Anne Boleyn was a Pointy. Jane Seymour was a ROUND.

August 26, 2016 10:09 AM

First, there was the extrovert/introvert binary. Then, came ask culture vs. guess culture. Now: are you round or pointy?
posted by katie (150 comments total)

Look, everyone on MeFi is a pointy.

EVERY
LAST
ONE
OF
US
posted by overeducated_alligator at 10:15 AM on August 26, 2016 [32 favorites]

A pointy would say that, of course.
posted by sparklemotion at 10:17 AM on August 26, 2016 [20 favorites]

Look, everyone on MeFi is a pointy.

I suspect not. Interesting dichotomy.

Although all these psychometric buckets... being a round ask orange INTP seems somewhat confining.
posted by GuyZero at 10:20 AM on August 26, 2016 [9 favorites]

it me
posted by phunniemee at 10:21 AM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

The Synesthesia Personality Type Indicator. "Ms. X is a typical round, greenish-yellow, B-flat personality type. She will do well in quiet office environments, or in the dental professions."
posted by Auden at 10:22 AM on August 26, 2016 [25 favorites]

Conversations with My Round Friend, by a Pointy

Round: can't wait for our trip!
Pointy: so can't wait! can't wait! should we order those swan innertube things or is that Over?
Pointy: oh...how should we deal with the Susie issue? I mean we invited Jan on the trip but we didn't invite Susie even though Susie invited us on that trip 4 years ago. I mean we haven't seen Susie in a while and she's probably away the weekend of the trip. But Jan is going to see her at their monthly ceramic class, or Bob is going to see her because Tim told me Bob and Susie are going to the movies tonight, and Jan told Bob about the trip.
Round: ...
Pointy: and do we need to get travel insurance?
Round: ...
Pointy: Round?
posted by sallybrown at 10:23 AM on August 26, 2016 [25 favorites]

Possibly related: Bouba/Kiki effect
posted by mhum at 10:25 AM on August 26, 2016 [11 favorites]

I couldn't be more round if you hooked a bicycle pump up to me.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 10:30 AM on August 26, 2016 [8 favorites]

I like to think Metafilter is a big tent kind of pointy.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:33 AM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

Woody or tinny?
posted by SansPoint at 10:36 AM on August 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

It was initially hard for me to even think about classifying myself as Pointy just because I am physically SO round.

But, the more I think about it (and that conversation by sallybrown was, I think, the tipping point), I conclude that I am probably a Low Pointy. The kind of Pointy that wants to be Round (and I'm thinking about Billy Crystal's high-maintenance/low-maintenance discussion in When Harry Met Sally here--I'm the worst kind).
posted by dlugoczaj at 10:39 AM on August 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

This reads like it was written by an Aquarius.
posted by beerperson at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2016 [30 favorites]

Man, that kind of duality is so square
posted by fallingbadgers at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2016 [14 favorites]

So how does that map to the Zöe/Zelda paradigm? On a related note, have we reached peak reductionist dichotomy yet?
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:42 AM on August 26, 2016 [14 favorites]

I'm a rointy.
posted by Windigo at 10:44 AM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Definitely a Pointy here, my husband is definitely a Round. He genuinely (in a very nice, not aggressive way) doesn't care what other people think about him. I sometimes wonder what that would be like.
posted by peacheater at 10:44 AM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Ok, I RTFA but I'm still not totally sure I get the distinction. The author was very into listing a bunch of famous people as examples but I don't know who most of them are--or at least I only know of them in name, not their personalities. Is it just boiling down to rounds are super chill and pointies are super not chill? I guess I'm having trouble understanding since I don't feel myself fitting into either of these categories and they don't seem to describe the people I know either. Team Dull Angles, represent!
posted by picklenickle at 10:44 AM on August 26, 2016 [32 favorites]

