Relieve yourself triumphantly
June 5, 2016 2:35 PM   Subscribe

Along with her North Carolina concert, Cyndi Lauper has teamed up with Harvey Fierstein and the cast of KINKY BOOTS to bring us advice - Just Pee!

The video, filmed in the men's room at Broadway's Al Hirschfeld theater, uses rewritten lyrics to KINKY BOOTS' finale, "Just Be". Unlike other artists, Lauper went ahead with a planned North Carolina concert in the wake of the states' bathroom bill - and will be turning over all proceeds to various LGBT groups.
posted by EmpressCallipygos (64 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
 
I love everything about this including Cyndi Lauper and Harvey Fierstein.
posted by pipoquinha at 2:41 PM on June 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is so great.
posted by SisterHavana at 2:50 PM on June 5, 2016


via JAC Stringer: The trans movement (and cooptive cis participation) continues to promote genderqueer and non-binary erasure. If you're going to talk about trans people and our movement, do the work to get it right otherwise you need to give your resources to us. Don't make your own attention grabbing videos for for personal fame and/or ally points, give us resources, money, and support to do it ourselves. That is allyship.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 3:00 PM on June 5, 2016 [13 favorites]


I liked the video, because Cyndi Lauper. She's the bee's knees.
posted by parki at 3:17 PM on June 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


Note the partitions at the urinals.
posted by brujita at 3:32 PM on June 5, 2016


Awwwwwwwww! I love this. This is expresses it so well. Why the hell does it have to be such a big deal, why can't we just let people pee in whichever bathroom suits them best?
posted by WalkerWestridge at 3:48 PM on June 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


I love everything about this video.

I also note that the person I know (my cousin's girlfriend, who I am linked up to on Facebook) who is really freaked out about the whole thing is not weirded out by the trans part per se. She's afraid of dangerous and violent men taking this change as social permission to come into the private women only space of women's bathrooms in order to attack women. She's got an abuse history of her own, and a girl child. All the fabulousness in the world isn't going to make her relax.

Unless those 6'7", ultrafabulous, kinky-booted bathroom-goers use their might and moxie to ensure vigilante protection of the girlchildren of abuse survivors in public bathrooms. Hmmm.
posted by Sublimity at 3:51 PM on June 5, 2016


Note the partitions at the urinals.

That is indeed a well-designed bathroom. I wish all urinal-equipped bathrooms had partitions like those.

The toilet paper rolls on the flush handles was not the most realistic of touches, but it was certainly festive.
posted by Dip Flash at 3:57 PM on June 5, 2016 [3 favorites]


If you take the San Francisco Armory tour, after sitting around on the steps for however long and then checking in you will be told that your big chance to use the rest room before the tour is at hand -- and because the building was built for the all-male California National Guard, there is no separate ladies' room and it's unisex.

This was actually surprisingly un-difficult. Everyone who needed to sit down, which is to say all the ladies and the men who needed to poop, went to stalls where they had privacy, and the open urinal for the guys who just needed to whizz was actually on the far side of those. Washing hands in a unisex environment turns out not to be very intimidating. It really isn't a big deal.

Of course if you take the Armory tour you are also about to take a tour of a working BDSM porn studio, so the bathroom is likely to be the least of your worries. You will want to see the 55 gallon drums of personal lubricant though, those are a fave attraction.
posted by Bringer Tom at 4:00 PM on June 5, 2016 [16 favorites]


Wow, that's a lot of urinals. Very good for a place where everyone will want to pee at the exact same time!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:36 PM on June 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


"...and those who have yet to make up their mind"?? STFU.

I have to agree with roomthreeseventeen here. This does not seem well thought out or helpful. Are the women in the video trans? Why are they in the men's room? Doesn't that further the notion that trans women are really men? If they are not trans, but they are drag queens, that is odious and proof that no trans women were involved in the making of this. Also, are there any trans men in this?

This is like, life or death for trans people. Happy, clueless music videos made by cis people are not wanted or needed.
posted by AFABulous at 4:37 PM on June 5, 2016 [21 favorites]


Sublimity, you might point out to your cousin's girlfriend that forcing trans men to use the ladies room normalizes male-presenting people going into the ladies room. So now when she sees a man in the ladies room she won't know whether it's a cis man or someone who is being forced to use the ladies by the law. So men *will* be coming into the ladies room, and she would, essentially, have to ask them to see their birth certificate to know if they are cis men coming in to harass women, or trans men who are forced to be there by law.

