Like Burning Man. But in Vegas. For the 1%. The 1% of the Tech Elite.
May 3, 2016 5:05 AM   Subscribe

Picture Eric Schmidt wearing a leather Top hat and a waistcoat made of mirrors No really, the article contains a picture of Executive Chairman of Alphabet (previously one of the Google CEOs) Eric Schmitdt wearing a leather Top hat and a waistcoat adorned with mirrors

What do you do if you want to have a Burning Man festival vibe, but with opulence, luxury, and most importantly of all - all your super rich friends ?

Why you hold your own event in the Vegas desert of course!

Further Future is a festival supposedly unlike any other:

A new kind of music and lifestyle festival. From 12pm on Friday April 29 through sunset on Sunday May 1, 2016, we will gather at the Moapa River Indian Reservation near Las Vegas, Nevada, for a weekend filled with incredible music, visionary speakers, inspirational art and human connection

Across 49 acres, and with approx 5,000 attendees this is THE non-networking, networking event/party/gathering that the best, of the best, of the richest gather at. VIP packages can include bonuses like a 'entourage concierge, spa facilities, your own 'Airstream village enclave' and of course your own personal dedicated 'lifestyle assistant'

The 2016 'Transformational' festival is over, but if you earn enough and know the right people you too can start planning to attend the 2017 event.

As Robert Scott, (entertainment lawyer) one of the co-founders of the event states:
“There’s a lot of ways to find an epiphany. Being in the desert under hard conditions is one way to bring yourself into a receptive state, I suppose, but here, all these things are putting you in the same place gently,”
posted by Faintdreams (74 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
 
If 2016 were a work of fiction, it would be written off as heavyhanded.
posted by schmod at 5:08 AM on May 3, 2016 [63 favorites]


When did Eric Schmidt start dressing like Mystery?
posted by Cash4Lead at 5:10 AM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]


The bit about privilege is fantastically clueless. Bring on FrenchTek 2016
posted by liliillliil at 5:12 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dreadlocked Eric Schmidt, Steve Jurvetson and Vinod Khosla at 7AM in a field in France, bucket hats, covered in sick and mud, huffing nitrous and dancing feverishly to gabber one foot away from the massive Google / Amazon link up rig
posted by liliillliil at 5:19 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]


On the one hand, this is patently ridiculous and deserving of all mockery that comes its way.

On the other hand, if the wealthy and clueless will self-select into festivals like this as an alternative to Burning Man and the like, it's kind of a good thing?

I never went to Burning Man because it never really seemed like that much fun, but I felt bad for the folks who did enjoy it and saw it monetized into a rich persons' playground.
posted by explosion at 5:19 AM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]


I want to say "Nuke it from Space, it's the only way to be sure", but I shall resist the urge.
posted by Faintdreams at 5:27 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]


“It’s all about balance. We are the ones meant to be the air, not the earth,” Piorkowski said. “So you have this group who can travel. The purpose can never be to enable everyone to travel because that would create imbalance.”

Did he just...

that would create imbalance

Yeah. He did. Without intentional irony?
posted by Foosnark at 5:30 AM on May 3, 2016 [39 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by lollusc at 5:31 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]


There's an odor about this.
posted by rmmcclay at 5:33 AM on May 3, 2016


O__O
posted by moonlight on vermont at 5:40 AM on May 3, 2016


To be fair that's an awesome hat.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:43 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]




I guess it's possible to imitate the form without understanding the substance. Even in this Burning Man was first: Cargo Cult was the theme three years ago.
posted by drdanger at 6:00 AM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]


“It’s important what we do here,” Scott said. “That’s what we keep saying. We’re shaping the future. These are the people who not only can do it, but these are the only people who can.”
We're the only ones who matter.