This thread needs some Harry Nilsson music
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:47 AM on August 26, 2016 [21 favorites]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there are some mixtures this doesn't capture well. But that's to be expected from a simple binary division.
posted by wildblueyonder at 10:49 AM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Do you see? Please tell me you see. Anne Boleyn was a Pointy. Jane Seymour was a ROUND. Princess Di was as Pointy as they come. Who is more Round than Camilla Parker-Bowles? No one, that’s who. Prince William? Pointy. Harry? So round! John Lennon? P.O.I.N.T.Y. Ringo Starr? Round, man. Beyonce is really very Pointy indeed, and I hope I do not need to tell you that Rihanna is a Round. Taylor Swift? Pointy. Channing Tatum is so Round it makes me laugh just thinking about it. Lead singers tend to be Pointy. Bob Marley was a Pointy. Bunny Wailer is basically an orb. Russell from Almost Famous is a classic, classic Round.

I have no idea what this means and it's halfway to being another language. Perhaps one spoken entirely in assumed shared references?
posted by CrystalDave at 10:50 AM on August 26, 2016 [33 favorites]

Round at work—happy to be left alone, get my tasks done, and make changes so I can get more done with less effort. Pointy on MeFi—please favorite this comment, join Heist Movie Club on FanFare, and mark my AskMe contributions Best Answer.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:52 AM on August 26, 2016 [16 favorites]

wait there's a heist movie club
posted by phunniemee at 10:54 AM on August 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

If we're going to get into personality typology, there's only one that's honestly illuminating of human nature: the Wiley Test.

"There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him."

Beyond this, little need be said.
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 10:54 AM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

How can I know if I am round or pointy without a quiz?
posted by maryr at 10:54 AM on August 26, 2016 [15 favorites]

How can I know if I am round or pointy without a quiz?

if you need a quiz you're a pointy

that's the quiz
posted by mightygodking at 10:56 AM on August 26, 2016 [146 favorites]

Oh, this article did a good job at not being alienating. "Round" starts by sounding like quite the virtue ("pointies often want to be round, rounds like themselves just fine"), until you get to the part where the author says that rounds would likely find an investigation like this boring. And at that moment, those who are enjoying this article and enjoying the implications of it are given a pretty meaningful virtue that if you were to ask them, they would not give it up, either.
posted by SpacemanStix at 10:58 AM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

So tired of the endless quest to categorize all people according to some kind of criteria. But, then, I guess that's just something an ENTP would say, right?
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 11:02 AM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Possibly related: Bouba/Kiki effect

This is really fascinating. Also if Bouba/Kiki is not an obscure late 70s New Wave band then it should be.
posted by Dr Dracator at 11:02 AM on August 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

I read it twice and still don't really get it. I kind of get it, but how is this something that isn't covered by many other descriptions already?
posted by bongo_x at 11:02 AM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I have no idea what this means and it's halfway to being another language. Perhaps one spoken entirely in assumed shared references?

Myers-Briggs, when the walls fell!
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:05 AM on August 26, 2016 [86 favorites]

I read it twice and still don't really get it. I kind of get it, but how is this something that isn't covered by many other descriptions already?

I have no idea what this means and it's halfway to being another language. Perhaps one spoken entirely in assumed shared references?

I think you guys are Round. Don't worry about it. (Not that you were.)
posted by sallybrown at 11:07 AM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

OK but I would also really, really like a quiz. Not joking.

O Pointy birds, o pointy pointy, anoint my head, anointy-nointy.
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 11:09 AM on August 26, 2016 [24 favorites]

I'm round af but can extrude points on demand. A shoggoth of personality, if you will.
posted by fleetmouse at 11:10 AM on August 26, 2016 [14 favorites]

I was amused by the article after I managed to get myself off the pointy (ahem) rocks of Anne Boleyn and Jane Seymour, since Anne Boleyn would have been dead a lot faster if she had had that many points. But I think I'm more of a round...
posted by thomas j wise at 11:10 AM on August 26, 2016

