COVERED IN BEES
July 21, 2016 10:23 AM   Subscribe

 
Well his first problem is keeping bees at an apiary. Bees and apes do not get along. Look it up. /science
posted by beerperson at 10:32 AM on July 21, 2016 [26 favorites]


i want an army of trained bees
posted by poffin boffin at 10:37 AM on July 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


we get it, your colony vapes
posted by griphus at 10:39 AM on July 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Did you know? The word "beekkeeper" is actually the only word in the english language with three sets of double-letters in a row!
posted by Greg Nog at 10:40 AM on July 21, 2016 [26 favorites]


Keeping Beeks ain't easy, yo.
posted by Chrischris at 10:44 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


Bees are so neat
posted by The Whelk at 10:48 AM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Yes, and beekkeepper is the only one with four!
posted by blue_beetle at 10:49 AM on July 21, 2016 [11 favorites]


What about Missiissiippiiii
posted by beerperson at 10:49 AM on July 21, 2016 [10 favorites]


relentlessly portraying bees as villains in countless B-grade horror movies, as well as tender coming-of-age classics like My Girl, in which a swarm of bees fatally attacks a young Macaulay Culkin. More positive representations, like Jerry Seinfeld's Bee Movie, have been few and far between.

Ridding the world of Nic Cage was positively received.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:52 AM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


How do they get them off of the honey nut cheerios? More vaping?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:53 AM on July 21, 2016


KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMN HONEY!
posted by Naberius at 10:53 AM on July 21, 2016 [5 favorites]


Honest question that I can't find an answer to: Do beehives full of thousands of bees have a smell? Do they just smell like honey? Any off-smells? Seems like that many animals of any kind concentrated in a small area would have a particular smell.

So if anyone has direct experience, let me know. Thanks.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 10:55 AM on July 21, 2016


I thought the queens were in the apiary.
posted by atoxyl at 10:57 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I buy this dude's honey and it's pretty good. Probably going to kill me one day though.
posted by thecaddy at 10:59 AM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


Do beehives full of thousands of bees have a smell?

It's an oddly bready combination of beeswax, honey, propolis resin, and herbal spicy notes over the smell of unpainted wood.
posted by sonascope at 11:05 AM on July 21, 2016 [13 favorites]


Bees are good. Bees are important.

But I haven't ever visited a friend of mine at her house because she has Bees and what if they crawl into my ears
posted by threetwentytwo at 11:08 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


i want an army of trained bees

I want an army.
I want an army of trained bees.
I want an army of bee sized apes.

I want an army of ape sized bees.
posted by Fizz at 11:09 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


And if you complain
O-o-once more
You'll meet an
Army of bees
posted by beerperson at 11:11 AM on July 21, 2016 [11 favorites]


I buy a lot of ludicrously expensive local queens honey cause YOU GOTTA SUPPORT THE BEES

my building is never gonna let me run a hive in the roof damnit
posted by The Whelk at 11:11 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


I get that bees are generally benign and actually beneficial to the environment and make honey (!). However, anytime 50,000 living things congregate together in one place whether that is a Def Leopard concert or an apiary, I am concerned. Strength in numbers and all that.
posted by AugustWest at 11:11 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


"If the Def Leppard fan disappears from the surface of the earth, man would have no more than four years to live." -- Albert Einstein
posted by Naberius at 11:16 AM on July 21, 2016 [14 favorites]


Did you know that Def Leppard fans communicate with a - well, I wouldn't call it sophisticated, but it is dance.
posted by The Gaffer at 11:21 AM on July 21, 2016 [9 favorites]


It's a dance and there is certainly smoke involved.
posted by AugustWest at 11:22 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


That said, I've been trying to figure out how to get a colony of native bees going in my yard. The fools down at city hall only prohibit the keeping of honey bees.
posted by The Gaffer at 11:23 AM on July 21, 2016


Did you know? The word “beekkeeper” is actually the only word in the english language with three sets of double-letters in a row!

Bookkeeper
posted by Going To Maine at 11:23 AM on July 21, 2016 [7 favorites]


Ah, dang.
posted by Going To Maine at 11:24 AM on July 21, 2016 [7 favorites]


But I haven't ever visited a friend of mine at her house because she has Bees and what if they crawl into my ears

if you keep your ears clean enough that no flowers are growing inside of them i think you will be okay
posted by poffin boffin at 11:24 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


The word "beekkeeper" is actually the only word in the english language with three sets of double-letters in a row!

