Class warfare in the skies
May 3, 2016 11:52 AM Subscribe
It’s perhaps no surprise that air rage — instances in which passengers become unruly — appears to be on the rise. The logic is straightforward: When people are strapped to their seats with no escape for hours on end, when they’re hungry and tired and they lack control over their surroundings, that’s when they’re most likely to snap. Except new research suggests that the explanations most commonly offered for passenger outbursts don’t actually explain what’s going on. ... It turns out that what really upsets us in the sky is palpable inequality.
I've flown first class and I've flown the crappiest economy ever.
The worst part about flying isn't that people who paid four times my ticket get to sit in lounge chairs and sip drinks, IT'S THAT I'M GOING TO CRASH TO MY DEATH.
There's a reason they offer doubles in the airport bars for an extra buck or two. Ford Prefect and oddly enough Tom Brady said it correctly: "Get lubed up before you travel".
posted by Sphinx at 12:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [12 favorites]
The worst part about flying isn't that people who paid four times my ticket get to sit in lounge chairs and sip drinks, IT'S THAT I'M GOING TO CRASH TO MY DEATH.
There's a reason they offer doubles in the airport bars for an extra buck or two. Ford Prefect and oddly enough Tom Brady said it correctly: "Get lubed up before you travel".
posted by Sphinx at 12:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [12 favorites]
Provocative headline but looks like the underlying study is garbage.
posted by donovan at 12:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [14 favorites]
posted by donovan at 12:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [14 favorites]
Andrew Gelman is not impressed by this paper:
http://andrewgelman.com/2016/05/03/ahhhh-ppnas/
http://andrewgelman.com/2016/05/03/im-all-out-of-clever/
posted by HoraceH at 12:03 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]
http://andrewgelman.com/2016/05/03/ahhhh-ppnas/
http://andrewgelman.com/2016/05/03/im-all-out-of-clever/
posted by HoraceH at 12:03 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]
Thanks, donovan, for the link. I should have done more poking around. A garbage study, eh? I wish I could be surprised. Apologies, all.
posted by Bella Donna at 12:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 12:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
The logic is straightforward: When people are strapped to their seats with no escape for hours on end, when they’re hungry and tired and they lack control over their surroundings, that’s when they’re most likely to snap.
AKA: Flying Southwest
posted by Thorzdad at 12:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
AKA: Flying Southwest
posted by Thorzdad at 12:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I flew first class once and it was one of the worst flying experiences of my life. It was a red eye back from LAX to New York and there were these C-list soap stars sitting in front of me, and they JUST KEPT TALKING IN LOUD VOICES ALL NIGHT.
I'm making a list for who I want immediately before me when we're all in line for Trump's guillotine, and those actors (they know who they are) are on there, along with literally everyone in this article.
posted by selfnoise at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
I'm making a list for who I want immediately before me when we're all in line for Trump's guillotine, and those actors (they know who they are) are on there, along with literally everyone in this article.
posted by selfnoise at 12:07 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
Flying is relatively cheap but the overall experience, from airport to airport, is pretty much a horror show. But I don't think it's first class vs. economy that's making people snap (with the possible exception of those far enough forward to see past the privacy curtains), at least not exclusively. I think it's the overall realization that if they could the airlines would anesthetize the passengers and stack them like cord wood to maximize space utilization. Being treated as nothing more than annoying cargo (what, you want a second bag of stale peanuts?) is inherently dehumanizing.
posted by tommasz at 12:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [13 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 12:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [13 favorites]
“One might reasonably expect that upper-class passengers would feel humbled or guilty on flights where their privileged position is more visible to less privileged people. Instead DeCelles and Norton found the opposite.”
In other news, "bears shit in woods," and "Pope is Catholic."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
In other news, "bears shit in woods," and "Pope is Catholic."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:11 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
The criticism by Gary Leff that donovan linked to doesn't say the study's conclusions are wrong, it just says there are some things that the study didn't take into account. It would like the study to be wrong, but it doesn't bring forward any objections that amount to more than "we need a bigger study that takes more things into account." And that's a fair objection.
What's not a fair objection is this:
I'm intrigued enough to be interested in another, larger study on the same topic, to see if its results are confirmed.
posted by clawsoon at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
What's not a fair objection is this:
The presence of a premium cabin didn’t cause a 24 year old passenger to attack another passenger — an overdose did. A premium cabin didn’t cause an Air India passenger to urinate in the aisle on his flight — anti-depressants and whiskey did. This American Airlines passenger urinated at his seat also because he drunk. Here a passenger melted down due to delays. After Blac Chyna’s meltdown she was arrested for drug possession.Drinking and drugs often make people happier. Lots of people drink on flights so that they can relax. Why did these particular passengers get angry? The alcohol and drugs no doubt contributed to a reduction in inhibition, but the fact that they got angry instead of telling everybody "I love you, man!" may well be explained by some of the social factors suggested by the original study.
I'm intrigued enough to be interested in another, larger study on the same topic, to see if its results are confirmed.
posted by clawsoon at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
Air rage isn't about class. It's about waiting hundreds of years for lemon-soaked paper napkins which you know and I know will never arrive, and wishing that there were no such things as robot flight crews or stasis fields.
(Maybe I need to start flying on better airlines.)
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 12:14 PM on May 3, 2016 [22 favorites]
(Maybe I need to start flying on better airlines.)
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 12:14 PM on May 3, 2016 [22 favorites]
list of people who should immediately perish on the plane (a WiP):
- the stinky chain smoker who smells like they're literally smoking 15 cigarettes right now just from the stench emanating from their very soul
- the future murder victim who thinks it is okay to spray cologne or perfume or hairspray on themselves in the cabin
- the parent who does not stop their child from hitting me with their toy
- the man who looks at me with headphones and a sleep mask on and a fucking blanket over my head and decides that this means i want to talk to him at length on the subject of his choice
- that one lady who leaned across me to open the window covering when i specifically closed it to keep the blinding sun out of my eyes during an epic transcontinental migraine, TWICE, EVEN AFTER I EXPLAINED WHY I CLOSED IT, I WILL FIND YOU MARK MY WORDS WOMAN I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL PAY
- people who act like a crying baby is literally the worst possible thing that can happen on a plane
- people who act like you can just tell a crying baby to be quiet
- people who act like loudly shaming the parents of a crying baby is the best way to solve the problem of a crying baby
- but also lbr crying babies, you're on the list
- coffee breath heavy breathers
ok im reading the article now
posted by poffin boffin at 12:17 PM on May 3, 2016 [77 favorites]
- the stinky chain smoker who smells like they're literally smoking 15 cigarettes right now just from the stench emanating from their very soul
- the future murder victim who thinks it is okay to spray cologne or perfume or hairspray on themselves in the cabin
- the parent who does not stop their child from hitting me with their toy
- the man who looks at me with headphones and a sleep mask on and a fucking blanket over my head and decides that this means i want to talk to him at length on the subject of his choice
- that one lady who leaned across me to open the window covering when i specifically closed it to keep the blinding sun out of my eyes during an epic transcontinental migraine, TWICE, EVEN AFTER I EXPLAINED WHY I CLOSED IT, I WILL FIND YOU MARK MY WORDS WOMAN I WILL FIND YOU AND YOU WILL PAY
- people who act like a crying baby is literally the worst possible thing that can happen on a plane
- people who act like you can just tell a crying baby to be quiet
- people who act like loudly shaming the parents of a crying baby is the best way to solve the problem of a crying baby
- but also lbr crying babies, you're on the list
- coffee breath heavy breathers
ok im reading the article now
posted by poffin boffin at 12:17 PM on May 3, 2016 [77 favorites]
“One might reasonably expect that upper-class passengers would feel humbled or guilty on flights where their privileged position is more visible to less privileged people. Instead DeCelles and Norton found the opposite.”
On a domestic flight that's not between New York and LA or SF, 95% of the people sitting in first class aren't going to actually be from the upper class, they're people who fly twice a week or more for their jobs who are getting upgraded based on their frequent flyer status.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 12:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [24 favorites]
On a domestic flight that's not between New York and LA or SF, 95% of the people sitting in first class aren't going to actually be from the upper class, they're people who fly twice a week or more for their jobs who are getting upgraded based on their frequent flyer status.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 12:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [24 favorites]
Alprozalam, and all bad things go away.
K, for the really long flights, maybe.
posted by aramaic at 12:19 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
K, for the really long flights, maybe.
posted by aramaic at 12:19 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
This sounds like psychological priming: if you get people to think of a concept, it subconsciously influences their behaviour afterward. (I.e., an experiment had volunteers do a word-matching task and then walk down a corridor to hand in the paper; those whose paper contained old-age-related words walked more slowly than the control group.) In this case, passengers who walk through a sumptuous first class on the way to their cattle-class seats get primed with "inequality", and presumably "winners are grinners", which makes them more territorial/competitive towards their fellow economy-class peasants.
It'd be interesting to see whether this experiment repeats itself in other situations; i.e., are the inhabitants of highly unequal cities more aggressive than those of more egalitarian ones, correcting for overall wealth?
posted by acb at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
It'd be interesting to see whether this experiment repeats itself in other situations; i.e., are the inhabitants of highly unequal cities more aggressive than those of more egalitarian ones, correcting for overall wealth?
posted by acb at 12:22 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
A friend of mine who did a few years of housekeeping at a big hotel nearby was telling us how people would quite often piss the bed after a night at the hotel, generally after a night of drinking, often on business trips. (On at least one occasion on two nights in a row.) Its not especially uncommon for people who have had a few to have a few too many then fall asleep and pee.
Its still pretty grim to do it on a plane though.
posted by biffa at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Its still pretty grim to do it on a plane though.
posted by biffa at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
In other airport news, you may want to get to the airport 4 hours early for a domestic flight, as security lines are now up to three hours long, apparently because the TSA thought everyone would want to pony up extra money to go in the rich persons fast lane (which can now take up to an hour), so they cut staff dramatically.
In other airport news; have you thought about driving? It might be quicker.
posted by el io at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
In other airport news; have you thought about driving? It might be quicker.
posted by el io at 12:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Honestly flying would be amazing if when they offered everyone sodas, they just offered them xanax as well.
I mean, it's my solution, and it fucking works dammit. You don't give a shit about anything in PB's list above after two bars and a margarita. You CAN'T.
When i run for president in 15 years this will be on the ticket.
posted by emptythought at 12:27 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
I mean, it's my solution, and it fucking works dammit. You don't give a shit about anything in PB's list above after two bars and a margarita. You CAN'T.
When i run for president in 15 years this will be on the ticket.
posted by emptythought at 12:27 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
I think it's the overall realization that if they could the airlines would anesthetize the passengers and stack them like cord wood to maximize space utilization. Being treated as nothing more than annoying cargo (what, you want a second bag of stale peanuts?) is inherently dehumanizing.
Leeloo Dallas Multipass!
posted by Fizz at 12:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
Leeloo Dallas Multipass!
posted by Fizz at 12:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
Funny, my air rage begins with TSA. When I flew last month, at San Jose International, there was one, ONE!!! ID checker for hundreds of people, causing said hundreds of people to be late for their flight, and then to be told by a TSA crowd controller to "To suck it up, it isn't the end of the world, you have other flights you can catch." Was great.
Not to mention, that "great, revolutionizing" start-up CLEAR that is capitalizing on people not wanting to be late for your flight, by paying $179 to be whisked to the front of the security line. CAPITALISM.