I have billions of small points that from a distance look rather round.
posted by ian1977 at 11:12 AM on August 26, 2016 [13 favorites]

The only meaningful personality dichotomy is between the type of people who believe there are personality types, and those who don't.
posted by mary8nne at 11:12 AM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

The only meaningful personality dichotomy is between the type of people who believe there are personality types,

pointy

and those who don't

round
posted by sallybrown at 11:14 AM on August 26, 2016 [16 favorites]

I'm Hufflepuff.
posted by drezdn at 11:16 AM on August 26, 2016 [20 favorites]

I for one got this immediately and even though when I'm listening to rap music or giving other people advice I'm round, if I'm being honest I'm the pointiest point who ever pointed.
posted by bleep at 11:16 AM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was born a High Pointy, but life is a rock tumbler.
posted by lemonadeheretic at 11:17 AM on August 26, 2016 [36 favorites]

Hey guys I wrote a quiz for the people who need a quiz.
You can take it here.
posted by phunniemee at 11:25 AM on August 26, 2016 [34 favorites]

Look, everyone on MeFi is a pointy.

I like to believe I've softened my edges with age into a graceful curvy shapeliness
posted by infini at 11:30 AM on August 26, 2016

OMG, you guys. ERNIE and BERT.
posted by the_blizz at 11:35 AM on August 26, 2016 [44 favorites]

I feel like the best hope for a revival of Marxism in America is for someone to write a 1000-word blog post in hideous Internet Enthusiast dialect called "Bougie or Prole? These two categories will explain your ENTIRE LIFE." ("Does your ownership of the means of production enable you to extract surplus value from the productive process? SO bougie. Do you make a living by selling your labor power as a commodity on the market? Prole af. Taylor Swift = bougie, Ke$ha = prole. DO YOU GET IT? 💸💸💸")
posted by DaDaDaDave at 11:41 AM on August 26, 2016 [67 favorites]

My sister and I do this, except everyone is either a kitty or a puppy. Same concept, really, just cuter.
posted by everybody had matching towels at 11:42 AM on August 26, 2016 [10 favorites]

This thread needs some Harry Nilsson music

yeah i got this stuck in my head just from reading the post title
posted by burgerrr at 11:44 AM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

I was a bit tentative about clicking on this thread at work, since I had the more than reasonable expectation that it was about breast shapes.
posted by OurOwnMrK at 11:47 AM on August 26, 2016 [13 favorites]

I have no idea what this means and it's halfway to being another language. Perhaps one spoken entirely in assumed shared references?

You're clearly more of a Darmok than a Jalad.
posted by qntm at 11:49 AM on August 26, 2016 [14 favorites]

Metafilter is so pointy the very act of commenting bestows pointiness

(Besides I thought the real divide was Bert/Ernie. I am a moderate Ernie who displays extreme Burtness when placed near another Ernie)
posted by The Whelk at 11:49 AM on August 26, 2016 [11 favorites]

I think I get it. BoJack is pointy, Mr. Peanutbutter is round...right?
posted by kittens for breakfast at 11:51 AM on August 26, 2016 [9 favorites]

I am a moderate Ernie who displays extreme Burtness when placed near another Ernie

There it is! There it is. Finally an explanation. I'm a contact order muppet.

I'm pretty laid back until I'm around someone who sucks more than I do and then I lose my shit.
posted by phunniemee at 11:52 AM on August 26, 2016 [22 favorites]

I am round in most of the described senses, I guess -- I don't really get the references to specific people or dogs that I don't know -- but with some of these I am pointy enough to puncture balloons.

I'm probably a squiggle or something.
posted by Foosnark at 11:52 AM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Round in the streets, pointy in the sheets.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:58 AM on August 26, 2016 [43 favorites]

Besides I thought the real divide was Bert/Ernie.

Exactly. Pointy/Round.

