Liquidity index of fillings carefully regulated

August 8, 2016 12:40 PM

Jason Torchinsky of Jalopnik has an idea. And it's one of those ideas that is definitely close to one of the ends of the brilliant-stupid spectrum: I Have Invented The Ultimate Food To Eat While Driving.

To sum up: start with bagel dough, which is "tough as hell", but also "chewy and delicious!" Make it the same size and shape as a 12-ounce can of soda, so as to fit in virtually any of the many cupholders arrayed throughout the modern automobile. Arrange four (yes, four) internal chambers of varying size -- the Main/Protein Chamber, Side 1 Chamber, Side 2 Chamber, and Dessert Chamber. Carefully choose foods with a liquidity/viscosity that ensures they won't squoosh out like the filling of a bad burrito:

The point is, you can pack a huge variety of stuff in such a vessel. Hummus and olives, chili and corn, molé chicken and Spanish rice, gumbo, couscous, whatever. Hot, cold, it really doesn’t matter, as long as the basic rules are followed.

posted by Etrigan (92 comments total)

So, basically a modern pasty.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:43 PM on August 8, 2016 [19 favorites]

I had a Burger King Chicken Club while driving once which, unbeknownst to me, spilled most of its bacon out the bottom. I think that was the perfect food to eat while driving because I got surprise lap bacon at my destination.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:46 PM on August 8, 2016 [49 favorites]

Over thinking a dough cup of beans?

Taquitos had this covered.
posted by BrotherCaine at 12:47 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Paging Jim Gaffigan. Paging Jim Gaffigan. Jim Gaffigan to the cafeteria, please. This is a Hot Pocket emergency!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:47 PM on August 8, 2016 [7 favorites]

Sure, fill up a dense, chewy bagel superstructure with pork BBQ, baked beans, hummus, and peach cobber. That's totally not going to splootch all over the place the first time you bite into it.

The outer shell and the filling have to be of similar density. That is the only way this works as intended. Ultimately, pocketed fillings are always going to be points of failure. You need some kind of loaf where the binder and what would be the fillings are evenly distributed.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:50 PM on August 8, 2016 [9 favorites]

This Bon Appetit ham-and-pizza sandwich thing does not seem like a terrible idea.
posted by box at 12:52 PM on August 8, 2016

Sounds like Pizza Hut stuffed crust pizza, only with no center-of-the-pizza, just the stuffed crust.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 12:53 PM on August 8, 2016

There is no way I am putting anything in my mouth that has directly touched the insides of my cupholders. The cupholders in my car are deep, knobbly on the inside (making them very difficult to clean) and sit between the center console and gearshift where they're pretty much maximally exposed to whatever dust and debris and gunk is going on in the car at any given time. They are pretty much the filthiest part of my car's interior save perhaps for underneath the seats. Anything that goes in there needs to have some sort of packaging.

This is why burritos and gyros are potentially pretty ideal. A well-made version of either one of these, with its convenient tear-as-you-go foil wrapper, is a pretty clean meal. Also sandwiches without too much liquid, like a bacon-egg-and-cheese on a bagel from Dunkin' Donuts, which can be eaten directly from its wax paper wrapping. Those things hold together pretty well and the wrapper catches any residual crumbs. Had one this morning while I was out visiting jobsites; they're pretty much mandatory if you work in construction in New England.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 12:54 PM on August 8, 2016 [10 favorites]

You need some kind of loaf where the binder and what would be the fillings are evenly distributed.

this is olive loaf and it is an abomination unto the lord
posted by poffin boffin at 12:54 PM on August 8, 2016 [18 favorites]

The names are the closer here.