Fuck you too, San Jose International, and its Twitter account, for responding to complaints with, "Line up 2-3 hours before" as if people aren't already doing that.
posted by yueliang at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2016 [16 favorites]
Not to mention, that "great, revolutionizing" start-up CLEAR that is capitalizing on people not wanting to be late for your flight, by paying $179 to be whisked to the front of the security line. CAPITALISM.
Fuck you too, San Jose International, and its Twitter account, for responding to complaints with, "Line up 2-3 hours before" as if people aren't already doing that.
posted by yueliang at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2016 [16 favorites]
In other airport news, you may want to get to the airport 4 hours early for a domestic flight, as security lines are now up to three hours long...
That must depend on the airport. I flew IND to SFO and back recently and didn't have more than a 15 minute wait in the security line. Admittedly, IND is a small airport, but SFO sure isn't. They were really hustling people through at both airports.
Flying, itself, sucks considerably, though. Just another victim of capitalism's race to the bottom.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2016
That must depend on the airport. I flew IND to SFO and back recently and didn't have more than a 15 minute wait in the security line. Admittedly, IND is a small airport, but SFO sure isn't. They were really hustling people through at both airports.
Flying, itself, sucks considerably, though. Just another victim of capitalism's race to the bottom.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:30 PM on May 3, 2016
A friend of mine who did a few years of housekeeping at a big hotel nearby was telling us how people would quite often piss the bed after a night at the hotel, generally after a night of drinking, often on business trips. (On at least one occasion on two nights in a row.) Its not especially uncommon for people who have had a few to have a few too many then fall asleep and pee.
That'd be a nope unless they also pee in their own beds which very few people do.
People treat hotel rooms like toilets because somebody else has to clean them up and they will never have to sleep in that bed again. I'd bet the bed pissing only happens on the final day of their stay.
posted by srboisvert at 12:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
That'd be a nope unless they also pee in their own beds which very few people do.
People treat hotel rooms like toilets because somebody else has to clean them up and they will never have to sleep in that bed again. I'd bet the bed pissing only happens on the final day of their stay.
posted by srboisvert at 12:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
A. I'm glad I'm flying to Europe out of Oakland next month because the security line will be a mere 90 minutes instead of 3 hours (go tiny airports!) and B. Beware of hostile TSA agents on the ground. I always opt out of the machine and ask for a physical pat down. Usually the TSA folks are nice about it. But in Denver a few years back a reserve military guy (this is true, because other TSA agents confirmed he was a reserve guy, while apologizing) gave me shit for asking for a pat down. He actually tried to argue me out my choice while glaring at me because ... why?. I was disrupting the process, I guess.
posted by Bella Donna at 12:34 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Bella Donna at 12:34 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Thorzdad: Just another victim of capitalism's race to the bottom.
I always pick the cheapest flight I can.
You're welcome?
posted by clawsoon at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I always pick the cheapest flight I can.
You're welcome?
posted by clawsoon at 12:35 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Funny, my air rage begins with TSA.
Yup. I'm one transgression away from my wife refusing to fly with me anymore, and it's all because of the TSA. (I have a little song I sing in line at security. It's called "Security Theater." It has a catchy little tune. She now specifically mentions, days in advance of any flights, that I am absolutely forbidden from singing it within earshot.)
Mostly I just live in constant fear of ending up sitting next to poffin boffin, who I am 93% convinced would kill me before we took off.
posted by Mayor West at 12:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [23 favorites]
Yup. I'm one transgression away from my wife refusing to fly with me anymore, and it's all because of the TSA. (I have a little song I sing in line at security. It's called "Security Theater." It has a catchy little tune. She now specifically mentions, days in advance of any flights, that I am absolutely forbidden from singing it within earshot.)
Mostly I just live in constant fear of ending up sitting next to poffin boffin, who I am 93% convinced would kill me before we took off.
posted by Mayor West at 12:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [23 favorites]
Flying is basically a miracle, and I appreciate that, but I also take great pains not to fly any more than I can possibly help. I like airports, though, they're nice transitive spaces where people are ~doing a thing~ so there's less anxiety for me.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 12:37 PM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 12:37 PM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]
airlines would anesthetize the passengers and stack them like cord wood to maximize space utilization
If I could sign up for that--to walk into an airport, get an IV or a hypospray or a sock full of doorknobs to the back of the head and then wake up in my destination--I would probably pay full business-class fare.
I love flying--takeoff is the best! I can sleep most of the way through even very long flights! I have very short legs!--but everything else is so unpleasant that I'd rather not, mostly. I don't think being in first class would really make much of a difference, honestly.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:37 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
If I could sign up for that--to walk into an airport, get an IV or a hypospray or a sock full of doorknobs to the back of the head and then wake up in my destination--I would probably pay full business-class fare.
I love flying--takeoff is the best! I can sleep most of the way through even very long flights! I have very short legs!--but everything else is so unpleasant that I'd rather not, mostly. I don't think being in first class would really make much of a difference, honestly.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:37 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
Flying sucks because it is cheaper than it ever was. We as consumers have voted with our wallets and told the airlines in no uncertain terms that we prefer low price over quality of service. I don't blame the airlines for catering to that preference.
posted by Triplanetary at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by Triplanetary at 12:39 PM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]
For those of you complaining about Southwest, in Europe we have this thing called Ryanair which is based on Southwest, much like the way rubbing alcohol is based on Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
posted by kersplunk at 12:40 PM on May 3, 2016 [58 favorites]
posted by kersplunk at 12:40 PM on May 3, 2016 [58 favorites]
I used to travel a lot. I commuted from SF to NY weekly for 3 months. Anyway, I built up a lot of miles and segments. I am (I think) Platinum for life on American. Whenever I travel now it is usually in coach, but I get offered upgrades often. Sometimes when I am traveling with a family member like my son, they will offer me but not them an upgrade. My son always tells me, "Take the upgrade pops, I am ok in the back. Who wants to sit with those assholes anyway?" He never complains when I book the exit row and American will block the middle seat in our row because I am Platinum. I guess it makes sense that American and all airlines want to take care of their repeat customers.
The other perk you get as a Platinum flyer is the shorter TSA line, priority access. I think that is where the real hostility begins. I have actually feared for my safety when I essentially was offered the chance to cut about 100 places on line. My son didn't complain or call us assholes on that ridiculously shorter line.
posted by AugustWest at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
The other perk you get as a Platinum flyer is the shorter TSA line, priority access. I think that is where the real hostility begins. I have actually feared for my safety when I essentially was offered the chance to cut about 100 places on line. My son didn't complain or call us assholes on that ridiculously shorter line.
posted by AugustWest at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
Planes are the ultimate book reading zones. Can't take that away from me.
posted by oceanjesse at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by oceanjesse at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
el io: In other airport news; have you thought about driving? It might be quicker.
Yep, took the minivan nine hours each way on a vacation last week, and was deeeelighted not to be going anywhere near an airport.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2016
Yep, took the minivan nine hours each way on a vacation last week, and was deeeelighted not to be going anywhere near an airport.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:41 PM on May 3, 2016
t.u.s.o.m.c.: Flying is basically a miracle...
...which requires human sacrifice to perform -- namely, the coach passengers.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:42 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
...which requires human sacrifice to perform -- namely, the coach passengers.
posted by wenestvedt at 12:42 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
voted with our wallets
Attention airlines: the first among you to provide me with suitable dosages of K (calibrated for the flight duration) will earn my permanent loyalty and an additional $200 per flight.
posted by aramaic at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Attention airlines: the first among you to provide me with suitable dosages of K (calibrated for the flight duration) will earn my permanent loyalty and an additional $200 per flight.
posted by aramaic at 12:43 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
For those of you complaining about Southwest, in Europe we have this thing called Ryanair which is based on Southwest, much like the way rubbing alcohol is based on Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
For any of you having trouble with that analogy.
posted by phunniemee at 12:44 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]
For any of you having trouble with that analogy.
posted by phunniemee at 12:44 PM on May 3, 2016 [9 favorites]
For those of you complaining about Southwest, in Europe we have this thing called Ryanair which is based on Southwest, much like the way rubbing alcohol is based on Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
I dunno, Spirit Airlines can probably give them a run for their money. I work for a company that does flight bookings, and Spirit is one of the carriers we support. We've had an email thread bouncing around the office for WEEKS, questioning how we can possibly make the warnings about Spirit's fees & surcharges prominent enough to get customers to stop calling and complaining to us when their flight doubles in cost because they wanted to carry a purse onto the plane. We've already had to invent multiple classes of alert messages that didn't exist before.
(I keep reminding folks, to little avail, that <blink> is still supported, even though <marquee> has gone to that great Netscape Navigator in the sky)
posted by Mayor West at 12:47 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
I dunno, Spirit Airlines can probably give them a run for their money. I work for a company that does flight bookings, and Spirit is one of the carriers we support. We've had an email thread bouncing around the office for WEEKS, questioning how we can possibly make the warnings about Spirit's fees & surcharges prominent enough to get customers to stop calling and complaining to us when their flight doubles in cost because they wanted to carry a purse onto the plane. We've already had to invent multiple classes of alert messages that didn't exist before.
(I keep reminding folks, to little avail, that <blink> is still supported, even though <marquee> has gone to that great Netscape Navigator in the sky)
posted by Mayor West at 12:47 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
Air travel has become a nightmare I will no longer subject myself to. It would require a family emergency that HAD to be attended to by myself within strict time constraints to get me on a plane... someone I dearly love would have to be near death (and, for most of my family I would say "fuck it, I'm not flying").
The abuse we choose to subject ourselves to from the moment we attempt to purchase a fairly priced ticket to the moment we drive off of airport property is shameful, that we, as consumers, elect to participate makes us part of the problem.
Get on board, sheeple, your bag of stale pretzels awaits you.
posted by HuronBob at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
The abuse we choose to subject ourselves to from the moment we attempt to purchase a fairly priced ticket to the moment we drive off of airport property is shameful, that we, as consumers, elect to participate makes us part of the problem.
Get on board, sheeple, your bag of stale pretzels awaits you.
posted by HuronBob at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
One problem with consumer capitalism at a large scale: in a sufficiently large population, there are lots of people with a higher pain threshold than you. They're the ones who, in aggregate, determine what the market will bear.
posted by acb at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2016 [12 favorites]
posted by acb at 12:50 PM on May 3, 2016 [12 favorites]
> We as consumers have voted with our wallets and told the airlines in no uncertain terms that we prefer low price over quality of service.
I know people who would probably choose to fly in human-sized dog carriers in cargo (or wherever they put animals on flights) if this were an option that would save them a few bucks.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:51 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I know people who would probably choose to fly in human-sized dog carriers in cargo (or wherever they put animals on flights) if this were an option that would save them a few bucks.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:51 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I think what causes irritability in an airline cabin is the scarcity problem. There's a finite (and noticeable) scarcity of resources on a plane - lack of bin space, lack of leg space, arm rests, stuff like that. When faced with those scarcities, people naturally revert to taking what they can because there's not going to be any left if they hesitate. Hence the long pre-boarding lines at the gate in terminals already serving more people than they were designed for, the bum rush for the overhead bins, the manspreading and elbowing for arm rests.
And I get it! A lot of it's, like, hey, I've got just as much right to a space in the bin as the next person! We all paid the same fare after all. But you got on the plane first and took up three spots in the overhead because you're a selfish jackass that brought a too-big roll-aboard on and put it in sideways despite repeated instructions not to do that and then jammed your puffy coat next to it and now the flight attendant's closed that bin with just your fucking bag in it. So I totally understand why I would want to "accidentally" drop my bag on your head when we're deplaning at the other end.