(and I have never been ANYTHING but Bert so I can't imagine that I ever once thought of myself as Round).
posted by dlugoczaj at 11:59 AM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

Pointiness just seems like neuroticism? What am I missing?
posted by thetortoise at 12:02 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

I am asymptotic.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:04 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

That's what makes the diagnosis so difficult in your case.
posted by infini at 12:08 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

oh wait it need more ma in the middle
posted by infini at 12:08 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Although all these psychometric buckets... being a round ask orange INTP seems somewhat confining.

Literal Viking.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 12:10 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Wow phunniemee, What is the majority... Wow, for a change i'm not a minority

wait a minute, this is metafilter

*chases tail with puppy teeth*
posted by infini at 12:11 PM on August 26, 2016

I should probably RTFA
posted by infini at 12:11 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh good lord, I'm round as fuck.
posted by infini at 12:12 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

I'm pretty laid back until I'm around someone who sucks more than I do and then I lose my shit.
posted by phunniemee

I'm sorry but this is such an accurate self-description than I'm laugh-crying about it. Like actual had-to-take-off-my-glasses-to-wipe-away-tears.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:12 PM on August 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

Nipples are both round and pointy.
posted by jenkinsEar at 12:13 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

I'm a gumby not a pokey.
posted by srboisvert at 12:14 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Yeah, Anne Boleyn was pretty pointy...until, of course, the "you know."


*makes slicey gesture on neck*
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:14 PM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

OMG, you guys. ERNIE and BERT.

Laid back vs high strung? Type A vs Type B?

I usually find these things kind of interesting, I don't really get this one.
posted by bongo_x at 12:16 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm a very round control freak.
posted by Room 641-A at 12:19 PM on August 26, 2016

Metafilter is so pointy the very act of commenting bestows pointiness

So I guess when I occasionally comment I'm a little pointy.

But mostly I'll just be around.
posted by jaruwaan at 12:21 PM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

One of my friends in middle school once said that everyone is either a Sarah or a Kate, regardless of their actual given name. I don't know what the distinction is, but I think I am probably a Kate.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:23 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm pointy in the sense that I'm exactly like the lonely point person from Flatland.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:27 PM on August 26, 2016

One of my friends in middle school once said that everyone is either a Sarah or a Kate, regardless of their actual given name. I don't know what the distinction is, but I think I am probably a Kate.

If you don't know, you're a Kate.
posted by Etrigan at 12:29 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

At any rate, I'm reminded of the Brillist Institute from Too Like the Lightning, which seems to spend almost all of its time categorising people by long series of numbers describing their location along several axes of personality that nobody but Brillists can make any sense out of.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:31 PM on August 26, 2016

Pointies adore this game. Rounds find it quite tedious.

Well, guess that means I'm round......
posted by pjsky at 12:31 PM on August 26, 2016

Also.
posted by tobascodagama at 12:31 PM on August 26, 2016

lol most of the actual Kates I know are Sarahs, so funny
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:32 PM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

Initial thoughts:

-- Does that mean that "round" people are pointless?

-- Why bother reducing everyone to two oversimplified categories if you're going to start in with "high pointy" and "medium pointy" and all that. I mean, eventually you're just going to end up with the complexity and contradictions of actual life again, and the whole reason for this sort of article is to help people avoid all that difficult messiness.

-- The Arrested Development reference -- "You just grab that brownish area by its points and never let go!" -- I was expecting never showed up. Unless the thing about the dogs was a wink in that direction?

-- These two statements, in connection with one another, seem very telling to me in that "I am not a psychiatrist, and anyway ethical psychiatrists wold not make this assumption about the author" way:

"Rounds are chill. They are at the beach right now, wearing a cool kind of hat."

"I’ve been playing this game for years now, and I am not sick of it yet. As a Pointy, it’s in my nature."