Frankly, I think gendered restrooms are a problem. But for someone who's afraid of men coming into the ladies room, the bathroom law seems to actually make that situation worse.
posted by antinomia at 4:43 PM on June 5, 2016 [18 favorites]


She's got an abuse history of her own, and a girl child. All the fabulousness in the world isn't going to make her relax.

I'm sorry about your cousin's girlfriend's history, but that's on her to deal with. Trans people shouldn't be denied basic civil rights because something bad happened to someone (and it probably wasn't even a trans person who did it!). Besides, how is it going to relax her if I'm in the bathroom with her, and I'm a man?
posted by AFABulous at 4:43 PM on June 5, 2016 [18 favorites]


Reading sublimity's comment reminds me that people have such little ability to think beyond their own experiences.

I feel for SA survivors. I'm an SA survivor. I've been raped by more gay men than I care to go into details about right now.

So yeah I gotta live in the world with that everywhere I go but I can't go to the damn bathroom because someone is unable to "unsee" me as a man.

So basically my trauma means less than other cis woman trauma because I'm not granted the status the womanhood, only tacitly allowed it on cis terms as long as cis people's comfort is preserved. My comfort, my trauma, it doesn't mean shit. Cis dominance always wins the house money.
posted by Annika Cicada at 4:43 PM on June 5, 2016 [36 favorites]


Annika, that's so painful, I'm sorry.

I totally get what you all are saying, antnomia and A FABulous too--just noting that the fear that I observe behind the opposition is orthogonal to what this film is about.
posted by Sublimity at 4:51 PM on June 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


yeah, we both agree it's a terrible video then :)
posted by AFABulous at 4:55 PM on June 5, 2016


Not a helpful video. Transgender people are not drag queens.
posted by Brocktoon at 4:55 PM on June 5, 2016 [13 favorites]


I mean, I've seen the musical, and I don't think Lola is necessarily a drag queen, but you can't tell the nuance from this video, which makes it super confusing. They should just make all the bathrooms at the Hirschfeld all-gender and take video of their audiences going into whatever bathroom has the shortest line.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 5:10 PM on June 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trans person checking in: This is awful and they should feel bad.
posted by odinsdream at 5:36 PM on June 5, 2016 [5 favorites]


We're all good sublimity just here to offer up perspective. :-)
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:43 PM on June 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I ask this with the utmost sincerity: odinsdream, annika and others, do you want me to ask the mods to delete this? I meant absolutely no offense when posting, and would willingly kill it if you would prefer.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:00 PM on June 5, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm cool with keeping it here.
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:26 PM on June 5, 2016


I think it's a good opportunity to broaden our understandings and flex our ability to offer constructive criticism and all that other healthy positive inclusive wonderful stuff.
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:29 PM on June 5, 2016 [9 favorites]


When I read in the comment above "and those who have yet to make up their mind"
I thought: "oh. It's probably a lyric from the original and just wasn't altered
In a smart way."

BUT HOLY SHIT
It's their added, spoken-word, mid-song PSA.
Lauper and Fierstein FUCKING SHOUT IT AT US as the ONLY OTHER OPTION APART FROM MALE OR FEMALE!


What the ever loving fuck is that?
Christ. That is sickening, especially coming from "allies" who I have no doubt mean well.
Smh
posted by mer2113 at 6:45 PM on June 5, 2016 [6 favorites]


Maybe it's just me, but I totally don't understand this argument. Like a beskirted woman shaped object on the front door is going to stop somebody intent on attacking a young woman/girl in a bathroom? (Mostly) Nobody is doing that.

Unisex bathrooms aren't going to promote this, they're just gonna let me drop a deuce next to Janice from Accounting. I'm all for them. At the end of the day, does it really matter what gender the person peeing next to you is or wants to be? Last time I checked, we all pee.

Dammit, now I have to pee.
posted by Sphinx at 6:50 PM on June 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


Eventually someday far off from the not now world we live in all restrooms will not be gender or sex segregated (single and multi stall). It's already happening in some places in the U.S (Tacoma YWCA women's shelter for instance). Eventually it wil catch on.
posted by Annika Cicada at 7:06 PM on June 5, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's their added, spoken-word, mid-song PSA.