Anyway, my personal burn-it-to-the-ground-and-salt-the-earth pet peeve is the person who does not seem to understand the concept of headphones. Your phone has a jack, use it. I don't need to hear the sound effects for whatever slot machine app you're playing (which it invariably is, somehow. That or children. Teach your children how to use headphones, people).
posted by backseatpilot at 12:52 PM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]
And I get it! A lot of it's, like, hey, I've got just as much right to a space in the bin as the next person! We all paid the same fare after all. But you got on the plane first and took up three spots in the overhead because you're a selfish jackass that brought a too-big roll-aboard on and put it in sideways despite repeated instructions not to do that and then jammed your puffy coat next to it and now the flight attendant's closed that bin with just your fucking bag in it. So I totally understand why I would want to "accidentally" drop my bag on your head when we're deplaning at the other end.
Anyway, my personal burn-it-to-the-ground-and-salt-the-earth pet peeve is the person who does not seem to understand the concept of headphones. Your phone has a jack, use it. I don't need to hear the sound effects for whatever slot machine app you're playing (which it invariably is, somehow. That or children. Teach your children how to use headphones, people).
posted by backseatpilot at 12:52 PM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]
backseatpilot: Your phone has a jack, use it. I don't need to hear the sound effects for whatever slot machine app you're playing (which it invariably is, somehow. That or children. Teach your children how to use headphones, people).
First: Eponysterical.
Second: I keep trying to find the headphone jack in my kid, but none of the existing holes seem to work.
posted by clawsoon at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [20 favorites]
First: Eponysterical.
Second: I keep trying to find the headphone jack in my kid, but none of the existing holes seem to work.
posted by clawsoon at 12:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [20 favorites]
I think it's the overall realization that if they could the airlines would anesthetize the passengers and stack them like cord wood to maximize space utilization
No, it's the realization that they could, and have not done so. I would vastly prefer being knocked out and waking at my destination apparently instantaneously, albeit groggy and a little sore.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:56 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
No, it's the realization that they could, and have not done so. I would vastly prefer being knocked out and waking at my destination apparently instantaneously, albeit groggy and a little sore.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 12:56 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
> The abuse we choose to subject ourselves to from the moment we attempt to purchase a fairly priced ticket to the moment we drive off of airport property is shameful, that we, as consumers, elect to participate makes us part of the problem.
To be fair to airlines, this is true of a lot of things we buy.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2016
To be fair to airlines, this is true of a lot of things we buy.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:59 PM on May 3, 2016
Oh, hey, you know what else makes flying awful, and is also a subject with the emotional-volatility-quotient of Israel/Palestine? People who recline their seats when they're sitting in front of you!
posted by Mayor West at 1:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Mayor West at 1:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Ryanair is like bad booze. Sometimes it's all you can afford but you always hate yourself afterward. Also before and during.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 1:04 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
Last year I had to fly in and out of Venice with a guitar. This is something I've done to lots of places. In the old days I'd just turn up with the guitar, the person at check-in would tell me to take it to the Oversize desk and I'd watch it trundle off on the conveyor belt, wondering if that was the last time I'd see it in one piece. I could do the argument with the check-in desk person, but I'm over that and have just accepted that guitars are mortal, and one day their time will come. But airlines seem to have started charging for the guitar as an extra bag. So that time flying in and out of Venice, I discovered that it was cheaper to buy one economy and one Club Class (this was British Airways) which gave me the extra bag both ways, than it was to buy two economy with extra bags.
I didn't really know what this meant, apart from the fact that I'd be getting on to the plane a tiny bit earlier.
The Club Class flight was the return flight. I shared a taxi to the airport with someone who'd flown a lot, and mentioned the Club Class thing, as a curiosity. I was enthusiastically appraised of all the things I didn't realise, including the fact that there was an actual Club (I thought it was just a figure of speech). My friend gave me very precise instructions on what to do (I didn't even know about the Priority Lane, I'm such a pleb), and I found myself in the BA Lounge. I found a corner to lurk in, hoping I wouldn't be ejected, despite the fact that I'D BOUGHT THE FUCKING TICKET. I wondered how many free sandwiches and bottles of beer I could get away with taking, before succumbing to a feeling of social insecurity. The answer turned out to be three, which I was quite embarrassed about.
I read a free newspaper and at the appointed time trundled out to catch my flight which, yes, I got on to a little bit earlier than most people. The stewardess was extremely nice, like proper nice, not stewardess nice, offering me seconds or, indeed, thirds (though the flight was empty, as only a handful of obsessive Nic Roeg fans want to go to Venice in January). There were linen napkins, comfortable chairs and real cutlery. I felt a tremendous sense of fraudulence.
It was a tremendous political awakening. I came to the following conclusions:
1. If you pay the extra for the Club Class ticket, most of the things that make air travel unpleasant go away.
2. Airlines are actually designed to carry the people at the front of the plane. But in order that they don't lose all the money, they have to carry the hundreds of hoi polloi at the back of the plane, too.
3. The food is really nice, if you like snacks, nice food having been essentially banned from the rest of the airport. You know, the kind of sandwiches that are plates of huge chunks of filling wrapped in thin slices of fluffy bread, rather than a cardboard packet containing slices of semi-stale bread glued together with a thin film of filling.
4. Even if the ticket costs a bit more (remembering that I'm obliged to pay an extra £60 - 100 for the guitar in any case), you can probably consume the difference in free beer and sandwiches (especially at airport prices) if you get to the airport early enough.
which suggests:
5. Once you can afford to get into The Club, everything is free. If you can't, everything is expensive.
In April I had to do it again, so I did the same thing (although this time it was a bit more expensive than the two economy flights). As an experiment, I decided that instead of consuming as much as I thought I could get away with, I'd see how much I could possibly consume. The experiment was a failure, in that I lost all count and it was a miracle I made it onto the plane. Fun, though, and if circumstances conspire to make it a rational decision highly recommended.
On the other hand I'd rather stay at home than fly Ryanair. If I found myself in a foreign country and the only way to get home was Ryanair, I'd rather stay where I was and apply for citizenship.
posted by Grangousier at 1:09 PM on May 3, 2016 [45 favorites]
I didn't really know what this meant, apart from the fact that I'd be getting on to the plane a tiny bit earlier.
The Club Class flight was the return flight. I shared a taxi to the airport with someone who'd flown a lot, and mentioned the Club Class thing, as a curiosity. I was enthusiastically appraised of all the things I didn't realise, including the fact that there was an actual Club (I thought it was just a figure of speech). My friend gave me very precise instructions on what to do (I didn't even know about the Priority Lane, I'm such a pleb), and I found myself in the BA Lounge. I found a corner to lurk in, hoping I wouldn't be ejected, despite the fact that I'D BOUGHT THE FUCKING TICKET. I wondered how many free sandwiches and bottles of beer I could get away with taking, before succumbing to a feeling of social insecurity. The answer turned out to be three, which I was quite embarrassed about.
I read a free newspaper and at the appointed time trundled out to catch my flight which, yes, I got on to a little bit earlier than most people. The stewardess was extremely nice, like proper nice, not stewardess nice, offering me seconds or, indeed, thirds (though the flight was empty, as only a handful of obsessive Nic Roeg fans want to go to Venice in January). There were linen napkins, comfortable chairs and real cutlery. I felt a tremendous sense of fraudulence.
It was a tremendous political awakening. I came to the following conclusions:
1. If you pay the extra for the Club Class ticket, most of the things that make air travel unpleasant go away.
2. Airlines are actually designed to carry the people at the front of the plane. But in order that they don't lose all the money, they have to carry the hundreds of hoi polloi at the back of the plane, too.
3. The food is really nice, if you like snacks, nice food having been essentially banned from the rest of the airport. You know, the kind of sandwiches that are plates of huge chunks of filling wrapped in thin slices of fluffy bread, rather than a cardboard packet containing slices of semi-stale bread glued together with a thin film of filling.
4. Even if the ticket costs a bit more (remembering that I'm obliged to pay an extra £60 - 100 for the guitar in any case), you can probably consume the difference in free beer and sandwiches (especially at airport prices) if you get to the airport early enough.
which suggests:
5. Once you can afford to get into The Club, everything is free. If you can't, everything is expensive.
In April I had to do it again, so I did the same thing (although this time it was a bit more expensive than the two economy flights). As an experiment, I decided that instead of consuming as much as I thought I could get away with, I'd see how much I could possibly consume. The experiment was a failure, in that I lost all count and it was a miracle I made it onto the plane. Fun, though, and if circumstances conspire to make it a rational decision highly recommended.
On the other hand I'd rather stay at home than fly Ryanair. If I found myself in a foreign country and the only way to get home was Ryanair, I'd rather stay where I was and apply for citizenship.
posted by Grangousier at 1:09 PM on May 3, 2016 [45 favorites]
Teach your children to use headphones
OTOH, deliberately not using headphones could be (along with manspreading, and other acts of passive nonspecific aggression) an alpha-male dominance display, also triggered by the awareness that we live in a highly unequal dog-eat-dog society, and it's every man for himself, so you'd better preemptively show the other sumbitch who's top dog in advance.
posted by acb at 1:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
OTOH, deliberately not using headphones could be (along with manspreading, and other acts of passive nonspecific aggression) an alpha-male dominance display, also triggered by the awareness that we live in a highly unequal dog-eat-dog society, and it's every man for himself, so you'd better preemptively show the other sumbitch who's top dog in advance.
posted by acb at 1:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
So, it's like Snowpiercer, but the food is even worse.
posted by FJT at 1:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]
posted by FJT at 1:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [11 favorites]
Did the lower class folks on the Titanic similarly feel class envy? Well for them and their betters, things evened out.
posted by Postroad at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by Postroad at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2016
(And yes, I know that there is no ethological basis for the concept of "alpha-male" in the animal kingdom, the wolf studies from which the concept originated having been methodologically flawed; but this fallacy has grown legs in human culture, particularly in the age of neoliberal precarity, which makes it, unfortunately, A Thing.)
posted by acb at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by acb at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
well yeah, when everyone within earshot hears how splendidly I crushed that candy, men will fear me and women will flock to me
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2016 [25 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:13 PM on May 3, 2016 [25 favorites]
everyone gets to recline and the people in the non reclining row at the back take one for the team; they drink top shelf liquor for free the entire flight and can get a first class upgrade on their next flight
also there's a lottery before the flight and whoever is chosen gets airlocked as a sacrifice to horus
posted by poffin boffin at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2016 [22 favorites]
also there's a lottery before the flight and whoever is chosen gets airlocked as a sacrifice to horus
posted by poffin boffin at 1:14 PM on May 3, 2016 [22 favorites]
It was a tremendous political awakening. I came to the following conclusions:
Did you get the hot towels?
posted by octobersurprise at 1:15 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Did you get the hot towels?
posted by octobersurprise at 1:15 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I actually don't remember, but there were several fresh bread rolls.
posted by Grangousier at 1:16 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Grangousier at 1:16 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
On a domestic flight that's not between New York and LA or SF, 95% of the people sitting in first class aren't going to actually be from the upper class, they're people who fly twice a week or more for their jobs who are getting upgraded based on their frequent flyer status.
Yeah I'm not convinced the underlying phenomenon is as much class hostility as it is frequent traveler vs. the world hostility.
I have never hated humans more in my life than I have waiting in security behind an entire line full of people who were flying for like the second time ever, dragging 1930's steamer ship trunks full of homemade kombucha and jamón legs as carry ons, arguing about which phase of matter their costco size bottle of lotion is currently in.
Meanwhile I am already undressed with my clothes in a neatly folded pile, laptop out, liquids bagged, shoes and belt off, boarding pass in my teeth. That is the real inequality.
