Elevator pitch: It's like Dukes of Hazzard crossed with ET.
June 2, 2016 4:34 AM   Subscribe

Monster Trucks is a movie about monsters ... in trucks.
posted by octothorpe (37 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
For a while now I've been saying the time is right for a darker-and-sexier dramatic TV reimagining of Werewolves on Wheels. Think Teen Wolf meets Sons of Anarchy. It can't lose.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:48 AM on June 2, 2016


posted by octothorpe

Self Link: Banned
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:50 AM on June 2, 2016 [8 favorites]


My reaction.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:00 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


As if real monster trucks weren't scary enough.
posted by fairmettle at 5:00 AM on June 2, 2016


"I'm a scientist. I want to help you. With your silly putty monster. Who lives in your truck. And is its engine."
posted by ChuraChura at 5:24 AM on June 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


he's heplful because he's a scientist. scientists are good people.
posted by sapagan at 5:31 AM on June 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


For some reason, that looks adorable. I don't know why AVClub is so dismissive.
posted by amtho at 6:16 AM on June 2, 2016


As silly as this looks, I concur with the sentiments I saw expressed about this over at birthmoviesdeath: it's not a remake, a sequel, or an adaptation. I'm not gonna complain.

I'm in all likelihood not going to see it, either, but I'm pretty sure that's ok, because it's not aimed at me. It's aimed at six and seven year olds who like playing with their toy cars and trucks. The whole concept exists only to provide justification as to how your truck might end up driving across the roofs of some buildings, the really tall buildings! Because that would be cool.

Conceptually, It's an idea that's simultaneously odd and yet still easy to understand after a five second explanation. Based on the trailer, the execution looks not entirely awful. Possibly kinda good, even. I am one hundred percent confident that there will be much, much worse coming down the pipeline.
posted by Ipsifendus at 6:16 AM on June 2, 2016 [11 favorites]


This movie looks so fucking dumb.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!!!!

posted by KingEdRa at 6:24 AM on June 2, 2016 [6 favorites]


"It's aimed at six and seven year olds who like playing with their toy cars and trucks."

I was not even that into cars and trucks when I was six - I was more into dinosaurs. Still, I would have hurt someone if they had gotten between me and seeing this movie.

I'm not gonna go watch it now, but if I had a time machine I would totally take me to this movie and watch my utter delight instead of the screen.
posted by komara at 6:39 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Watching this, I keep thinking of the Dean Jones movies Disney cranked out fifty years ago. Compared to those, this really isn't that silly.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:39 AM on June 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


You should have been there for the meeting with the medicated pad people. Johnson & Johnson was going to spend a bucketfull of cash, even to the point of renaming and rescripting the movie. Eventually, we had to say no - if we went with that particular product placement, the whole project would have been NC-17.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 6:45 AM on June 2, 2016


It's only not a sequel or an adaption until they retcon this into a Herbie origin story.

I didn't realize sharktopuses would be so cute. Kudos to the first person to figure that out.
posted by mattamatic at 6:53 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


No fart contest scene?
posted by thelonius at 6:55 AM on June 2, 2016


> It's only not a sequel or an adaption until they retcon this into a Herbie origin story.

I, for one, am eager to see Herbie the Lovecraftian Nightmare.
posted by baconaut at 6:56 AM on June 2, 2016 [13 favorites]


This is the guy from the MacGyver reboot, yes? "Sure, I can fix that truck. All I need is a paper clip, a gum wrapper, and... the monster in the closet."
posted by xedrik at 6:57 AM on June 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's aimed at six and seven year olds who like playing with their toy cars and trucks.

So... not forty-six or -seven year olds? I'll, uh, bring my kids as cover then.

So hoping it just wants to be a fun, mindless movie. Guaranteed to be at least half that, right?
posted by GhostintheMachine at 7:04 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yes, Lucas Till is the new MacGyver. I was wondering if that was him! I guess the mullet was definitely one of the things they didn't want to bring back.
posted by Kitteh at 7:07 AM on June 2, 2016


Sigh. Fine, I'll bring my kids. And if you see me cheering at the screen with glee, be assured that it is entirely ironic.
posted by CaseyB at 7:25 AM on June 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Two words, Hollywood. Two words:

Jumbo. Jet.
posted by Hogshead at 7:55 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


So it's body horror for trucks?
posted by Doleful Creature at 7:56 AM on June 2, 2016


welp, I guess I can guess the entire movie based on that trailer. I do kinda wanna see it, but I feel like I just saw all the best parts. American style movie trailers need to die.
posted by numaner at 7:59 AM on June 2, 2016


Looks kinda like a throwback to the kid/monster v g-men buddy pics of the eighties that ET perfected. I approve.
posted by Think_Long at 8:02 AM on June 2, 2016


"I touched his eye!"
posted by Kabanos at 8:03 AM on June 2, 2016


"What do you need?"

"More trucks."
posted by amtho at 8:08 AM on June 2, 2016


komara: " I was more into dinosaurs"

Did you not see that this is dinosaurs in trucks? Dinosaurs! In Trucks! This looks sooo dumb and goofy and I see two or three movies a year and, frankly, this looks a hell of a lot better than the last few I've seen.

Someone wanna loan me a kid so that, like GhostintheMachine, I'll have cover?
posted by straw at 8:13 AM on June 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


I will not spend money to see this in the theater. But the instant it hits a streaming service to which I subscribe, I will absolutely get stupid high and watch the hell out of it.

(It was the tentacle whipping out to catch the loose tire that sold me.)
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:14 AM on June 2, 2016 [4 favorites]


It's only not a sequel or an adaption until they retcon this into a Herbie origin story.

I'm hoping there's a post credits teaser for the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang vs KITT movie.

They're all part of the My Mother The Cariverse.
posted by condour75 at 8:20 AM on June 2, 2016 [5 favorites]


> retcon this into a Herbie origin story

& eventually Daleks. The g-men capture the monsters, breed & torture them until they're conscience-less hate creatures and weaponize the trucks. Oh, sorry, was this a fun thread?
posted by morganw at 8:28 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


My understanding is that this film was originally supposed to be released in May 2015, was pushed back to December 2015, then March 2016, and now January 2017.

That is usually a bad thing.
posted by Splunge at 8:57 AM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


> retcon this into a Herbie origin story

There would be a giant beetle under his hood presumably?
posted by Kabanos at 9:18 AM on June 2, 2016 [1 favorite]


Haha. Did that one

posted by mmrtnt at 10:35 AM on June 2, 2016


My understanding is that this film was originally supposed to be released in May 2015, was pushed back to December 2015, then March 2016, and now January 2017.

they are just waiting until more states legalize marijuana...
posted by ennui.bz at 11:04 AM on June 2, 2016 [5 favorites]


This looks fun! maybe not good, but fun! I'm totally in - once it hits something streaming. :)
posted by needlegrrl at 12:45 PM on June 2, 2016


Universal: stop everything you're doing with that silly Universal Monsters shared universe, and put all the monsters in Wacky Races style vehicles plzkthx
posted by jason_steakums at 3:50 PM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


File this one under "the worst things that happen when you legalize weed"

And honestly, the bonghead center of my brain was like "hahaha this looks fuckin HILARIOUS"
posted by emptythought at 4:02 PM on June 2, 2016


I can't wait for the porn parody: Mercury Cougars
posted by Kabanos at 4:16 PM on June 2, 2016 [2 favorites]


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