Bangfit by Pornhub

May 20, 2016 7:09 PM

"Welcome to the wonderful world of BangFit, an exercise platform created by Pornhub to fight against our sedentary lifestyle. Watch the video below and discover the fitness miracle gyms don’t want you to know about." [There is not actual real human nudity, it is a cartoon, but still a bit NSFW. Unless you work for Pornhub.]
posted by marienbad (14 comments total)

For instance, very few are aware that the vast majority of streaming sites (think YouPorn, Pornhub, XTube, RedTube and pretty much all the rest of them except for XHamster) are actually owned by one mega-conglomerate called MindGeek which benignly bills itself as a “[leader] in the design, development, marketing, SEO & management of highly trafficked websites.”
[...]
Why does this matter? Because any time you have a de-facto monopoly bad shit happens. The tube sites MindGeek was acquiring allowed users to upload anything, including pirated content. As they continued to grow and gain web traffic, they garnered sufficient leverage to persuade even the studios whose pirated content had been uploaded to their tube sites to pay for ad space there. As more consumers gravitated toward “free” porn, studio revenue and thus production quality and compensation for actors was severely crimped. Against this backdrop MindGeek was also able to acquire a number of well-known studios for a song (Digital Playground, Brazzers, Reality Kings, and parts of Playboy to name a few).

The Two Women Taking On the Porn Monopoly

Tubes vs. Torrents: the Ethics of Piracy
posted by nadawi at 7:43 PM on May 20, 2016 [25 favorites]

How is two and a half minutes of thrusting followed by a half hour of apologizing supposed to make me fit?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:02 PM on May 20, 2016 [23 favorites]

I'm actually surprisingly impressed by how in-depth this appears to be. 1 player? 2 player? 3+ player? Pick your porn-sync preferences!

I'm not entirely sure *why* this exists, but fair enough for going from "April Fools Day video" level effort to actually putting the work in. and out and in and out
posted by CrystalDave at 8:04 PM on May 20, 2016 [2 favorites]

How is two and a half minutes of thrusting followed by a half hour of apologizing supposed to make me fit?

When you're running from your past, every day is leg day.
posted by mhoye at 8:19 PM on May 20, 2016 [55 favorites]

two and a half minutes of thrusting

Think about baseball...or England...or Donald Trump. Anything to take the edge off...
posted by spacewrench at 8:40 PM on May 20, 2016

Have you ever seen Dance Dance Revolution championships? Technically impressive and they sure work up a sweat, but they sure don't look like they're enjoying themselves and I don't know if I'd call what they're doing "dancing".
posted by mhoye at 10:04 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

Maybe think about bad analogies about niche hobbies, that'll work.
posted by mhoye at 10:04 PM on May 20, 2016

any time you have a de-facto monopoly bad shit happens
It's just a matter of time until a "mainstream" media mega-conglomerate merges with MindGeek - I'm betting it'll be Comcast since they're the one with experience in both content creation (via NBC/Universal) and being a "de-facto monopoly" (and for you Comcast customers, your cable bill IS the most obscene thing you see each month). Although you never know, we could see 21st Century Corp. with FoxNews, FoxSports and FoxSex... or FXXRated?
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:07 PM on May 20, 2016 [1 favorite]

Think about baseball...or England...or Donald Trump

I think I just went sterile.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 10:54 PM on May 20, 2016 [6 favorites]

So is this actually real then? It certainly seems real enough. Has anyone tried it?
posted by Slinga at 6:11 AM on May 21, 2016

It's real. Check the 'play' link at the bottom.
posted by synthetik at 9:05 AM on May 21, 2016

I checked it out. Only two gender options, and at least when selecting male as my gender, only straight porn.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:18 AM on May 21, 2016

On the upside, this has led me back down the rabbit hole of Stoya's blog. I had forgotten how entertaining her writing is.
posted by Ber at 9:25 AM on May 21, 2016 [3 favorites]

oneswellfoop: "Although you never know, we could see 21st Century Corp. with FoxNews, FoxSports and FoxSex... or FXXRated?"

Marge: You know, Fox turned into a hardcore sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:43 PM on May 21, 2016 [2 favorites]