IRL Stardew Valley
May 14, 2016 5:12 AM Subscribe
For only AUD$750,000 the entire town of Allies Creek, Queensland can be yours - featuring 16 houses, 3 sawmills, a phone depot, a schoolhall, a dam full of fish, and all the freedom to do whatever you want.
I was actually looking into this but I decided to withdraw from negotiations once I found out about the covenant that runs with the land. It wasn't the required year-long process of throwing hats on the ground in frustration and bonding with the quirky locals, culminating in an outrageous cabaret show, so much as the requirement that the whole thing be directed by Baz Luhrmann.
posted by No-sword at 5:44 AM on May 14, 2016 [27 favorites]
posted by No-sword at 5:44 AM on May 14, 2016 [27 favorites]
Allies Creek, QueensMefiland - Mayor Cortex presiding. Who's in?
posted by pixlboi at 5:49 AM on May 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by pixlboi at 5:49 AM on May 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Second prize, two towns in Queensland...
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:50 AM on May 14, 2016 [21 favorites]
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:50 AM on May 14, 2016 [21 favorites]
Two Machines Enter, One Machine Leaves
WHO RULES BARTERTOWN!?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:11 AM on May 14, 2016 [8 favorites]
I've seen where this leads, and it's not pretty.
posted by chrominance at 6:19 AM on May 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by chrominance at 6:19 AM on May 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Wow, that's like 3/4 of the median price of a single three-bedroom house in my (far west, kind of bogan) part of Sydney.
posted by lollusc at 6:49 AM on May 14, 2016
posted by lollusc at 6:49 AM on May 14, 2016
I notice that they don't say how many poisonous things are included in the purchase.
(9 out of the 10 most poisonous tiny towns in the world are in Australia, you know.)
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:52 AM on May 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
(9 out of the 10 most poisonous tiny towns in the world are in Australia, you know.)
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:52 AM on May 14, 2016 [5 favorites]
Allies Creek, QueensMefiland - Mayor Cortex presiding. Who's in?
Forget it, Jake; it's Metatown.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:58 AM on May 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
Forget it, Jake; it's Metatown.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:58 AM on May 14, 2016 [7 favorites]
(9 out of the 10 most poisonous tiny towns in the world are in Australia, you know.)
How many times to we need to go over this? 9 out of the 10 mostpoisonous venomous tiny towns in the world are in Australia.
How do you tell the difference? Look for a triangular shape in the town's hall, and the vertical (not round) pupils attending the local school.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:03 AM on May 14, 2016 [34 favorites]
How many times to we need to go over this? 9 out of the 10 most
How do you tell the difference? Look for a triangular shape in the town's hall, and the vertical (not round) pupils attending the local school.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:03 AM on May 14, 2016 [34 favorites]
I'll wait for the inevitable Mad Max: Fury Road cosplayers' Kickstarter.
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:17 AM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 7:17 AM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
If we called it mefi-anything there would be a civil war between the Meefites and Mehfites
posted by museum of fire ants at 7:27 AM on May 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
posted by museum of fire ants at 7:27 AM on May 14, 2016 [9 favorites]
I propose a new TLC show: FLIP THIS TOWN!
posted by museum of fire ants at 7:29 AM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by museum of fire ants at 7:29 AM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
Hi, I live Queensland. Check out this cool picture I took of some spiders at the local park. But don't worry about them, it's the ones that make invisible trapdoors to spring out of, and the ones that like to hide in your shoes that will kill you. Then there's Shelob, but you should be fine if you stay off the Stairs of Cirith Ungol.
Anyhow I didn't know where this was, so I looked at their map, and zoomed out, and zoomed out, and zoomed out... it's nowhere. It's so remote, if you leave at dawn you'll get home with the shopping at about dusk. This place is destined to become a ghost town. There are many in Queensland.
posted by adept256 at 7:33 AM on May 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
Anyhow I didn't know where this was, so I looked at their map, and zoomed out, and zoomed out, and zoomed out... it's nowhere. It's so remote, if you leave at dawn you'll get home with the shopping at about dusk. This place is destined to become a ghost town. There are many in Queensland.
posted by adept256 at 7:33 AM on May 14, 2016 [6 favorites]
Don't.
Tempt.
Me.
Alt.Metafiler.Separatist-State.
posted by Mezentian at 7:59 AM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Tempt.
Me.
Alt.Metafiler.Separatist-State.
posted by Mezentian at 7:59 AM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
where are the void chickens
posted by poffin boffin at 9:06 AM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 9:06 AM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
That's less than the resale price for public housing in these parts.
Which obviously made me look up directions on how to get there. Here's my favourite part: there's no public transport that gets to within 160km of the town.
Curiously enough, this is not a dead town; there are tenants and such who'd be paying you off rent. So if you have a yearly music festival or something, this just may work out. If Metafilter buys this out though, I'm presuming it'll be $5 to post something from there?
posted by the cydonian at 10:21 AM on May 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Which obviously made me look up directions on how to get there. Here's my favourite part: there's no public transport that gets to within 160km of the town.
