teddy bear with artificial human teeth.
My niece is gonna LOVE me.
posted by babelfish at 1:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
My niece is gonna LOVE me.
posted by babelfish at 1:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
My 1st thought was Where do you get discarded teeth? It would be better if i did not start buying used teeth on ebay, but
posted by theora55 at 1:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by theora55 at 1:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
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