Dogs are the doggiest

September 9, 2016 9:34 AM

How to tell if your Golden Retriever is stoned

Dogs Caught Mid-Lick
Dogs Demonstrating How To Dog
and for Doctor Who fans: Blink

posted by Johnny Wallflower (26 comments total)

Dogs being dogs previously
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 9:35 AM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

You had one job, Chewy!
posted by brand-gnu at 9:40 AM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Nice recovery, J-W. :)
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:48 AM on September 9, 2016 [9 favorites]

Oh, awesome.
posted by suelac at 9:54 AM on September 9, 2016

Who names their dog "ZALGO"? I mean, honestly.

/Dr. Evil.
posted by I-baLL at 10:27 AM on September 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

This is some A+ Friday Fun that I desperately needed. Thanks!
posted by ApathyGirl at 10:28 AM on September 9, 2016

Oh man, I'm the opposite of a "dog person" (though I love all animals) and this was hard to watch. Poor old man.
posted by jeff-o-matic at 10:29 AM on September 9, 2016

After not fetching the yellow thing, Doggo watches as his human simply walks over and retrieves it.

It is then that Doggo realizes his whole life has been a lie.

One minute later, Doggo has completely forgotten this epiphany as his human administers biscuit treats and a soothing belly rub.

Two days later, Doggo is back to fetching the yellow thing like a champ.
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:47 AM on September 9, 2016 [8 favorites]

You get that dog to lay down somewhere comfy and you snuggle him RIGHT NOW you monster!
posted by sparklemotion at 11:17 AM on September 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

Still don't understand the gratuitous Zalgo-text on the post title.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:18 AM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Zalgo is never gratuitous. There is only as little or as much Z̯̲a̮͙̱͎͚l̴̪͎̻g͙͍͇̞͘o̤ as is required.

(thanks for this post, btw JW)
posted by sparklemotion at 11:21 AM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Naming my next dog Zalgo Rex.

Nice post!
posted by clavdivs at 11:23 AM on September 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

Reminds me of many, many discussions during my annual reviews concerning personal development goals and productivity targets.
posted by Devonian at 12:05 PM on September 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

That right there is one excellent pupper in need of some snuggling and snoozing
posted by Hermione Granger at 12:35 PM on September 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

thats me in the morning before my coffee
posted by entropicamericana at 12:38 PM on September 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

Related.
posted by tobascodagama at 1:07 PM on September 9, 2016

So... Cats are perpetually stoned dogs? That's what I'm getting here.
posted by Mr.Encyclopedia at 1:11 PM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I was expecting to see some dude blowing bong smoke up the dogs nose, and was surprised that something like that would stay on the FP here. In fact, it is almost as bad, as the poor dog is wasted from whatever the vet has given him and then when he looks at his owner, wanting love and hugs, to be comforted in this scary state, the owner makes a fucking video and tosses a fucking ball around. He may be your dog, but he doesn't exist for yout fucking amusement, dude - cuddle your dog, hold him, help him, he is probably confused and has the fear right now.
posted by marienbad at 2:51 PM on September 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

The black and white dog in the last gif here has gotten burned by that glass door before. Not falling for that again.
posted by supercres at 3:02 PM on September 9, 2016

More doggy doggerel from SadAndUseless.com, a site that is NEITHER. Dogs That Are About To Sneeze… and Latest Dog Fashion Trend: Crocheted Hats!

Internet Dogs > Internet Cats
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:28 PM on September 9, 2016 [2 favorites]

So... Cats are perpetually stoned dogs?

Sure, cats are chill af
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 3:35 PM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

Mod note: The Zalgo was killing people's browsers. I had to take measures, sorry.
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 7:23 PM on September 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

it was brief but glorious
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 7:35 PM on September 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

I posted one of these pics in the other thread, but - my dog Figlet intuitively squints during pictures which makes him look very , very high.
posted by Fig at 8:04 PM on September 9, 2016 [4 favorites]

I liked how he said "really, really high" as it reminded me of Bill Hicks (and Tool.)
posted by Rhomboid at 6:01 AM on September 10, 2016

Aw, poor pupper.
posted by MissySedai at 7:32 AM on September 10, 2016