That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
That's what we keep saying.
posted by dis_integration at 6:06 AM on May 3, 2016 [20 favorites]


AHAHAHAHA holy shit I can't breathe

Loïc Le Meur, in his Trinocular Grand Poobah getup, looks like the Demigod of Capital

That said: for many people, Further Future is precisely how Burning Man appears to most other people. It's like how people love making fun of Gwyneth Paltrow, even though her life is basically how all First World white people appear to the average human on the planet. Difference of degree, and not of kind.
posted by Sticherbeast at 6:08 AM on May 3, 2016 [24 favorites]


This is probably what the Bilderberg Conference/Bohemian Grove will look like in the 21st century. All those techbro cyber-Objectivists surely weren't going to abandon the whole Bay Area cyberculture milieu for early-20th-century Masonic drag upon reaching the secret levers of power, were they?
posted by acb at 6:09 AM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]


It's times like this that I wish the internet bubble would burst again to knock these fuckers down a peg or two but inevitably they'd be right back in a few years with their entitled bullshit. At this point, I say let them have NorCal and build a wall around it.
posted by photoslob at 6:18 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well, I for one find it gratifying when the elite actually comes out with the whole "well, not everyone could be allowed to enjoy our lavish lifestyle because it would, uh, create imbalance in the cosmos, plus we are the only people who can do valuable things" line.

The more general tactic for elites, IME, is to pretend that they care about others, believe in democracy, etc, and lots of regular people get suckered into believing them. Much better to have them cheer for selfishness and greed because at least we know where we stand.

Also, I'm sorry, he looks like a prat - like someone pasted a banker's head into the loucher sort of costume romance. I know older dudes who could make a tophat-and-mirror-vest costume that would look....well, very hippyish, let's say, but it would look like something that made sense on them. The moral of this fashion story is that when you make a silk purse out of a sow's ear, you still have a silk purse that looks like pig parts.
posted by Frowner at 6:20 AM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]


I'm reminded of a certain Stephen King novel...
posted by tommasz at 6:21 AM on May 3, 2016


“This is a high percentage of San Francisco entrepreneurs, and they tend to be winners. It’s a curated, self-selected group of adults who have jobs,” Schmidt said. “You can tell by the percentage of trailers.”

This sounds like something Donald Trump would say, if he decided to treat his audience as if they were college students instead of kindergarteners.
posted by Gorgik at 6:22 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]


So what I'm getting from this is that Immortan Joe probably started out as a Google exec who had a utterly life-changing week at Burning Man.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:22 AM on May 3, 2016 [47 favorites]


Whatever they are paying the tribe to rent that land, I am sure that it is not enough.
posted by julen at 6:23 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]


Instructables comes in handy in times like these.
posted by barnacles at 6:29 AM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]


So what I'm getting from this is that Immortan Joe probably started out as a Google exec who had a utterly life-changing week at Burning Man.

Ppl Eatr.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:31 AM on May 3, 2016


Guys, for $10k each you can come do drugs in my basement. I'll provide pillows, lightshow, some great music, perhaps some snacks.
You'll find your epiphany. Trust me.
posted by Theta States at 6:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]


To be fair the music lineup is pretty thin in scope but well selected. Kid Koala, Matt Tolfrey, Nicolas Jaar, Daedelus, Papercutz, Four Tet, Telefon Tel Aviv, Caribou, Andy Stott, Hauschka, Lusine...
I'm kind of jealous.
posted by Theta States at 6:40 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]


> I know older dudes who could make a tophat-and-mirror-vest costume that would look....well, very hippyish, let's say, but it would look like something that made sense on them.

I spent dawn on May 1st in the Berkeley Hills watching the Berkeley Morris team dance the sun up* (if the sun came up wherever you are, thank a Morris dancer!) and pretty much anyone on the team, including the women, could pull this off and look awesome. Schmidt, yeah, TRYING SO HARD.

* Photo from last yeah but yeah
posted by rtha at 6:40 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


This is probably what the Bilderberg Conference/Bohemian Grove will look like in the 21st century.

You do know the high point at the Grove is a pyrotechnic thing with a big owl, right?