"Fillinders"

That's not dystopian, no, not at all.
posted by GuyZero at 12:55 PM on August 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

surprise lap bacon

$20, same as Cracker Barrel
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 12:56 PM on August 8, 2016 [12 favorites]

No, the filling has to be mixed in with the dough before cooking to avoid spills. Like the raisins in raisin bread. I think it could be done. Tamales come close, but they lack structural integrity. The chambers concept is a recipe for disaster as spelled out be previous comments.
posted by charlesminus at 12:56 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

But I think we can at least all agree that Hot Pockets are a sick goddamn joke.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:58 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Carefully choose foods with a liquidity/viscosity that ensures they won't squoosh out like the filling of a bad burrito

Your love is like a bad burrito
A bad burrito is what I need, whoa

posted by XMLicious at 1:02 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

just mix soylent with agar and cast it into solid nutri-bricks
posted by ryanrs at 1:04 PM on August 8, 2016 [23 favorites]

But I think we can at least all agree that Hot Pockets are a sick goddamn joke.

Well they are hot. So they're delivering on part of the promise.
posted by GuyZero at 1:04 PM on August 8, 2016

Maybe instead of a single four-chambered item, you could just have a little bag of four different kolaches from Kolache Factory.
posted by Wobbuffet at 1:04 PM on August 8, 2016 [7 favorites]

this is olive loaf and it is an abomination unto the lord

Loaving is gonna come back and it's gonna come back big. Mark my words

But I think we can at least all agree that Hot Pockets are a sick goddamn joke.

Regular Hot Pockets: no
Lean Hot Pockets: food crime
Cornbread-based limited edition Hot Pockets: SO GOOD
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:06 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

unless this is about the pizza cone i'm not interested
posted by boo_radley at 1:07 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

The perfect driving food is a bagel. A plain bagel Fresh bagel. I don't know why you would ruin it with a filling.
posted by AugustWest at 1:07 PM on August 8, 2016

I don't know why you would ruin it with a filling.

a moist filling obviates the need for a beverage to choke down the dry mouthfuls of bagelpaste
posted by poffin boffin at 1:10 PM on August 8, 2016 [8 favorites]

p soon we're all gonna be riding self-driving cars anyway, so we'll be able to enjoy fancy meals that require a knife and fork while they mow down pedestrians according to some ineffable ethical calculus
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:10 PM on August 8, 2016 [66 favorites]

Rather than bagel dough, what about using that really fluffy white stuff that surrounds the meat buns you can get in Chinatown? (It's also around red bean buns, but they are a sign of the coming food apocalypse and shall not be discussed.) That stuff is tough and springy enough that squeezing wouldn't eject the contents as easily.

Damn it, now I want meat buns.
posted by Hactar at 1:12 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

like really what if that old man was albert einstein and that little girl was gonna grow up to be margaret thatcher, what then MORALISTS
posted by poffin boffin at 1:12 PM on August 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

fancy meals that require a knife and fork

Oh! KFC, eh?
posted by howfar at 1:13 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Prison Tesla Loaf ^tm
posted by zippy at 1:14 PM on August 8, 2016 [8 favorites]

now i want a car with an automatic pierogi dispenser, ideally they would extend on a delicately articulated robot arm which would hold them in front of my face for optimal handsfree devouring

another arm has handi-wipes for after
posted by poffin boffin at 1:17 PM on August 8, 2016 [10 favorites]

also I could try to take the tiniest nibble of the dryest food and wind up with a grease smear on my shirt behind a wheel. I could be eating a communion wafer and it'd look like I got sprayed with bbq sauce when I got out of the car
posted by boo_radley at 1:19 PM on August 8, 2016 [25 favorites]

the perfect driving food would be a grande bologna sandwich latte with cheese whiz foam, and the straw is a hollow pepperoni stick and the cup is made out of deep fried macaroni and cheese
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:19 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

I pretty much only eat granola bars in the car. When I'm in my Cessna I get the same reheated chicken breast in a foil packet as everyone else.