What about "balloonnapper?"
posted by phooky at 11:35 AM on July 21, 2016 [20 favorites]


The fools down at city hall only prohibit the keeping of honey bees.

My city just legalised keeping bees. Apparently they passed a by-law a couple of years ago that made it illegal by accident. The by-law prohibited poisonous pets from leaving your property, and nobody realised that bees are classified as poisonous insects.

The new by-law says you are allowed to keep bees as long as you are a certified apiarist. Which according to my provincial beekeeper association is just a matter of filling out a form and reporting the number and location of hives you have every year. No fees or prerequisites.
posted by papercrane at 11:38 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Do beehives full of thousands of bees have a smell?

my husband kkeeppss beess in our backyard. the smell is much like sonascope describes, its quite lovely and somehow very intimate.
posted by supermedusa at 11:41 AM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


nobody realised that bees are classified as poisonous insects

That's not true. You can eat hundreds of them with no ill effect.
posted by CaseyB at 11:43 AM on July 21, 2016 [9 favorites]


if you keep your ears clean enough that no flowers are growing inside of them i think you will be okay

no deal
posted by griphus at 11:43 AM on July 21, 2016 [6 favorites]


Inaccurate terminology on my part. I should've said "venomous insect".
posted by papercrane at 11:47 AM on July 21, 2016


Do beehives full of thousands of bees have a smell?

Heaven. Smells like heaven.

I'm assuming heaven smells like honey.
I'm also assuming there's a heaven?

posted by slipthought at 11:50 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I love bees, and would love to learn to keep them someday. I love sticking my face close up to bushes where tons of bees are harvesting pollen (especially big bumblebees). They're so cute! The last time I went apple picking, i got to smell a hive up close. The orchard had hives spread out amongst the trees. I got right up close to one. The sound and smell was incredible!

It always pisses me off when I see someone swatting at a bee buzzing around. I just let them land on me. You don't fuck with them, and they won't fuck with you.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 11:50 AM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Did you know? The word “beekkeeper” is actually the only word in the english language with three sets of double-letters in a row!

Bookkeeper


Tell that to the tattooees's many children
posted by jamjam at 12:07 PM on July 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


the smell is much like sonascope describes, its quite lovely and somehow very intimate.

Bee pherreemmoones smell intimate.
posted by carsonb at 12:07 PM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


...why isn't he wearing gloves?
posted by radicalawyer at 12:24 PM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


maybe he likes the tickle of little bee toesies on his hands

don't kinkshame
posted by poffin boffin at 12:34 PM on July 21, 2016 [18 favorites]


I just googled and my new city allows bee keeping.

I have no intention of keeping chickens so bees might be in my suburban yard's future.

Info for other Minnesotans.


beeeeeeeeeeeees.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:48 PM on July 21, 2016


I assume the title references this excellent bit from Eddie Izzard, and I for one appreciate the excuse to watch it again.
posted by cubby at 1:03 PM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


chickens and bees go well together!! chickens love to eat bugs (by which I mean the dead bees on the ground). when we have unneeded brood comb we bring it to our neighbors boks. they smell it from far away and start squawking like maniacs. they pick the larvae out of the comb with surgical precision in seconds!
posted by supermedusa at 1:24 PM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Beez iz good peeps. I like beez.

I like honey, too. But mostly I like beez in my flowers beeing happy.
posted by BlueHorse at 1:28 PM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


I beelieve that neighbor would be fine as long as he's smoking his cigar continuously on his deck. Beekeeppeerrs use smoke to calm bees.
posted by bendy at 1:28 PM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Also, here is my uncle's sister's(?) Ted talk on why bees are disappearing.
posted by bendy at 1:30 PM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


...why isn't he wearing gloves?

Honey bees don't really want to sting. When they sting, they die. It literally rips out their intestines.
When a honey bee stings a person, it cannot pull the barbed stinger back out. It leaves behind not only the stinger, but also part of its abdomen and digestive tract, plus muscles and nerves. This massive abdominal rupture kills the honey bee. Honey bees are the only species of bees to die after stinging.
Not wearing gloves improves your dexterity, making it easier for you and safer for the bees when handling the hive.

The bee most likely to sting you is a guard bee, who spends its time mostly guarding the entrance, which is not a place the beekeeper puts his hands. So, if you get stung, it's more likely to be from a flying bee, not a bee you may touch.
posted by slipthought at 2:09 PM on July 21, 2016 [5 favorites]


We planted a tree in our back garden a few years back, a Euodia (also known as Tetradium). It flowered last year for the first time, lots of tiny, almost unnoticeable white flowers. Not a big deal.