Anyway this is actually a not fun Eric Schmidt fact you might want to pay more attention to than his party selfies:

Pentagon Taps Eric Schmidt to Make Itself More Google-ish
posted by bukvich at 6:41 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Schmidt should wear that outfit every day.
posted by The Ardship of Cambry at 6:43 AM on May 3, 2016


Foosnark: "The purpose can never be to enable everyone to travel because that would create imbalance"

Koyaanustwatsi
posted by chavenet at 6:47 AM on May 3, 2016 [26 favorites]


Fucking marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, the lot of them.

People sleep under bridges and they're talking about how not everyone should be mobile.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 6:49 AM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]


I think the OED is going to need to add a new word to express the damage done to an entire swath of humanity when the most visible and influential members must be self-parody, but is actually just complete tin-eared douchnozzlery.

I'm going to propose we use "pulling a Google Reader."

Is it too soon?
posted by Mayor West at 6:50 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]


Pentagon Taps Eric Schmidt to Make Itself More Google-ish

It has been obvious for at least the last ten years even to people like me that we're in the middle of the establishment of a tyranny so complete that it would knock Joseph Stalin back on his heels. Maybe life under the regime-in-process won't suck too much for tech-literate middle management types, but that will be because those people's wishes and dreams are pretty coterminous with the regime's.

That is, we'll all end up with ways to punish people who text and drive (which process will also be used to punish poor people, dissidents and minorities, but whatevs), we'll end up with ever fancier snapchatty things, we'll get our groceries delivered by drone, we'll have our high-quality streaming TV...and for, oh, the people with household incomes between about $65,000 and $150,000 a year, that will be sufficiently sweet even if less than utopia, and everyone will just let the system run. We'll be mildly pissed that we can't go to the Googlian Grove, and we'll lean on our kids to get into engineering high school or whatever, but other than that, we'll just enjoy shopping at Whole Foods and biking on the weekends, etc.

Everyone else on the other hand...

I mean, these people are awful. They genuinely think that they should run the world, they genuinely think they deserve lots and lots more than other people get, they genuinely think they're artists and creatives and so on. They genuinely think that they're philosopher kings. They're terrible people with terrible beliefs. I console myself a little since they're also tacky and risible, but it's not that consoling that the boot on the human face forever is in poor taste.
posted by Frowner at 6:52 AM on May 3, 2016 [62 favorites]


I honestly can't imagine what an incredible/surreal experience this was for the reporter, btw. The things these people are wiling to say out loud to her face! These guys are a fucking goldmine.

“This is a high percentage of San Francisco entrepreneurs, and they tend to be winners. It’s a curated, self-selected group of adults who have jobs,” Schmidt said. “You can tell by the percentage of trailers.”

"...we got raided by the government (for running a hedge fund), and I got spooked. So I had to decide where to plant my next seed, and I found this knack for festivals.”

“Kiteboarding is the new golf,” Ward said. “Everyone’s doing it. Branson, Elon, Sergey.”

“It’s all about balance. We are the ones meant to be the air, not the earth,” Piorkowski said. “So you have this group who can travel. The purpose can never be to enable everyone to travel because that would create imbalance.”

Just oh hoh ho ho ho my gawd.
posted by moonlight on vermont at 6:59 AM on May 3, 2016 [26 favorites]


I console myself a little since they're also tacky and risible, but it's not that consoling that the boot on the human face forever is in poor taste.

I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least they knew how to dress!
posted by indubitable at 7:04 AM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]


How did I miss this episode of Frasier and Niles go to the desert?
posted by freakazoid at 7:18 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


No, actually, I was just thinking about how a lot of clever, basically decent people pretty much believed - in the early days - that the National Socialists were too tacky and risible to succeed. I've read a number of memoirs from the early days of various godawful new regimes, and it seems like plenty of people simply can't believe that these tacky, venal people are going to get political traction. That is, in terms of tacky venality, I think start-up culture dudes belong with the other bad actors of history. Probably with less actual shooting people in the street, but certainly tacky, venal oppressors. Think of them as contemporary society's answer to Peron rather than contemporary society's answer to Mao.
posted by Frowner at 7:22 AM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]


I guess if they're all in one place, it makes the quelling easier? That's what you get from people who have endeavored to take a distributed system and centralize it.
posted by kokaku at 7:24 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


“It’s all about balance. We are the ones meant to be the air, not the earth,” Piorkowski said.