The oven and coffee maker take up the whole back seat of the plane but sometimes you have to treat yourself.
posted by backseatpilot at 1:20 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

I could be eating a communion wafer and it'd look like I got sprayed with bbq sauce when I got out of the car

is this a carolina wafer or a texas wafer
posted by poffin boffin at 1:20 PM on August 8, 2016 [28 favorites]

Maybe you could all park up for lunch? I mean. Not if you're an ambulance driver on the way to the hospital but then you probably shouldn't be eating anyway.
posted by howfar at 1:20 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

I want french fries in the form of tetrahedrons. Not like tetrahedral tater tots though. More like six short fries framing the edges of the tetrahedron. That way none would fall between the seats.
posted by Kabanos at 1:21 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

poffin boffin: "is this a carolina wafer or a texas wafer"

St. Louis. Think crispy snoots.
posted by boo_radley at 1:23 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

so like fried caltrops which can also be used to foil pursuit
posted by poffin boffin at 1:23 PM on August 8, 2016 [6 favorites]

coming soon: carl's jr feedbag combos, just strap the bag to your face while you drive. be sure to upsize your seasoned curly fries!

carl's jr: fuck you, i literally cannot stop driving for 15 minutes to eat
posted by entropicamericana at 1:26 PM on August 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

I could be eating a communion wafer and it'd look like I got sprayed with bbq sauce when I got out of the car

"Take. Eat. This is My body, which is given for you. Dip it in the sauce in remembrance of Me. No mustard sauce please. Me H Me, we're talking Real bbq sauce, here!”
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:26 PM on August 8, 2016 [7 favorites]

*me departs immediately for Hell
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:27 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

carl's jr: fuck you, i literally cannot stop driving for 15 minutes to eat

...but I will, without fail, desperately need to stop within the hour to desecrate the nearest rest stop toilet
posted by a halcyon day at 1:28 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

TRUMP EATS HIS HOT POCKETS WITH A KNIFE AND FORK.
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:29 PM on August 8, 2016

If you enjoy eating and you enjoy driving, we've figured out a way to ruin both at once! For maximum efficiency.
posted by Western Infidels at 1:29 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

what if the drive thru was like an ez-pass where you go through a gate and food is launched at high speed directly into your slavering maw and a little sensor on your car means your visa is charged automatically

obviously steering wheels would have to be upgraded to give heimlich maneuvers when they sense drivers choking but i think it will be worth it in the long run, who doesn't want chicken nuggets fired at their face? idiots, that's who.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:30 PM on August 8, 2016 [10 favorites]

also the windshield wiper fluid reservoir could have a chain-restaurant-branded aftermarket attachment to dispense dipping sauces
posted by poffin boffin at 1:31 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: eject their searing hot contents into your crotch from the other end of their body-tube.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:31 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

i don't even have a car

i haven't read the article
posted by poffin boffin at 1:32 PM on August 8, 2016 [8 favorites]

poffin boffin: "so like fried caltrops which can also be used to foil pursuit"

also with wretching, yes.
posted by boo_radley at 1:35 PM on August 8, 2016

Our local grocery store used to carry something like this: frozen bags of tasty chicken wrapped in bagel dough. They were too delicious, healthy and convenient, so of course they were discontinued.
posted by straight at 1:36 PM on August 8, 2016

The new edible invention.
A penis (cross section, probably SFW)

Coincidence? I think not.
posted by chavenet at 1:38 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Designing food to fit a form factor as opposed to achieve a taste just seems like a bass-akward way to approach food. I also think shaping bagels into non-toroid forms isn't going to cook right.
posted by doctor_negative at 1:41 PM on August 8, 2016

Why do we even have drive-thrus anymore, though? Why not just place your order by Bluetooth, then have a drone fly out, verify your phone's GPS location, match your speed, and extrude food product directly into your mouth through the moon roof?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:42 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

It's a significant coincidence that a New and Relatively Hip bakery near me has brought to my attention the Klobasnek, which as well as having a great name and baked-in filling has A: pastry which is significantly denser than your average bread roll, making accidental tearing unlikely, and B: is a variation on the Kolache, which has a sweet filling, and thus can cater to both the main meal and the sweets.

