RNC Part III: Return Of The Nominee (probably)
July 20, 2016 9:20 AM   Subscribe

Donald Trump is officially the Republican nominee for president, but there are still two days left for the Republican National Convention in Cleveland, OH.

Today's (July 20) schedule ostensibly focuses on "opportunity and prosperity," and speakers on the agenda include Trump's running mate Gov. Mike Pence of Indiana, former presidential candidates Scott Walker, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz and Newt Gingrich, and non-politicians Laura Ingraham, Darrell Scott and Harold Hamm. This evening's Trump family member is his son Eric Trump, and satirists will be Googling frantically to see if his speech, like those delivered by his stepmother Melania and brother Donald Jr., is partially recycled.

By grace of the mods there will be a new RNC thread each day for discussion and live-blogging, but if you want to watch the events for yourself there are video streams courtesy of CBS/Twitter, C-Span, the RNC itself and even Twitch.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish (1708 comments total) 43 users marked this as a favorite
 

. . . and what's left over is what they make cheese out of.
 
posted by Herodios at 9:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


wait, there's a Twitch stream of the RNC? Does that explain everything? Are Twitch users all entering commands all at the same time, so that explains why the RNC has made literally zero sense?
posted by mightygodking at 9:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [58 favorites]


Twitch is what I'd do a lot of if I actually did watch.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]




My favorite Twitch moment so far was Flynn saying "Wake up, America," met with a wall of ResidentSleeper.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 9:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


If Eric Trump has a soul in his body, he will open his speech with "Four score and seven years ago..."
posted by delfin at 9:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


I'm working in a remote spot out on the West Coast, so I haven't been able to watch this as closely as I normally would. Metafilter has been invaluable for keeping updated AND being one of the finest snark repositories on the web. That said...

What's the scene been like outside the Q? There had been many predictions of violence or conflict between Trumpites/anti-Trumpites/police/etc. (pick any combination) but I don't see much in the way of news to that effect.

Is it actually calm? Are the groups just segregated very well? Is there violence but it's not being covered?
posted by The Notorious SRD at 9:28 AM on July 20, 2016


Great- another day of getting the hoopleheads all riled up again.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


Since this doesn't start until 7 pm eastern, maybe we should all take a nap and start drinking so we're well prepared?
posted by AFABulous at 9:29 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Large Show of Force but Fews Arrests at RNC
Despite a wide spectrum of political viewpoints among convention protesters this week, police have made only a handful (five) of arrests, and they were mostly minor offenses.

The biggest scuffle so far was at Public Square yesterday with communists, conservative radio host Alex Jones, Bikers for Trump, and the Westboro Baptist Church all on hand.

One man lunged at another and Police Chief Calvin Williams was caught in the middle and nearly went down. ["He's fine."] Officers charged into the scene and took over the square but no one was arrested.

And that’s been the system . . . Police have been overlooking all manner of violations as long as no person or property is hurt.

“We’re trying to work with people and that’s been our posture all along.”

It doesn’t hurt to have thousands of officers from [from 100 different departments] coast to coast to help out. They’ve been able to nearly surround any group that takes to the streets, radios crackling with alerts about any armed or suspicious person.

“They’re really, really visible. We’ve got squads of men and women walking in uniform throughout downtown . . . we want people to know we are here and we want you to be safe.” -- police spokesman Jennifer Ciaccia
posted by Herodios at 9:29 AM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


The biggest scuffle so far was at Public Square yesterday with communists, conservative radio host Alex Jones, Bikers for Trump, and the Westboro Baptist Church all on hand.

God Bless America.
posted by clawsoon at 9:30 AM on July 20, 2016 [53 favorites]




another day of getting the hoopleheads all riled up again.

Every day takes figuring out all over again how to fucking live.
posted by penduluum at 9:32 AM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Apparently the copying of passages from Michelle Obama was a "mistake"
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:36 AM on July 20, 2016


Apparently the copying of passages from Michelle Obama was a "mistake"

Well that's cleared up, then.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:38 AM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


maybe we should all take a nap and start drinking so we're well prepared?

A friend of mine works for the local news and was sent to Cleveland this week. I have noticed a number of Untappd check-ins from him during the daytime. These things are related.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:38 AM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


Apparently the copying of passages from Michelle Obama was a "mistake"

I'm sure it was a mistake. I'm betting that some staffer pulled transcripts from previous speeches as a starting draft, just for example, and then some other staffer thought it was the actual draft. And then no one thought to review for quality control.
posted by mochapickle at 9:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]




I'm leaning toward Melania honestly not realizing it would be a big deal if she borrowed a few paragraphs from Michelle's speech. She probably just googled "First Lady convention speeches" and thought "Oh, that looks good."
posted by EarBucket at 9:40 AM on July 20, 2016 [30 favorites]


focusing on "did she or didn't she plagiarize" is a tactical move to keep the conversation away from the vile shit said by the politicians
posted by rebent at 9:42 AM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


At this point I wish everybody in the Trump camp plagiarized from Michelle Obama. Nothing would make me happier than to see them parroting her words constantly. It would be better than plagiarizing Joseph Goebbels like they've been doing.
posted by koeselitz at 9:42 AM on July 20, 2016 [76 favorites]


They can't even fuck up properly.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:42 AM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


I doubt Melania did any research on her own for the speech. She probably sat around expecting to be handed a finished draft and did like one half-run-through.
posted by zutalors! at 9:42 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Perhaps it's just the fact that it's the early part of the convention, but I am surprised at how unfocused the GOP seems to be over all of this. I get that Trump only speaks in generalities, and doesn't really have a policy per se, but even so it all seems...muddled. makes me chuckle, tbh.
posted by OHenryPacey at 9:43 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


A person she has always liked is Michelle Obama

Even in their spin they can't make any sense. Do they not listen to the actual things they have said in the hour before they just spoke?
posted by phearlez at 9:43 AM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


The Trump Campaign has found a designated speedbump.

The idea that the person who wrote that letter is also helping write speeches ... well I was going to say "strains credulity" but then I remembered literally every instant of the last 12 months.
posted by penduluum at 9:44 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


last night I was talking about the plagiarism with a friend and a stranger just dropped into our conversation to discuss it. It's the main topic so far for better or worse.
posted by zutalors! at 9:44 AM on July 20, 2016


Trump’s followers may not believe the media, but they are proud to believe a good many impossible things before breakfast

Oh my god, this tweet is amazing. How can so much be so wrong in so few characters?
posted by maryr at 9:44 AM on July 20, 2016 [48 favorites]


then I remembered literally every instant of the last 12 months.

and dropped dead of despair, presumably?
posted by Spathe Cadet at 9:45 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


From the previous thread

Trump is more like a mayor than a president - a terrible, corrupt populist mayor that everyone knows is bent and venal, who doesn't bother to hide it, but people vote for because that's what mayors are, and everyone enjoys it when they get caught but won't lift a finger to make it happen... I don't truly understand how such people get and keep power, but they do.

I wonder whether, in a polarising culture war, the corruption can't sometimes be an advantage. (i.e., You know this guy's a crook who doesn't care about the rules, but you also know he's on your side, and against the liberals/elites/foreigners. Would you rather have someone who played by the rules and pulled his punches? The enemy, after all, is evil and won't pull their punches.) I suspect that's what worked for Rob Ford, for example



The expression is "He may be a bastard, but he's our bastard".
posted by lalochezia at 9:45 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


The expression we've been using around here to describe the Team Trump response to this issue is "clusterfuck trainwreck." Share it with someone you love.
posted by mosk at 9:46 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


A person she has always liked is Michelle Obama

That's from a paid Trump Family ghostwriter, who appears to be neither a credible writer nor a credible ghost.
posted by holgate at 9:47 AM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


Plagiarizing Michelle Obama is literally the one and only thing the Trump campaign has done so far that doesn't make me contemplate suicide.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:47 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


It's been interesting getting campaign emails from the Clinton campaign. Not a word about the copied speech, and they've been matching the tenor of Metafilter's threads about it:

When I emailed you yesterday, I thought the behavior at the RNC couldn't get a whole lot worse. Tuesday night proved me wrong.

Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey (and a possible attorney general if Trump wins), stood on stage and accused Hillary of being a criminal, bellowing “GUILTY" over and over again as the crowd egged him on.

He had the entire arena chanting "lock her up" -- a cry that has become the mantra of the RNC.

If you closed your eyes, you could imagine it being a lot like a witch trial -- they were barely one step removed from screaming "burn her at the stake."

It felt like a dark turning point in American politics -- a sign that our nation is on the brink of something dangerous that we might not recover from.


...

Last night, prominent Republican Congressman Steve King went on national news and said that white people have contributed more to civilization than any other race.

King’s comments were widely reported as a textbook example of white supremacy, and it wasn't the first time the party of Trump has had a disturbing connection to white supremacy in recent months.

After notorious former KKK leader David Duke endorsed Trump, Trump said he “didn’t know enough” about the KKK to disavow Duke’s endorsement.


Granted, the media is doing the job for her, so she really doesn't need to cover that. It's nice the campaign is focusing on how horribly racist and gross the campaign is.
posted by zabuni at 9:47 AM on July 20, 2016 [40 favorites]


Trump is Tony Soprano. Everyone who loved The Sopranos hated Tony Soprano but got a thrill from watching him in action. But that thrill doesn't last forever.
posted by argybarg at 9:48 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


To recap:

- Melania wrote her own speech all by herself
- There's just some similarities okay, some of the words are in the same order
- Look, Michelle Obama doesn't own the English language
- My Little Pony!
- It's only seven percent of the speech why are you so upset
- Hillary is making everybody do this because she hates women
- Melania didn't even write the speech, her speechwriter did
- Oh wait the speechwriter says he didn't write the plagiarized passages for Melania
- Okay here's a second speechwriter who's saying it's all her fault and she ruined Melania's beautiful prose

This campaign is a dumpster fire.
posted by mightygodking at 9:48 AM on July 20, 2016 [163 favorites]


> Perhaps it's just the fact that it's the early part of the convention, but I am surprised at how unfocused the GOP seems to be over all of this.

Yeah, remember the days when Republicans were good at message control? It's like they were sitting on a cage full of rabid minks for decades, barely holding the latch shut, and now they've burst out and are biting everyone, including themselves.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:48 AM on July 20, 2016 [41 favorites]


focusing on "did she or didn't she plagiarize" is a tactical move to keep the conversation away from the vile shit said by the politicians

See but it can't be, because the people supposedly engaging in that tactical move are the same people saying the vile shit, in which case if they wanted to hide it from observers maybe they could just stop saying it in the first fucking place. Let's not attribute to occult political genius what's better explained by blundering ineptitude, I'm saying.
posted by penduluum at 9:48 AM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


Sound advice from The Coquette:
In terms of percentages, how much should I laugh at the RNC situation versus cowering in fear?
100% laughter. No cowering. Fear is what those assholes are selling. Don’t buy it.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 9:49 AM on July 20, 2016 [79 favorites]


This campaign is a dumpster fire.

Trumpster fire.
posted by EarBucket at 9:49 AM on July 20, 2016 [35 favorites]




I feel like the competent Republicans are just phoning it in - breaking it out when they absolutely have to (like when we threatened to spike the nomination) and the rest of the time just holing up in private areas drinking.
posted by corb at 9:51 AM on July 20, 2016 [39 favorites]


I like how the sacrificial speechwriter affirms that Melania should have known those were Michelle Obama's words and should have recognized them when they turned up in the written draft, having supplied them to the speechwriter herself. Top notch falling on your sword there, good job!

Trump is Tony Soprano.


Tony Soprano was capable of introspection.
posted by prize bull octorok at 9:52 AM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


The Notorious SRD,

As a local (white cis male, liberal) watching from the sidelines, this has gone a bit 'smoother' than I have anticipated. *knocks on wooden desk* If you're looking for activists directly involved, checkout this person (I'm actively seeking others directly on the ground). Twitter-wise, I'd stay away from the police scanners, they've tweeted numerous reports of events including broken windows and a stabbing, that have NOT taken place and that have been debunked. Also, good local, reliable coverage from Belt Magazine, an indie mag based in Cleveland [throw some coin at them if you wish!].
There's been some confrontations (re: yesterday with Alex Jones and a variety of groups) notably yesterday, but less than 10 arrests and no major injuries reported. This has been the most tense footage that I've found. The armed people on Public Square was reported to be a big thing on Sunday/Monday ended up only being less than 5 people that day; but one of my volunteers who lives on West 25th (gentrifying area, with several popular bars and breweries like GLBC, less than 2 miles from the Q) has seen multiple people throughout the week carrying rifles (Ohio is Open Carry) up and down the street, and I've heard the same of this occurring in cars as well

A friend works downtown, they've reported more police and media than actual protesters. A couple more friends posted on facebook have gone downtown just to check it out and weren't frazzled or noted anything on the streets that's being minimized by the MSM or underreported.

Thankfully, the inflammatory Cleveland Police Union head Steve Loomis (history of victim-blaming, siding with CPD on all issues) has been quiet and stayed away from the protest since Sunday.

The weather has been very comfortable for Cleveland this time year - upper 70s, partly sunny, with a slight breeze. This certainly hasn't fueled tensions. However, it's predicted to be much more warmer and muggier as well later this week.
posted by fizzix at 9:52 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


and the rest of the time just holing up in private areas drinking.

Who knew I had the perfect resume to be a competent Republican
posted by beerperson at 9:53 AM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


The expression is "He may be a bastard, but he's our bastard".

A spherical bastard -- looks like a bastard from every angle.
 
posted by Herodios at 9:53 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


In terms of percentages, how much should I laugh at the RNC situation versus cowering in fear? 100% laughter. No cowering. Fear is what those assholes are selling. Don’t buy it.

I dunno. I was pretty alarmed by what transpired yesterday. Christie's weird, blooodthirsty witch hunt mock trial? Carson casually suggesting that Hillary is in cahoots with the devil? All the casual racism and misogyny? And what's worse, people actually agreeing with it. I'm worried it's going to get much, much worse before it gets better.
posted by mochapickle at 9:55 AM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]




Who knew I had the perfect resume to be a competent Republican

Maybe, but they're not hiring.
posted by phearlez at 9:56 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


No cowering. Fear is what those assholes are selling. Don’t buy it.

I think I remember this. With mountain lions you make yourself look bigger to scare them away. With bears you should curl up in a ball and cover your head.
posted by beerperson at 9:56 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trump is more like a mayor than a president

Very much so, but a very specific type of mayor: the kind they had in New York City in the 19th century. Trump would fit in perfectly in Tammany Hall.
posted by wabbittwax at 9:57 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


With mountain lions you make yourself look bigger to scare them away. With bears you should curl up in a ball and cover your head.

And when confronted by a dragon, point out calmly but firmly to them that they don't exist.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:59 AM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


another day of getting the hoopleheads all riled up again.

Every day takes figuring out all over again how to fucking live.


MAKE AMERICA SWEARENGEN
posted by miles per flower at 9:59 AM on July 20, 2016 [73 favorites]


With bears you should curl up in a ball and cover your head.

In tourist shops in Iceland, they sell fridge magnets and T-shirts with the silhouette of a polar bear and below it, “KEEP CALM AND PLAY DEAD” in Gill Sans.
posted by acb at 10:00 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


This campaign is a dumpster fire.

No no. Dumpsters are designed to contain fires and keep them from spreading. This campaign may be a giant trash fire, but it's not organized enough to be a dumpster fire.

(HuffPo has a backgrounder on dumpster fires and the history of the phrase, so don't say you've never found useful information from them.)
posted by zachlipton at 10:00 AM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


Trump is more like a mayor than a president

Mayor may not. Hopefully, not.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:00 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


The Single Most Radical Line In The Republican Party Platform
The Constitution, by its own terms, is the “supreme law of the land.” All judges are bound by the words of the Constitution, and all laws made by legislatures within the United States must yield to the Constitution’s provisions. This is the central insight of the American republic — the idea that the structure and limits of government are laid out in a written document, and that document is binding on all government actors subject to its terms.

The Republican Party’s 2016 Platform rejects this concept outright.
posted by homunculus at 10:01 AM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


I like how the sacrificial speechwriter affirms that Melania should have known those were Michelle Obama's words and should have recognized them when they turned up in the written draft, having supplied them to the speechwriter herself. Top notch falling on your sword there, good job!

I think that letter is Melania falling on her sword, with the "speechwriter" being delegated to report on it.
posted by OmieWise at 10:01 AM on July 20, 2016


Well when you are watching 40+ years of building the Republican brand get flushed down the toilet just about anyone competent is probably going to take refuge in a bottle.

It's not like there is anything that can be done to stop the trainwreck it's mainly about ducking the flying debris and updating your resume to sanitize the parts related to Trump.

That and calling up frat buddies and asking if they are hiring.
posted by vuron at 10:01 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


A few threads at Reddit with well over 5000 upvotes and well over 5000 responses each address the Melania plagiarization of Michelle Obama, but none make the front page. Why is this?

(Apologies if asking this on MF is wrong.)
posted by lothar at 10:01 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trump would fit in perfectly in Tammany Hall.

Tammany Hall liked immigrants and helped them.
posted by maxsparber at 10:01 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


“KEEP CALM AND PLAY DEAD” in Gill Sans.

Also good advice if you encounter Eric Gill.
posted by beerperson at 10:03 AM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


Trump would fit in perfectly in Tammany Hall.

Trump's head wouldn't even fit in Tammany Hall.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:05 AM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


They didn't use Gill Sans for Penguin crime novels for no reason.

Eric Gill committed a lot of penguin crimes.
posted by maxsparber at 10:05 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


It's been interesting getting campaign emails from the Clinton campaign. Not a word about the copied speech, and they've been matching the tenor of Metafilter's threads about it

I've been noticing the same thing, and also they keep asking me for $38. Not $35, not $40, but exactly $38. Not knowing how they arrived at that figure is really vexing me something fierce.
posted by soren_lorensen at 10:06 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


corb...Are you back in the thick of things today? Or, are you safely ensconced in your hotel room? If you're in your room, we can send room service up.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:06 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


The emperor penguin has no clothes.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:06 AM on July 20, 2016


tuxedojoke.png
posted by beerperson at 10:07 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


corb, I pledge you a hot fudge sundae and a bottle of bourbon. Just say the word.
posted by mochapickle at 10:07 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


It's not like there is anything that can be done to stop the trainwreck it's mainly about ducking the flying debris and updating your resume to sanitize the parts related to Drumpf.


except maybe actively, vocally, supporting someone else. or, not showing up at the convention to be counted among the numbers of Drumpf supporters, or rallying together with like-minded folks and talking sense to one another, if no-one else. things like that maybe.
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:07 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




Trump is more like a mayor than a president

Of someone else's town, preferably. In a state far, far away.
posted by zarq at 10:08 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


MAKE AMERICA SWEARENGEN

Cleveland | has | you | [van] | covered.
 
posted by Herodios at 10:08 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I've been noticing the same thing, and also they keep asking me for $38. Not $35, not $40, but exactly $38. Not knowing how they arrived at that figure is really vexing me something fierce.

I ALMOST ASKED ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY AND NOW MY CURIOSITY IS FIRED UP AGAIN. They ask me for $8! Every time! I can't remember what demographic information they have about me, I don't think they have my age, and certainly not my income. My first donation that got me into their system was for $10 for a woman card, so maybe they just subtract a bit from that?
posted by sunset in snow country at 10:09 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Of someone else's town, preferably. In a state far, far away.

It's the political version of NIMBY: Not In My Municipality.
posted by maxsparber at 10:10 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hope it's okay to ask here, but I have to view these threads on my iPhone 6S (no computer) and after about 900 comments it's almost impossible. Is there a workaround for this? I'm using Chrome as my browser. Not sure why viewing text is that disruptive but maybe there's more to it than that.
posted by gucci mane at 10:10 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Guys, how do we rip this fascist nightmare out at the root and salt the earth? Seriously what do we have to do? An exorcism?

Where the fuck are the Ghostbusters
posted by schadenfrau at 10:10 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is there a workaround for this?

I could try to make less penguin jokes.
posted by maxsparber at 10:11 AM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


Will the Democrats do this: The Republican Platform’s Surprise Revival of Glass-Steagall Legislation or will they simply talk about money, corporations, banks, bubbles?
posted by Postroad at 10:11 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Not a word about the copied speech [from the HRC campaign]

I'm pretty certain because they realize that this isn't something that's going to get a lot of traction. Plagiarism matters enormously to some people, journalists, academics, teachers, but very little to most folks outside those fields. The spousal speech also isn't viewed as terrifically important anyway, not as a significant platform or policy speech.

There's always the danger too of coming off the bully by going after a candidate's spouse too hard.

It's not surprising to me that they aren't taking this to task directly. It has the potential to hurt the candidate, while at the same time lowering her discourse to deal with a relatively minor embarrassment from Trump (one of many, but still pretty small). However, this is exactly what her proxies are for, and they're going after this hard. Keep beating the drum of the Trump campaign incompetence, but don't weaken your big gun by doing it directly.
posted by bonehead at 10:11 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Well, I wish I could be confidant that Clinton won't fuck this up. And the polls sure aren't encouraging.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 10:12 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]




A few threads at Reddit with well over 5000 upvotes and well over 5000 responses each address the Melania plagiarization of Michelle Obama, but none make the front page. Why is this?

(Apologies if asking this on MF is wrong.)


Because we like to keep election-related stuff in the already open and active election thread. By "we" I mean the community and the mods.
posted by cooker girl at 10:12 AM on July 20, 2016


My first donation that got me into their system was for $10 for a woman card, so maybe they just subtract a bit from that?

Hmmm... my first donation was $50. So maybe they lop off 80% then... round to the nearest 8? Or something? I find it interesting that their solicitations encourage you to donate less than you have donated previously.
posted by soren_lorensen at 10:13 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I really don't understand how that NY Times article about Trump wanting his VP to be the actual president hasn't exploded. He's planning to be a figurehead? WHAT?
posted by selfnoise at 10:13 AM on July 20, 2016 [36 favorites]


Because his wanting to just be a figurehead really isn't that surprising?
posted by mochapickle at 10:14 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


> Who knew I had the perfect resume to be a competent Republican

Maybe, but they're not hiring.


They're hiring, but (A) they rely too much on nepotism, and (2) competence would make them look bad, so it's several strikes against.
posted by fedward at 10:14 AM on July 20, 2016




gucci mane, performance problems with large threads were recently discussed here. The best advice was to change your preference to the "classic" look. Little else helps.
posted by Tehhund at 10:14 AM on July 20, 2016


I agree with the comparisons with Tony Soprano. Once upon a time, I knew and had some dealings with a member of one of East London's less salubrious families - you wouldn't really call them gangsters but they were part of the criminal landscape. He mixed property crime, hash dealing and DJ'ing - I don't think he was violent, but I also don't think he'd have many problems with that - much of his family and friends were on call if things got tasty, and he did once tell me how much it would cost me to get someone bumped off.

He often told me that he'd be happy to throw away the politicians and have the country run by gangsters; he actually saw the political, legal and police system as a poor way to organise things. I would call him an actual, no ambiguities about it, fascist, who put strong leadership above everything else and was very comfortable with the consequences - which wouldn't be that different from the way he ran his life anyway. In all the time I knew him, he never said anything racist; he saw everyone in terms of opportunity or threat, and was perfectly friendly with those who were neither.

We assume that people are on board with the basic premise of democracy and the rule of law, even if they opportunistically move outside them, but people are in fact perfectly happy to eschew them. There is no 'surely this...' moment for them; the more they walk down that road, the less they care.
posted by Devonian at 10:16 AM on July 20, 2016 [47 favorites]


Guys, how do we rip this fascist nightmare out at the root and salt the earth? Seriously what do we have to do? An exorcism?

How is democrassy formed?
 
posted by Herodios at 10:17 AM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


On quora there is a thread claiming that specific seeming amounts in fund raising have a better rate of return.
posted by OmieWise at 10:17 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


also they keep asking me for $38. Not $35, not $40, but exactly $38. Not knowing how they arrived at that figure is really vexing me something fierce.

This is a common technique for buskers / beggars / fundraisers. People are more likely to give to causes where there's something specific and concrete that their donation will achieve (cf talking about one specific person in need is more effective than saying that there are thousands of others in the same position). Asking for a weirdly specific amount is a way of giving the impression that there's a specific goal in mind, and that they're asking for exactly what's needed to achieve that. I've seen data supporting the idea that it can be much more effective than asking for a round number amount, which people read as meaning that they're just after as much cash as they can get, with no specific goal in mind for it. It helps to personalise the issue.
posted by metaBugs at 10:19 AM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Not knowing how they arrived at that figure is really vexing me something fierce.

That's the psychology of it: non-rounded numbers make you think more. It may have started from the other side, spearheaded by Daily Kos and similar online activist communities sending specific amounts as a kind of tag to say "this is from a grassroots supporter, not your usual campaign contributor."
posted by holgate at 10:20 AM on July 20, 2016


I think lothar meant why are certain things not getting onto Reddit's front page, not ours. Not that I know.
posted by Sequence at 10:20 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


They ask for literally $1 from me, every time. And regretfully, whatever demographic information they have on me is pretty accurate. I'm able to give even that less than I would like, lately. Uncanny that they've targeted it so well, though! Especially since I got on their list by making a ~$40 purchase of some gift items, which is higher than I can regularly afford.
posted by gilrain at 10:20 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


And, frankly, it is just a borrowed tactic from the Sanders campaign, which asked you for $27, which was supposedly the average donation they were getting.
posted by briank at 10:21 AM on July 20, 2016






I really don't understand how that NY Times article about Trump wanting his VP to be the actual president hasn't exploded. He's planning to be a figurehead?

See...This gets to something I've noticed about Trump and some of the things he's said throughout the campaign. In almost every instance, when someone pipes-up about some issue or another, Trump's response has been variants of "We'll take a look at it" or "I'll put the best people on it" etc. This indicates to me, that he's basically going to take a "Lazy CEO" approach to governing. Have his lieutenants and minions do the leg-work and decide what policy is best (however you decide "best") and then Trump steps in and promotes it.

You folks really do not want Mike Pence acting as the man behind the throne. Nopenopenopenope.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [64 favorites]


I think when Trump Jr went to Kasich with that tasty morsel of being the actual working president it was meant to get Kasich on board. If he had risen to the bait Trump would have picked Gingrich. He's not going to forgive the slight of Kasich and Cruz attempting to join against him. It would have been BURN!!!

Look how he did Christie and Christie didn't attempt to thwart him, only toadied.

If anyone is to handle day to day government while he's busy making America great again it would be one of his kids, he doesn't trust anyone else. After all you just run it all like a business, right?
posted by readery at 10:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Because his wanting to just be a figurehead really isn't that surprising?
The President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it.
--The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Also applicable:
The major problem--one of the major problems, for there are several--one of the many major problems with governing people is that of who you get to do it; or, rather, of who manages to get people to let them do it to them. To summarise: it is a well-known and much lamented fact that those people who most want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it. To summarise the summary: anyone who is capable of getting themselves made president should on no account be allowed to do the job. To summarise the summary of the summary: people are a problem.
posted by zombieflanders at 10:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [41 favorites]


I find it interesting that their solicitations encourage you to donate less than you have donated previously.

They probably figure if you're already willing to donate $x, then $x - n isn't so much, is it? No, you can certainly afford to part with that sum.
posted by indubitable at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Yes, Trump is amoral. Whatever increases his power and gets him off in the moment. He doesn't have enough focus to have an ideology.

People sense in him that he's a big fat lit firecracker and they're getting off on the idea of tossing him into Washington to see what happens.
posted by argybarg at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


and a contribution from a New Hampshire state rep and advisor to Trump: Clinton “Should Be Put In The Firing Line And Shot For Treason”
posted by lullaby at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


And, frankly, it is just a borrowed tactic from the Sanders campaign, which asked you for $27, which was supposedly the average donation they were getting.

You better tell the previous Obama campaigns about that. That Quora thread I linked is a question about Obama's use of this in 2012.
posted by OmieWise at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Trump is Tony Soprano. Everyone who loved The Sopranos hated Tony Soprano but got a thrill from watching him in action.

At least Tony Soprano was self-aware.
posted by My Dad at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


lothar : The reddit algorithm changed to deal with r/the_donald. Now, no single sub dominates the front page. It's why there's now a lot more porn and a lot less politics.

It's kind of great, especially if you saw what a horrifying wasteland of nazi bullshit the frontpage of reddit was for a few months. There will still be the ocassional crazy ass thing on there, but it's mostly cute puppies and sex. As god intended.
posted by lattiboy at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Devonian - ...he did once tell me how much it would cost me to get someone bumped off.

Come on now, you can't just leave that hanging there. I've often wondered, and have seen confident assertions -- none from anyone who struck me as being particularly likely to have a good source -- that vary by orders of magnitude.
posted by metaBugs at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


In other news: Merrick Garland breaks record for longest nominee wait to join Supreme Court
The justice-in-waiting on Wednesday broke the record for the longest wait any Supreme Court nominee has endured for a Senate meeting, let alone confirmation. Garland, the chief judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals, has now spent 126 days waiting for his hearing to fill the ninth seat on the nation’s bench. No nominee has waited that long for 100 years — when Boston lawyer Louis Brandeis could not get a hearing after President Woodrow Wilson nominated him.
posted by homunculus at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


(HuffPo has a backgrounder on dumpster fires and the history of the phrase, so don't say you've never found useful information from them.)

I'm glad the Nats are having a good season, else I might be a little distressed to discover it was a bit about them that helped catapult the term to common usage.
posted by phearlez at 10:23 AM on July 20, 2016


Good news is Melania's speech got more publicity than any in the history of politics especially if you believe that all press is good press!

And particularly if you're comfortable being super wrong and a liar
posted by penduluum at 10:24 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


OmnieWise: On quora there is a thread claiming that specific seeming amounts in fund raising have a better rate of return.

You won't believe this one weird trick for increasing your fundraising totals.

How long before people start immediately filing away oddly specific dollar amounts as "scummy fundraising tactic"?
posted by clawsoon at 10:25 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Any update on the norovirus outbreak?
posted by kafziel at 10:25 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Tony Soprano was introspective and self-aware only when he felt that it would increase his power. I'm sure Donald Trump studies himself too.
posted by argybarg at 10:26 AM on July 20, 2016


$21.37, same as in town
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:26 AM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


And, frankly, it is just a borrowed tactic from the Sanders campaign, which asked you for $27, which was supposedly the average donation they were getting.

Eh, I can remember beggars asking me for "63p for the bus home" and similar at least two decades ago (...the number starts to rocket after your wallet comes out, of course). I couldn't guess where it started in politics, but it's far from a new idea.
posted by metaBugs at 10:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trump is Tony Soprano.

Somebody tell G.E. Smith to play "Don't Stop Believing" when he comes out for his victory speech. Then the picture from the convention can safely go black.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Any update on the norovirus outbreak?

The norovirus was selected as the Republican nominee.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [75 favorites]


Wasn't so long ago all this was a parody.
posted by Smedleyman at 10:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Where the fuck are the Ghostbusters

GOZER/VIGO 2016
posted by Servo5678 at 10:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


And also, if Trump really does put Pence or anyone else in charge of policy he'll get bored with him five months later and have him replaced.
posted by argybarg at 10:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hey, look on the brightside, at least the world dodged a bullet when a Cruz presidency was averted.*


* of course, we dodged the bullet by getting on a bus that was on fire, and contained a dozen nukes with hair-triggers speeding towards an orphanage surrounded by a moat made of gasoline, and the bus has no steering wheel or brakes and is filled with insane clowns with guns. But still!
posted by blue_beetle at 10:30 AM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


Any update on the norovirus outbreak?

Public health officials are having a difficult time distinguishing norovirus sufferers from those who are simply sick to their stomach over what is happening here.
posted by zachlipton at 10:30 AM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


Trump planning to turn over all "foreign and domestic policy" to Pence should put women's issues front and center, see as how Pence is a total abortion zealot.
posted by T.D. Strange at 10:32 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


GOZER/VIGO 2016

If the candidate asks you if you're a god, YOU SAY YES!
posted by zarq at 10:34 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Any update on the norovirus outbreak?

I did read that one of the hotels, a suspected culprit, has kept in line with science-denying by installing alcohol-based hand sanitizer dispensers throughout the building. The hotel also has an indoor water park, which is a notorious breeding ground for all manner of germs. They've really thought it through.
posted by witchen at 10:36 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


a member of one of East London's less salubrious families - you wouldn't really call them gangsters but they were part of the criminal landscape. He mixed property crime, hash dealing and DJ'ing

Here he is, doing a bit of Karaoke.
 
posted by Herodios at 10:36 AM on July 20, 2016


That HuffPo thing even mentions "cluster fuck" without going into how "dumpster fire" has the same rhythm and some of the same phonemes but is something you can say around your mom (or on the radio). I think that has more than a little bit to do with it.
posted by fedward at 10:37 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




Also possibly related to "dumpster fire":

The Linguistic Appeal Of 'Garbage Person,' The Internet's Favorite Insult
posted by Foosnark at 10:46 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Mike Pence Argued For Criminalization Of Adultery Before Joining Trump Ticket

Which, if history teaches us anything, means that Pence has committed adultery.
posted by papercake at 10:47 AM on July 20, 2016 [68 favorites]


They should just close the convention by renaming themselves the Reactionary Party because that's a more accurate description based on their platform.
posted by effluvia at 10:48 AM on July 20, 2016


I'll be honest, the more I watch this, the angrier I get at people who insist on voting third party.
posted by schadenfrau at 10:51 AM on July 20, 2016 [57 favorites]


speaking of donations, if i want to make the maximum allowable donation to the Clinton campaign, should i wait until after the convention? i know that primary and general election funds are separate or something, but if i give now will that cash not be available for the general?
posted by murphy slaw at 10:51 AM on July 20, 2016


MetaFilter: there's now a lot more porn and a lot less politics.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:52 AM on July 20, 2016


The Cthulhu Party Convention wasn't this much of a shit show, and there was literally a shit show at their convention.
posted by drezdn at 10:54 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


It Keeps Escalating

"As we've discussed, it's not normal for one nominee and his convention delegates to be chanting for the opposing party nominee to be put in prison. I felt a bit silly writing that because that is extremely obvious. But it's not some silly novelty. You go from opposition, to demands for imprisonment and finally for murder. We saw that case with the state rep down in West Virginia. Now we have a Trump delegate and advisor saying Clinton should be "shot for treason." This kind of incitement is poisonous to the political process and civic life generally. And let's be honest, it can have horrific consequences. This has the feeling of the crazy talk that was circulating about President Kennedy before November 1963."
posted by schadenfrau at 10:55 AM on July 20, 2016 [45 favorites]


metaBugs - in the late 1980s, it was £5000. I imagine it varies by target - the individual we were discussing was a local psychopath who was threatening an ex-girlfriend of his (and a member of my family) with (at the least) violence, and the actual conversation was along the lines it would normally cost £5000, but in this case if the ex-girlfriend in question would say the word it would be gratis. It wasn't my friend who would do the job, but I had absolutely no doubt it would be done.

It was a clinical matter of someone who'd overstepped the mark and was seen as dangerous, but who (in my friend's undoubtedly correct opinion) could not be stopped by the authorities. Better he died than she did. This is how fascist justice works, after all, untrammelled by process, and it's what happens when the real thing is seen to fail.

Failing systems have many consequences. If you feel failed by modern democracy and justice, other options are available, and people near you are living by them now.

(She was grateful for the offer, but declined it.)
posted by Devonian at 10:59 AM on July 20, 2016 [21 favorites]


This has the feeling of the crazy talk that was circulating about President Kennedy before November 1963.

I have to think that the Secret Service is sweating oceans over keeping Clinton safe. I hope I'm wrong, but I won't be surprised if some Trump supporter takes a shot at her between now and the election. It almost seems inevitable, given the blood-lust these goons have for her.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:59 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


To recap:

- Melania wrote her own speech all by herself
- There's just some similarities okay, some of the words are in the same order
- Look, Michelle Obama doesn't own the English language
- My Little Pony!
- It's only seven percent of the speech why are you so upset
- Hillary is making everybody do this because she hates women
- Melania didn't even write the speech, her speechwriter did
- Oh wait the speechwriter says he didn't write the plagiarized passages for Melania
- Okay here's a second speechwriter who's saying it's all her fault and she ruined Melania's beautiful prose

This campaign is a dumpster fire.


It's more like a postmodernist, situationist interpretation of a campaign. They're not playing by your rational, normal rules. They're deterritorializing politics, reworking the assemblage politique into a proper campaign-without-organs.
posted by dis_integration at 11:00 AM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


Would President-elect Trump still fly home from the White House every night to sleep in New York?
posted by nicebookrack at 11:06 AM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


It's more like a postmodernist, situationist interpretation of a campaign. They're not playing by your rational, normal rules. They're deterritorializing politics, reworking the assemblage politique into a proper campaign-without-organs.

i can't decide if the dadaists would be amused or angry that trump has applied their methods to politics without ever having heard of them
posted by murphy slaw at 11:06 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]







. . . or is it all just a bunch of hooey?
posted by Herodios at 11:06 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Today's email from Hillary's campaign:
When I emailed you yesterday, I thought the behavior at the RNC couldn't get a whole lot worse. Tuesday night proved me wrong.

Chris Christie, the governor of New Jersey (and a possible attorney general if Trump wins), stood on stage and accused Hillary of being a criminal, bellowing “GUILTY" over and over again as the crowd egged him on.

He had the entire arena chanting "lock her up" -- a cry that has become the mantra of the RNC.

If you closed your eyes, you could imagine it being a lot like a witch trial -- they were barely one step removed from screaming "burn her at the stake."

It felt like a dark turning point in American politics -- a sign that our nation is on the brink of something dangerous that we might not recover from.