And then you finally get on the plane and THEY WON'T. STEP OUT. OF THE AISLE.
posted by danny the boy at 1:16 PM on May 3, 2016 [71 favorites]
Yeah I'm not convinced the underlying phenomenon is as much class hostility as it is frequent traveler vs. the world hostility.
I have never hated humans more in my life than I have waiting in security behind an entire line full of people who were flying for like the second time ever, dragging 1930's steamer ship trunks full of homemade kombucha and jamón legs as carry ons, arguing about which phase of matter their costco size bottle of lotion is currently in.
Meanwhile I am already undressed with my clothes in a neatly folded pile, laptop out, liquids bagged, shoes and belt off, boarding pass in my teeth. That is the real inequality.
And then you finally get on the plane and THEY WON'T. STEP OUT. OF THE AISLE.
posted by danny the boy at 1:16 PM on May 3, 2016 [71 favorites]
Dude, "alpha-male" is not the preferred nomenclature. "Apex predator", please.
posted by FJT at 1:17 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
posted by FJT at 1:17 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
It's not the content of the sound of your crushing the candy, but the fact that you're imposing the sound on the ears of your fellow passengers, dominating them. You're effectively taking a testosterone-rich territorial piss on their eardrums in doing so.
posted by acb at 1:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by acb at 1:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
As far as I can tell, air rage is caused by assholes.
posted by humboldt32 at 1:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
posted by humboldt32 at 1:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
What happens to people who play their Candy Crush loud up in First Class, I wonder?
posted by clawsoon at 1:19 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by clawsoon at 1:19 PM on May 3, 2016
Or, it could be that the relentless shrinking of airline seats in coach has reached the point that it's no longer tolerable by the average human.
posted by praemunire at 1:21 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by praemunire at 1:21 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
In other airport news; have you thought about driving? It might be quicker.
There's a problem with that. You'll kill people.
If you encourage people to drive, such as by raising airline ticket prices, or generally making airports shitty, more people will elect to drive.
But every flight is orders of magnitude safer than the equivalent distance driven by car. Your flight will likely be safer than the car trip you took just driving to the airport.
So, yeah, crappy airport experiences -- TSA, paying for bags, fighting for overhead space -- are literally killing people.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:22 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
There's a problem with that. You'll kill people.
If you encourage people to drive, such as by raising airline ticket prices, or generally making airports shitty, more people will elect to drive.
But every flight is orders of magnitude safer than the equivalent distance driven by car. Your flight will likely be safer than the car trip you took just driving to the airport.
So, yeah, crappy airport experiences -- TSA, paying for bags, fighting for overhead space -- are literally killing people.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:22 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
One of the pilots in my flying club has said that if his kids get rowdy in the back of the plane he'll climb up to like 12,000 feet (the planes aren't pressurized) and the lack of air will make them fall asleep. So in the interest of killing two birds with one stone (bad choice of words?), I humbly suggest that the airlines start reducing the cabin air pressure to encourage the passengers to pass right the fuck out. It'll also save on wear and tear on the fuselage.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [15 favorites]
posted by backseatpilot at 1:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [15 favorites]
Flying is weird because it only gets better if you do it a lot. If you travel once a year or something, you're going to suffer bag check lines, TSA lines, tiny seats with little choice, boarding late and no overhead room, etc.
Which makes people think "I'm glad I don't have to fly a lot!". Which is fair, but the actual experience of being a frequent flyer is night and day. Almost no line if you need to check a bag or do something at the counter, almost no line at TSA and you don't have to take anything out of your bag or take your shoes off or even take your jacket/belt/etc off, you can choose the good seats before everyone else, you get on first and put your stuff away and just relax. And sometimes you get a surprise at check in and are ushered into a magical fantasy land of individual seat pods that lay flat and have real food with plates and warm cookies in baskets brought around and choirs of angels and stuff.
posted by thefoxgod at 1:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
Which makes people think "I'm glad I don't have to fly a lot!". Which is fair, but the actual experience of being a frequent flyer is night and day. Almost no line if you need to check a bag or do something at the counter, almost no line at TSA and you don't have to take anything out of your bag or take your shoes off or even take your jacket/belt/etc off, you can choose the good seats before everyone else, you get on first and put your stuff away and just relax. And sometimes you get a surprise at check in and are ushered into a magical fantasy land of individual seat pods that lay flat and have real food with plates and warm cookies in baskets brought around and choirs of angels and stuff.
posted by thefoxgod at 1:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
The real inequality is the 1% in their private jets, invisible to the guy stuck in coach seething over not getting a first class bump.
First class vs. coach is just one tiny manifestation of the have-nots pitted against the have-slightly-mores, which is exactly the point of a separate infrastructure only accessible to the truly elite.
posted by T.D. Strange at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [24 favorites]
First class vs. coach is just one tiny manifestation of the have-nots pitted against the have-slightly-mores, which is exactly the point of a separate infrastructure only accessible to the truly elite.
posted by T.D. Strange at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [24 favorites]
I got to hang out in the Rich People Lounge at the airport once, a few years ago.
I collected cookies and magazines and G&Ts for an hour. My friend, who had booked our tickets and was used to the amenities, was very gracious -- but I totally turned into Dan Ackroyd's "Trading Places" Santa.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]
I collected cookies and magazines and G&Ts for an hour. My friend, who had booked our tickets and was used to the amenities, was very gracious -- but I totally turned into Dan Ackroyd's "Trading Places" Santa.
posted by wenestvedt at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [6 favorites]
sigh. I will be flying from CA to Italy next week, coach of course. it is not possible to drive to Italy from Oakland as far as I am aware, so fly we must. yes it sucks, I have long legs, I'm paranoid about DVT, people in general suck and the TSA in particular. but I get to go to a whole nother country on another part of the planet. that is really incredible!
posted by supermedusa at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by supermedusa at 1:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
That'd be a nope unless they also pee in their own beds which very few people do.
How do you know?
posted by biffa at 1:27 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
How do you know?
posted by biffa at 1:27 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Closer to the point of the study: I get angrier when a BMW or Mercedes cuts me off while I'm riding my bike than I do when a Honda or Toyota cuts me off. (And since I'm riding in downtown Toronto, getting cut off by a luxury car happens a lot.)
To T.D. Strange's excellent point, though, I never get mad a people who cut me off with their private helicopters, since they're not travelling anywhere near my space anyway.
posted by clawsoon at 1:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
To T.D. Strange's excellent point, though, I never get mad a people who cut me off with their private helicopters, since they're not travelling anywhere near my space anyway.
posted by clawsoon at 1:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
I humbly suggest that the airlines start reducing the cabin air pressure to encourage the passengers to pass right the fuck out
I mean really, REALLY TRULY, medically, mechanically, what are the hazards of introducing a little nitrous to the mix? Cabin crew and pilots get gas blocking face masks for safety purposes, everyone else gets to relax. it's not like we're gonna survive anyway if we go down over water.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [13 favorites]
I mean really, REALLY TRULY, medically, mechanically, what are the hazards of introducing a little nitrous to the mix? Cabin crew and pilots get gas blocking face masks for safety purposes, everyone else gets to relax. it's not like we're gonna survive anyway if we go down over water.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:28 PM on May 3, 2016 [13 favorites]
I am flying for about 21 hours next week (2 flights) and the same 21 hours two weeks later and I am looking forward to smirking at the people walking past my business class seat and enjoying the free pyjamas.
Of course actually I will already be engrossed in a book but whatever, air miles are awesome.
posted by jeather at 1:30 PM on May 3, 2016
Of course actually I will already be engrossed in a book but whatever, air miles are awesome.
posted by jeather at 1:30 PM on May 3, 2016
Did the lower class folks on the Titanic similarly feel class envy? Well for them and their betters, things evened out.
Actually, they very emphatically did not. Yes, some rich people died. But overall, your chances of surviving the sinking of the Titanic improved dramatically the higher the class of your ticket.
posted by Naberius at 1:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
Actually, they very emphatically did not. Yes, some rich people died. But overall, your chances of surviving the sinking of the Titanic improved dramatically the higher the class of your ticket.
posted by Naberius at 1:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [10 favorites]
Yes, some rich people died. But overall, your chances of surviving the sinking of the Titanic improved dramatically the higher the class of your ticket.
I mean, I guess that's one redeeming feature of air travel.
posted by saturday_morning at 1:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
I mean, I guess that's one redeeming feature of air travel.
posted by saturday_morning at 1:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
Being treated as nothing more than annoying cargo
I fly cargo frequently, (military) on the cheap, and I would prefer it even if I had to pay airline prices for it. It's way, way, better. It turns out a lot of the shit they say you can't do in planes you totally can, it's just inconvenient for the flight attendant if there is one.
posted by corb at 1:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
I fly cargo frequently, (military) on the cheap, and I would prefer it even if I had to pay airline prices for it. It's way, way, better. It turns out a lot of the shit they say you can't do in planes you totally can, it's just inconvenient for the flight attendant if there is one.
posted by corb at 1:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
Please nobody tell me that business class gets better flotation devices and piddly little red whistles too
posted by saturday_morning at 1:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by saturday_morning at 1:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
first class actually folds up into a boat like inspector gadget's car except with free champagne
posted by poffin boffin at 1:34 PM on May 3, 2016 [16 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 1:34 PM on May 3, 2016 [16 favorites]
what are the hazards of introducing a little nitrous to the mix?
I take it we've all seen Almodovar's I'm So Excited? It would seem to be a key text at this point.
posted by Grangousier at 1:37 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I take it we've all seen Almodovar's I'm So Excited? It would seem to be a key text at this point.
posted by Grangousier at 1:37 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I'm thinking the Titanic had separate boarding entrances for the different class decks.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:38 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:38 PM on May 3, 2016
MetaFilter: A testosterone-rich territorial piss.
posted by Bella Donna at 1:38 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by Bella Donna at 1:38 PM on May 3, 2016
The real inequality is the 1% in their private jets, invisible to the guy stuck in coach seething over not getting a first class bump.
Yes, people preening themselves on sitting in business or first class (which, don't get me wrong, I miss desperately now that career shifts have taken them away from me as an occasional treat) are just showing how little they actually understand their place in the pecking order. If you're genuinely wealthy, you will just opt of the system altogether.
posted by praemunire at 1:39 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Yes, people preening themselves on sitting in business or first class (which, don't get me wrong, I miss desperately now that career shifts have taken them away from me as an occasional treat) are just showing how little they actually understand their place in the pecking order. If you're genuinely wealthy, you will just opt of the system altogether.
posted by praemunire at 1:39 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
What horseshit. I have flown first class on flights where it was relatively cheap to upgrade, and economy/steerage more times than I can count. The first class experience is downright silly and embarrassing for the most part, with one exception being that the seat actually feels humane. Not luxurious, just humane, for this 5'10" 160 pound average, non-huge person,making the idea of the economy class seat that much more hideous. Not once have I walked through first class with anything more than excitement that I might see a celebrity (never).
posted by docpops at 1:40 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by docpops at 1:40 PM on May 3, 2016
I have eighteen hours of plane time tomorrow stretched over a total of 25 hours from start to finish. I'm OK with that because any alternative way to get home would take weeks and I'd probably get kidnapped
posted by theodolite at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 1:42 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Normally I'm all for a good class struggle, but the following are things that primarily suck about flying:
- the expense
- stress about scheduling, nervousness about spectacular disasters, dealing with trains/taxis/hotels in unfamiliar places, and about the presentation or wedding or whatever you're actually going to do when you get there
- the TSA
- delays (my last trip which should theoretically take 2 hours and 40 minutes involved 5 hours of scheduled layovers PLUS 10 hours of unexpected equipment-related delays)
- being jammed into seats too narrow for your hips and/or shoulders and elbows, with a seat that will inevitably recline backwards and cut off any space you had for a laptop, and little space to wiggle around and keep
- crowds in general (the density, the noise, the smell, the always being in your way)
- airplane toilets, and the hassle of getting to them from your seat
- air quality, temperature and noise
- for some people, high altitudes = ear pain/headaches
posted by Foosnark at 1:47 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
- the expense
- stress about scheduling, nervousness about spectacular disasters, dealing with trains/taxis/hotels in unfamiliar places, and about the presentation or wedding or whatever you're actually going to do when you get there
- the TSA
- delays (my last trip which should theoretically take 2 hours and 40 minutes involved 5 hours of scheduled layovers PLUS 10 hours of unexpected equipment-related delays)
- being jammed into seats too narrow for your hips and/or shoulders and elbows, with a seat that will inevitably recline backwards and cut off any space you had for a laptop, and little space to wiggle around and keep
- crowds in general (the density, the noise, the smell, the always being in your way)
- airplane toilets, and the hassle of getting to them from your seat
- air quality, temperature and noise
- for some people, high altitudes = ear pain/headaches
posted by Foosnark at 1:47 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
In other airport news; have you thought about driving? It might be quicker.