*cough* Icarus *cough*
posted by fraula at 7:39 AM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]


The things these people are wiling to say out loud to her face! These guys are a fucking goldmine.

You should come to SF and eavesdrop on some conversations at a bar or coffee shop. These insufferable asshats are everywhere, and they are so convinced of their own snowflakiness. They do actually say this shit out loud.
posted by bradbane at 7:42 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]




At least the Bohemian Grove crowd don't try to pretend they're anything other than wealthy, power-hungry overlords.
posted by twsf at 7:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry, but Bohemian Grove sounds a lot more pleasant than sweating in the desert.
(I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.)
posted by entropicamericana at 7:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]


I thought Regular Burning Man was super-privileged Burning Man. I mean, price-of-tickets plus being able to take off work and transport a week's-worth of food, drinking, cooking, and bathing-water, clothing, shelter, and entertainment out to Black Rock City for a week is a pretty difficult to attain vacation for a lot of folks.
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:47 AM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]


Note: I worked for a year at the major satellite uplink for the west coast USA. I had every top CEO of dotcoms, politicians, and various billionaires in the studio for their live feeds to networks.

Of all of them, Eric Schmidt was, IMHO, the nicest/smartest/most together person. Very aware, in the moment, curious, thoughtful, and engaged. He even noticed The Red Queen sticking out of my gear pack and spent 5m talking about it with me *after* his network chat.

Would love to work with him. Very adroit move hiring him by Google....
posted by CrowGoat at 7:48 AM on May 3, 2016


"Don't Be Evil" until we have our hooks in everything and it's too late to stop us
posted by Foosnark at 7:49 AM on May 3, 2016


I'm sure Eric Schmidt has many fine qualities but he also helped mastermind an illegal hiring conspiracy so I'm not too impressed by his moral character. Or his waistcoat, frankly.
posted by galaxy rise at 8:08 AM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]


Eric Schmidt in an uninspired costume for Lord Byron in The Difference Engine attending a party hosted by Hieronymus Bosch's triclops Mammon, and this is supposed to be about the future?

Oh, it's about acquiring some thong-curated space ass. I get it now.

posted by [expletive deleted] at 8:22 AM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]


Remember when our ruling elites had to go someplace secret for their stupid little Illuminati rituals?
posted by charred husk at 8:24 AM on May 3, 2016


The only thing that keeps me going in the face of news like this is the reminder that Death Comes To Us All.
posted by briank at 8:26 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


“Kiteboarding is the new golf,” Ward said. “Everyone’s doing it. Branson, Elon, Sergey.”

Well, that's one way they can self-select themselves out; kite-boarding has a much higher injury rate than golf does.

It's sufficiently dangerous that my climbing partner, who has competed internationally in paragliding competitions, finds kite-boarding too dangerous to try.

So, by all means, guys -- go kiteboarding, yeah!
posted by suelac at 8:27 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Don't worry. According to the political thread, it's not these guys, but the Dominionists who will end up running the US.

I mean, yay?
posted by happyroach at 8:35 AM on May 3, 2016


It’s a curated, self-selected group of adults who have jobs,” Schmidt said.

CEO of Google and not smart enough to realize that his logic proceeds by oxymoron, apparently
posted by junco at 8:52 AM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]


If all these fuckers stop going to Burning Man, it would be awesome for Burning Man. I might even consider going back.
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 9:08 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]


High end lounge chairs - check
Booze - check
Funky clothing - check
Maid service - check
Massages - check
Transportation to and from - check
Entertainment - check

In other words, they have recreated a higher-end Las Vegas hotel experience in an outdoors setting.