We have to win. We have to show that this isn't the new normal. This isn't how democracy can or should work. ​In other countries, politicians might try to jail their opponents -- but not in America.
posted by mochapickle at 11:07 AM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


this thread title has gotten Return of the Mack stuck in my head, thanks for that

except it's return of the rnc, pronounced RONK
posted by poffin boffin at 11:07 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Plagiarizing Michelle Obama is literally the one and only thing the Trump campaign has done so far that doesn't make me contemplate suicide.

There was that one time in one of the eleventy-million debates that he made some noises about not wanting people to die in the street because they can't afford treatment. That seemed nice.
posted by tivalasvegas at 11:08 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


I will probably go back to the Q later, but I am fortifying myself with Cleveland's awesome street music and food trucks. I can't go into a Republican shindig right now. I'm still too angry. Sorry guys, I know I was going to report on those things too, but I just can't understand how anyone can be sitting down for this.
posted by corb at 11:08 AM on July 20, 2016 [84 favorites]


Would President-elect Trump still fly home from the White House every night to sleep in New York?

I'm picturing him having Trump Tower deconstructed and transported to Washington, DC, where it would be rebuilt with the White House sitting on top.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:10 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


There was that one time in one of the eleventy-million debates that he made some noises about not wanting people to die in the street because they can't afford treatment. That seemed nice.

Until you understand that the reason he doesn't want them to die in the streets is because it makes much better business sense to criminalize them and sell them to the for-profit prison industrial complex.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:11 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


this thread title has gotten Return of the Mack stuck in my head, thanks for that

(oh my god)
posted by murphy slaw at 11:11 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


i can't decide if the dadaists would be amused or angry

2014 really needs to make up its mind about when it grows up, is it going to be 1968 or 1914?

or 1933 i guess
posted by tivalasvegas at 11:11 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


If Trump really wants the Veep to handle domestic and foreign policy, doesn't that turn the presidency into a head-of-state pseudo-monarchy?
posted by ZeusHumms at 11:12 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Any update on the norovirus outbreak?

MAKE AMERICA EVACUATE AGAIN
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:12 AM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


Sorry guys, I know I was going to report on those things too, but I just can't understand how anyone can be sitting down for this.

The part where you could have conceivably made a difference in the outcome appears to be over anyway and media are flooding us with the rest of it so, like, relax and have a sandwich.
posted by murphy slaw at 11:13 AM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


If Trump really wants the Veep to handle domestic and foreign policy, doesn't that turn the presidency into a head-of-state pseudo-monarchy?

I think that's the point, yes.
posted by soren_lorensen at 11:14 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


We have to win. We have to show that this isn't the new normal. This isn't how democracy can or should work. ​In other countries, politicians might try to jail their opponents -- but not in America.

I think that regardless of whether Hillary wins or no, the toxic behavior of his supporters is the new normal. At the very least the new normal for mainstream republicans.
posted by codacorolla at 11:14 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


if Trump really does put Pence or anyone else in charge of policy he'll get bored with him five months later and have him replaced.

"Anyone else," maybe, but the VP is elected and can't just be fired by the President. Like the President, the VP can be removed only by death, resignation, or impeachment by the House and conviction by the the Senate.

Actually, I think maybe Pence is counting on this.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:16 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


are "mainstream republicans" even a real thing anymore
posted by murphy slaw at 11:16 AM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


I guess you could rephrase that instead as "people who vote for the R candidate and who there are the most of."
posted by codacorolla at 11:17 AM on July 20, 2016


@realDonaldTrump: Good news is Melania's speech got more publicity than any in the history of politics especially if you believe that all press is good press!

If "all press is good press" then the RNC has been great for Hillary Clinton so far. Hope those speakers keep talking about Hillary!
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:18 AM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


If Trump's delegated his own hypothetical presidential responsibilities to the VP, he might not be able to fire the VP, but I presume he could probably hire some other "advisor" who could make all those decisions. Jafar might be an improvement over Pence...
posted by Sequence at 11:18 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Anyone else," maybe, but the VP is elected and can't just be fired by the President. Like the President, the VP can be removed only by death, resignation, or impeachment by the House and conviction by the the Senate.


Sure, but it's de facto power we're talking about here. He'll send Pence off to clean the stables and give the policy keys to Paul Manafort. Or whatever craven moron is nearby. Or no one.
posted by argybarg at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2016


Yeah, but any arrangement by which the VP has power over domestic and/or foreign policy would be completely informal and subject to Trump reasserting or re-delegating that responsibility at any time. Even if Pence was a perfectly competent executive (this would not happen) Trump would be able to swoop in whenever the urge struck him and veto a law, issue an executive order, scuttle a treaty, launch a nuclear war, whatever.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


You've done yeoman's work reporting back to us, corb. (Yeowoman's work? Were yeowomen a thing?) Take a load off, listen to music, get some sun, stay safe, and find a little joy outside the shitstorm where you can.
posted by Stacey at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


god if trump wins the next administration will have to spend their entire first term stripping gold leaf off of the white house won't they
posted by murphy slaw at 11:19 AM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


If Trump wins, every administration will be Trump administration. You think he's not willing his seat as CEO of AmeriCORP to his kids?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


god if trump wins the next administration will have to spend their entire first term stripping gold leaf off of the white house won't they

lol what "next" administration?
posted by a fiendish thingy at 11:22 AM on July 20, 2016 [49 favorites]


yeah i was trying to ignore that part for the sake of the joke but
posted by murphy slaw at 11:23 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]




So can we start worrying about a Trump presidency now instead of making jokes and treating him like he's the Ross Perot of the new millennium?
posted by Gev at 11:25 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Somebody tell G.E. Smith to play "Don't Stop Believing" when he comes out for his victory speech.

"I'm The Man" by Joe Jackson.
posted by bongo_x at 11:26 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Silly question: Meredith McIver is taking the fall on Melania's speech. I saw a mention on reddit that she is paid through the Trump Organization, not the campaign. Is there some sort of breach of FEC rules, given the Trump Organization is a non-FEC reported business?
posted by Mister Fabulous at 11:26 AM on July 20, 2016


That's why the "I don't mind if Trump wins because everything will burn down" argument is delusional. If Trump wins, this will likely be America's last election because he'll build stone walls around everything, especially himself.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trump and Pence are both scheduled to speak tonight. Trump can't even let Pence headline one day of the convention and he's going to delegate all real authority to him?
posted by T.D. Strange at 11:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I've read and heard plenty of arguments from Trump supporters that sure, he's an asshole (one my my acquaintances said "loudmouth", others just say "asshole") and a racist (whoop de doo) and has no political experience, but as a businessman he'll hire the best team and they'll make the right things happen.

In other words, they admire his (imaginary) executive acumen. Which is why, sadly, a convention full of barbaric racism and shows of power is no big deal. But a convention that's a shambles may be.

If I were running Clinton's campaign I'd say: spend no more time convincing people what an awful person Donald Trump is. They already know, and the ones who don't care never will. But they might care if they can picture what reasonable people already know: That his administration is going to be an embarrassment, a disaster, a vile clown show.

And then make a good case for a Democratic agenda. Not a trivial point.
posted by argybarg at 11:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


So can we start worrying about a Trump presidency now instead of making jokes and treating him like he's the Ross Perot of the new millennium?

Ross Perot would be a few steps up from Trump.
posted by ZeusHumms at 11:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


They have arrived in said helicopter.

if only we could lure him into a tank
posted by murphy slaw at 11:27 AM on July 20, 2016


Apparently the Clinton campaign is vetting Charlie Crist as a potential VP, because Hillary wants this white-knuckle ride of an election to be even more terrifying I guess
posted by mightygodking at 11:27 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


are "mainstream republicans" even a real thing anymore

Yes. Trump is now the mainstream of the Republican party.
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Trump and Pence are holding a waterfront rally in Cleveland this afternoon.

WHICH water? There's a fairly large river and a quite large lake to choose from.

Neither is locally referred to as 'the waterfront'.
 
posted by Herodios at 11:28 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


A FB friend just chided me for believing that big business would ever allow Trump to be president. See, there'll be a military coup, and that'll somehow result in a parliamentary system and a progressive government. My FB friend understands the way things really work.

He also supports Stein and believes in homeopathy. It's like Trumpism of the left.
posted by Lyme Drop at 11:29 AM on July 20, 2016 [51 favorites]


...if it's the river, Trump's big finale will be setting fire to it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:29 AM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


bongo_x, thanks a bunch. Now I can't stop singing, "Skateboards, Trump nearly made them respectable..."
posted by Lyme Drop at 11:30 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


He also supports Stein and believes in homeopathy.

so the more we dilute the government the more effective it gets?
posted by murphy slaw at 11:30 AM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


...if it's the river, Trump's big finale will be setting fire to it.

Don't start this crap or I will BURY you with facts about river fires real and imagined.
 
posted by Herodios at 11:31 AM on July 20, 2016 [21 favorites]


The Ridiculous Endgame of the Trump Nomination SL Cracked

Show of hands: Which of you dreamed of running for president some day back when you were in elementary school? How many of you imagined that the nomination process would look exactly the way it would if it had in fact been conducted by a stadium full of elementary school kids?
posted by supercrayon at 11:31 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Corb, if my grandfather were here, I'd tell him about you and what you did and he would be proud of you, tattoo and all. If only I were free to, I would go into a big fun schadenfreude fugue state because it's not my party so who cares, whee! Yeah, right, except that I can't because I watched him age and I witnessed the point at which his party turned from what it had been and became impossibly stupid and venal, which point just happened to occur around the time when was so old that it was no longer possible for him to discern what was happening. (He'd've been asleep long before the speechifying and probably relied on The Economist and The McLaughlin Group recap.) So he kept supporting the party. I know he would not have done had he been just a few years younger. This infuriates me, on his behalf and on behalf of all the people like him who are getting on in years and still supporting the party because they're not able to watch as closely because they're not up on the technologies and the lingo and all of it because how could they be, they're 109. It's not my party, but the wholesale trashing of it still gives me the redeyed murderdreams. Thank you thank you thank you for trying.
posted by Don Pepino at 11:31 AM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Don't start this crap or I will BURY you with facts about river fires real and imagined.

Sounds like a FPP...
posted by Lyme Drop at 11:31 AM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Charlie Crist?????

In what fresh hell was that idiotic idea spawned?
posted by winna at 11:32 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Silly question: Meredith McIver is taking the fall on Melania's speech. I saw a mention on reddit that she is paid through the Trump Organization, not the campaign. Is there some sort of breach of FEC rules, given the Trump Organization is a non-FEC reported business?

The Post just put out an article asking that very question:
If Trump used corporate resources to write a political speech, that could be illegal.
posted by zempf at 11:33 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Don't start this crap or I will BURY you with facts about river fires real and imagined.

Sounds like a FPP...


I have most of the research done. I was going to do a Cleveland FPP each day of the con -- but I have a job.
 
posted by Herodios at 11:34 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


(oh my god)

look here's the most 90s possible remix

posted by poffin boffin at 11:36 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


If Trump is running as the ultimate branding opportunity, I wonder what would end up on coins during a Trump term.
posted by clawsoon at 11:36 AM on July 20, 2016


If Trump used corporate resources to write a political speech, that could be illegal.

I mean, they've already violated black-letter campaign finance law by soliciting donations from non-US-citizens overseas, including members of the British House of Commons. The strategy seems to be that after the campaign reaches a certain level of success prosecution is impossible because it would look like Democrats using the FEC to target their political opponents, no matter how blatant and public the crime.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:38 AM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


TheWhiteSkull: "Great- another day of getting the hoopleheads all riled up again."

You leave all the young dudes outta this!
posted by symbioid at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Back when the primaries started, my father-in-law, an old-school rock-ribbed Republican all his life, confided to me that the Republican candidates had him scared for all of our futures. He died back in April, and I can't imagine the terror he would have felt watching this freak show.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


really though it seems like Pence's best bet would be to just smile and wave and agree with everything the greasy orange schmuck says all while compiling his secret filed titled "IMPEACHMENT EVIDENCE" which he will sadly, reluctantly, tearily-eyed, feel that his MORALS and VIRTUES and PATRIOTISM have forced him to turn over to the feds approximately 6 months into 2017.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


is there any hard evidence out there that Meredith McIver is a real person?
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Huh. So, this was a thing that happened earlier today:

Starting RNC Day 3 right: breakfast with Nigel Farage.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Silly question: Meredith McIver is taking the fall on Melania's speech. I saw a mention on reddit that she is paid through the Trump Organization, not the campaign. Is there some sort of breach of FEC rules, given the Trump Organization is a non-FEC reported business?

One of Rob Ford's most charming tendencies was continuously violating municipal election bylaws and city council regulations. He'd get censured here and there, maybe had to pay a fine or two (I honestly don't remember) but since none of these regulations really had any teeth, he'd shrug it all off. He gained more from violating the rules than he lost through any enforcement measures.

And barreling right through all these rules had the double effect of endearing him to anti-red-tape small-government conservatives and keeping him a moving target for anyone who wanted to focus on one particular outrageous ethics violation at a time. Someone upthread mentioned the weaponization of outrage fatigue -- Ford had that down to a T, though it was quite possibly completely unintentional.

I don't know what FEC enforcement measures look like, but something tells me they wouldn't be able to overturn the results of an election.
posted by saturday_morning at 11:39 AM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


In lieu of additional extremely informative FPPs about Cleveland from Herodios, we can just lump somewhat unfair snark and derision upon that fair city with Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video and Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt.
posted by zachlipton at 11:40 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]



And then make a good case for a Democratic agenda. Not a trivial point.


the problem is that, after 8 years, the status quo is the Democratic agenda... and the status quo sucks.
posted by ennui.bz at 11:41 AM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Actually "ennui.bz" is a pretty good handle for the status quo.
posted by argybarg at 11:43 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I was born in Cleveland and my family moved to L.A.in 1961 when I was five-and-a-half. Then we went back to Cleveland to visit relatives every year until the Cuyahoga River Fire in '69. Then my parents invited relative out to us... until the San Fernando Earthquake of '71. It got hard to keep up with relatives after that.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:43 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


are "mainstream republicans" even a real thing anymore

Yeah, they're Democrats.
posted by Naberius at 11:44 AM on July 20, 2016 [30 favorites]


the problem is that, after 8 years, the status quo is the Democratic agenda... and the status quo sucks.

If the speakers at the DNC make a case for "eight more years of what the Obama administration accomplished" and not "eight years of what we would've done had the GOP not decided it was their God-given mission to vote against anything Democrats want, down to naming a post office," they should fire literally everybody.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:46 AM on July 20, 2016 [38 favorites]


Obama has definitely not kept the status quo...what the hell? I am baffled by that comment.
posted by agregoli at 11:46 AM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


I don't know what FEC enforcement measures look like

"FEC enforcement measure" is one of those Zen koans like "the sound of one hand clapping"
posted by ennui.bz at 11:47 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


the status quo is what small pieces of the Democratic agenda can get past the obstructionist Republican Congress... and THAT's what sucks, and that's why defeating Trump is not enough. A hard concept to wrap your head around if even some MeFites don't get it.
posted by oneswellfoop at 11:47 AM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


There's nothing hard about that concept, if that's the concept. But acting like the dems have kept the status quo, with all that's been accomplished these past 8 years, is wackadoo.
posted by agregoli at 11:49 AM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


look here's the most 90s possible remix

Lady was 2000 you phony!
posted by Talez at 11:50 AM on July 20, 2016


Seriously, GOP obstruction won't change with Clinton in office, the House at the very least will still be GOP, and on top of it I'm sure we'll have a rolling average of 2.3 investigation-gates at any given time.

What will they do? What can they do?
posted by Dashy at 11:50 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


In other countries, politicians might try to jail their opponents -- but not in America.

Once again, we see why Trump admires people like Putin. And why we can be confident that if elected, he will destroy everything this country is supposed to stand for

People who think a President Trump would sit back and let a competent group of executives run the country in a sensible way haven't been paying any attention at all. This whole convention and its rhetoric are Trump's creation. He makes no bones what he is about.
posted by bearwife at 11:50 AM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


It's also a half-hearted Democratic agenda, pre-neutered so as not to include what Republicans have declared they won't consider. I think this year's platform is a little gutsier but it needs to be articulated without fear and pre-censorship.
posted by argybarg at 11:51 AM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


If the speakers at the DNC make a case for "eight more years of what the Obama administration accomplished" and not "eight years of what we would've done had the GOP not decided it was their God-given mission to vote against anything Democrats want, down to naming a post office," they should fire literally everybody.

Obama has had every opportunity to run against a lunatic and obstructionist "red" congress, but he has always held onto his "not red or blue America" rhetoric. bottom line is that the Democrats own the current economy.

it's why next week's Democratic convention is going to be a lot more exciting.
posted by ennui.bz at 11:51 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


If there was anything I learned from that Obama presidency, it was that it was not enough for me to just show up every four years for a presidential candidate. I had to show up for all the other elections too. There will be no change if people don't understand they can't just show up for the presidential election only and hope everything will change.
posted by Kitteh at 11:53 AM on July 20, 2016 [54 favorites]


I think that's the point, yes.

Makes it easier to turn it into a hereditary position. (Which seems strange to say, given Bushes and Clintons, but it's pretty clear that the Bullshit Borgias of the Big Apple have their eyes on a cross-generational prize.)

Also, let's remember that per Matt Yglesias back in the day, Pence is a highly incurious person with no real command of detail or repercussions, in spite of being in a high-level GOP policy-making position. This has also been obvious during his time as Indiana governor. There's no way he'd be "in charge" of policy other than to rubberstamp things presented under the auspices of conservative pablum that don't interest his boss.
posted by holgate at 11:54 AM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Yeah, but any arrangement by which the VP has power over domestic and/or foreign policy would be completely informal and subject to Trump reasserting or re-delegating that responsibility at any time. Even if Pence was a perfectly competent executive (this would not happen) Trump would be able to swoop in whenever the urge struck him and veto a law, issue an executive order, scuttle a treaty, launch a nuclear war, whatever.

In the hypothetical Trump Presidency, I think Paul Ryan would end up the de facto Prime Minister, actually shaping the agenda and getting legislation and budgets through, etc. Which means stock up on cat food for when you retire (not that you will ever be able to afford retirement so problem solved I guess).

Trump would step in to just issue random horrible executive orders once a week or so. And yeah, maybe a nuke here and there just to shake things up
posted by tivalasvegas at 11:54 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


This Charlie Crist thing is making me sick. There's no way, is there? Please? After getting teased for weeks with Warren and Perez and Castro?

Surely Clinton realizes she has a lot more to gain from excited D voters than reluctant R peel-aways?
posted by saturday_morning at 11:54 AM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Seriously, GOP obstruction won't change with Clinton in office, the House at the very least will still be GOP, and on top of it I'm sure we'll have a rolling average of 2.3 investigation-gates at any given time.

What will they do? What can they do?


Continue to support administrative law changes and regulatory implementation consistent with protecting the public interest, supporting legal challenges to that disenfranchise people, and fight like hell to pass what they can. Not explicitly or tacitly supporting anti-voting, anti-choice agendas at the state level. Lots of shit that matters.
posted by dismas at 11:58 AM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Prediction markets for Dem VP have shifted strongly to Tim Kaine over the last few days.
posted by Perplexity at 11:59 AM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Can we get a source on that Charlie Crist claim? Every source I've seen says her short list includes people like Admiral James G. Stavridis, Senator Tim Kaine, and Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack, but never Crist.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




I've been noticing the same thing, and also they keep asking me for $38. Not $35, not $40, but exactly $38. Not knowing how they arrived at that figure is really vexing me something fierce.

I ALMOST ASKED ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY AND NOW MY CURIOSITY IS FIRED UP AGAIN. They ask me for $8! Every time! I can't remember what demographic information they have about me, I don't think they have my age, and certainly not my income. My first donation that got me into their system was for $10 for a woman card, so maybe they just subtract a bit from that?


The Clinton campaign keeps asking me for $75, as they have me correctly pegged as a DINK sucker who really, really doesn't want Trump to be President.
posted by peacheater at 12:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


What would happen if Donald Trump just refused to debate Hillary Clinton? We all know he'd perform poorly, and possibly have a major temper tantrum if she goaded him properly. It seems his supporters wouldn't care if he just backed out of them all, saying something like, "I'm not interested in debating a criminal lying Hillary."
posted by yesster at 12:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


except it's return of the rnc, pronounced RONK

Since it's Trump's RNC now, it's pronounced "tronc"
posted by Kabanos at 12:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


Yeah, I'm assuming it's just because she is likely to announce during her Florida trip? I can't find a source either.
posted by penduluum at 12:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Anyone know if there's a site that conveniently collects transcripts of all the RNC speeches? I can find most of them Googling one at a time, but I'm wondering if there's an easier way.

I posted above mostly in jest about the RNC being a good thing for Hillary under the "all publicity is good publicity" theory, but now I'm actually curious as to how often Clinton is mentioned vs. Trump across all the speeches.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:03 PM on July 20, 2016




YOU GUYS I just had like the best encounter ever. I ran into a mother and her daughter, and they were Democrats, and the mom had just gotten married to her 20-years partner so she was full of happiness, and they came because the daughter was a civics geek, so I gave her my program from inside the convention but only on the condition she volunteered for Clinton, and she ALREADY HAD and was so excited and full of happiness, and we hugged and took pictures with each other and I apologized for Trump and it was just nice and nobody was awful.

It totally made up for the soulless 19 year old delegate from Nevada who gleefully chuckled about how my delegation failed to stop Trump.
posted by corb at 12:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [247 favorites]


What would happen if Donald Trump just refused to debate Hillary Clinton?

Hillary hits back with something along the lines of "How can he stand up to ISIS when he won't even stand up to me?"

It might not hurt Trump among his core 40%, but it certainly doesn't help him among "undecideds."
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


What would happen if Donald Trump just refused to debate Hillary Clinton? We all know he'd perform poorly

He will perform poorly by our metrics. But not necessarily by the metrics of the suburban white women who might swing the election. What we see as oafish buffoonery they see as "strength". It's kind of pathetic, really.
posted by Justinian at 12:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Charlie Crist thing

If the Clinton campaign is worried about FL (and they do have a painfully narrow aggregate lead there) I guess? I think he's relatively popular still? But I don't usually follow Florida politics since my go-to state level dumpster fire is Illinois.

Because if the Clinton campaign can put Florida in the bag then the only remotely plausible path to 270 for Trump is to take either Wisconsin or Pennsylvania.
posted by tivalasvegas at 12:06 PM on July 20, 2016


The Clinton campaign keeps asking me for $75, as they have me correctly pegged as a DINK sucker who really, really doesn't want Trump to be President.

Hmm. Hmmmmm. I donated $100 before and they hit me up for $75. I wonder if they ask for ¾ your previous donation, rounded?
posted by fedward at 12:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]



A FB friend just chided me for believing that big business would ever allow Trump to be president. See, there'll be a military coup, and that'll somehow result in a parliamentary system and a progressive government. My FB friend understands the way things really work.


260 people got killed in Turkey in a coup attempt just this week.

Given Trump's cowardice, venality, and laziness, I can only pray it would be a palace coup, where the Pentagon tells him what's what and he spends the next 4 years obeying them.
posted by ocschwar at 12:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


In other news: Merrick Garland breaks record for longest nominee wait to join Supreme Court

C'MON BIG MONEY!

After Trump Loses, We Can Build a Sane Republican Party
Toward this end, last week I was privileged to participate in a small gathering of influential conservative and libertarian leaders who came together for three days to imagine a “more evolved” version of right-wing politics. The group included distinguished author Charles Murray, Republican gay rights activist Margaret Hoover, and anti-tax icon Grover Norquist. Also present were prominent libertarians, right-leaning political scientists, and numerous Republican media personalities. And while we did not reach a clear consensus on the “future of the right,” we did find remarkable agreement around the potential for a revitalized center-right coalition that could offer a viable alternative to unprincipled right-wing populism.
Y'all were the ones who fucked it up the last time!
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


The Crist thing I saw in a CBC News headline, but it didn't cite a source either, so, hm. Here's hoping it's just dumbness.

It seems his supporters wouldn't care if he just backed out of them all, saying something like, "I'm not interested in debating a criminal lying Hillary."

I'm 90% sure that is exactly what'll happen. But that does come at a cost to him: he doesn't like being belittled and humiliated, and as much as HRC could do that to him on a debate stage, getting to point out the cowardly shitbag he is all autumn is better than nothing. I see it as an intentional walk.
posted by saturday_morning at 12:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


So Now We Have Stone Cold Proof Donald Trump Doesn't Want to Be President

It's an interesting article, and may even be true, but an unsubstantiated claim from an unnamed Kasich adviser that paints Trump poorly and Kasich in a good light (for holding onto his principles and not accepting) is hardly "stone cold proof". I'm curious to see if the story develops any further.
posted by Roommate at 12:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


What would happen if Donald Trump just refused to debate Hillary Clinton? We all know he'd perform poorly, and possibly have a major temper tantrum if she goaded him properly.

He'll do at least one debate. And, he'll hog the time, constantly berate Clinton, mansplain the world to her, and probably toss in a couple of "stay in the kitchen" type remarks. He'll basically bully her.

Half of America will hoot and holler and eat it up and the other half will be sickened and appalled. Sadly, it won't be Trump's performance that the talking heads will be clucking about afterward, but, rather, Clinton's response/reaction, no matter what it is.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


So Now We Have Stone Cold Proof Donald Trump Doesn't Want to Be President

No, he does want to be President.

He wants to reign (all the time) and rule (when the mood strikes him or when he wants to punish someone). He just doesn't want to govern. Boring.
posted by tivalasvegas at 12:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


The strategy seems to be that after the campaign reaches a certain level of success prosecution is impossible because it would look like Democrats using the FEC to target their political opponents, no matter how blatant and public the crime.

The FEC commissioners are evenly split between the two parties with three reps each. The reason nothing significant is enforced is because there is a stalemate and 'an understanding' that on major issues there absolutely will be a stalemate so why even bother.
posted by srboisvert at 12:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


So Now We Have Stone Cold Proof Donald Trump Doesn't Want to Be President: Trump's camp offered Kasich the gig. Kasich turned it down.

Eh. I'm inclined to believe the story, but it's far from proof that Trump 'doesn't want' to be President. What actually happened?

An anonymous Kasich staffer made a claim. We don't know that the claim is true, and it has not been verified by Kasich himself or by anyone else (although I do hope someone fact-checked it before publishing it).

The specific claim is that someone other than Trump made an offer to Kasich. It's not a huge leap to believe that the individual (Trump's son) was in fact speaking for Trump in making the offer. But given Trump's, frankly. terrible record on following through on promises, making the leap from offering Kasich control of policy to giving Kasich control on policy is much harder. Was it a serious offer? Was it serious but one that he'd walk back in a second? We don't know.

I posted a link to the NYT's reporting on this in the other thread, because it is a completely bizarre offer to make regardless of whether or not Trump intended to follow through or why he made it, and it's worth thinking about why he would make it, and what sort of (terrible) President Trump would be. But I think it would be more accurate to say that Trump wants to be President without doing the hard work of being President -- he wants to sign off on policy, not to generate it. I suspect that had Kasich taken him up on the offer, Trump would be overruling him left, right, and center, his earlier promise nonwithstanding.
posted by cjelli at 12:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Crist is running for Florida's 13th Congressional District and is ahead in the polls, which would mean a flip from a normally-Republican seat. Since the only source I can find is CBC, I'm guessing/hoping this is just some weird game of telephone that started out with Clinton endorsing his run.

That said, it would be pretty fucking stupid to pick a bland white dude who is a three-time consecutive loser and who is also a wishy-washy recent convert to the party in a good year, let alone one like this one. To do so when he's actually winning, and when it would net a House seat in an election where that could come down to a razor's edge in deciding how a first term would go, would be completely fucking bonkers.
posted by zombieflanders at 12:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


It's gonna be Kaine, people. Kaine.
posted by Justinian at 12:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


He will perform poorly by our metrics. But not necessarily by the metrics of the suburban white women who might swing the election. What we see as oafish buffoonery they see as "strength". It's kind of pathetic, really.

The problem with this theory is that it's so easy to defeat. When Trump refuses to debate (and I think he will), all Hillary has to do is say

"Donald is a coward."

Four words. Over and over again. "Donald won't debate me, because Donald is a coward."

It destroys the "strength" narrative. You can't be strong and a coward, and Donald won't have a good reason to explain why he won't win the debate - because he will ALSO maintain that he would totally win any debate with Hillary, he just doesn't want to. He'll look like the coward that he is, and the media will love this storyline, they'll eat it up.

And when he caves and debates her, he looks like even MORE of a coward, because he didn't stick to his principles.
posted by mightygodking at 12:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


mightygodking: I meant his performance in the debate will be seen by some people as "strength", not a refusal to debate at all. I don't think even Trump is stupid enough to refuse to debate.
posted by Justinian at 12:16 PM on July 20, 2016


At this point I'm not sure if we can say what Trump is stupid enough to do or say.
posted by Fleebnork at 12:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


The group included distinguished author Charles Murray

aaand i stopped reading
posted by murphy slaw at 12:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


are "mainstream republicans" even a real thing anymore

Yeah, they're Democrats
The most (economic) conservative friend I have (that I always assumed would be a lifelong Republican) is fundraising for Hillary.
posted by el io at 12:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Crist seems unlikely. A pro-life, anti-immigration, pro death penalty, rated "A-" by the NRA former Republican. Doubtful.
posted by zarq at 12:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


like Murray's entire project has been to offer a pseudoscientific fig leaf for the fetid racism currently gripping the party, if he's in your coalition to fix it you already lost
posted by murphy slaw at 12:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Corb, I'm so glad you're having some (at least one?) positive experiences in the midst of this terribleness.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


How The Star Wars Prequels Predicted Our Current Era
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, paralyzing political divisions threatened democratic governments. Disputes over free trade, and the free movement of people and goods, were a big reason. Stymied by polarization and endless debates, the Senate proved unable to resolve those disputes.

As a result, nationalist sentiments intensified, leading to movements for separation from centralized institutions. People craved a strong leader who would introduce order — and simultaneously combat growing terrorist threats.
The Magic of Donald Trump
posted by the man of twists and turns at 12:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Clinton's VP pick should be someone so far out there that any attempt by the Repubs to do the usual character assassinations just look pathetic even to their own. A known drug user, Hollywood elite, etc. Woody Harrelson or Charlie Sheen. Can you see Charlie Sheen debating Pence?!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


The most (economic) conservative friend I have (that I always assumed would be a lifelong Republican) is fundraising for Hillary.

Not setting fire to the world is a higher priority than cutting taxes/regulations.
posted by acb at 12:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Clinton's VP pick should be someone so far out there

Billy West. "Why not Zoidberg?"
posted by SPrintF at 12:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


lothar: "A few threads at Reddit with well over 5000 upvotes and well over 5000 responses each address the Melania plagiarization of Michelle Obama, but none make the front page. Why is this?"

I've got an RSS subscription to the front page of /r/all and there were at least 3-4 different stories that made the cut. Including, hilariously, this Markov-chain generated headline from /r/SubredditSimulator based on top /r/all posts that duplicated a normal headline exactly.
posted by Rhaomi at 12:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Are the going to let the right Chris Cox speak today?
posted by PenDevil at 12:27 PM on July 20, 2016


How The Star Wars Prequels Predicted Our Current Era

Chris Christie = Jar Jar Binks?
posted by entropicamericana at 12:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Hmm. Hmmmmm. I donated $100 before and they hit me up for $75. I wonder if they ask for ¾ your previous donation, rounded?

Maybe! I donated $25 and now they keep asking for $19.
posted by aka burlap at 12:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]




He also supports Stein and believes in homeopathy.

so the more we dilute the government the more effective it gets?


Her incredibly low poll ratings mean she is sure to win.
posted by jaduncan at 12:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


I would think that The Trump Campaign owes Hillary Clinton an apology for Paul Manafort's blaming Hillary Clinton for a "non-existent plagiarism controversy", that turns out to be real plagiarism, and not Hillary Clinton's fault, but rather -- ultimately -- Paul Manafort's and the Campaign's own failures in due-diligence.
posted by mikelieman at 12:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


aaand i stopped reading

I read to the end for you.

This new, enlightened, socially moderate, libertarian-leaning, centrist Republican Party Of The Future that they came up with sounds an awful lot like this other US political party I've been hearing about...
posted by tivalasvegas at 12:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


fedward, aka burlap, that's how they get you. The lesser amounts trick people into being more willing to donate, but the coefficient > 0.5 makes it a divergent series.
posted by The Gaffer at 12:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I would think that The Trump Campaign owes Hillary Clinton an apology

The Trump Campaign does not understand the meaning of the word "apology." They believe it is something you demand of others but never, ever owe in return.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]




If Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg is woman enough to apologize, isn't Donald Trump?
posted by mikelieman at 12:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm so exhausted by all of the endless pieces trumpeting how awful the RNC/Trump are, nearly all of which imagine the author is due a mic drop for instigating the total collapse of this year's GOP ticket, which will surely come this time, immediately after this harsh light is shined on Trump's assholery.

His people know he's an asshole, you guys. They like it. They don't give a fuck.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


It totally made up for the soulless 19 year old delegate from Nevada who gleefully chuckled about how my delegation failed to stop Trump.

That's okay, corb, the Democrats, in coalition with moderate Republicans and that vanishing breed of independents, will do it for you, and then we can all share a gleeful (and relieved) chuckle.
posted by Gelatin at 12:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


It's gonna be Kaine, people. Kaine.

I don't know, we haven't seen him since we saw that panel of him emerging from his Other form's corpse after the Inheritors killed it.
posted by Sangermaine at 12:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


The lesser amounts trick people into being more willing to donate, but the coefficient > 0.5 makes it a divergent series.

Well I just donated $0.75 yesterday, so I guess I can afford another donation of $0.56.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Guys, how do we rip this fascist nightmare out at the root and salt the earth?

Simple. Make voters educated enough to not put dickheads in office. You need to experience firsthand how cognitively dissonant, fact-allergic, and not just stupid, but ignorant of their own stupidity the republican base voter is in order to fully grasp how damn near Sisyphean that task is. If you watched this year's convention even a little bit, you got a taste of this in four craptacularly glaring examples: Chris Christie's speech, which was chock full of false assertions, but the crowd chanted "Guilty!" and "Lock her up!" nonetheless in one of the scariest examples of zombie-group-think I've ever seen, Rudy Giuliani's speech - more of the same, Scott Baio, whose faux-piety was so awesome, it took your breath away, and it remained unscathed even when it was revealed that he uploaded the infamous "c*nt photo" to his twitter feed while attending church (his wife's anti-lesbian facebook screed is just charming), and Steve King (R-IA) who was blissfully ignorant of any historical contributions to the upsurge of civilization made by non-caucasians. His attempted clarification of that dumbass question was stating that whites were a "superior culture."

Most political conventions are kind of a joke. This year's RNC is a raging shit-show that not only displays, but celebrates how hateful, vapid, racist, and self-righteous segments of this country have become.
posted by prepmonkey at 12:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


U.S. appeals court finds that Texas voter ID law is discriminatory

Someone must have switched out the 5th Circuit's water with pure LSD. Anyway, more here from the Brennan Center for Justice.
posted by zombieflanders at 12:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Chris Christie = Jar Jar Binks?

Oh please. That's not a fair comparison. One of those is a ridiculous clown bereft of dignity who makes you cringe every time you see him, and the other is a CGI alien
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [56 favorites]


The Gaffer: I get the theory, but as a programmer I'm tickled by the idea somebody basically said, "I dunno, maybe try ¾?" and they wrote it into the email robot, rounding and all. I'm tempted to donate $72 to see if the next request is for $54.
posted by fedward at 12:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


After Trump Loses, We Can Build a Sane Republican Party

Why start now?

...we did find remarkable agreement around the potential for a revitalized center-right coalition that could offer a viable alternative to unprincipled right-wing populism.

A change-from-within strategy is fatally flawed. Between the tea party and the panel of extremists, morons and losers the R's had on their 2016 slate, the incessant Nazi-esque racism and fearmongering, and by settling for Donald Trump, the party has probably killed itself with any but the stupidest nutjob voters for the next couple of elections.

Alternative solution: let the remaining "sane" Republicans resign from their party, which doesn't give a damn about them anyway. Don't start a new party. Sign up with and take over the existing Libertarian party. Flood their membership with libertarian-minded Republicans. Use their infrastructure. Johnson took 1% of the vote (1.3 million votes) nationwide in 2012. A flood of old-school lib Republicans could easily bring those numbers up to 5 or even 10%. Then have the Libs challenge the existing Republican party for supremacy.

And for heaven's sake, get rid of Gary "Governor Veto" Johnson.
posted by zarq at 12:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


So Now We Have Stone Cold Proof Donald Trump Doesn't Want to Be President

It's an interesting article, and may even be true, but an unsubstantiated claim from an unnamed Kasich adviser that paints Trump poorly and Kasich in a good light (for holding onto his principles and not accepting) is hardly "stone cold proof". I'm curious to see if the story develops any further.


This isn't the first time we've heard about this idea-- that Trump prefers to hand over the day to day responsibilities.

Back in May during an interview with The Huffinton Post, Paul Manafort was quoted:
The vice presidential pick will also be part of the process of proving he’s ready for the White House, Manafort said.

“He needs an experienced person to do the part of the job he doesn’t want to do. He seems himself more as the chairman of the board, than even the CEO, let alone the COO.”
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Partisanship is killing us. Gallup reports for instance that most R's support the D position on immigrants.
posted by TreeRooster at 12:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


The earliest cuneiform tablets excavated in Westchester County explain clearly that the President is the Chief Executive Officer, not the "Chairman Of The Board" or .....what have you...that's directly saying that he'd be bad for the job...right?
posted by thelonius at 12:40 PM on July 20, 2016


The June FEC filings are due today, right?
posted by nicepersonality at 12:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I love that there's a subthread that is slowly reverse-engineering the Clinton donation algorithms. Oh metafilter, never change.
posted by tivalasvegas at 12:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [55 favorites]


Gallup reports for instance that most R's support the D position on immigrants

If memory serves me correctly, when Obama's actual policies are polled without be identified as Obama's -- including, notably, the components of Obamacare -- they're much more popular than if they are so identified.