Well, sure, but then you have people who don't have driver's licenses and don't have cars and who might just be unable to drive for other reasons.
Also note that the last time people on MetaFilter discussed trains, they were pooh-poohed as a terrible option for travel, so we can't think about them either. I guess the best thing to do is just never go anywhere based on this idea.
posted by mephron at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Well, sure, but then you have people who don't have driver's licenses and don't have cars and who might just be unable to drive for other reasons.
Also note that the last time people on MetaFilter discussed trains, they were pooh-poohed as a terrible option for travel, so we can't think about them either. I guess the best thing to do is just never go anywhere based on this idea.
posted by mephron at 1:55 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
And then you finally get on the plane and THEY WON'T. STEP OUT. OF THE AISLE.
The real hack here is, as i discovered a few flights ago, getting lit enough that you don't fucking care. I sit in my seat until the ENTIRE PLANE IS EMPTY. Anyone in the aisle, or grabbing a bag at all? my ass is not moving.
I've done this when i have a connecting flight too, and i still wasn't late. The amount of time you spend seated is maybe 10 minutes max, and it's so much less stressful.
People have glared at me too and it's like... ok? Go ahead and stand there hunched over while people jostle in to you fighting over their bags like it's the last playstation on black friday.
It's also awesome to have a chance to get your stuff, throw your bag over your shoulder, and jam your headphones back in it, etc without feeling like you're that one asshole blocking 4 people in to the parking garage while you make a 12 point turn out of your space.
As for getting on, i just put my bag in the first open slot. I never try and put it near my seat. Who cares where it goes. Then i just stand with my hands in my pockets and my headphones on.
posted by emptythought at 1:58 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
The real hack here is, as i discovered a few flights ago, getting lit enough that you don't fucking care. I sit in my seat until the ENTIRE PLANE IS EMPTY. Anyone in the aisle, or grabbing a bag at all? my ass is not moving.
I've done this when i have a connecting flight too, and i still wasn't late. The amount of time you spend seated is maybe 10 minutes max, and it's so much less stressful.
People have glared at me too and it's like... ok? Go ahead and stand there hunched over while people jostle in to you fighting over their bags like it's the last playstation on black friday.
It's also awesome to have a chance to get your stuff, throw your bag over your shoulder, and jam your headphones back in it, etc without feeling like you're that one asshole blocking 4 people in to the parking garage while you make a 12 point turn out of your space.
As for getting on, i just put my bag in the first open slot. I never try and put it near my seat. Who cares where it goes. Then i just stand with my hands in my pockets and my headphones on.
posted by emptythought at 1:58 PM on May 3, 2016 [8 favorites]
trains ARE a terrible option for travel within the US unless you are near a major transport hub and are going to a location near a major transport hub, come on.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:59 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 1:59 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
I love flying. Once, I was on an American flight seated next to an actual 375-pound bodybuilder, and the guy in front of me reclined his seat, and I still loved flying. It's wonderful. I would be one of those people who lives in airports if I could. The only reason I don't go to the airport five hours before takeoff is because my company foolishly expects me to do some work before a 3pm flight. Bah. TSA agents are actually pretty fun if you talk to them. Gate checking is like the best thing ever (I get a checked bag for free, and I don't even have to wait at baggage claim?!). I even love O'Hare (fuck Atlanta though). There's very little about flying I don't like.
posted by kevinbelt at 1:59 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by kevinbelt at 1:59 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
I guess the best thing to do is just never go anywhere
That would be the general preference of your Overlords, yes. If Servitors are permitted to move freely, they might begin to acquire some of the rights presently restricted to Capital, and you obviously don't want that to happen.
posted by aramaic at 2:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
That would be the general preference of your Overlords, yes. If Servitors are permitted to move freely, they might begin to acquire some of the rights presently restricted to Capital, and you obviously don't want that to happen.
posted by aramaic at 2:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
Speaking of class struggle and airports, one time while trying to board a plane I was told to go to the back of the lane (which was an open part of the airport in front of a gate door that had been separated by 4 feet of that retractable railing between 2 posts), because I had walked up on the side of the railing that was for FIRST CLASS PASSENGERS and I was in coach. I looked at the gate attendant for a long time and the only thing I could think of was, "You realize you are fomenting the revolution right now." Then I turned around, walked 4 feet back on the right side of the railing, and then walked 4 feet up to the gate again on the left side of the railing, at which point the gate attendant finally deigned to scan my ticket.
For those of you complaining about Southwest, in Europe we have this thing called Ryanair which is based on Southwest, much like the way rubbing alcohol is based on Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
Ryanair is the reason I landed in the Sevilla airport after my vacation wearing an orange tank top, a blue blouse, a purple sweater, a navy blue hoodie, and hiking boots . . . at 6 in the morning. Then I had about 3 hours to kill before my bus left, so I took a nap in the park and it was hobo-tastic.
posted by chainsofreedom at 2:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
For those of you complaining about Southwest, in Europe we have this thing called Ryanair which is based on Southwest, much like the way rubbing alcohol is based on Châteauneuf-du-Pape.
Ryanair is the reason I landed in the Sevilla airport after my vacation wearing an orange tank top, a blue blouse, a purple sweater, a navy blue hoodie, and hiking boots . . . at 6 in the morning. Then I had about 3 hours to kill before my bus left, so I took a nap in the park and it was hobo-tastic.
posted by chainsofreedom at 2:01 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I experienced what I think was a flying first for me last week. I was on an American Airlines flight out of Denver where it appeared to me as if actually the majority of seats on the plane, not just first class, were some sort of "upgraded" seat ("Extra Legroom", etc.) with just of a handful of seats at the very back of the plane being typical coach seats. I usually don't get a complex about such things, but it really felt like there was a huge spotlight on me announcing, "THIS DUDE WAS TOO CHEAP TO SPRING THE EXTRA $56 BUCKS FOR A BETTER SEAT, WHAT A LOSER, AMIRITE?" Added bonus: Was sitting behind someone who decided to recline the entire flight. I would have had more legroom in an MRI machine.
posted by The Gooch at 2:02 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by The Gooch at 2:02 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Go ahead and stand there hunched over
As a short person, I don't need to hunch. And after a significant amount of time being crowded in a plane seat, I am much, much happier to be able to stand up.
posted by jeather at 2:03 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
As a short person, I don't need to hunch. And after a significant amount of time being crowded in a plane seat, I am much, much happier to be able to stand up.
posted by jeather at 2:03 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
But every flight is orders of magnitude safer than the equivalent distance driven by car.
I am a very nervous (okay, terrified) flyer, and I've often thought that equivalent-time might be a fairer way to look at it. After all, you wouldn't have New Yorkers going on vacation in SF very often if driving were the only option; they'd pick somewhere 6 hours away by car instead. I remember trying to do some back-of-the-envelope calculations to validate my fears a while ago and deciding that if flying were as dangerous as driving on a per-hour basis, you would have about two 737s crashing per year. Which would be a really bad year for aviation, but not completely impossible. (I didn't attempt to account for drunk drivers or non-seatbelt-wearers in my calculations.)
So I am irrational, but not as irrational as you may have thought. (This article says they're about equal, but it's from 1998 and flying has become safer. But so has driving.)
posted by Ralston McTodd at 2:06 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I am a very nervous (okay, terrified) flyer, and I've often thought that equivalent-time might be a fairer way to look at it. After all, you wouldn't have New Yorkers going on vacation in SF very often if driving were the only option; they'd pick somewhere 6 hours away by car instead. I remember trying to do some back-of-the-envelope calculations to validate my fears a while ago and deciding that if flying were as dangerous as driving on a per-hour basis, you would have about two 737s crashing per year. Which would be a really bad year for aviation, but not completely impossible. (I didn't attempt to account for drunk drivers or non-seatbelt-wearers in my calculations.)
So I am irrational, but not as irrational as you may have thought. (This article says they're about equal, but it's from 1998 and flying has become safer. But so has driving.)
posted by Ralston McTodd at 2:06 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I dunno, Spirit Airlines can probably give them a run for their money.
I am still, years later, pissed at a boss of mine who bought me a Spirit Airlines ticket for my field site because they were cheap and he heard they were sort of shitty but he hadn't yet tested it out for himself.
And then he heard my enraged, frothing diatribe about the constant delays, the three surly and disinterested employees present for the entire airline in fucking ATL, the multiple gate changes within an hour, the inability to haul my precious acoustic equipment through their nigh empty baggage check without it getting lost, the trip to their hub airport in Ft Lauderdale which was mysteriously damp on every possible surface and smelt strongly of stale beer and child piss...
...he heard all of this, and then the motherfucker booked me another flight on Spirit Airlines.
posted by sciatrix at 2:08 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
I am still, years later, pissed at a boss of mine who bought me a Spirit Airlines ticket for my field site because they were cheap and he heard they were sort of shitty but he hadn't yet tested it out for himself.
And then he heard my enraged, frothing diatribe about the constant delays, the three surly and disinterested employees present for the entire airline in fucking ATL, the multiple gate changes within an hour, the inability to haul my precious acoustic equipment through their nigh empty baggage check without it getting lost, the trip to their hub airport in Ft Lauderdale which was mysteriously damp on every possible surface and smelt strongly of stale beer and child piss...
...he heard all of this, and then the motherfucker booked me another flight on Spirit Airlines.
posted by sciatrix at 2:08 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
I experienced what I think was a flying first for me last week. I was on an American Airlines flight out of Denver where it appeared to me as if actually the majority of seats on the plane, not just first class, were some sort of "upgraded" seat ("Extra Legroom", etc.) with just of a handful of seats at the very back of the plane being typical coach seats. I usually don't get a complex about such things, but it really felt like there was a huge spotlight on me announcing, "THIS DUDE WAS TOO CHEAP TO SPRING THE EXTRA $56 BUCKS FOR A BETTER SEAT, WHAT A LOSER, AMIRITE?" Added bonus: Was sitting behind someone who decided to recline the entire flight. I would have had more legroom in an MRI machine.
In a couple months i'm flying to france. My mom chipped in to upgrade me from a multiple-transfers cattle class mess of flights that would have lasted like 18-20 hours to non stop right when i was about to order, which depressingly was only a couple hundred bucks more once i actually looked.
