Temporal Gentrification

June 17, 2016 10:06 AM

"The past is like a foreign country: They have weird McDonald’s specials there. Here, it's a burger with olives and larks' tongues; it's called the McTrojan Deluxe, which makes it sound like there's something sneaky hiding inside it, which if you hate olives is true. I hate olives. But they also serve wine, so I'm drinking lots of wine. It’s unpleasantly packed in the restaurant, but then, it’s packed everywhere." Time Travel tourism takes off in 'Trojan Horses' a short story by Jess Zimmerman

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posted by The Whelk (17 comments total)

you can go to an authentic vomitorium

* sigh *
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 10:17 AM on June 17, 2016 [20 favorites]

Elkomwé ainjerstré,

HAHAHAHA!

I was just reading one of my favorite subreddits, r/WritingPrompts:

You are sent over 1000 years into the past by accident. You must now learn to survive using the primitive technology of the year 2016...
posted by the man of twists and turns at 10:17 AM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

(I like to think a time travel tourist agency would set up fake real vomituria)
posted by The Whelk at 10:20 AM on June 17, 2016 [6 favorites]

Sometimes I worry that I'm being followed. By time travelers. It's pretty hard to prove, though, because they always arrive at my destination before I do.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:56 AM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mashing up H Beam Piper and Coldplay: Para-para-paratime.
posted by GuyZero at 11:05 AM on June 17, 2016

A time traveler walks out of a bar.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:11 AM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Vomitorium.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:19 AM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Is Vomitorium Week Metafilter's Shark Week?
posted by GuyZero at 11:27 AM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

Dear vomitorium fact-checkers:

Maybe it's possible that the narrator's understanding of what a "vomitorium" is in this fictional story where ancient Rome is made of modern materials is not historically accurate? Maybe that is part of the story.
posted by purpleclover at 11:28 AM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

Maybe. Maybe not. Anyway, I liked the story.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:51 AM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

The author is aware of this thread and appears to be a Mefite.

And now the ouroboros of pedantic criticism is complete.
posted by jedicus at 12:01 PM on June 17, 2016 [4 favorites]

How many time travelers does it take to screw in a- never mind, it's already fixed.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:12 PM on June 17, 2016 [2 favorites]

I feel shame.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:13 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Vintage Season.
posted by ovvl at 6:13 PM on June 17, 2016 [1 favorite]

Elkomwé ainjerstré

Okay, that took me a while.
posted by eykal at 2:10 AM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

(Google Translate is apparently convinced that's Czech, turns out)
posted by eykal at 2:12 AM on June 18, 2016 [1 favorite]

Urg, authorsplaining.
posted by Bugbread at 11:34 PM on June 20, 2016