....which is in the original lyric, FWIW.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:24 PM on June 5, 2016


A few years back I used the restroom in a fancy hotel in San Diego (not one I was staying in, much too fancy). Even though I seriously had to pee, it took me a long time to decide that this was the proper restroom for me, as it was not labeled with an obvious "men" or "women." Once I went inside, I discovered that every stall was fully walled in, and it was just a no-big-deal unisex (omnisex? genderless?) restroom. It felt incredibly civilized, as though I'd just stepped into the utopian future from Star Trek.
posted by biogeo at 9:43 PM on June 5, 2016 [13 favorites]


This is terrible. Atrocious. Supposed trans women depicted in the men's room in support of letting us use whatever bathroom? Fuck your cheap gag. Fuck you Lauper, fuck you Fierstein, we do not need your bullshit advertising piggybacking on this.
posted by Dysk at 12:13 AM on June 6, 2016


Not a helpful video. Transgender people are not drag queens.

I totally understand the frustration at the conflation, but I do feel compelled to point out that some trans people are in fact drag queens.
posted by Dysk at 12:28 AM on June 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


This video seems wrongheaded in a bunch of ways. The whole point to this stupid controversy is that it's no big deal for a transgender person to just use the bathroom like everyone else. It's that they're (obviously!) not gonna be making some big fuss about it and start singing and dancing and making a big scene.

But this video is all, "Woo hoo! The transgender folks are in da house! Party in all the bathrooms!"
posted by straight at 2:32 AM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


....folks, my offer to delete this still stands if people dislike it this much and find it this insulting.

In the meantime, may I offer a defense to the intent, at least? I understand why the video itself comes across as insulting, but I've also seen comments that this is a look-at-me move on Cyndi's part - but her ongoing and longtime support for LGBT rights and LGBT youth cause me to suspect that instead, it's a case where emotion got ahead of thought, the way my own post did ("man, that bathroom bill in NC is so stupid, and it makes me so mad because people are just trying to pee - hey, wait, we have a song in the show called "Just Be".)

We in the cis community may stumble and fuck up, but some of us are at least trying, and mistakes don't necessarily mean we don't care.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:01 AM on June 6, 2016 [4 favorites]


Unless those 6'7", ultrafabulous, kinky-booted bathroom-goers use their might and moxie to ensure vigilante protection of the girlchildren of abuse survivors in public bathrooms. Hmmm.

Trans women are not men, even if we're tall. We're not more might than cuts women, we aren't there to fulfil some duty to protect poor weak cis women from harm, we are in fact much more likely to be harmed ourselves. I know this was likely meant as a tongue-in-cheek lighthearted comment, but really, if you're thinking of cracking some joke about a marginalised group you aren't a member of - no matter how benign or friendly it may seem to you - just don't.
posted by Dysk at 4:31 AM on June 6, 2016 [7 favorites]


We in the cis community may stumble and fuck up, but some of us are at least trying, and mistakes don't necessarily mean we don't care.

The thing is, it feels acutely like cis people don't care unless they can attempt to make a viral video or whatever. Like, great, the silver lining of North Carolina's shittiness is that some decent cis people noticed that trans people exist, but suddenly everything's about bathrooms all the damn time and aren't we such great allies. It feels like we're getting asked for ally cookies all over the place (or, worse, being used as a prop for people to demonstrate how progressive they are) without any of those people actually caring in a real way.

NB: EmpressCallipgyos, the above was 100% not about you specifically.
posted by hoyland at 4:34 AM on June 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


I think one issue with this laser focus on bathrooms is that it assumes (and reinforces) this incredibly normative transness, where people all fit neatly into a "man" or "woman" box (unless someone has just discovered gender neutral bathrooms exist--then obviously trans people should only pee there) and that a "successful" trans person is indistinguishable from a cis person of the same gender (and everyone else failed). And, moreover, it's assumed that once you've achieved this state of "success" your bathroom problems are solved unless some mean Republicans come along. It's been years since I did a real risk calculation before using a public bathroom, but the anxiety is still there. It's even there at work, where my gender has never been in question. When I'm out, I'll still choose where to pee based on where the "good" bathroom is, even though I don't realise I'm doing it.*

*Unless it's the damn Butterfly Bar. Then I'm intentionally peeing before I go. Who thought "Stalls don't need doors, just a curtain"!? No curtain might even be better. Not sure I could use it, but then you'd not be worrying about someone walking in on you.
posted by hoyland at 5:09 AM on June 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


Omg yeah butterfly bar hahahaha
posted by Annika Cicada at 5:43 AM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think a much truer representation of the issue is to show all kinds of cis nonconforming people. The problem I think is happening is that on the "path to acceptance" we trade in the grotesque, the camp, the uncomfortable for the pretty and desexualized male symbols or the hypersexulized female symbols. This totally denies the existence of most of the trans umbrella which is not necessarily tracking to the beauty standard.