Refinement is needed - it was not yet shaped into oblong forms - but I can attest that the Bread Technology is already there and we simply need to apply it.
posted by solarion at 1:45 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

Because I don't have a moon roof, that's why.
posted by Anticipation Of A New Lover's Arrival, The at 1:45 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh god, I hope Jeff Bezos doesn't read MetaFilter.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 1:46 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

also the windshield wiper fluid reservoir could have a chain-restaurant-branded aftermarket attachment to dispense dipping sauces

I know a guy who once ran his windshield fluid line back through the cigarette lighter in his truck and filled the reservoir with jack and coke. Which, while clever, also seemed quite dangerous.
posted by Lutoslawski at 1:55 PM on August 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

Can I just be a party pooper and comment on how fucking dangerous it is to eat while you're driving?
Keep your hands on the wheel and your eyes and mind on the road, please.

• According to a Lytx study in 2014, a driver who is drinking or eating is 3.6 times more likely to be in an automobile crash than attentive drivers who are not eating or drinking while driving.
• A study by Exxon Mobil of 1,000 drivers discovered that 70 percent of drivers eat while driving and 83 percent drink beverages when they are on the road.
• The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that eating and driving increases the likelihood of crashes by 80 percent. Additionally, 65 percent of near-miss crashes are caused by distracted drivers who are eating or drinking while driving

posted by signal at 1:56 PM on August 8, 2016 [13 favorites]

Bagel dogs with cheese are very much like this
posted by Lucinda at 1:58 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

i am officially summonsing you for unlicensed party pooping in a moving thread
posted by poffin boffin at 1:59 PM on August 8, 2016 [5 favorites]

Can I just be a party pooper and comment on how fucking dangerous it is to eat while you're driving?

Look, I get hungry driving around to hunt pokemon
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:59 PM on August 8, 2016 [11 favorites]

If the thread is moving you have to use hands-free pooping.
posted by Kabanos at 2:03 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

I always put the sandwich down to text, so this wouldn't change anything.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 2:04 PM on August 8, 2016 [6 favorites]

100% of inattentive drivers who are not eating or drinking while driving are still inattentive drivers. They're just reading or putting on eye liner or changing their pants or talking on the telegraph machine or playing Charades or banging or napping or otherwise paying zero attention to the road.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:08 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

The perfect drivings foods are nuts and jerky. When you're really, properly driving, you want the sort of stable, boring blood sugar range that typical, carby road food really fights against. And if you've really set down to drive, you want low residue foods, because your ability to eliminate afterward is powerfully inhibited by the fact that you may have spent 10, 12, 16 hours sitting as still.
posted by wotsac at 2:14 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

pretty sure IRFH is Jeff Bezos evil twin...
posted by supermedusa at 2:16 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

I won't normally drive and eat at the same time, but once in a dire emergency I ate a Bakesale Bettys chicken sandwich while driving over the bay bridge. bay area people who've had that sandwich feel free to stand in awe...I managed to get most of it in my mouth!
posted by supermedusa at 2:19 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

p soon we're all gonna be riding self-driving cars anyway, so we'll be able to enjoy fancy meals that require a knife and fork while they mow down pedestrians according to some ineffable ethical calculus

suddenly, those grey poupon commercials from the '80s won't seem so bizarre
posted by indubitable at 3:17 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

Supermedusa, did your car look like it had a slaw storm?
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:39 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was going to suggest bite-sized bagel spheres, but of course that's already a thing.

I am suddenly curious about driving-dining habits around the world now though. Stuffed bagel dough seems relatively new, but basically every other dough seems to have a stuffed form somewhere. Is anyone out there busting out ravioli or bao in the car?
posted by lucidium at 3:44 PM on August 8, 2016

This is genius. Fast food technology brings me so much joy. I'm getting worked up with ideas here.