-- This response is high pointy to the max.
posted by kewb at 12:32 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

I think I need an explanation to see how this is more than Type A (pointy) vs. Non-Type A (round).
posted by delight at 12:34 PM on August 26, 2016

No, but it is true, there are only 2 types of people in the world,--those who need closure and
posted by pjsky at 12:36 PM on August 26, 2016 [7 favorites]

I feel like I've spent a lot of my life trying to round out my pointiness, and I think what this person calls "round," a lot of buddhists might call "enlightened" or a lot of christians might identify as a spiritual "contentment" or "peace." I'm sure other faith traditions would have other words for it, and I'm sure my translations are imperfect, but I don't think (a) this author is the first to think about these categories, or (b) these categories are fixed.
posted by DGStieber at 12:36 PM on August 26, 2016

Kewb, your comment seems very needy
posted by kittens for breakfast at 12:37 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Kewb, your comment seems very needy.

*bows at the feet of the master*
posted by kewb at 12:40 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Two kinds of people walk into a bar. One kind says to the bartender, "I'll have what the other kind is having." The other kind is having a shitty day.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:41 PM on August 26, 2016 [10 favorites]

Pointy guess INTJ here.

I'm single.
posted by AFABulous at 12:42 PM on August 26, 2016 [5 favorites]

I think I need an explanation to see how this is more than Type A (pointy) vs. Non-Type A (round).

People who think that the concepts of Type A and Type B need a fresher, hipper, more 2016 name for marketing purposes are pointy, and people who don't give a fuck are round.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:47 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

uptight people are Taylor Swifts, and easygoing people are Flareons. hire me BuzzFeed
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:50 PM on August 26, 2016 [11 favorites]

I'm a brownish area with points, myself.
posted by apricot at 12:50 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

I feel like I should comment on this thread, given all the references to myers-briggs.

I am a round, or at least I aspire to have dull points.
posted by INFJ at 12:52 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think I need an explanation to see how this is more than Type A (pointy) vs. Non-Type A (round).

See, i thought that was the mapping here too, but somehow Michelle Obama is full-on-round compared to Barack Obama who only displays the veneer of round, and I can't possibly see that being the case if it's just a Type-A/Type-B thing.

The fact that it bugs me of course proves that I'm pointy.
posted by sparklemotion at 12:57 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

I am not necessarily round, but I am pretty pointless.
posted by briank at 1:00 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Are you one of us or are you one of them?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:02 PM on August 26, 2016

I'm like Sputnik. Round, but quite pointy at parts!
posted by SansPoint at 1:02 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

One model of personality describes Introversion and Extroversion as supertraits composed of a bunch of subtraits (Reserved/Warm, Serious/Lively, Shy/Bold, Private/Forthright, and Self-Reliant/Group-Oriented) that naturally tend to flip in the same direction.

It might be useful to think of Pointiness & Roundness in the same way, as common personality patterns configured from sub-traits with natural affinities. We can borrow Private/Forthright and Self-Reliant/Group-Oriented from the list above, adding Emotionally Stable/Reactive, Self-Assured/Apprehensive, and Tolerates Disorder/Perfectionistic from the rest of the 16PF.

People who are private AND self-reliant AND self-assured are also often emotionally stable and untroubled by disorder and ambiguity. The opposite traits also tend to manifest together, which gives rise to the appearance of the Roundness/Pointiness dichotomy.

Of course, that dichotomy breaks down when you try to categorize people who are private AND apprehensive, or self-reliant AND perfectionist. (Someone like that popped into your mind just now, right? Are they Round or Pointy? The compass needle just spins and spins without settling...)
posted by Iridic at 1:06 PM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

Related
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:09 PM on August 26, 2016

I used nearly these same terms in an old Metatalk comment: "Leno and Conan are doofy and friendly and round; Letterman and Ferguson are snarky and teasing and angular." It's a pretty natural distinction. Cats are pointy, dogs are round.