Similarly, it's been sadly amusing that many a moderate conservative pundit -- David Brooks, say -- would often write "why oh why won't Obama propose my idea of a reasonably compromise?" and it turns out that that's exactly what Obama asked for.
posted by Gelatin at 12:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


In all seriousness, people like Trump aren't taken down by appeals to morality or what is right and good. They're taken down when they're made into a joke. When they're made ridiculous. Because Trump's appeal is how he makes his supporters *feel*, and right now he makes them feel validated and right to be angry. He stokes their fear and then turns it into anger, and they feel good that they're anger and fear is validated in a horrible positive feedback loop that ends in a fucking monstrosity.

You have to make them feel something else about him. Shame only works if it's shame about something they value. And for an apparently large amount of people, that means the shame of being ridiculous, not the shame of being evil.

I feel like we need a patriotic cadre of comedy writers.
posted by schadenfrau at 12:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


Hmm. Hmmmmm. I donated $100 before and they hit me up for $75. I wonder if they ask for ¾ your previous donation, rounded?

Her campaign asked me for $75 too. I have never donated to her campaign, and won't start now. I'm mostly holding out for Brand New Congress at this point.
posted by Foosnark at 12:47 PM on July 20, 2016


You would think so, thelonius. After all if the election is a job interview where the candidates tell us why they are most qualified, then if one of the candidates tell us that he doesn't want to do the job itself well that would seem to rule him out of the running.

Partisanship playing out the way it does there is little that Trump can do or say that will keep people Republicans voting for him. He will never release his tax returns. He will never release his medical records. He may or may not debate Hillary. He may never develop any real policies other than deporting 11 million people and building a wall. And yet he still has a chance at becoming our President.

The June FEC filings are due today, right?

Yessss!!! I've been waiting to see those. It will give a better picture of what is going on with his campaign.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I feel like we need a patriotic cadre of comedy writers.

but funny has a liberal bias
posted by murphy slaw at 12:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Sangermaine you are now my soulmate in obscure spider-clone fandom forever

(as formerly-misguided-villain turned reluctant antihero narratives go, this Kaine/Kaine comparison works better than I expected! but is Trump smart enough to be the Jackal?)
posted by nicebookrack at 12:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I've gotta say, I think Eyebrows McGee is taking this new baby thing kind of far. She hasn't been commenting at all in these threads. I mean, I've got kids too, but that doesn't keep me from the important things.
posted by OmieWise at 12:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


This year's RNC is a raging shit-show that not only displays, but celebrates how hateful, vapid, racist, and self-righteous segments of this country have become.

I've thought long and hard about this. Obama's 2004 speech at the DNC didn't mention Bush by name once. Neither did Two Americas.

It's really disconcerting how personal the RNC have made the election. I really can't wait for the DNC because I hope it'll highlight the contrast. I hope it doesn't turn into slinging shit and mud at Trump like the RNC has turned into against Hillary.
posted by Talez at 12:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]



I love that there's a subthread that is slowly reverse-engineering the Clinton donation algorithms. Oh metafilter, never change.


They've asked me for $82. I've donated a pretty decent amount actually (well under the limit though)
posted by zutalors! at 12:52 PM on July 20, 2016


schadenfrau is exactly right. Trump supporters, on finding out that he's an egotistical, misogynistic racist, range from not caring to actively liking that fact. For the broad middle of the population those aren't immediately disqualifying characteristics.

They want someone who can kick ass. If Trump can't, and in fact looks foolish for trying, he loses.
posted by argybarg at 12:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




“He needs an experienced person to do the part of the job he doesn’t want to do. He seems himself more as the chairman of the board, than even the CEO, let alone the COO.”

I just realized: What Trump actually wants is to be King. With all the pomp and accolades and adoration, and occasional [ab]use of power, and virtually no responsibility. And with a Prime Minister to handle the day-to-day business of actually running the country.

Which is exactly the form of government the nascent United States fought a war to rid itself of.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


Regarding the CBC tweet mentioning NBC as a source for the Crist rumor:
@aseitzwald: NBC is NOT reporting anything about Charlie Crist. We're not sure where this came from.
posted by zombieflanders at 12:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


(as formerly-misguided-villain turned reluctant antihero narratives go, this Kaine/Kaine comparison works better than I expected! but is Trump smart enough to be the Jackal?)

The Jackal was getting played the whole time by secretly-alive-because-reasons Norman Osborn, and at this point I'd totally buy Richard Nixon stepping out of the shadows to declare that he orchestrated this whole thing.

(Also, Jeb Bush = Judas Traveler. A much-hyped figure who seems to be a central player in the saga when he appears on the scene, but nobody cares and he's quickly tossed aside by the powers that be, with his great abilities revealed as illusion.)
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




to be fair, it's good to be the king
posted by murphy slaw at 12:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Twitter is bubbling up that Meredith McIvers may not be a real person. Her Twitter handle was recently made, and the picture for it was stolen off the page for a Florida Pilates instructor.

Edit: looks like bad info, sorry!
posted by codacorolla at 12:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Here, for an example of Trump's fundraising numbers is New Mexico:
It’s unlikely the Trump Victory joint fundraising committee raised the $230,000 some might have expected for the May 24 event attended by 23 people who had paid to be there. A spokesman for the New Mexico GOP gave NMID that attendance number last month.

Three New Mexicans donated $10,000 each while two others gave $1,000 each to the Trump Victory committee, according to a report filed Friday with the Federal Election Commission listing donations through June 30.

Another joint fundraising committee for presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump netted $13,450 from New Mexicans during the same period, records show. That committee wasn’t part of the May Albuquerque event.

That means the two committees raised less than $50,000 from New Mexicans.
That's pretty abysmal. It also means that most people opted out of the $10,000 photo opportunity. Guess they didn't want to have a reminder of their lunch with Trump
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 12:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Twitter is bubbling up that Meredith McIvers may not be a real person. Her Twitter handle was recently made, and the picture for it was stolen off the page for a Florida Pilates instructor.

Oh FFS. That is crazy pants. So now they have invented a person to take the blame for Melania's plagiarism? Priceless.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Although it's within the realm of believability, the McIvers stuff was just a somewhat elaborate prank, and she is a real person who has worked with Trump in the past. Sorry for passing along a rumor so quickly.
posted by codacorolla at 1:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Twitter is bubbling up that Meredith McIvers may not be a real person.

"Meredith" must've changed her profile picture but this is the fakest non-egg Twitter profile I've ever seen and it's hilaaaaarious .

Edit: sorry if I fell for it too quickly and she's real, but I enjoyed my brief fantasia about what a terrible Twitter profile this is.
posted by penduluum at 1:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


This had better not be a spoiler for the next season of Orphan Black!
posted by Atom Eyes at 1:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


If McIver was invented as a fake Trump ghostwriter it happened a long time ago -- her name appears as co-author on his 2009 book Think Like A Champion.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:03 PM on July 20, 2016


Twitter is bubbling up that Meredith McIvers may not be a real person.

She's mentioned in a 2007 interview with the Guardian. That said, it would be totally Trumpulent for the ghostwriter to have a ghostwriter.
posted by holgate at 1:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Every time Trump fucks up, the press should ask if Meredith did it
posted by schadenfrau at 1:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Don Pepino's comment reminded me of this vintage campaign ad via Hullabaloo.
posted by maggieb at 1:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Twitter is bubbling up that Meredith McIvers may not be a real person. Her Twitter handle was recently made, and the picture for it was stolen off the page for a Florida Pilates instructor.

Or is she a real person who is a Democrat, and therefore the Trumps can blame this on left-wing sabotage....
posted by slmorri at 1:05 PM on July 20, 2016


I just realized: What Trump actually wants is to be King. With all the pomp and accolades and adoration, and occasional [ab]use of power, and virtually no responsibility. And with a Prime Minister to handle the day-to-day business of actually running the country.

Which is exactly the form of government the nascent United States fought a war to rid itself of.


Yes.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


[As a general thing, maybe stop and double-check a little more when tempted to post an "I can't believe this crazy thing I saw on twitter" tidbit.]
posted by cortex (staff) at 1:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Cruz held a little rally today in Cleveland.
Ted Cruz convened hundreds of supporters Wednesday here on the Lake Erie waterfront with the goal of simply thanking them but could not avoiding being overshadowed by presidential politics — literally.

As the U.S. senator from Texas acknowledged the GOP "now has a nominee" — his former bitter rival, Donald Trump — the New York billionaire's plane could be seen gliding through the sky above Cruz. Long, loud boos broke out as supporters soaked in the sight.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]




@steakhousegirl: Does Meredith McIver (Melania speechwriter) exist? She has a FB page with no friends that was created today
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:11 PM on July 20, 2016


10 Samuel told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking him for a king. 11 He said, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. 12 Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. 13 He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. 14 He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. 15 He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. 16 Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle[c] and donkeys he will take for his own use. 17 He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. 18 When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

19 But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. 20 Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.”

21 When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the Lord. 22 The Lord answered, “Listen to them and give them a king.”

(1 Samuel 8:10-22, NIV, I think)
posted by Spathe Cadet at 1:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [30 favorites]


Julian Castro is currently having legal issues, so maybe that's why he's no longer being touted as a veep possibility. But when you've got identical twins, why not swap him for his brother?
posted by Apocryphon at 1:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think Trump imagines himself to be the Sun King, not realizing that he could end up like Louis XVI.
posted by wabbittwax at 1:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Guys I found a picture of Meredith McIver online

You sure it wasn't this?
posted by Talez at 1:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


She's mentioned in a 2007 interview with the Guardian.

So she's... a Trump employee? But also employed by the campaign? Or did Trump just staff his whole campaign with former employees? I'm just really confused as to who this person is and what their relationship to Trump is.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:13 PM on July 20, 2016


But when you've got identical twins, why not swap him for his brother?

Sure, we're already pretty committed to farce as our genre of choice this cycle, why not
posted by schadenfrau at 1:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


If Meridith McIver is fake, she's been fake for a long time. Use Google's Search Tools to restrict results to before the story broke; you'll still get plenty of results for her from 1/1/2010 to 1/1/2016. Pages written before this story broke claim that she ghost-wrote How To Get Rich, for example.
posted by Jpfed at 1:14 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump just tweeted an "urgent" call to hit a $2 Million fundraising goal tonight, which might be a clue as to how FEC filing day is looking for the campaign.
posted by dry white toast at 1:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




@shakestweetz: The John Barron saga carried on for a decade. It is possible Trump made up a Meredith McIver character years ago.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


I mean she's probably real, but Trump's Razor would indicate she's fake. And once you pose as your own fake spokesman on multiple occasions, it becomes very hard to trust that other members of your staff are actually real people.
posted by zachlipton at 1:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


And in case people don't click through, Cuomo calls him out on more than just the speech:
“When faced with something that you did wrong, you just deny it, no matter whether it is true or not,” Cuomo said. “Whether it is the man who has a developmental disability who works for The New York Times, and Donald Trump mocks him and says, ‘No, I didn't.’ Whether it is a star that represents the star of David, and you say, ‘No, it is a sheriff's star.’ There is a pattern, whether it is Baron, John Miller, really Donald Trump. There is a pattern of denying the obvious. What happens when you're running the government of the United States and you don't want to deal with what happens then? That's the concern.”
posted by peacheater at 1:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [35 favorites]


The best part of Trump bailing on the convention is all the news reporters getting the chance to say "not see Trump" on air.
Not see Trump.
Not see Trump.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 1:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [39 favorites]


ok but seriously, does she have a presence online or anywhere other than as a ghostwriter credit on Trumpist literature? Do we know the Meredith McIver who's a registered Democrat isn't just some unfortunate who shares the same name? On non-preview right, the John Barron thing immediately comes to mind
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


pretty committed to farce as our genre of choice

Is it a horrifying mashup of A Midsummer Night's Dream and Macbeth? Is that what this timeline is?
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


So more importantly - when the eventual slapstick comedy movie of this campaign comes out - who y'all picking for the cast? I'm thinking Alec Baldwin for Trump?
posted by inflatablekiwi at 1:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


That said, I am totally going to blame a made-up co-worker named Meredith McIver whenever anything goes wrong for the rest of working life. Well, first I'll insist nothing went wrong at all. When that's not working, I'll blame Hillary Clinton. When everyone stares at me like "what does that have to do with anything?," I'll say, "ok fine, I didn't want to throw her under the bus, but it's all Meredith McIver in Accounting's fault." And everyone will say ok and I can go back to screwing more things up.
posted by zachlipton at 1:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


Stephen.
posted by murphy slaw at 1:21 PM on July 20, 2016


you don't know her okay, she goes to a different school
posted by poffin boffin at 1:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [52 favorites]


So she's... a Trump employee? But also employed by the campaign?

Well, the campaign has been paying Trump properties for large chunks of its expenses -- we'll get to see more of that with the June FEC report due out today -- so maybe we'll find out that she's on a consulting contract at $1500 an hour?
posted by holgate at 1:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Johnny Depp has already played Trump pretty recently...
posted by wabbittwax at 1:21 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump: The Buck Stops HEY LOOK A MONKEY
posted by murphy slaw at 1:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


I hate to say their names in proximity and so tarnish the former with the latter, but I honestly feel like Christopher Walken could absolutely nail Donald Trump.
posted by cortex at 1:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Can Dr. Zaius play Trump?
posted by drezdn at 1:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


That said, I am totally going to blame a made-up co-worker named Meredith McIver

Our "test account credentials" here are for Beverly Klein.
posted by mikelieman at 1:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


It's not that Meredith McIvers doesn't exist. Its that she only exists as an alter ego who lives in Canada.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is it a horrifying mashup of A Midsummer Night's Dream and Macbeth? Is that what this timeline is?

In a different one, Sanders himself goes Bernie or Bust and then Coriolanus also happens.
posted by Apocryphon at 1:23 PM on July 20, 2016


When this is all over I don't think I'll have the stomach to watch it all again in the theater.
posted by monospace at 1:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


The relevant portion of the Guardian interview linked upthread:
'I'll get you a biography, too.'

Well, I mutter, I've read several of your autobiographies and ...
Advertisement

'This'll be a little easier for you. MEREDITH!'

Trump has what some of his employees refer to as an open-door policy; its main function seems to be that he can shout at them through it.

'Would you get me a biography please!'

Meredith McIver, one of the assistants who doubles as his ghost writer, scuttles in with a few sheets of paper, on which a company bio is printed in bold....
My application of the Trump Razor would indicate that "MEREDITH" is simply the generic label Trump uses for whatever female person is needed to do a task for him at a given moment.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


She lives in Canada, okay? I met her at summer camp.
posted by cooker girl at 1:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Too bad. When this is over, President Trump will be making it required viewing as part of his new Hunger Games initiative.
posted by Archelaus at 1:25 PM on July 20, 2016


I knew Tila Tequila was a big fan of Trump (and I wondered why she wasn't speaking at the RNC) but holy cow this picture!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


The task he needed done this time was someone to be a fall guy gal. "This looks like a job for... MEREDITH!!!"
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:26 PM on July 20, 2016


her real name is georgina glass
posted by poffin boffin at 1:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


How many more days of this convention again? Is it all week, or is today the last day?
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:27 PM on July 20, 2016


Ok, I'm on my fifth Jenever, let's do this!!
posted by Pendragon at 1:27 PM on July 20, 2016


I knew Tila Tequila was a big fan of Trump (and I wondered why she wasn't speaking at the RNC) but holy cow this picture!


Now I have a soft spot for Juggalos.
posted by ocschwar at 1:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trump: The Buck Stops HEY LOOK BENGHAZI/A MUSLIM/CROOKED HILLARY/AN ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT/FART NOISE
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Uh, did you miss the header image, ocschwar?
posted by stolyarova at 1:28 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump's Razor

Oh, wow, that's actually a thing. Awesome and horrifying in equal proportions.
posted by Grangousier at 1:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I knew Tila Tequila was a big fan of Trump (and I wondered why she wasn't speaking at the RNC) but holy cow this picture!

And then I read her Twitter feed and apparently she's been spending her time on another plane of existence or something and..
posted by zempf at 1:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I am becoming more and more convinced that I am actually in a deep coma and all of this is just my panicked brain struggling to keep me alive.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [58 favorites]


A story came up on my Twitter feed about whether Cruz might challenge a President Trump in the 2020 Republican primaries, and I immediately unfollowed the person who shared it. NOT TODAY, SATAN. One shitshow at a time.
posted by duffell at 1:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Awesome and horrifying

Yes Josh Marshall came up with it over the weekend. It's pretty handy.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:29 PM on July 20, 2016


I knew Tila Tequila was a big fan of Trump (and I wondered why she wasn't speaking at the RNC) but holy cow this picture!

Dishonest media is trying their absolute best to depict a swastika on Tila Tequila's arm rather than a tetraskelion or a plain hakenkreuz.
posted by qcubed at 1:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


There are 211 more days remaining in the Republican National Convention.

really it's just two
posted by Spathe Cadet at 1:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


That CNN Interview of Manafort by Cuomo has really improved my opinion of both CNN and Cuomo.
posted by yesster at 1:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Josh Marshall came up with it over the weekend

I believe Marshall credits Mefi's Own John Scalzi for coming up with it.
posted by OmieWise at 1:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


As much of a ridiculous clusterfuck as the GOP seems to be right now, I'm having a hard time seeing much humor in any of this. The level of hatred and vitriol being spewed out of the mouths of the speakers at the convention is really disturbing. The polls showing Hillary ahead don't mean much to me, especially when considering that if she does win the election she's going to have to face these monsters and will have an even more difficult time getting anything accomplished than usual. I am really worried that these awful people will end up in charge and will do awful things to dismantle the checks and balances we have set up in our government. I think we're all pretty frustrated to see how slowly real change seems to happen in this country when it comes to accomplishing anything good, but I am having visions of Trump and his new GOP lapdogs ending up with enough power to really, really screw things up for everyone who isn't on their side. Brexit and the events in Turkey are not giving me any sort of optimism that America is somehow immune to going down a really dark path in the near future.
posted by wondermouse at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [49 favorites]


Oh right. Anyway he amplified it.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2016


2016 is like when you prank call your gullible friend asking them to buy encyclopedias and instead of them calling your bluff you get their credit card, social security number, and a promise to deliver four pallets of the tomes in two weeks

you keep waiting for them to catch on that it's a goof but it never happens
posted by Tevin at 1:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Is anyone there obviously intoxicated yet? Anyone here?
posted by Theta States at 1:33 PM on July 20, 2016


MAKE FICTIONAL AMERICA GREAT AGAIN FOR FICTIONAL PEOPLE
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Josh Marshall came up with the idea of Trump's Razor. Scalzi came up with the name.
posted by chimaera at 1:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


I glanced over at last week's brand-new election thread, the one from before the RNC, and I found myself thinking, "Ah, happier times."
posted by rorgy at 1:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




> Is anyone there obviously intoxicated yet?

on what substance? because i'm pretty sure they've been hopped up on their own goofballs for about...twenty five years now
posted by Tevin at 1:34 PM on July 20, 2016


There are 211 more days remaining in the Republican National Convention.

We have always been in the middle of the Republican National Convention.
posted by murphy slaw at 1:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


For anyone looking for decent nightly coverage of the convention, Dan Rather has figured out how to use Facebook Live effectively, and he responds to questions! Genuine old-fashioned journalism.
posted by stolyarova at 1:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Josh Marshall came up with the idea of Trump's Razor. Scalzi came up with the name.

Huh, people here still care about correct attribution. How 2015.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


A sample from Mr. Rather:
There are so many universes spinning in northern Ohio, it's enough to make you as wobbly as Jello.

Here are just a few happenings I'm trying to wrap my head around:

•Headline in the Washington Post: "Gays for Trump host party to call for war against radical Islam"

•The governor of Ohio, John Kasich, is nowhere to be seen in Cleveland. Meanwhile, yesterday he's quoted as saying immigrants are the key to economic success and disses Donald Trump's immigration plans.

•So-called "fair trade" and "bad trade deals" have been the backbone of the Trump campaign. But after two nights of the convention -- including last nights "Let's Make America Work Again" theme -- the word "trade" has only been mentioned twice in more than a dozen hours of speeches and ceremonies.

• Melania Trump's speech continues to be dissected and discussed two days after she gave it. This story is changing quickly as a Trump staffer has come forward to accept responsibility for the pets of the speech that were copied. And the biggest story of the convention gets fresh legs

• New Jersey Governor Chris Christie comes down like a hammer "prosecuting" Hillary Clinton. While Clinton has been cleared, Christie remains under federal investigation for the so-called "Bridgegate" affair.
posted by stolyarova at 1:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [41 favorites]


but I am having visions of Trump and his new GOP lapdogs ending up with enough power to really, really screw things up for everyone who isn't on their side

The visions aren't real, though; they're just your brain trying to freak you out.

There are still 110.5 days remaining in which you could do something to ensure that the scary thing you're imagining doesn't come to pass. If you're afraid, do something: donate money, help register new voters, practice convincing undecided voters and/or non-insane Republicans to vote for Clinton, maybe take the time to do some self-care if you're really upset, etc. Doing virtually anything is preferable to sitting around being afraid.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 1:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Huh, people here still care about correct attribution.

From your lips to $deity's ears.
posted by chimaera at 1:39 PM on July 20, 2016


I'm not doing nothing! I'm engaged in a protracted and hard-fought campaign to reduce the amount of gin and vodka in the world.
posted by Justinian at 1:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [27 favorites]


He will perform poorly by our metrics. But not necessarily by the metrics of the suburban white women who might swing the election. What we see as oafish buffoonery they see as "strength". It's kind of pathetic, really.

Mmmm...you know what I like even better than oafish buffoonery? Being called pathetic. Any chance you can come over later to ridicule my minivan and my mom jeans? Because that gets me really hot and all my usual "special friends" are in Cleveland this week for some convention thing, I can't be bothered with the details.
posted by not that girl at 1:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [48 favorites]


Well if the hand off the presidenting to the VP thing is correct, it might explain why my Donald/Ivanka prediction did not come to pass.
posted by ckape at 1:41 PM on July 20, 2016


As much of a ridiculous clusterfuck as the GOP seems to be right now, I'm having a hard time seeing much humor in any of this. The level of hatred and vitriol being spewed out of the mouths of the speakers at the convention is really disturbing.

In addition to some of this stuff being reminiscent of calls to burning Clinton at the stake as mentioned in the campaign email above, the thirst for her blood in conjunction with Benghazi and everything else, and the attitude we've seen from some in the Republican base that everything would have gone just fine in Iraq and Afghanistan if it weren't for Obama and Clinton (Al Baldasaro, the NH state rep calling for her execution, who is doubling down, is quoted as saying "Hillary Clinton to me is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam"), is reminding me of the Dolchstoßlegende, the myth that Germany had lost WWI due to a conspiracy to undermine the nation (involving Jews among many others, of course) which the Nazis made a central theme of their propaganda.
posted by XMLicious at 1:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Alright guys. I had a blast spending my day wandering the streets, then drinking on the Republican dime, meanwhile giving interviews about what a tire fire Trump is to anyone who will listen.

Oh also guys - I forgot to break why the rules committee thing failed. Cuchinelli's a snake - he only wanted to change shit for closed primaries. He was offering no more Nevertrump in exchange for closed primaries to favor Cruz later - but rules committee delegates (my friends, our heroes) refused to take the deal.
posted by corb at 1:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [74 favorites]


I finally realized who Trump reminds me of.
posted by theora55 at 1:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Are you heading back into the arena?
posted by mochapickle at 1:51 PM on July 20, 2016


After Trump Loses, We Can Build a Sane Republican Party

No, the Republican Party stopped being a legitimate political party last night. What can the Republican Party be, ever again, but a party that nominated Donald Trump to be the President of the United States? Ever?

Conservatives might be able to regroup and build what their elites consider a sane party - though I don' t know why they'd bother. Without the dog whistling racism and stoking of cultural resentment, the Republican party doesn't have much to offer beyond "Hey, why not vote to enrich a small minority of the populace that you aren't part of?" But, okay, we'll stipulate for the sake of discussion that the less crazy elements of the Republican party might be able to build some kind of sane party, purged of the Trumpist wing.

But it will have to be a new party; it won't be the Republican Party because the Republican Party is dead forever. I'd be willing to bet that by 2024, nobody will bother televising the Republican convention, any more than they do the convention of the Natural Law party today. They'll have the thing in a Holiday Inn in Wichita or someplace like that, and they'll talk about the good old days of Reagan and George W. Bush, and nobody will care. There will be a lot of people selling homeopathic cancer cures and "male enhancement" supplements.
posted by Naberius at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


I don't know what FEC enforcement measures look like

Laughable and years too late to ever matter. The FEC is the perfect example of regulatory capture, but unlike other regulatory bodies the industry they regulate are the people who write the laws, control their funding, and appoint their leadership. Here's a quote from its chairwoman, "The likelihood of the laws being enforced [in the 2016 elections] is slim... I never want to give up, but I’m not under any illusions. People think the FEC is dysfunctional. It's worse than dysfunctional."
posted by peeedro at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Dan Rather: The governor of Ohio, John Kasich, is nowhere to be seen in Cleveland.

This is incorrect. He's in Cleveland. Has been all week.

He's not being seen at the Q.
 
posted by Herodios at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


less bloodthirsty than B.H. good chance he'll grow into it, though. who gets to play feyd?
posted by j_curiouser at 1:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


eric trump obvs
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm trying to take the humor where I can find it, but the violent talk about Hillary Clinton is really worrying me. If, God forbid, someone actually acts on the "she should be shot for treason" thing, then every single person involved in this shitshow of a convention will have blood on their hands. The way they're ramping this up is absolutely disgusting.

I'm sure no one here needs reminding of how so many of the violent nutcases in the news recently turned out to have domestic violence in their backgrounds. It's become so common it isn't even remarked on anymore. Violence against women is just background noise.

Fuck every single person involved in ramping up that rhetoric at the RNC, and shame on the media for not pushing back harder against it.
posted by Salieri at 1:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [65 favorites]


I'm a little biased but I think that the DNC is going to try to be that episode of Buffy where they all join up and become SuperBuffy and she can turn bullets into little tweeting birdies

So I can't see it being like this RNC business.
posted by angrycat at 1:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


I'm trying to wrap my head around the concept of a President being a mediagenic doof who'll preen for the cameras and leave the policymaking and day-to-day stuff to his Vice President and staff, who've been patiently waiting for such an opportunity to rewrite global politics, economics and warfare and confound the reality-based community.

Why does this all sound... so familiar...

(If Pence shoots someone in the face and then blames him for it, turn the channel, it's a re-run.)
posted by delfin at 1:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Uh, did you miss the header image, ocschwar?


Tila Tequila was pelted with human excrement at a Gathering of the Juggles a few years back.

So, well, no. I did not.
posted by ocschwar at 1:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


I feel like we need a patriotic cadre of comedy writers.

There already is an active army of comedians, from the 'fake news' shows to some of the late night talk shows (although the most stalwart political talker, Colbert, is losing in the ratings) to the old reliable MAD Magazine. You want Trump ridicule? Here's a free ebook of MAD's Greatest Trump Hits. The problem is that he has been a public joke for decades (here's R. Crumb from 1989) so I don't know what more ridicule could accomplish, except maybe a series of escalating "losing his sh!t" incidents.

If you're looking for something to discredit Trump with his supporters, keep showing them this picture.
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


"Hillary Clinton to me is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam"

What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.
posted by tivalasvegas at 1:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


then every single person involved in this shitshow of a convention will have blood on their hands.

Not corb! #notalldelegates
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [33 favorites]


who gets to play feyd?

Someone more talented than I at Photoshop is encouraged to put Chris Christie into Sting's signature codpiece as Feyd.

And then never show it to anyone on this planet or any other.
posted by delfin at 1:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


I'm a little biased but I think that the DNC is going to try to be that episode of Buffy where they all join up and become SuperBuffy and she can turn bullets into little tweeting birdies

this year i would just be super pleased if no one calls for someone to imprison or murder the other candidate and maybe affirms that people who look , worship, and love like my friends and neighbors have a right to exist
posted by murphy slaw at 1:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Not corb! #notalldelegates

Heh, poor corb has suffered enough. I was thinking of the people giving the speeches and the bloodthirsty masses cheering them on, with the senior Party officials sitting on their hands in the background.
posted by Salieri at 1:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Someone more talented than I at Photoshop is encouraged to put Chris Christie into Sting's signature codpiece as Feyd.

chris christie is clearly beast rabban, duh
posted by murphy slaw at 2:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


>> "Hillary Clinton to me is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam"
> What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.


Ok, so it's not just me? I could not parse that at all.
posted by RedOrGreen at 2:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Here are the downtown Cleveland live streams that I could find in case you want to know what's going on outside the convention. It's remarkably hard to figure out "who is live streaming from downtown Cleveland right now?"
1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXbuP19AWDM
2 http://livestream.com/unicornriot/events/5912231
3 http://www.ustream.tv/z

From a little observation, the police seem to be doing a great job of keeping order but not overdoing it. One guy has his fists up and looked ready to box and the police just calmly backed him up with the rest of the crowd.
posted by Tehhund at 2:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.

I think what he meant to say was that Clinton is to contemporary politics what Fonda was to the Vietnam War. The whole Hanoi Jane thing, i.e., she's a traitor.

This is a way of trying to get through to enlisted soldiers and draftees of my father's generation, and their families.
posted by middleclasstool at 2:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


it is trying to be an analogy I think... with as much success as my cat has in catching the laser pointer
posted by tivalasvegas at 2:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Is anything actually happening at the RNC right now?
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:05 PM on July 20, 2016


Doesn't have to make sense. Trump's candidacy is proof positive of that. Just find people's buttons and mash 'em like a Karateka n00b.
posted by middleclasstool at 2:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


So-called "fair trade" and "bad trade deals" have been the backbone of the Trump campaign. But after two nights of the convention -- including last nights "Let's Make America Work Again" theme -- the word "trade" has only been mentioned twice in more than a dozen hours of speeches and ceremonies.

This is interesting to me. It suggests that the mainstream GOP, which doesn't like Trump's anti-trade message, is still exerting a lot of influence over the message at the convention. I firmly believe that the fallout of globalization for white working class Americans is at the heart of Trump's popularity (there have always been racists; they didn't mind aligning themselves with progressive politicians when times were good).

The fact that Trump has almost been counter-programming the convention at times lends further credence to the fact that Trump is barely paying attention to what's happening and what's being said inside the arena.
posted by dry white toast at 2:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


The fact that Trump has almost been counter-programming the convention at times lends further credence to the fact that Trump is barely paying attention to what's happening and what's being said inside the arena.

More accurate.
posted by phearlez at 2:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


> In addition to some of this stuff being reminiscent of calls to burning Clinton at the stake as mentioned in the campaign email above, the thirst for her blood in conjunction with Benghazi and everything else, and the attitude we've seen from some in the Republican base that everything would have gone just fine in Iraq and Afghanistan if it weren't for Obama and Clinton (Al Baldasaro, the NH state rep calling for her execution, who is doubling down, is quoted as saying "Hillary Clinton to me is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam"), is reminding me of the Dolchstoßlegende, the myth that Germany had lost WWI due to a conspiracy to undermine the nation (involving Jews among many others, of course) which the Nazis made a central theme of their propaganda.

Stabbed in the Back! The past and future of a right-wing myth

Previously.
posted by homunculus at 2:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.

Another one of Baldasaro's favorite nouns is "pervert", which he has used both to describe Ray Buckley, the gay head of our state Democratic Party, and women who breastfeed in public.
posted by XMLicious at 2:11 PM on July 20, 2016


so what's the feeling of the thread on rick rick jokes tonight. could we maybe have a few? I miss them
posted by angrycat at 2:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


New Hampshire is the one that has approximately one legislator for every 6 people right?
posted by tivalasvegas at 2:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Hillary Clinton to me is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam"

What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.


What it means is that they've gone past making their high school history, civics, and science teachers disappointed in them and are now going after English teachers.
posted by ckape at 2:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [31 favorites]


Alison McCann at 538: “Hip-Hop Is Turning on Donald Trump”

A little stale, but an excuse to post YG’s “FDT Part 2 (Feat G-Eazy & Macklemore)” (Original)
posted by Going To Maine at 2:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


New Hampshire is the one that has approximately one legislator for every 6 people right?

IIRC that's Vermont.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:15 PM on July 20, 2016


This is a way of trying to get through to enlisted soldiers and draftees of my father's generation, and their families.

Because four student deferments and a medical deferment for "bone spurs" don't count, nor does saying "I was not a believer in the Vietnam War."

For a certain cohort of angry white man, Jane Fonda has been the Jane Fonda of the Jane Fonda for over 40 years. It's pure shibboleth.
posted by holgate at 2:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


The only message at the convention so far has been: Crooked Hillary Treason Guilty Hang Her Islamic Terrorists Reagan Build a Wall Liberals I can't Even Trumperica Fuck Yeah
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


This is interesting to me. It suggests that the mainstream GOP, which doesn't like Trump's anti-trade message, is still exerting a lot of influence over the message at the convention.

Some additional evidence would be that after all of those promises to add some Hollywood and sports figures, almost the entire roster is current or former politicians. Some of that probably comes down to Trump overpromising on guests, getting rejected, and then scrambling, but even then it's hard to see him eagerly backfilling that time with Shelley Moore Capito and people he's been open contemptuous of like Marco Rubio. I definitely get the feeling that this is still the party's convention in most of the ways that count.
posted by Copronymus at 2:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


MY GOD
posted by clavdivs at 2:24 PM on July 20, 2016


Couple more street streamers
Dahboo7
B Rich
posted by phoque at 2:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]




Just find people's buttons and mash 'em like a Karateka n00b.

Are you saying there's a better way to play? Apart from timing the hawk punch?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:27 PM on July 20, 2016


and a contribution from a New Hampshire state rep and advisor to Trump: Clinton “Should Be Put In The Firing Line And Shot For Treason”

Something I like is when an idiot says the opposite of what he means.
posted by rifflesby at 2:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


the word "trade" has only been mentioned twice in more than a dozen hours of speeches and ceremonies.

Blame the avocado farmer for the missed opportunity. US avocado growers benefitted from a century of protectionist trade embargoes against Mexican avocados. These are finally finally relaxed.
posted by peeedro at 2:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This RNC convention is what is left when you subtract most of the mainstream Rs from the attendance list - -- a few failed candidates, some lackluster supporters, a bunch of family members, and a cavalcade of inanity and rabble rousing. Speaking as a former R, I also think that nominating Trump is essentially a case of the R party poisoning itself. I keep thinking of the image by Thomas Mann at the end of Dr. Faust, of Germany falling into the grave as she strangles herself.

I am very much looking forward to the DNC convention, which will be a refreshing and happy contrast in every way. And I will bet on Hillary to wipe the floor with the Donald. The man is just not ready for prime time and never will be. He is another edition of Sarah Palin -- glitzy but lazy and lacking in any real content.
posted by bearwife at 2:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


IIRC that's Vermont.

No—I don't know if it's true at the moment, but the state legislature of New Hampshire has at various points been the largest legislative body in the world, larger than that of any nation-state.

Another fun fact: all the way up until 1877 a law was still on the books that required state Senators (of whom there are considerably fewer, it's the House that's large) to be Protestants—ergo, no Catholics or Jews presumably, though it was never enforced. French Canadian Catholics were the ones Trump would have been building a wall to keep out if he was running for President here in the 18th century.

So double-hypocritically, those of my fellow Granite Staters who are supporting Trump are in many cases descended from undocumented French Canadians who simply walked across the border, as did some of mine, (at some time in the late 20th century this was estimated to be ⅓ of the state's population; when I was in high school there was still a French-language book store nearby) on top of in the first place being descended from Europeans opportunistically settling in North America.
posted by XMLicious at 2:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


The Smoking Gun is reporting that Meredith McIver is a real person who re-registered as a Republican two months ago after 20+ years as a Democrat.
posted by zachlipton at 2:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.

MARKOV AMERICA GREAT AGAIN
posted by a lungful of dragon at 2:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [53 favorites]


Wow, I wonder what was given / promised to her for taking the fall.
posted by tonycpsu at 2:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


The Smoking Gun is reporting that Meredith McIver is a real person who re-registered as a Republican two months ago after 20+ years as a Democrat.

I want to see her birth certificate.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


I wouldn't count on it being worth it.
posted by Artw at 2:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


He is another edition of Sarah Palin -- glitzy but lazy and lacking in any real content.

Sarah Malein?

the state legislature of New Hampshire has at various points been the largest legislative body in the world

Dammit. I remembered Jess mentioning it on the podcast, so I made the connection to VT.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:41 PM on July 20, 2016


"MEREDITH! Sign this. Thanks."
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I read somewhere, but have not had confirmed, that Clinton's somewhat large/baggy jackets are shaped that way because she's wearing a bulletproof vest under them. After watching people howl for her blood, I hope that's true.
posted by emjaybee at 2:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


MARKOV AMERICA GREAT AGAIN

There are a thousand Trump bots out there, and I’m not if any of their authors has hit on this simple, perfect title.
posted by Going To Maine at 2:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


This header picture, holy cats. I don't know why I'm shocked, I knew there were Nazis demonstrating, but this pic made my blood run cold.
posted by emjaybee at 2:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


[It pains me to even have to say this, but for the sake of clarity: a few comments removed; please do not, in this the year 2016, actually try to do a rickroll.]
posted by cortex (staff) at 2:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [72 favorites]




I read somewhere, but have not had confirmed, that Clinton's somewhat large/baggy jackets are shaped that way because she's wearing a bulletproof vest under them. After watching people howl for her blood, I hope that's true.


Yes - also corb had mentioned that there are apparently very few companies that make effective body armor for women, which is partly why she can't wear more modern/fitting armor.