Then again, I remember when an article about a guy who watched TV sped-up was met with dozens of appalled comments. Meanwhile, I was like, "Hey! I do that, too!" so I might be the weird one here.
posted by Don Don at 4:19 PM on August 8, 2016

Is anyone out there busting out ravioli or bao in the car?

can i interest you in the kickstarter for my breakthrough invention, the Raviolmobile™
posted by poffin boffin at 5:27 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Humbaovee^TM
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:35 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

now i want a car with an automatic pierogi dispenser, ideally they would extend on a delicately articulated robot arm which would hold them in front of my face for optimal handsfree devouring

another arm has handi-wipes for after
posted by poffin boffin at 1:17 PM

brb, gotta run down to the Patent Office before they close.
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 5:38 PM on August 8, 2016

包子
posted by yeolcoatl at 5:52 PM on August 8, 2016

Keep the bagel dough, it's definitely structurally sound. But nix the cupholder thing because that's dumb and cupholders are gross inside. Embrace the propensity for fillings to squeeze out of things. The more squeezable the filling, the better! And make sure that's filling, singular, none of this mix and match multi-chambered stuff.

Now you've got squeezable food in an edible container. The sky is the limit. The Go-Gurt paradigm lights the way to the future, just like you always suspected it would.
posted by jason_steakums at 6:23 PM on August 8, 2016 [4 favorites]

You can buy stuffed bagels from Bantam Bagels or from some Starbucks locations. Years ago I was experimenting with making them at home and found on the internet that someone was already doing it and was calling them "Unholies" which is a baller name.
posted by peeedro at 6:47 PM on August 8, 2016 [2 favorites]

Attention, drivers, the sqoon is for you.
posted by zippy at 6:48 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Just move to Puerto Rico. Your perfect tube food for driving is ubiquitous: alcapurrias, pastelillos, sorullos. (However, you may find that driving requires all the extra attention this convenience affords.)
posted by mubba at 6:52 PM on August 8, 2016

AugustWest: "The perfect driving food is a bagel. A plain bagel Fresh bagel. I don't know why you would ruin it with a filling."

Because protein is nice?

(Damn you ALL for the death of smoked salmon cream cheese. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!)
posted by Samizdata at 6:59 PM on August 8, 2016 [1 favorite]

Danger? The hell you say! A real driver, back in the day could steer with their knees while eating a salad and using a paper map and refill a mug from a thermos while driving a manual transmission and cup holders were either things you attached to the vents or slight circular indentations on the inside of the open glove box door. And bibs are not cool now? How are you supposed to eat a bone-in rib sandwich while driving without a bib?
posted by Mr. Yuck at 7:06 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

jason_steakums: "Keep the bagel dough, it's definitely structurally sound. But nix the cupholder thing because that's dumb and cupholders are gross inside. Embrace the propensity for fillings to squeeze out of things. The more squeezable the filling, the better! And make sure that's filling, singular, none of this mix and match multi-chambered stuff.

Now you've got squeezable food in an edible container. The sky is the limit. The Go-Gurt paradigm lights the way to the future, just like you always suspected it would."

Also, damn YOU for making me mourn Fizziks again, you heartless bastard!
posted by Samizdata at 7:06 PM on August 8, 2016

One time my wife and I were heading out on a road trip, and she was driving, and we were hungy so we went through a Panera drive through and she got soup, because that was what she was in the mood for. So, for Mrs. Bastard, Soup is the ultimate driving food. Because she didn't spill a drop.
posted by Cookiebastard at 7:08 PM on August 8, 2016

Mr. Yuck: "Danger? The hell you say! A real driver, back in the day could steer with their knees while eating a salad and using a paper map and refill a mug from a thermos while driving a manual transmission and cup holders were either things you attached to the vents or slight circular indentations on the inside of the open glove box door. And bibs are not cool now? How are you supposed to eat a bone-in rib sandwich while driving without a bib?"

Not exactly food related, but during a job hunt in a previous year (okay more than a year), I was talking about an interview on the phone (pre-Bluetooth) with a potential boss while taking notes on my Palm.

While driving.

Had I been more female and hungry, I could have hit the trifecta.
posted by Samizdata at 7:08 PM on August 8, 2016

> Maybe instead of a single four-chambered item, you could just have a little bag of four different kolaches from Kolache Factory.