I think that in addition to these 80's era campy, Broadway "fabulously gay" type statements there also needs to be creative works that show the everyday real people who will NEVER "have the look" or track to the beauty standard.

There seems to have been a point in the mid 90's where fabulously gay became fabulously straight acceptable hot. I feel like while that was helpful for gaining LG acceptance, that it was not all that healthy for a long term movement to base their gains on. Because a good damn whole lot of LGBT+ people make cis/hetero people feel uncomfortable. I believe the best way is to give those people a platform and a place in the world to be who they are. Not hide them, or erase them, or seek the prettiest ones to carry the message.
posted by Annika Cicada at 6:08 AM on June 6, 2016 [8 favorites]



We in the cis community may stumble and fuck up, but some of us are at least trying, and mistakes don't necessarily mean we don't care.


Some in the cis community may care, but "trying" means listening to and uplifting the voices of trans people, which is not what's happening here [in the video], given the almost universal opposition of trans people in this thread. Mistakes don't cost cis people anything, but again they can be life and death for trans people. Furthering the perception that trans women are really men in drag, and showing them using the men's room, puts trans women at severe risk of assault. "Oops, the audio is out of sync with the video" is a mistake. Misspelling Cyndi as Cindy is a mistake. This is a colossal blind spot.

I personally know a dozen trans filmmakers, artists, actors/dancers and musicians and I live in a mid-size city. Surely there are lots of them in NC. Just give money to them and have them make the video. Then put "made possible and distributed by Cyndi Lauper" for the name recognition.
posted by AFABulous at 8:19 AM on June 6, 2016 [8 favorites]


I kind of wish Lauper had stuck to the boycott. It actually seems to be putting a lot of pressure on the state. It's not great that it's squeezing IATSE types and venue owners who may well be on the right side of this, but shame and PSAs certainly aren't doing anything. Politicians don't care about shame, only votes.
posted by ctmf at 10:04 AM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Yeah, as one of those "who has yet to make up their mind," I was pretty horrified when I saw this the other day, especially coming from Lauper. I just went to a talk on homeless LGBTQ+ youth presented by someone from her True Colors Fund, and was so impressed by their considerations of gender diversity, so this is a real slap in the face from someone I'd have assumed knew what she was doing.
posted by libraritarian at 10:42 AM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Thanks to the people here who commented and gave me a little better understanding of some of the issues involved. Obviously I was not aware of many of them or had not been able to reach beyond my own experience (cis female) of the situation. I really do think this was well meant and not a blatant grab for attention, but I certainly agree based on what was brought up here, that this video is problematic in many ways.

Really, humbly, thank you Meta Filter.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 11:38 AM on June 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


I know that many find it exhaustive and discouraging to always be explaining their experiences as a member of a group who is the subject of hate, predjudice and stigma. But it has an effect, it helps. Without your insight I would probably have happily and cluelessly shared this on line. I won't be doing that now.
posted by WalkerWestridge at 11:58 AM on June 6, 2016


Dysk, yes, in general, the trans women in my world are not fierce Amazonian glam queens. I was remarking that the energy of the show might be more effective with the opposition I'm aware of, if it were directed at the thing that the opposition actually fears.

I'd hope that any woman would step in and help if a little girl were being assaulted in a bathroom, just like I pray to God that someone would intervene if anyone started assaulting my teenager, a trans guy, in a bathroom.
posted by Sublimity at 12:18 PM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


I was remarking that the energy of the show might be more effective with the opposition I'm aware of, if it were directed at the thing that the opposition actually fears.

And I was pointing out why doing that would inherently not be a good look either.
posted by Dysk at 12:22 PM on June 6, 2016


if it were directed at the thing that the opposition actually fears.