That made me feel like if she wants to wear expensive Armani jackets over her made-for-dudes armor she has to wear because people want to hurt her, I mean, for god's sake let her.
posted by zutalors! at 2:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]




A Rickroll is, arguably, relevant to the convention, given Melania's speech.
posted by stolyarova at 2:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


[It pains me to even have to say this, but for the sake of clarity: a few comments removed; please do not, in this the year 2016, actually try to do a rickroll.]

Come on people, you know the rules here. And so do I.
posted by Drinky Die at 2:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [65 favorites]


[It pains me to even have to say this, but for the sake of clarity: a few comments removed; please do not, in this the year 2016, actually try to do a rickroll.]

Can we just have a new guideline: do not say anything a member of the Trump family would say? Best of all, inexplicably, in this the year 2016, that would include a rickroll prohibition automatically.
posted by zachlipton at 2:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Can we just have a new guideline: do not say anything a member of the Trump family would say?

Considering they stole lines from the First Lady, I think you're asking everybody not to say anything ever.

Which, granted, has its appeal nowadays.
posted by Celsius1414 at 2:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Jill Harth, woman who sued Trump over alleged sexual assault, breaks silence

Ivanka says Trump is "not a groper"
posted by petebest at 3:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


"Hillary Clinton to me is the Jane Fonda of the Vietnam"

What does this even mean, it is just a bunch of nouns strung together.

posted by tivalasvegas at 4:57 PM on July 20 [+] [!]

They're both women, duh!

There's no Meredith McIver in Trump's June payroll reported to the FEC.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ivanka says Trump is "not a groper"

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew how does she know that
posted by stolyarova at 3:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


please do not, in this the year 2016, actually try to do a rickroll

OK, we'll give it up.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]




This rickroll ban is going to make me cry. ;_;
posted by stolyarova at 3:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Why Are Third-Graders Afraid of Donald Trump?
A soon-to-be fourth grader in Newton, Massachusetts, Micah is the co-founder of Kids Against Trump, a group that started with a paper petition passed around the playground at Angier Elementary, a K-6 school in a bucolic suburb just west of Boston.

The idea for the petition started in February after some of Trump’s speeches. The candidate’s words troubled Micah on two levels. First of all, there were Trump’s disparaging comments about women, Muslims, and immigrants. Micah was adopted from Guatemala as an infant, and he has two moms. So it felt to Micah like Trump was attacking his family and friends.

But another thought stuck with Micah: I can understand everything he’s saying.

“He’s talking on my level—I’m 9 years old, ” Micah says. “That’s not okay.”
It matters that Donald Trump is very vulgar

More at OMNIVORE
posted by the man of twists and turns at 3:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [57 favorites]


I read somewhere, but have not had confirmed, that Clinton's somewhat large/baggy jackets are shaped that way because she's wearing a bulletproof vest under them. After watching people howl for her blood, I hope that's true.

Yes - also corb had mentioned that there are apparently very few companies that make effective body armor for women, which is partly why she can't wear more modern/fitting armor.

I read it here, on this website, so wouldn’t mind an outside cite.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Secret Service is investigating a prominent Donald Trump supporter who said Hillary Clinton should be "shot for treason."

Secret Service spokesman Robert Hoback says the agency is aware of comments made by New Hampshire state Rep. Al Baldasaro. Hoback says the Secret Service "will conduct the appropriate investigation."

Baldasaro said Clinton — a former secretary of state who's the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee — should be "put in the firing line and shot for treason" over the 2012 attacks in Benghazi, Libya, that killed four Americans.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


do not say anything a member of the Trump family would say?

"Living well is the best revenge." -Melania Trump
posted by drezdn at 3:08 PM on July 20, 2016


Someone a few threads ago described this place as a pinhole camera that makes looking at this convention safe and that's it exactly. It's like a horrible eclipse that can burn your eyes out if you look at it without a filter.
posted by emjaybee at 3:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


It is true that Ivanka's account of how Donald sexually assaulted her is not really a description of groping.
posted by bearwife at 3:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I mean, Clinton is presumably rich enough to get a custom-made bulletproof vest if she dislikes the boxy jackets. (Here’s a random bulletproof vest site. How good its body armor is, I have no idea.)
posted by Going To Maine at 3:10 PM on July 20, 2016


The pitfalls of working for Donald Trump, or why his campaign is a piece of crap
If Trump can’t properly staff up headquarters, how can he staff up the battleground states? And he hasn’t.

So instead, we see Trump run his campaign by random fiat. What, the Melania plagiarism story is fading? Why, let’s reignite it again! And now we’re about to be treated to something we haven’t seen in the modern era: A major party candidate delivering an acceptance speech that no one has seen.

The preparation of Trump’s Thursday night acceptance speech is in shambles, with people in the know having seen only fragments of it and nervous that the speech will not be properly vetted or will consist of clichés.

Cliches? They should be so lucky. Cliches aren’t the problem. It’s Trump’s insufferable narcissism, and he has no one on staff that can rein it in. It will be glorious.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


It is true that Ivanka's account of how Donald sexually assaulted her is not really a description of groping.
posted by bearwife at 6:08 PM on July 20 [1 favorite +] [!]


That's her mother Ivana. (Which makes it only infinitesimally less horrific.)
posted by McCoy Pauley at 3:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


If you're looking for something to discredit Trump with his supporters, keep showing them this picture.

Doesn't matter. It really doesn't. That picture has been shown a billion times anyway, by Sanders supporters wanting to discredit Clinton, so it's not like the image hasn't already made the rounds.

But beyond that, it doesn't matter because Trump's entire campaign has fully accepted and embraced the virtue of double standards. That picture right there? That's a show of how Clinton is a craven, two-faced liar, but Trump is all canny and savvy and knows how to play people.

If it's about Clinton, it's a vice. If it's about Trump, it's a virtue.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 3:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


“He’s talking on my level—I’m 9 years old, ” Micah says. “That’s not okay.”

god damn but the kids are all right
posted by murphy slaw at 3:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [52 favorites]


Okay, fine, if we can't have rickrolls (sorry), can we at least link to LBJ ordering pants? A moment of levity before the ritual sacrifices of the evening begin?

(Via Daring Fireball, "See if You Can’t Leave Me About a Good Inch From Where the Zipper Ends … Right on Back to My Bunghole")
posted by RedOrGreen at 3:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sorry, my bad. My point being that her mom's description of what happened is rape. Which in purely technical terms didn't include groping.
posted by bearwife at 3:14 PM on July 20, 2016


Study: Reading Harry Potter increases dislike for Donald Trump
The study, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Donald"--a nod to the title of the seventh book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, was conducted by a professor at the University of Pennsylvania. It surveyed 1,142 Americans both in 2014 and 2016 to ask about their Harry Potter reading habits and opinions on various political issues, including their feelings on Trump.

Respondents were asked to rate their feelings for Trump on a 0-100 scale--and found that for each one of the seven "Harry Potter" books that person had read, their evaluation of Trump dropped by approximately 2 or 3 points.

"This may seem small, but for someone who has read all seven books, the total impact could lower their estimation of Trump by 18 points out of 100,"
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


(Here’s a random bulletproof vest site. How good its body armor is, I have no idea.)

I assume she's not Googling body armor though. She only wears the boxy jackets when speaking in front of large crowds so I assume that the armor is necessary and not her preferred style.
posted by zutalors! at 3:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Respondents were asked to rate their feelings for Trump on a 0-100 scale--and found that for each one of the seven "Harry Potter" books that person had read, their evaluation of Trump dropped by approximately 2 or 3 points.

I think this pattern would hold true (more books read = higher Trump unfavorables) no matter which books respondents had read.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [33 favorites]


(Here’s a random bulletproof vest site. How good its body armor is, I have no idea.)

I assume she's not Googling body armor though. She only wears the boxy jackets when speaking in front of large crowds so I assume that the armor is necessary and not her preferred style.

Sure, but this whole thing still seems like an unsubstantiated rumor. A plausible sounding rumor, certainly, but entirely unverified by anything except for a highly-favorited comment on MetaFilter.
posted by Going To Maine at 3:26 PM on July 20, 2016


Any good onsite or general offsite smart people to follow on Twitter?
posted by OmieWise at 3:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


please do not, in this the year 2016, actually try to do a rickroll

Just in election threads? Or anywhere? Sad!
posted by kingless at 3:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Jared Yates Sexton is outside the RNC.
posted by stolyarova at 3:28 PM on July 20, 2016


Can anyone explain why it's apparently acceptable for a public figure (or anyone) to call for Hillary Clinton to be executed? Why is this okay? Why isn't there more of an uproar from the press or any sort of authority figure about this?
posted by bananana at 3:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


Respondents were asked to rate their feelings for Trump on a 0-100 scale--and found that for each one of the seven "Harry Potter" books that person had read, their evaluation of Trump dropped by approximately 2 or 3 points.

That's because we know that beneath Trumps carefully coiffed soft-serve hairdo lies Voldemorts face.
posted by littlesq at 3:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


bananana, because we are the proverbial frog in the proverbial pot of boiling water.
posted by stolyarova at 3:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Donald Trump Jr. Really Should Have Read His Dad’s Platform Before Speaking Last Night
the nominee’s firstborn son Donald Jr. took the podium to show off his uncanny impression of dad’s hand gestures and talk about how well he knows, like, business. Like Pops, Don Jr. has a Bachelors degree from Wharton and has worked for his father since graduation.

Based on that deep pool of knowledge and experience, Junior launched into this well-constructed attack on Dodd-Frank: [snip] But there’s just one tiny thing.

See, Don Jr.’s smart rant against Dodd-Frank and the socialist culture of over-regulation is undercut in an extreme and borderline comical way by the GOP platform adopted the day before his speech. We won’t bore you with it again since we went rather HAM on it yesterday, but by promising to reinstate Glass-Steagall, Trump and his party have surrendered any possible attempt to really run as the party of anti-regulation.

It also makes his kids look dumb when they’re sent out there to make a point the platform inherently contradicts by its mere existence
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


In general, we don't take threats of violence against women seriously at all. Or against nonwhite people.
posted by emjaybee at 3:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


Yes - also corb had mentioned that there are apparently very few companies that make effective body armor for women, which is partly why she can't wear more modern/fitting armor.

Surely there are companies that make bespoke body armour, and the US Secret Service would have sufficient budget to get a few pairs made up for Clinton; that and the fact that there are increasing numbers of women in positions of controversial power to justify the development of body armour for women on purely market-based grounds?
posted by acb at 3:36 PM on July 20, 2016




Why is this okay? Why isn't there more of an uproar from the press or any sort of authority figure about this?

I'm seeing a lot of press coverage and the Secret Service is investigating. I'm not saying its "enough", but its not being ignored either.
posted by thefoxgod at 3:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




Swing state voter postcard:
I attended a Brandi Carlile + Old Crow Medicine Show concert outside of Dayton, and two wonderful things happened. Carlile told a really sweet story about her wife and kid, and said "I'm proud to be here in the state of Ohio and say my family matters" and the crowd clapped hard, including people that, um, sort of appeared to be typical Ohio Republican suburbanites. Then Old Crow Medicine Show said, "Let's sing a song that the folks in Cleveland can hear" and went into a rendition of "I Hear Them All" and "This Land Is Your Land."
posted by mostly vowels at 3:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]




Honestly, right now I'm just glad I have an event to keep me from having to watch Pence tonight. I don't know how much more hair I have to pull out.
posted by Gaz Errant at 3:42 PM on July 20, 2016


In an amusing aside, 90s band Third Eye Blind apparently performed at an RNC event last night, just so they could troll the audience.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 3:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


I never thought the RNC would make me have a modicum of respect for Third Eye Blind, but there you go.
posted by Gaz Errant at 3:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Does anyone know of any Clinton or Dem group has run ads directly connecting the lies told about Clinton to the fact that Donald Trump is a liar?

I feel like the lies told about Clinton have to be confronted *as* lies, and the difficulty has always been that you don't validate criticisms against you by going to the trouble to refute them.

But this time it fits in perfectly with (one of?) Trump's greatest weakness(es) -- that he is a lying, scamming fraud. Two birds, etc.
posted by schadenfrau at 3:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


what I really like about that Christie video is that the Clinton campaign must have had it since February but they held on to it til juuuuust the right time to make Christie look like as big a hypocritical dipshit as possible, leaving me very hopeful that we have special cans of whoop-ass reserved for Trump whose delivery will be timed for massive critical hit damage multipliers.
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [43 favorites]


I never thought the RNC would make me have a modicum of respect for Third Eye Blind, but there you go.

It is truly a dark time for the Republic.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Can anyone explain why it's apparently acceptable for a public figure (or anyone) to call for Hillary Clinton to be executed?

Secret Service Investigating Trump Adviser Baldasaro for Clinton Execution Comments

Also, many people here in NH have called for him to be dismissed from the legislature (not for the first time) and state Republican party.
posted by XMLicious at 3:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


I know what you mean, Gaz Errant. I had to turn off the RNC during McClellan's speech because he was making my blood boil. I watched the West Wing because it soothed me to enter a kinder, gentler America where people negotiate and use logic and common sense.

Looking ahead: Clinton-Trump Debate Huge Logistical Task For Hofstra University
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump will face-off in the first presidential debate at Hofstra University in Long Island.

The debate was originally scheduled to be held at Wright State University in Ohio, but bowed out citing “cost and safety concerns.” [snip]During the last week of September, the Sports and Exhibition Complex will be transformed into a stage for the ages – protecting the candidates and the public, which is a huge logistical task, as hundreds of extra law enforcement officers will be on the clock.

“Honestly, you can’t have too much security,” one person said.

Additional local security costs could exceed $700,000. Municipalities do not get reimbursed, though they do expect a windfall from restaurant and hotel bookings.
Not that Donald Trump will stay in a hotel there.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:48 PM on July 20, 2016


I think this pattern would hold true (more books read = higher Trump unfavorables) no matter which books respondents had read.

My thought as well. Here's the original paper which does not seem to have controlled for how much reading a person has done overall.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 3:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


just so they could troll the audience.

Your move, Smashmouth.
posted by drezdn at 3:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


Your Republican nominee.
posted by madamjujujive at 3:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Caitlyn Jenner: It's Easier to Come Out as Trans Than Republican

WashPo: "When PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel takes the stage at the Quicken Loans Arena Thursday night, he will make history: for the first time, a speaker at a Republican national convention will announce that he is proud to be gay, according to a person familiar with his remarks."
posted by peeedro at 3:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]




Donald Trump and the GOP's controversial convention playlist
The Frame's John Horn spoke with Alex Pappademas — executive editor at MTV News — about how Trump and the GOP can get away with using songs without permission, and what other memorable songs have been used at past conventions.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 3:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Caitlyn Jenner: It's Easier to Come Out as Trans Than Republican

According to the article, what Jenner actually said was, “It was easy to come out as trans. It was hard to come out as Republican.” I find it entirely plausible that this was true for Caitlyn Jenner, given her age, class, and where she lives. This seems like a perfect example of a decontextualized soundbite headline intended to fuel rage about a figure who deviates from accepted gender norms.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Police: Multiple People Arrested After Fight Over Flag Burning at RNC
Multiple people have been arrested as a result of a fight between demonstrators over a flag burning Wednesday afternoon. Detectives have taped off the scene and are placing evidence markers where the flag was burned and the fight broke out.

Two Cleveland Police officers were assaulted and have minor injuries, according to Cleveland Police. [snip]

Until this incident, only five people had been arrested.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Respondents were asked to rate their feelings for Trump on a 0-100 scale--and found that for each one of the seven "Harry Potter" books that person had read, their evaluation of Trump dropped by approximately 2 or 3 points.

Age explains both opposition to Trump and familiarity with the Harry Potter series. To wit, the younger one is, the more opposed to Trump one is; and the younger one is, the more Harry Potter books one has read.
posted by Abelian Grape at 4:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


for the first time, a speaker at a Republican national convention will announce that he is proud to be gay, according to a person familiar with his remarks

didn't dude sue gawker for outing him?
posted by murphy slaw at 4:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Age explains both opposition to Trump and familiarity with the Harry Potter series

Please actually read research papers before assuming they don't control for obvious explanatory variables like age.
All models included gender (females were expected to rate Trump poorly), education (expected to negatively predict Trump support), age (expected to positively predict Trump support), and evangelical self-identification (expected to discourage both tolerance of Muslims and gays, and consuming stories about wizards

posted by 0xFCAF at 4:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Grab your gin and your blood pressure medication. It's staaaaaarting.
posted by mochapickle at 4:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]




Age explains both opposition to Trump and familiarity with the Harry Potter series. To wit, the younger one is, the more opposed to Trump one is; and the younger one is, the more Harry Potter books one has read.

The original press release (not the study, mind):
Even when controlling for party identification, gender, education level, age, evangelical self-identification, and social dominance orientation — all factors known to predict Americans’ attitudes toward Donald Trump — the Harry Potter effect remained.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:06 PM on July 20, 2016


This seems like a perfect example of a decontextualized soundbite headline intended to fuel rage about a figure who deviates from acceptable gender norms.

I think it's about time we all just accept that Caitlyn Jenner is a horrible person regardless of any other attributes, TBH.
posted by Artw at 4:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


I've always got the impression that Caitlyn Jenner keeps volunteering to be the Republicans' Token Trans Person and no one in the GOP gives a shit

I feel bad for her more than anything else. Like, oh honey, they're never going to respect you
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 4:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [37 favorites]


Caitlyn Jenner: It's Easier to Come Out as Trans Than Republican

That's not surprising, it's a matter of statistics. Any trans person have around half the country supporting them being who they are. But if they're also a Republican, that drops off as those supporters are questioning why they would side with people who would deny who they are as a person.
posted by numaner at 4:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


They got some people of color and women to stand up last night and support them, Thiel and Jenner are just more of the same. Being in an oppressed group doesn't mean you can't be an assbag.
posted by emjaybee at 4:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


The way they're trotting out token minorities is gross.
posted by stolyarova at 4:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


everything they are doing is gross.
posted by mochapickle at 4:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]




Caitlyn Jenner: It's Easier to Come Out as Trans Than Republican

Living proof that any American can be an awful person if they work hard enough at it, I guess.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 4:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Well, the books do have the protagonists having to deal with concerted media smear campaigns, overcoming bigotry (sometimes open and sometimes disguised as folksy charm), and in the last book basically overthrowing a fascist regime.
posted by ckape at 4:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Tonight's theme is Make America First Again.

I note that there don't seem to be any teachers speaking about how we can better educate our young or any medical personnel who can speak about how we can improve health care for everyone. Nope. It's git yr bootstraps on and pull! Pull! Pull!

2016 RNC Day 3: Full Schedule and How to Watch the Live Stream Online

Laura Ingram is first up. I think I'll give her a miss. But I definitely want to see Cruz and Rubio.

Then there is the special case of Michelle Van Etten, Soon-to-Be RNC 2016 Star, Peddles Pills that Make Alex Jones ‘Crazed’A marketer who sells pseudoscience pills just landed a prime-time slot at the convention. Among her fans: Infowars’ Alex Jones, who says the supplements make him ‘crazed and aggressive.’
Michelle Van Etten was presented by the RNC in a Sunday evening press release as a “small business owner” who “employs over 100,000 people.” That’s roughly 1.5 times the number of employees Apple employs in the United States, making it a highly unlikely claim. For such a supposedly large employer, she has flown under the radar—until the announcement of her speech at the convention, there was no record of her business work in the press.

Van Etten is involved in selling products that claim to improve health and even fight cancer, all based on dubious science. And as you peel the story back, every single layer is fascinating: there’s Alex Jones hysteria, pyramid-scheme-style marketing, and questionable Clemson University research.
Pyramid schemes-- just one way to make America Great Again!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


The Baffler: Pity, O God, the Republican, Susan Faludi
As Donald Trump rose and rose in the polls in the primary season of early 2016, the occasional press commentator would give a passing nod to his kinship with such European reactionary leaders as National Front’s Marine Le Pen in France, the Dutch Party for Freedom’s Geert Wilders, and Fidesz’s leader, the twice-elected Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbán. Ethnocentric jingoism is general all over Europe. The Donald and Viktor, in particular, enjoy a certain kissing-cousin resemblance. One wants to build “a beautiful wall” on the Mexican border to keep out illegal immigrants. The other famously erected a thirteen-foot-high razor-wire fence running 110 miles across the Serbian border to keep out Syrian refugees (and soon after, a second fence along the Croatian border). One began as a Democrat who lavished his wealth on party stalwarts from Harry Reid to Nancy Pelosi to Hillary Clinton. The other began as a moderate whose studies were funded by the liberal Soros Foundation and whose then-youthful party (Fidesz is short for the Alliance of Young Democrats) originally supported a democratic agenda. One has built his personality cult on class resentment, racial animus, and a swaggering authoritarianism that promises to rescue his benighted supporters from humiliation and failure. Ditto for the other, who is known to his fans as “The Savior of Hungary.” His opponents call him “The Viktator.”
But the parallel that most strikes me (and strikes fear in me) isn’t the kinship of two despotically inclined politicians. It is the kinship of national mindsets. Yes, Trump, like Orbán, is a bully. And yes, they both make hay of bigotry. More essentially, though, they both have a combustible social mixture to make hay with. The base ingredients of this mixture have more to do with grievance and a sense of violation than with the hatred and xenophobia the American press likes to harp on. I’d observe them in their elemental form in Budapest.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 4:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


How do Trump's supporters square the constant (and mostly false) accusations of Clinton lying with Trump's continual, blatant, easily-proven lies?
posted by kirkaracha at 4:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh, man. Reading on Twitter that the speakers bureau supposedly repping McIvers is an SEO trash site—authors John Green, Maureen Johnson, Dan Sinker, and others were amused to discover their bios listed there, too, despite being repped by other agencies.
posted by mothershock at 4:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


The way they're trotting out token minorities is gross.

Of course, they’d also be getting heat for not trotting out minorities. If your objections are with their policies, then the optics will outrage you regardless.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


kirkaracha, Clinton only lies for herself. Trump is lying for the good of America, even if you don't understand that. /s
posted by stolyarova at 4:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


How do Trump's supporters square the constant (and mostly false) accusations of Clinton lying with Trump's continual, blatant, easily-proven lies?

they rationalize it by thinking everybody lies, but Hillary is a LIAR and somehow, by ignoring the dissonance of it all, they see a difference
posted by OHenryPacey at 4:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


They just see Trump's lies as endearing. Part of his swagger.
posted by argybarg at 4:23 PM on July 20, 2016


Also, Trump may lie but at least he'll make abortion illegal.... right?
posted by PenDevil at 4:24 PM on July 20, 2016


How do Trump's supporters square the constant (and mostly false) accusations of Clinton lying with Trump's continual, blatant, easily-proven lies?

I'm pretty sure they don't. This isn't a block of people who evaluate things fairly and rationally. I doubt it occurs to them to "square" anything.
posted by mrgoat at 4:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


How do Trump's supporters square the constant (and mostly false) accusations of Clinton lying with Trump's continual, blatant, easily-proven lies?

If you could answer this question, I think, you would solve about a million possible problems beyond this election and resolve a bunch of issues derived from human nature.
posted by Going To Maine at 4:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Yes, it's gross to trot out people as fig leaves, and it's gross to exclude them as well. When your party is running on a platform of shitting on entire categories of people, you're pretty much boxed yourself out of non-gross options.
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


I might have to sit tonight out, I think my lady is reaching her limit for this shit, so I might save what we both have left for tomorrow. Then again seeing how Pence performs in light of the Donald-as-figurehead theory will be hard to resist as an armchair strategist.
posted by vrakatar at 4:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


How do Trump's supporters square the constant (and mostly false) accusations of Clinton lying with Trump's continual, blatant, easily-proven lies?

dou·ble·think. noun. the acceptance of or mental capacity to accept contrary opinions or beliefs at the same time, especially as a result of political indoctrination.
posted by shponglespore at 4:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Belief is a hell of a drug.
posted by mikelieman at 4:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Please actually read research papers before assuming they don't control for obvious explanatory variables like age.

The original news report did not contain a link to the study. After reading the study, "controlling" for various explanatory variables consisted in throwing them all into a linear regression as independent variables. This sort of approach often produces nonsense, especially when there are strong correlations between these variables, as can be seen from the study. For example, neither Democratic party identification nor age were found to have a statistically significant correlation with opposition to Donald Trump. One often sees poor statistical methods employed in social scientific research; one would be well-advised to take their conclusions with hefty grains of salt.
posted by Abelian Grape at 4:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


An MLM shill at the convention? Trump is really screwing up the Republican long con by grabbing for everything he can from their marks in the short time he will be able.
posted by Drinky Die at 4:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


The extended interview with Michael Steele on The Daily Show last night was very telling. (sorry non-US folks, I can't seem to find a link that would work for you :-/, but you might be able to find a less than legal link to the episode somewhere, tbh I didn't check if the condensed interview have the same substance)

It goes with what some of us have been saying about how they're hoping to rein him in after he gets the presidency. Of course Steele also mentions nuance and even praise Clinton's qualifications, but he's still doubling down as a party loyalist.
posted by numaner at 4:26 PM on July 20, 2016


just so they could troll the audience.

Your move, Smashmouth.


They could probably get through all of Horst Wessel Lied before anyone noticed.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Also, Trump may lie but at least he'll make abortion illegal.... right?

Of course, being pro choice his entire life was just another silly excusable lie.
posted by Drinky Die at 4:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Looks like all the good stuff is happening late tonight. Speakers in order:

Laura Ingraham, talk radio host and Fox News regular

Phil Ruffin, billionaire casino owner and Trump friend

Pam Bondi, Florida attorney general who solicited a Trump donation before deciding not to join New York state's investigation of Trump University.

Eileen Collins, retired astronaut and first female space shuttle commander
.
Michelle Van Etten, a multilevel marketer behind the Alex Jones–backed nutritional supplement company Youngevity

Ralph Alvarado, Kentucky state senator

Darrell Scott, pastor from Cleveland Heights and notable African-American Trump supporter

Harold Hamm, billionaire best known for pioneering fracking in Montana and North Dakota

Scott Walker, governor of Wisconsin and former presidential candidate

Lynne Patton, vice president of the Eric Trump Foundation and assistant to Eric, Ivanka, and Donald Trump Jr.

Marco Rubio, US senator from Florida and former presidential candidate (appearing in video)

Ted Cruz, US senator from Texas and former presidential candidate

Eric Trump

Newt Gingrich and Callista Gingrich, former US House speaker and 2012 presidential candidate and president of Gingrich Productions, respectively

Mike Pence, Indiana governor and vice presidential nominee
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:30 PM on July 20, 2016


Day 3 opener: band doing that Beatles shuffle thing again, but vox really letting his hair down this time, really goin' for it, boy howdy.
posted by cortex at 4:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Caitlyn Jenner: It's Easier to Come Out as Trans Than Republican

The Caitlyn Jenner remarks reminded me of this tweet by Winter WK
posted by Greg Nog at 4:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Ad libbing "24/7, baby!" in between chorus hook repeats, thereby defeating the fundamental mathematical conceit of the song. I DEMAND A CONGRESSIONAL INQUIRY.
posted by cortex at 4:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Watching cowboys in big white hats sing along to a very slow version of Sweet Caroline.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:33 PM on July 20, 2016


they rationalize it by thinking everybody lies, but Hillary is a LIAR and somehow, by ignoring the dissonance of it all, they see a difference

We judge others by their actions, but ourselves by our intentions. I suspect this also applies to larger "us versus them" scenarios.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


I know this is a Trump thread, but I'd just like to call your attention to Tila Tequila's latest tweet, because it is AMAZING.
We live in a world full of robots. Ultimately what's going on is that there is a battle between humans and empty robot vessels.
Robots like the Pokemon players. You guys, I might be an empty robot vessel. ...I ...I can't stop reading Tila Tequila's Twitter stream.
posted by maryr at 4:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Oh hell Pence goes last!?!? I have tomorrow off but I got a million things to do damn damn damn.
posted by vrakatar at 4:34 PM on July 20, 2016


The original news report did not contain a link to the study. After reading the study, "controlling" for various explanatory variables consisted in throwing them all into a linear regression as independent variables. This sort of approach often produces nonsense, especially when there are strong correlations between these variables, as can be seen from the study.

Was going to say this as well. Though as far as I can tell, the paper doesn't ever bother to mention what kind of statistical models were used; it was probably a linear regression, but who knows? It also doesn't appear to have undergone peer review and is written in a pretty informal, jocular tone, so I'm not sure how seriously even the author expects us to take it.
posted by biogeo at 4:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hoo boy swaying and awkward shuffle dancing takes me back to the gym at Hill Jr. High School circa 1970
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Anybody else get tingles down their spine when they hear the Star Spangled Banner? Yeah, me neither. I guess that's why I'm not a Republican.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


That's that song about the bombs, right?
posted by monospace at 4:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Tony Kushner, Angels in America: “The white cracker who wrote the National Anthem knew what he was doing. He set the word "free" to a note so high nobody could reach it. That was deliberate.”
posted by mochapickle at 4:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


LDS prayer. Everybody has their head bowed except for a clergyman in the audience who seems to be glaring at the stage with a grumpy face.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


On top of watching this shitshow, I now get to remember having to march in Boy Scouts. Thanks RNC.
posted by Rykey at 4:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


monospace, it's the filk of To Anacreon in Heaven.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 4:44 PM on July 20, 2016


Anybody else get tingles down their spine when they hear the Star Spangled Banner? Yeah, me neither. I guess that's why I'm not a Republican.

I do, actually, which is why it pisses me off that Republicans have attempted to hijack some of my favorite patriotic stuff. It doesn't belong to you, you piddling fools!
posted by Salieri at 4:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


Actual lyrics just sung at the RNC (emphasis added):
I ain’t rich, but I damn sure wanna be
Working like a dog all day, ain’t working for me
I wish I had a rich uncle that’d kick the bucket
And that I was sitting on a pile like Warren Buffett
I know everybody says
Money can’t buy happiness

But it could buy me a boat, it could buy me a truck to pull it
It could buy me a Yeti 110 iced down with some silver bullets
I mean their nominee got the money from his father instead of an uncle, but it's a bit on the nose don't you think?
posted by zachlipton at 4:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


wow, this c/w song is just....so...republican....holy fuck
posted by OHenryPacey at 4:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


"I ain't rich but I sure damn wish I could be." the RNC ballad a paean to the power of spending money.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


As semi-novelty pop country goes I actually like "It Could Buy Me a Boat" a fair bit, but it feels a little on the nose in this context the same way creepy prosperity gospel inversions do. Also whoever is responsible for getting that particular guitar sound should be drummed out of sound production.
posted by cortex at 4:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


It doesn't belong to you, you piddling fools!

I hate that the Tea Party appropriated the Gadsden Flag.
posted by Drinky Die at 4:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Working like a dog all day, ain’t working for me

So, you'll be fired like a dog instead.
posted by peeedro at 4:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Not only is Peter Thiel speaking, but Trump walked out on stage the other night to a song sung by a gay man born with the name Farrokh Bulsara who died from AIDS. While being compared to Ronald Reagan. So maybe against the wishes of the heirs, but proof that Trump is loved by the gays and the Muslims those people with names like that.
posted by XMLicious at 4:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


More from the song:
I hear the Powerball Lotto is a-sitting’ on a hundred mill…
Well, that would buy me a brand new rod and reel…
They *gotta* be trolling us...
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 4:48 PM on July 20, 2016


So to be clear, the band was playing cover songs, they did a bit of patriotic pageantry, a touch of prayer, and now the band (with an additional member) is playing cover songs. It doesn't exactly feel like they've "started" anything. They sure haven't done anything to deserve a musical break yet.
posted by zachlipton at 4:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh noes now they are ruining Ring of Fire! Bastards.

I hate that the Far Right appropriated the words Family Values and Freedom.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Though as far as I can tell, the paper doesn't ever bother to mention what kind of statistical models were used; it was probably a linear regression, but who knows?

Based on the footnotes to the tables in the appendix, it was an ordinary least-squares regression (though the details of the models aren't mentioned in the research methods section). Also, the majority of the references are newspaper or magazine articles. So you're probably right in thinking that the study was intended as a joke.
posted by Abelian Grape at 4:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ugh. I think I'll go do something else during this musical interlude. It's pretty terrible.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:50 PM on July 20, 2016


well, to be fair, they just sorta covered the Social Distortion cover of Ring of Fire
posted by OHenryPacey at 4:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


LDS prayer.

Briefly read this as "LSD prayer" and had an image of a flesh interface forming at 9REPUBLICAN9NATIONAL9CONVENTION9
posted by Greg Nog at 4:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


"Next please join us in singing 'This Land is Your Land.'"

TRUMP IS INSTANTLY STRUCK DEAD
posted by leotrotsky at 4:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


This musical interlude is just making me cranky. And the footage of super awkward dancing in the crowd isn't helping.
posted by mochapickle at 4:52 PM on July 20, 2016


Once again, the GOP provides a spectacular misreading of the meaning of "Born in the USA."
posted by zachlipton at 4:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Aw, fuck, Janson. Pop country made good enough sense but you had to go and do just the chorus of Born in the USA?
posted by cortex at 4:52 PM on July 20, 2016


Do NOT sing "Born in the USA," damn it!
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:53 PM on July 20, 2016


OH NO HE DI-INT!

You thought you had put this to bed after the Reagan debacle, didn't you, Springsteen? Sorry about that...
posted by Rykey at 4:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


> Sure, but this whole thing [that Hillary wears body armor and that's why her jackets are cut that way] still seems like an unsubstantiated rumor. A plausible sounding rumor, certainly, but entirely unverified by anything except for a highly-favorited comment on MetaFilter

I've read it elsewhere, but again without a firm source.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:54 PM on July 20, 2016


I love the twitch commentary: "wow, twitch is actually streaming this? the graphics on this game are amazing"
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 4:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Have they done "Fortunate Son" yet?
posted by tobascodagama at 4:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


I do get the sense, just from reading y'all's reports on the set list, that the band is at least half-trolling. Maybe they're saving the full-length rendition of "Alice's Restaurant" for tomorrow night.
posted by tobascodagama at 4:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


@theshrillest: the crowd is going NUTS for Sweet Caroline by the way. I've never heard a group of people so excited to hear this song in my life
posted by Artw at 4:56 PM on July 20, 2016


Once again, the GOP provides a spectacular misreading of the meaning of "Born in the USA."

Not so much a misreading as a studied lack of irony. You need that as a Republican engaging with most pop culture.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 4:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I just can't tell what's trolling and what's sincere anymore.
posted by Shutter at 4:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


> the band is at least half-trolling

It was just the chorus of of "Born in the USA;" I tend to agree with you.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


2016 crazypants nonsense aside: I really don't get this 4 days of 4 hours of speakers stuff. Like both parties do it and have for years.

What's the point of having so many speakers? Are they just trying to fill up all that time because they have that time from the networks and don't want to give it up?

I've been to a couple of rallies and events where it's obvious that people are given speaking time in recognition of exchange for their support for the cause. At that point it's all about the organizers giving spotlight time to whichever mucky-muck feels like they deserve it in order to keep them in the fold. It's never about the audience.

Yet a lot of this just feels like they're trying to fill time more than they're trying to build support, and it's been that way for years. Am I missing something? Or am I just not the target audience? Are there people out there who really want 16+ hours of speechifying in a week?
posted by scaryblackdeath at 4:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


MSNBC had the "Art of the Deal" ghostwriter on, Tony Schwartz, who spoke to a New Yorker reporter about Trump. Apparently, Trump is threatening him, sent him a C&D, and is demanding he return all the money he ever made from the book. He says: "If Trump could run for Emperor of the world, he would."
posted by zachlipton at 4:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


You need that as a Republican engaging with most pop culture.

*cough*
posted by peeedro at 4:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Rick Scott: "I'm old enough to remember when terrorism happened in foreign countries, not here."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 4:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Once again, the GOP provides a spectacular misreading of the meaning of "Born in the USA."

Self awareness is not really their forte. Trump entered to a song written by a bisexual European Zoroastrian of South Asian heritage without so much as a blink.
posted by leotrotsky at 4:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Amusing propagandist-fight: Daily Show sets up to acquire Gays for Trump interviews to negatively edit, Breitbart sets up to acquire unedited footage of same interviews, Daily Show pathetically tries to bully away Breitbart.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 4:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, Chris Janson's the guy who recorded Buy Me a Boat, which as much as it may bear all kiiiiiiinds of hitched-eyebrow exegesis if taken seriously as a political text has also been a huge and basically likeable pop country hit the last year. And the galling (whether willing or not) misapprehension of Born in the USA is hardly unprecedented at this point. So I wonder about G. E. Smith et al's mindset on the playlist, but I think Janson's pretty much doing exactly the job expected
posted by cortex at 4:59 PM on July 20, 2016


the crowd is going NUTS for Sweet Caroline by the way. I've never heard a group of people so excited to hear this song in my life

Spoken like someone who's never been to a Red Sox game.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


Argh, more token minorities. The lizard people aren't gonna fall for this and vote Trump just because you put one of them on stage.
posted by Drinky Die at 5:00 PM on July 20, 2016


Rick Scott looks alarmingly similar to Fire Marshall Bill.
posted by mochapickle at 5:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


And the galling (whether willing or not) misapprehension of Born in the USA is hardly unprecedented at this point.

It's practically a tradition.
posted by Artw at 5:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Rick Scott just talked about Orlando (invoking the magic words "radical Islamic terrorism" no less) without mentioning gay people. He says he cried with the "grieving moms, dads, brothers, and sisters" of those killed, but apparently doesn't give a crap about any of their spouses.
posted by zachlipton at 5:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [40 favorites]


scaryblackdeath, they have several days of speeches and other posturing in case of a contested convention - that lets everyone announce who they're with and what they're willing to accept in a candidate. If the convention is uncontested, it's just a party.

(insert assumed comment about Republican partying skills.)
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:01 PM on July 20, 2016


4 days of 4 hours of speakers stuff. Like both parties do it and have for years.