Curiously enough, this is not a dead town; there are tenants and such who'd be paying you off rent. So if you have a yearly music festival or something, this just may work out. If Metafilter buys this out though, I'm presuming it'll be $5 to post something from there?
posted by the cydonian at 10:21 AM on May 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
As long as Amazon delivers there, I'm good.
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:23 AM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:23 AM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
This screams "idiosyncratic tiny college" all over it. Or maybe an outpost of a big uni, where you go study green farming and green energy for a year and gradually transform the property into an environmentalist utopia?
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:27 AM on May 14, 2016
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:27 AM on May 14, 2016
This could be where mefites establish the Crone Island Nunnery!
posted by Gymnopedist at 10:31 AM on May 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
posted by Gymnopedist at 10:31 AM on May 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
How does the personnel needed to run three sawmills live in only 14 houses?
posted by maxwelton at 11:40 AM on May 14, 2016
posted by maxwelton at 11:40 AM on May 14, 2016
This screams "idiosyncratic tiny college" all over it.
Really Deep Springs?
posted by leotrotsky at 12:27 PM on May 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
Really Deep Springs?
posted by leotrotsky at 12:27 PM on May 14, 2016 [3 favorites]
"idiosyncratic tiny college" is not only a fine user name, but I'm now imagining the tiny house version of higher education -- you know, very pared back majors, the labs fold away to allow the dorms to open out, and, if a student throws their cap in the air at graduation, it will put out somebody's eye.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:46 PM on May 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:46 PM on May 14, 2016 [4 favorites]
Sadly, it now appears to be under offer.
And I did not buy it.
Of course, it took me a while to check there are no CSG tenements over the area.
Town's less charming from the air and not on streetview.
posted by Mezentian at 3:46 PM on May 14, 2016
And I did not buy it.
Of course, it took me a while to check there are no CSG tenements over the area.
Town's less charming from the air and not on streetview.
posted by Mezentian at 3:46 PM on May 14, 2016
I'm guessing there isn't a fiber backbone anywhere nearby. :(
posted by butterstick at 3:48 PM on May 14, 2016
posted by butterstick at 3:48 PM on May 14, 2016
I'm guessing there isn't a fiber backbone anywhere nearby. :(
Surely, our world class NBN will be installed in just three years, and they'll have something set up when they film the next instalment of Wolf Creek here.
posted by Mezentian at 3:51 PM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
Surely, our world class NBN will be installed in just three years, and they'll have something set up when they film the next instalment of Wolf Creek here.
posted by Mezentian at 3:51 PM on May 14, 2016 [1 favorite]
"I have lived in areas, in Queensland, more remote than this (yes, that is possible)."Oh hell yeah, easily. It's not like it's even somewhere slightly remote like western Queensland - it's smack bang in the middle of the farming & timber area of the Darling Downs, only a couple of hours from Murgon or Kingaroy and maybe 3 from Dalby.
Quite nice open brigalow forest country around there. Good place if you like wattles.
posted by Pinback at 5:42 PM on May 14, 2016
If we called it mefi-anything there would be a civil war between the Meefites and Mehfites
Meh!
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:06 PM on May 14, 2016
Meh!
posted by sebastienbailard at 8:06 PM on May 14, 2016
Check out this cool picture I took of some spiders
why... why are the spiders in the sky.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:07 PM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
why... why are the spiders in the sky.
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 11:07 PM on May 14, 2016 [2 favorites]
why... why are the spiders in the sky.
How else do you expect them to get around? Walk, like plebs?
(And escape the drop bears, of course).
posted by Mezentian at 2:39 AM on May 15, 2016
How else do you expect them to get around? Walk, like plebs?
(And escape the drop bears, of course).
posted by Mezentian at 2:39 AM on May 15, 2016
Had I the money I would buy this town, construct a McDonald's, hire all the nearby youth, get everybody addicted to those sweet sweet round meats, then sack all the employees and replace them with machines, and then set fire to everything. People will say, what's the name of your troupe? And I will say...THE CAPITALISTS!
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:30 PM on May 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by turbid dahlia at 6:30 PM on May 15, 2016 [4 favorites]
8 lowset queenslanders and 8 highset queenslanders.
I take it these are types of houses, and not people....
posted by Metro Gnome at 6:40 PM on May 15, 2016
I take it these are types of houses, and not people....
posted by Metro Gnome at 6:40 PM on May 15, 2016
If Metafilter buys this out though, I'm presuming it'll be $5 to post something from there?
posted by the cydonian at 10:21 AM on May 14
$20...
posted by sweetmarie at 11:41 AM on May 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by the cydonian at 10:21 AM on May 14
$20...
posted by sweetmarie at 11:41 AM on May 16, 2016 [2 favorites]
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posted by museum of fire ants at 5:39 AM on May 14, 2016