The thing that the opposition actually fears is "trans people". Not "fake trans people using bathroom access to assault their children". We are not going to logic them out of finding trans people icky.
posted by Etrigan at 12:23 PM on June 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


For reference "Ladies, gentleman, and those who are yet to make up your minds..." is a quote from the 2005 movie (spoken by the transgender drag queen lead character as the opening to one of her stage performances).

Not that that excuses their decision to use such binary language in their interlude - they could have chosen a different quote or not used one at all.
posted by Secret Sparrow at 12:46 PM on June 6, 2016


Etrigan, actually no, the person I know who's most vocally against the bathroom thing actually doesn't find trans people icky. Please see my comments above.
posted by Sublimity at 1:01 PM on June 6, 2016


the person I know who's most vocally against the bathroom thing actually doesn't find trans people icky.

She thinks that someone who would attack another human being is somehow being stopped by a sign on a door? Sorry, I don't buy it -- just like I don't buy it being used as an excuse by all the other people who claim to be valiantly defending the children. Your cousin's girlfriend finds trans people icky, but manages to mask it most of the time, or thinks of any trans person she actually knows as one of the good ones.
posted by Etrigan at 1:14 PM on June 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


Some in the cis community may care, but "trying" means listening to and uplifting the voices of trans people, which is not what's happening here [in the video], given the almost universal opposition of trans people in this thread.

I agree, for the record. I was speaking more to the notion that Cyndi was only making this video to "earn cookies" or whatever.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:35 PM on June 6, 2016


love and props to roomthreeseventeen, hoyland, Annika Cicada, AFABulous, and Dysk for saying it all so good before i even got here.

Sublimity, you may also wish to check out A Guide to the Debunked 'Bathroom Predator' Myth. the whole OMG SEXUAL ASSAULT thing is being deployed for evil reasons against the rights of my people.
posted by beefetish at 1:56 PM on June 6, 2016 [2 favorites]


(also hey empress, as aside, iterating that people mean well is kind of a pain in the ass)
posted by beefetish at 2:00 PM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fwiw, I'd love to write a more detailed, cogent comment about why this is a problematic thing, but I just truly lack the energy right now. Ya see, I just read on FB about the murder of yet another trans woman whose body was found stuffed in luggage.

So, if you don't mind, maybe consider that the message of "just pee" (as if we're the ones who need to be reassured) delivered by a bunch of apparently cis people in a production that probably cost somewhere around, what, 60k?, is, at best, ridiculously tone-deaf, and more likely actually harmful.
posted by odinsdream at 2:01 PM on June 6, 2016 [3 favorites]


Beefetish, thanks for the link. I've been working on the whole thing with her, that trans people aren't what she has a problem with here, and that the consequences are important. I can use all the help I can get.

I agree it's against your people, and indeed my people as well (I have a trans teenaged kid). I understand her fear as a mother and I understand the fears and concerns of trans people too. Why can't we all just get along?
posted by Sublimity at 2:24 PM on June 6, 2016


I am a mother too and as a trans woman I have more reason to fear men in the women's restroom than your cisgender sister does, that much is guaranteed.
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:44 PM on June 6, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sublimity, the problem is that her fear is fake. every time you keep doing the "lol cant we all just get along" thing you are acting like these are two rational positions that conflict and we need to find some kind of way to integrate the two, instead of one position that is straight up made up.

This may be one of the many reasons why we can't all get along!

Here is another article that explains why "diversity of opinion" like in this case ends up reinforcing normative opinions, like the bathroom myth.

Opinions Are Abundant and Low-Value
posted by beefetish at 2:45 PM on June 6, 2016 [8 favorites]


The real actual deep down fear is "what if I can't tell men from women anymore" when the truth is, you never could.
posted by Annika Cicada at 2:46 PM on June 6, 2016 [5 favorites]


haha yes "what if the ideas i've been told about what men and women are are actually fake and I have to readjust my perceptions of reality? oh shit!!!!!!!!"
posted by beefetish at 2:47 PM on June 6, 2016


[One comment deleted; this is obviously very close to home for folks here, it's sort of weird to keep pressing on "why should I respect your fear" and talking about this one particular friend. The one particular friend can deal with her own stuff, we don't need to solve her issue here.]
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 3:18 PM on June 6, 2016 [6 favorites]


Hugs everyone. This thread is getting weird now I'm gonna go do something else.
posted by Annika Cicada at 3:24 PM on June 6, 2016


But this video is all, "Woo hoo! The transgender folks are in da house! Party in all the bathrooms!"