History, tradition, messaging, organizing, not necessarily in that order.
posted by vrakatar at 5:01 PM on July 20, 2016


Rick Scott looks alarmingly similar to Fire Marshall Bill.

I saw Deadpool and said, "yeah, that's him."
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:02 PM on July 20, 2016


Rick Scott looks alarmingly similar to Fire Marshall Bill.

Holy shit.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Just got home and turned the stream on. Rick Scott is high as fuck I see.
posted by Talez at 5:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"When PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel takes the stage at the Quicken Loans Arena Thursday night, he will make history: for the first time, a speaker at a Republican national convention will announce that he is proud to be gay, according to a person familiar with his remarks."

It'll be interesting to see if him being a neoreactionary post-Randian asshole will negate him being one of teh gayz, or whether the mood will get ugly. I imagine it'll be touch and go.
posted by acb at 5:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


If you're the Governor of Florida, is your call to "fire the politicians" a plea for help?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


from way up-thread: I'd totally buy Richard Nixon stepping out of the shadows to declare that he orchestrated this whole thing

Even without the comics framing, I will 100% buy Nixon being behind anything terrible. (I recently listened to a podcast episode about Helen Gahagan Douglas vs Nixon, and he's even worse than I'd thought.)

Aside: thanks all y'all for the links, insights, and quips. (And corb, if you're ever in Olympia, I'd buy you a drink.)
posted by epersonae at 5:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Rick Scott: "I'm old enough to remember when terrorism happened in foreign countries, not here."

So...he's pushing about 530 years old?
posted by gimonca at 5:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


If you're the Governor of Florida, is your call to "fire the politicians" a plea for help?

I think it's more of a dare.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:04 PM on July 20, 2016


If you're the Governor of Florida, is your call to "fire the politicians" a plea for help?

No, he's a "businessman".
posted by peeedro at 5:05 PM on July 20, 2016


That was my thought. "No terrorism here" only makes sense if you're playing really fast and loose with the definition of terrorism.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:05 PM on July 20, 2016


So...he's pushing about 530 years old?

He does have the ashen pallor and withered frame of a lich. Combine that with his lack of human empathy and you may be on to something. His necromantic preservation wasn't perfect as his brain has obviously atrophied.

I'll get the torches.
posted by leotrotsky at 5:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


So...he's pushing about 530 years old?

That, or he's a newborn.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"My mom waited tables until she was 73 years old"... "wore the same winter coat for 40 years" ... this is not a success story; it's about oppression of women. Did her mom work long after her father retired? Did her father wear the same coat for 40 years?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [67 favorites]


that song about the bombs

oh it gets darker in the other verses that no one sings anymore

much darker

"their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution" darker
posted by tivalasvegas at 5:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


I just wanted to throw a beer when she was like "Their parents didn't teach them respect" but they don't let me bring beers here. I'm back on the floor now.
posted by corb at 5:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [53 favorites]


I'm not entirely sure what her point is here.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 5:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Rick Scott is clearly one of the Observers from Fringe. He remembers the 16th century because he exists outside time.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 5:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


I could cope with "their parents didn't teach them respect" -- it's not a crime to be disrespectful. The problem is with "their parents didn't teach them respect, and therefore they should go to jail and their message should be suppressed."
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


> I'm not entirely sure what her point is here

It feels like a rough draft.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:12 PM on July 20, 2016


Apparently, the pyramid-scheme supplement seller -- now doesn't that tap into an all-American snakeoil bullshit success story? -- has a product called 'Tangy Tangerine' beloved of contrail kook Alex Jones. Tangy Tangerine. Yeah.
posted by holgate at 5:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


If Trump believes so much in US borders and US citizens, why are his companies in other countries?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:13 PM on July 20, 2016


"It's where our dead our buried"

That's a really unusual way to describe a nation of immigrants, one that has lots of military cemeteries in Europe.
posted by fitnr at 5:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Is Laura Ingraham drunk? She sounds fine until you actually listen to her words, which are both rambling and pugnacious.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Rick Scott: "I'm old enough to remember when terrorism happened in foreign countries, not here."

I'm sure he means that as a dis at GWB, right?
posted by Thorzdad at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm trying to represent the "posting on Metafilter because this speech is too terrible" dynamic.

Also didn't the postmortem say that most people don't remember or care about Reagan?
posted by corb at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


I just wanted to throw a beer when she was like "Their parents didn't teach them respect" but they don't let me bring beers here. I'm back on the floor now.

MetaFilter Projects: Beer Drone Delivery to the Q
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Did somebody just stuff a bunch of old guys grousing on a porch into a Joan Lunden Animatronic?
posted by Rykey at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


/He says: "If Trump could run for Emperor of the world, he would."

So would I, to be honest.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


She's making a point, and that point is, Hillary is bad. It's very important that she makes this point, because otherwise nobody at the convention would realize it.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


I could cope with "their parents didn't teach them respect" -- it's not a crime to be disrespectful. The problem is with "their parents didn't teach them respect, and therefore they should go to jail and their message should be suppressed."

Especially after today's flag burning protest
posted by zachlipton at 5:15 PM on July 20, 2016


Ok, I'm home tonight alone with the dogs and a cabinet full of bourbon, I think I'll try the actual stream until the wife gets home at 11. I havent been able to touch the pure stuff yet, I needed twitter and Meta to cut it first. She'll be thrilled to find me shitfaced I'm sure, but I'll just explain I needed to put in some training drinking before the general debates.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


She just said that veterans die waiting for health care and someone cheered rather loudly before realizing that was a boo line.
posted by zachlipton at 5:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


Ingraham strikes me as probably the speaker so far most closely simpatico to Trump in terms of schtick and professional experience; even with this sort of directionless hop-and-a-skip recital of red meat zingers she's more in his wheelhouse than most of the folks who've stood up and talked the last few days. You don't get the sense of either grudging/embarrassed establishment or sort of winging-it Who Is This filler, you don't even have Christie's or Guliani's weird manic aggro. Just rehearsed, cheerfully contemptuous media host delivery.
posted by cortex at 5:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm already regretting my decision.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Laura Ingraham: "Who do the Democrats nominate? The woman who helped to orchestrate America's decline ... that has to be some kind of joke like skinny jeans on men or man buns."

She's slurring her words slightly, so it was hard to catch that exactly, but I think I got the gist.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Never give up.... never surrender! By Grabthar's hammer - what a candidate!
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


I'm already regretting my decision.

Bourbon goes in face. Repeat.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Ingraham is basically the non-felon version of Dinesh d'Souza.
posted by holgate at 5:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's like she's editing on the go so she doesn't say anything that might counter the crazy that trump has already said.
posted by OHenryPacey at 5:20 PM on July 20, 2016


did she just say that Drumpf won the nom by calling out all of the shitty republicans who ran against him? that's gonna sit well...
posted by OHenryPacey at 5:21 PM on July 20, 2016


Just rehearsed, cheerfully contemptuous media host delivery.

One hundred percent. Content-free, pure endorphin distribution.
posted by penduluum at 5:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Ingraham is basically the non-felon version of Dinesh d'Souza.

Speaking of him... Has anyone done a comparison of his film "2016" and the actual year 2016 yet?
posted by drezdn at 5:23 PM on July 20, 2016


"Let's send the lobbyists packing"

I think I just heard several hundred Party operatives shit themselves at once.
posted by Rykey at 5:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


did she just say that Drumpf won the nom by calling out all of the shitty republicans who ran against him? that's gonna sit well...

Given that tonight is the night of humiliating obeisance for most of the Republicans who ran against him.
posted by holgate at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pam Bondi is going to be interesting, and by interesting I mean repulsive. She is likely up for a cabinet position since she came out to endorse Trump before the Florida primary, which was I believe the most high-profile state-level Republican to do so. Oh and of course this was after the Trump Foundation gave $25,000 to a Bondi-controlled PAC after learning that Bondi was reviewing whether to take action against Trump University. Spoiler alert: she did not file suit. Quid pro quo.
posted by gatorae at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


"Donald's word is his bond... if he tells you something, you can put it in the bank"... and hope the bank is insured.

And dude, I don't know that "he can see things that others cannot see" is a selling point for your candidate. I have friends who can see things that others cannot see, and we don't let them drive.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [42 favorites]


Man they could not have strangled the reaction to Ingraham more effectively than to put this guy on next. He sounds like he's doing a speech at an 40-years-sober AA funeral.
posted by penduluum at 5:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


"Donald's word is his bond... if he tells you something, you can put it in the bank"

But only Deutsche Bank.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


this dude is shit-faced
posted by OHenryPacey at 5:26 PM on July 20, 2016


Man, you're not kidding, penduluum. This is what you put on at closing time to clear out the lingerers.
posted by cortex at 5:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Isn't Mark Sanford the guy who ran off to Argentina to be with his mistress? Long time no see, buddy.
posted by Justinian at 5:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is it just me, or does it seem like all the speakers so far are slightly slurring their words?
posted by chaoticgood at 5:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ruffin: "He can see things other people cannot see."

"His handshake is better than any contract."

Like these ones?

During a decade when other casinos here thrived, Mr. Trump’s lagged, posting huge losses year after year. Stock and bondholders lost more than $1.5 billion.

All the while, Mr. Trump received copious amounts for himself, with the help of a compliant board. In one instance, The Times found, Mr. Trump pulled more than $1 million from his failing public company, describing the transaction in securities filings in ways that may have been illegal, according to legal experts.

[...]

“He put a number of local contractors and suppliers out of business when he didn’t pay them,” said Steven P. Perskie, who was New Jersey’s top casino regulator in the early 1990s. “So when he left Atlantic City, it wasn’t, ‘Sorry to see you go.’ It was, ‘How fast can you get the hell out of here?’”

posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"He always pays his bills promptly" says this guy.

He stiffs people all the time say the people he fails to pay.
posted by zachlipton at 5:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Get this man a chair to talk to.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:27 PM on July 20, 2016


Calling it now, this guy is getting orchestra'ed off Academy Awards style. They're in the production booth scrambling to figure out how to make it happen.
posted by penduluum at 5:28 PM on July 20, 2016


Uh, aren't tsunamis a bad thing?
posted by bluecore at 5:29 PM on July 20, 2016


Pam Bondi: "Florida, I lovvvvve yoooouu. I loooovvvveee youuu."

Yep, they've all been hitting it pretty hard backstage. It's only gonna get slurry-er from here on in.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


How do you play Russian roulette with a border? I think I failed to follow that metaphor.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


This woman is an AG?
posted by chaoticgood at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Once again, the GOP provides a spectacular misreading of the meaning of "Born in the USA."

Nope. They've ignored the wording of the song (and its meaning) and adopted the refrain. Because it appeals to their world view. The rest just doesn't matter.

People do this all time, deriving different meanings from the same piece of art. Stories mean more to us usually than actual, objective truth. Republicans have mastered this, I wish the Democrats would.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Bondi says Obama has been "playing Russian Roulette with our borders" on, I guess, the assumption that no one is ever gonna back it up and ask her to unpack that muddle of a metaphor.
posted by cortex at 5:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Pam Bondi: "November 8th is a day of reckoning for all those who have abused their power."

I mean, it's too easy.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Yep, they've all been hitting it pretty hard backstage.

All the remaining stocks of Trump Vodka have been dug out of the pit where they were dumped and are now being billed as a campaign expense.
posted by holgate at 5:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




This woman is an AG?

In the state where Katherine Harris was secretary of state. In Florida, you can pass the bar by driving past a bar.
posted by holgate at 5:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


Pam Bondi isn't exactly a riveting speaker, is she?
posted by Justinian at 5:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm fascinated by all this "Hillary BWOKE DA LAWZZZ" rhetoric, considering they've got a platform that explicitly states that they should ignore US laws where they contradict religious beliefs.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


"We must stop the influx of cocaine and heroin..."

...backstage, right?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Wow she is legit drunk.
posted by gatorae at 5:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


First, you either place a single border in your revolver or a single bullet in your border...
posted by vathek at 5:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


It's like she's never seen her own speech before and is reading it for the first time.
posted by Justinian at 5:33 PM on July 20, 2016


Wow. I'm guessing the backstage prep is: shot, line, nitrous hit, punch in the thigh, slap-slap, shot and GO!

HELLOOO NEWYOOORR!! FLORIDAR!
posted by petebest at 5:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


And last night they were foaming over kangaroo trials, possibly even summary execution. But tonight it's about the rule of law!
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I want to bring the snark, but... it's just a string of words, incoherent words.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:34 PM on July 20, 2016


In Florida, you can pass the bar by driving past a bar.

I lived there for two years. You should've told me sooner.
posted by jonmc at 5:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's like she's never seen her own speech before and is reading it for the first time.

It's the only way to be sure.
posted by Artw at 5:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


She keeps talking about the "rule of law". I do not think that means what she thinks it means.
posted by Justinian at 5:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Uh-oh. Serious video montage time.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:36 PM on July 20, 2016


and now: spaaaaaace
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 5:36 PM on July 20, 2016


Raise your hand if you thought Sarah Palin's biggest influence on the Republican Party would be all the people copying her diction and rhetorical style.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Did my Tivo just switch to a new channel? What? Space program? Because Republicans are known for wanting to fund the space program? Or is today Opposite Day? Am I the drunk one?
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


I love NASA, but... Surprise!
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:37 PM on July 20, 2016


~In Florida, you can pass the bar by driving past a bar.
~Wow she is legit drunk


So, actually not past a bar, then?
posted by Thorzdad at 5:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


I'm gonna go drink with a couple of MeFites and give my brain a break. Have something approximating fun, y'all.
posted by cortex at 5:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Maybe there's not enough oxygen in the convention center
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think the idea is that this one long acid trip and here's the part where we become one with the universe
posted by Grimp0teuthis at 5:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


wow...have they been directed to speak at a fourth grade level?
posted by OHenryPacey at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


WEEEE I'm watching Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy!
posted by vrakatar at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016


"In 1958 America was committed to winning and NASA was born." Oh so "Make America One Again means getting behind NASA and funding it? Well that would be fabulous.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


"Say an extra prayer that the US will soon reclaim its rightful place as the leader in space exploration." WTF?
posted by zachlipton at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016


I'm gonna go drink with a couple of MeFites and give my brain a break. Have something approximating fun, y'all.

mods are asleep, post rickrolls
posted by Justinian at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [37 favorites]


". . . and to break the rules of gravity"

rules??
posted by petebest at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


WTF was up with that video? BTW John Glenn was an Ohio Democratic Senator, so...
posted by mostly vowels at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Which specific tax cuts are the Republicans proposing to fund further NASA projects?
posted by uosuaq at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's like she's never seen her own speech before and is reading it for the first time.

Well, you saw what happened to Melania... Plausible deniabiliy.
posted by tonycpsu at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I mean NASA's budget isn't a matter of prayer it's a matter of giving it a certain amount of money.
posted by zachlipton at 5:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


A moonbase was part of Gingrich's 2012 platform
posted by zakur at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


the fuck is up with that hair?
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2016


Colonel Eileen Collins: Oh good; I can tell her apart from the other skinny white blonde women because she has short hair.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2016


My current strategy: Every time the RNC mentions "law and order" or "Hillary," I take a drink and change to America's Got Talent. Then, any time AGT has a sobby backstory, I take a drink and switch back to the RNC.

The remote control is getting a good workout. So's my drinking arm.
posted by yesster at 5:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Oh they love their Astronauts like they love their Vets-- ya know as long as it doesn't cost them anything and clapping doesn't cost a thing nor does cheering.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


On the one hand, I'm sad because I have now lost all respect for the first woman to command a space shuttle. On the other hand, I'm happy because she's an even worse speaker than Pam Bondi.
posted by Justinian at 5:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


A moonbase was part of Gingrich's 2012 platform

Trump's platform also includes a moonbase, of sorts.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trump if he decided not to debate Clinton would say something like:

'No where in the Constitution does it say I have to debate anyone. Look. I'm going to make America great again, and she's a crook'
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 5:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Too bad someone couldn't have slipped this onto the teleprompter:

"Through the miracle of big government, and the lavish expenditure of your tax dollars, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin set foot on the moon."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]




Isn't Mark Sanford the guy who ran off to Argentina to be with his mistress? Long time no see, buddy.

AKA "hiking the Appalachian Trail."
posted by kirkaracha at 5:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


On the one hand, I'm sad because I have now lost all respect for the first woman to command a space shuttle. On the other hand, I'm happy because she's an even worse speaker than Pam Bondi.

Aww I disagree. She isn't pumped up with faux indignation. She isn't slurring. She isn't calling for Hillar's head on a plate. All she is asking for is for America's Space Program great again. Nothing wrong with that sentiment. Of course she is speaking to the wrong audience because they will never vote for funding, but that's not her fault.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


Totally: astronaut first one that wasn't plowed.
posted by Don Pepino at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016


What is happening, why is this lady speaking like a robot?
posted by Tarumba at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is this the part where they put random Trump employees on the stage while Donald Jr. selects a caviar and wine pairing?
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016


Is this the Tangy Tangerine lady?
posted by sporkwort at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016


It's a circus alright
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Is this story going to have any payoff, or....
posted by thefoxgod at 5:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


What is this even?
posted by vathek at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016


Wowzers, this is a no-kidding train wreck
posted by penduluum at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016


This sounds exactly like the kind of inspirational pitch that precedes a MLM vitamin scam.
posted by zachlipton at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


This is the most painful to watch thing I've ever seen. Does no one vet these speakers?
posted by chaoticgood at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is terrible. She has no idea what to do with her hands.
posted by mochapickle at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016


According to PBS, Collins' prepared remarks ended with "and that leader [to make America great again] is Donald Trump". Didn't hear that.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I can't believe this snake oil lady idiot is speaking on national television in prime time.
posted by schadenfrau at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Build a wall around the asteroid belt.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Its an infomercial now. Weeeeeeeeiiiirrrrd.
posted by petebest at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wow she is legit drunk.

HEY. You don't know me.

Seriously though I don't have the heart/stomach/cable to watch the RNC live so I really appreciate the play-by-play commentary.

(although live commenting on the curiosity rover on here was much more heartwarming...how is that little guy anyways).
posted by littlesq at 5:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Retire my husband"
posted by thefoxgod at 5:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


For people who aren't watching this person, I really don't have a way of contexualizing her spiel. It's just...weird. Even by the standards of all that has come before.

"Fail forward."

"Level up."

"I was able to retire my husband."

"He homeschools our children."

"I WILL NOT SUBJECT THEM TO COMMON CORE."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


Colonel Eileen Collins: "From the moment the first Pilgrims arrived on our shores, Americans have been asking 'What's next?'"

Because the pilgrims weren't Americans, she must be referring to the Native Americans. And, I'm pretty sure they asked WTF? before they asked, "What's next?"
posted by peeedro at 5:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Oh boy the Pyramid Scheme woman starts out with a story about making a circus in her own home. "And I recruited people to be in a circus and I charged our parents to see it. We had that circus for a year." Seriously?

And she is a pretty fucking terrible speaker for someone who supposedly has built an enormous pyramid-based business.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"I went to my high school reunion and realized I didn't look like Barbie and didn't drive a sports car, so obviously, I needed to change. Now I work to support my husband and keep my kids out of public schools."

Um. This is a good story?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Protecting her children from Common Core! Through entrepreneurship! With many facets!
posted by thefoxgod at 5:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I would not buy a time share from this woman. Can I have the free vacation vouchers now?
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Liberals will destroy your home based business!
posted by thefoxgod at 5:48 PM on July 20, 2016


"Excessive policies and eight years of liberals."

She was karate chopping while haltingly delivering that line.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:48 PM on July 20, 2016


"because of excessive policies and 8 years of liberals."

I am facepalming in ways I never dreamed I could.
posted by Grimp0teuthis at 5:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I really wish I had started at the beginning with her segment and transcribed the whole thing because it beggars fucking belief. Gonna have to roll back the livestream for this one.
posted by penduluum at 5:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Oh they love their Astronauts like they love their Vets-- ya know as long as it doesn't cost them anything and clapping doesn't cost a thing nor does cheering.

Surely a president who can Make America Great Again (whatever that means), stop terrorism, secure our borders, have all of our backs (whatever that means), and make other countries fall in line—purely by willing those things to happen—can make space stuff happen and protect veterans without having to y'know, pay for it.
posted by Rykey at 5:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Schools are bad. You might learn facts. This is why we hate big government.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"The American dream is being denigrated right now because of what is going on."

Yes, yes. Finally something we agree on.
posted by thefoxgod at 5:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Oh god Ralph Alvarado is next? He's from 30 miles from my hometown, this should be...insane.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2016


God damn it, you bastards have forced me to fire the RNC Twitch feed up again. And this is is, frankly, insane. Why is she doing the Tomahawk Chop repeatedly? Why is she drunk? What is her top, is that a gown or a jacket or what is up with the weird cut of her right sleeve and WHAT IS HAPPENING AMERICA
posted by Shepherd at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Does this woman have norovirus? She's given several "holy shit what is happening" looks in the last 30 minutes or so.

Also...THE ULTIMATE RINGMASTER!!! Seems about right for a circus peanut.
posted by mynameisluka at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2016


I think she plagiarized this speech from Sarah Palin.
posted by carrienation at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


As a feminist I know I shouldn't comment on what women wear but come on SHE SAYS SHE WORKS IN THE FASHION INDUSTRY.
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


I think my stream got crossed with that Bad Lip Reading stuff.
posted by petebest at 5:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Does the American Dream involve massive doses of Ativan in the drinking water? Counterpoint: Why not?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


This is sooooo fucking entertaining!!!!!
posted by OHenryPacey at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2016


I love that she just referred to Trump as the ultimate ringmaster.
posted by Rykey at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


THE ULTIMATE RINGMASTER.
I think we can wrap this up now...that can't be improved on.
posted by uosuaq at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Hey, don't drag bluegrass into this, asshole.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2016


I think that was probably the entertainment high point of the evening.
posted by thefoxgod at 5:51 PM on July 20, 2016


Her ...pauses...are all...wrong. And she st she stum she stumbles over her....phrases...all the ...time. 8 Years Of Liberals are killing the American Dream! There is only one man who can handle the Circus, there is only one man who can be ring master, there is only one man who looks just like a Circus Peanut....and that man is donaltrumppppp
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


By asshole, I mean Alvarado.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2016


According to PBS, Collins' prepared remarks ended with "and that leader [to make America great again] is Donald Trump". Didn't hear that.

She did not say that. Her remarks ended with "We need leadership that will make America's space program first again. And we need leadership that will make America Great again. I want to thank all of you, thank you for what you are doing. God Bless America."
posted by peeedro at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


And for the our next musical number: Prisencolinensinainciusol!
posted by The corpse in the library at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Is "Retire Your Husband" party platform now?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


A drunk woman, blending in the orange background, wearing a cape, just called Trump this circus' ringmaster.
posted by phphph at 5:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Her ...pauses...are all...wrong. And she st she stum she stumbles over her....phrases...all the ...time. 8 Years Of Liberals are killing the American Dream! There is only one man who can handle the Circus, there is only one man who can be ring master, there is only one man who looks just like a Circus Peanut....and that man is donaltrumppppp

If there is a bright spot in all of this, it will be the autotune of her speech.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Ralph has the most practiced hand gestures of any human I have ever seen, like "I practiced this speech 100 times in front of the mirror and every missed gesture gets the lash" kind of hand gestures.
posted by Shepherd at 5:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


can make space stuff happen and protect veterans without having to y'know, pay for it.

we will make the moon pay for it
posted by murphy slaw at 5:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [63 favorites]


Holy crap this teenager is the most mature person there
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Traditional Family Values" Drink!
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:53 PM on July 20, 2016


Ooh, I can believe that Prisencolinensinainciusol is the new Republican party theme song.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 5:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


WHAT!
SHE LEFT OUT THE ELEPHANTS
SHE HAD THE CIRCUS
SHE HAD THE RINGMASTER
I WAS WAITING FOR ELEPHANTS
WHAT KIND OF REPUBLICAN

*Opens bottle of bourbon*
posted by zennie at 5:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [34 favorites]


Looooot of dog whistles buried in this. And here comes the crazy.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:54 PM on July 20, 2016


Am I the only one who assumes that "Retire Your Husband" is a death sentence?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


wow...have they been directed to speak at a fourth grade level?

Yeah, Trump was called out by a 9 yo boy for talking at his peer's level.
posted by porpoise at 5:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


the autotune of her speech
O, please!
posted by Don Pepino at 5:55 PM on July 20, 2016


Okay props on that tie. That is a quality tie. The best, absolutely. Tremendous.
posted by petebest at 5:55 PM on July 20, 2016


Not one of those things he named was an actual scandal.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:55 PM on July 20, 2016


Yellow tie, though. I don't think he got the memo. In order to be a rising star you must wear a blue tie or a red tie or--best of all-- a red, white, and blue tie.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:56 PM on July 20, 2016


Ha ha! He's talkin' funny talk!
posted by petebest at 5:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


And then he compared Obama to South American dictators in Spanish.
posted by T.D. Strange at 5:57 PM on July 20, 2016


The Ringmaster!
posted by vrakatar at 5:57 PM on July 20, 2016


That kid they interviewed on MSNBC is the designated driver
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 5:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


He gave a little look up to the sky like "thank God that was well received" after the Spanish part.
posted by vathek at 5:58 PM on July 20, 2016


SHE LEFT OUT THE ELEPHANTS

Don Junior shot them all.
posted by holgate at 5:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]




Is that G.E. Smith leading the band?
posted by mochapickle at 5:58 PM on July 20, 2016


It's a hard thing to watch the RNC delegates dancing awkwardly and then realizing that's kind of how i dance.
posted by sporkwort at 5:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I wish they'd play Benny Hill instead.
posted by phphph at 5:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]




Is that G.E. Smith leading the band?

yes
posted by thelonius at 5:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Pointing his fingers at the camera: Hillary Clinton, you have failed our Latino community and you don't deserve our votes.

Maybe she doesn't eat Taco Bowls on Cinco de Mayo?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Was it my imagination, or did the circus speaker quote the plagiarized Michelle Obama line?
posted by zennie at 6:00 PM on July 20, 2016


Imagine being the homeschooled kid and living with that shit 24/7.
posted by Artw at 6:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


I'm going to venture a guess that Hispanic immigrants are going to see a lot more parallels between South American dictators and Trump than with Clinton.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This guy is a pastor? Is the IRS watching this?
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:02 PM on July 20, 2016


The off-kilterness of this guy's goatee thing is killing me.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


uh oh...darrell scott is an actual speaker. too bad his audience can't understand him
posted by OHenryPacey at 6:02 PM on July 20, 2016


"Many liberals are embarrassed to use this word [patriot]".

That's because of the ways you guys use it.
posted by uosuaq at 6:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


It strikes me that there have been nearly as many African American speakers at the RNC as there are black delegates.
posted by Justinian at 6:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Apparently they're not sharing the drugs backstage with the astronauts or the pastors.
posted by Don Pepino at 6:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This South American 100 per cent agrees with you, T. D. Strange
posted by Tarumba at 6:03 PM on July 20, 2016


OMG he just totally plagiarized the Declaration.
posted by uosuaq at 6:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


"The Art of the Deal is bringing people together to unify and get them from 'no' to 'yes.'"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:04 PM on July 20, 2016


Yes, G.E. is a cat and they gots bills.
posted by petebest at 6:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hillary Clinton, you have failed our Latino community and you don't deserve our votes.

Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Endorses Hillary Clinton at the RNC:
It's the first time the group has ever endorsed a candidate for president in the general election.
...
When asked why the group didn't support Trump even though he is a known businessman, [president and CEO Javier] Palomarez said Trump frequently filed for bankruptcy, something he said a president cannot do. He also criticized Trump's attitude toward women and minorities.
Hispanic Chamber of Commerce Trolls Donald Trump By Endorsing Hillary Clinton at GOP Convention:
“We believe it is appropriate for us to weigh in and say enough is enough,” Palomarez said, after criticizing “what we’re hearing from Donald Trump in his campaign: divisive, mean-spirited language [that] has marginalized Hispanics, immigrants, American POWs, Muslims, women, the disabled ― and the list goes on.”
posted by kirkaracha at 6:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


All of these speeches so far are remarkable in their complete lack of specifics about anything. It's all either Trump will win because winning, or because God made him so strong. Or something about vitamin water.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I have no problem believing that Trump will do everything in his power to make an America that we can all be proud of. Where I disagree with the speaker, is in thinking how much power Trump has to put toward that goal.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:05 PM on July 20, 2016


It strikes me that there have been nearly as many African American speakers at the RNC as there are black delegates.

It should be easy to count, there's only 18 black delegates.
posted by peeedro at 6:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wh -- none of this means anything. There is, like, nothing here. There is zero substance. NONE OF THIS MEANS ANYTHING. It's literally a guy just shouting stuff and a ton of old people in t-shirts going mental.
posted by Shepherd at 6:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Boy, Nathan Lane has aged terribly.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:06 PM on July 20, 2016


I'm continually struck by the fact that a lot of this country is way more impressed by somebody making business deals than I am. Making a business deal, if it's a good deal, largely seems like something you can only fuck up, not excel at.
posted by penduluum at 6:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Tonight's speakers are an emotional rollercoaster.
posted by sporkwort at 6:06 PM on July 20, 2016


He had to write down "we need energy abundance and energy independence?"
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:07 PM on July 20, 2016


My dang. Who is this lil wart?
posted by Don Pepino at 6:07 PM on July 20, 2016


This guy cannot enunciate for shit.
posted by defenestration at 6:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"He cn br a frn n brg mrca to grtnz unc gn" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF YOU ARE SO RICH BUY THIS MAN A VOWEL
posted by Shepherd at 6:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [36 favorites]


Current dude is Harold Hamm.

Just said: "Obama turned on Iranian oil, gave them the bomb..."

What?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:08 PM on July 20, 2016


Wh -- none of this means anything. There is, like, nothing here. There is zero substance. NONE OF THIS MEANS ANYTHING. It's literally a guy just shouting stuff and a ton of old people in t-shirts going mental.

Metafilter Fascist demagoguery: literally a guy just shouting stuff and a ton of old people in t-shirts going mental.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 6:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Crutal

(this is how he pronounced crude oil btw)
posted by defenestration at 6:08 PM on July 20, 2016


There is no one more earnest than earnest gray-goateed red-hatted guy.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:08 PM on July 20, 2016


He is crappin' you negative.
posted by petebest at 6:08 PM on July 20, 2016


Ah.

"Oll" is "oil."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


It strikes me that there have been nearly as many African American speakers at the RNC as there are black delegates.

Expect them to spin it in their favor.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016


Is he going to say drieel, drieel, drieel? PLEASE SAY IT.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016


I feel like the crowd doesn't know how to react to this guy because they literally cannot understand him.
posted by defenestration at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This is the great fracker, Harold Hamm: Trump considering top fracking mogul Harold Hamm as energy secretary
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I love that Collins told them she would endorse Trump and then was just like "space is awesome"
posted by corb at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [35 favorites]


Also, this is clearly the first time this man has spoken in public. He keeps getting sidetracked by positive attention.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016


I do not like Harold Hamm.
posted by sporkwort at 6:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


"Every time we can't drill a well in America, terrorism is being funded."

And then he said Orlando was caused by this.

wut?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


LOL at the current Jeb! inspired headline on the NYT website:

Donald Trump’s Convention Is a Low-Energy Show So Far
posted by mostly vowels at 6:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's not an open bar backstage, it's a gas leak or something. Maybe they're just filling shot glasses with Novocaine. Maybe there's a really low beam in the wings and everybody is concussing themselves on the way to the microphone.
posted by penduluum at 6:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


This guy with his authentic frontier gibberish, wow.
posted by peeedro at 6:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Orlando had zero to do with "islamic terrorism."
posted by mochapickle at 6:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Uh, what now? A truck, a cosigned note, and a phone?!?
posted by OmieWise at 6:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"I left home at 20 with nothing but a truck, a co-signed loan and a phone..."

Dayamn, I wish I could give my kids a truck, a loan, and a phone to set off on their "self-built" careers.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


Donald Trump understands how to make it in small town America? What?
posted by bluecore at 6:11 PM on July 20, 2016


PICKING COTTON WITH BARE FEET
posted by mynameisluka at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016


Oh shit. Here comes Scott Walker. But he's running.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016


Oil guy 9/11 Islamic well regulation 'Merican lives risk cocaine 'Merica Christmas feed our family dreams struck out on our own thank God 'Merica. God.

Got it. The secret is to set the volume to just-barely-audible.
posted by petebest at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Oh fuck, there is not enough anything in the world to make me not hurl right now
posted by mynameisluka at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016


Ah.
"Oll" is "oil."


Fun fact! Find a Texan and say to them "do you need to all an arn?" and they will say "no, why would you do that?"
posted by soylent00FF00 at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"You have a choice, and you deserve better." Never thought I'd agree with Scott Walker, but....
posted by carrienation at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Walker: "You deserve better!" We know Scott, we know.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


So has no one noted Ingraham's Nazi salute or did I just miss it?
posted by waitingtoderail at 6:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Back to the parade of punchable faces.
posted by chaoticgood at 6:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


All right, so this is my first night actually watching, and not just reading the commentary here. This straight up feels like a simulacrum of a convention. I definitely get a gas leak vibe, too, penduluum.
posted by defenestration at 6:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Scott Walker comes pre-drunk, so
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 6:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Twitch commentary: This game looks fun where can I buy RNC 2016?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


MSNBC keeps cutting away from the truly batshit speakers to interview professional tv republicans, and the effect is like...PG-ifying the crazy

No

Show us the full crazy

Let us all know exactly how badly America is getting fucked
posted by schadenfrau at 6:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


It's not an open bar backstage, it's a gas leak or something. Maybe they're just filling shot glasses with Novocaine. Maybe there's a really low beam in the wings and everybody is concussing themselves on the way to the microphone.

I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Why?
posted by OmieWise at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016


If you say "radical Islamic terrorism" three times in a dark bathroom, Osama Bin Laden will jump out of the mirror and get you.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Glad I had a hankerin' for word salad tonight.
posted by wallabear at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


I picked the wrong day to test my Bluetooth headphones with the days long battery...
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016


So has no one noted Ingraham's Nazi salute or did I just miss it?

Honestly, I was willing to assume I just caught it out of the corner of my eye because that definitely happened.
posted by penduluum at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016


I WAS WAITING FOR ELEPHANTS

Elephant thread.
posted by homunculus at 6:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


This is like an episode of Teletubbies—everything is repeated at least 100 times for the preschoolers
posted by mynameisluka at 6:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


So has no one noted Ingraham's Nazi salute

Tsk. That's a sheriff's wave.
posted by holgate at 6:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [41 favorites]


This call and response shit is so hacky.
posted by defenestration at 6:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


ooh nice; he's found a chorus and the crowd can follow along!
"Why? Because America deserves better!" and hey, you don't have to follow anything he says to be able to go along with that!
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:15 PM on July 20, 2016


these people are not good at call-and-response
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hey howabout a big hand for our veterans, hah? Yeah! Great stuff.
posted by petebest at 6:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hey, Walker gets bonus points for acknowledging there's a VP involved in this fiasco.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:16 PM on July 20, 2016


Ugh I can't stand it when people just yell and speak slowly and think that is effective oratory.
posted by gatorae at 6:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




"If she (Hillary) was anymore on the inside she would be in prison.

Boy that perked the crowd right up.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:17 PM on July 20, 2016


Wow, an Apple product placement. Nicely played, Tim.
posted by OmieWise at 6:18 PM on July 20, 2016


Aw come on Scott, now I'm going to spend the whole rest of the night just fantasizing about controlling the Supreme Court for the next 30 years.
posted by penduluum at 6:18 PM on July 20, 2016


Elephant thread.

:'[
posted by zennie at 6:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


These audience chants are like a RONCO Infomercial.
posted by lampshade at 6:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oops, no one cheered for Wisconsin.
posted by OmieWise at 6:19 PM on July 20, 2016


Republican leadership works huh? I see you didn't list Kansas.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Scott Walker leads the crowd in a "Radical! Islamic! Terrorism!" like Ron Popeil doing Set It! And! Forget It!"

RONCO
posted by defenestration at 6:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


So has no one noted Ingraham's Nazi salute

Hail Hydra.
posted by homunculus at 6:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Scott Walker's never met Charlie Baker, I take it.
posted by adamg at 6:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure they give you the mic so you don't have to yell all night. It, like, yells for you. They can hear if you just talk normal.
posted by petebest at 6:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Thanks, Scott Walker. I forgot how angry I was about that, but now I remember!
posted by zennie at 6:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


This guy is a pastor? Is the IRS watching this?

Pastors, speaking on their own behalf, can say anything they want; it's when they communicate as a church leader in ecclesiastical contexts that they must refrain from endorsing candidates. It's the church as an organization that has constraints.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Give details? And risk someone from the other side stealing them? No, no, they'll wait til, wait, there's an election in 2 years for mid terms? huh, well never then
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 6:20 PM on July 20, 2016


Yelly McYellerson: "It's not too late for Wisconsin."

Well, let's hope so, bub.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Walker does have a better grasp of speechifying than any of the other white people we've seen. It's too bad his audience doesn't know how to do their part. Poor things; nobody handed them the script.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:21 PM on July 20, 2016


Republican leadership doesn't work in Wisconsin either unless there is some other state with that name distinct from the one I'm living in.

I was experiencing blinding rage before he started talking about how the protesters in 2011 tried to "intimidate" them "with threats and mobs" and now I am basically lighting the TV on fire with my eyes.
posted by gerstle at 6:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Ronald Reagan nominated Scalia 30 years ago and we cannot cede the Supreme Court to the liberals for 30 years.

Wait, wut? So the conservatives had the majority for 30 years and they think that is written in stone?