Then i looked at the seat map, and discovered that almost all the seats are exactly as you described. The seats i had gotten by default were jammed in the back near the bathrooms, or in the windowless center section in the very back. For $100, i could upgrade to "premium standard" or economy or whatever their phrasing was, which entitled me to a normally spaced seat both front to back and side to side and like... sandwiches and free well drinks.
$100. To get what was a normal seat a few years ago. She paid for it, and i still feel guilty.
I'm going to get hassled at CDG and blow a 4.0 on the breathalyzer, or something, after i drink enough drinks to not be mad about the state of reality. Seriously, those seats look like they have the spacing of the rows of interlocking childrens sized plastic classroom chairs that churches have.
As a short person, I don't need to hunch. And after a significant amount of time being crowded in a plane seat, I am much, much happier to be able to stand up.
Ah, yea this is a fair point. I'm 6'2 without shoes on, and i have long legs. There is no position in a plane that isn't at least kind of uncomfortable. And at least if i'm sitting, my weight isn't on my now completely borked knees.(either from the airporting process, or from the position i'm in seated). Good times! The plane has to be like, a 747 or 777 for me to stand up straight in a lot of positions. 737? bumpfest.
posted by emptythought at 2:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
In a couple months i'm flying to france. My mom chipped in to upgrade me from a multiple-transfers cattle class mess of flights that would have lasted like 18-20 hours to non stop right when i was about to order, which depressingly was only a couple hundred bucks more once i actually looked.
Then i looked at the seat map, and discovered that almost all the seats are exactly as you described. The seats i had gotten by default were jammed in the back near the bathrooms, or in the windowless center section in the very back. For $100, i could upgrade to "premium standard" or economy or whatever their phrasing was, which entitled me to a normally spaced seat both front to back and side to side and like... sandwiches and free well drinks.
$100. To get what was a normal seat a few years ago. She paid for it, and i still feel guilty.
I'm going to get hassled at CDG and blow a 4.0 on the breathalyzer, or something, after i drink enough drinks to not be mad about the state of reality. Seriously, those seats look like they have the spacing of the rows of interlocking childrens sized plastic classroom chairs that churches have.
As a short person, I don't need to hunch. And after a significant amount of time being crowded in a plane seat, I am much, much happier to be able to stand up.
Ah, yea this is a fair point. I'm 6'2 without shoes on, and i have long legs. There is no position in a plane that isn't at least kind of uncomfortable. And at least if i'm sitting, my weight isn't on my now completely borked knees.(either from the airporting process, or from the position i'm in seated). Good times! The plane has to be like, a 747 or 777 for me to stand up straight in a lot of positions. 737? bumpfest.
posted by emptythought at 2:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
trains ARE a terrible option for travel within the US unless you are near a major transport hub and are going to a location near a major transport hub, come on.
Once I was planning a spring break trip from Athens, GA to DC with an extremely nerdy friend. We were both VERY EXCITED by the prospect of taking the train, to the point of planning to drive to Atlanta, take the Amtrak, and just enjoy the journey itself. The novelty of trains was itself a draw to us. We were literally bouncing up and down in our chairs with excitement at getting to take a real long distance train journey.
Then I did the math and found that taking the Amtrak would take 12 hours once we left Atlanta (after an hour long drive) and also cost something like $400 apiece, whereas driving would take $380 in gas and could be done in something like 9 hours. Plus we could leave directly from Athens.
We drove to DC.
posted by sciatrix at 2:14 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Once I was planning a spring break trip from Athens, GA to DC with an extremely nerdy friend. We were both VERY EXCITED by the prospect of taking the train, to the point of planning to drive to Atlanta, take the Amtrak, and just enjoy the journey itself. The novelty of trains was itself a draw to us. We were literally bouncing up and down in our chairs with excitement at getting to take a real long distance train journey.
Then I did the math and found that taking the Amtrak would take 12 hours once we left Atlanta (after an hour long drive) and also cost something like $400 apiece, whereas driving would take $380 in gas and could be done in something like 9 hours. Plus we could leave directly from Athens.
We drove to DC.
posted by sciatrix at 2:14 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
now I'm wondering about the fastest non-airplane way from Kigali to Chicago. I figure a bus to Mombasa or Dar es Salaam, talk my way aboard a tramp steamer, throw the captain overboard. North, to Socotra. The pirates in these waters know only fear and strength. I will be their king. This stark rock of haunted caves and dragonsblood trees will be my throne. What was I talking about
posted by theodolite at 2:17 PM on May 3, 2016 [26 favorites]
posted by theodolite at 2:17 PM on May 3, 2016 [26 favorites]
I have two complaints about air travel, despite the fact that I prefer air travel for distances greater than a 12 hour drive, which I can do with my eyes closed (although my passengers and fellow drivers probably do not appreciate when that ACTUALLY happens). Neither of my complaints are explicitly about class.
The first is one that is partially because I am an outlier and partially because OPAS (other people are shits). I'm 6'7" and while I try to pick seats in coach with adequate pitch, most domestic aircraft do not offer greater than 32" pitch and at that length I am in solid contact with the back of the seat in front of me. I try to get an aisle seat because then I can at least slide a leg into the aisle if need be. The OPAS part comes in when Mr. or Ms. 5' 6" insists on jamming the seat ahead as far as it can possibly go. I try to let them know ahead of time that we are in a special symbiotic relationship, and with a little notice, I can arrange my legs so as to minimize lasting nerve and tissue damage--for either of us. The OPAS often loudly insist that they paid for their ticket and my legs be damned. I do not and will not employ one of those mechanical set jammers, but I also found out long ago that my arms extended have the mechanical advantage over their recliner lever.
The other major problem, which has gotten more pronounced to me as the mergers of United/Continental, American/USAir, and NW/Delta have been digested. While they will tell you that you should allow 60 minutes between connections, they will schedule tickets at 50 minutes and--in the case of American & Charlotte/Douglas, will put the flights at opposite ends of the universe, just to see if they can induce a coronary event. I have similar experiences at OHare, but Rick Bayless's Topolobampo kiosks greatly reduce my stress level.
People have bad experiences flying Southwest? I haven't, but I won't fly Spirit ever again after finding the used vomitorium bag in my seat pocket (and tray obviously unwiped) on a five hour flight from hell, and I forget the last name of Valu-Jet before they merged with Southwest, but they were a royal pain with their "oh you have a reservation, but if you want a seat, that'll be $9," among other Valu-Added Transactions (marca registrada).
I've been on both sides of the curtain in the class divide, having once traveled often enough to get automatic upgrades (sadly, not for life) and I often think that if money were no object, I would upgrade to FC for two reasons: one, the leg issues mentioned above; two, the attentiveness with which the flight attendants dispense the social lubricants in FC. In the cattle car, you may despair of ever seeing the flight attendant unless a limb is severed.
posted by beelzbubba at 2:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
The first is one that is partially because I am an outlier and partially because OPAS (other people are shits). I'm 6'7" and while I try to pick seats in coach with adequate pitch, most domestic aircraft do not offer greater than 32" pitch and at that length I am in solid contact with the back of the seat in front of me. I try to get an aisle seat because then I can at least slide a leg into the aisle if need be. The OPAS part comes in when Mr. or Ms. 5' 6" insists on jamming the seat ahead as far as it can possibly go. I try to let them know ahead of time that we are in a special symbiotic relationship, and with a little notice, I can arrange my legs so as to minimize lasting nerve and tissue damage--for either of us. The OPAS often loudly insist that they paid for their ticket and my legs be damned. I do not and will not employ one of those mechanical set jammers, but I also found out long ago that my arms extended have the mechanical advantage over their recliner lever.
The other major problem, which has gotten more pronounced to me as the mergers of United/Continental, American/USAir, and NW/Delta have been digested. While they will tell you that you should allow 60 minutes between connections, they will schedule tickets at 50 minutes and--in the case of American & Charlotte/Douglas, will put the flights at opposite ends of the universe, just to see if they can induce a coronary event. I have similar experiences at OHare, but Rick Bayless's Topolobampo kiosks greatly reduce my stress level.
People have bad experiences flying Southwest? I haven't, but I won't fly Spirit ever again after finding the used vomitorium bag in my seat pocket (and tray obviously unwiped) on a five hour flight from hell, and I forget the last name of Valu-Jet before they merged with Southwest, but they were a royal pain with their "oh you have a reservation, but if you want a seat, that'll be $9," among other Valu-Added Transactions (marca registrada).
I've been on both sides of the curtain in the class divide, having once traveled often enough to get automatic upgrades (sadly, not for life) and I often think that if money were no object, I would upgrade to FC for two reasons: one, the leg issues mentioned above; two, the attentiveness with which the flight attendants dispense the social lubricants in FC. In the cattle car, you may despair of ever seeing the flight attendant unless a limb is severed.
posted by beelzbubba at 2:23 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
If it's any comfort, The Gooch, I refuse to upgrade on principle. Charge me what the seats cost, don't create artificially shitty seats to lure people away from!
posted by corb at 2:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by corb at 2:24 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I do like to take the train, I take it to Toronto to see family a few times a year. I like to upgrade to business class if I have cash spare, and it's a world of difference from Economy. You get to go in The Business Lounge which has free snacks and drinks, and they give you a real honest to goodness meal with an aperitif, a glass of wine, entree veg and side, and port afterwards if you're so inclined.
In Economy a Quebecois man throws containers of pasta salad at you for $7 while pretending not to speak English.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 2:29 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
In Economy a Quebecois man throws containers of pasta salad at you for $7 while pretending not to speak English.
posted by the uncomplicated soups of my childhood at 2:29 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I love trains. Even shitty Amtrak. I take the train from the Bay Area to Colorado to visit relatives whenever I can instead of flying. It's a 24-hour trip and I still prefer it to flying. Also, I did not know Economy could get worse but apparently we are all in for Ryanair-like treatment even within the good ole US of A:
"Back in February United and American Airlines announced they were joining Delta Air Lines in introducing “basic economy”, a new class of fare below standard. This doesn’t mean sitting even farther back in the plane, but it removes the few perks that economy passengers still enjoy, chiefly the ability to select one’s seat before checking in (and to ensure that parties travelling together could sit together).
"The early reviews were universally negative—except for the only one that counts. Because basic economy, it seems, is quite profitable for the airlines. Delta, which introduced basic economy on a limited scale in 2012 and announced an expansion last year, has now released a report on its financials. In the first three months of this year, the airline says, basic economy earned Delta an additional $20m in revenue. Delta is planning to expand the fare class beyond the roughly 1,650 routes (8% of the airline’s total routes) it currently serves. Once United and American introduce it later this year, it’ll become a relatively standard feature of flying on US carriers."
posted by Bella Donna at 2:31 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
"Back in February United and American Airlines announced they were joining Delta Air Lines in introducing “basic economy”, a new class of fare below standard. This doesn’t mean sitting even farther back in the plane, but it removes the few perks that economy passengers still enjoy, chiefly the ability to select one’s seat before checking in (and to ensure that parties travelling together could sit together).
"The early reviews were universally negative—except for the only one that counts. Because basic economy, it seems, is quite profitable for the airlines. Delta, which introduced basic economy on a limited scale in 2012 and announced an expansion last year, has now released a report on its financials. In the first three months of this year, the airline says, basic economy earned Delta an additional $20m in revenue. Delta is planning to expand the fare class beyond the roughly 1,650 routes (8% of the airline’s total routes) it currently serves. Once United and American introduce it later this year, it’ll become a relatively standard feature of flying on US carriers."
posted by Bella Donna at 2:31 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
One of the pilots in my flying club has said that if his kids get rowdy in the back of the plane he'll climb up to like 12,000 feet (the planes aren't pressurized) and the lack of air will make them fall asleep. So in the interest of killing two birds with one stone (bad choice of words?), I humbly suggest that the airlines start reducing the cabin air pressure to encourage the passengers to pass right the fuck out. It'll also save on wear and tear on the fuselage.