Yeah, this was my first thought. This isn't going to make nervous cis-gendered people relax about all this. This is going to make them more nervous.
posted by greermahoney at 7:49 PM on June 6, 2016


Message received, I am shutting up to listen, me mail me too if you want this gone.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 3:38 AM on June 7, 2016


Okay, I thought about it last night and this is kinda where I feel about the whole bathroom thang and why it just needs to be dropped.

What cis people feel when first confronted with the bathroom question I *think* feels very similar to how I as a trans person felt when I was first confronted with no longer able to use the men's room (because let me tell you, the stares were getting really bad). The feeling is one of anxiety and panic, the world feeling like it's turning upside down, the fear is real. It is scary to confront our societies rules around "where girls and boys are allowed".

I understand that fear. I don't want ANYONE to have to feel it. Cis, Trans, whoever.

Cis people fear: "If I can't reliably tell men from women then how to we enforce gender segregation and keep women safe from men seeking to harm?"
Trans people fear: "I need to use the bathroom where I feel the safest and I can't reliably tell which restroom that is."

So how do we alleviate these fears for *everyone*?

Well, we need to break it down a little.

The fear we *all* feel is abstracted to: "I can't reliably tell x from y anymore, I just want to feel safe".

That means both cis AND trans are experiencing a very similar feeling around the bathrooms, a fear that I would say is transnormative, because for trans people that fear goes WAY WAY WAY WAY beyond just the freaking damn restroom. Trans people feel that *EVERYWHERE*. Because that fear of the gendered and sexed world breaking down is baked into the trans experience, it is IMO a large part of what makes "the trans experience". Ergo, bathroom panic is a transnormative experience that cis people are having to confront and feel. So cis people who have "the bathroom fear", welcome to trans personhood.

So what the in the ever loving fuck do we do about this?

My preference is that *NO ONE* feels bathroom fear. I don't want cis people to have to live with the bathroom fear and I don't want trans people to have to worry about cis people who have the bathroom fear acting rudely or violently towards trans people just trying to get by in the world.

I believe the best way to accomplish this is for cis people to stop thinking about "what if I can't tell x from y anymore" and just go back to the firmer ground of cis personhood. Trans people will probably never feel all that secure navigating sex and gender in the world because the biological dominance of the cis majority, so I feel that if cis people remain on firm ground at least the transnormative panic and anxiety is not magnifying in the world.

So why do cis people need to stop being afraid then?

Here's the deal: Cisnormativity is a *HUGE MASSIVE* force, like, cis people, you can't even begin to realize just how much force and power cisnormativity exerts on *literally everything we do as a species*. That's why a single issue where the gendered and sexed rules go into liminiality can cause what looks like to me an almost segregationist split in this country. Cisnormativity demands SO FUCKING MUCH. Trust me please, it's like a crushing atmosphere you can't escape when your gender "slips out" of cisnormativity.

Since cisnormativity is such a huge overwhelming force, NO ONE is going to go traipse through transnormativity for the larfs. There's a reason why gender nonconforming (trans incl.) people worry so much and struggle about all this, because it's not just some random ass thing you up and decide one day. Cisnormativity DOMINATES. Cis people, the gender construct you live in *crushes* gender NC ppl. Literally no one is going to just one day decide to be one gender and the next day decide to be another. Cisnormativity will never allow that.

So basically that means cis people, you can just forget about the bathroom thing and go back into cisnormativity. You can literally stop worrying about it. Cisnormativity protects you.

Once you all stop worrying about it, trans people can have one less thing to worry about as well! And one basic part of our overall life anxiety "because trans" is lessened because now the anxiety of "which bathroom best suits my gender" does not have the additional fear of worrying about wether or not cis people are having a similar gender liminal freakout.

So to wrap it all up: cis people, get out of my trans experience and go back to being cis.
posted by Annika Cicada at 7:14 AM on June 7, 2016 [17 favorites]


(just so everyone knows I use trans in that comment to mean the entire whole range of all types of gender non-conforming people and not just binary trans ppl)

(also I use transnormativity not to endorse any particular part or facet of it, just as a way of framing up how trans people do not operate under cisnormative rules)
posted by Annika Cicada at 8:24 AM on June 7, 2016 [2 favorites]




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