OK now he says Wisconsin was tired of rising college tuition so they took the government away from special interest and gave it back to the tax payers. How does rising college tuition tie into special interests?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:21 PM on July 20, 2016


Please affirm and share my absolute loathing of Scott Walker. Bad as Trump is, one part of me delights that it is at least not the Koch Bros' lap boy. His ewww factor is off the charts.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


I wonder why the singer couldn't get whoever dressed his upper body to also dress his lower body
posted by penduluum at 6:22 PM on July 20, 2016


This SNL sketch is really, really long.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [31 favorites]


Eric Trump getting the same billing as Pence, that's fantastic.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I hope Walker is angry and sad and frustrated about having to play hype man for Trump. Fuck that guy.
posted by defenestration at 6:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Walker does have a better grasp of speechifying than any of the other white people we've seen.

Yeah, I have to say that while he is a walking garbage pile, he is speaking in coherent sentences and seems to sort of grasp some of the basic tenets of small-government conservatism and WHY IS THAT NOW THE STANDARD FOR 'EXCELLENT' IN A NATIONAL CONVENTION FOR ONE OF ONLY TWO POLITICAL PARTIES
posted by Shepherd at 6:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Walker was the candidate I was most worried about, and when Trump started winning the polls, I was thrilled.

Walker actually knows how politics works. Trump thinks he's running for emperor and has no idea how to get cooperation from any of the other portions of government a president has to work with.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


It matters not how lame and crazy this shit is. The people they are speaking to are also lame and crazy. It only matters if the press decides to openly make the point how lame and crazy it all is. But they don't - not in sufficiant numbers with sufficiant conviction. The general public will hear about energy and whether the convention was divided. They won't hear that the energy was manic and the convention wasn't divided because the sane people were driven out in shame.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 6:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


I also like how they have former presidential candidates sandwiched between random employees of tertiary Trump businesses.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Lynne Patton, vice president of the Eric Trump Foundation and assistant to Eric, Ivanka, and Donald Trump Jr.

Rest assured I am an intelligent woman.... well that's one way to start a speech.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


This video is making me feel uncomfortable. Like what the fuck even is this?
posted by defenestration at 6:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I don't even know anymore. These people want to fuck the poor, fuck minorities, fuck the working class, do it with a shit eating grin, and tell them it's good for them.

I don't know how much longer I can stand it.
posted by Talez at 6:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]




I like the wedding-style slide show. It's classy without being overbearing.
posted by OmieWise at 6:26 PM on July 20, 2016


The montage says corporate charity promo video, but her tone says Sarah McLachlan needs you to adopt this puppy in the next 48 hours
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


ITS POTENTIAL VIRAL RAMIFICATIONS
posted by mynameisluka at 6:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I mean, everyone loves it at weddings and birthdays. Why not the nominating convention for the Republican Party?
posted by OmieWise at 6:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


random employees of tertiary Trump businesses

Hey, those are multilevel marketing job creators! That's the core of Trump's job creation plan. Everyone a Trump steak & water vendor.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:27 PM on July 20, 2016


You're right, all Trump businesses are tertiary.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:28 PM on July 20, 2016


The lady doth protest too much, methinks
posted by noneuclidean at 6:28 PM on July 20, 2016


And for the our next musical number: Prisencolinensinainciusol!

It would be very appropriate. "What you are watching SOUNDS like American politics but is actually just gibberish."

AWL RITE
posted by delfin at 6:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Well after Lynn it's all heavy hitters from here on in: Rubio, Cruz, Eric Trump, the Gingriches and then Pence.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:30 PM on July 20, 2016


Hahahaha guys David Brooks is doing commentary for PBS he looks and talks like a man being forced to watch his wife go on a date with Conan the Barbarian you gotta check it out.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Lynne Patton: "[Donald Trump] knows that LGBTQ lives matter..."

[boos from the crowd]
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Eyes! My eyes like stinging!
posted by vrakatar at 6:30 PM on July 20, 2016


Another drunk speaker, and she called him Trunk. What a Trumpulous slip of the trongue.
posted by phphph at 6:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


This is fucking grotesque. This is utterly fucking grotesque.
posted by Talez at 6:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


David Brooks is doing commentary for PBS

oh boy oh boy oh boy
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Walker and Cruz didn't even make the primetime hour, network coverage doesnt start till 10. Eric Trump is over both of them
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Marco Rubio now speaking via pre-recorded video here?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:32 PM on July 20, 2016


Praying that Rubio forgot his water bottles tonight.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


RUBIO WHY
posted by corb at 6:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


She also said Trump was the Law and Order Needer. Love all of this.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"He has raised the best young adults I've ever known."

Hmm has anyone mentioned to her that Trump insists the mothers do all of the work raising the kids? And that Tiffany was raised in California?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Everyone sounds drunk. Even in these prerecorded videos. Did everyone get the note "don't speak good"?
posted by defenestration at 6:32 PM on July 20, 2016


oooooh yes here we go
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016


Aaaaaaaaaaaand he's going for the water!! HE'S . . Oh no wait it was just a pause. It didn't refresh.
posted by petebest at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Buckle up, people.
posted by uosuaq at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016


Well that was mercifully brief. "More of a Post-It note", says Rachel M.
posted by wallabear at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016


Did Cruz leave his glistening eggs unattended to speak tonight?
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ted Cruz practicing for what he thinks is 2020...
posted by Talez at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016


If Rubio can do a video like that, why not Sarah Palin? Don't they have video cameras in Alaska, or is that too far, too?
posted by gatorae at 6:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


"Unlike Hillary he is committed to appointing the most constitutional judges possible.."

Boy the word "Constitutional" is surprisingly flexible.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


FWIW "Zodiac Killer" is now about 90% of the Twitch comment stream.
posted by Shepherd at 6:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Silent film villain in full effect.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:34 PM on July 20, 2016


Oooo Cruz is getting a standing ovation.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


How do you wa-led something
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 6:34 PM on July 20, 2016


Humans like sports, I think I'll make a sports reference to trick them.
posted by gatorae at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


CLINTON/VRAK 2016 WE USE SENTENCES
posted by vrakatar at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016


so i'm sure (hoping?) i'm missing some context here, but is laura throwing the nazi salute here?
posted by murphy slaw at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016


He is "congratulating" but is he endorsing?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016


Is Cruz's lower jaw about to become unhinged?
posted by mollweide at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Goddamn do they love Ted Cruz
posted by sporkwort at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016


God, is he smarmy.
posted by waitingtoderail at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


If Rubio can do a video like that, why not Sarah Palin? Don't they have video cameras in Alaska, or is that too far, too?

Shit, Fox built her a mini recording studio for her house when she was happening.
posted by bluecore at 6:35 PM on July 20, 2016


The corpse in the library: And for the our next musical number: Prisencolinensinainciusol!

I am ridiculously far behind (because life), but I don't care because this merits repetition. A nonsense song that pretends to be real, while also about the failure to communicate, is so very perfect for this convention.
posted by Superplin at 6:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Not enough Seuss.
posted by petebest at 6:36 PM on July 20, 2016


I can't wait until Sarah Palin turns on him. Right now she still wants in, but when he loses?
She was made for this shitshow and she knows it.
posted by readery at 6:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is Cruz's lower jaw about to become unhinged?

If you can think of a better way to swallow a live guinea pig whole, I'd like to hear it.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [51 favorites]


The audience seems confused.
posted by wallabear at 6:37 PM on July 20, 2016


Cruz still thinks that he'll have power in the wake of a Trump victory, as opposed to being told to confirm little Barron Trump for the Supreme Court.
posted by holgate at 6:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Maybe this is your last moment" really doesn't seem like a great selling point for this crowd. More like a justification to bail and vote Clinton.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Let's do our best to scare the shit out of Americans so they vote for us."
posted by zarq at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Dammit, Ted, the protesters were not mocking cops--they were asking cops to stop killing black men. Nothing mocking about that.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


Mr. Munster has a sad.
posted by petebest at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


USA! USA!

Haven't heard that one in a while. I'm getting all nostalgic.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2016


Cruz: So as her father was about to leave for work he asked Caroline for the very first time "What would you do if I never came home?" And then he was gunned down in cold blood.

Boy that sounds like a likely story doesn't it?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


"We have no dictator."

...yet.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:40 PM on July 20, 2016


Cruz: "The most powerful words in the English language: I want to be free."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:40 PM on July 20, 2016


"We have no dictator." Famous last words, Ted
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


A little buyers' remorse? Cruz is a crowd pleaser.
posted by madamjujujive at 6:41 PM on July 20, 2016






Ted Cruz, who said those five words? Asking for a friend.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 6:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wow, an Apple product placement. Nicely played, Tim.

Apple is nowhere near the RNC, which has been a departure from their usual bipartisan efforts.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Cruz keeps pausing at predetermined spots in his speech for applause and cheers.... and then the audience goes why is he stopping? oh, are we supposed to cheer? okay...
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 6:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Republican party shits all over the floor for a decade. "We are living in a time where the ground is covered in shit. We deserve better."
posted by defenestration at 6:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


Is this whole theme of everyone's speech "we have to do better?" Do they know who their candidate is?
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:42 PM on July 20, 2016


"Theirs is the party that think ISIS is a JV team."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Cruz: "The most powerful words in the English language: I want to be free."

Yeah he talked a lot about how great and precious freedom is for a guy who wants to control women's bodies and LGBT's love lives.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


"This is madness."

Indeed.
posted by homunculus at 6:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Fear the other. Don't look behind the curtain. Fear the other. Distrust the other. Kill the other.
posted by Talez at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


who said those five words

The Ohio Players?
posted by waitingtoderail at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Asking for a friend.

Queen.
posted by wallabear at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Cruz's prepared remarks do not mention Trump's name.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


Cruz: "We the people constrain government."

My wife, yelling at the tv: "SO STAY OUT OF MY UTERUS!"

Cruz: "Five words: I want to be free...."

"SO DOES MY UTERUS!"

:D
posted by zarq at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [58 favorites]


Your freedom to force everyone you encounter to abide by your Christian values!
posted by gatorae at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


The smarmy faux concern of Cruz is what makes him truly chilling to me. He's always wringing his hands and looking alarmed and it's just grotesque.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Conspicuously absent: "... as rich as Donald Trump."
posted by madamjujujive at 6:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Death to America Day: mostly false.
posted by peeedro at 6:44 PM on July 20, 2016


guys the internet is gonna be given away to Russia and China
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 6:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Giving the internet away to Russia and China? Is that a contended issue?
posted by penduluum at 6:44 PM on July 20, 2016


Wait, someone's giving the internet away?
posted by mynameisluka at 6:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


(Obama) is a guy who exports jobs and imports terrorists.

Gee thanks, Obama! It sucks that you decided to send all of our jobs to other countries and you invited the terrorists to drop by and bomb us.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:44 PM on July 20, 2016


Watch out Ted has a gun
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Are we at all certain this isn't his nomination acceptance speech?
posted by wallabear at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies - to be met not with cooperation but with conquest, to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community, men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear - only a common desire to retreat from each other - only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is now what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of human purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of all. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.
-- Robert F. Kennedy.
posted by Talez at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [69 favorites]


Ted Cruz remains every Looney Tunes villain smushed into one person.
posted by holgate at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


The faux inclusiveness of oppressed groups in these speeches is beyond the fucking pale.
posted by defenestration at 6:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


Giving the internet away to Russia and China? Is that a contended issue?

I assume he's talking about US control of ICANN
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Freedom means free speech, not politically correct safe spaces."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:46 PM on July 20, 2016


Hooray for fear!
posted by petebest at 6:46 PM on July 20, 2016


"NOWHERE IN THE CONSTITUTION DOES IT SAY YOU CAN TOUCH ANYONE'S UTERUS YOU SMARMY MOTHERFUCKER"
posted by zarq at 6:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


These fucking booing knuckleheads.
posted by defenestration at 6:47 PM on July 20, 2016


Are they really cheering for Brexit?
posted by mochapickle at 6:47 PM on July 20, 2016


cheers for brexit! from a group of people who probably have no idea who the PM is
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


brexit barf
posted by lalochezia at 6:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hey, guys, Hillary is going to tell me who to marry. I wonder what my wife will say about that.
posted by mollweide at 6:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Nominating Donald Trump would be a train wreck. It would be handing the White House over to Hillary Clinton. #GOPTownHall
--@tedcruz
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


"A government that that yes, builds a wall to keep America safe."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:48 PM on July 20, 2016


ooh I saw two black people in the crowd

it's real life where's waldo
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Uh oh. Cruz is demanding a WALL
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:49 PM on July 20, 2016


They're cheering the wall.

Now we get to hear about the virtues of Freedom.
posted by zarq at 6:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This guy is gross
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 6:49 PM on July 20, 2016


Are they really cheering for Brexit?

FUCK YOU,

Signed everyone interested in there being a functioning UK economy
posted by Artw at 6:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


well at least they are still in favor of the emancipation proclamation
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:50 PM on July 20, 2016


Republicans passed the civil rights act?
posted by gaspode at 6:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


This guy is gross

He was the NeverTrump back up plan.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Did he just say they fought to take down Jim Crow laws?!?
posted by Talez at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


The faux inclusiveness of oppressed groups in these speeches is not beyond the fucking pale white people.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016


WOW. Jim Crow, Civil Rights Act, fighting slavery and Emancipation Proclamation as the Republicans' collective legacy. "Although the media will never share it."
posted by mynameisluka at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


The Emancipation Proclamation was an executive order dude.
posted by peeedro at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"Together we fought to pass the Civil Rights Act."

Um, no.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [33 favorites]


I'm not much of a twitter user, but searching tells me I'm not the only one that thinks a good amount of the speakers have been drunk.
posted by bongo_x at 6:51 PM on July 20, 2016


"Together we fought to pass the Civil Rights Act."
posted by mynameisluka at 6:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


FREEDOM (from safety nets) will lift us out of poverty and into the dignity of work! Work or die, motherfuckers, work or die, the song of the American freedom lover..
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:52 PM on July 20, 2016


Cruz dancing around the Southern Strategy by claiming the Republicans were an integral part of passing civil rights legislation is like the "Flick? Flick who?" part of the Christmas Story movie.
posted by mostly vowels at 6:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


He said the magic words "radical Islamic terrorism." Our enemies just lost 15 HP with no chance to counter!
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


The 50s and 60s were a different world - there were actual liberal Republicans. They were all driven out of the party after Nixon, though.
posted by adamg at 6:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Republicans passed the civil rights act?

The first one.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016


Are they booing Cruz because he hasn't endorsed or.... what's the deal?
posted by mostly vowels at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I hate him but he's making a really great acceptance speech.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


work, freedom, work, freedom... where do I know that from
posted by tivalasvegas at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"Vote your conscience."
posted by sporkwort at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


What the fuck is this going to be a riot.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


What was the group in the crowd in cowboy hats that was refusing to cheer?
posted by bluecore at 6:53 PM on July 20, 2016


Ha! Vote your conscience.
posted by gaspode at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Has he said Trump's name yet? This is awesome.
posted by gaspode at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Something bad should happen to this man for evoking the AME Church.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"This is madness."

"MADNESS? THIS! IS! CLEVELAND!"
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


It's like he doesn't know the parties switched.
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Slimy Ted slimes his way out of an endorsement telling people to vote their conscious up and down the ticket. The crowd responds by chanting "We want Trump."

Oh jesus he isn't done yet.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


This is creepy AF how the crowd is turning on him. And I can't stand Cruz.
posted by mostly vowels at 6:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Hahahah the New York delegation is heckling this nearly Real Boy POS
posted by schadenfrau at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016


Are they booing Cruz because he hasn't endorsed or.... what's the deal?

He mentioned Alton Sterling.
posted by waitingtoderail at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016


No mention of Trump yet.
posted by wallabear at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016


"Vote your conscience" Ted says. That's as close to an endorsement as we're going to get. This is crazy. Everyone is shouting Trump over his speech.
posted by zachlipton at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


$8 to Hillary on the back of this speech.
posted by Talez at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


The crowd is making a noise like a dying vulture. Is he eulogizing the GOP?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


To be honest, except for about 10 glaring misrepresentations, this is the best Cruz speech I could hope for.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Man the crowd has turned on him.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:55 PM on July 20, 2016


I'll give him one thing—the man has balls.
posted by mynameisluka at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


This really is an acceptance speech, so he can just play a tape of it in 2020.
posted by holgate at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


It's like he doesn't know the parties switched.

Democrats are the party of the KKK doncha know?
posted by Talez at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


The 50s and 60s were a different world - there were actual liberal Republicans. They were all driven out of the party after Nixon, though.

These people drove out Orrin Hatch for being a pinko
posted by thelonius at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Chants of En-dorse-Trump
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Donald Jr looks pissed!
posted by wallabear at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'm...not familiar with the type of thing I'm seeing.
posted by Drinky Die at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


LoL
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016


omg he is STILL TALKING. I left the room to get a snack and got sidetracked into planning shopping and then had to chat about my husband's trip to help a friend move today and I thought I would've missed three speakers. Nope. Wow.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Booing the shit out of him. The one redeeming part of the RNC.
posted by Talez at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016


the fuck did i just watch?
posted by sporkwort at 6:56 PM on July 20, 2016


Hahaha, it's almost like if you attack a guy's wife and say his dad helped kill Kennedy he won't be gung-ho to endorse you.
posted by Justinian at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [113 favorites]


That. Was. Amazing.
posted by gaspode at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


It would have been a good speech if he had wrapped it up about 3 minutes ago but he just keeps dribbling on about FREEDOM
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trump is about to hit him with a chair.
posted by Drinky Die at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I think Trump was on the convention floor while Ted was talking.
posted by peeedro at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump coming out of the crowd! Like HHH, he's going to make Cruz say his name!
posted by T.D. Strange at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


work, freedom, work, freedom... where do I know that from

Michelle Obama?
posted by futz at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Man, they booed him viciously.
posted by zarq at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016


And of course Trump photo bombs his own event.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


they took the camera off of him
posted by OHenryPacey at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016


ARE THEY GOING TO WRESTLE
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wow, Trump just totally upstaged him.
posted by chaoticgood at 6:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trump: I'll just take that thunder, thaaaaank you! You've been great, Cruz. Hasn't he been great? Great, great job. Very good speech.
posted by zennie at 6:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"When I look at my father's eyes, in the way that only a son can"...

I hope Eric Trump hasn't been reading the same Malfoycest slash that I have.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 6:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


Oh good, I wasn't sure if Trump's children were gonna endorse him. Phew.
posted by defenestration at 6:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


BAH GAWD THAT'S DONNIE'S MUSIC
posted by penduluum at 6:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




Cruz is wrong about everything, radical, and dangerous. But unlike Trump he actually believes stuff, and I do appreciate that.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 6:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Yay malfoycest
posted by Tarumba at 6:59 PM on July 20, 2016


So, that was just before the network hour, which begins with Vampire von Habsburg-Trump.
posted by holgate at 6:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Well, I bet corb was happy with his speech anyway.
posted by Drinky Die at 6:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh fuck. For a second I thought that was Dave Grohl on stage.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2016


haha the MSNBC people pointed out that Trump inadvertently entered the room to a hail of boos
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


heh....I am so glad he never said the words.

the fallout from this will be political comedy gold.
posted by lampshade at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


The sad thing is that it ruins the possibility of Ivanka Trump as a future possible Democratic presidential nomination.
posted by Talez at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2016


Wow, this crowd really doesn't know how to call and response. At all.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"when we are old and grey we can look back at the time i didn't endorse the nominee at his own convention......and laaaaaaaarrrrff"
posted by lalochezia at 7:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


He wants to Fix America. He wants to fix the military. He wants to fix education....

And yet according to Paul Manafort Trump doesn't want to be bothered with domestic or foreign policy. Maybe his idea of "fixing" is to criticize and then demand that it be better without actually proposing how that be achieved.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trump's entrance tonight was good, showing up in the crowd like that with the booing going on, but last night was better. Must be the music.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:02 PM on July 20, 2016


This guy is horrible at the harmonica.
posted by peeedro at 7:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Laura Ingraham was a college classmate. Freshman fall, she and Dinesh D'Souza published a hateful anti-Black "satire" in the Dartmouth Review, the campus wingnut rag. Written in Ebonics. She may claim legitimacy based on her conservative bona fides, but as anyone who read that article knows, it's never been about conservatism so much as trolling for her. Really, might as well have Milo on stage at your national convention.
posted by Lyme Drop at 7:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


Is something going on with the sound and digital displays in he arena?
posted by noneuclidean at 7:03 PM on July 20, 2016


Make America work again? They can't even make their screens work!
posted by Talez at 7:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


wow. so father. very scion
posted by theodolite at 7:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


So is Melania not there at all?
posted by zachlipton at 7:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trump skipped Tiffany's speech but snuck in for Eric's. That's not terrible.
posted by zutalors! at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Trump JR looks like Tyrell from Mr Robot....creepy
posted by OHenryPacey at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Eric Trump: Our father sat us down and told us it was time...

Roommate: FOR YOU TO LIP SYNC FOR YOUR LIVES
posted by Torosaurus at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


Eric Trump reminds me too much of Julie Brown. "I want to say that being chosen as this month's Miss August is, like, an honor I'll remember for as long as I can."
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


He started a movement alright. I hear that norovirus is very bad.
posted by gatorae at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


They can't even make their screens work!

it's glitches in the Matrix of their weird little swampworld
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Cruz is wrong about everything, radical, and dangerous. But unlike Trump he actually believes stuff, and I do appreciate that.

Tenets, national socialism, ethos, etc.
posted by J.K. Seazer at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


BUILD THE VIDEO WALL!
posted by peeedro at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


An astronaut spoke at the RNC and skipped the Trump endorsement that she was supposed to make

RNC live: Trump rival Cruz stops short of endorsement

Well you can't win them all. But it looks like Eric is going to endorse him. How rock solid are the Gingriches? Can he rely on Pence, do you think?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Cruz just ruined Trump's convention, gave evangelicals an out, and might just prove to Donald that there is such a thing as bad press.
posted by vrakatar at 7:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [42 favorites]


Also like if Barron Trump gives a speech I'll give him a pass but I'm really sick of all the commentators being all "good job kiddoes" for the 22-38 year old Trumps.
posted by zutalors! at 7:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Eric Trump, Millennial Extraordinaire
posted by mynameisluka at 7:06 PM on July 20, 2016


No no Cruz isn't Man in the High Castle he is Handmaid's Tale

get yer dystopias right
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


"My Father" is a particularly weird invocation these days.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Hey the crowd didn't cheer for "radical Islamist terrorists" that time. What happened?
posted by defenestration at 7:07 PM on July 20, 2016


Guys I don't like Cruz but that was a really good speech. Emotionally centered, broad minded, full of appeals to centrist voters. Plenty of conservative talking points but giving them as much of a Romneyian polish as possible. And he even gave an unimpeachable call for evangelicals who love him to vote for Trump anyway. But the crazy people screamed at him and he got stepped on by the orange man. Pretty impressive imo.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Notice they're not breaking from the 3/4 shot of Eric Trump while they're on him?

They're not showing any more broken screens than they have to. But they're still flickering in the background.
posted by Talez at 7:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


He's so full of shit he started laughing.
posted by defenestration at 7:07 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump made debates into reality TV and hates the War on Christmas. Good talking points.
posted by dhens at 7:07 PM on July 20, 2016


He can't keep a straight face saying Trump stands for quality, lol.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Talez: It's like he doesn't know the parties switched.

I love the fact that there are Southern Strategy truthers, despite the fact that the chairman of the RNC apologized for it over a decade ago.
posted by brundlefly at 7:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Railing against political correctness is what gets this crowd riled up

I just...these are not...like this is the bottom half of some bell curve at work, right?
posted by schadenfrau at 7:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


And he even gave an unimpeachable call for evangelicals who love him to vote for Trump anyway.

Are you talking about "vote your conscience"? I interpreted that differently...as in "don't feel you have to vote for the orange moron."
posted by sallybrown at 7:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [57 favorites]


Guys I don't like Cruz but that was a really good speech. Emotionally centered, broad minded, full of appeals to centrist voters.

He knows how to play the game. Trump loses, GOP can say "we need to return to our conservative roots in 2020" and there's "Suddenly Reasonable-Sounding Ted" waiting there with his creepy smile and supremely punchable face.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


It's ambiguous, part of why it was so brilliant.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


The look on Trump's face is "*squint* Is this my platform? Whatevs, who even cares about things like platforms. *squint* Get off the stage you little shit, you're stealing my limelight. *squint* God this is boring, can we get back in the plane yet? Maybe I'll just start tweeting...."
posted by gatorae at 7:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I got stuck on Donald's "courageous" decision to run for President. As Trump is a narcissist I'm pretty sure it was an easy decision. He just looked in the mirror and imagined everyone finally giving him the deference he is due.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


YAY BUDGETS
posted by mynameisluka at 7:10 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump fixed an ice skating rink so he's qualified to fix the country?
posted by zachlipton at 7:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


It doesn't matter if Ted Cruz unbinds evangelicals from voting for Trump. It wouldn't matter if God did. They're going to vote for him anyway. It's what they do.
posted by argybarg at 7:10 PM on July 20, 2016


Make America great again ahead of budget? Did he just endorse tax increases?
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Make America Great Agaihehe

This guy cannot say this shit with a straight face!
posted by defenestration at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016


As a millennial, Eric should have skipped the "signs the front, not the back of checks" crack because no one even uses checks anymore.
posted by zutalors! at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Did people not see Teddy's speech on msnbc or cnn? I'm still on PBS
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016


"It's time for a president who has always signed the front of the check, not the back."

Because no one has ever bought anything from Trump? No one ever compensated him? I thought the point of business was to take money from other people. Weird.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


"Vote your conscience" Ted says. That's as close to an endorsement as we're going to get. This is crazy.

Well, Trump wouldn't want his nomination sullied by an endorsement from someone foreign-born, would he?
posted by nubs at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I wonder if Ted & Kendal had a little meeting beforehand...
posted by wallabear at 7:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Trump signs the front and back of the check.
posted by defenestration at 7:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]




Trump fixed an ice skating rink so he's qualified to fix the country?

If Ben Wyatt can bankrupt a town by an ice skating rink and go on to become a House member then surely fixing an ice skating rink should get you to Senator or better.
posted by Talez at 7:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


*I* see little cartoon dollar signs in his eyes....
posted by PorcineWithMe at 7:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


It doesn't matter if Ted Cruz unbinds evangelicals from voting for Trump. It wouldn't matter if God did. They're going to vote for him anyway. It's what they do.

?? Say what? No they will just not vote.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




love the fact that there are Southern Strategy truthers

I don't. The white nationalists have managed to erase the history of racial violence in this country so badly that I don't think the end of Reconstruction is taught in schools to this day. That millions of internally displaced persons fleeing repressive regimes were quarantined in Northern slums and forgotten.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


"As I travel the world building golf courses with my dad..." Relatable!
posted by lalex at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]




Trump fixed an ice skating rink so he's qualified to fix the country?

MAKE AMERICA SKATE AGAIN
posted by oulipian at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


Is anyone else hoping Ted Cruz gets WWE-style chants of "You screwed Trump!" at every appearance for the rest of his life?
posted by scaryblackdeath at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


The sweaty face of a misogynist's son who's always been overshadowed by his older sister.
posted by sallybrown at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Eric sees a lot of weird shit in his father's eyes: trade deficits, poor education, immigrants in sanctuary cities.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]



Because no one has ever bought anything from Trump? No one ever compensated him? I thought the point of business was to take money from other people. Weird.


It's a really outdated saying about who has power.
posted by zutalors! at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Legitimately proud of Cruz right now. I want to thank him. Does he support any nonprofits that aren't shitty?
posted by roll truck roll at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


OH GOD HE IS QUOTING MLK

OH GOD
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


No wonder he comes in under budget. He stiffs all the workers and vendors. Or wheedles them down to pennies.
posted by madamjujujive at 7:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


OH GOD HE IS QUOTING MLK

OH GOD


ABT. Always. Be. Trollin'.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"I left home at 20 with nothing but a truck, a co-signed loan and a phone..."


Harold Hamm was 20 in 1966. What sort of phone did they give him when he left home?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


Say "My Father" one more time.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


As a millennial, Eric should have skipped the "signs the front, not the back of checks" crack because no one even uses checks anymore.

Yeah, but the bigger issue is that people don't actually, as a rule, like their bosses. How is this a plus for voters?
posted by zachlipton at 7:15 PM on July 20, 2016


Eric Trump cares about guns at school? lol
posted by dhens at 7:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


IDEA: a movie with just bad guys they fight each other and they all lose.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


"There is no more selfless calling then to run for President"

And yet I can't help feel that he would not say that about Clinton.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


"My father is running for you."

And you better run, too, or he might just get you!
posted by defenestration at 7:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


To the unemployed person at home...
To the schoolteacher....
To the oil and gas worker denied a job....
To single mothers....

My father is gunning for you.
posted by zarq at 7:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Shit, I think this guy might end up in Congress. Shit shit shit.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]






Wow that is some spicy bullshit right there. The Mr. Robot guy says there is no more selfless act than running for king. Yowza.
posted by petebest at 7:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


What sort of phone did they give him when he left home?

pay phone.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 7:16 PM on July 20, 2016


The smarm is strong with this one.
posted by mynameisluka at 7:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"I left home at 20 with nothing but a truck, a co-signed loan and a phone..."


Harold Hamm was 20 in 1966. What sort of phone did they give him when he left home?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 10:14 PM on July 20 [−] Favorite added! [!] Other [2/2]: «≡·

I can't. stop. laughing.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


No no Cruz isn't Man in the High Castle he is Handmaid's Tale

I thought Pence was Handmaid's Tale. Cruz is "V."
posted by fedward at 7:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Eric didn't even mention Barron :-(
posted by dhens at 7:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Well, that's as much direct exposure as I can take. I'll be keeping up to speed with you all while I watch Caribbean cricket.
posted by mollweide at 7:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wow, they're really leaning into this "Trump has a lot of money" thing. I'll never understand who that appeals to.
posted by roll truck roll at 7:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hands up how many people consider their best friend to be their father?
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"To the unemployed voter sitting at home right now wondering how you're going to make the next mortgage payment.... to the veteran who's been ignored by an ungrateful system for far too long... to the school teacher forced to walk through metal detectors each day... to the laborer forced out of a job by undocumented workers- illegal immigrants ... to single mothers, to families with special needs children, to middle class families no longer able to afford their medical needs... my father is running for you."

And by "running for," I mean "running over."

"Vote for the candidate who has never received a paycheck from our government...."

err... bankruptcy relief is a government thing, dude. He avoided paying back those debtors because of government support. It's like the government handed him millions of dollars of free stuff.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


I just noticed Donald doesnt wear a wedding ring. Probably too hard to find one that small.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [37 favorites]


Here come the Gingri.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


He may be Trump's son, but I think his eyebrows were adopted.
posted by uosuaq at 7:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Nude.
posted by defenestration at 7:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


And then he said Orlando was caused by this.

Because...maybe if they'd closed the club and put a drill there the killings wouldn't have happened? I mean, I got nothing.
posted by emjaybee at 7:19 PM on July 20, 2016


Back to the CNN commentators and their unending praise. #liberalmedia
posted by roll truck roll at 7:19 PM on July 20, 2016


One of the (many) scary things about this convention is realizing both of Trump's older sons are going to be better campaigners than their dad if they choose to go into politics.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


The way she pronounces his name makes me associate "nude" with Newt, and that cannot be forgiven.
posted by defenestration at 7:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Think Trump will get Newtered?
posted by futz at 7:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I'm starting to become a Barron truther. He's never shown or mentioned. Does this mean Melania is already banished?
posted by sallybrown at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


VAMPIRE IN THE DAYLIGH-oh, it's Callista Gingrich.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Trump does look super proud of his son and that no-holds-barred pandering seems to be what gratifies him. I think that McKay Coppins' take on his insecurities is really dead-on.
posted by mynameisluka at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


All the electronics are on the fritz

The convention hall itself is rejecting Trump
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


He only signs the front of checks because he stamps the back with his Cayman Islands holding company. It's all perfectly le... hmm...
posted by ckape at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016




Now I am feeling very bad for the Trump kids. I grew up with a narcissist. I wonder if they think that these speeches are going to win points from him? Maybe if Eric is really, really sincere his father might pat him on the back and say, "Good job."
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Gingrich stumping for DoD post
posted by R.F.Simpson at 7:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I don't know how you people understood anything in Hamm's speech. I swear at one point he said 'geopolitical whippet foot oil.'
posted by sporkwort at 7:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


So the fancy screens are broken?
posted by octothorpe at 7:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"And now, a man who needs no introduction, unlike several of these other speakers. And because of that, I'm going to spend five minutes listing his accomplishments and introducing him."
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:21 PM on July 20, 2016


I can't imagine going to bed and having to whisper, "Oh Newt!"
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


I hope we get some moon talk forreal.
posted by defenestration at 7:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


You guys who are actually watching this shitshow are doing a great service. I can't even listen to three words out of the mouths of these people on the radio as a soundbite, let alone sit through hours of this horseshit. Yet I am compelled to know everything that is going on there. Without these threads, I'd have to resort to some strange combo of mute buttons and Woodie Guthrie played at top volume and shading my eyes like when I watch a horror movie. It'd be weird is what I'm saying. So thank you.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [59 favorites]


Did Newt just say "breast selling"?
posted by futz at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Kinda hoping Gingrich works in a "she turned me into a Newt" joke. If you are going to go with a witch-trial theme, you might as well go all in.
posted by nubs at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


THANK THE GODS that Callista Gingrich is not going to be a first lady any time soon.
posted by mynameisluka at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016


Is Nude drunk too?
posted by sporkwort at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Man she has gotten pretty wacky since "Allie McBeal". She's had a lot of work done, you can hardly tell its her.
posted by petebest at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Gingrinch already spinning Cruz's speech, before the night's even over. This has been astounding.
posted by penduluum at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


OH SHIT he's mansplaining Cruz!
posted by mynameisluka at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Sounds like it sporkwort.
posted by defenestration at 7:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Totally drunk
posted by futz at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016


The Trump sons will spend their lives in the family business. Ivanka is the golden child. She'll be the version of Trump who can hide her bigotry behind manners, charm, intelligence, and beauty.
posted by sallybrown at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Off script talking about Cruz, wow.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016


Did Newt just retcon Ted's speech?
posted by Room 101 at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


You guys who are actually watching this shitshow are doing a great service. I can't even listen to three words out of the mouths of these people on the radio as a soundbite, let alone sit through hours of this horseshit. Yet I am compelled to know everything that is going on there. Without these threads, I'd have to resort to some strange combo of mute buttons and Woodie Guthrie played at top volume and shading my eyes like when I watch a horror movie. It'd be weird is what I'm saying. So thank you.

It's difficult to listen to sometimes. Some statements require all my will to not have blood shooting out my fuckin ears.
posted by Talez at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


He just edited Cruz. Lame but smart and fast.
posted by vrakatar at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


No one at this shindig is upholding their constitution; they all sound shitfaced.
posted by defenestration at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Newt is "explaining" Ted Cruz's remarks about voting your conscious--hint, it really means vote for Trump.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wait doesn't the Republican platform this time literally say that the Constitution can be ignored when it conflicts with religious belief?
posted by stolyarova at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Wasn't last night the "keeping America safe" night?
posted by mynameisluka at 7:23 PM on July 20, 2016


Newts addressing the Ted thing very shrewdly. Man this dude is such a clever little weasel.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]




He's pitching himself for something Secretary of State or Defense?
posted by R.F.Simpson at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2016


Cruz is going to be so pissed.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Please protect the ladies from ISIS
posted by futz at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2016


To clarify for those of you not watching, Newt said that the only ticket that would uphold the Constitution was Trump.
posted by stolyarova at 7:24 PM on July 20, 2016


Newt's just jealous that he can't put gays and non-believers to the sword.
posted by Talez at 7:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This fucking co-opting of oppressed people. I CANNOT TAKE IT.
posted by defenestration at 7:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


Tries to push the wedge between gays and brown folk. Fuck right off.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Is Nude drunk too?

Either that or he had a stroke. Or maybe his dentures just fit badly because he awfully slurry.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:25 PM on July 20, 2016


"To the unemployed person at home...
To the schoolteacher....
To the oil and gas worker denied a job....
To single mothers.... "

Whoa man, he's gonna shoot me three times!
posted by Oyéah at 7:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


FEAR FEAR FEAR TRUMP FEAR
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:25 PM on July 20, 2016


sorry, ISHISH, not ISIS.
posted by futz at 7:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


A few years ago, Gingrich came to the university where I was doing my PhD, on a topic related to Belgian history. Afterward, I wanted to meet him, just briefly, as his PhD dissertation was also about Belgian history. Some College Republicans shooed me away. I guess it was ultimately for the best.

PS: Does Gingrich not realize that many of the victims of the people he is talking about were also Muslim?
posted by dhens at 7:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


To clarify for those of you not watching, Newt said that the only ticket that would uphold the Constitution was Trump.

He actually said Trump/Pence Republican ticket. So
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:26 PM on July 20, 2016


I've decided Gingrinch is right. I am opposed to murder.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I can't handle it anymore. Monday with Rudy, yesterday with Christie, and today with Newt, the message is, quite literally, "If you vote for Hillary, you will be guaranteed to be raped and killed by our enemies."
posted by Room 101 at 7:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


See, Americans can acknowledge attacks overseas just like attacks at home! (if we can use them to generate hate)
posted by Drinky Die at 7:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


war worship
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 7:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


And that snippet from Vampire Trump Jr. - Donald is just so incredibly unbelievably selfless that he would run for the most powerful position on earth, dontchaknow.
posted by stolyarova at 7:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


In what way are we losing the war?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:28 PM on July 20, 2016


"let me be clear..."

LOLerskates
posted by futz at 7:28 PM on July 20, 2016


I wanted to meet him, just briefly, as his PhD dissertation was also about Belgian history

Guessing the dissertation wasn't on the Congo
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Be afraid, be afraid, be afraid....
posted by PorcineWithMe at 7:28 PM on July 20, 2016


"Europe is on the brink of civil war."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


What gets me is how Newt tells the crowd that Radical Islamists will come and rape and kill them if they elect Hillary Clinton yet the crowd looks so cheery and excited, waving their placards like the audience in The Price is Right.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


In what way are we losing the war?