But now I think of people as either a Zoe or a Zelda.
posted by painquale at 1:10 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

Are you a Sméagol or a Déagol?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 1:14 PM on August 26, 2016 [11 favorites]

we used to play a similar game but it wasn't just about people, but things, concepts, styles:
funk or disco
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 1:17 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm a freeze frame from a sphere eversion video
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:19 PM on August 26, 2016

Rosa Lyster wrote a short essay about Anne Boleyn last week called The Anne Boleyn Theory of Funny Women. It gives a pretty favorable description of a pointy person.
posted by Kattullus at 1:34 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think I'm an especially low energy round, but if I take two Sudafed and have a couple cups of coffee I'm a pointy. BUT. I much prefer how I feel as a pointy, which maybe implies that even when I think I'm a round I'm actually just a pointy that's anhedonic and lacking motivation?

The fact that I'm thinking about this at all means I'm a pointy. But the fact that I knew instantly what I was without requiring reflection implies I'm a bit round.
posted by penduluum at 1:44 PM on August 26, 2016

Oh yay, Rosa Lyster!

(Sorry, does that give it away?)
posted by mudpuppie at 1:52 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Everything goes back to Kirk or Spock with me. Wait: Maybe it's Joel Fleischman or Chris in the Morning?
posted by Occula at 1:55 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

So... anxious (pointy) versus neurotypical (round)?
posted by XtinaS at 2:04 PM on August 26, 2016

Well there's also people who find out large chunks of thier core immutable personality vanish when they get decent anti-anexity medication
posted by The Whelk at 2:07 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

If you guys like this comment you're a round, if not you're a pointy.
posted by numaner at 2:11 PM on August 26, 2016

i am a dodecahedron
posted by XtinaS at 2:15 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

If you're a round, don't worry: we can give you a point so you fit in. .
posted by happyroach at 2:25 PM on August 26, 2016

There are two types of people in the world: those who divide the world into binary oppositions, and those who don't. I'm in the latter group.
posted by Saxon Kane at 2:28 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Is this about ear shapes?
posted by Hairy Lobster at 2:35 PM on August 26, 2016 [2 favorites]

Round on the streets; pointy in the sheets.
posted by straight at 2:36 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Round people can really annoy me so much. They just sit there, being round and looking at you like that.
posted by waving at 2:41 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

right? and once they get started on their parliamentarian bullshit it's like uuugghhhh
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:49 PM on August 26, 2016

It's not really a new idea.
posted by doctor_negative at 3:54 PM on August 26, 2016

So, a three-pointed star is pretty pointy, but a four-pointed star seems pointier still... the more points, the pointier.

Interestingly, the limit of infinite pointiness is... round.
posted by forza at 4:02 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Oh, another classification system. Let's see. Yup, nope, yup, nope, nope, nope. I don't seem to fit either mold. Who gives a fuck?

Guess I'm a round.
posted by Autumn Leaf at 4:27 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Thabk god its not the early 90s anymore so we don't call things Apollonisan or Dynosian
posted by The Whelk at 4:36 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

was not certain of own roundness or pointiness until that last paragraph in which a pointy relationship was described as two terrible little wolverines and then it became so clear
posted by poffin boffin at 4:37 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

altho tbh i am more regularly described as The Angriest Chihuahua

v smol many bites such rage
posted by poffin boffin at 4:38 PM on August 26, 2016 [6 favorites]

Pointies come back from a night out going Did you see that weird conversation those guys were having. Were they having a fight? Why did that woman have such shiny shoes on? Rounds come back from a party going JESUS that was fun.

I think introverts do not exist in this person's universe.
posted by Justinian at 4:48 PM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

i would like to be round like a yellow lab but i think i am pointy like a lazy yet inexplicably angry cat
posted by burgerrr at 4:50 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

What if u r pointy w things but round abt people
posted by superior julie at 4:58 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

If you guys like this comment you're a round, if not you're a pointy.
posted by numaner at 5:11 PM on August 26
[+] [!]

Look, everyone on MeFi is a pointy.