Then one day I heard a droning noise, and realized that the flowers were covered with hundreds of bees, enough that you could hear them in the house. And when the wind blew and the branches shifted, for an instant there was a cloud of bees separated from their flowers.

And that's when I found that it is also called the Bee Tree (which being a programmer and a nerd makes me laugh).

These trees are very neat.
posted by 43rdAnd9th at 3:30 PM on July 21, 2016 [7 favorites]


Another interesting fact about the word beekeeping is that it's made up of two separate words, Beek and Eeping. What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is beekeeping.
posted by Mchelly at 3:45 PM on July 21, 2016 [4 favorites]


Beads?
posted by mudpuppie at 3:54 PM on July 21, 2016 [3 favorites]


What a nice video. Thanks so much for posting.
posted by 4ster at 4:11 PM on July 21, 2016


It leaves behind not only the stinger, but also part of its abdomen and digestive tract, plus muscles and nerves. This massive abdominal rupture kills the honey bee. Honey bees are the only species of bees to die after stinging.

I've wondered for a while how to account for this, in the sense of how could it possibly be selected for, and the best I've been able to come up with relates to the likelihood of intact bees interfering with each other when they would try to sting certain potential hive-raiders.

For example, probably not much more than a score of bees could sit on a bear's nose and sting it all at the same time, but since they can sting and leave their stinger behind, complete with the venom sack and muscles enough to continue to pump venom, effectively hundred's of bees could be stinging a bear's sensitive nose simultaneously.

However, there's always the possibility that some paradoxical behavior is not selected for at all, and may well even be selected against, if it's a side or knock on effect of something that is strongly selected for.

And the page referred to by the Wikipedia article behind slipthought's first link talks about a startling behavior I'd never heard of before, and which has an unmistakable family resemblance to the abdomen-rupturing deposition of the sting as practiced by worker bees:
13. Male bees die upon mating.

The genitalia of honey bee drones pop out explosively at mating with a sound one can hear, paralyzing and killing them. Males of other species can and do mate more than once.
posted by jamjam at 4:13 PM on July 21, 2016 [2 favorites]


I have always wanted to keep bees. I wish this was something you could do out of a small 1BR apartment with no yard or roof access. Like bee window boxes.
posted by teponaztli at 4:15 PM on July 21, 2016 [1 favorite]


Sweet story.
posted by soakimbo at 5:15 PM on July 21, 2016


He has a wonderful voice and a wonderful cause. I would love to overcome my fear of bees so I could do what he does.
posted by Hermione Granger at 6:47 PM on July 21, 2016


I appreciated that he mentioned that a killed bee = pheromone production = bee aggro. Any vegan MeFites on? Would love to see a community-stamped vegan perspective on this, if such a thing is possible./not trolling
posted by christopherious at 8:42 PM on July 21, 2016


To like honey it's important to be sweet-toothed.
posted by unliteral at 8:55 PM on July 21, 2016




BEEES!! ಠ益ಠ

I think it would be nice to do this one day, maybe when I have my own place.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 2:04 AM on July 22, 2016


The genitalia of honey bee drones pop out explosively at mating with a sound one can hear, paralyzing and killing them. Males of other species can and do mate more than once.

me_irl
posted by beerperson at 5:14 AM on July 22, 2016 [3 favorites]


I appreciated that he mentioned that a killed bee = pheromone production = bee aggro. Any vegan MeFites on? Would love to see a community-stamped vegan perspective on this, if such a thing is possible./not trolling

I think honey is a contested issue.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:34 AM on July 22, 2016 [2 favorites]




jamjam, worker honey bees don't have offspring, so there's nothing selecting against worker death if it's to the benefit of the queen/hive.
posted by clew at 5:26 PM on July 22, 2016


The bee most likely to sting you is a guard bee, who spends its time mostly guarding the entrance, which is not a place the beekeeper puts his hands. So, if you get stung, it's more likely to be from a flying bee, not a bee you may touch.

Unless you live in the Southwest of the U.S. where we have Africanized bees and they can be pretty aggressive. I'm a beekeeper in LA and I've been stung a few times. We generally wear full suits and gloves anytime we're opening a hive.
posted by Sophie1 at 10:27 AM on July 25, 2016 [1 favorite]


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