(Next year there will be a live stream available so mere peasants can watch the uber rich "think about the future")
posted by mikeburg at 9:24 AM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


I can't wait for Fourmyle of Ceres to make his entrance. I hear he'll be arriving in a working steam locomotive.
posted by curiousgene at 9:25 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]


How funny. I skimmed this earlier today, thought, Oh, The Guardian finally discovered Burning Man, and wondered why the costumes were so...naff.
posted by glasseyes at 9:34 AM on May 3, 2016


reminder that Death Comes To Us All.

They're working on that.

(Apparently ice cold chicken soup is thier newest life extension fad)
posted by The Whelk at 9:41 AM on May 3, 2016


I don't subscribe to the idea that you can't buy taste, but I do think that the people profiled in this article have failed to do so.
posted by codacorolla at 9:46 AM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]


And yet my tweet last year about Burning Man slowly turning into Bohemian Grove netted 0 likes.
posted by ckape at 9:51 AM on May 3, 2016


Can't we just send these folks off to seastead?
posted by rmd1023 at 10:14 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Across 49 acres of Native American land


#whydotheyhateus
posted by gottabefunky at 10:17 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


“It’s all about balance. We are the ones meant to be the air, not the earth,” Piorkowski said. “So you have this group who can travel. The purpose can never be to enable everyone to travel because that would create imbalance.”

Wow... that's just... I can't even... what?

That said... um... so.... they're all out there gathered in one place... can we like blow up all the roads and bridges or build a wall or something? Because I'm pretty sure the rest of humanity wouldn't actually miss these fuckers very much. We can even be nice about it and regularly air-drop supplies into the camp.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 11:32 AM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]


Reading this article made me want to make small whimpering noises.

It all reminds me of a The Great Gatsby reference. "It was all very careless and confused. They were careless people, Tom and Daisy — they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness, or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made..."
posted by tallmiddleagedgeek at 12:27 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]


Instructables comes in handy in times like these.
posted by barnacles at 6:29 AM on May 3 [8 favorites +] [!]


Sound thinking, but bringing in a few of these would be faster.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2016


Me to boyfriend last night: "Did anyone put the Further Future article on Metafilter yet? It's gonna be like CATNIP."

I hate this, but I hate it in a pure and cleansing way that feels better than most of the things I've hated this year.
posted by babelfish at 1:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]


I hate this, but I hate it in a pure and cleansing way that feels better than most of the things I've hated this year.

This was absolutely my reaction too. Like "there's not much I feel confident about in this world but I'm confident in my hatred for this." In a world without a lot of things for me left to believe in, my hatred at the line "These are the people who not only can do it, but these are the only people who can" is a goddamn rock for me.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


An espresso line stretches 45 minutes long for lavender lattes.

Ladies and germs, the Masters of the Fucking Universe--billionaires who couldn't be bothered to bring their own moka pot.
posted by Halloween Jack at 2:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]


companion guardian article: From zero gravity to Ride & Tie: the quirky hobbies of the tech elite.
posted by bukvich at 2:41 PM on May 3, 2016


If it makes anyone feel better about this, it was apparently quite the shitty time. Oh who am I kidding, like anything could make me feel sorry for these people.
posted by Hutch at 4:06 PM on May 3, 2016


I'm sorry, but Bohemian Grove sounds a lot more pleasant than sweating in the desert.

Except for Kissinger lurking around in his robe and wizard hat.
posted by rhizome at 8:01 PM on May 3, 2016


I would someday like to write a scathing biography entitled "From Lex to Lex Luthor: The Life of Eric Schmidt".
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 1:49 AM on May 4, 2016


The fact that is was badly organised and looks mostly like a dismal party in the desert - reduced to a mudbath by Mother Nature - is DELICIOUS.

Of course next year they'll probably still hold the damn festival, just inside a climate controlled dome - in the desert ::sigh::
posted by Faintdreams at 2:41 AM on May 4, 2016


This makes me unreasonably angry.

No, I think you are entirely reasonable.
posted by Mezentian at 2:54 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]


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