Well, there's a black family living in the White House.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


Vote for us or your city will blow up.
posted by gatorae at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


What the fuck is he talking about? I honestly can't follow.
posted by wallabear at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


VOTE TRUMP OR YOU WILL DIE!
posted by octothorpe at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


FUCK this guy and his suitcase nuke bullshit
posted by schadenfrau at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016


wow. this is fucking beyond awful. wtf.

I am very disturbed.
posted by futz at 7:29 PM on July 20, 2016


Oh now he is threatening the crowd with nuclear weapons. I can see why there was a call to keep your children from watching.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Unka Newt tell again about the bad blowjob man!
posted by petebest at 7:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


"Which brings us to the heart of the matter: shouldn't we just throw our founding principles and documents into a trash can and light them on fire?"
posted by sallybrown at 7:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Should we be afraid of a small percentage of the 400 million guns on American streets, Newt?
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Guessing the dissertation wasn't on the Congo

Actually...
posted by theodolite at 7:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


EVERY AMERICAN SHOULD BE TERRIFIED....
posted by chaoticgood at 7:31 PM on July 20, 2016


tivalasvegas, it was.

Gingrich cites a bunch of French-language sources. During the 2012 primaries, he pilloried Mitt Romney for speaking French in a video for the 2002 Salt Lake City Olympics (French is one of the official languages of the International Olympic Committee).
posted by dhens at 7:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well, don'tcha know The Donald can bounce nukes off his man-chest?
posted by Oyéah at 7:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Hillary Clinton lied to us knowingly about Benghazi. We know that Hillary and Obama lied to us about screening people. The cost of Hillary's dishonesty could be the loss of America as we know it."
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:32 PM on July 20, 2016


My kids are watching along with me, so I'm going to have to turn it off if Gingrich keeps talking along these lines. What the fuck.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Be afraid of a city being destroyed by terrorists using nuclear weapons! But totally don't think at all about the fact that Donald Trump is okay with a theocratic petro-state, which will run out of oil eventually, getting nuclear weapons.
posted by XMLicious at 7:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


I am terrified of the GOP.
posted by futz at 7:32 PM on July 20, 2016


More choices about their hair!
posted by kimdog at 7:32 PM on July 20, 2016


Is ISIS planning to blow up the moon? It would be foolish not to build a moonbase just in case.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


"The Trump infrastructure program."

Yay, no more building codes!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Oh he said the magic words "He will fire..." it doesn't matter who Donald Trump is going to fire the crowd is just tickled that Trump is going to fire someone, many someones. Because surely THAT will make America Great again.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Why did I agree to go to a Newt Gingrich concert again? I dont even like his old hits that much.
posted by petebest at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


"zero tolerance for the people calling for the deaths of police officers"
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016


"The Trump infrastructure program"? Is this a thing?

Fucking unbelievable.
posted by wallabear at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016


At least when a city blows up, Trump will put us to work rebuilding the infrastructure!
posted by gatorae at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016


Probably not the leader of the civilizing forces
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016


Newt Gingrich, as Krugman said, is the stupid person's idea of what a smart person sounds like.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [46 favorites]


I am continuing to be very happy that Newt couldn't win the nomination, and that Trump didn't like him enough to offer him the VP role.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Who has called for the death of police officers?
posted by peeedro at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


nobody knows infrastructure better than donald trump!
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016




This is another effective mainstream republican speech but without the benefit of a normal candidate as the subject. "You need someone who tells the truth"
But...?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Wow, that Newt, he's giving them all a raging fearection.
posted by phphph at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


What the hell. The Secret Service protects the President so every police man deserves the same protection?! So...a secret service guy for every policeman? Errr or wut?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


"Together, we can America America great again."
posted by wallabear at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"The suicidal dishonesty of Hillary Clinton"
posted by defenestration at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016


tivalasvegas, it was.

oh. my god. Newt actually wrote these words:
Belgian colonialism was in fact a model of technocratic government. It analysed and planned for Congolese economic development with a thoroughness that virtually none of the now independent African states can match.
Jesus.
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [25 favorites]


Oh! By "make America safe again," he means "make rich white men in America safe again." I kinda knew that but hadn't sorted it out until the end.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:36 PM on July 20, 2016


... but it's totally OK to call for the death of the other candidate, right, Newt?
posted by gaspode at 7:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Who has called for the death of police officers?

That's Republican code for Black Lives Matter.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


"zero tolerance for the people calling for the deaths of police officers" Yeah, that part jumped out at me. I know this is supposed to be code for Black Lives Matter, even though none of them have said anything like that.

Also, when Gingrich actually did acknowledge that Muslims are victims of Islamic terrorism and the vast majority are peaceful (though that didn't hinder his fear-mongering), the crowed booed.
posted by dhens at 7:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Eminence Front? Is the band trolling?
posted by octothorpe at 7:36 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


"we can marake america great again for all americans"
posted by futz at 7:36 PM on July 20, 2016


"The Trump infrastructure program"? Is this a thing?

Yeah, it's going to be like Atlantic City. The roads wil be falling apart, but the yellow lines will be done in gold leaf paint.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"Who has called for the death of police officers?"

Probably the same people calling for moments of silence for Micah Johnson
posted by klarck at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm at my parents' house. We were having fun shitting on Cruz and ETrump but had to turn it off during Newt's radicalmuslimislamicterrorist screed. that was so gross
posted by edeezy at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016


Band now playing "Eminence Front."

"It's a put-on."
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I wonder if their fellow musicians give GE Smith and his bandmates shit for doing this show, or if it's seen as just a paycheck. I know there are tons of people who are doing this as just a job -- the people doing lights, sound, security, etc -- but the way they have their faces on TV (or did yesterday, I'm not seeing them today) makes it seem like an endorsement.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I'll be a happy man when "God bless the United States of America" is no longer the political speech equivalent of a gymnast posing to the judges after landing (however good or badly).
posted by birdheist at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Guess what's playing on dumpsterfire.tv?
posted by gwint at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




Gingrich was a pioneer in peddling Islamophobia, long before 9/11 IIRC.
posted by msalt at 7:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Gingrich was on message at least. Has Cruz gotten death threats yet?
posted by vrakatar at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016


Eminence Front? Is the band trolling?

I think that's the.. third time they've played that? I think they're using one of those old flash-based MP3 players that only had room for like 40 tracks.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


late to the party on cruz, but it warms my cockles to know, no matter what the voters think of it, cruz's disrespect of trump is going to keep the short-fingered vulgarian up for NIGHTS of impotent rage
posted by murphy slaw at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [28 favorites]


Eminence front - It's a put on.
It's Eminence front
It's Eminence front - It's a put on.
An Eminence front
Eminence front - It's a put on.
Eminence front
It's Eminence front
It's Eminence front - It's a put on.
It's a put on
It's a put on
It's a put on

Come and join the party
Dress to kill
Won't you come and join the party
Dress to kill.
Dress to kill.

The drinks flow
People forget
That big wheel spins, the hair thins
People forget
Forget they're hiding
The news slows
People forget
The shares crash, hopes are dashed
People forget
Forget they're hiding.

posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Oh! By "make America safe again," he means "make rich white men in America safe again." I kinda knew that but hadn't sorted it out until the end.

Know that "Make America * Again" is just "Make America White Again".
posted by Talez at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Oh, it's the band playing it -- nevermind.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016


"Let me tell you about My Pants"
posted by sporkwort at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016


These speakers had to get drunk enough to get on stage to only semi-endorse Trump.

Stunning failure.
posted by futz at 7:38 PM on July 20, 2016


Wait Ryan is back up? Is Pence even going to make the primetime slot?
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:39 PM on July 20, 2016


Ryan isn't slurring his speech enough; the crowd isn't feeling it.
posted by defenestration at 7:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Wait I spoke too soon.
posted by defenestration at 7:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I've drunk too much bourbon, I've eaten too much crap, and I've listened to too much shit. I think I have to call it a day. I can read all about Pence tomorrow. Oh wait why is Paul Ryan on the stage? Introducing Pence because I guess Mrs. Pence can't do that. Never mind.

Good night and Dog Bless Metafilter.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 7:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Judy Woodruff just reported on PBS that Heidi Cruz was escorted out during Ted's speech because people in the crowd were yelling at her.
posted by glhaynes at 7:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


uh, nobody nominated Mike Pence.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 7:40 PM on July 20, 2016


One of the (many) scary things about this convention is realizing both of Trump's older sons are going to be better campaigners than their dad if they choose to go into politics.


Trump Threatens To Keep Trotting Out Children Until Country Agrees To Unite Behind Him


OMG, Trump is Walder Frey.
posted by VTX at 7:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Paul Ryan kind of fascinates me. He's by far the most competent politician they have.
posted by zutalors! at 7:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pence has such beady eyes.
posted by defenestration at 7:41 PM on July 20, 2016


Has... has Mike Pence always been orange?
posted by zennie at 7:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I've drunk too much bourbon

No such thing!
posted by peeedro at 7:41 PM on July 20, 2016


Paul Ryan was selected to introduce Pence, because he would have been physically unable to say nice things about Donald Trump.
posted by yesster at 7:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Zapp Brannigan is an odd choice of running mate.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


It's contagious within the GOP
posted by futz at 7:42 PM on July 20, 2016


Paul Ryan kind of fascinates me. He's by far the most competent politician they have.

I dunno, always looks like he is failing upwards to me.
posted by Drinky Die at 7:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


"I'm a Muslim, a liberal, and Democrat, in that order." Can you imagine if a politico said those words?
posted by dhens at 7:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Pence has such beady eyes

He looks like the Grandpa from King of the Hill.
posted by zutalors! at 7:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


I've drunk too much bourbon

You're still typing tho
posted by chaoticgood at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016


has Mike Pence always been orange?

Tangy Tangerine.
posted by holgate at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Aw shucks, the faux humbleness.
posted by mynameisluka at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Paul Ryan kind of fascinates me.

The approved epithet is actually "Zombie eyed granny starver Paul Ryan".
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


Ever notice how non-Republicans have to be an American first, but for them American isn't even in the top 3?
posted by ckape at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


the orange norovirus
posted by futz at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016




Is it just me or does Pence strongly resemble Leslie Nielsen?
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:43 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Pence: "I'm a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order."
Trump: "This is the Republican party. It's not called the conservative party."
posted by roll truck roll at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Just on a grammatical level I'm super irked at the Make America x Again construction of the themes because it just doesn't make sense when x = any number of things. Make America Work Again sounds like conscripted labor, and Make America One Again is the most awkward statement in the history of the English language and I don't even know what it is supposed to mean.
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"I'm a Muslim, a liberal, and Democrat, in that order." Can you imagine if a politico said those words?

I can't really imagine a politico saying any one of them except under duress.
posted by tonycpsu at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


aw shucks heh heh just call me Mike cuz I'm all folksy & shit

fucking asshole
posted by wallabear at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Pence was a descendant of IMMIGRUNTS!

Citing JFK and MLK Jr.? Barf.
posted by dhens at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016


Has... has Mike Pence always been orange?

Adjust your screens color settings. You'll know you have it right when the roots of his hair look slightly green.
posted by yesster at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I want to start a conspiracy theory right now. I think Trump is someone else, with a face transplant. He is a replacement. Check the voice prints! Ha ha ha. He goes home everynight to sleep in a nylon stocking to keep the skin stuck to the muscle. We are in for a long ride! At times like this I miss the honorable Dr. Thompson.
posted by Oyéah at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Mike for Vice President. Mike for Vice President. Mike for Vice President.
You like Mike, I like Mike, everybody likes Mike for Vice President!
Bring out the banners, beat the drums, we'll take Mike to Washington!
We don't want Hillary or Jill or Gary. Let's do that big job right!
Let's get in step with the guy that's hep! Get in step with Mike!


Sorry. Given the GOP platform I thought it was 1952 again.
posted by Talez at 7:44 PM on July 20, 2016


That's a lot of swagger in the body language of someone who has precious little to swagger about.
posted by holgate at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


mike pence = fascist hank hooper
posted by lalochezia at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


So how did Cruz's speech work with the teleprompter if it clearly wasn't the copy he provided in advance? I guess most of it is the speech he's been writing since he was 10, but it's still a long speech to memorize.
posted by zachlipton at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


His mom doesn't look thrilled.
posted by dhens at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]



Paul Ryan kind of fascinates me. He's by far the most competent politician they have.

I dunno, always looks like he is failing upwards to me
.

I listened to his interview on Politico's Off the Message and i disagree. He's thoughtful and has a cohesive message, even though I disagree with just about all of it. He's sort of in a weird time where he can't be a Jack Kemp Republican and was kind of out of his depth as Romney's running mate. But he was just too young for the more moderate Jack Kemp era and he's modified himself for the times.
posted by zutalors! at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016


Stop invoking MLK. If he was alive today he'd be outside the convention hall protesting you idiots.
posted by octothorpe at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


I was thinking about the MLM speech and how her mom worked hard and wore the same coat for 40 years. Surely the lesson from that story is that individual hard work is not enough to get ahead?
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:45 PM on July 20, 2016 [30 favorites]




Politico: The Trump campaign dramatically improved its financial position in June, ending the month with $20.2 million cash on hand.

The latest campaign finance report, filed on Wednesday with the Federal Election Commission, must be a huge relief to Republicans after the prior month's dismal $1.3 million cash position sparked widespread panic and dismay. The turnaround is also welcome news for a campaign still finding its footage in the middle of a turbulent convention week.

posted by Drinky Die at 7:46 PM on July 20, 2016


I was thinking about the MLM speech and how her mom worked hard and wore the same coat for 40 years. Surely the lesson from that story is that individual hard work is not enough to get ahead?

Also: Once we're done with Social Security, you too will be waiting tables well into your seventies.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 7:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Sorry. Given the GOP platform I thought it was 1952 again.

Half the 1956 GOP platform would make today's GOP spout off about dirty liberals.
posted by dhens at 7:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Looks like Cruz went rogue with the non-endorsement.
posted by defenestration at 7:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Still can't get over how genius that vote your conscience line is. Because some dumb shit at the campaign read it and said "ok that's good enough" but by the time Cruz delivered it, it's clear that he meant "Fuck you Trump you amoral Saran-rimming private school cock". Cruz is delusional but gotta hand it to him he's pretty fearless.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


I need to check Google to see if there any Vomitoriums within stumbling distance.
posted by futz at 7:47 PM on July 20, 2016


These people need to shut up, I'm tired and I wanna go to bed
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 7:47 PM on July 20, 2016


Standing ovation for Mrs. Pence... yeah, Mike, bring up the fact that the guy you want for president has been through more divorces than many of us have kids.

But "you have nominated a president who never quits"... unless it's a business deal or a marriage.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Surely the lesson from that story is that individual hard work is not enough to get ahead?

Or coats used to be built much sturdier than they are now.
posted by peeedro at 7:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Where are Mike Pence's other two children? (It's super cute how his daughter who's there looks exactly like her grandmother :)
posted by sallybrown at 7:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


All right. Pence is pretty much saying nothing. And he doesn't even seem drunk.
posted by defenestration at 7:49 PM on July 20, 2016


Vomitorium just means "exit door" in Latin
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


I wonder if Trump is gonna let Pence's "I've got the three greatest kids in the world" go un-one-upped.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 7:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"they"

gfy Mike
posted by sallybrown at 7:50 PM on July 20, 2016


Mike Pence is as boring as driving through Indiana, he's the perfect personification of one of the worst states in America.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Whoops, crowd is drifting off... time to rant about the evils of Hillary. And insist she'll be an extension of Obama, and therefore everything Obama did wrong is also Hillary's fault.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:50 PM on July 20, 2016


These cheer lines are pitiful. Real third rate shit.
posted by defenestration at 7:50 PM on July 20, 2016


Does Pence really think that Obamacare comes from Hillarycare?

Oops sorry I got caught playing, "Are they stupid OR evil"
posted by nom de poop at 7:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Of course he isn't drunk, somehow out of nowhere he has just been handed the Presidency of the US. He is second in line behind an orange hot air balloon.
posted by Oyéah at 7:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Pence is definitely not drunk enough to be on that stage tonight. He is at most 0.2 on the Bondi scale.
posted by sporkwort at 7:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


it occurs to me that there is nothing on earth that trump hates more than getting the bad half of a deal
combined with his legendary inability to keep his eye on the ball makes me wonder if there we'll soon see him talking shit about cruz when he should be riding his post-convention bump and attacking clinton
posted by murphy slaw at 7:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


This is the actual nominee.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Pence: Fewer state workers than when I took office. Well, RIP "job-creating" I guess. (I know, they only mean the right kind of jobs.)
posted by dhens at 7:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


From Bloomberg this evening:
After Cruz’s speech, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said he would advise Trump to "ignore it and move on." He said Cruz is more focused on 2020 than winning in November.
That suggests both Christie and Cruz are resigned to Trump losing in November.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


I want one of these jokers griping about the economy to tell me how their economic plan is different than the one W was implementing when we almost got Great Depression II.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


"He's his own man - distinctly American." That, at least, I can agree with. No other nation could produce Donald Trump.

World, I'm sorry.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Or coats used to be built much sturdier than they are now.

Respectable, Republican cloth coats?
posted by non canadian guy at 7:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Hey, it could've been a leather coat. Mama could've been a biker serving drinks in a bar in her motorcycle jacket into her 70's.

I like that image better, I think.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I'm out. All jokes aside, this is a disgrace.

It's scary and disgusting and disheartening. I am out of words to describe how much this upsets me.

This whole thing is just so fucking ugly.
posted by futz at 7:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


thin blue line, is that a norovirus symptom?
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 7:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


1980s Steve Martin should play the part of Pence on SNL.
posted by The corpse in the library at 7:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


That suggests both Christie and Cruz are resigned to Trump losing in November.

I'm pretty sure Cruz has decided he's running in 2020 whether or not Trump is president.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]




Thin blue line = Pregnancy which will end in miscarriage which Pence will move to inter
posted by mynameisluka at 7:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Pence needs to stop pandering to the crowd and say something newsworthy otherwise tomorrow's story is Cruz getting booed.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Ivanka didn't clap for "being hard on politicians again"
posted by zutalors! at 7:56 PM on July 20, 2016


On Audrey Pence, the Pence daughter not shown at the convention:
In 2015, Northeastern highlighted Pence in an article posted on the school’s website. The story, titled, “An American journalist in Turkey,” detailed the student’s interest in “learning about the world” through a reporter’s lens.

The international affairs major was a coop at the Fuller Project for International Reporting, a non-profit news organization, at the time, the article states. While overseas, she covered stories ranging from a “bride kidnapping to the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide,” the latter story being published on CNN’s website.

“That was one I got a shared byline on, which was really exciting,” Pence said of the experience.

According to Pence’s LinkedIn profile, she was an external relations intern at the Center for Strategic and International Studies, in Washington, D.C., for two months, after she returned home from her co-op in Turkey.

Pence also explored “humanitarian access in Syria” as a research assistant at Northeastern in 2014. In that role, she “scheduled and organized all events for Northeastern University’s Middle East Center,” according to her profile.

She also once spent a month abroad in Amman, Jordan, studying Arabic, and a summer semester in Serbia and Bosnia and Herzegovina, concentrating on international conflict and negotiation, her profile says. . . .

While Pence once described herself as “politically independent, socially liberal” in an interview with Indianapolis television news station WTHR, she seems to have always been supportive of her father’s political ambitions.
posted by sallybrown at 7:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Well, Pence just pretty much opted Trump out of opting out of debates.
posted by wallabear at 7:56 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


By the time 2020 rolls around the maggots will have eaten their way out. No worries!
posted by Oyéah at 7:57 PM on July 20, 2016


Pence is mostly boring. "You can't fake good kids.."? I had a trump supporter pitch me that as a selling point a few months ago. Is that a thing? WTF?
posted by vrakatar at 7:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Vomitorium just means "exit door" in Latin

(i know)
posted by futz at 7:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


This Pence bot thingy is pretty good, if boring, but they need to tweak the eyebrow control SW. The eyebrows seem to be all over the place. No real human moves their eyebrows that drastically.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 7:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"He can be a little rough with politicians on the stage, and I'll bet we see that again."

Yep, I am looking forward to the foot-in mouth fiascos during the upcoming debates against Clinton.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 7:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


I think it's interesting that all the emails I'm getting from the Clinton campaign are assuming I am fully au currant with the goings-on in Cleveland. I mean, I am, so well played, but I wonder if there is some variable in the database for "morbidly obsessed with Republican fuckery."
posted by soren_lorensen at 7:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


SECRETARY OF THE STATUS QUO, my goodness where does he get these zingers
posted by mynameisluka at 7:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


That "Secretary of the Status Quo" joke bombed. This speech is forgettable.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 7:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Donald Trump, if elected, has what? Like... 25%, 50%, 100% chance of being impeached? This man could easily become president.
posted by gatorae at 7:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Let the record show that an old white conservative man just called the first female nominee of a major party "secretary of the status quo"
posted by tivalasvegas at 7:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


"You can't fake good kids."

It's true, I saw right through them.
posted by uosuaq at 7:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


Sometimes the saying goes "you couldn't write this shit," but after the past three days I would ammend that to, "if you wrote this shit your editor would throw it in your face and tell you to be more subtle."
posted by codacorolla at 7:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


pence is competent at speechifying, calibrated to his audience - and swing voters - and thus terrifying.
posted by lalochezia at 7:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


bob. bob boblob.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 8:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Trump has little chance of being impeached because he's likely to resign as soon as it becomes apparent there's actually work involved. Pence is the guy who's actually running for the job, not to win his next reality TV show spot.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


"It seems like no aspect is too small for the administration to supervise"

*** THIS IS COMING FROM THE ASSHOLE THAT WANTED AND SIGNED A BILL FOR FUNERALS FOR MISCARRIAGES. ***
posted by Talez at 8:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [76 favorites]


yes the establishment plan is clearly to get Trump in and then dump him ASAP for the predictable man who is physically able to hold a pen.
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Is it possible Pence is the real candidate?
posted by Oyéah at 8:00 PM on July 20, 2016


Attempt to pander to Bernie voters?
posted by dhens at 8:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


there was an audio fuckup on PBS just now; a male voice just muttered "Jeeesus." over the top of Pence's speech. I can't stop laughing.
posted by Old Kentucky Shark at 8:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [81 favorites]


"You can't fake good kids."

Tommen and Myrcella are lovely children and I don't blame them at all for you.
posted by Navelgazer at 8:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


Trump wants to dump this guy so badly right now. He's like the President who gets flashed on the television screen during a minor scene in a movie.
posted by sallybrown at 8:02 PM on July 20, 2016


"TRUMP DIGS COAL"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:02 PM on July 20, 2016


People here are impressed by Pence? This is terrible.
posted by zutalors! at 8:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]




Old Kentucky Shark, thank you for sharing that!
posted by wallabear at 8:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


"Tommen and Myrcella" Not from this galaxy! C'mon sheeple wake up!
posted by Oyéah at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016


Shut up you boring man
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


why yes the solution to all the problems black Americans face is indeed charter schools
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016


Wow. Hadn't tuned in until this evening. I'm not a U.S. citizen, so can't speak to that but I can say I've never felt so astoundingly embarrassed about being white.
posted by bonobothegreat at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


People here are impressed by Pence? This is terrible.

Is he still talking? I started seeing corn and corned out.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


People here are impressed by Pence? This is terrible.

I think being boring and sober is basically his job. They have excitement covered.
posted by Drinky Die at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


People here are impressed by Pence? This is terrible.

The soft somethingtry of low somethingtations.
posted by tonycpsu at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Trump wants to dump this guy so badly right now.

And to think, Pence was the best guy he could get.
posted by Mister Fabulous at 8:03 PM on July 20, 2016


This whole thing about how if you've got good kids that must mean you're a good person? How does anyone take that seriously as a character reference? Haven't we all met incredibly nice people whose parents are abusive monsters? Have we learned nothing from Young Adult literature?
posted by soren_lorensen at 8:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


sign in the audience mob: "HILLARY LIES MATTER"
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:05 PM on July 20, 2016


He managed to get guns, god and abortion all in one sentence. Wow.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 8:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


"This election will define the Supreme Court for the next forty."

I am suddenly much more enthusiastic about the election.

"Unelected judges taking unconstitutional actions"... um, if you win, won't you be placing those "unlelected justices?"

(And no. No, I really don't want to know who DT thinks would make a good supreme court justice.)
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Pence is one of those people with so little personality that when he leaves the room you feel like someone just walked in.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [85 favorites]


And they had to force him to take him lol. This is like 2008s GOP Ticket upside down.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Benghazi: booing and what I assume are unspeakably vile chants.
posted by dhens at 8:06 PM on July 20, 2016


Six more months in Iraq and we would have turned the corner.
posted by Drinky Die at 8:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Audience chanting "Lock her up!" These folks are scary.
posted by octothorpe at 8:07 PM on July 20, 2016


How is this even happening. Donald Trump is the Republican nominee for President of the United States. Donald Trump. I still sometimes am almost knocked over when I see an article or something and am hit by the fact that this is really truly happening.
posted by gatorae at 8:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Republicans sure love France these days.
posted by defenestration at 8:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


we're still in iraq
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


they sure love that "what difference" line. i've yet to hear anyone answer the damn question though. "what difference, at this point, does it make?" THEY'RE DEAD AND THAT CAN'T BE CHANGED.
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 8:08 PM on July 20, 2016


"you feel like someone just walked in" No, it is more like the air slams back together. But, there is an unpleasant old man aftershave smell.
posted by Oyéah at 8:08 PM on July 20, 2016


Six more months in Iraq and we would have turned the corner.

It's like Linux on the desktop!
posted by bongo_x at 8:08 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


We're all about law and order and defending the police and sanctity of life, unless that involves preventing ahead of time anything like the town of West, Texas blowing up and killing the entire police and fire departments because we've intentionally underfunded EPA inspections and enforcement.
posted by XMLicious at 8:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


The Israel thing was out of nowhere
posted by zutalors! at 8:09 PM on July 20, 2016


It's the year of the fire monkey for sure - lots of passion; lots of strange antics; lots of bizarre events out of nowhere.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pence will bring the evangelicals in that Cruz just tried to peal away. That's his job, to shore up the shaky base (and harness their GOTV experience). Calm ole Christian man, steady hand behind the throne, etc.
posted by Chrischris at 8:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


we've only been "one nation under God" since the 1950s technically
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Republicans sure love France these days.

Maybe Freedom Fries will be renamed
posted by XMLicious at 8:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"Ohhh the pledge of allegiance, I know this one!!!1!one!"
posted by defenestration at 8:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


why is my TV always on delay
posted by zutalors! at 8:11 PM on July 20, 2016


Oh nice; the crowd does know the pledge.

I just wish they knew what the word "indivisible" actually meant, and they understood that "liberty and justice for all" wasn't followed by "straight white Christian men."
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Republicans getting all soft voice seriousface about divisiveness and partisanship really makes me want to destroy this whole fucking planet.
posted by nom de poop at 8:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


The 1950's called the want their candidate back.
posted by vrakatar at 8:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


IS ARE LAND HEALIN'?
posted by quonsar II: smock fishpants and the temple of foon at 8:12 PM on July 20, 2016


Pence will bring the evangelicals in that Cruz just tried to peal away. That's his job, to shore up the shaky base (and harness their GOTV experience). Calm ole Christian man, steady hand behind the throne, etc.

Talking to my father (essentially an atheist), this is also how people disgusted with Trump will justify voting for an open fascist. Put a calm, rational mask on it, and suddenly it's palatable.
posted by codacorolla at 8:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


That's his job, to shore up the shaky base (and harness their GOTV experience)

And their fundraising machine
posted by peeedro at 8:12 PM on July 20, 2016


If Trump wins, Pence will be the person actually setting policy. Trump doesn't care about actually governing. The opening of this NYT article makes that clear.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:13 PM on July 20, 2016


vrakatar that's too hard on the 50s, Eisenhower was a progressive compared to this turd pyre.
posted by stolyarova at 8:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Pence is accepting his Hand of the King pin.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Obviously Pence got to pick his own music; Trump has better taste than this.
posted by sallybrown at 8:14 PM on July 20, 2016


Pence just made me barf.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 8:14 PM on July 20, 2016


MAKE AMERICA a CRATER AGAIN
posted by nom de poop at 8:14 PM on July 20, 2016


"If you want a president who..."

I suppose they don't have any linguists on the speechwriting staff who could tell them that starting a sentence with "if" implies the negative.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:14 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


[BTW while you were watching RNC Sam Bee took a bus that travels through time and ended up in the past, where men and women thought a woman shouldnt be president but there were also moderate Republicans. Oh wait, sources tell me that was just rural Pennsylvania.]
posted by NorthernLite at 8:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


And there's your picture of the Trump administration, Pence gives a 30min speech, then Trump walks out on at the end to give his blessing, without telling Pence he would.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:15 PM on July 20, 2016


It seemed like Trump was about to kiss Pence's forehead, then remembered about the spray tan, so did some awkward air kiss thing.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


That was very boring compared to suitcase nukes.
posted by kiltedtaco at 8:15 PM on July 20, 2016


Trump walks immediately off stage because he's got to get back to LGA.
posted by Talez at 8:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


You'll need this later because nobody in their right mind will believe this shit you saw tonight:

Michelle Van Etten Full Speech at Republican National Convention (7-20-16)

I'll keep an eye out for the autotuned version.

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the Gingrich bite.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 8:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


Meanwhile
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


1980s Steve Martin should play the part of Pence on SNL.

"I believe Ronald Reagan will make this country what it once was....an arctic wasteland coated in ice!"
posted by gimonca at 8:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Well, that's a wrap for me, big day tomorrow, support your local booze seller, just one more night of this, stay frosty.
posted by vrakatar at 8:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


omg there's MORE?

Bishop. Interesting. That's not the religious endorsement most Republicans go for.
posted by ErisLordFreedom at 8:18 PM on July 20, 2016


LOL According to Chris Matthews Ted Cruz was given 10 minutes to speak and went over his time by 13 minutes.
posted by gatorae at 8:18 PM on July 20, 2016 [31 favorites]


Thank fuck this plodding corpse-walk is over for another night. See y'all on the other side.
posted by penduluum at 8:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Is the Greek Orthodox vote truly this important? Why didn't someone tell me? And won't this piss off the Turks unless they get equal time? I'm confused.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 8:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


CNN reports that a man in a donor suite had to be restrained from assaulting Ted Cruz after he entered it after his speech.
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 8:20 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]




Pence does not have the kavorka.

Trump, kinda.
posted by milquetoast at 8:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


So you guys I went to the liquor store earlier because I just knew beer wasn't going to cut it and there was this little old white lady in front of me in line buying a really big bottle of gin and talking to the clerk about how much she likes Trump. Because Trump speaks truth. Trump is not afraid. Trump puts "people in their place." Imagine my jaw dropping nearer and nearer the floor. She said "Trump's my guy!" Then she turned to me and asked "Is Trump your guy?"

I reeled in my jaw.

I said "I like girls".

Then went and got the big bottle of vodka.

And now I'm drunk, friends. And really want to send corb a pizza.
posted by blessedlyndie at 8:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [103 favorites]


Oh, this poor old Orthodox archbishop. He's up way past his bedtime and really doesn't care for the tone of this convention.

He also called Mike Pence "Mike Vincent."

I like this guy.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


This Ted Cruz thing is fantastic because hopefully it helps sink Trump in the end, yet it will also doom Cruz further in the eyes of the Republican establishment who all bit their tongue, drank the kool-aid, and now had to watch this guy tell people it's actually cyanide. They'll remember.
posted by AndrewInDC at 8:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Cruz did say he wanted the "wall" so let's not love on him too much
posted by zutalors! at 8:23 PM on July 20, 2016


It was weird when they started chanting "Endorse Trump!" at the archbishop.
posted by defenestration at 8:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


> there was this little old white lady in front of me in line buying a really big bottle of gin and talking to the clerk about how much she likes Trump

I already have an agreement with my 81-year-old neighbor: if Trump wins she's going to buy us booze and we're going to sit in her yard and get drunk and shoot off fireworks together.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


i mean, i feel a little bad now for ragging so hard on bernie for dragging his feet on an endorsement because god damn
posted by murphy slaw at 8:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Oh, Ted's still a vile person. I'm just happy this might be a two-birds-one-stone thing.
posted by AndrewInDC at 8:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Ted Cruz is a good example of how the enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend, but nevertheless sometimes I can love certain things that they do.
posted by gatorae at 8:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


I don't think there will be a "Republican establishment" as we understand it in four years. There actually may not be one now, it might have died when Eric Cantor got successfully primaried.
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Good night, fellow masochists. Misery really does love company.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 8:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Misery really does love company.

I just found it funny. It was too disconnected from reality to upset me.
posted by zutalors! at 8:28 PM on July 20, 2016


Muah!
posted by gatorae at 8:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


I'm just hearing about the Cruz thing, and... My god, that's a thing of beauty. "Vote your conscience."

I hope he and his family are safe, though.
posted by tobascodagama at 8:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Cruz did say he wanted the "wall" so let's not love on him too much

Not to mention that he came up with the idea of special police patrols of Muslim neighborhoods, which Trump immediately endorsed.
posted by XMLicious at 8:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Caption this photo
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [21 favorites]


And now I'm drunk, friends. And really want to send corb a pizza.

That's pretty much my state of being through all this mess :) Great story, blessedlyndie
posted by wallabear at 8:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]




"When the bunker runs out of Perrier"
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:38 PM on July 20, 2016


My take-away from today was Shepherd's amazing post:

"He cn br a frn n brg mrca to grtnz unc gn" FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF YOU ARE SO RICH BUY THIS MAN A VOWEL

Also, watching Cruz bring the knives. He's really good at being bad.
posted by Joey Michaels at 8:39 PM on July 20, 2016


Huh... I'm getting conflicting information. One would assume that the RNC would never approve that speech, but some media outlets are reporting that the speech as it as given was presented to media outlets in advance, indicating that this might be a clever bit of PR for the trumpsters.
posted by codacorolla at 8:40 PM on July 20, 2016


Thorzdad: "You folks really do not want Mike Pence acting as the man behind the throne. Nopenopenopenope."

Pence aspires to be as evil as Dick Cheney, but where Cheney was a crafty operator deftly operating the levers of power, Pence won't be able to find the power switch. He really is as dumb as a bag of hair.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:40 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Pleases stop with the Trump being clever thing. I watched the convention.
posted by bongo_x at 8:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


Oh god this again. Guys they are just incompetent stop seeing artfulness every time they screw up.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


Caption this photo! Gl, Glu, Glum, Glummer, and Wha?
posted by Oyéah at 8:42 PM on July 20, 2016


The Trump campaign deliberately trolls. At this point we just have to accept it and save the anger for the ballot box. There's no way to say, "Just don't feed the trolls..." when they have been nominated to be President by a major party.

I don't think they are clever or have a real plan to win the Presidency, but they are fucking with us on purpose.
posted by Drinky Die at 8:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Upsetting liberals is its own reward.
posted by Spathe Cadet at 8:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


They all want to finger the button, and then push it. Hell yeah they do!
posted by Oyéah at 8:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Pleases stop with the Trump being clever thing.'
Where is this? I'm watching MSNBC
posted by zutalors! at 8:45 PM on July 20, 2016


"He cn br a frn n brg mrca to grtnz unc gn"

I found this tidbit interesting: "Mr. Hamm donated nearly $1 million to the super PAC backing Mr. Romney in 2012. He has not yet donated to Mr. Trump, according to the most recent FEC records."
posted by peeedro at 8:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


So MSNBC has a countdown clock for a special edition of SNL Weekend Update starting in about 12 minutes.
posted by wallabear at 8:47 PM on July 20, 2016


I have a good friend who's a Trump supporter. His main goal is to inflict the same unhappiness on the libruls as eight years of Obama "inflicted" on him.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:48 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]




I love that Ted Cruz has, for the umpteenth time, demonstrated that he can and will throw his party under the bus at any time that he thinks he may get a small personal advantage by doing so.
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


Twist the knife.
posted by double block and bleed at 8:52 PM on July 20, 2016


The phrase "who ratfucks the ratfuckers" springs to mind
posted by saturday_morning at 8:53 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


If I was home right now I'd photoshop the scene of Clarence (Cruz) giving Drexel (Trump, obvs) the empty envelope in True Romance
posted by Senor Cardgage at 8:55 PM on July 20, 2016


The campaign still can't get the U and N in "Trump" and "Pence" to line up on their damned logo. Driving me nuts.
posted by yesster at 8:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Today has been excruciating, not least because yesterday--for the first time in, uh 15 years as a Mefite (!)--I ran out of favorites. Before noon.

It was awful.

So today I've been hoarding them, meaning that I've had to hold back from favoriting so many comments that made me laugh or think or just helped me get through the third day of this seemingly endless ordeal

If you've posted in this thread, you can pretty much assume I wanted to favorite your comments. There are so few exceptions it's a safe assumption. Thank you all for keeping me from running out into the street in front of oncoming traffic.
posted by Superplin at 8:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [36 favorites]


I love that Ted Cruz has, for the umpteenth time, demonstrated that he can and will throw his party under the bus at any time that he thinks he may get a small personal advantage by doing so.

Or maybe Cruz remembered how shitty Trump was to Heidi and thought "You know what, fuck that guy."
posted by dersins at 8:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [36 favorites]


Ted Cruz American history is a good example of how the enemy of my enemy is NOT my friend

Sorry. I get that reaction basically every time I see "enemy of my enemy."
posted by scaryblackdeath at 8:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


"who ratfucks the ratfuckers"

Coming soon to Vertigo Comics: Alan Moore's Ratfuckers .
posted by Joey Michaels at 8:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump
Wow, Ted Cruz got booed off the stage, didn't honor the pledge! I saw his speech two hours early but let him speak anyway. No big deal!


