Clearly just an excuse for a cool URL

August 26, 2016 8:02 AM

Time to Statham Punch is a helpful reference if you want to know how long it takes in a given movie for Jason Statham to punch someone, "ideally in the face".

It currently doesn't reference Mr Statham's Shamen music video appearance, but the creator does welcome contributions.

posted by Stark (20 comments total)

Neat.

(It's too bad it alphabet sorts TTSP rather than, say, by amount of time.)
posted by paper chromatographologist at 8:16 AM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

Every Jason Statham Kick. Ever.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 8:18 AM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

There is something therapeutic in seeing someone get righteously punched right in the goddamn face. This is why Statham has a career: he's fantastic in delivering these moments as vicarious thrills.

Also recommended for righteous face-punching: Marvel's Daredevil and Banshee, which is the ne plus ultra of righteous face punching. Antony Starr is pretty much the Kiwi-born tv star version of Statham.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:25 AM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Every Jason Statham Punch. Ever.

And a pretty entertaining Shea Serrano piece on Statham.
posted by Etrigan at 8:37 AM on August 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

Needs another column: "is Statham wearing business attire?"
posted by bbuda at 8:38 AM on August 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

True story, I was once at The Ship in Soho for several hours on a balmy Saturday day (in the alley bit at the side) and Jason was there with a group of his friends also drinking during the day. For those who don't know it, it's a very, regular and slightly grotty in a good way pub. After eavesdropping for a good hour, I can confirm he seemed to be very, very pleasant.
posted by Damienmce at 8:52 AM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

paper chromatographologist, you can sort by amount of time by clicking on the column heading.
posted by czytm at 8:54 AM on August 26, 2016

actually, no you can't, my mistake
posted by czytm at 8:55 AM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

This is disappointingly incomplete list of Statham films, less than half of his oeuvre I would guess. That kick link has made up for it, good work Antihero. There's a whole lot of kicking in Transporter 2 it seems.
posted by biffa at 9:49 AM on August 26, 2016

I like how Crank comes out looking relatively restrained with a 43-minute TTSP.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 9:56 AM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Glad to see that mathowie found something to keep him busy.
posted by goatdog at 11:33 AM on August 26, 2016

I'm shocked there's no Statham punch in Snatch. That movie was SO PUNCHY.

Not listed on this excellent Statham punch reference so I don't know if there's any Statham punches thrown, but I must recommend The Bank Job, an incredible movie based on an absurd but real robbery possibly enabled by MI-5.
posted by mcstayinskool at 12:20 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think i've said this on here before, but Jason Statham is a genre of movie. Sort of like Jackie Chan basically invented his style of kung fu/slapstick action and doing stunts, Statham sort of just... Stathams up every movie he's in.

The existence of Crank is strong proof of this IMO. It's him parodying himself and his genre.
posted by emptythought at 12:23 PM on August 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

I think i've said this on here before, but Jason Statham is a genre of movie.

Jason Statham movies are for people who intellectually hate action movies but can't stop watching them.
posted by Etrigan at 12:59 PM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

Every Jason Statham Kick. Ever.

That door-kick from The Transporter has got to be one of the top three door-kicking scenes in all of cinema, easily.
posted by tobascodagama at 1:49 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Jason Statham movies are for people who intellectually hate action movies but can't stop watching them.

I don't think I can line up with this. As a pseudo-intellectual I find myself conflicted over action films, in so much as I have watched most of the significant and many of the insignificant ones produced in the last fifty years without finding many of them particularly nutritious. However, I worship Statham as a god.
posted by biffa at 2:49 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

See also the (inverse) video game review technique: time to crate.
posted by postcommunism at 2:50 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Having looked at many, but not all, of the videos on offer here, I can state the following:

This man will have many hip/groin issues later in life.
posted by eclectist at 5:27 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

This man will have many hip/groin issues later in life.

At 49, I'd say he's probably already at the "later in life" stage. That he is able to keep doing what he does at that age amazes me. I'm a year younger than him and I feel most of my years in body nearly every day.
posted by hippybear at 11:42 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Also recommending The Bank Job. It's Statham playing against type, and he's charming and (if I recall) funny.
posted by hippybear at 11:43 PM on August 26, 2016