The Inspirational Capybara
June 26, 2016 4:22 PM Subscribe
I happened to find the Kapibarasan shop in Tokyo Station (#6 on the list) and my only regret is that I didn't buy a larger Kapibarasan to bring home. Another reason to go back!
posted by mogget at 4:52 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by mogget at 4:52 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Somehow, this non-capybara gif needs to be in this thread.
posted by Pyrogenesis at 5:16 PM on June 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
posted by Pyrogenesis at 5:16 PM on June 26, 2016 [5 favorites]
mogget: I might be doing a Japan trip in the next year and honestly a kapybarasan purchase and Capybara petting zoo visit are the only things for sure on the list so far.
posted by MillMan at 5:34 PM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by MillMan at 5:34 PM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]
Toronto Capybara Status: Still On The Loose!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:10 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:10 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Unit of Measure, by Sandra Beasley
All can be measured by the standard of the capybara.
Everyone is lesser than or greater than the capybara.
Everything is taller or shorter than the capybara.
Everything is mistaken for a Brazilian dance craze
more or less frequently than the capybara.
Everyone eats greater or fewer watermelons
than the capybara. Everyone eats more or less bark.
Everyone barks more than or less than the capybara,
who also whistles, clicks, grunts, and emits what is known
as his alarm squeal. Everyone is more or less alarmed
than a capybara, who—because his back legs
are longer than his front legs—feels like
he is going downhill at all times.
Everyone is more or less a master of grasses
than the capybara. Or going by the scientific name,
more or less Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris—
or, going by the Greek translation, more or less
water hog. Everyone is more or less
of a fish than the capybara, defined as the outermost realm
of fishdom by the 16th-century Catholic Church.
Everyone is eaten more or less often for Lent than
the capybara. Shredded, spiced, and served over plantains,
everything tastes more or less like pork
than the capybara. Before you decide that you are
greater than or lesser than a capybara, consider
that while the Brazilian capybara breeds only once a year,
the Venezuelan variety mates continuously.
Consider the last time you mated continuously.
Consider the year of your childhood when you had
exactly as many teeth as the capybara—
twenty—and all yours fell out, and all his
kept growing. Consider how his skin stretches
in only one direction. Accept that you are stretchier
than the capybara. Accept that you have foolishly
distributed your eyes, ears, and nostrils
all over your face. Accept that now you will never be able
to sleep underwater. Accept that the fish
will never gather to your capybara body offering
their soft, finned love. One of us, they say, one of us,
but they will not say it to you.
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:26 PM on June 26, 2016 [16 favorites]
All can be measured by the standard of the capybara.
Everyone is lesser than or greater than the capybara.
Everything is taller or shorter than the capybara.
Everything is mistaken for a Brazilian dance craze
more or less frequently than the capybara.
Everyone eats greater or fewer watermelons
than the capybara. Everyone eats more or less bark.
Everyone barks more than or less than the capybara,
who also whistles, clicks, grunts, and emits what is known
as his alarm squeal. Everyone is more or less alarmed
than a capybara, who—because his back legs
are longer than his front legs—feels like
he is going downhill at all times.
Everyone is more or less a master of grasses
than the capybara. Or going by the scientific name,
more or less Hydrochoerus hydrochaeris—
or, going by the Greek translation, more or less
water hog. Everyone is more or less
of a fish than the capybara, defined as the outermost realm
of fishdom by the 16th-century Catholic Church.
Everyone is eaten more or less often for Lent than
the capybara. Shredded, spiced, and served over plantains,
everything tastes more or less like pork
than the capybara. Before you decide that you are
greater than or lesser than a capybara, consider
that while the Brazilian capybara breeds only once a year,
the Venezuelan variety mates continuously.
Consider the last time you mated continuously.
Consider the year of your childhood when you had
exactly as many teeth as the capybara—
twenty—and all yours fell out, and all his
kept growing. Consider how his skin stretches
in only one direction. Accept that you are stretchier
than the capybara. Accept that you have foolishly
distributed your eyes, ears, and nostrils
all over your face. Accept that now you will never be able
to sleep underwater. Accept that the fish
will never gather to your capybara body offering
their soft, finned love. One of us, they say, one of us,
but they will not say it to you.
posted by ActionPopulated at 7:26 PM on June 26, 2016 [16 favorites]
Sun-worshipping dog launchers! You face The Tick, and his dog, Speak!
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:29 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:29 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I've been stuck on that Sandra Beasley poem for a while now, to the point that I'm thinking of doing it for the annual talent showcase (not a talent show, as they point out, since there is no winner) where I work.
I figure I can come up with a slideshow for the background with various lovely photos of capybaras to accompany it, no problem. Yeah, most people (including my manager, who is the MC for the show) will think I'm weird, but anyone who doesn't already think so doesn't know me, so…
posted by Lexica at 7:47 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
I figure I can come up with a slideshow for the background with various lovely photos of capybaras to accompany it, no problem. Yeah, most people (including my manager, who is the MC for the show) will think I'm weird, but anyone who doesn't already think so doesn't know me, so…
posted by Lexica at 7:47 PM on June 26, 2016 [2 favorites]
Once again: like courts martial or postmasters general, it is cappies bara.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:48 PM on June 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:48 PM on June 26, 2016 [7 favorites]
Capybaras! They're everywhere (even the alphabet thread had them). But they seem to kill Youtube videos.
posted by Namlit at 10:50 PM on June 26, 2016
posted by Namlit at 10:50 PM on June 26, 2016
You beat me to the Speak reference Slap*Happy, and for that, I will be your loyal pet forever. It's the law of the jungle.
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:13 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by ursus_comiter at 6:13 AM on June 27, 2016 [1 favorite]
defined as the outermost realm of fishdom by the 16th-century Catholic Church. Everyone is eaten more or less often for Lent than the capybara.
I do so love the Rasputina song about this.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:33 PM on June 27, 2016
I do so love the Rasputina song about this.
posted by FatherDagon at 12:33 PM on June 27, 2016
Ah excellent! This was the only unresolved question from the most recent alphabet thread. Now I can sleep peacefully again.
posted by Namlit at 11:05 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
posted by Namlit at 11:05 AM on June 28, 2016 [1 favorite]
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posted by oneswellfoop at 4:48 PM on June 26, 2016 [1 favorite]