Not necessarily the right approach:
Not necessarily the right approach:
A recent study by the UK College of Aeronautics - part of Cranfield University - has identified a direct link between the rise in disruptive passengers and mounting evidence that flying is becoming more stressful.posted by jamjam at 2:32 PM on May 3, 2016
...
Over-consumption of alcohol, exacerbated by reduced cabin pressure, heads Cranfield's list as a cause of air rage.
So I am irrational, but not as irrational as you may have thought. (This article says they're about equal, but it's from 1998 and flying has become safer. But so has driving.)
There were 18,000 traffic deaths in the U.S. last year, a 14% increase from the previous year.
But in 2015, globally -- globally -- there were 898 deaths.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
There were 18,000 traffic deaths in the U.S. last year, a 14% increase from the previous year.
But in 2015, globally -- globally -- there were 898 deaths.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:33 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Also: In the first three months of this year, the airline says, basic economy earned Delta an additional $20m in revenue. I wonder if that's true. Did Delta earn an additional $20m in purchases of basic economy seats by folks who wouldn't otherwise fly? I'm guessing no. I'm guessing that passengers fleeing from basic economy by paying for reserved seats earned Delta that additional $20m.
posted by Bella Donna at 2:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 2:36 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
I also like the train, but Ryanair are going to get me from Cornwall to Frankfurt (ISH) and back for about £15 less then FGW will charge me to get to London and back, never mind the Eurostar or onward train. FGW won't even guarantee me a seat for my money.
posted by biffa at 2:37 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by biffa at 2:37 PM on May 3, 2016
But in 2015, globally -- globally -- there were 898 deaths.
And these are disproportionately airlines with lesser safety records and in countries with different standards.
The last US crash with at least 50 deaths was in 2009 and with over 200 deaths was 2001 (just after September 11, if you include 9/11 then obviously 2001 was the high point for US major crashes).
So its been almost 15 years since the last large airline crash in the US.
posted by thefoxgod at 2:48 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
And these are disproportionately airlines with lesser safety records and in countries with different standards.
The last US crash with at least 50 deaths was in 2009 and with over 200 deaths was 2001 (just after September 11, if you include 9/11 then obviously 2001 was the high point for US major crashes).
So its been almost 15 years since the last large airline crash in the US.
posted by thefoxgod at 2:48 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
But just comparing total fatalities isn't even a per-mile -- let alone a per-hour -- comparison.
I will say that the two-737-crashes-a-year statistic that I "calculated" made me feel a lot better about flying. And this was a few years ago, so it's probably even safer now. I'm still with Sphinx -- the terrifying possibility of a crash makes the existence of first class a lot less annoying. Perhaps we should be promoting irrational phobias to cut down on air rage incidents!
posted by Ralston McTodd at 3:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
I will say that the two-737-crashes-a-year statistic that I "calculated" made me feel a lot better about flying. And this was a few years ago, so it's probably even safer now. I'm still with Sphinx -- the terrifying possibility of a crash makes the existence of first class a lot less annoying. Perhaps we should be promoting irrational phobias to cut down on air rage incidents!
posted by Ralston McTodd at 3:10 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
My first memory of flight was a Northwest flight from MIA to DTW and I got a delicious hot ham and cheese sandwich with a Coke, and my 7 year old ass was fucking delighted. Of course now you might get a cookie and a cup of coffee for the same flight duration, but whatever. Commercial flight is one of those thing people like to overreact to. None of it is particularly great, but generally humankind isn't particularly great. For me being on a plane with a bunch of people isn't really any worse than being out in the world with them. Just come prepared for the things that annoy you. If the sounds that other people make annoy you, bring earplugs, they're like 25 cents each. Why would you expect strangers to be considerate of your comfort? If you want food, you can bring stuff through security or buy something post TSA. If you want more legroom, I dunno, write your congressperson cause you're SOL on that front.
posted by dudemanlives at 3:16 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by dudemanlives at 3:16 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Mileage comparison
So in 2014, miles driven was about 8x miles flown.
The fatality rate differential is much much much less than that.
posted by thefoxgod at 3:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
So in 2014, miles driven was about 8x miles flown.
The fatality rate differential is much much much less than that.
posted by thefoxgod at 3:18 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
Er greater than that. Per mile flying is much safer.
posted by thefoxgod at 3:19 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by thefoxgod at 3:19 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
In a couple weeks I'm flying DCA-ORD-GRU on United. At least I'm Gold, so I can get a halfway decent aisle seat in Economy Plus and tank up in the lounge on my layover. If I had 25,000 miles in my account right now I would have bought the First Class upgrade for ORD-GRU in a heartbeat. Instead, I'll get 2 hours of sleep in 15-minute increments and catch up on some terrible movies. 20-year-old me would be more excited than mumble year-old me is now.
posted by wintermind at 3:25 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by wintermind at 3:25 PM on May 3, 2016
- the stinky chain smoker who smells like they're literally smoking 15 cigarettes right now just from the stench emanating from their very soul
Sorry about that.
I have found that a great rule of thumb to keep flying mellow is don't ever book US carriers, and don't ever route through the United States. I know that doesn't work for many of you, but just sayin'.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Sorry about that.
I have found that a great rule of thumb to keep flying mellow is don't ever book US carriers, and don't ever route through the United States. I know that doesn't work for many of you, but just sayin'.
posted by Meatbomb at 3:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [4 favorites]
Alprazolam and Xanax making an economy flight bearable? Shoot, I must have a cast-iron stomach or something, because neither of those touch it for me. No amount of alcohol below vomiting level does it, either. I don't need wheelchair assistance at the airport where I board, but I often need it at my destination airport, depending on how many hours I've spent on the plane having my knees and lower back steadily pounded on.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:47 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:47 PM on May 3, 2016
Why would you expect strangers to be considerate of your comfort?
Seriously? Because I was brought up to be considerate of strangers’ comfort, and so were all my classmates, cousins, siblings, and peers. It's a pretty standard thing in Western Society, which is why it's an aberration that gets noticed when people don't do it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:52 PM on May 3, 2016 [22 favorites]
Seriously? Because I was brought up to be considerate of strangers’ comfort, and so were all my classmates, cousins, siblings, and peers. It's a pretty standard thing in Western Society, which is why it's an aberration that gets noticed when people don't do it.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:52 PM on May 3, 2016 [22 favorites]
this is really the only thing to be said
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:12 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
when i went to japan a few years ago i got to fly first class on the way there (by virtue of my travel buddy's aunt working for delta) and it was pure luxury, especially compared to the 12 hour flight back in coach stuck in a middle seat. i felt like such a rube because i couldn't stop freaking out that they brought me a NEWSPAPER and a MIMOSA and SLIPPERS and oh my god the seat RECLINES FULLY and there's a FOOTREST!!!!!!!
this whole thread reminds me to get my ativan refilled before i fly to germany next week. but i'm not going to make the mistake i did the first time i took ativan on a flight, which was back in high school and honestly my RN mom probably should have known better than to let me take an extra-large dose when we had a layover in el salvador coming up...that poor, poor barf-covered womens airport restroom
posted by burgerrr at 4:16 PM on May 3, 2016
this whole thread reminds me to get my ativan refilled before i fly to germany next week. but i'm not going to make the mistake i did the first time i took ativan on a flight, which was back in high school and honestly my RN mom probably should have known better than to let me take an extra-large dose when we had a layover in el salvador coming up...that poor, poor barf-covered womens airport restroom
posted by burgerrr at 4:16 PM on May 3, 2016
In other airport news; have you thought about driving? It might be quicker.
Yeah, but for some reason the cops and pedestrians get super annoyed when they see me reading a book while driving. Flying, not so much.
posted by happyroach at 4:21 PM on May 3, 2016
Yeah, but for some reason the cops and pedestrians get super annoyed when they see me reading a book while driving. Flying, not so much.
posted by happyroach at 4:21 PM on May 3, 2016
Etihad apartment flight blog https://www.topmiles.com/blog/article/36/my--23-000-flight-on-the-etihad-residence---apartment-for--104---etihad-a380-first-class
The thing is, generally you end up sleeping on long haul flights, unless you are very unlucky. Having said that, my friend who ended up on a FC night flight on an Emirates 380 didn't do much sleeping as he was too busy doing everything possible other than that. Including having a shower.
posted by asok at 4:31 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
The thing is, generally you end up sleeping on long haul flights, unless you are very unlucky. Having said that, my friend who ended up on a FC night flight on an Emirates 380 didn't do much sleeping as he was too busy doing everything possible other than that. Including having a shower.
posted by asok at 4:31 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
I would totally have showered. Hey, maybe there's a free shower cap, which I would have been wearing when finally dragged from the plane.
posted by wenestvedt at 4:53 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by wenestvedt at 4:53 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
I my many experiences as an airline passengers drunk people are the worst fliers. Alcohol makes people loud, obnoxious assholes.
posted by humanfont at 5:22 PM on May 3, 2016
posted by humanfont at 5:22 PM on May 3, 2016
My flight experiences would be so much better with just one change: Getting rid of Delta's incessant promotion of their special tiered programs.
Rich People Class I are now invited to board. We would like to thank all Rich People for their patronage. Rich People Class II are now entitled to board. Rich People Class I and Class II, we welcome you to this Delta Flight. Perks for Rich People Class I, II, but not Class III include sitting in a metal tube for an increased amount of time and this annoying shoutout. Rich People Class III, I don't know why you didn't sign up for the Rich People Class I or Class II experience, and I don't know what you get except our vocal appreciation. Thank you for being rich, even if you aren't as rich as Class I or II. Everyone else, please notice the Rich People, who we appreciate very much. You are not rich. You don't know exactly what's so good about flying as one of our Rich People, but you do know that you're not platinum, diamond, or any other precious material. You don't get to sit in the metal tube until everyone else is sitting in the metal tube.
As soon as Delta switches to Air France, it is a huge, amazing difference, even though they're supposedly partners. Just this one thing makes Air France far more tolerable. I wonder what marketing wonk in Delta headquarters needs to be strangled, because if I wasn't flying Air France I would have been driven off. I've contemplated coming up with multiple aliases (some of them fictitious rich people) to send feedback to their headquarters about how bloody fucking annoying it all is.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:31 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Rich People Class I are now invited to board. We would like to thank all Rich People for their patronage. Rich People Class II are now entitled to board. Rich People Class I and Class II, we welcome you to this Delta Flight. Perks for Rich People Class I, II, but not Class III include sitting in a metal tube for an increased amount of time and this annoying shoutout. Rich People Class III, I don't know why you didn't sign up for the Rich People Class I or Class II experience, and I don't know what you get except our vocal appreciation. Thank you for being rich, even if you aren't as rich as Class I or II. Everyone else, please notice the Rich People, who we appreciate very much. You are not rich. You don't know exactly what's so good about flying as one of our Rich People, but you do know that you're not platinum, diamond, or any other precious material. You don't get to sit in the metal tube until everyone else is sitting in the metal tube.