Glad to see the fine art of Czech pastries is getting some representation. This is what I would call a solved problem, for people who've never had a kolache, it already provides the "warm food on the go." They can be eaten in 2-3 bites depending on size, easily grabbed out of the bag next to you, and come in sweet and savory varieties.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:53 PM on August 8, 2016

You know, I've heard that in Germany it's illegal to eat while driving. I'd always been under the impression that it was a driving safety thing, but now I'm starting to wonder if it's a human dignity concern.
posted by DoctorFedora at 11:58 PM on August 8, 2016 [3 favorites]

The answer to this is obviously hosomaki which can be kept in the chilled glove compartment, which are now apparently a feature of cars. You could have them in a tubular delivery system with pickled ginger and wasabi interspersed for those who like that.

It isn't illegal to eat or drink whilst driving in the UK, but it can be cause for the police to decide you are not in control of the vehicle depending on whether they are up to quota on convictions and whether they like your face.
posted by asok at 2:17 AM on August 9, 2016

I didn't realise how much a thing Car Eating was in America until I moved to the UK. I was conditioned by countless drives up and down the west coast from San Diego to San Francisco to Be Prepared. I made sure to cover all the food groups (salty Funyons, sour Haribo, sweet Mentos, savory beef jerky) and textures (soda and water).

So whenever we set out for a drive in the UK I task myself with with sourcing Driving Food. But dang guys, this island is SMALL. I've been in a car from London to Glasgow and never finished a bag of beef jerky. Car food is just not a thing here, no one is in them long enough.
posted by like_neon at 2:40 AM on August 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

I just want someone to invent a way to dunk French fries in ketchup while driving. It never works properly and you end up spilling your beer everywhere a lot of the time.
posted by chaz at 3:57 AM on August 9, 2016 [6 favorites]

Perhaps Burger King's upcoming Whopperito (buritoized Whopper) could work?
posted by ZeusHumms at 7:17 AM on August 9, 2016

ZeusHumms: "Perhaps Burger King's upcoming Whopperito (buritoized Whopper) could work?"

About 1/3 of the places I get breakfast burritos from just use french fries for potatoes.
posted by boo_radley at 8:52 AM on August 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

I have almost driven off the road and killed both myself and my fiancee. You'd think with such precious cargo I would have pulled over, but we were going to be arriving at midnight as it was. Muffuletta's are not good driving food. You'd think so, but the olive salad gets everywhere and the olive oil stains the upholstery.

This is a real problem, people.
posted by domo at 9:31 AM on August 9, 2016

Relevant AskMe, almost 4 years ago to the day.

My husband can eat salad, soup (with a spoon!), cereal with milk, pretty much anything in the car. I don't understand how, and I've seen him do it.

That Whopperito looks messy as heck to eat while driving.


On top of thinking that something can be eaten directly from the cupholder,
The cylinder needs to be tough, and forgiving of being dropped on a potentially gross car mat or carpet. Ideally, it should wipe clean with a napkin.

Ew, no. Plus, if you drop it after you start to eat it, you have a big chance for it to land filling-side down, which means all of the car crud's going to stick to that and be horrifying.
posted by Fig at 11:47 AM on August 9, 2016

Isn't a Whopperito just a Whopper Jr, as the Spanish -ito suffix is a diminutive? I would have called it el Whopperado. The -ado suffix is like a -ful or -load in English, from el puño (a fist) you get el puñado (a fistful) or from el barco (a boat) you get el barcado (a boatload). Why does Burger King not speak good spanglish?

Anyway, if it takes off expect Taco Bell to steal their thunder and sell the same thing with a proper name like XXL Grilled Stuft Burger.
posted by peeedro at 9:41 AM on August 10, 2016 [4 favorites]

Muffuletta's are not good driving food. You'd think so, but the olive salad gets everywhere and the olive oil stains the upholstery.

sounds like you need someone to invent the Muffurritoletta
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:05 AM on August 10, 2016 [2 favorites]