Obviously, Trump is not angry about this. In fact this is actually funny to him.
posted by saturday_morning at 8:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


paging languagehat: what is the Latin for 'ratfucker'
posted by tivalasvegas at 8:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Holy shit. You guys need to understand the context because it is amazeballs. #Nevertrump - Kendall's group, mine - started pushing #voteyourconscience just today. Before the Cruz speech. We met with him at 1600. Tonight he does this. He basically walked onstage, said #nevertrump, and dropped the mic.
posted by corb at 8:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [251 favorites]


but where Cheney was a crafty operator deftly operating the levers of power

The weird thing is it all blew up 2006-2008.

Losing the House & Senate, our occupation of Iraq falling apart, then the housing bubble bust & ensuing financial crisis.

I can't think of a bigger fuck-up of an administration that the previous one.

I don't understand how Republicans can even . . . denial and projection are primary human abilities I guess.
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 8:58 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Caption this photo
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:37 PM on July 20


WTF, I'll give it a shot. From left to right:

woman: "Who does this vile man think he is, and why is he refusing to play by our rules?
Trump male spawn: "You just signed your own death warrant, maggot. My dad's guys are going to be all over you."
Trump: "You wanna play this way, Ted? OK, this is war. Nobody does this to me."
Ivanka: "This is so sad. This could really hurt the future income streams I've been counting on recently."
Unknown young woman on the right: "Whatever. Can we leave yet? I need a few more bong hits and some Fritos."

That's what I see, FWIW.
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 8:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also the booing was not organic. Trump whips got panicked and pushed that shit.
posted by corb at 8:59 PM on July 20, 2016 [78 favorites]


The enemy of my enemy is the Zodiac Killer my enemy's enemy.

The phrase "who ratfucks the ratfuckers" springs to mind

And now we know the answer: Ted Cruz!
posted by tobascodagama at 9:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


corb that's brilliant
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Ted Cruz isn't the hero we want but tonight he's the hero we need.

#ratman
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


This whole thing about how if you've got good kids that must mean you're a good person?

I spent some time dealing with narcissists, and I have always wondered about the apparent contradiction that they say nice things about their kids, despite thinking they're the only important person in the world.

This explains so much. That's what the kids are for: providing more proof of what a good person you are.

Now I finally understand why Donald Trump, narcissist supreme, talks about his kids...
posted by mmoncur at 9:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


Congrats, corb. While the difference between Cruz and Trump to me is like putting left hand vs. right down a running garbage disposal, that is something amazing for you.
posted by Heywood Mogroot III at 9:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


Now we really all owe corb a drink.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


Weird Weekend Update on MSNBC
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:02 PM on July 20, 2016


The read on Cruz is confusing. Partially people (including Manafort) are indicating that they knew if not the letter of the speech, then at least the spirit would happen and then let it happen anyway. Partially people are indicating that this is as surprising as it was shown on TV.
posted by codacorolla at 9:02 PM on July 20, 2016


holy shit, corb, I called it!
posted by wallabear at 9:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Holy shit. You guys need to understand the context because it is amazeballs. #Nevertrump - Kendall's group, mine - started pushing #voteyourconscience just today. Before the Cruz speech. We met with him at 1600. Tonight he does this. He basically walked onstage, said #nevertrump, and dropped the mic.

Congratulations Corb! You guys might not have kicked Trump out, but if you influenced Cruz to stab him in the back, you've made a huge difference.

And I never ever thought I'd gain a tiny bit of respect for Ted Cruz but there it is.
posted by mmoncur at 9:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


paging languagehat: what is the Latin for 'ratfucker'

Not languagehat, but perhaps something like "irrumātor murī"?
posted by biogeo at 9:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Meta: Superplin, I think favorites are on a rolling 24 window. You get 240 a day, so as your older favorites expire out of that 24 hour window, your total falls below 240, allowing you to use those "freed" favorites. I don't think you have to wait until midnight or anything like that.
posted by double block and bleed at 9:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Well played, corb.
posted by gatorae at 9:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Not watching the video and just reading the text: Fuck you, Cruz. That was a good speech. Whoever wrote that deserves whatever they were paid. Although in the back of my mind I also still have that ever-present unshakeable feeling that Cruz is some unknown evil not of this earth who adapts its techniques and steadily gains more and more power.
posted by downtohisturtles at 9:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Pence needs to stop pandering to the crowd and say something newsworthy otherwise tomorrow's story is Cruz getting booed.

WSJ and WashPo are both leading with Cruz. "He did not endorse" is the story of day 3.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


Cruz's "Vote your Conscience" is the headline on CNN's front page too. He's taken their entire day of messaging away, including Pence's chance at at the spotlight. This is way better than the Melania plagiarism thing.
posted by mmoncur at 9:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [56 favorites]


Weird Weekend Update on MSNBC

The problem is that the Weekend Edition people are just -- reporting the news straight. The punch line is the reality.
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Kendal Unruh changed her twitter handle to @ConscienceVoter today.
posted by zachlipton at 9:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


I know that three dimensional chess is typically the wrong answer, and I'm welcome to being proved wrong, but doesn't Cruz's non-endorsement play directly into Trump's tiny, ill-formed hands? It seems to set up the woe-is-me political persona that he's been working towards for a majority of this insufferable campaign season, and which has worked reasonably well with the dead-enders that support his candidacy.
posted by codacorolla at 9:06 PM on July 20, 2016


I think we can be glad for what Cruz did without calling him any kind of hero.

This is like when shitty supervillains fight each other. It's entertaining but it's only really good if they both go down because of it.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 9:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


The best nickname I've heard for Cruz's speech: The Ted Wedding.
posted by NoxAeternum at 9:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [99 favorites]


Heidi sends her regards.
posted by saturday_morning at 9:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [21 favorites]


doesn't Cruz's non-endorsement play directly into Trump's tiny, ill-formed hands?

No because the dead-enders only make up a plurality of the Republican Party. It's a three-legged stool, the business/establishment wing is already broken, and if the religious conservatives don't consolidate behind Trump then he'll be down to the Crazification Factor vote.
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


I know that three dimensional chess is typically the wrong answer, and I'm welcome to being proved wrong, but doesn't Cruz's non-endorsement play directly into Trump's tiny, ill-formed hands? It seems to set up the woe-is-me political persona that he's been working towards for a majority of this insufferable campaign season, and which has worked reasonably well with the dead-enders that support his candidacy.

Nope. Cruz just obliterated whatever messaging was intended for tonight. The story is that Ted publicly refused to bow the knee and kiss the ring, and did so in a way that was a massive middle finger to the Trump candidacy.
posted by NoxAeternum at 9:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


doesn't Cruz's non-endorsement play directly into Trump's tiny, ill-formed hands?

Either "hey Ted, by the way I beat your ass, I crushed you by uuuuuuge margins" goes into the speech tomorrow, or if the campaign team leaves it out, he says it anyway as a complete tangent. Which may not be the best look for a presidential candidate's acceptance speech.
posted by holgate at 9:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


And crucially it looks like the media are actually running with the "this is a train wreck of a convention" narrative. Dems just need to be the grownup party next week and that will be the contrast set up as we go into, shudder, the actual election season.
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [24 favorites]


Surrounding himself with yes men is all that Trump does, and he couldn't even do that right.
posted by ckape at 9:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


I was just reminded why I don't watch SNL anymore.
posted by wallabear at 9:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Josh Marshall makes it clear that the "vote your conscience" language was in the embargoed copy of the Cruz speech that went out to the press in advance.
posted by zachlipton at 9:13 PM on July 20, 2016 [13 favorites]


Did Cruz's speech differ at all from the one that was published ahead of the convention, or was it pubbed ahead of the convention like Gingrich's?
posted by mynameisluka at 9:14 PM on July 20, 2016


Thanks, zachlipton, you just answered my question.
posted by mynameisluka at 9:14 PM on July 20, 2016


I know that three dimensional chess is typically the wrong answer, and I'm welcome to being proved wrong, but doesn't Cruz's non-endorsement play directly into Trump's tiny, ill-formed hands?

Nope, the dead-enders were going to vote for him anyway. But this might make the undecided people (I know, the concept is insane, but they exist) and the evangelicals that were going to hold their noses and vote for Trump think twice.

AND it will piss off Trump and cause him to do something stupid tomorrow, like spending half of his acceptance speech insulting Cruz.

Best of all, it took away their headlines. They were hoping "Pence emerges as powerful VP" or "Trump surprisingly doesn't kill anyone" or "Another of Trump's kids endorses him" would be today's headline, instead we get big pictures of Cruz on the front page.
posted by mmoncur at 9:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [32 favorites]


The best part of The Ted Wedding is right after he tells voters not to stay at home in November, but before he launches into "vote your conscience," he takes a beat and laughs a little to himself under his breath.
posted by sallybrown at 9:16 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


Although in the back of my mind I also still have that ever-present unshakeable feeling that Cruz is some unknown evil not of this earth who adapts its techniques and steadily gains more and more power.

Oh, nah. His political career is done now. Nobody is gonna back him if they can't count on him not to ratfuck them later. Sheldon Adelson apparently refused to let Cruz enter his suite at the arena, for instance.

It's the Ted Wedding in more ways than one.
posted by tobascodagama at 9:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


More on Meredith McIver, including the last time she was made to take the blame for the Trumps:
It was not the first time Ms. McIver was faulted for lines she wrote for the Trumps.

In a 2007 deposition, Mr. Trump was grilled over whether he had overstated his debt by billions of dollars in a couple of his co-written books to make his comeback seem more significant.

He acknowledged the exaggeration, but the mistake, he said, was not his. “This is somebody that wrote it, probably Meredith McIver,” Mr. Trump said.
posted by zachlipton at 9:17 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


Conservative delegates were fighting with Trump delegates on the floor. Cruz just fucked party unity and endured a Clinton victory. YESSSS.
posted by corb at 9:19 PM on July 20, 2016 [84 favorites]


And Trump gave a terrifying interview on foreign poicy tonight:
He even called into question whether, as president, he would automatically extend the security guarantees that give the 28 members of NATO the assurance that the full force of the United States military has their back.

For example, asked about Russia’s threatening activities that have unnerved the small Baltic States that are the most recent entrants into NATO, Mr. Trump said that if Russia attacked them, he would decide whether to come to their aid only after reviewing whether those nations “have fulfilled their obligations to us.”

He added, “If they fulfill their obligations to us, the answer is yes.”
This bit also makes me feel safer all right:
Mr. Trump said he was convinced that he could persuade Mr. Erdogan to put more effort into fighting the Islamic State. But the Obama administration has run up, daily, against the reality that the Kurds — among the most effective forces the United States is supporting against the Islamic State — are being attacked by Turkey, which fears they will create a breakaway nation.

Asked how he would solve that problem, Mr. Trump paused, then said: “Meetings.”
posted by zachlipton at 9:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [21 favorites]


I don't like Cruz. But I know there were people who really did like Cruz. Who really did like Kasich. My best-case scenario for this coming election is that people like my mother, whose political opinions I find odious at the best of times, walk into the voting booth and leave that one question blank, telling themselves that surely their favored candidate will be back in 2020. I don't need them to vote for Clinton, or to stay home. I just want them to leave one box unchecked.

Not even just so Trump loses. Mostly, I want that to happen in sufficient numbers that I can believe my mother did not vote for Donald Trump when her children are half Mexican. Even if it's just a matter of plausible deniability. I want Cruz and Kasich to sway enough people just far enough to be able to stay civil to my mother for the rest of her life. I already had one parent die while we were estranged because of things outside my control. If I find out my mom voted for Trump, I don't think we come back from that, and this is the most hopeful I've been about getting through this... for awhile, now, anyway. Awful as it is, this is all I've got. I need my mother to at least not feel great about this choice so she keeps her mouth shut, and I need Cruz to keep enough supporters that I can believe that my mother preferred him to a guy who thinks what the Valley needs is a wall.
posted by Sequence at 9:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [29 favorites]


It's tricky, though. 99% of the time, "vote your conscience" at the GOP convention would be shorthand for "vote for the GOP nominee!" to GOP convention attendees. It reads as pretty innocuous in the written text; the twist of the knife is all in the delivery.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 9:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


More in depth reporting indicates the most bizarre possible scenario: they saw the speech and did nothing.

I take back what I said earlier, with a slight reference to a book I often think of in discussing conspiracy theories: The Monster of Florence. Put briefly, the idea is that a conspiracy theory that makes the theorizer seem weak in the face of an impossibly well prepared enemy (e.g. new world order conspiracies describing 9/11) is often a way to rationalize power. It's easier to believe that the Bilderbergs orchestrated jets faking a controlled explosion at the WTC because it effectively enhances your own position as a westerner. It wasn't an ill formed terrorist cell catching you by surprise, it was your own Western government being too wiley for the press (but of course) not you to realise. It enhances your own position as well as your group position, and it ALSO shores up the forces of law and order by saying that it was an inscrutable conspiracy theory instead of gorss incompetence.

Well, for a campaign that's polling withing the margin of error to Hillary, maybe it's more assuring to think of Cruz pulling the ol' switcheroo as a massive conspiracy rather than pure unmitigated incompetence...
posted by codacorolla at 9:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]




Oh, nah. His political career is done now. Nobody is gonna back him if they can't count on him not to ratfuck them later. Sheldon Adelson apparently refused to let Cruz enter his suite at the arena, for instance.

Except: we have just witnessed that it is possible to win the Republican nomination by running against the "establishment" and with zero institutional and big-donor support as long as you have a fanatically loyal base of popular support.

Ted Cruz is many things but stupid is not one of them. He will be running the Trump playbook in four years, only with the conservative Protestant vote.

The Establishment -- the party institutions and the careerists and the caucuses, the whole apparatus of Republican power -- is smashed. They are unable to exercise power to achieve their desired aims.
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


Blame Meredith! Blame Meredith!
When you've plagiarised a speech
Or your debt claims overreach.
Blame Meredith! Blame Meredith!
She's not even a real person anyway!
posted by holgate at 9:26 PM on July 20, 2016 [22 favorites]


Cruz looked like the cat that got the cream through that speech. Trump won't be able to stop talking about this tomorrow during his own...verbal eruption.
posted by Excommunicated Cardinal at 9:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


MEREDITH was probably in charge of reading through the speeches for tonight.
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


I spent some time dealing with narcissists, and I have always wondered about the apparent contradiction that they say nice things about their kids, despite thinking they're the only important person in the world.

No, that's a legit narcissist characteristic. They tend to use their children as self-surrogates, living through their accomplishments. Of course the second the kid steps out of line, it's the total cold shoulder and abuse.
posted by threeturtles at 9:31 PM on July 20, 2016 [27 favorites]


More reports on Cruz's speech (but seriously, go read that stuff about NATO above, because that's actually about life-or-death situations for a lot of people):
Cruz told Trump of his decision not to give an endorsement at the GOP convention in a phone call two days ago, Cruz strategist Jason Johnson told the Associated Press.
...
Citing two anonymous sources, Time magazine reported the Trump campaign actively whipped the loud boos that washed over Cruz as he completed his address.
Claims Paul Manafort had the boos planned in advance.

I fear, to borrow a phrase, these guys knew exactly what they were doing. They just arranged for the complete shutdown of any moment of anything that could possibly read as dissent.
posted by zachlipton at 9:34 PM on July 20, 2016




*** THIS IS COMING FROM THE ASSHOLE THAT WANTED AND SIGNED A BILL FOR FUNERALS FOR MISCARRIAGES. ***

More: Indiana Gov. Mike Pence signed a law this year that mandated funerals for fetuses
posted by homunculus at 9:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]



It's pure kayfabe and people / and the media, are eating it up left and right. I don't see how anyone thinks this bullshit is a good thing.
For one Ted Cruz is the fucking asshole who almost shut our government down a few years ago and Donald Trump is turning our politics into a pro-wrestling match. Fuck this shit!
posted by yertledaturtle at 9:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


> I fear, to borrow a phrase, these guys knew exactly what they were doing.

I'm sorry, but no. Just no. Look at the headlines out of the Republican convention so far - someone tweeted that at least Ted Cruz managed to bury the Meredith McIlver story.

And Dealmaking Donald couldn't even get an endorsement in exchange for a prime-time speaking slot at his own convention? This is rank incompetence, political malpractice, total bullshit, Marshall's Razor (Trump's Razor) working overtime.
posted by RedOrGreen at 9:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [17 favorites]


It's pure kayfabe

Shades of Putin-esque staged democracy? Or is that giving them too much credit?
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:40 PM on July 20, 2016


OK, if the Cruz thing was a clever move by Trump it would be even dumber because it's not going to work as a positive for him. But if it was on purpose, then why would they come out immediately and claim it? If you're trying to play it to work up sympathy then immediately claiming it was orchestrated seems to completely undermine that.

Seriously, it's just a train wreck.
posted by bongo_x at 9:41 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]




Sorry I'm coming in with this so late, but that smarmy Pence fellow - did he actually manage to succeed in spending three hours (or however long that was) without saying a single new thing? After he was done bragging about his family I'd swear he spent the entire balance of the speech just regurgitating the past twenty years of talk radio talking points.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 9:42 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I detest everything about Ted Cruz. In many ways, he would have been a scarier nominee than Trump.

But damn, knowing that he was going to get strategically booed and still going out and giving the nominee the middle finger? I honestly feel like I could learn something from Mr. Cruz about how to give so few fucks whether people like me. (again, I detest every last other thing about him)

And even if the Trump camp orchestrated the booing, it was still a colossal fuck-up to let him go on stage to begin with. He let his VP get upstaged like no other VP in history.

Combined with all the other nights, I've seen student-led grade school pageants that were more deftly stage managed.
posted by dry white toast at 9:44 PM on July 20, 2016 [23 favorites]


Shades of Putin-esque staged democracy?
Nah- more like totally home grown, carnival barker, snake oil salesman bullshit.

(Youtube) The Battle of the Billionaires takes place at WrestleMania Donald Trump Vs Mr. McMahon

(Youtube) Mr. McMahon and Donald Trump's Battle of the Billionaires Contract Signing
posted by yertledaturtle at 9:45 PM on July 20, 2016


The more I think about it, the more impressed I am by Cruz's move. He stabbed Trump in the back, ensured he suddenly was politically relevant again, gets credit from the sane part of conservatives, and sets himself up for 2020. As one of his constituents, this feeling of near admiration is a really new and strange one. Of course I'm admiring him like I'd admire a really evil GOT character, but you know.
posted by threeturtles at 9:46 PM on July 20, 2016 [45 favorites]


Oh, and also, that report about Trump not backing NATO if Russia tries to annex the Baltic States: Europe is going to completely flip its shit when they wake up to that news tomorrow.

I've seen it mentioned in lowkey conversations quoted at the convention, but the deference and admiration Trump has for Putin should terrify any vaguely sane American. If Clinton is smart (and she's handled this whole thing pretty deftly so far), once real mano-a-mano campaign gets going in earnest, she should hammer Trump ceaselessly on this.
posted by dry white toast at 9:47 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


*read the words, don't make a nazi salute*
*read the words, don't make a nazi salute*
*read the wo...*
*finishes speech*
*oh fuck, I did it*
...
...
*google search* "how do sheriffs salute?"
posted by andoatnp at 9:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


Yeah, I just got a little hate-respect for Cruz, something I've never had an ounce of for the Oompa Loompa. I threw it out there as a prediction the other day, but still a little surprised.
posted by bongo_x at 9:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


OK, if the Cruz thing was a clever move by Trump it would be even dumber because it's not going to work as a positive for him. But if it was on purpose, then why would they come out immediately and claim it? If you're trying to play it to work up sympathy then immediately claiming it was orchestrated seems to completely undermine that.

Seriously, it's just a train wreck.


Yes exactly. It's hurting my head thinking through all the scenarios. Okay let's say they did know, allowed it to happen and orchastrated the booing as part of some sort of strategic theatre. Why did they think this was a good strategy? What is it supposed to accomplish? Why would they talk about how they knew it was going to happen right after it happened? It makes so little sense.
posted by Jalliah at 9:50 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Manafort is claiming that the NYT misquoted Trump (of course he's claiming that, he always claims that) about not supporting NATO allies. The reporter says there'll be a transcript soon.
posted by zachlipton at 9:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Terrifying thought for the night: once Trump is official official official candidate tomorrow, he starts getting security briefings.

Is he going to bother reading them? Is he going to realize he can't coast on this? Is he going to spill secrets?
posted by mrzarquon at 9:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


dry white toast: If Clinton is smart (and she's handled this whole thing pretty deftly so far), once real mano-a-mano campaign gets going in earnest, she should hammer Trump ceaselessly on this.

The problem is, some U.S. conservatives love Putin, because of his "decisive leadership, Christian values and old-school nationalism."

Hammering Trump on that will only reinforce the crazy conservative ManCrush on Putin and Trump.
posted by filthy light thief at 9:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Rattus coitorus.
posted by Oyéah at 9:51 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


My problem with the 'kayfabe' argument is that it assumes the American voting public has the sophistication of serious WWE devotees towards meta-narratives. And I have WWE devotee friends, so I'm not snarking at all by saying that.
posted by holgate at 9:52 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Ted Cruz is a piece of shit- That almost shut our government down. I hope this ruins him and harms Donald- but what do I know? All I know is that so far is this is the worst election year I have ever experienced, so I am not going to comment anymore because I can't manage to remain emotionally stable and participate in discussions about it.
posted by yertledaturtle at 9:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [10 favorites]


He'll get the security briefings. There's no law that says they have to tell him anything secret or dangerous.
posted by dilaudid at 9:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


In other news, Twitter is going nuts with condolences for Helen Thomas, who died in 2013. This is a really weird episode of life tonight.
posted by zachlipton at 9:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


"Vote your conscience" doesn't have quite the gravitas as "Have you no sense of decency?", but it will have to do for now.
posted by yesster at 9:55 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


More news coming in: Cruz's speech was different (depending on source) in either cadence or content from one he submitted to RNC, and that he had to be physically separated from RNC officials. Also, Sheldon Anderson turned Cruze away after his speech.
posted by codacorolla at 9:57 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Cruz: "Together we fought to pass the Civil Rights Act."

The Conservative Fantasy History of Civil Rights (via)
The mainstream, and correct, history of the politics of civil rights is as follows. Southern white supremacy operated out of the Democratic Party beginning in the nineteenth century, but the party began attracting northern liberals, including African-Americans, into an ideologically cumbersome coalition. Over time the liberals prevailed, forcing the Democratic Party to support civil rights, and driving conservative (and especially southern) whites out, where they realigned with the Republican Party.

Williamson crafts a tale in which the Republican Party is and always has been the greatest friend the civil rights cause ever had. The Republican takeover of the white South had absolutely nothing to do with civil rights, the revisionist case proclaims, except insofar as white Southerners supported Republicans because they were more pro-civil rights.

One factoid undergirding this bizarre interpretation is that the partisan realignment obviously took a long time to complete — Southerners still frequently voted Democratic into the seventies and eighties. This proves, according to Williamson, that a backlash against civil rights could not have driven southern whites out of the Democratic Party. “They say things move slower in the South — but not that slow,” he insists.

His story completely ignores the explicit revolt by conservative Southerners against the northern liberal civil rights wing, beginning with Strom Thurmond, who formed a third-party campaign in 1948 in protest against Harry Truman’s support for civil rights. Thurmond received 49 percent of the vote in Louisiana, 72 percent in South Carolina, 80 percent in Alabama, and 87 percent in Mississippi. He later, of course, switched to the Republican Party.

[...]

It is true that most Republicans in 1964 held vastly more liberal positions on civil rights than Goldwater. This strikes Williamson as proof of the idiosyncratic and isolated quality of Goldwater’s civil rights stance. What it actually shows is that conservatives had not yet gained control of the Republican Party.

But conservative Republicans —those represented politically by Goldwater, and intellectually by William F. Buckley and National Review — did oppose the civil rights movement. Buckley wrote frankly about his endorsement of white supremacy: “the White community in the South is entitled to take such measures as are necessary to prevail, politically and culturally, in areas in which it does not predominate numerically.” More often conservatives argued on grounds of states’ rights, or freedom of property, or that civil rights leaders were annoying hypocrites, or that they had undermined respect for the law.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:00 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


The Pledge, in part:
I (name) affirm that if I do not win the 2016 Republican nomination for president of the United States I will endorse the 2016 Republican presidential nominee regardless of who it is.
Agreed to by Ted Cruz foolishly and in arrogance, but a promise nonetheless. Lyin' Ted confirmed.
posted by save alive nothing that breatheth at 10:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Sheldon Adelson being one of the first people Cruz reaches out to after the speech tells you all you need to know about Cruz.
posted by downtohisturtles at 10:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


Agreed to by Ted Cruz foolishly and in arrogance, but a promise nonetheless. Lyin' Ted confirmed.

No honor among thieves.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


Neither Kasich nor Jeb! have endorsed Trump either. So that's at least three people who didn't live up to the pledge. I'm not a big fan of loyalty oaths. No-one should be forced to agree to something like that pledge.
posted by Justinian at 10:04 PM on July 20, 2016 [14 favorites]


Wait what there was a pledge to support each other no matter what by the republican candidates?? Which ones agreed to it?
posted by R343L at 10:04 PM on July 20, 2016


Really? It's better to endorse and help elect someone who you think is a horrible person, possibly destroy the world, because you made a pledge?
posted by bongo_x at 10:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


Is he going to spill secrets?

If I were in charge of the security briefings, it would be awfully tempting to strategically include technically-secret-but-not-in-an-important-way tidbits that Donald would be unable to resist revealing. Especially mid-debate when he's lost his temper because Hillary is disagreeing with him. (That said, this is probably why I shouldn't ever be in charge of anything like security briefings.)
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 10:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [15 favorites]


Which ones agreed to it?

All of them except Donald Trump.
posted by Justinian at 10:05 PM on July 20, 2016


My problem with the 'kayfabe' argument is that it assumes the American voting public has the sophistication of serious WWE devotees towards meta-narratives. And I have WWE devotee friends, so I'm not snarking at all by saying that.

The problem is that a large portion of the American voting public does not have the sophistication that WWE devotees have towards meta-narratives.
posted by yertledaturtle at 10:05 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


Everyone knew at the time that the only one they were trying to get to take the pledge was - Trump. The only reason for it was to head off a third-party or independent run by him.

So, a pox on all their houses.
posted by yhbc at 10:06 PM on July 20, 2016 [11 favorites]


All of them except Donald Trump.

He did, quite publicly.
posted by peeedro at 10:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, and Donald Trump all signed a pledge to support the party's nominee.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:07 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


He did, quite publicly.

Huh, I just remember him begging off during that debate. And not him later flip-flopping. Which was probably his goal all along.
posted by Justinian at 10:08 PM on July 20, 2016


Ted Cruz is a horrible human, but he just out-Trump'd Trump at his own party. It's going to be hard to sweep that under the rug. Trump cannot live with this.
posted by bongo_x at 10:09 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Ted Cruz, John Kasich, Marco Rubio, and Donald Trump all signed a pledge to support the party's nominee.

So did Jeb!, Fiorina, Huckabee, Santorum, and the others who I don't feel like looking up right now since they are all consigned to the dustbin of history.
posted by Justinian at 10:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


How bizarre that they all felt the need to extract that promise from each other.
posted by R343L at 10:10 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


'support' != 'endorse'.

I support Cruz dicking over Trump.
I do not endorse Cruz for anything else.

Cruz loves rules-lawyering, I understand, which is part of why he's so unlikable/likable enough. He's got space to maneuver.
posted by qcubed at 10:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [5 favorites]


Agreed to by Ted Cruz foolishly and in arrogance, but a promise nonetheless. Lyin' Ted confirmed.

Littlefinger even told them he'd betray them.
posted by dirigibleman at 10:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


The other brilliant part of what Cruz did: Trump's congenital inability to let go of the smallest slight means that he will probably spend a significant chunk of his acceptance speech tomorrow going after Cruz. Or he will so thoroughly carpetbomb free media during the run-up to the speech with return fire that it will drown out any other message he might hope to get across in the actual speech.

If you thought at he Trump camp couldn't let the plagiarism story die, you ain't seen nothing yet.
posted by dry white toast at 10:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


I'm not watching but did they close with Fleetwood Mac's "That's All For Everyone"?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 10:12 PM on July 20, 2016


Don't the candidates usually make themselves scarce during the convention to build up excitement for their acceptance speech? Trump's been there every day (and apparently flying back to NYC every night), right?
posted by kirkaracha at 10:15 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


The best part about all of the "scandals" at the RNC is that we don't have to look closely at the 2016 Republican platform.
posted by MetalFingerz at 10:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Man, the Republican commentators on CNN are seriously hurt by the Cruz thing, they are pissing themselves.
posted by bongo_x at 10:22 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


I've been traveling all day, so I just finished the thread. Thanks to all of you for the color commentary and congrats to corb on the #voteyourconscience win. See y'all tomorrow.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Not only did Sheldon Adelson turn Cruz away, according to CNN he invited Trump up as a double-down on the fuck you to Cruz. (This isn't necessarily egg in your face to the #nevertrumpers, though. Adelson had already pledged to support Trump in May. Despite recent reports that Adelson was remaining mostly silent on the subject of Trump insiders reported that they fully expected Adelson to stick with his earlier pledge despite tweeted Sheriff's stars and Netanyahu's condemnation of Trump's proposed Muslim ban.)
posted by xyzzy at 10:25 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Trump can't let anything go. I'll bet he spends tomorrow running against Cruz instead of Clinton. Or maybe he'll call into Fox News to tell them he'd support waterboarding Ted Cruz, or building a wall around him.

I can't wait.

Also I would support building a wall around Ted Cruz for what it's worth
posted by mmoncur at 10:27 PM on July 20, 2016 [12 favorites]


I've been following right-wing headlines during the convention, to see which controversies are part of the mainstream "bubble" and which aren't. Breitbart ignored Melania's plagiarism to focus on what a lovely speech it was, but tonight it has erupted in rage. Because the ultra-right hates nothing worse than betrayal.

Fox News is trying to be responsible and emphasize Mike Pence's ability to give a speech, and its how-is-this-a-thing arm Fox Nation followed suit, making this the first time Fox Nation's ever posted a headline that looked like levelheaded reporting. Which is hilarious. I wonder if Fox will attempt to ignore the Cruz thing altogether; while CNN has to cover every faux outrage Fox generates, to seem "balanced", Fox doesn't have to play ball back. But I bet that that just outrages certain Trump-lovers even more.

Please Donald Trump please take the bait. Do it as a personal favor to me. Please.
posted by rorgy at 10:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


I realize you all live commented the Ingraham "gesture" but wow does this picture imply a narrative, even if unintentionally.
posted by R343L at 10:29 PM on July 20, 2016 [19 favorites]


I guess my main question is what is more frightening out of this duality: that the RNC has planned this whole thing, or that nearly half the country supports an incompetent fascist who would allow such a thing to happen?
posted by codacorolla at 10:30 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Is there any chance Cruz advises his supporters to vote Clinton for president and Republicans for Congress?
posted by bukvich at 10:31 PM on July 20, 2016


That's it for me friends: Hamilton is blasting.
posted by blessedlyndie at 10:32 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


No chance Cruz would endorse Hillary.
posted by Drinky Die at 10:34 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


How in the world do they think this doom and gloom thing is going to win them elections? Guy on CNN brought up how depressing this convention has been, crazy woman goes off arguing that this really is the worst time in the worst place on Earth. Billy Baldwin is being the voice of reason.
posted by bongo_x at 10:35 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Given tonight's events, the title for tomorrow's thread has to be: "If you’ve got something to say / Name a time and place / Face to face"
posted by zachlipton at 10:37 PM on July 20, 2016 [8 favorites]


I should have tried to speak at the convention, because apparently they would have let me.
posted by bongo_x at 10:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


I'm partial to, "Weehawken. Dawn. Guns. Drawn."
posted by Superplin at 10:39 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


For reasons I don't understand, I looked at Trump's Twitter feed. He apparently felt the need to deny that he offered Kasich the job of VP. It's just unbelievable.
posted by R343L at 10:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


I guess my main question is what is more frightening out of this duality: that the RNC has planned this whole thing, or that nearly half the country supports an incompetent fascist who would allow such a thing to happen?

Half the country thinks patriotism means singing I'm Proud To Be An American on the fourth of July, and thinks politics is too labyrinthine and exhausting to bother knowing what the facts are. So they stick with the slogans they grew up with, either yelling em at people or just sidling out of political conversations when they might occur, and the sort of demon that only grows out of our collective blind spots explodes into being.

This is not about individuals. It's never about individuals. It's a system that broke in the eighties breaking further over time and not being fixed.

The band Half Man Half Biscuit wrote a song at the turn of the century that's been stuck in me ever since I heard it a couple years back. Amazing how relevant a song about Britain in 1999 feels perfectly relevant tonight. It ends with these stanzas:
I’m incredibly bored with the word “millennium”.
I’m with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Millions now earmarked will later be wasted.
Her Majesty, marvellous, Mother – The Musical,
the fireworks lighting up the Houses of Parliament.
Death in Trafalgar Square, death in the armchair
of cliched old spinsters who’ve never been loved.
Every day is Australia Day,
“Sons and Daughters” and “Home and Away”,
and then the news comes on and the sound goes down
‘cos she can’t be bothered with all them politicians,
they’re all just a bunch of flaming drongos...

She died with her telly on, eighty-seven and confused,
with not enough hospital beds ‘cos all the money’s been used
on the end of the century party preparations.
And they reckon that the last thing she saw in her life was
Sting, singing on the roof of the Barbican.
Sting, singing on the roof of the Barbican.
(The entire band's oeuvre is maybe the single most thorough inquiry into how contemporary society is broken, and how all the broken bits fit together if you look at it the right way. It is also fucking hilarious. If this election is making you feel distraught, I cannot recommend them enough: they mop up all my cynicism and depression and weariness and repurpose it into a kind of wry eagerness to see what I can do. And they're so era-obsessed that I think they're timeless—their early nineties stuff resonates with me as much as their album just two years back does.)
posted by rorgy at 10:49 PM on July 20, 2016 [20 favorites]


Omg also the "cover" photo for trump's account is a really poorly stitched together collage of him and pence and some words. The style and color theme does not match other logos of imagery I've seen. Why must the trump campaign be fractally unbelievable?
posted by R343L at 10:54 PM on July 20, 2016 [7 favorites]


I think we are watching the wheels come off right now. Commentators are openly mocking the Trump campaign. My dreams are coming true.
posted by bongo_x at 11:01 PM on July 20, 2016 [18 favorites]


R343L, I could write a thesis on this election cycle's war on graphic design and typography from both sides of the aisle. I miss Obama's design team. Whatever else has happened since that youngish man was elected in 2008, I never found myself weeping over his campaign's typography, logo design, or Photoshop skills. (Hillary's logo is a disaster of mixed messaging and the less said about the brief appearance of the "TP" penetrative logo from the Trump camp, the better. I kinda liked the Bernie hair+glasses tee shirts, though. Cute.)
posted by xyzzy at 11:02 PM on July 20, 2016 [9 favorites]


I'm partial to, "Weehawken. Dawn. Guns. Drawn."

"Trump? Since when have you been a Democratic Republican?"
"Since being one put me on the up and up again"
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:03 PM on July 20, 2016 [4 favorites]


"Trump? Since when have you been a Democratic Republican?"
"Since being one put me on the up and up again"


We covered that one back when Cruz dropped out

I'd also like to see "But they don’t have a plan, they just hate mine!" for one of next week's threads.
posted by zachlipton at 11:11 PM on July 20, 2016 [6 favorites]


I think we are watching the wheels come off right now. Commentators are openly mocking the Trump campaign. My dreams are coming true.

I wonder (in my wildly optimistic dreams) if they were holding back that stuff because they knew the bigger audience wouldn't be watching the political stuff until now.

I'm cautiously optimistic that Trump's not going to be getting that post-RNC bump in the polls.
posted by mmoncur at 11:12 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


I could write a thesis on this election cycle's war on graphic design and typography from both sides of the aisle

I just noticed Trump's team has started producing content for his twitter like this, which really looks like a terrible copy of what Clinton has been doing (example). It's bad fonts, weird split-screen effect, and looks bad on mobile. SAD.
posted by peeedro at 11:15 PM on July 20, 2016


That is terrible. My 10 year old could make a better PowerPoint than that.
posted by Windopaene at 11:18 PM on July 20, 2016


I just watched the video of Cruz's speech. When he said "I appreciate the enthusisasm of the New York delegation" I got chills. Under the circumstances that is an extremely sick burn. That's like when one of the House of Commons members calls the Prime Minister "the gentleman" instead of "the right honorable gentleman." I fucking loathe Ted Cruz, but that was an act of defiance.
posted by KathrynT at 11:21 PM on July 20, 2016 [26 favorites]


I fucking loathe Ted Cruz, but that was an act of defiance.

That is a very low bar.

An act of defiance would have been to go on stage and say "ARE YOU PEOPLE INSANE? THIS MAN IS A NARCISSISTIC BLOWHARD!"

I mean, they booed him anyway. Might as well be hung for a sheep rather than a lamb.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 11:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [16 favorites]


As I go to sleep tonight, I am hoping that "openly mocking the Trump campaign" will become more and more acceptable to the mainstream media as the days and weeks go on.
posted by yesster at 11:23 PM on July 20, 2016 [1 favorite]


Band now playing "Eminence Front."

They should do "Eton Rifles"
posted by thelonius at 11:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


still not over how effective and lovely that new Clinton slogan is.

(also i wish i could favorite "fractally unbelievable" a thousand times)
posted by you're a kitty! at 11:24 PM on July 20, 2016 [2 favorites]


Hail Hydra
posted by Artw at 11:28 PM on July 20, 2016 [3 favorites]


Hmm, it looks like Eileen Collins (the astronaut) also omitted the endorsement of Trump that was planned for her speech. Info here, video here.
posted by flug at 11:33 PM on July 20, 2016 [