As soon as Delta switches to Air France, it is a huge, amazing difference, even though they're supposedly partners. Just this one thing makes Air France far more tolerable. I wonder what marketing wonk in Delta headquarters needs to be strangled, because if I wasn't flying Air France I would have been driven off. I've contemplated coming up with multiple aliases (some of them fictitious rich people) to send feedback to their headquarters about how bloody fucking annoying it all is.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 5:31 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
Yes I am also a person who saw the sleep-tube in Fifth Element and said OMG YES NOW PLEASE. I mean, you get to lie down, it's private, you go to sleep, bam.
posted by emjaybee at 5:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by emjaybee at 5:32 PM on May 3, 2016 [5 favorites]
I like Delta in general, but I wish they would just number their boarding groups properly.
Boarding Group 1 actually boards 4th.... (after Special Boarding, First Class, and Sky Priority).
posted by thefoxgod at 5:38 PM on May 3, 2016
Boarding Group 1 actually boards 4th.... (after Special Boarding, First Class, and Sky Priority).
posted by thefoxgod at 5:38 PM on May 3, 2016
I used to hate sitting in first class and watching the peons file by, trying to avoid eye contact, as I relaxed with my first drink and settled my head into my leather head rest.
Now I avoid that problem by having my own jet.
[I do not have my own jet, nor have I ever flown first class.]
I flew by myself for the first time from Memphis to Boston on the day Elvis died. I loved flying! The next year my parents bought like a thousand boxes of Chex cereal and we saved enough boxtops to get four free tickets from Little Rock to Boston and flying was still awesome.
Forty years later: not so much.
posted by bendy at 5:41 PM on May 3, 2016
Now I avoid that problem by having my own jet.
[I do not have my own jet, nor have I ever flown first class.]
I flew by myself for the first time from Memphis to Boston on the day Elvis died. I loved flying! The next year my parents bought like a thousand boxes of Chex cereal and we saved enough boxtops to get four free tickets from Little Rock to Boston and flying was still awesome.
Forty years later: not so much.
posted by bendy at 5:41 PM on May 3, 2016
Per mile flying is much safer.
Wait til I get my flying car.
posted by banshee at 5:58 PM on May 3, 2016
Wait til I get my flying car.
posted by banshee at 5:58 PM on May 3, 2016
I keep trying to find the headphone jack in my kid, but none of the existing holes seem to work
It's next to the off switch...
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 6:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
It's next to the off switch...
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 6:00 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
^^... Delta's incessant promotion of their special tiered programs.
American's no slouch at self-aggrandizement either. As a member of lowly Boarding Group 2, I could've consumed a three course meal by the time they finished boarding the Platinum Group, the Gold Group, the Diamond Group, the Sapphire Group, the Cubic Zirconia Group, etc., etc., ad nauseam.
(But then, I peaked early as an air traveler. My family flew to New Orleans for Christmas 1973 with the paternal branch, and my sister and I -- then age 6 and 8 -- were upgraded to first class for the Atlanta-to-N.O. leg. I have no idea why.)
posted by virago at 6:39 PM on May 3, 2016
American's no slouch at self-aggrandizement either. As a member of lowly Boarding Group 2, I could've consumed a three course meal by the time they finished boarding the Platinum Group, the Gold Group, the Diamond Group, the Sapphire Group, the Cubic Zirconia Group, etc., etc., ad nauseam.
(But then, I peaked early as an air traveler. My family flew to New Orleans for Christmas 1973 with the paternal branch, and my sister and I -- then age 6 and 8 -- were upgraded to first class for the Atlanta-to-N.O. leg. I have no idea why.)
posted by virago at 6:39 PM on May 3, 2016
It isn't personal wealth that puts you in first class. Take a job with a 15% or greater travel allocation, book most of your travel with one airline and rack up those miles. After a year you'll be getting those upgrades, faster if your employer likes to have you make past minute arrangements or book refundable tickets. Of course it is easy to get lost in the game of the whole thing. But when I flew 180,000 miles a year, the perks were the only thing that kept me sane.
posted by humanfont at 7:02 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by humanfont at 7:02 PM on May 3, 2016 [2 favorites]
There's a caveat to that, humanfront -- if you're a federal employee flying on government contract fares you're in about the lowest ticket class there is for miles and dollars, and the tickets aren't upgradable to a higher cabin even on your own dime. I flew close to 85,000 miles on United last year and wasn't in the same ZIP code as Platinum because of the PQD disparity. And I promise you that we're not paying bargain rates for those tickets.
posted by wintermind at 7:26 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by wintermind at 7:26 PM on May 3, 2016 [1 favorite]
So one time I am upgraded to first on a trip from LAX to JFK. I am sitting there minding my own business when every single flight attendant and the pilots, 3 of them come over to say hello to the gentleman sitting next to me. I wait for them all to leave, and I say to him, "Apologies, but I don't recognize you but you seem famous as they all knew you and thanked you." "Haha. I am not famous. For the last 3 years running, I have been the #2 frequent flier in terms of miles and segments on American. Some of them I have met, the others are just doing customer service." "So how many miles did you fly last year?" I forget the exact number, but I think it was close to a million miles. He flew to Hong Kong frequently and was on the road like 45 weeks a year. He was a really nice guy. I asked how many the #1 guy had and he said he didn't know exactly, but there was no way he could ever catch him. At the time I was feeling pretty good about my then Gold status. That evaporated quickly.
It is my experience that most of 1st class is either paid by business or the Platinum business travelers hoping to get some rest before returning home. You can sort of spot the folks actually paying their own dime for first. Usually it is a cross country flight or a flight of at least 3.5 hours. They are the ones calling each other Muffy and Buffy and Biff. They are wearing khakis with a blue blazer. Their kids are wearing a Ralph Lauren button down, wrinkled, khakis and loafers with no socks.
posted by AugustWest at 7:54 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
It is my experience that most of 1st class is either paid by business or the Platinum business travelers hoping to get some rest before returning home. You can sort of spot the folks actually paying their own dime for first. Usually it is a cross country flight or a flight of at least 3.5 hours. They are the ones calling each other Muffy and Buffy and Biff. They are wearing khakis with a blue blazer. Their kids are wearing a Ralph Lauren button down, wrinkled, khakis and loafers with no socks.
posted by AugustWest at 7:54 PM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]
Did the lower class folks on the Titanic similarly feel class envy? Well for them and their betters, things evened out.
No, they really didn't: 38% of First Class, 59% of Second Class, and 75% of Third Class Passengers died. Some of this was because of the gender and age breakdown of the classes, because the Third Class had the highest proportion of men, and men famously went down with the ship, but even so, 84% of the men of the Third Class, 92% of the men of the Second Class, and 67% of the men of the First Class died. Of the children on the ship, two-thirds of the 79 in Third Class, none of those in Second Class, and one of the six in First Class died.
I stress this because the class disparity in deaths is one of the most famous (non-fictional) observations made about the Titanic disaster, and I cannot imagine why you would have chosen it as your example.
posted by gingerest at 11:03 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
No, they really didn't: 38% of First Class, 59% of Second Class, and 75% of Third Class Passengers died. Some of this was because of the gender and age breakdown of the classes, because the Third Class had the highest proportion of men, and men famously went down with the ship, but even so, 84% of the men of the Third Class, 92% of the men of the Second Class, and 67% of the men of the First Class died. Of the children on the ship, two-thirds of the 79 in Third Class, none of those in Second Class, and one of the six in First Class died.
I stress this because the class disparity in deaths is one of the most famous (non-fictional) observations made about the Titanic disaster, and I cannot imagine why you would have chosen it as your example.
posted by gingerest at 11:03 PM on May 3, 2016 [7 favorites]
IT'S THAT I'M GOING TO CRASH TO MY DEATH.
Sphinx... This song is for you
posted by Mister Bijou at 2:53 AM on May 4, 2016
Sphinx... This song is for you
posted by Mister Bijou at 2:53 AM on May 4, 2016
5. Once you can afford to get into The Club, everything is free. If you can't, everything is expensive.
Because this can't be quoted enough:
“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”
― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
posted by zardoz at 4:01 AM on May 4, 2016 [8 favorites]
Because this can't be quoted enough:
“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.
Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.
But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.
This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”
― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms
posted by zardoz at 4:01 AM on May 4, 2016 [8 favorites]
We just did a bunch of air travel through the Balkans and Europe and it was relaxed and fairly comfortable if a little cramped - and run by friendly adults.
You almost forget how bad air travel can be - until you get back to JFK...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 5:46 AM on May 4, 2016
You almost forget how bad air travel can be - until you get back to JFK...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 5:46 AM on May 4, 2016
I know it can be a little unfamiliar for some, but if you are travelling to Latin America, I recommend using airlines like Copa or Lan, much, MUCH better than Delta or any other American company. Economy is just like it used to be in the 90s: spacious seats, metal cutlery, as many drinks as you like, etc.
For Europe, I had a very good experience with Aeroflot (Russian). The tickets were CHEAP and yes, we had a long layover in Moscow, but the airport is pretty neat and there is a coffee shop that lets you sleep in their sofa style seats and charge your phone. The airline itself was awesome - the food was amazing (smoked salmon!), the seats super comfortable, you could play (very simple) video games with other passengers from your seat (pool, soccer, memory and more).
posted by Tarumba at 6:15 AM on May 4, 2016
For Europe, I had a very good experience with Aeroflot (Russian). The tickets were CHEAP and yes, we had a long layover in Moscow, but the airport is pretty neat and there is a coffee shop that lets you sleep in their sofa style seats and charge your phone. The airline itself was awesome - the food was amazing (smoked salmon!), the seats super comfortable, you could play (very simple) video games with other passengers from your seat (pool, soccer, memory and more).
posted by Tarumba at 6:15 AM on May 4, 2016
Just saw this in the NYPost (fwiw). Flying hits a disgusting new low.
posted by AugustWest at 8:09 AM on May 4, 2016
posted by AugustWest at 8:09 AM on May 4, 2016
The only time I was seated right behind the first class curtain was on an LA-NY flight; I spent not a small amount of time craning my neck to make sure the feller I thought was Colin Farrell really was Colin Farrell.
PS it was totally Colin Farrell
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:16 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
PS it was totally Colin Farrell
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:16 AM on May 4, 2016 [1 favorite]
Air Canada recently wanted to charge parents extra to sit in the same row as their kids. They backed off claiming government mandate but I like to believe it was more a backlash from flight attendants who would be the first responders to unsupervised children.
posted by Mitheral at 2:00 PM on May 4, 2016
posted by Mitheral at 2:00 PM on May 4, 2016
I have not been on a flight since April 11.
This is nice. Especially because I've flown something over 35k miles this year.
(It won't last, I'm getting on another flight Monday morning, and another transatlantic by next Friday.)
And at the end of May I have to fly Ryanair, yippee. But the alternative was paying more than $1k to change a set of flights, which seemed like a poor plan.
Yeah, I too hate the TSA (although it's easier to deal with when you've got status because you fly too damn much).
On the other hand my flights next week are through Brussels, so there are worse things than tiny seats and crappy job-creation-security-theater.
posted by nat at 4:28 PM on May 4, 2016
This is nice. Especially because I've flown something over 35k miles this year.
(It won't last, I'm getting on another flight Monday morning, and another transatlantic by next Friday.)
And at the end of May I have to fly Ryanair, yippee. But the alternative was paying more than $1k to change a set of flights, which seemed like a poor plan.
Yeah, I too hate the TSA (although it's easier to deal with when you've got status because you fly too damn much).
On the other hand my flights next week are through Brussels, so there are worse things than tiny seats and crappy job-creation-security-theater.
posted by nat at 4:28 PM on May 4, 2016
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posted by RogerB at 11:57 AM on May 3, 2016 [3 favorites]