See, overeducated _alligator was right!
posted by numaner at 5:04 PM on August 26, 2016

I have a constant positive radius, if I read that right... otherwise who cares? ;-)
posted by MikeWarot at 5:42 PM on August 26, 2016

Thabk god its not the early 90s anymore so we don't call things Apollonisan or Dynosian

i'm bringing it back whelk
posted by rorgy at 6:14 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure I'm a cusp.
I haven't the faintest idea what that means.
posted by nat at 6:19 PM on August 26, 2016

I'm a fuckin' sea urchin.
posted by Itaxpica at 6:31 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

I think introverts do not exist in this person's universe.

Yeah I kinda thought this too like - what if I'm highly neurotic but also highly self-contained? Though I do actually enjoy talking shit about people I don't know!
posted by atoxyl at 6:38 PM on August 26, 2016

I'm a gumby not a pokey.
Dude. You mean you're a Goo not a Prickles.
posted by darksasami at 6:48 PM on August 26, 2016

I am updating my OK Cupid profile RIGHT NOW. Pointies only, rounds need not apply. My Myers-Briggs type is IDGAF.
posted by pleasant_confusion at 6:51 PM on August 26, 2016 [3 favorites]

My Briggs Stratton type is two stroke. IYKWIM
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 7:01 PM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

In all seriousness, and I know it makes me a "pointy" or whatever for even bothering to think about this, I think that this article crystallized (for me) what I dislike about these kinds of articles, and about these kinds of identification systems. The frustrating bit for me is that they immediately jump to the assumption that these behaviors are blanket identities, rather than just potential facets of a more complex mode of being.

I am, in some ways, an ur–Pointy. Leaving aside that I compulsively write—this week, I've written something like 2–3 essays a day, which is a bit high but not a complete outlier—I also tend to think that, if you're gonna talk about something with people, you should talk about it as if it's an interesting thing, and not just idly chitchat about it. This has lost me invitations to certain social events. I also have a terrible habit, which I try to suppress, of cataloguing all of the things that get discussed over the course of a very tangenty conversation, so we can return to all of the tangents once the existing ones have been discussed. Because they're all so interesting to me! I'd worry that this was a symptom of college having made an intellectual out of me, but I've been doing this since I was seven or eight, and it freaked out my seven–or–eight–year–old peers way more than it freaks out my peers today. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

At the same time, I am pretty damn chill and uncaring of a person in a bunch of ways. One of the reasons I enjoy eloquence and loquacity is that they allow you to kind of bask in an ocean of mostly–related ideas and humors, so I can pick up a book or a long essay and just float along their rivers. I'm very precise about which new things I let myself get into, because they have to line exactly up with how I'm thinking or feeling or else I'll lose interest and move to something else, but I compulsively reread, rewatch, relisten, and replay things I enjoy, because once I know something I can be even lazier in my appreciation of it. As a traveler, I'll usually leave much earlier than I need to, because I prefer to be early to a thing than late, but I also refuse to freak out and push myself when delays emerge and things go wrong, so occasionally I'll show up to things much later than I'm intended to (though I do try and let people know if that's gonna happen).

Which is to say: if I absolutely had to self–identify, I'd probably be inclined to call myself a Round? Because, to me, things that strike others as "caring" or "intensity" or whatever is just a very gentle way of not giving a shit. Only I'm also writing this down right now, so... Pointy? Ah, fuck it, who cares.

I feel the same way about introvert v. extravert. I don't think it's wrong to point out that it's possible to either derive energy or feel drained from people and/or a lack of people, but is it really so simple as binary yes–to–one no–to–other? Give me a social situation I click with and I'll try to make it go on for three days straight; give me the right thing to do when I'm on my own and I'll spend a month (God, I wish) completely forgetting the time. Give me the wrong people and holy shit I want to astrally project myself out of this universe; leave me alone with the wrong things on my mind and I'll run outside to the nearest stranger and beg them to dance with me on the streets.

People who genuinely subscribe to these things, or to Myers–Briggs, as a way of understanding people give me the major skeeves. I can't wrap my mind around these systems of thinking; I get so skittish just to think that somebody might be trying to rub me along their chosen cheese grater and parse me as these weirdass flakes. It feels like a form of insanity, by that definition that madness is seeing rules and order where none exist. Does caring about this make me Pointy? Or is it creating the Pointy-v-Round dynamic that's Pointy, and I'm just having a Round rejection of the Pointiness? Do Rounds have it in them to be bothered by such things?

And what does it mean that, from my perspective, this is just the thing I'm writing out in between figuring out a Ween song on my third–grade recorder? Fuck, who knows, let's go bowling.
posted by rorgy at 7:13 PM on August 26, 2016 [4 favorites]

I was once very pointy, but hallucinogens turned me round.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:33 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

Age rubs off those points
posted by gt2 at 11:45 PM on August 26, 2016 [1 favorite]

MetaFilter test for pointiness: If you check to see how many favorites your comments have gotten, you're a pointy. Right?
posted by NMcCoy at 12:45 AM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

which Ween song though
posted by Earthtopus at 6:58 AM on August 27, 2016

Flutes of the Chi, of course!
posted by rorgy at 7:08 AM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Bowling ball filled with nails who tends to be attracted to durians.
posted by yeolcoatl at 9:47 AM on August 27, 2016

People who fit into a clearly-defined set are Bertrands. People who don't are Russells.
posted by qntm at 10:13 AM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

I don't have a shape, I'm best modelled as a point mass.
posted by Dysk at 10:40 AM on August 27, 2016 [2 favorites]

I usually enjoy personality dichotomies.

I read through the article and have no idea what it meant. Reading the comments section here has not enlightened me.
posted by Cozybee at 12:05 PM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

There are two types in the world - those who enjoy personality dichotomies, and a diverse group of other people.
posted by Greg_Ace at 12:35 PM on August 27, 2016 [3 favorites]

But what was Slavoj Žižek?
posted by lazuli at 3:50 PM on August 27, 2016 [1 favorite]

Cozybee: I think it translates into the following:

Round: doesn't care what anyone else is thinking, is self-sustaining and cool with life, not super concerned with the thoughts of others.
Pointy: desperately cares what everyone else is thinking, codependent, are easily stressed by and constantly focused on other people.

I'm a round! Hahahahahah, awesome! Fuck y'alls drama! (Though my job has forced me to take up some Pointy because apparently roundness is offensive there.)
posted by jenfullmoon at 11:12 PM on August 27, 2016

which Ween song though

mister would you please help my pony
posted by poffin boffin at 10:47 AM on August 28, 2016 [1 favorite]

Which is the one I need to game the test for in order to get/maintain a job?
posted by Fongotskilernie at 2:09 AM on August 29, 2016

I think it's his lung
posted by Earthtopus at 11:04 AM on August 29, 2016

On the Bert and Ernie dichotomy, there was a Slate piece doing exactly the pointy/round type of thing a few years ago, but they called it Order Muppets and Chaos Muppets: What Kind of Muppet Are You?

I am a total pointy and a total order muppet.
posted by urbanlenny at 12:31 PM on August 29, 2016 [1 favorite]

Actually, I'm kind of round on the ends and pointy in the middle, O-HI-O!
posted by e1c at 12:42 PM on August 29, 2016 [2 favorites]

Actually, I'm kind of round on the ends and pointy in the middle
posted by e1c

eponyliteral
posted by Greg_Ace at 1:02 PM on August 29, 2016 [3 favorites]

If your reaction is "I am NOT a pointy!" you're a pointy.
If your reaction is "Oh god, I'm a pointy." you're a pointy.
If your reaction is "I am round as hell!" you're a pointy.
If your reaction is "Can I BE more round?" you're Chandler Bing who everyone knows is a pointy.
posted by like_neon at 3:39 AM on August 30, 2016